تدريب Shadowing: How to Talk Less & Influence More (3 Secrets) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو
جارٍ إنشاء الدرس...
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Shut up.
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Yeah, that's one of the fastest ways to become more influential
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according to who I consider to be the godfather of communication
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Dale Carnegie who wrote the book how to win friends
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and influence people
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and in this video I want to share with you the three biggest lessons from this book
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that will make you a more influential communicator My name is Vin
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and for more than a decade I've taught millions of people around the world how to become a better communicator
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and this year I also became an author
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So to celebrate over the next few months I'll be sharing the most powerful lessons from my favorite communication books
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that have shaped me and the person that I've become
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And the funny thing is I was given this book
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when I was about 12 My uncle car gave it to me
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and I looked at the title and I thought to myself.
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I don't need help making friends I know how to do
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that and influence I didn't even know what
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that word meant nor why it mattered So I thanked my uncle and I didn't read it.
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Sorry uncle car It wasn't until I was in my early 20s
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when the desire to make something of my life started to set in.
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Then this book hit me very differently.
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Because it taught me a lesson that has shaped my life ever since.
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Success leaves clues.
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There are people who've spent decades working things out and then for 20 to 30 dollars, they put the blueprint in your hands.
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I didn't have to work everything out by myself.
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I could stand on the shoulders of giants.
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And Dale Carnegie was one of the first giants in my life.
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Lesson one.
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Start with what they want.
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If you want to influence someone, stop beginning with what you want and start with what they want.
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Dale uses this wonderful analogy about fishing.
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I mean, he loves strawberries and cream.
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I mean, I do too.
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But when he goes fishing, does he put strawberries and cream on the hook?
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No!
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Because the fish doesn't care what Dale Carnegie likes for dessert.
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The fish wants worms!
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And this sounds so obvious.
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But I realized that I recently had made the exact same mistake with my wife.
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I love camping.
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I love everything to do with camping.
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And when I first tried to convince Pei Wen to go, I sold it to her using the things that excite me about camping.
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So I'd say things like, Pei Wen, imagine this.
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We're out in the wilderness with the children.
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There are no bathrooms.
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We'll have to dig some holes.
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It's cold, so we're gonna have to make our own fire.
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Cut down our own wood and we have to survive.
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And I would get more excited with every sentence.
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Meanwhile, poor Pei Wen on the other side is looking at me like I'm describing a hostage situation.
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I was selling her my version of strawberries and cream.
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Actually, no. In this scenario, I was more selling her hypothermia.
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The problem was not camping itself.
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I was explaining it from my point of view.
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I needed to think about what motivated my wife pay when
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and what would have motivated her quality time with the family disconnecting from our devices, watching the kids explore nature.
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It's the same damn camping trip, but it would be a completely different conversation.
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And we probably would have went camping.
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And this is where so many of us get persuasion wrong, including me.
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Still to this day.
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We spend all our time explaining why we care.
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But if you're trying to influence someone else, at some point you have to get out of your own head.
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And think about what's in it for them.
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You gotta look at it from their perspective.
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What do they care about?
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What do they want more of?
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What do they want less of?
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I had to learn this in my own business too.
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For years, I thought I was selling communication skills.
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Use your voice, improve your body language, become a better storyteller.
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Those were my versions of strawberries and cream.
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But most people aren't lying there awake at 2 in the morning at night thinking, my melodic variation is inadequate.
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They're thinking, why don't people take me seriously?
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Why do I freeze in meetings?
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Why do I feel invisible?
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You see, they're not buying communication skills.
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They're trying to be more confident, more respected, and they're trying to become more influential.
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And this is one of the key reasons why I wrote
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before we forget how to connect to help you learn how to use your voice your body language
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and Storytelling so you can be more influential
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But then also there's a whole section dedicated to listening so
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that you can understand what's important to the other person And look, I don't want you to just read the ideas in this book.
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I want to help you practice them So we've created a special pre-order bonus
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if you pre-order the book this month You'll get a free
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ticket to join me live for my three-day online event called break the mold
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Where you work on your voice
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so you can come across with more authority You work on your body language
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so we can increase your presence
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and I'll teach you how to express your ideas in a way That's clear concise
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and coherent So the link is below if you want to pre-order the book
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or you can scan the QR code on screen
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Lesson two listen before you solve while we're on the subject of getting out of our own heads
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Dale's second lesson is something I'm still having to work at every single day
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and it's listening My default mode is to listen to solve.
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You tell me a problem, I'm in.
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Okay, here's what you need to do.
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Step one is this, step two is this, I've made you a spreadsheet with a 12-week action plan.
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You didn't ask for the action plan, but I've made you one anyway.
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That's my go-to move.
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My other bad habit is that I'm too quick to find my version of your story.
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So if you tell me you're tired and exhausted, then I'm very quickly gonna say, Oh, you think you're tired?
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Do you have two kids two dogs two cats four chickens and three alpacas?
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Do you I always think it's a game of comparison
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So there are two ways I accidentally make the conversation about me one I solve your story
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or two I match and then one up your story.
