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If you've always been the smart one, the high achiever, the go-to person, the one that people turn to for the answers, you would think that confidence would just come easily, naturally, but it doesn't.
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In fact, I found that some of the most brilliant people I've supported or mentored, the Fortune 500 execs, the PhDs, the founders, they are often the ones most consumed by self-doubt.
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So if you've ever doubted yourself, if you've ever felt like you don't deserve to be where you are, or felt like your confidence hasn't quite caught up to your competence or experience, this is for you.
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In this episode, I'll walk you through three surprising ways
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that your intelligence might actually be sabotaging your self-belief and three practical strategies to build self-trust,
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to own your success, and finally feel like you belong in the room.
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The first thing we need to do is get clear on what we're dealing with.
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Imposter syndrome.
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How many people do you think have actually experienced imposter syndrome?
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A study from the Journal of General Internal Medicine found that up to 82% of people, Yes, that's 8 out of 10 experienced it at some point in their lives.
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So let's look at the real reason confidence drops when competence rises.
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The more you know, the more aware you become of what you don't know.
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This was the core finding of researchers David Dunning and Justin Kruger.
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They discovered that people with low ability tend to overestimate themselves because they don't yet know enough to realize what they're missing.
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But as your skills grow, so does your awareness you start spotting nuance, you see the complexity, you recognize the gaps.
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And ironically, that's the moment your confidence dips, even as your competence is rising.
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At the start of anything new, maybe a job, a new business, a skill, your confidence is weirdly high.
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It's being on what researchers call the peak of Mount Stupid.
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You don't know enough to feel intimidated.
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But then it hits you.
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You suddenly realize how much there is to learn and your confidence takes a nosedive into the valley of despair.
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Now that's the rough part and that's the part where most people question themselves.
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It's also the part where most people give up or quit.
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If you stay the course, if you keep practicing, learning, applying, you start climbing again.
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And that's called being on the slope of enlightenment.
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And then eventually you will reach the plateau of sustainability.
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And that's where real confidence lives.
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That's the kind that's built on earned experience.
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So for most, confidence rises with competence once you get past the peak of Mount Stupid, of course.
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But here is where imposter syndrome actually flips the script.
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If you feel like a fraud, it's not because you're incompetent.
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It's usually because your confidence is stuck in the valley of despair while your objective competence is soaring.
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So you are getting more experience, you're learning, you're growing, but your confidence is not growing with it.
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So you've become almost so good that you can see what others miss.
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But instead of feeling accomplished, it feels like luck.
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It feels like you've tricked people, like it could all fall apart at any second.
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And that was me.
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And honestly, sometimes it still is.
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There was a point in my career when I thought maybe another degree will finally shut down the doubt.
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So I did an MBA to prove that I was capable.
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I started my PhD to feel like I was of value and still the voice came back.
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When I was a PhD candidate, I would sit in rooms full of brilliant minds
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and immediately felt like I had to prove that I deserved to be there.
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Even though I had co-founded a global company, I'd worked with Fortune 500s, I'd built an audience of millions, but the moment I was around academics and professors,
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I felt like I absolutely didn't belong.
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But what opened my eyes wasn't so much my experience, it was watching the other PhD candidates in the room.
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These were some of the most accomplished people that I'd ever met because getting into a top doctoral program isn't exactly easy.
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And yet I could see it.
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I could see in how they were hesitating to speak up, how they were over explaining to sound smart.
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They were all trying to feel like they belonged to.
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And part of it is because the more competent and intelligent someone is, the higher their internal standard for what counts as good enough.
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They're also usually acutely aware of what they don't know and what they haven't mastered yet, and that's called metacognitive awareness.
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It's actually a form of intellectual humility.
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So if you have ever felt like a fraud, despite your track record of high performance, you are not broken.
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You are not lacking.
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Your brain is just doing exactly what a smart brain does.
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It sees the gaps and it's aiming high.
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This episode is brought to you by Big Trust.
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Lewis Howes shared, the moments that matter most are usually the ones when doubt gets the loudest.
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Big Trust is the playbook for rising above it and making the most of those moments.
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I'll tell you more at the end.
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Now, back to the episode.
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So now that we understand why it happens, let's talk about how this shows up and what to do instead.
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First, perfectionism.
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Most high achievers that I've trained or worked with sit in what I call the perfectionism prison.
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If it's not flawless, it doesn't count.
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If there's any room for criticism, they'd rather not try.
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It wasn't that they had excessively high standards, I mean that was part of it, but what I was seeing is that the standards that they set and their behavior was mostly driven by one thing,
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and that one thing was fear.
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There was fear of failure, fear of judgment, or fear of not being enough.
