Shadowing Practice: 5 Ways to Use Charisma for Standout First Impressions - Learn English Speaking with Video
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I want you to think back to your first day at work.
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You just stepped into unfamiliar territory, and meeting and greeting unfamiliar faces who were about to be your colleagues.
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You're the new face and people are going to notice and maybe even talk.
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As you absorb your new surroundings desperately trying to remember the next name and title,
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you can be forgiven for overlooking one very important process happening within you and around you.
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A process so important that it can set the tone of how well you're received by your colleagues.
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And yes, you guessed it, first impressions.
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The human version of dogs meeting at a park for the very first time.
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Okay, in principle it's a bit more sophisticated than that, and thankfully without the sniffing.
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First impressions are subconscious conclusions
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that people make based on how they feel about a person they meet the first time they meet them.
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And here's the thing, they happen fast, very fast.
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Neuroscience research published in the Journal of Psychological Science
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found that it takes just a tenth of a second to make a first impression.
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In other words, our brains process what we see, hear, touch, or even smell in the form of facial expressions,
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physical attributes, spoken words, tone, body language, the sensation of a handshake, and even the smell of a perfume.
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All of this data is processed in association with memories, emotional associations to those memories, our current emotional and physiological state,
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and voila, just like that, in less than the blink of an eye, a first impression is established.
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Impressive.
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Not only that, first impressions really matter, especially in the world of business.
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First impression bias is a real thing, and trying to recover from a mediocre first impression can be really tough, because everything you say and do following on from
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that first impression is impacted by whatever conclusions or assumptions the person has drawn about you.
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Needless to say, this bias could unfairly undermine the progress of your career.
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So how do you make a lasting positive first impression without any fake charisma?
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The truth is, humans are complex and highly subjective creatures.
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So the best we can do is to act in a way
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that increases the odds of other people warming up to us.
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And the thing with charisma and likability is that they aren't based on how intelligent, extroverted, or talkative you are.
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They're actually about the way you carry yourself, how you communicate, and how your behavior influences others' feelings.
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In this episode, I'm going to go through five science-backed tips you need to
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know to boost your chances of making a really strong first impression through your innate charisma.
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And the benefit here isn't selfishly just for you.
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Exuding a positive presence can create a more collaborative work environment.
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Because we are social creatures after all, and our true genius comes from our ability to unite in leveraging our diversity.
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Now, charisma has been described as your compelling attractiveness, your presence, your magnetism.
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Basically, it's that unspoken quality that you have to influence people, and it plays a huge role in first impressions.
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So let's dive into the five essential tips, which I call WC and the four Ps.
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So first is WC, demonstrate warmth and back it up with competence.
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Harvard researchers found that people have a tendency to judge you very quickly based on two things, how warm you come across and how competent you appear.
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It's called the stereotype content model.
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According to the model, if you can portray yourself as being warm, for example, non-competitive and friendly, people will feel like they can trust you.
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Then, if you also seem competent, for example, you're confident, you have conviction in what you're saying, and you seem to know what you're talking about,
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people are more likely to respect you.
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According to the researchers, it's more important to show genuine warmth first, and then competence, especially at work.
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Why?
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Well, because from an evolutionary perspective, it's more important to survival to know whether you can trust someone, and they're not going to kill you in your sleep, rather than whether they're good at hunting.
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So this first tip is to start with warmth.
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Okay, so you might be wondering, what does warmth look like at work?
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Some seem to believe that being warm means being overly nice, being a people pleaser, but this really just puts you at risk of being taken advantage of.
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In a professional setting, warmth is quite specific, and I'll explain what I mean by this in the next tip.
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And before I do that, this first tip is all around demonstrating warmth, which is also an essential part of a first impression.
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Think about when you meet someone for the first time, what do you normally notice first?
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Aside from superficial factors like height and what they're wearing, it's usually the person's face, their profile.
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And your face is the first indicator of warmth.
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Warm people, who are also confident, are more likely to maintain eye contact with those they're speaking to.
