शैडोइंग अभ्यास: How to Talk Less & Influence More (3 Secrets) - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें
पाठ बनाया जा रहा है...
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Shut up.
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Yeah, that's one of the fastest ways to become more influential
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according to who I consider to be the godfather of communication
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Dale Carnegie who wrote the book how to win friends
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and influence people
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and in this video I want to share with you the three biggest lessons from this book
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that will make you a more influential communicator My name is Vin
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and for more than a decade I've taught millions of people around the world how to become a better communicator
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and this year I also became an author
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So to celebrate over the next few months I'll be sharing the most powerful lessons from my favorite communication books
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that have shaped me and the person that I've become
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And the funny thing is I was given this book
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when I was about 12 My uncle car gave it to me
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and I looked at the title and I thought to myself.
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I don't need help making friends I know how to do
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that and influence I didn't even know what
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that word meant nor why it mattered So I thanked my uncle and I didn't read it.
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Sorry uncle car It wasn't until I was in my early 20s
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when the desire to make something of my life started to set in.
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Then this book hit me very differently.
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Because it taught me a lesson that has shaped my life ever since.
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Success leaves clues.
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There are people who've spent decades working things out and then for 20 to 30 dollars, they put the blueprint in your hands.
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I didn't have to work everything out by myself.
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I could stand on the shoulders of giants.
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And Dale Carnegie was one of the first giants in my life.
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Lesson one.
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Start with what they want.
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If you want to influence someone, stop beginning with what you want and start with what they want.
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Dale uses this wonderful analogy about fishing.
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I mean, he loves strawberries and cream.
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I mean, I do too.
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But when he goes fishing, does he put strawberries and cream on the hook?
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No!
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Because the fish doesn't care what Dale Carnegie likes for dessert.
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The fish wants worms!
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And this sounds so obvious.
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But I realized that I recently had made the exact same mistake with my wife.
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I love camping.
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I love everything to do with camping.
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And when I first tried to convince Pei Wen to go, I sold it to her using the things that excite me about camping.
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So I'd say things like, Pei Wen, imagine this.
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We're out in the wilderness with the children.
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There are no bathrooms.
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We'll have to dig some holes.
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It's cold, so we're gonna have to make our own fire.
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Cut down our own wood and we have to survive.
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And I would get more excited with every sentence.
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Meanwhile, poor Pei Wen on the other side is looking at me like I'm describing a hostage situation.
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I was selling her my version of strawberries and cream.
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Actually, no. In this scenario, I was more selling her hypothermia.
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The problem was not camping itself.
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I was explaining it from my point of view.
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I needed to think about what motivated my wife pay when
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and what would have motivated her quality time with the family disconnecting from our devices, watching the kids explore nature.
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It's the same damn camping trip, but it would be a completely different conversation.
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And we probably would have went camping.
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And this is where so many of us get persuasion wrong, including me.
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Still to this day.
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We spend all our time explaining why we care.
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But if you're trying to influence someone else, at some point you have to get out of your own head.
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And think about what's in it for them.
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You gotta look at it from their perspective.
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What do they care about?
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What do they want more of?
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What do they want less of?
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I had to learn this in my own business too.
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For years, I thought I was selling communication skills.
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Use your voice, improve your body language, become a better storyteller.
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Those were my versions of strawberries and cream.
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But most people aren't lying there awake at 2 in the morning at night thinking, my melodic variation is inadequate.
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They're thinking, why don't people take me seriously?
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Why do I freeze in meetings?
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Why do I feel invisible?
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You see, they're not buying communication skills.
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They're trying to be more confident, more respected, and they're trying to become more influential.
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And this is one of the key reasons why I wrote
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before we forget how to connect to help you learn how to use your voice your body language
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and Storytelling so you can be more influential
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But then also there's a whole section dedicated to listening so
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that you can understand what's important to the other person And look, I don't want you to just read the ideas in this book.
