Pratique du Shadowing: The Secret To A Happy Marriage Is... | That Was Us - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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172 phrases
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this last couple's therapy session we had was really kind of groundbreaking ironically the international session
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that we had um uh in in a lot of ways
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that these the marriages on this is us you know involved
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a lot of people turning towards each other being honest
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but it it involved people create instead of asking your partner
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to give you more of something uh i should be creating
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an environment where they're where they are able to do
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that does that make sense like
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if i'm not getting something for my partner yeah maybe it's not their fault maybe it's
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because i have not created a scenario or a situation
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or a feeling where they feel comfortable behaving in that way
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and one of the things there's there's a question in couples therapy
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that that has always kind of haunted me
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which is what does your partner provide you
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that you cannot pay someone to provide for you
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and it's a really kind of existential question right like even even
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when it comes down to to child care or companionship
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or intimacy or whatever it is
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and our last couple's therapy session was i was having an
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existential crisis i'm like what are we doing what are we doing
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why are we married
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and it was i was a bit confronting like i was like tell me do you have an answer to
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that question i don't have an answer to
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that question like we were at a real low point i'm prepared yeah yeah
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but you didn't have an answer to that question
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when we were in the session okay correct right
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because i was trying to yeah i was trying to drop in
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and be like no let's not say a prepared answer let's like yeah and and it was ironic because our therapist
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just said, gave me the answer that was like groundbreaking for me where she said, she said, oh, because you didn't know how to say to Rachel
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that she triggers all of your most foundational traumas while still being able to love you through them.
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Mm.
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Oh, nevermind, I'm good.
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Okay.
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It's that, that one, that, that thing.
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And I was like, see you guys, see you next week.
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It's like, yeah, I didn't know how to, how to say
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that but i think that's only something that you discover i think
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if you're in like a long -term relationship because you're
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and you're doing the work and you're doing the work yeah
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because that's not something
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that i think maybe everyone experienced maybe entry -level stuff that's
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not entry -level stuff yeah like that's that's that's we've been
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in it for a long time you guys you're talking about
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your history like there's a lot there's a lot of layers
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and a lot of comings and goings and you know
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and there's all the cliche things about you know you marry your father
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or you marry your mother or you you know there's all of these like oedipal things
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and what it actually is for us that we've discovered is
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that we've we've we sought each other out
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because there was something familiar in it but we both activate in each other kind of the worst sides of ourselves but then
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but also the best look it's i'm coming around to it
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i'm coming around to it wait for it i'm coming around to it and
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that activation in a loving relationship provides us with the opportunity to heal those parts of ourselves yes yeah yes
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and that's what i saw a lot of in the show yeah you know is is two people presenting something
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that is challenging for them and bouncing it off of their partner
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and being like how can you help me through this how
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can we how can you help me help myself yes right right right right can i say something else about that though
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so no we're all out of time thank you for coming thank you for coming one final thought on that
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um but in terms of you know i think the other thing
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that gets like like we can get caught up been i
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only speak for us is um getting attached to a certain version of our person yeah
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and holding up um you know a reflection of maybe a different person
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or a different version of that person in front of us
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and being like but wait that's who i thought you wait
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but really we're all evolving we're all changing so how can we love
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and appreciate the person we chose 16 years ago
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while also leaving space for
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and being able to see the person in front of us who's changing before our eyes
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and leave space for them to do that yeah
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and not try to make them fit into something
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that makes us more comfortable um so
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that i think is like where we are in our evolution is like realizing
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that i mean with kids you're going to change like holy
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cow talk about triggering you know childhood things traumas it's we're confronted with it every day um and
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And knowing that that's part of the work we're doing here is we're here to heal.
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We're here to heal through them.
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We can reparent ourselves through, you know, the experiences we provide our kids and give that back to ourselves.
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And then how does that change us?
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And how can we take that back to our relationship, our place of home that we want to continue to create together?
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That's beautiful.
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Well said.
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I was just looking at something on IG, talking about three different phases of relationships between the honeymoon,
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and then this part that I think everybody's in, and then what they call the twilight, if you have kids, what have you, in a traditional setting, and the kids are gone and you're there.
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And the honeymoon is, like you were saying, three, six months or whatnot,
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so you never really had even an opportunity to know what things happen once that sort of infatuation phase wears out, right?
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And I think what you're saying, Rach, is like, oh man, how come this didn't last longer?
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How come, like, shouldn't we still be in this or whatnot?
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And you know, realistically, that can't last forever.
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But then there's a part of you that has to mourn what was
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and sort of be present to what is and love the person in front of you.
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You know what I'm saying?
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And that's, some people, you give up.
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Brian and I have been in different places where we'd be like, should we give up?
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Nah, I'm gonna give up.
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And then like, maybe we should give up.
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And Ryan'd be like, nah, I'm not gonna give up.