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And the problem with this kind of perfectionism is that it leads to burnout, to procrastination, and a constant sense that nothing you do is ever good enough.
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So you end up more anxious, you criticize yourself more, and you have lower self-esteem.
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So this brings us to strategy number one, the good enough protocol.
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This is something I've implemented into my own life and it's completely changed how I make decisions, how I respond when things don't go to plan and the kinds of standards that I set for myself.
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To understand what makes this strategy so effective, you first need to understand that there are two types of decision makers.
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We've got satisficers and maximizers.
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I used to be a maximizer.
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I used to need to explore every option, to weigh every possibility, to optimize every outcome.
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I used to chase the best.
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I was constantly getting stuck in overthinking, over-analysis, self-doubt, and it was utterly exhausting.
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This is what it feels like to be a maximizer because you are never satisfied.
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But then I learned about the power of aiming for good enough.
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And this is a satisficer's mindset.
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Far from being lazy or that they can't be bothered to have high standards, this mindset really values progress over perfection.
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So satisfizers make a decision once it meets the need, and then they move forward, they don't get stuck, they're not aiming for the best.
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They're aiming for whatever satisfies the objective, and the objective is progress or growth.
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Research shows that satisfizers tend to be less anxious, they can make decisions faster and they stick to them, and importantly, they're more content with their choices.
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And when it comes to imposter syndrome, that really matters because imposter thoughts
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and perfectionism often go hand in hand they are like best buddies you feel like you're not really qualified
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so you try to overcompensate by making everything flawless so
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that you're never found out
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and this is where the close enough protocol becomes an absolute
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lifeline it is a mindset it's an approach it's something
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that i encourage you to literally say out loud
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but just make sure people aren't around you so you say it out loud if you're by yourself.
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Let's say a presentation didn't go exactly as you wanted.
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Close enough to land the message.
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Your workout wasn't as intense as you'd planned.
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Close enough to build consistency.
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Did the email feel a little awkward?
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Close enough to show you care.
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These two words, close enough, are a pattern interrupt for the perfectionist.
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They challenge the lie that if something isn't perfect, it's worthless.
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And I repeat these words in my head constantly.
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Because perfectionism is often driven by what's called loss aversion, which is this fear that small imperfections will lead to big gigantic consequences.
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Like if you don't nail how you facilitate your team meeting, all of your teammates are going to think that you're incompetent, your manager will stop trusting that you're capable,
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and then you will be taken off your top client's account.
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None of that is true.
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It's just a story that you've made up in your head.
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But when you shift to close enough, you're guiding yourself into satisficing mode.
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It frees up mental bandwidth and gives you permission to move forward.
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It keeps you showing up.
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So for non-critical tasks, intentionally lower your standards.
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Think of it as strategic imperfection.
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Now, of course, high standards do have a time and place, like if you're making a life or death decision, if you are a pilot mid-flight or defusing a bomb.
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But in most areas of life and work, it just slows you down.
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As I always say to our students, done is better than perfect.
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Execution beats obsession.
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You can always improve next time, but only if you give yourself permission to actually start.
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The second way imposter syndrome shows up is the comparison complex.
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Ever walked into a room full of high performers and instantly felt like you're the least impressive one there?
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It's because when you're surrounded by other high achievers, it is easy to feel like you're falling behind.
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No matter how well you're actually doing, you start measuring your worth by what others are achieving.
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As humans, we're wired to compare.
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It's one of the primary ways that we figure out where we stand in a group.
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You scan the room for cues.
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Who's ahead?
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Who's behind?
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Am I doing enough?
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Festinger's social comparison theory goes into a lot more detail about how and why we do this.
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But the thing is, when you're surrounded by high performers, and let's be honest, if you're watching this, you probably are, your brain doesn't go, wow, what an inspiring environment.
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It goes, everyone here is so much smarter, more accomplished, and more confident than I am.
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And it doesn't inspire you, it makes you feel like you're completely behind, like you're inferior.
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That's the comparison complex.
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But what makes this even more damaging is how we compare.
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We don't just measure credentials or output, we start comparing internal feelings to external appearances.
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What does that mean?
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Well, we assume everyone else feels confident, composed, and capable, while we're the only ones second guessing ourselves.
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The assumption is what psychologists call pluralistic ignorance.
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You believe that you're the only one who feels uncertain because no one else is saying they are.
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There was a 2020 systematic review and it found that this is one of the defining features of imposter syndrome.
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People feel isolated in their self-doubt, even when everyone else around them feels the same.
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So instead of seeing your strengths, you fixate on your perceived gaps.
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And then here is what else happens.
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If you're genuinely competent, you often undervalue your strengths.
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Because what is easy for you feels obvious.
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You assume it must be easy for everyone else too.
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So what do we do about this?