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I want to help you practice them So we've created a special pre-order bonus
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if you pre-order the book this month You'll get a free
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ticket to join me live for my three-day online event called break the mold
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Where you work on your voice
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so you can come across with more authority You work on your body language
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so we can increase your presence
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and I'll teach you how to express your ideas in a way That's clear concise
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and coherent So the link is below if you want to pre-order the book
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or you can scan the QR code on screen
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Lesson two listen before you solve while we're on the subject of getting out of our own heads
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Dale's second lesson is something I'm still having to work at every single day
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and it's listening My default mode is to listen to solve.
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You tell me a problem, I'm in.
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Okay, here's what you need to do.
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Step one is this, step two is this, I've made you a spreadsheet with a 12-week action plan.
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You didn't ask for the action plan, but I've made you one anyway.
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That's my go-to move.
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My other bad habit is that I'm too quick to find my version of your story.
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So if you tell me you're tired and exhausted, then I'm very quickly gonna say, Oh, you think you're tired?
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Do you have two kids two dogs two cats four chickens and three alpacas?
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Do you I always think it's a game of comparison
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So there are two ways I accidentally make the conversation about me one I solve your story
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or two I match and then one up your story.
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It's super annoying And i'm not saying this is always bad Sometimes people actually want advice.
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They want a 12-step action plan Sometimes people want you to share experiences with them because that's what creates connection
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The problem is timing.
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If you do these things too quickly as people are talking, I've already made the conversation about me before you finish telling your story.
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And as a teacher, I used to do this all the time in my workshops.
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A student would come up to me and say, Hey Vin, I need to sell more confidence in meetings.
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And immediately my communication teacher brain wants to fix it.
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I'd say, volume, rate of speech, body language, it's easy, let's go, let's make the change.
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But if I stuck with them just a little longer, asked them a few more questions, Hey, tell me more.
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When did you notice your confidence start to drop?
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Sometimes the real problem they're experiencing is completely different to the one they were showing.
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Maybe a senior team member constantly interrupts them.
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Maybe they know their subject really well, but the moment they get challenged, their mind goes blank.
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Maybe they're not struggling to speak.
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Maybe they're just terrified of being wrong.
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If I solved the first sentence they gave me, I might have solved the wrong damn thing.
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People know more about their own inner world than you do
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but because we're so eager to contribute and help Sometimes we interrupt the discovery process.
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So here's something i've been trying to practice
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Before you give the advice before you share your version of the story
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Ask three more follow-up questions to the person who's talking tell me more about what happened.
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How did that make you feel?
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Is there anything else?
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I want you to just stay in their world for three questions longer because what does this do?
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This will show them that you care and once they know you care then
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when you share your version of the story Then when you share your thoughts, maybe even your advice They're much more likely to listen to you
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because now the bridge of connection has been built and
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that brings me to the third lesson in this wonderful book Names
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and this one is strangely personal to me because my name is Vin Jiang V-I-N-H-G-I-A-N-G And throughout my life, people have forgotten it.
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They've misspelled it.
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I don't know how on earth they mispronounce Vin.
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There was an event I did years ago where the organizer spelt my name incorrectly.
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Yeah, and I got really upset.
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Far more upset than the situation deserved.
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The poor damn event organizer did not deserve it.
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It was a mistake, but they accidentally received years of accumulated frustration from me in that moment.
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Because when I look back at that situation now, I wasn't angry because of one spelling mistake for a long time in my life I felt forgettable
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and seeing my name spelt wrong just touched a nerve
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that night And that's what Dale Carnegie understood
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because your name may be a small collection of sounds a small sequence of letters
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But to you it's you it's yours years ago I used to run a workshop experiment in my classes
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and I'd have 40 to 50 students
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and before the workshop I would memorize by looking at their photos every single person's name
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And as they walk into the workshop wearing no badge, I'd immediately say, Hey Sarah! morning David Hey Quinn and you should have seen the look on their faces.