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It's super annoying And i'm not saying this is always bad Sometimes people actually want advice.
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They want a 12-step action plan Sometimes people want you to share experiences with them because that's what creates connection
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The problem is timing.
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If you do these things too quickly as people are talking, I've already made the conversation about me before you finish telling your story.
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And as a teacher, I used to do this all the time in my workshops.
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A student would come up to me and say, Hey Vin, I need to sell more confidence in meetings.
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And immediately my communication teacher brain wants to fix it.
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I'd say, volume, rate of speech, body language, it's easy, let's go, let's make the change.
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But if I stuck with them just a little longer, asked them a few more questions, Hey, tell me more.
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When did you notice your confidence start to drop?
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Sometimes the real problem they're experiencing is completely different to the one they were showing.
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Maybe a senior team member constantly interrupts them.
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Maybe they know their subject really well, but the moment they get challenged, their mind goes blank.
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Maybe they're not struggling to speak.
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Maybe they're just terrified of being wrong.
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If I solved the first sentence they gave me, I might have solved the wrong damn thing.
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People know more about their own inner world than you do
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but because we're so eager to contribute and help Sometimes we interrupt the discovery process.
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So here's something i've been trying to practice
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Before you give the advice before you share your version of the story
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Ask three more follow-up questions to the person who's talking tell me more about what happened.
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How did that make you feel?
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Is there anything else?
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I want you to just stay in their world for three questions longer because what does this do?
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This will show them that you care and once they know you care then
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when you share your version of the story Then when you share your thoughts, maybe even your advice They're much more likely to listen to you
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because now the bridge of connection has been built and
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that brings me to the third lesson in this wonderful book Names
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and this one is strangely personal to me because my name is Vin Jiang V-I-N-H-G-I-A-N-G And throughout my life, people have forgotten it.
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They've misspelled it.
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I don't know how on earth they mispronounce Vin.
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There was an event I did years ago where the organizer spelt my name incorrectly.
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Yeah, and I got really upset.
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Far more upset than the situation deserved.
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The poor damn event organizer did not deserve it.
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It was a mistake, but they accidentally received years of accumulated frustration from me in that moment.
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Because when I look back at that situation now, I wasn't angry because of one spelling mistake for a long time in my life I felt forgettable
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and seeing my name spelt wrong just touched a nerve
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that night And that's what Dale Carnegie understood
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because your name may be a small collection of sounds a small sequence of letters
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But to you it's you it's yours years ago I used to run a workshop experiment in my classes
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and I'd have 40 to 50 students
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and before the workshop I would memorize by looking at their photos every single person's name
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And as they walk into the workshop wearing no badge, I'd immediately say, Hey Sarah! morning David Hey Quinn and you should have seen the look on their faces.
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What fascinated me was how Disproportionately meaningful such a small thing felt.
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I hadn't given them money.
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I hadn't bought them a present I just remembered a word their word, but most of us don't forget names
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because we can't remember them We simply are not paying attention
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when the name is given to us You know the moment
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when I say hi my name is Vind
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and they say hi my name is Michael and you're thinking about okay
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So once this person stops talking I immediately have to introduce
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myself How can I introduce myself in a way that's exciting
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wait am I smiling wait am I doing something weird with my hands
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and then 30 seconds later The name Michael has disappeared from your memory
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and then now you spend the rest of the conversation going oh my buddy old pal chief of Oh
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Champ trust me when you do that.
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They know that you've forgotten their name How do I know
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because I've been caught out on it
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and this connects all three of Dale's lessons beautifully first of all What do they want second of all?
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What are they trying to tell you and then thirdly what is their name?
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Do you notice the direction of your attention where it actually should be going when I was much younger?
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I thought being good with people meant that I I needed to be more interesting.
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So I tried to be more impressive.
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I told my stories I tried to make people laugh by being interesting
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and being funny and to be clear those things did help
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But I thought that I had to do
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that 100% of the time I thought influence was the ability to hold somebody's attention
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and only that just that but so much of Dale Carnegie's work Points us in the opposite direction
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Influence isn't just about your ability to hold somebody's attention It's also your ability to give somebody else your attention
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When my uncle gave me this book at 12 years old I thought I didn't need help making friends
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And nearly three decades later I can admit truthfully That I probably should have read it sooner
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Because it did help me build better relationships It did help me become more influential And yes, it pretty damn well did help me make more friends in life.
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Dale Carnegie is no longer here for me to thank personally, but his ideas are still helping people almost a century later.
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So Dale, cheers mate.
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Make sure you go and read How to Win Friends and Influence People if you haven't already.
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And remember, if you do want to go deeper into my work with my book before we forget how to connect, it's available for pre-order.
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The link is down below in the description, or you can scan the QR code on screen right now.
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And remember the pre-order bonus.
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You'll get to join me live at our event called Break the Mold.
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That's book number two done.
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And if you missed last week's book, the one I reviewed last week, which is Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards, also an amazing book.