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And this brings us to strategy number two, the evidence collection method.
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If your inner critic is fueled by feelings, then you need to fight back with facts.
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You need to start collecting evidence, not just once, but systematically.
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So here's how we encourage our students to do it.
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Create a folder on your phone or your computer called Confidence Bank, or you can call it whatever you like.
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Screenshot any praise, kind emails, a project that you're proud of.
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Save it to this folder.
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Every time that imposter voice pipes up, Open the folder.
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Let reality speak louder than your insecurity.
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Imposter thoughts thrive on subjective self-assessment, so how you felt you performed, rather than objective outcomes, what actually happened.
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Evidence is what helps close that gap.
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And over time, this practice trains your brain to see yourself more clearly, more accurately, like you're holding up a mirror that actually reflects the truth,
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rather than one that's distorted by fear or self-doubt.
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I've personally found this hugely valuable.
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I keep a folder in my phone's photo app, and it's filled with screenshots of emails and comments and messages from people who have been impacted by our work.
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On tough days, I'll go back to it, and I'll have a look at the real impact that we're having.
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And that is my evidence that my work makes a difference.
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So find your version of that.
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And here is something most people don't actually expect.
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Research from MIT's Basima Tufik found that imposter thoughts, while they're uncomfortable, we all know they are, they can actually enhance your interpersonal effectiveness.
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They can make you better with people.
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And that's a key ingredient in career success.
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In one of her studies, medical trainees who had more frequent imposter thoughts were rated by patients as having better bedside manner and higher interpersonal skills.
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Why?
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Because they were more attentive, more thoughtful, and more attuned to others' emotions.
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Now, in another study, job candidates who were primed to feel imposter thoughts actually asked more thoughtful questions during informal interviews,
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and were seen as having stronger people skills.
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So while these imposter thoughts can feel really heavy, and they might feel like a weakness, they can actually make you more other-oriented,
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more empathetic, more likable, more connected.
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And that's why gathering evidence matters so much, because it not only reminds you of what you've achieved, it also reconnects you to the impact that you've had on others.
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It's proof that your doubts don't define you, your actions do.
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Now to the third way that imposter syndrome often shows up in high potential people.
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It's through the intelligence anxiety loop.
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This is a vicious cycle that I see constantly.
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So high intelligence often leads to greater awareness of complexity.
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You're aware of what you don't know and how hard something might be.
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Because of that awareness, you see more ways that things could go wrong.
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That recognition leads to more anxiety.
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that anxiety leads to lower confidence and lower confidence leads to more overthinking
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and then boom you're back at square one smart people often overthink
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because they can't see the full picture
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but over analysis can trick you into paralysis so if you find
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that you're highly anxious here's what i recommend you do this is strategy number three the spiral interrupt technique
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when your brain starts spiraling say out loud this is my brain doing its job i'm safe to act anyway.
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This phrase does two powerful things.
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One, it creates separation between you and your thoughts.
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This is what cognitive researchers call diffusion.
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You stop fusing with the thought as if it's absolute truth, and you see it as just a mental event.
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Two, it re-engages your agency.
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You remind yourself that safety and action can coexist, that fear doesn't have to leave for you to actually move forward.
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Then, don't try to fix the whole thing.
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Don't aim to make the anxiety vanish, just take one small step.
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Because action is what signals to your nervous system, I'm okay, we're not in danger, we can handle this.
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And that's how you interrupt that loop.
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You're not fighting your fear, but you're gently moving through it.
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And that is a powerful way to build your own momentum.
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If you take away one thing from this episode, let it be this.
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You don't have to already know everything to feel confident.
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Something that I've observed since the beginning of my career, when I worked in corporate law, when I moved into banking, when I started training leaders all over the world.
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It's that the most successful and happy people don't have all the answers all the time.
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And they also didn't pretend to.
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They had something called intellectual humility, and it's powerful.
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It's a very pragmatic awareness of your current experience level, of your existing skill set, and importantly, of your gaps.
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It's a metacognitive virtue where you acknowledge your limits and you embrace your fallibility.
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And I love this because it's all about honoring that you're human and with that comes learning.
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When you admit, I don't know everything and I don't know how to do everything, what you're doing is freeing yourself from the pressure of needing to get everything right first go.
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There's a story I love of the actor Jason Siegel.
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You've probably heard of him or know him for his role in How I Met Your Mother.
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He's an experienced actor, but when he was directing his first show, Dispatches from elsewhere, he was overwhelmed with the feeling that he was there by mistake.
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And instead of hiding his anxiety, he owned it.
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And he shared it with the crew and the cast.
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He said to them, this is my first time directing.
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If I do anything that bugs you, let me know.
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It's not intentional.
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I'm doing this for the first time.
