Pratique du Shadowing: How to Talk Less & Influence More (3 Secrets) - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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187 phrases
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Shut up.
Tais-toi.
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Yeah, that's one of the fastest ways to become more influential
Oui, c'est l'un des moyens les plus rapides de gagner en influence.
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according to who I consider to be the godfather of communication
selon celui que je considère comme le parrain de la communication
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Dale Carnegie who wrote the book how to win friends
Dale Carnegie, qui a écrit le livre Comment se faire des amis
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and influence people
et d'influencer les gens
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and in this video I want to share with you the three biggest lessons from this book
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that will make you a more influential communicator My name is Vin
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and for more than a decade I've taught millions of people around the world how to become a better communicator
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and this year I also became an author
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So to celebrate over the next few months I'll be sharing the most powerful lessons from my favorite communication books
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that have shaped me and the person that I've become
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And the funny thing is I was given this book
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when I was about 12 My uncle car gave it to me
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and I looked at the title and I thought to myself.
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I don't need help making friends I know how to do
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that and influence I didn't even know what
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that word meant nor why it mattered So I thanked my uncle and I didn't read it.
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Sorry uncle car It wasn't until I was in my early 20s
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when the desire to make something of my life started to set in.
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Then this book hit me very differently.
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Because it taught me a lesson that has shaped my life ever since.
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Success leaves clues.
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There are people who've spent decades working things out and then for 20 to 30 dollars, they put the blueprint in your hands.
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I didn't have to work everything out by myself.
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I could stand on the shoulders of giants.
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And Dale Carnegie was one of the first giants in my life.
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Lesson one.
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Start with what they want.
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If you want to influence someone, stop beginning with what you want and start with what they want.
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Dale uses this wonderful analogy about fishing.
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I mean, he loves strawberries and cream.
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I mean, I do too.
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But when he goes fishing, does he put strawberries and cream on the hook?
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No!
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Because the fish doesn't care what Dale Carnegie likes for dessert.
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The fish wants worms!
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And this sounds so obvious.
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But I realized that I recently had made the exact same mistake with my wife.
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I love camping.
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I love everything to do with camping.
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And when I first tried to convince Pei Wen to go, I sold it to her using the things that excite me about camping.
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So I'd say things like, Pei Wen, imagine this.
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We're out in the wilderness with the children.
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There are no bathrooms.
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We'll have to dig some holes.
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It's cold, so we're gonna have to make our own fire.
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Cut down our own wood and we have to survive.
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And I would get more excited with every sentence.
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Meanwhile, poor Pei Wen on the other side is looking at me like I'm describing a hostage situation.
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I was selling her my version of strawberries and cream.
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Actually, no. In this scenario, I was more selling her hypothermia.
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The problem was not camping itself.
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I was explaining it from my point of view.
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I needed to think about what motivated my wife pay when
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and what would have motivated her quality time with the family disconnecting from our devices, watching the kids explore nature.
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It's the same damn camping trip, but it would be a completely different conversation.
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And we probably would have went camping.
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And this is where so many of us get persuasion wrong, including me.
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Still to this day.
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We spend all our time explaining why we care.
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But if you're trying to influence someone else, at some point you have to get out of your own head.
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And think about what's in it for them.
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You gotta look at it from their perspective.
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What do they care about?
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What do they want more of?
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What do they want less of?
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I had to learn this in my own business too.
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For years, I thought I was selling communication skills.
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Use your voice, improve your body language, become a better storyteller.
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Those were my versions of strawberries and cream.
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But most people aren't lying there awake at 2 in the morning at night thinking, my melodic variation is inadequate.
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They're thinking, why don't people take me seriously?
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Why do I freeze in meetings?
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Why do I feel invisible?
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You see, they're not buying communication skills.
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They're trying to be more confident, more respected, and they're trying to become more influential.
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And this is one of the key reasons why I wrote
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before we forget how to connect to help you learn how to use your voice your body language
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and Storytelling so you can be more influential
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But then also there's a whole section dedicated to listening so
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that you can understand what's important to the other person And look, I don't want you to just read the ideas in this book.
