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I want you to think back to your first day at work.
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You just stepped into unfamiliar territory, and meeting and greeting unfamiliar faces who were about to be your colleagues.
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You're the new face and people are going to notice and maybe even talk.
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As you absorb your new surroundings desperately trying to remember the next name and title,
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you can be forgiven for overlooking one very important process happening within you and around you.
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A process so important that it can set the tone of how well you're received by your colleagues.
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And yes, you guessed it, first impressions.
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The human version of dogs meeting at a park for the very first time.
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Okay, in principle it's a bit more sophisticated than that, and thankfully without the sniffing.
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First impressions are subconscious conclusions
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that people make based on how they feel about a person they meet the first time they meet them.
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And here's the thing, they happen fast, very fast.
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Neuroscience research published in the Journal of Psychological Science
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found that it takes just a tenth of a second to make a first impression.
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In other words, our brains process what we see, hear, touch, or even smell in the form of facial expressions,
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physical attributes, spoken words, tone, body language, the sensation of a handshake, and even the smell of a perfume.
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All of this data is processed in association with memories, emotional associations to those memories, our current emotional and physiological state,
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and voila, just like that, in less than the blink of an eye, a first impression is established.
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Impressive.
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Not only that, first impressions really matter, especially in the world of business.
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First impression bias is a real thing, and trying to recover from a mediocre first impression can be really tough, because everything you say and do following on from
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that first impression is impacted by whatever conclusions or assumptions the person has drawn about you.
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Needless to say, this bias could unfairly undermine the progress of your career.
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So how do you make a lasting positive first impression without any fake charisma?
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The truth is, humans are complex and highly subjective creatures.
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So the best we can do is to act in a way
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that increases the odds of other people warming up to us.
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And the thing with charisma and likability is that they aren't based on how intelligent, extroverted, or talkative you are.
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They're actually about the way you carry yourself, how you communicate, and how your behavior influences others' feelings.
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In this episode, I'm going to go through five science-backed tips you need to
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know to boost your chances of making a really strong first impression through your innate charisma.
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And the benefit here isn't selfishly just for you.
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Exuding a positive presence can create a more collaborative work environment.
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Because we are social creatures after all, and our true genius comes from our ability to unite in leveraging our diversity.
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Now, charisma has been described as your compelling attractiveness, your presence, your magnetism.
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Basically, it's that unspoken quality that you have to influence people, and it plays a huge role in first impressions.
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So let's dive into the five essential tips, which I call WC and the four Ps.
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So first is WC, demonstrate warmth and back it up with competence.
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Harvard researchers found that people have a tendency to judge you very quickly based on two things, how warm you come across and how competent you appear.
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It's called the stereotype content model.
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According to the model, if you can portray yourself as being warm, for example, non-competitive and friendly, people will feel like they can trust you.
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Then, if you also seem competent, for example, you're confident, you have conviction in what you're saying, and you seem to know what you're talking about,
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people are more likely to respect you.
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According to the researchers, it's more important to show genuine warmth first, and then competence, especially at work.
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Why?
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Well, because from an evolutionary perspective, it's more important to survival to know whether you can trust someone, and they're not going to kill you in your sleep, rather than whether they're good at hunting.
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So this first tip is to start with warmth.
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Okay, so you might be wondering, what does warmth look like at work?
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Some seem to believe that being warm means being overly nice, being a people pleaser, but this really just puts you at risk of being taken advantage of.
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In a professional setting, warmth is quite specific, and I'll explain what I mean by this in the next tip.
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And before I do that, this first tip is all around demonstrating warmth, which is also an essential part of a first impression.
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Think about when you meet someone for the first time, what do you normally notice first?
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Aside from superficial factors like height and what they're wearing, it's usually the person's face, their profile.
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And your face is the first indicator of warmth.
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Warm people, who are also confident, are more likely to maintain eye contact with those they're speaking to.
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It shows that they're attentive and really present with the person.
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Maintaining eye contact during your conversation is critical to how you'll be viewed.
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It makes you appear more confident, more self-assured, and people are more likely to remember both you and your words.
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The second part here is your smile.
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Smiling has been shown to be a psychological signal of altruism and can make a really lasting impression.
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A warm, genuine smile conveys that you're approachable and personable and people are more likely to trust you.
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What else can you do to create a really strong first impression?
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Use what I call the 3SP, the 3 second pause.
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This is a really overlooked tip, yet it shows in research to convey confidence and charm.
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So how does it work?
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Well, before you respond to something, you want a count of three in your head before you speak.
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Now, these aren't super long, drawn-out counts, just one, two, three, and then you reply.
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A good way to remember is to use that time to actually take a breath.
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Being more considered in your responses by using pauses has also been found to create a friendlier
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and a warmer atmosphere for heart-to-heart conversations, or when you want to encourage trust.
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It's also great because it avoids that awkward moment when someone wasn't finished speaking, so you accidentally cut them off.