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What fascinated me was how Disproportionately meaningful such a small thing felt.
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I hadn't given them money.
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I hadn't bought them a present I just remembered a word their word, but most of us don't forget names
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because we can't remember them We simply are not paying attention
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when the name is given to us You know the moment
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when I say hi my name is Vind
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and they say hi my name is Michael and you're thinking about okay
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So once this person stops talking I immediately have to introduce
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myself How can I introduce myself in a way that's exciting
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wait am I smiling wait am I doing something weird with my hands
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and then 30 seconds later The name Michael has disappeared from your memory
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and then now you spend the rest of the conversation going oh my buddy old pal chief of Oh
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Champ trust me when you do that.
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They know that you've forgotten their name How do I know
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because I've been caught out on it
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and this connects all three of Dale's lessons beautifully first of all What do they want second of all?
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What are they trying to tell you and then thirdly what is their name?
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Do you notice the direction of your attention where it actually should be going when I was much younger?
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I thought being good with people meant that I I needed to be more interesting.
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So I tried to be more impressive.
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I told my stories I tried to make people laugh by being interesting
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and being funny and to be clear those things did help
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But I thought that I had to do
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that 100% of the time I thought influence was the ability to hold somebody's attention
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and only that just that but so much of Dale Carnegie's work Points us in the opposite direction
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Influence isn't just about your ability to hold somebody's attention It's also your ability to give somebody else your attention
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When my uncle gave me this book at 12 years old I thought I didn't need help making friends
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And nearly three decades later I can admit truthfully That I probably should have read it sooner
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Because it did help me build better relationships It did help me become more influential And yes, it pretty damn well did help me make more friends in life.
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Dale Carnegie is no longer here for me to thank personally, but his ideas are still helping people almost a century later.
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So Dale, cheers mate.
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Make sure you go and read How to Win Friends and Influence People if you haven't already.
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And remember, if you do want to go deeper into my work with my book before we forget how to connect, it's available for pre-order.
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The link is down below in the description, or you can scan the QR code on screen right now.
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And remember the pre-order bonus.
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You'll get to join me live at our event called Break the Mold.
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That's book number two done.
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And if you missed last week's book, the one I reviewed last week, which is Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards, also an amazing book.
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If you missed it, make sure you click this video up here.
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इस पाठ की शब्दावली और बोलने के सुझाव
यह B2 स्तर का स्पीकिंग पाठ वीडियो “How to Talk Less & Influence More” पर आधारित है। इस वीडियो में शैडोइंग के लिए 187 वाक्य और 2261 शब्द हैं। बोला गया हिस्सा 11:01 लंबा है। वक्ता तेज़ बोलता है, लगभग 205 शब्द प्रति मिनट, इसलिए जुड़ी हुई और कमज़ोर ध्वनियाँ ज़्यादा मिलेंगी। 85% शब्द अंग्रेज़ी के 3,000 सबसे आम शब्दों में से हैं; बाकी शब्द अभ्यास से पहले देख लेना अच्छा रहेगा।
इस वीडियो की मुख्य शब्दावली
वीडियो के 15 सबसे कठिन शब्द, उच्चारण और अर्थ के साथ:
| शब्द | उच्चारण | अर्थ |
|---|---|---|
| influential विशेषण | /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/ | प्रभावी |
| strawberry संज्ञा | /ˈstɹɔˌbɛɹi/ | स्ट्रॉबेरी, हिसाल |
| workshop संज्ञा | /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/ | कर्मशाला, कारख़ाना |
| excite क्रिया | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | उत्तेजित करना, उत्साहित करना |
| organizer संज्ञा | /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/ | आयोजक, संयोजक |
| motivate क्रिया | /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/ | प्रेरित करना |
| interrupt क्रिया | /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/ | टोकना |
| mold संज्ञा | /moʊld/ | फफूंदी |
| concise विशेषण | /kənˈsaɪs/ | संक्षिप्त |
| hypothermia संज्ञा | /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/ | हाईपोथर्मिया |
| storyteller संज्ञा | कहानीकार | |
| worm संज्ञा | /wɝm/ | कीड़ा, पोका |
| inadequate विशेषण | /ɪnˈædəkwɪt/ | अपर्याप्त |
| dessert संज्ञा | /dɪˈzɝt/ | मिठाई, हलवा |
| hostage संज्ञा | /ˈhɑs.tɪd͡ʒ/ | बंधक |
वीडियो में आने वाली फ़्रेज़ल वर्ब
| शब्द | उच्चारण | अर्थ |
|---|---|---|
| shut up | /ʃʌt ʌp/ | चुप रहो!, चुप रह! |
दोहराने लायक वाक्य
वीडियो के छोटे, पूरे वाक्य जिन्हें आप रोज़ की बातचीत में इस्तेमाल कर सकते हैं:
- They're thinking, why don't people take me seriously?