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I want to help you practice them So we've created a special pre-order bonus
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if you pre-order the book this month You'll get a free
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ticket to join me live for my three-day online event called break the mold
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Where you work on your voice
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so you can come across with more authority You work on your body language
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so we can increase your presence
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and I'll teach you how to express your ideas in a way That's clear concise
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and coherent So the link is below if you want to pre-order the book
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or you can scan the QR code on screen
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Lesson two listen before you solve while we're on the subject of getting out of our own heads
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Dale's second lesson is something I'm still having to work at every single day
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and it's listening My default mode is to listen to solve.
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You tell me a problem, I'm in.
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Okay, here's what you need to do.
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Step one is this, step two is this, I've made you a spreadsheet with a 12-week action plan.
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You didn't ask for the action plan, but I've made you one anyway.
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That's my go-to move.
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My other bad habit is that I'm too quick to find my version of your story.
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So if you tell me you're tired and exhausted, then I'm very quickly gonna say, Oh, you think you're tired?
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Do you have two kids two dogs two cats four chickens and three alpacas?
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Do you I always think it's a game of comparison
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So there are two ways I accidentally make the conversation about me one I solve your story
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or two I match and then one up your story.
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It's super annoying And i'm not saying this is always bad Sometimes people actually want advice.
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They want a 12-step action plan Sometimes people want you to share experiences with them because that's what creates connection
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The problem is timing.
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If you do these things too quickly as people are talking, I've already made the conversation about me before you finish telling your story.
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And as a teacher, I used to do this all the time in my workshops.
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A student would come up to me and say, Hey Vin, I need to sell more confidence in meetings.
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And immediately my communication teacher brain wants to fix it.
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I'd say, volume, rate of speech, body language, it's easy, let's go, let's make the change.
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But if I stuck with them just a little longer, asked them a few more questions, Hey, tell me more.
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When did you notice your confidence start to drop?
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Sometimes the real problem they're experiencing is completely different to the one they were showing.
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Maybe a senior team member constantly interrupts them.
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Maybe they know their subject really well, but the moment they get challenged, their mind goes blank.
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Maybe they're not struggling to speak.
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Maybe they're just terrified of being wrong.
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If I solved the first sentence they gave me, I might have solved the wrong damn thing.
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People know more about their own inner world than you do
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but because we're so eager to contribute and help Sometimes we interrupt the discovery process.
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So here's something i've been trying to practice
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Before you give the advice before you share your version of the story
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Ask three more follow-up questions to the person who's talking tell me more about what happened.
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How did that make you feel?
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Is there anything else?
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I want you to just stay in their world for three questions longer because what does this do?
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This will show them that you care and once they know you care then
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when you share your version of the story Then when you share your thoughts, maybe even your advice They're much more likely to listen to you
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because now the bridge of connection has been built and
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that brings me to the third lesson in this wonderful book Names
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and this one is strangely personal to me because my name is Vin Jiang V-I-N-H-G-I-A-N-G And throughout my life, people have forgotten it.
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They've misspelled it.
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I don't know how on earth they mispronounce Vin.
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There was an event I did years ago where the organizer spelt my name incorrectly.
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Yeah, and I got really upset.
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Far more upset than the situation deserved.
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The poor damn event organizer did not deserve it.
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It was a mistake, but they accidentally received years of accumulated frustration from me in that moment.
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Because when I look back at that situation now, I wasn't angry because of one spelling mistake for a long time in my life I felt forgettable
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and seeing my name spelt wrong just touched a nerve
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that night And that's what Dale Carnegie understood
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because your name may be a small collection of sounds a small sequence of letters
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But to you it's you it's yours years ago I used to run a workshop experiment in my classes
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and I'd have 40 to 50 students
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and before the workshop I would memorize by looking at their photos every single person's name
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And as they walk into the workshop wearing no badge, I'd immediately say, Hey Sarah! morning David Hey Quinn and you should have seen the look on their faces.
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What fascinated me was how Disproportionately meaningful such a small thing felt.
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I hadn't given them money.
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I hadn't bought them a present I just remembered a word their word, but most of us don't forget names
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because we can't remember them We simply are not paying attention
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when the name is given to us You know the moment
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when I say hi my name is Vind
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and they say hi my name is Michael and you're thinking about okay
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So once this person stops talking I immediately have to introduce
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myself How can I introduce myself in a way that's exciting
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wait am I smiling wait am I doing something weird with my hands
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and then 30 seconds later The name Michael has disappeared from your memory
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and then now you spend the rest of the conversation going oh my buddy old pal chief of Oh
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Champ trust me when you do that.
