تدريب Shadowing: Using My Voices For Evil | Gabriel Iglesias - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

No, sometimes I use my voices for evil, man.

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No, sometimes I use my voices for evil, man.

I won't lie.

If I don't have my way,

like when I go to drive-thrus and they screw up my order, oh, I'm evil.

I go back around and I start ordering,

but I throw them off by doing this, right?

They'll come on the speaker.

Welcome to Fantastic Burger.

How can I help you?

I'll do this.

Hello, sir?

Hi.

Can I please have a double cheeseburger,

an order fries, and a shake?

Double cheeseburger, order fries, and a shake.

Oh my god, yes.

Then I pull up.

Oh, they're not expecting me.

Oh, the look on their face is the best, right?

Did you just order?

They come back with a bag of food, you know.

Would you like ketchup?

That's where I let them have it.

Oh my god, yes.

Hell yeah, man.

Oh, and by the way,

before I forget, I know I have a habit of my shows of sometimes throwing a little Spanish in there.

If you don't understand Spanish, I do apologize, okay?

I promise I will be translating.

I don't want anybody freaking out or reporting me to the management with concerns or issues, you know.

What the hell is going on in there?

What kind of show is this?

No, somebody better hit the SAP button on that sonbitch real quick.

I didn't pay good money to hear some Samoan speak Spanish.

I'm not Samoan.

I'm fluffy.

I didn't know why the guy thought I was Samoan, you know?

And I've had this happen a couple times where people go, Are you Hawaiian?

I'm like, no. No, not just a shirt.

I thought it was just a shirt,

but no. How could it just be a shirt?

Just because you wear a freaking sombrero,

That doesn't make you Mexican.

I see white people wearing a sarape,

walking a donkey with a sombrero.

You don't look at him and go, hola, amigo.

No, you're like, hey, Ted.

Hi.

You know, and he's walking around.

Hola.

Come on, stupid donkey.

Donkey!

Come on.

I don't get it, man.

I'm just trying to do my own thing.

But it's funny, though.

I didn't know why the guy thought I was Hawaiian until I actually went to Hawaii.

I found out that Hawaiian people actually look like swollen Mexicans.

They do.

I got off the plane,

I looked around, I was like,

oh, my God, my family!

Even they were like, Aloha, brother.

Lo que le.

Malo, malo.

Orale.

I loved Hawaii.

Hawaii was great, man.

They have a lot of different cultures there.

They have a lot of Asian people a lot a lot of Koreans I know this

because I got a couple of shirts tailored at some places

and every time I'd go in I was always a Korean lady an older Korean lady who was me

I'd walk in and this one lady always had a comment to make.

I'm there for a week and every day she had a different comment

I walk in one day and I couldn't say anything either because she was 75 years old.

I can't say nothing back You know,

but there I am walking in The lady behind the counter,

oh, oh, look at who's here.

Look at who's here.

Oh, shit, we're gonna work hard today.

Ashana, Ashana!

Whatever.

Make fun of me.

But I can handle it, though, you know.

I can handle it.

Some people say, well, you know,

Gabriel, you go up there and you make fun of yourself.

No, I don't.

I come up here and I tell you the things that I heard people say.

There's a difference, you know,

sometimes I set myself up for jokes and I don't realize it.

Three years ago, I bought a Beetle, not even thinking.

That's not the joke, shut up.

See, I can't even tell you guys this story already.

I wasn't thinking, I bought the car because it was affordable,

economical, brand new freaking Beetle for like 17 grand.

I was like, ah, first new car.

I go to show it off at my friend Martin's house.

I thought it was nice.

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I pull up, you know.

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Martin!

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He lives in the hood,

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I don't get out the car.

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Across the street there are these gang members.

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The kind of gang members,

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they don't really get into,

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you know, like shooting people and stuff like that they just hang out on the porch and talk a lot of smack.

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And so I'm there in a Beatle and across the street I hear this, right?

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I'm like, Martin!

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And over here I hear, Orale!

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Hey, what's up guys?

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How's it going?

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How'd you get in there, is it?

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Hurry up, Martin!

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Two months later, I go back to pick him up.

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Now I've had some time to work on the car, right?

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I put some rims on it, some stickers.

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I put a chip in the motor so it goes faster.

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I thought it was bad, right?

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I pull up.

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Martin!

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Orale!

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Uh-uh, I'm not turning around.

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Hey!

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Hey!

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I don't see you.

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Yoo-hoo!

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Oh!

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Hey!

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What?

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Check it out, eh?

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It's the Fat and the Furious.

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I didn't even wait, man.

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Got rid of that car, man.

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I traded it in and got myself a big old SUV.

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It was nice for a while.

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This car freaking sucked on mileage though, man.

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It got 11 miles to the gallon.

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You cannot be badass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.

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You can't You can't be at the stoplight trying to intimidate other cars, you know what?

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20 bucks right there Hell no,

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man, but it was kind of cool It had a GPS navigational system in it

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and on star which was really cool You know I'm driving

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and all of a sudden this girl's talking to me right here and up ahead Woo-hoo!

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A three-quarter tenths of a mile left turn.

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And I'm like, whatever you say, baby.

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Being a big guy, I've noticed that people feel compelled to tell me certain things after shows.

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I get people that'll pull me aside and go,

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Gabriel, you're a very funny guy.

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You're very talented.

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Don't you think perhaps you're living a little excess in life?

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And I'm like, well, I love to eat.

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Well, don't you want to live to be 100?

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Well, not if I can't eat tacos.

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And as many as I want.

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You know, a lot of people think that just

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because you work out and lift weights and you eat right

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and you do what people tell You to do that you'll live a long life.

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Maybe you will But you know why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

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I'm measured by freaking, you know what I mean?

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What good is it to live to be a hundred

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but you didn't do anything you didn't go out

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and kick it with friends You didn't go out

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and get drunk at some club and wake up in an alley one time You know,

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what good is it?

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You stayed in the house and you were safe.

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And I lived to be a hundred.

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You know, I don't know.

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That's why I, um, you know,

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I have a very big amount of respect for the crocodile hunter.

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Rest in peace.

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But, come on, you guys.

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Yeah, he died at 44 years old, but...

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He died doing what he loves to do.

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Not a lot of people can say that.

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If I die tomorrow from over-reading,

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God bless me, that's exactly how it was supposed to be.

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You know how much adrenaline he had every single day risking his life?

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You know how you feel when you're about to cross the street

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and a car go and your ass almost gets hit and you're like and then you're hysterical.

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Oh my God, I almost died.

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Touch me, touch me right here.

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Touch me right here.

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And the rest of the day, you appreciate life.

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You're like looking at the birds or at the sky.

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Oh, you're loving life.

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He did that every day.

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That's why every day I try to live just a little bit of my life like I might not be here tomorrow.

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Because you never know.

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I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could have had a piece of cake tonight.

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Shoot.

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That's when people tell me,

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why don't you work out?

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Why don't you live weights?

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What if I'm going to die tomorrow?

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I don't want to die sore.

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I want to die full.

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When the corner cuts me open,

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I want the whole room to smell like potato wedges.

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He's gonna go, this guy knew how to live right here, man.

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Thank you.

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تدريب Shadowing: Using My Voices For Evil | Gabriel Iglesias - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

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تدريب Shadowing: Using My Voices For Evil | Gabriel Iglesias - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

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