- Why do I freeze in meetings?
- Why do I feel invisible?
- When did you notice your confidence start to drop?
- How did that make you feel?
इस वीडियो का व्याकरण
वक्ता जिन संरचनाओं का सबसे अधिक प्रयोग करता है, वीडियो के असली शब्दों के साथ:
| संरचना | वीडियो में |
|---|---|
| “used to” used to + क्रिया — बीती आदत या स्थिति जो अब नहीं है | used to do · used to run |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — बीता हुआ काम जिसका असर अभी भी है | I've taught · have shaped · has shaped |
| Passive voice be + past participle — ज़ोर इस पर कि क्या होता है, न कि कौन करता है | was given · has been built · is given |
ध्यान देने योग्य उच्चारण
वक्ता 64 बार संक्षिप्त रूपों का प्रयोग करता है, जैसे they're, I've, I'm। इन्हें वैसे ही छोटा बोलें जैसा आप सुनते हैं।
- “th” की ध्वनियाँ: godfather /ˈɡɑdfɑðɚ/, hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/, thirdly /ˈθɚdli/, truthfully /ˈtɹuːθ.fəl.i/
- “sh” और “zh” की ध्वनियाँ: influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/, workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, persuasion /pɚˈsweɪʒən/, spreadsheet /ˈspɹɛd.ʃit/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/
- लंबे शब्द — बलाघात सही रखें: influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/, communicator /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/, organizer /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/, accumulate /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/, hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/
हिंदी भाषियों के लिए मुश्किल ध्वनियाँ:
- /v/ और /w/ का फ़र्क़ — /v/ में ऊपर के दाँत निचले होंठ को छूते हैं, /w/ में होंठ गोल होते हैं: workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, motivate /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/, persuasion /pɚˈsweɪʒən/, worm /wɝm/, inadequate /ɪnˈædəkwɪt/
- /z/ — इसे “ज” (/dʒ/) न बनाएँ: organizer /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/, memorize /ˈmɛm.əˌɹaɪ̯z/, exhaust /ɪɡˈzɔst/, dessert /dɪˈzɝt/, invisible /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/
- शब्द की शुरुआत में s + व्यंजन — पहले “इ” न जोड़ें: strawberry /ˈstɹɔˌbɛɹi/, scan /skæn/, spreadsheet /ˈspɹɛd.ʃit/, strangely /ˈstɹeɪnd͡ʒli/, spelling /ˈspɛl.ɪŋ/
इस वीडियो से अभ्यास कैसे करें
- पहले बिना बोले पूरा वीडियो एक बार सुनें और जो शब्द नहीं आते उन्हें लिख लें।
- 0.75× गति से शुरू करें, एक-एक वाक्य की शैडोइंग करें, और सहज लगने पर सामान्य गति पर लौटें।
- अपनी आवाज़ रिकॉर्ड करें और मूल से तुलना करें, ख़ासकर influential, strawberry, workshop जैसे शब्दों पर ध्यान दें।
शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?
शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।