Pratique du Shadowing: Why You Feel Lost When Your Life Is Actually Fine - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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294 phrases
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Today we have to talk about when nothing in your life is technically wrong, but you feel lost.
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You feel like something is shifting.
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So I think that you probably can't even make any sense of at this stage.
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Look, many of you know that I have been going through a major, major life transition in the last three years.
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And frankly, it has felt a bit like a midlife crisis, even though I'm only 40, I know, but one can still have a midlife crisis, believe it or not.
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I've decided to report live from this at times very miserable place to be in
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and a lot of the things that I'm experiencing are very fresh
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so I'm doing some content about it I'm calling it the starting over series I've already made a few videos
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so go check them out afterwards if you haven't
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but so today I want to talk to you about this very strange initial stage
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that happens before perhaps a midlife crisis emerge
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or a life transition emerge you know the phase
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when we are starting to feel something shift inside us
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and we're like what is this like why is this even
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happening i mean i don't even understand what this is about
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because my life is great i don't have any problems
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or i don't have any serious things like why would i start feeling different about my life
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when it's when it's working perfectly fine but
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so i want to talk to you about about
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that first initial horrible stage
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because ladies i was actually stuck in mine for a long period of time
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because i had no idea what was happening i wish i
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had this video then now look we're also going to be talking about
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when is it just a phase and when is it a major life change emerging within you
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or need for a life change like we're going to talk about
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that as well but before i want to really go into like the first initial things
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that are going to happen to you in case they're already happening
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and you're like what is this you know i want to
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be why am i like this i don't want to be
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like this you know i want to be normal don't worry
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that's perfectly normal in the situation to think one thing
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that i want you to know is that oftentimes before these big life changes
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or life shifts happen you are going to experience usually an internal shift before meaning
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that you're not going to have like a major breakdown happen one day
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and so that's why you start thinking about your life i mean it may happen
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but usually it starts very quietly and subtly inside yourself okay
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so you might not just one day wake up
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and you want to burn down your life you might not
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one day be like oh i'm having a major crisis this
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is it you know how it oftentimes feel for many people is
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that initially they just are feeling like something is a little bit off okay not
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because something has happened not because there is a crisis
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or a sudden urge remember just some different feelings maybe some different thoughts unusual thoughts you're having um
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and i think in the beginning a lot of people spend
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a lot of time just trying to make sense of what
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this shift is about like what these thoughts are about like what why am i having these emotions
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and and how come i'm feeling like this now one thing i want you to know is
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that a lot of people they of course they they enter some form of big life transition
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or even midlife crisis or whatever right because of some external event
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that kind of triggers it all and acts like a catalyst
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and that usually is actually a little bit easier almost even
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if it can be incredibly painful
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because you're not in control over these over this change it has been forced upon you
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that change but at least you know you have a story
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that explains your state of mind
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because let's say your husband wants a divorce okay you can be like okay well I'm feeling like crap today
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because I'm experiencing grief overwhelm this and
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that you know it's very difficult this transition because of this divorce
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and so when you're talking to people
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when you're you know understanding your own self
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and how to move forward there is some form of navigation
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because you have a story to tie your feelings to but
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if you are initiating a transition yourself oftentimes it is
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because you have these first feeling emerge within you
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and they oftentimes don't really carry a story okay they might be connected to something specific
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that has happened true
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but oftentimes they don't oftentimes you just feel different you feel
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weird you feel lost you feel numb you feel less excited you feel a bunch of different things
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and you might not understand why you are feeling these things.
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So the point that I'm trying to make is
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that it becomes very hard to justify whatever you are experiencing
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and to make sense of it all because it doesn't carry a story.
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Gosh, I hope you're understanding what I mean.
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But for me personally, this has been a very, very, very difficult stage to be in.
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And so when the internal life is shifting okay you're starting to change a little bit inside
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but the external life like your regular life in terms of
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like your day-to-day your goals your ambitions you know your mindset your values like everything is operating as per normal
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but your internal self is shifting there's it's almost like it becomes like a mismatch
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and that is what causes this feeling of disorientation of feeling lost confused
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because inside you are kind of moving towards something else
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but on the outside you're operating as per normal like in
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the old self you know in my case I must tell you ladies I had no idea
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that I was going through a major transition in my life until much later.
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I just thought like okay well I guess I'm just you know thinking a bit differently now you know
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or just I feel a bit different.
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I had no idea
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that what I was actually experiencing was like a midlife crisis type of thing
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or let's call it more like identity shift and life transition because I didn't even have those labels.
