Pratique du Shadowing: how to be calm | becoming your own safe place - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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165 phrases
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hello my love welcome to another cozy wonderful video of mine where i share my tips
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and practices that help me embody
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that grounded version of myself more today is a very hot summer evening
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and i'm sweating profoundly but nevertheless i do enjoy the weather quite a lot
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and i do hope that you are having a wonderful day
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or had a wonderful day wherever you are now people with
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whom i interact with in my daily life often tell me how calming they find my presence to be.
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However, this was not always the case and
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that is why I'm making this video to show you too
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that you can certainly embody this calm and grounded version of yourself if you desire to do so.
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A version of yourself that is unfazed by the life's currents
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and all of the different aspects of stress and frustration that may come to you throughout your life.
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Now, I actually used to allow myself to be steered by my emotions or life circumstances quite a lot,
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especially because I did grow up in a toxic household in which I spent 18 years of my life, so I was just constantly exposed to very stressful environments in
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which I often felt myself losing control over my own self
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or allow myself to be consumed fully by these situations that were happening to me.
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But throughout my healing journey, as I focused on becoming my own inner safe space and on becoming my own inner anchor that I can lean onto, I actually discovered quite a few practices
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that allowed me to find this inner calmness inside of myself that I would love to share with you too.
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Growing up in a toxic household meant that the circumstances that you were living in were very unstable, they felt very unsafe.
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And these outer circumstances also started to reflect on my inner world.
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And at some point, I was just truly tired of constantly being pushed and pulled from one emotion to the next, feeling not only unsafe in the environment that I was living in,
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but also starting to feel unsafe in my own body.
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And because of that, I wanted to figure myself out better.
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I wanted to understand what it is about these emotions that makes me want to move with them.
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What it is about this state that leaves me so anxious and stressed.
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So what I started to do was in moments after verbally abusive arguments
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and having all of this frustration inside of me after many heavy situations, I would actually sit down to journal.
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Writing about these situations helped me to gain distance to them to then look at them from a different perspective.
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And I would have this sort of checklist at some point after doing this for multiple times.
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I would go through each of these questions
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that I had in my mind and make sure
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that I linger in each question for as long as it feels needed of me to do so.
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Now at this point I do want to mention that I am not an expert.
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I'm just giving advice from my own personal journey
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and sharing the tips and practices that helped me and hopes
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that they can be of some use to you as well but
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if at any moment you don't feel comfortable with any of
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these practices please do not feel pressured into doing these things if they do not feel right to you.
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I know that people often tell you to not listen to sad music
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and to not linger too much in negative emotions
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but I feel like with this you are rather pushing your emotions away instead of actually processing them
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and going through them to also be able to truly and fully move on from the situation.
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So going back to this checklist that I would have, I would first start with the question, what happened?
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I would make sure that I would write down every single thing
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that comes to my mind that I feel like is important to mention.
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Then I moved on to the question on how it made me feel.
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How did the words that this person told me affect me and how am I feeling now after this argument?
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And from this question I moved straight into the next one which was why did it make me feel that way?
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Now this was the part in my journaling session where I
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would most of the time just cry without an end
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but I would still continue to write and sometimes I would even listen to
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sad music to allow me to truly get into the state of this emotion
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that I was feeling so that I can explore it fully and look at it from all the different aspects.
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And I would definitely say that this is the most important question to answer during this whole journaling session, because it helps you not only process the situation,
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but also understand yourself better and understand why you reacted the way that you did.
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And this also helps you to detect your own triggers
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and see what there is about certain interactions or about certain moments that just triggers these kinds of emotions inside of yourself,
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which I think is a very profound insight to have.
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I would write for as long as it felt right to me, and most of the times that meant that I wrote till I got into this sort of state of feeling empty,
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of feeling like I put down everything that I needed to onto paper.
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It's similar to those moments of, you know, when you just cried for hours without an end,
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you at some point come to this state where there's this sort of emptiness inside of you, which sounds very negative, but I mean it in the most positive way possible.
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It's like you've just put down and freed yourself of every single thought
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that you have that was occupying your mind from the situation, and that is always the state that I kind of tried to get myself into.
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That was the moment when I knew that now I have processed the situation fully.
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Once I had reached this state, I moved on to the last question, which was what can I learn from this.
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And this doesn't have to be anything major.
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Like sometimes after heavy arguments with my family, I would just write down that I need to talk less with my family members.
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And that was it.
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It's not about forcing yourself to think positively, but more about seeing if there's something that you could learn from this.