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Aw, sorry, you go.
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No, no, no, you finish.
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Awkward.
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Pausing as you speak can also be really impactful, especially right before an important point that you want to make.
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So an important one to remember, 3 SP, the three-second pause.
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Another brilliant way to demonstrate warmth is to find something in parallel with the person, something you have in common.
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Commonality drives connection.
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So when meeting someone new, try to find something in common with them.
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It doesn't even have to be something profound.
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It could be that you were both born overseas
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or you used to work for the same company previously the
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goal is to connect on an authentic human level now it might mean
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that you need to do some linkedin stalking
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or some detective work through an internet search but it really works wonders
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if you can find a commonality with that person it instantly relaxes them
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and you and they're more likely to remember you afterwards because of something called the halo effect
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This is where the positive feelings the person has about whatever you have in common can influence how they feel about you.
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Remember, make other people feel valuable and you become valuable.
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And the final P is proximity.
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The fact is we tend to develop more of a liking for something if it's familiar to us.
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It's called the mere exposure effect or the familiarity effect in psychology.
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And while it's used a lot in sales and marketing strategies, it also applies to people.
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Now, admittedly, this is less about a first impression and more about a longer lasting impression, but I still wanted to include it.
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Next time you want to get someone new in your life to like you more, spend more time around them, be around them more, sit near them,
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interact with them, even if you let them do all the talking and you just listen.
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It will increase the familiarity, connection and closeness between you, and they'll be more likely to have a positive perception of you.
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So there you have it, WC and the 4 Ps, the essential tips you need to make a strong first impression with Charisma.
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Now, it's also worth mentioning that you want to make sure you're still being authentic.
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We've all had an experience where you meet someone for the first time, and they're trying way too hard to impress you.
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You can tell they're saying what they think you want them to say, and it just doesn't seem genuine, and it really comes across as insecure.
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So your aim shouldn't be to wow someone with your skills and experience, but actually to create a sincere conversation that's memorable and engaging.
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Be yourself and don't worry about how you're being perceived in the moment.
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Just be authentic and true to you.
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I'm Sade Zorai, I'll see you next time.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “5 Ways to Use Charisma for Standout First Impressions”. Le parole che ritornano più spesso: impression, warmth, tip, likely. Questo video contiene 106 frasi e 1569 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 8:40. Chi parla va veloce, circa 181 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 83% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| warmth sostantivo | /wɔɹmθ/ | calore |
| charisma sostantivo | /kəˈɹɪzmə/ | carisma |
| pause sostantivo | /pɔːz/ | pausa |
| authentic aggettivo | /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/ | autentico |
| demonstrate verbo | /ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/ | dimostrare |
| overlook verbo | /ˈoʊ.vɚˌlʊk/ | affacciarsi |
| competence sostantivo | /ˈkɑm.pə.təns/ | competenza |
| convey verbo | /kənˈveɪ/ | trasportare, condurre |
| researcher sostantivo | /ˈɹiˌsɝ.t͡ʃɚ/ | ricercatore, ricercatrice |
| colleague sostantivo | /ˈkɒliːɡ/ | collega |
| bias sostantivo | /ˈbaɪ.əs/ | pregiudizio, predisposizione |
| altruism sostantivo | /ˈæl.tɹu.ɪz.əm/ | altruismo |
| attentive aggettivo | /əˈtɛntɪv/ | attento |
| compel verbo | /kəmˈpɛl/ | forzare, costringere |
| extroverted aggettivo | /ˈɛkstɹəˌvəɹtɪd/ | estroverso |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| come across verbo | dare l'impressione, avere l'aria |
| draw out verbo | prolungare |
| go through verbo | attraversare |
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | can be forgiven · is processed · is established |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | has drawn · has been described · has been shown |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 32 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come they're, you're, aren't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: warmth /wɔɹmθ/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, tenth /tɛnθ/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: handshake /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/, subconscious /sʌbˈkɑn.ʃəs/, superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, evolutionary /ˌiː.vəˈluː.ʃən.ɛɹ.i/, sensation /sɛnˈseɪʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: commonality /ˌkɑ.məˈnæl.ə.ti/, familiarity /fəmɪliˈæɹɪti/, unfamiliar /ˌʌnfəˈmɪli.ə(ɹ)/, altruism /ˈæl.tɹu.ɪz.əm/, approachable /əˈpɹəʊ.t͡ʃə.bəl/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: warmth /wɔɹmθ/, pause /pɔːz/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, demonstrate /ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/, overlook /ˈoʊ.vɚˌlʊk/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: commonality /ˌkɑ.məˈnæl.ə.ti/, familiarity /fəmɪliˈæɹɪti/, altruism /ˈæl.tɹu.ɪz.əm/, handshake /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/, impactful /ˈɪmpæktfəl/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come warmth, charisma, pause.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.