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I was actually stuck for a very very long period of time not really understanding what was happening
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because I was like okay I know something is shifting but I have no idea what this is
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and this is by the way one of the reasons to why I'm making this starting over serious
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because we have to just make sense of it all that's
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sometimes the only way of how to be to get unstuck
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and move forward like when you get clarity you know another thing that personally happened to me was that
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I started experiencing a lot of guilt.
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And the guilt is apparently very common, especially for us people who live in Western countries, because a lot of people,
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let's say, again, as of maybe their mid or late 30s, up until who knows what age,
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might start feeling like, wow, I'm feeling misaligned somehow.
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I'm not into this as before.
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I feel different.
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I want to make changes.
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But then you're like, but why do I want to make these changes?
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I mean, my life is great.
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I worked so hard to achieve these things.
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I have no reason to complain.
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I mean, look at other people.
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I mean, they would love to be in my situations or look at other people.
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They have real problems.
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I feel like I'm inventing problems to myself at this stage because my life is fine.
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I should just be grateful and carry on.
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And that, let me tell you, creates loads of guilt.
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You start feeling guilty because you have a bunch of good things in your life.
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But now, let's say you want something different.
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And you know what I have learned in the midst of all of this?
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Two things can really be true at once.
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I mean, it sounds a bit like a cliche and maybe it is,
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but I've noticed how you can absolutely be grateful and feel incredibly privileged about your life,
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but you can still be having valid feelings of misalignment.
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Gratitude and misalignment can coexist together at the same time.
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You can still feel so grateful for what you have and so misaligned at the same time.
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That took me a long time before I fully understood that that was okay to feel, okay?
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And I think a lot of people really do get stuck in the initial stages because they feel incredibly guilty, you know, and they might even experience high levels of shame.
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And so you might start feeling like, okay, I shouldn't be having these feelings.
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So you might even start rejecting those feelings and that's not necessarily good
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because you do want to allow yourself to feel what you truly feel
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and listen to yourself you know in the midst of that
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because in the end maybe that voice inside you is trying to tell you something
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that is worth listening to and maybe eventually you start actually making some life changes because of that voice
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life changes that are necessary for you to make.
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Another feeling of shame that I think happens as well is that when you are experiencing a lot of internal shifts,
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they act a bit like invisible problems, okay?
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Again, you might feel guilty like, oh, am I making up these invisible problems to myself?
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Invisible problems feels in a way harder to talk to people about or even voicing, even sometimes to yourself people are asking you how are you
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you're saying well you know what i've been maybe experiencing some depression
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or a big feeling really off um i can't really explain what it is
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and so then people start like okay
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but is everything okay in your life you know
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and people try to kind of make sense of it like is your work okay is your relationship okay has something happened, you know, and you're there like,
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well, kind of nothing has happened, you know.
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But so why this becomes an issue is because when something
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so internal is happening and you can't really make sense of it all and give a story to people about,
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it almost makes it feel a bit isolating
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because it's hard to talk about something where even you don't understand what's happening you just know something is off
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and that's it you can't explain it more than that
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and it almost feels easier not to talk to people about it
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because a you might not want to worry people you know
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and B there isn't that much to add because obviously people will want to know more and so on.
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So in my case as an example I've kind of kept a lot of this to myself
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and I'm not saying that's what you should be doing by the way
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because I think it always does help to to share you know your burdens with others
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but I don't know it has been so incredibly isolating to carry this
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and to try to explain it to people
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and a few people will understand unless they have really experience it themselves you know
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and in my particular case as well just as like a little side note
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because you know I do make content about things
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that I learn in life things that I experience
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and I love being authentic here with you
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but even I have struggled to talk about in great detail about what I am experiencing
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because I mean I've been thinking to myself like my goodness this sounds
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so unrelatable I mean people are going to look at me and be like okay she has leveled up her life.
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Her life is fine.
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Why is she complaining?
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It's like she's making stuff up just to have luxury problems almost.
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And that's what I mean, you know, when I say that a lot of people in Western countries do start feeling these things at some point.
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And yeah, they will feel quite isolated because you have it so good.
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Why are you complaining?
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Why are you inventing problems for yourself when there are others who have it much, much worse than you?
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Why do you not want to change your life or turn it upside down when you don't have to.
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But so how do we know when something is just a phase
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or a thunk or whether we should really be taking those feelings seriously
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and listen to what our internal self is telling us?
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Like how do we know the difference between a phase and reality, I guess?