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Is there something that you could use to your advantage from this situation?
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We often tend to push ourselves into just one perspective and sometimes
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we just missed a major lesson that may have come from this
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and with this question you just simply give it space
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but you certainly do not always need to have an answer to it.
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And now during these journaling sessions I then had one major realization which allows us to move into the next tip.
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Now every time I would go through this process of having to live in a toxic household,
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going through these heavy arguments and then journaling about them later on and repeating this process multiple times over and over again,
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I started to notice one profound thing.
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If you close your eyes and look within yourself, you will notice this sort of warmth within yourself.
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It's like a weight and it's hard to describe, but I hope that if you just close your eyes right now
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and just try to look within and see what there is without trying to judge it too much, I'm sure that you will meet your own inner self, if that makes sense.
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I personally love to think of it as it being my this inner warmth
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that you're feeling within yourself that allows you to move this body, that allows you to move throughout this life.
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So as I was going through this nerve-wracking process of living
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in these circumstances to then constantly be involved in different kinds of situations that make you feel angry,
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frustrated, or stressed, to then also journal about them, I noticed that this inner force that you're feeling within yourself always stays the same.
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And that became my own inner anchor.
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This inner energy, this inner you that you're feeling is untouchable no matter what situation you are in, no matter what emotions you're experiencing,
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or no matter what happens to you.
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This inner warmth that you're feeling inside of yourself, even right now, will always stay unchanged and it will always be there.
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And that is what I started to focus on as I was going through this very heavy process of
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living in the circumstances of this toxic household.
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And that just showed me that any outer circumstances that I was going through cannot define me as a person.
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They cannot define and never take away my worth.
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And that was how I was able to become my own inner anchor in a way, because that showed me that my inner state,
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my world, my soul stays untouched no matter what happens to me, which for me just invites in that calmness into my being,
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that I know that I will still be there no matter what happens to me.
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But to be able to experience this inner calmness within yourself, you also need to be able to establish a loving and caring relationship with your own self.
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Once you establish this relationship and you can then lean back onto yourself at any time
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because you do know that you will not abandon yourself, that is the time when most of your worries,
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most the things that you stress about will simply lose their meaning not in the sense of that they will stop existing, but once you know that you have your own self,
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that you will hold your own self no matter what happens to you, you lose all of the fear and stress and anxiety that you have around certain situations so for example for me,
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as i was going through this heavy phase of realizing and grieving over the family that i never got to have, i went through heavy phases of anger, frustration and sadness
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but at some point i just kind of had this question come into my mind, where I asked myself, well, if everyone around me has completely abandoned me, why should I do the same?
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Back then I didn't even have an answer to this question, but by simply having this question come to my mind and be there in the room with me,
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something clicked inside of me and I thought, you know, it is unfair what's happening to me,
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I feel unfairly treated, but does that mean that I should abandon myself as well?
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Or should I rather prioritize this loving and gentle relationship between myself
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and make sure that I become my own inner anchor to lean onto.
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Make sure that I am the one that will definitely not abandon myself
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because this is something that I always wish to have.
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To put it simply, I wanted to prove to myself
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that I am worthy and deserving of this love that I crave to experience.
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And just because the people around me failed me does not mean that I'm not worthy of love.
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And I wanted to prove it to myself by establishing a very radically self-loving relationship to my own self
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and with achieving this, every other interaction or any other relationship
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that i had with the people around me kind of became less important, but in a very good way i was no longer entertaining this need
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and desire to prove to my family that i am deserving of the love
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that i want to receive because i had built it for myself
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and the same applies to the other relationship throughout my daily life
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that i was choosing if somebody treats you wrong and and you have a very self-loving relationship towards yourself, you have no problem stepping away from situations that are not benefiting you.
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You have no problem of taking yourself away and out of toxic situations
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because you have yourself and you know that you are complete
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and whole as you are right in this moment
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and you do not need to have it approved by other people
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or be seen by other people in the first place life from
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that point on just becomes so fun and playful in a way
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because you just have this mindset of whatever will happen i know
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that i can lean back onto myself and i know
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that i will lovingly hold my own hand
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and get through the situation no matter what so what's the fuss about? you know, like why should i worry about the situation
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if i will make it out anyways and probably learn even more about myself?
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so at that point it's basically a win-win situation with this playfulness
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and with this fun that comes into your life through that, you immediately become more calmer and more grounded within your own self because of that,
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i was then able to look at the different situations that upset me from a different angle, from a different perspective there's another deeply profound thing that I realized.