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But like, it didn't happen at the same time right hallelujah yeah like to
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that extent because that it is tough it's like you used to be like this and
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if you you spend all this time talking about you should
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have would have good then you stop missing like what's what
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do we do right here yeah yeah yeah i also feel like it love
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the kind of level
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that we're talking about um it feels a lot like our relationship to like health
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or or or illness or something where when you're laid out you're you have
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that feeling of like i'm never going to take my healthy body for granted again yeah right
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and and and but then when it's back you're like let's go get drunk
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and like not sleep and like around and um
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and you don't take care of yourself um i mean yeah you know
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or whatever your version of that is um and so sometimes it's
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so easy to be like like you know your your question of like what do they do for you
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that you couldn't pay someone to do and it's and it's wild
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that like the the powers and the confidence and the sense of self
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that you have just from being loved in a way
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that you're not acknowledging is such a profound part of who i imagine we all are um
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and and it's like and when when it's
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when it's at all in the periphery it's
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so easy to lose sight of it yeah
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but the reality is like oh like i feel confident in a conversation
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because she loves me even
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if she's not there i feel proud of what i do in life
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because she loves me even
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if she's not in the room like it all stems back from
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that yeah um and it's
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so it's like unless like my shoulders are being shaken it's
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sometimes really hard to acknowledge yeah that's beautiful you guys want
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to finish these sentences for me okay the secret to a
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happy marriage is there is no secret it's like the noodle
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sauce in in you know kung fu what is it the panda the panda is it just like the noodle
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no
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because then he's like the secret to the the secret is
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there is no secret it's just he shows up every day
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and he makes the noodles and he puts love into the noodles
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and he puts whatever he puts in the noodles
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and everybody thinks they're so delicious and that there's a secret
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but there really is no secret other than every day he
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makes the noodles i knew we were going to get kung fu panda that's good
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that goes back to what you were saying about like that
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that phrase that we've all heard a lot of do the work
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because whenever i hear
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that i'm always like wait what's the work i don't know what the work is everyone says
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that and i don't know what it is we're not doing it
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there was homework um and the reality is is because they're like
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that of course there's work but what
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that is for for each couple is its own thing
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and like what works what that work is for you guys
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and for you guys
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and for us are not going to line up i think
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a large part of well as you as you're speaking
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that out loud the first thing
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that i thought about in terms of work is the work of forgiveness
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and i feel like no relationship whether it is romantic or platonic can exist without
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forgiveness because every once in a while people are going to do things
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that trigger you that make you upset or frustrated or whatnot
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and like how quickly you can do it um really sort
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of like does speak to the health of the relationship of whatever nature we're talking about
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because i can tell you there are times earlier in our
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relationship where a few days would go by now where a few hours go by
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and so we've both sort of like all right we don't have to hold on our egos are not
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so fragile or whatnot that we can like lay
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that down in front of you
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and be like listen i want to be on the other side of this thing yeah so like I forgive you.
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I hope you forgive me.
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I apologize.
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That sort of thing is...
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I look forward to the opportunities, and I mean that in a holistic sense
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because I don't actually like the feeling of being angry or frustrated or her being angry or frustrated with me,
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but I do enjoy what repair feels like when it is successful.
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Yes.
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You know what I'm saying?
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It is like, oh, we made it.
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Thank you, Bird!
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Yes!
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette vidéo contient 172 phrases et 1961 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 10:35. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 185 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 89 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
15 mots moins courants de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
- trigger /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/ (nom) — détente, gâchette. A finger-operated lever used to fire a gun.
- heal /ˈhiːl/ (verbe) — guérir, assainir. To make better from a disease, wound, etc.; to revive or cure.
- marry /ˈmæɹi/ (verbe) — se marier, épouser. To enter into the conjugal or connubial state; to take a husband or a wife.
- discover /dɪˈskʌvə/ (verbe) — découvrir. To find or learn something for the first time.
- forgive /fɚˈɡɪv/ (verbe) — pardonner. To pardon (someone); to waive any negative feeling towards or desire for punishment or retribution against.
- acknowledge /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/ (verbe) — reconnaître. To admit the knowledge of; to recognize as a fact or truth; to declare one's belief in.
- trauma /ˈtɹɔm.ə/ (nom) — traumatisme, trauma. Any injury to the body of a living thing.
- forgiveness /fɚˈɡɪvnəs/ (nom) — pardon. The action of forgiving.
- confront /kənˈfɹʌnt/ (verbe) — confronter. To stand or meet facing, especially in competition, hostility or defiance; to come face to face with.
- honeymoon /ˈhʌn.iˌmuːn/ (nom) — lune de miel. The period of time immediately following a marriage.
- extent /ɪkˈstɛnt/ (nom) — mesure. A range of values or locations.
- romantic /ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/ (adjectif) — romantique. Fantastic, unrealistic (of an idea etc.); fanciful, sentimental, impractical (of a person).
- evolution /ˌiːvəˈluːʃ(ə)n/ (nom) — évolution. A manoeuvre of troops or ships.
- illness /ˈɪl.nəs/ (nom) — maladie. An instance (episode) of a disease or poor health.
- repair /ˈɹiːpɛɚ/ (verbe) — réparer. To restore to good working order, fix, or improve damaged condition; to mend; to remedy.
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
- give up (verbe) — se rendre. To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone).
- go by (verbe) — passer, ignorer. To pass or go past without much interaction.
- do in (verbe) — tuer, zigouiller. To kill or end; to defeat.
- hold on (verbe) — s'accrocher. To grasp or grip firmly.
- hold up (verbe) — retenir. To wait or delay.
- look at (verbe) — regarder. To observe or watch.
- look forward to (verbe) — avoir hâte de, attendre avec impatience. To anticipate, expect, or wait for, especially with a feeling of approval or pleasure; to be excited or eager to.
- put in (verbe) — mettre, insérer. To place inside.
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 63 contractions et formes réduites, comme I'm, you're, we're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: evolution /ˌiːvəˈluːʃ(ə)n/, delicious /dɪˈlɪ.ʃəs/, shake /ˈʃeɪk/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, activation /ˌæktəˈveɪʃən/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: evolution /ˌiːvəˈluːʃ(ə)n/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, activation /ˌæktəˈveɪʃən/, ironically /aɪˈɹɑnɪkli/, intimacy /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme trigger, heal, marry.
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | have not created · we've been · we've discovered |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | being loved · being shaken |
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.