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Now look, I first and foremost want to tell you
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and a little disclaimer at the same time
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that obviously nothing is ever set in stone
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and I don't want to be sitting here influencing you to
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to make some really big life changes I'm just here sharing kind of what I have experienced
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and my thoughts around it
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and as well what I've seen among my my research into this topic first
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and foremost I want to say that if something used to energize you
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but now feels more like is draining you not
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because something is necessarily bad or you have changed your opinion about something
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but it can simply be
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because okay you have grown out of something it might belong to an older version of you
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and i would also say similarly you know
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when your goals no longer feels like they create excitement
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because we all always have goals in our lives right like me as an example i used to have
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so many level up goals
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but then one day i was like i'm not really i
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don't really care for this goal anymore you know this goal
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doesn't give me anything i don't get like any excitement anymore from this
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or whatever it used to give me it might really feel like
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that emotional charge is gone i used to really really love
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a lot to do with like the finer things in life
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and luxury and things like that and even though i still like you know
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that to a certain extent i was so much more into
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that side of life before
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because i used to get like i don't know some form of like big level excitement around all of that
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but then one day i was like huh i don't feel
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it's exciting as it used to be i feel like other things are exciting me more now
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and that was like a very good sign
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that okay maybe I am growing out of something you know shifting interest somehow now
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if you're also starting to kind of fantasize about something completely different in your life
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I had it a lot with like simplifying my life changing direction
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or starting over sometimes even disappearing I was like oh what will happen
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if I would just like completely disappear from I I don't know, YouTube or the social circles or whatever, right?
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And so, yeah, you don't necessarily have to act entirely on those fantasies.
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But I think when you really start thinking deeply about what if I really live differently than what I am doing today,
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and you are imagining how that would look like and you're maybe even getting a little bit excited about that potential reality.
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I started having a major shift about how I just wanted a more kind of nature style of life.
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I always used to associate that life a little bit negatively.
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I don't know why it's just my own stupid thing in my head, but like, I'm like, but, oh, but I'm not the kind of, you know, granola eating hippie,
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you know, that's still not my type and nothing wrong with that type, But, you know, it's just so different to me, which is more, I guess,
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you know, a girl who likes the finer things in life and aesthetics and that kind of thing.
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But I do think in my soul, I must be that a granola eating hippie
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because I am maybe drawn to a lot of those things like nature
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and slower type of lifestyle and I don't know growing your own food
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or something you know I am drawn to those things and
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so I started to have a lot of these new interests pop up in my life
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and I was like why am I interested in how to
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manage your own land how to drive a tractor you know
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I don't know I'm like I used to be interested in Hermes bags
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and now I want to learn how to drive a tractor you know
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but that's the thing sometimes it is a little bit like
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that and you might not even take yourself seriously I certainly did not take myself seriously
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but I think it's important to listen to what
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that voice tells you another subtle sign might be
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when you start feeling really detached from the identity
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that people associate you with because of course people see one version of you perhaps
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but inside of yourself you might already in a sub on
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a subconscious level be associating yourself very differently i had
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that as well you know especially i think a lot of people who maybe know me more as an acquaintance
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or a friend a lot of people are like oh well anna you're
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so nice and elegant and you know you like
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that whole elegant thing and i was like yeah but that's actually
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so not the entire side of me
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and i started to feel like yeah that's true there is a side of me who still likes
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that but actually i don't really feel like the elegant identity is is accurate for me anymore i don't know
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and so that usually says that okay you might internally growing somewhere else
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but your external hasn't yet caught up you know please do
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know whatever i am mentioning it does sound like you might already be kind of understanding what you want
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but i do know
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that in the very very early stages you might oftentimes know what you don't want
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but you have no idea what you actually want okay
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so this new version of yourself has not really emerged yet
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you just kind of know what you are done with and
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so that is also very important to to know
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that no need to put pressure on yourself to know what
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you should be doing what you should be wanting what kind
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of identity you should be having what kind of lifestyle you
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should be living etc now these are just a few samples
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of you know some subtle signs I would say there are probably
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so many more but one thing is for sure
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and this is what I personally did
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when I started to feel like I was having a yeah
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a change of heart emerge within me my first instinct
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which really proved to be right was
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that I was like okay you know what let me do a time test
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because I need to know is this just a phase or is this kind of
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i guess my new reality you know um
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so i let this rest for about six months i'm not
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saying you have to let it rest for six months maybe you need less time than
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that but for sure
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that can give you some clarity whether you know this is just a funk
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or not sometimes you might even need to take some specific
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action maybe you need to go on a holiday maybe you
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need to take proper rest maybe you need to fix certain
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problems in your life to see okay is this really a new version of you emerging
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or were you just tired
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or did you just need a break you know listen ladies i want you to know
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that if you are in a confused place it is oftentimes the first sign
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that maybe this is the beginning of a transition i'm not saying it is i'm not making any claims here
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but confusion is oftentimes
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a very good tell and that is
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because the old is now losing its grip on you
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or losing authority in your life but the new has not yet found its direction
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so you are there kind of i don't know figuring things out
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and therefore you are quite confused
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so start listening to whatever your voice is telling you i'm not saying go up
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and blow up your life today no and please do not panic either
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because i know that
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if you are going to embark on a transition it can
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feel like quite an uphill it certainly have been like
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that for me but i want you to know
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that even in the darkest hour it has still been been
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so worth it even if i'm not yet out on on the other side yet completely
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but i do know that living in alignment is ultimately what's going to always bring you the most happiness in life, the most peace.