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If you missed it, make sure you click this video up here.
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المفردات وملاحظات التحدث لهذا الدرس
هذا الدرس في المحادثة بمستوى B2 مبني على الفيديو “How to Talk Less & Influence More”. يحتوي هذا الفيديو على 187 جملة و2261 كلمة للتدرب على الترديد. مدة الكلام 11:01. يتكلم المتحدث بسرعة، نحو 205 كلمة في الدقيقة، لذا ستسمع كثيرًا من وصل الكلمات واختزال الأصوات. 85% من الكلمات ضمن أكثر 3,000 كلمة شيوعًا في الإنجليزية، ويُستحسن مراجعة الباقي قبل البدء.
أهم المفردات في هذا الفيديو
أصعب 15 كلمة في الفيديو، مع النطق والمعنى:
| الكلمة | النطق | المعنى |
|---|---|---|
| strawberry اسم | /ˈstɹɔˌbɛɹi/ | فَرَاوْلَة, فِرِيز |
| workshop اسم | /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/ | مَشْغَل, وَرْشَة |
| organizer اسم | /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/ | مُنَظِّم |
| motivate فعل | /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/ | حَثَّ |
| interrupt فعل | /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/ | قَاطَعَ |
| mold اسم | /moʊld/ | تَعَفُّن, عُفُونَة |
| scan فعل | /skæn/ | مَحَّصَ, تَمَعَّنَ |
| alpaca اسم | /ælˈpækə/ | أَلْبَكَة |
| blueprint اسم | /ˈbluːˌpɹɪnt/ | مُخَطَّط |
| concise صفة | /kənˈsaɪs/ | وَجِيز, مُوجَز |
| fascinate فعل | /ˈfæsɪneɪt/ | فَتَنَ |
| godfather اسم | /ˈɡɑdfɑðɚ/ | عَرَّاب, إِشْبِين |
| hypothermia اسم | /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/ | انخفاض حرارة الجسم |
| memorize فعل | /ˈmɛm.əˌɹaɪ̯z/ | حَفِظَ |
| misspell فعل | /mɪsˈspɛl/ | أَخْطَأَ اَلتَّهْجِئَة |
الأفعال المركبة التي ستسمعها
| الكلمة | النطق | المعنى |
|---|---|---|
| shut up | /ʃʌt ʌp/ | صَه, اُسْكُت |
جمل تستحق التكرار
جمل قصيرة وكاملة من الفيديو يمكنك استخدامها في الحديث اليومي:
- They're thinking, why don't people take me seriously?
- Why do I freeze in meetings?
- Why do I feel invisible?
- When did you notice your confidence start to drop?
- How did that make you feel?
القواعد في هذا الفيديو
أكثر التراكيب التي يستخدمها المتحدث، مع العبارات نفسها من الفيديو:
| التركيب | في الفيديو |
|---|---|
| “used to” used to + فعل — عادة أو حالة في الماضي لم تعد قائمة | used to do · used to run |
| المضارع التام have/has + اسم المفعول — حدث ماضٍ ما زال له أثر الآن | I've taught · have shaped · has shaped |
| المبني للمجهول be + اسم المفعول — التركيز على ما يحدث لا على من يفعله | was given · has been built · is given |
نطق يحتاج إلى انتباه
يستخدم المتحدث 64 من الصيغ المختصرة، مثل they're, I've, I'm. انطقها بصيغتها القصيرة كما تسمعها.
- أصوات “th”: godfather /ˈɡɑdfɑðɚ/, hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/, thirdly /ˈθɚdli/, truthfully /ˈtɹuːθ.fəl.i/
- أصوات “sh” و“zh”: influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/, workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, persuasion /pɚˈsweɪʒən/, spreadsheet /ˈspɹɛd.ʃit/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/
- الكلمات الطويلة — انتبه لموضع النبر: influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/, communicator /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/, organizer /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/, accumulate /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/, hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/
أصوات يجدها متحدثو العربية صعبة:
- /p/ — ليس /b/: انطقه مع نفخة هواء: workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, interrupt /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/, alpaca /ælˈpækə/, blueprint /ˈbluːˌpɹɪnt/, hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/
- /v/ — ليس /f/: مع اهتزاز الأوتار الصوتية: motivate /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/, variation /ˌvɛəɹiˈeɪʃn̩/, invisible /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/, nerve /nɝv/
- تتابع الصوامت — لا تضف حركة بينها: influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/, strawberry /ˈstɹɔˌbɛɹi/, interrupt /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/, mold /moʊld/, scan /skæn/
كيف تتدرب بهذا الفيديو
- استمع إلى الفيديو كاملًا مرة واحدة دون أن تتكلم، ودوّن الكلمات التي لا تعرفها.
- ابدأ بسرعة 0.75×، وردّد جملة جملة، ثم عُد إلى السرعة العادية عندما يصبح الأمر سهلًا.
- سجّل صوتك وقارنه بالأصل، مع الانتباه إلى كلمات مثل strawberry, workshop, organizer.
ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟
التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.