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They know that you've forgotten their name How do I know
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because I've been caught out on it
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and this connects all three of Dale's lessons beautifully first of all What do they want second of all?
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What are they trying to tell you and then thirdly what is their name?
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Do you notice the direction of your attention where it actually should be going when I was much younger?
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I thought being good with people meant that I I needed to be more interesting.
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So I tried to be more impressive.
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I told my stories I tried to make people laugh by being interesting
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and being funny and to be clear those things did help
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But I thought that I had to do
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that 100% of the time I thought influence was the ability to hold somebody's attention
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and only that just that but so much of Dale Carnegie's work Points us in the opposite direction
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Influence isn't just about your ability to hold somebody's attention It's also your ability to give somebody else your attention
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When my uncle gave me this book at 12 years old I thought I didn't need help making friends
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And nearly three decades later I can admit truthfully That I probably should have read it sooner
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Because it did help me build better relationships It did help me become more influential And yes, it pretty damn well did help me make more friends in life.
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Dale Carnegie is no longer here for me to thank personally, but his ideas are still helping people almost a century later.
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So Dale, cheers mate.
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Make sure you go and read How to Win Friends and Influence People if you haven't already.
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And remember, if you do want to go deeper into my work with my book before we forget how to connect, it's available for pre-order.
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The link is down below in the description, or you can scan the QR code on screen right now.
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And remember the pre-order bonus.
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You'll get to join me live at our event called Break the Mold.
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That's book number two done.
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And if you missed last week's book, the one I reviewed last week, which is Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards, also an amazing book.
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If you missed it, make sure you click this video up here.
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Podcast tiếng Anh - Cách mình tránh lười và hoàn thành mục tiêu (Luyện Nghe/Shadowing) | Tập 14
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « How to Talk Less & Influence More ». Cette vidéo contient 187 phrases et 2261 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 11:01. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 205 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 85 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| influential adjectif | /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/ | influent |
| strawberry nom | /ˈstɹɔˌbɛɹi/ | fraise |
| workshop nom | /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/ | atelier |
| communicator nom | /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/ | communicateur, communicatrice |
| excite verbe | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | exciter |
| organizer nom | /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/ | organisateur, organisatrice |
| motivate verbe | /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/ | motiver |
| interrupt verbe | /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/ | interrompre, couper |
| mold nom | /moʊld/ | moisissure f moisi, mildiou |
| scan verbe | /skæn/ | scanner, fouiller |
| accumulate verbe | /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/ | accumuler |
| alpaca nom | /ælˈpækə/ | alpaga |
| blueprint nom | /ˈbluːˌpɹɪnt/ | cyanotype |
| concise adjectif | /kənˈsaɪs/ | concis |
| disconnect verbe | /dɪskəˈnɛkt/ | débrancher, déconnecter |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| come across verbe | avoir l'air de | |
| cut down verbe | abattre | |
| shut up | /ʃʌt ʌp/ | tais-toi! informal, taisez-vous! formal or plural |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- They're thinking, why don't people take me seriously?
- Why do I freeze in meetings?
- Why do I feel invisible?
- When did you notice your confidence start to drop?
- How did that make you feel?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| « Used to » used to + verbe — une habitude ou un état passé qui n’est plus vrai | used to do · used to run |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | I've taught · have shaped · has shaped |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | was given · has been built · is given |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 64 contractions et formes réduites, comme they're, I've, I'm. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: godfather /ˈɡɑdfɑðɚ/, hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/, thirdly /ˈθɚdli/, truthfully /ˈtɹuːθ.fəl.i/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/, workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, persuasion /pɚˈsweɪʒən/, spreadsheet /ˈspɹɛd.ʃit/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/, communicator /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/, organizer /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/, accumulate /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/, hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/, coherent /koʊˈhɛɹ.ənt/, hostage /ˈhɑs.tɪd͡ʒ/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: strangely /ˈstɹeɪnd͡ʒli/, analogy /əˈnæləd͡ʒi/, hostage /ˈhɑs.tɪd͡ʒ/, champ /t͡ʃæmp/, badge /bæd͡ʒ/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: strawberry /ˈstɹɔˌbɛɹi/, organizer /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/, interrupt /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/, blueprint /ˈbluːˌpɹɪnt/, hypothermia /ˌhaɪpəʊˈθɜː(ɹ)mi.ə/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme influential, strawberry, workshop.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.