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And so even if it's going to be a little bit painful at times to get to that alignment, or you have to take some difficult decision or decisions, or you have to, you know,
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turn your life upside down for some time, in the end, I believe that it's going to be worth it.
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I really do believe it.
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Living authentically and living in alignment, I don't know, I really feel like this is the feeling, the ultimate feeling of freedom.
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And I think we all want to be in that state of equilibrium, I guess, where we feel this is what we truly want to do in life.
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This is truly how we want to live.
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And so I think everything is worth it to get there.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « Why You Feel Lost When Your Life Is Actually Fine ». Cette vidéo contient 294 phrases et 3745 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 21:59. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 170 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 87 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| oftentimes adverbe | /ˈɔf.ənˌtaɪmz/ | souventesfois, souventefois |
| emerge verbe | /ɪˈmɝd͡ʒ/ | émerger |
| isolate verbe | /ˈaɪ.sə.leɪt/ | isoler, esseuler |
| alignment nom | /əˈlaɪn.mənt/ | alignement |
| elegant adjectif | /ˈɛləɡənt/ | élégant |
| invisible adjectif | /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/ | invisible |
| guilt nom | /ɡɪlt/ | culpabilité |
| excitement nom | /ɪkˈsaɪtmənt/ | excitation |
| excite verbe | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | exciter |
| granola nom | /ɡɹəˈnoʊlə/ | granola |
| misalignment nom | mauvais alignement | |
| amidst | /aˈmɪdst/ | au milieu de, entre |
| invent verbe | /ɪnˈvɛnt/ | inventer |
| tractor nom | /ˈtɹæktɚ/ | tracteur |
| clarity nom | /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/ | clarté |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| start over verbe | recommencer | |
| go through verbe | traverser | |
| blow up verbe | faire sauter | |
| burn down verbe | carboniser | |
| go up verbe | monter, s'élever | |
| make up verbe | /ˌmeɪk ˈʌp/ | constituer, composer |
| wake up verbe | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | se réveiller |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- Gosh, I hope you're understanding what I mean.
- I'm not into this as before.
- Why are you complaining?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| « Used to » used to + verbe — une habitude ou un état passé qui n’est plus vrai | used to have · used to give · used to really really |
| Present perfect continu have/has been + -ing — une action commencée avant et toujours en cours | have been going · I've been thinking |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | has felt · I've decided · I've already made |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | has been forced · might be connected · is ever set |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 87 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, I'm, you're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: aesthetics /ɛsˈθɛt.ɪks/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: cliché /kliˈʃeɪ/, disorientation /dɪsˌɔ.ɹi.ɪnˈteɪ.ʃn̩/, subconscious /sʌbˈkɑn.ʃəs/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: invisible /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/, disorientation /dɪsˌɔ.ɹi.ɪnˈteɪ.ʃn̩/, equilibrium /ɛkwɪˈlɪbɹɪəm/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/, internally /ɪnˈtɜːnəli/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: emerge /ɪˈmɝd͡ʒ/, detach /dɪˈtæt͡ʃ/, energize /ˈɛnəd͡ʒaɪz/, mismatch /ˈmɪs.mæt͡ʃ/, urge /ɜːd͡ʒ/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: granola /ɡɹəˈnoʊlə/, tractor /ˈtɹæktɚ/, clarity /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/, disappear /dɪsəˈpɪɹ/, disorientation /dɪsˌɔ.ɹi.ɪnˈteɪ.ʃn̩/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme oftentimes, emerge, isolate.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.