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Which is to realize that there are no failures in life.
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And once you truly understand and embody this mindset shift, you basically somehow become undefeatable.
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Because all of the fears, stress, and anxiety that you feel about different kinds of situations will simply cease to exist.
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Because you know, no matter what happens to you, no matter what you go through, it will always be in full alignment for your own self.
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It will always only be beneficial to you and for your own development.
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And having proof of this in your own life is what will also allow you to ground into this belief even more, which will then allow you to cultivate this calmness within yourself
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because you do understand that nothing that is meant for you will ever pass you and no matter what option you choose, it will always be the best one for you,
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even if it does not feel like that in that moment.
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A few years ago, I dropped out of university
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because of my mental health issues and I just felt like I had completely failed in life.
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I was deeply ashamed of myself, especially when I was comparing myself to the people around me.
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I had people around me that were going to university, finishing their major, and having these wonderful job opportunities,
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and other people that chose vocational trainings but were now earning money and buying their first own cars.
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And in the middle of it all, there I was, freshly dropped out of university, and I cannot even go grocery shopping without falling into a panic attack.
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And in fact, if I wouldn't have dropped out of university, I wouldn't have gone through these different situations in my life
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that allowed me to be in this place where I am today.
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If I wouldn't have dropped out of university, I wouldn't have gone to travels.
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And if I wouldn't have dropped out of university, I wouldn't have found my actual dream career that I am working now as.
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And now, lastly, build a daily reset routine for yourself.
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Look for practices in your daily life
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that make you feel like you now have a clean slate to work with
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and make sure that you come back to them on a daily basis.
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For me personally, it's meditation, writing, and yoga, but it can be anything for you.
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It can be writing, it can be running, it can be working out, but also simply spending time with your loved ones.
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With this, you prevent your stress to accumulate itself until at some point you simply burst, but rather you come back in a daily sequence
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and allow the little amounts of stress that have accumulated themselves to be built away and released.
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And now with that, I do hope that these tips can be of some use to you.
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And of course, there are many more things that I would love to share, but my phone is not having it today.
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I'm running out of storage, so I do hope these tips are enough for now and I'm wishing you a wonderful day wherever you are.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « how to be calm ». Cette vidéo contient 165 phrases et 2787 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 13:24. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 208 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 87 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| emotion nom | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | émotion |
| circumstance nom | /ˈsɝ.kəmˌstæns/ | circonstance |
| distress nom | /dɪˈstɹɛs/ | détresse |
| calmness nom | /ˈkɑ(l)mnəs/ | calme |
| anchor nom | /ˈæŋ.kəː/ | ancre |
| abandon verbe | /əˈbæn.dən/ | abandonner |
| lean verbe | /ˈliːn/ | pencher |
| embody verbe | /ɪmˈbɒdi/ | incarner, personnifier |
| unsafe adjectif | /ʌnˈseɪf/ | dangereux |
| warmth nom | /wɔɹmθ/ | chaleur |
| profound adjectif | /pɹəˈfaʊnd/ | profond |
| frustration nom | /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/ | frustration |
| accumulate verbe | /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/ | accumuler |
| checklist nom | /ˈt͡ʃɛklɪst/ | liste de contrôle |
| linger verbe | /ˈlɪŋɡɚ/ | s'installer, stagner |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| go through verbe | traverser | |
| put down verbe | médire | |
| write down verbe | noter, écrire | |
| get through verbe | /ɡɛt ˈθɹu/ | franchir |
| take away verbe | /ˌteɪk əˈweɪ/ | retirer |
| work out verbe | /ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/ | calculer |
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | is unfazed · be steered · was just constantly exposed |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | you've just put · have processed · has completely abandoned |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | one which was · question, which was · one that will |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 22 contractions et formes réduites, comme I'm, wouldn't, you're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, freshly /ˈfɹɛʃli/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/, meditation /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: accumulate /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/, prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/, undefeatable /ˌʌndəˈfiːtəbəl/, untouchable /ʌnˈtʌtʃəbəl/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: checklist /ˈt͡ʃɛklɪst/, untouchable /ʌnˈtʌtʃəbəl/, untouched /ʌnˈtʌt͡ʃt/, unchanged /ʌnˈt͡ʃeɪnd͡ʒd/, gentle /ˈd͡ʒɛntl̩/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: distress /dɪˈstɹɛs/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/, profound /pɹəˈfaʊnd/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, frustrate /ˈfɹʌsˌtɹeɪt/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme emotion, circumstance, distress.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.