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It shows that they're attentive and really present with the person.
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Maintaining eye contact during your conversation is critical to how you'll be viewed.
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It makes you appear more confident, more self-assured, and people are more likely to remember both you and your words.
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The second part here is your smile.
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Smiling has been shown to be a psychological signal of altruism and can make a really lasting impression.
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A warm, genuine smile conveys that you're approachable and personable and people are more likely to trust you.
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What else can you do to create a really strong first impression?
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Use what I call the 3SP, the 3 second pause.
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This is a really overlooked tip, yet it shows in research to convey confidence and charm.
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So how does it work?
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Well, before you respond to something, you want a count of three in your head before you speak.
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Now, these aren't super long, drawn-out counts, just one, two, three, and then you reply.
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A good way to remember is to use that time to actually take a breath.
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Being more considered in your responses by using pauses has also been found to create a friendlier
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and a warmer atmosphere for heart-to-heart conversations, or when you want to encourage trust.
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It's also great because it avoids that awkward moment when someone wasn't finished speaking, so you accidentally cut them off.
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Aw, sorry, you go.
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No, no, no, you finish.
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Awkward.
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Pausing as you speak can also be really impactful, especially right before an important point that you want to make.
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So an important one to remember, 3 SP, the three-second pause.
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Another brilliant way to demonstrate warmth is to find something in parallel with the person, something you have in common.
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Commonality drives connection.
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So when meeting someone new, try to find something in common with them.
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It doesn't even have to be something profound.
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It could be that you were both born overseas
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or you used to work for the same company previously the
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goal is to connect on an authentic human level now it might mean
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that you need to do some linkedin stalking
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or some detective work through an internet search but it really works wonders
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if you can find a commonality with that person it instantly relaxes them
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and you and they're more likely to remember you afterwards because of something called the halo effect
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This is where the positive feelings the person has about whatever you have in common can influence how they feel about you.
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Remember, make other people feel valuable and you become valuable.
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And the final P is proximity.
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The fact is we tend to develop more of a liking for something if it's familiar to us.
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It's called the mere exposure effect or the familiarity effect in psychology.
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And while it's used a lot in sales and marketing strategies, it also applies to people.
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Now, admittedly, this is less about a first impression and more about a longer lasting impression, but I still wanted to include it.
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Next time you want to get someone new in your life to like you more, spend more time around them, be around them more, sit near them,
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interact with them, even if you let them do all the talking and you just listen.
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It will increase the familiarity, connection and closeness between you, and they'll be more likely to have a positive perception of you.
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So there you have it, WC and the 4 Ps, the essential tips you need to make a strong first impression with Charisma.
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Now, it's also worth mentioning that you want to make sure you're still being authentic.
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We've all had an experience where you meet someone for the first time, and they're trying way too hard to impress you.
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You can tell they're saying what they think you want them to say, and it just doesn't seem genuine, and it really comes across as insecure.
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So your aim shouldn't be to wow someone with your skills and experience, but actually to create a sincere conversation that's memorable and engaging.
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Be yourself and don't worry about how you're being perceived in the moment.
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Just be authentic and true to you.
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I'm Sade Zorai, I'll see you next time.
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אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה
שיעור הדיבור הזה ברמה B2 מבוסס על הסרטון “5 Ways to Use Charisma for Standout First Impressions”. המילים שחוזרות הכי הרבה: impression, warmth, tip, likely. בסרטון הזה יש 106 משפטים ו-1569 מילים לתרגול Shadowing. הדיבור נמשך 8:40. הדובר מדבר מהר, כ-181 מילים בדקה, אז צפו לצלילים מחוברים ומקוצרים. 83% מהמילים נמצאות בין 3,000 המילים הנפוצות ביותר באנגלית; כדאי ללמוד את השאר לפני שמתחילים.
אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה
15 המילים המתקדמות ביותר בסרטון, עם ההגייה והמשמעות שלהן:
| מילה | הגייה | משמעות |
|---|---|---|
| charisma שם עצם | /kəˈɹɪzmə/ | כריזמה |
| pause שם עצם | /pɔːz/ | אתנח |
| authentic שם תואר | /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/ | אוֹתֶנְטִי |
| demonstrate פועל | /ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/ | הפגין |
| familiarity שם עצם | /fəmɪliˈæɹɪti/ | קרבה, היכרות קרובה |
| competence שם עצם | /ˈkɑm.pə.təns/ | יכולת, סמכות |
| convey פועל | /kənˈveɪ/ | הוביל, העביר |
| colleague שם עצם | /ˈkɒliːɡ/ | עָמִית, עמיתה |
| bias שם עצם | /ˈbaɪ.əs/ | נטייה, הטיה |
| closeness שם עצם | /ˈkloʊs.nəs/ | קִרְבָה |
| handshake שם עצם | /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/ | לְחִיצַת יָד |
| innate שם תואר | /ɪˈneɪt/ | מוּלָד |
| magnetism שם עצם | /ˈmæɡ.nəˌtɪz.əm/ | מַגְנֵטִיּוּת |
| stereotype שם עצם | /ˈstɛ.ɹi.əˌtaɪp/ | סְטֵרֵאוֹטִיפּ, סטריאוטיפ |
| talkative שם תואר | /ˈtɔ.kə.ɾɪv/ | דברן, פטפטן |
דקדוק בסרטון הזה
המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:
| מבנה | בסרטון |
|---|---|
| סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה | can be forgiven · is processed · is established |
| הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו | has drawn · has been described · has been shown |
הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה
הדובר משתמש ב-32 קיצורים וצורות מקוצרות, כמו they're, you're, aren't. אמרו אותם בצורה הקצרה, כפי שאתם שומעים אותם.
- הצלילים של “th”: warmth /wɔɹmθ/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, tenth /tɛnθ/
- הצלילים של “sh” ו-“zh”: handshake /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/, subconscious /sʌbˈkɑn.ʃəs/, superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, evolutionary /ˌiː.vəˈluː.ʃən.ɛɹ.i/, sensation /sɛnˈseɪʃən/
- מילים ארוכות — שימו לב להטעמה: commonality /ˌkɑ.məˈnæl.ə.ti/, familiarity /fəmɪliˈæɹɪti/, unfamiliar /ˌʌnfəˈmɪli.ə(ɹ)/, altruism /ˈæl.tɹu.ɪz.əm/, approachable /əˈpɹəʊ.t͡ʃə.bəl/
צלילים שדוברי עברית מתקשים בהם:
- /æ/ — פתוח יותר מה-“אֶ” העברית, לא כמו “a” ב-“cup”: commonality /ˌkɑ.məˈnæl.ə.ti/, familiarity /fəmɪliˈæɹɪti/, altruism /ˈæl.tɹu.ɪz.əm/, handshake /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/, impactful /ˈɪmpæktfəl/
- /r/ — הלשון לא נוגעת בשום מקום, לא ה-“ר” הגרונית: warmth /wɔɹmθ/, charisma /kəˈɹɪzmə/, demonstrate /ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/, familiarity /fəmɪliˈæɹɪti/, unfamiliar /ˌʌnfəˈmɪli.ə(ɹ)/
- עיצור קולי בסוף מילה — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ בלי להפוך אותם לאטומים: pause /pɔːz/, colleague /ˈkɒliːɡ/, attentive /əˈtɛntɪv/, extroverted /ˈɛkstɹəˌvəɹtɪd/, introverted /ˈɪn.tɹəˌvɜːɹ.təd/
איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה
- הקשיבו לכל הסרטון פעם אחת בלי לדבר, ורשמו את המילים שאתם לא מכירים.
- התחילו במהירות 0.75×, תרגלו Shadowing משפט אחר משפט, וחזרו למהירות רגילה כשזה מרגיש קל.
- הקליטו את עצמכם והשוו למקור, תוך תשומת לב למילים כמו charisma, pause, authentic.
מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?
שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.