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And in an interview on the Armchair Expert podcast, he said, it was freeing.
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You say it out loud and it breaks the ice.
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So we can see that imposter syndrome and intellectual humility are almost like being at opposite ends of a spectrum.
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Where your imposter thoughts would say, I don't know this, so I must be a fraud, intellectual humility says, I don't know this, and that's an opportunity to grow.
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Where imposter feelings are driven by a fear of being exposed, see gaps in knowledge as proof of inadequacy, are obsessed with proving worth,
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and avoid mistakes at all costs, intellectual humility is grounded in curiosity and self-respect.
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It sees gaps as natural and expected.
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It's focused on learning and evolving.
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And it accepts mistakes as part of the process.
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Because I will tell you this much, if you're in a position where you know everything and how to do everything all the time, you are not growing.
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You're stagnating.
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Every single person who has ever started a new role, founded a new business, tried a new challenge, or stepped outside of their comfort zone has felt uncertainty.
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That's not a sign that something's wrong with you.
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It's a signal that growth is happening.
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Self-doubt doesn't shout.
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It whispers and it keeps smart people playing small.
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You can't positive think your way past it.
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You have to rewire it.
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Big trust is the result of five years of PhD research
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and over 100 studies and they all point to one powerful truth.
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Your career satisfaction, your earning potential, even your happiness are shaped by four core attributes.
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When one of them is weak, self-doubt gets louder.
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Strengthen them and everything changes.
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Go to bigtrustbook.com to order and grab the exclusive bonuses while they're still available.
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So here is your challenge.
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Pick one of these three strategies and apply it this week.
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Maybe it's using close enough or starting your confidence bank or breaking the anxiety spiral just with one small action.
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And then at the end of the week, ask yourself, did I feel even 1% more confident?
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If yes, fantastic.
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Layer on the next one.
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And if not, keep at it.
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And if you enjoyed this episode, hit subscribe because I share practical science-backed tools to help you build real confidence, not just the kind that looks good on paper.
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And tell me in the comments, what is the biggest confidence challenge that you're facing right now?
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If you're wanting to go deeper on confidence, I have this episode right here, which is from a few years back.
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So yes, I will look a little younger, but it's one of our highest viewed because it focuses on how to look more confident.
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So of course, feeling confident is one thing, but then making sure you're conveying that to others is a whole different ball game
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and it's also a very important piece of the puzzle.
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Thanks for joining me and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “Why Smart People Struggle With Imposter Syndrome”. Questo video contiene 261 frasi e 3494 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 18:50. Chi parla va veloce, circa 186 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 83% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| impostor sostantivo | /ɪmˈpɑstɚ/ | impostore |
| perfectionism sostantivo | /pɚˈfɛk.ʃə.nɪ.zm̩/ | perfezionismo |
| competence sostantivo | /ˈkɑm.pə.təns/ | competenza |
| humility sostantivo | /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/ | umiltà |
| folder sostantivo | /ˈfoʊldɚ/ | cartella, fascicolo |
| interrupt verbo | /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/ | interrompere, tagliare |
| mindset sostantivo | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentalità, modo di pensare |
| researcher sostantivo | /ˈɹiˌsɝ.t͡ʃɚ/ | ricercatore, ricercatrice |
| accomplish verbo | /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/ | compiere, realizzare |
| anxious aggettivo | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | inquieto |
| flawless aggettivo | /ˈflɔləs/ | impeccabile, perfetto |
| incompetent aggettivo | /ɪnˈkɒmpətənt/ | incompetente |
| surround verbo | /səˈɹaʊnd/ | circondare |
| performer sostantivo | /pɚˈfɔɹmɚ/ | esecutore, esecutrice |
| despair sostantivo | /dɪˈspɛə(ɹ)/ | disperazione |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| come back verbo | tornare |
| end up verbo | andare a finire, finire |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto |
| find out verbo | scoprire |
| give up verbo | arrendersi |
| hold up verbo | ritardare, rallentare |
| look forward to verbo | non vedere l'ora |
| shut down verbo | spegnere |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- How many people do you think have actually experienced imposter syndrome?
- You don't know enough to feel intimidated.
- I felt like I absolutely didn't belong.
- I'll tell you more at the end.
- We've got satisficers and maximizers.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verbo — un’abitudine o uno stato passato che non è più vero | used to be · used to need · used to chase |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | you've always been · I've supported · you've ever doubted |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | are not broken · is brought · can't be bothered |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | aversion, which is · one who feels · people who have |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 113 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, don't, you've. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfəl/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: perfectionism /pɚˈfɛk.ʃə.nɪ.zm̩/, accomplish /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, intentionally /ɪnˈtɛn(t)ʃənəli/, vicious /ˈvɪʃəs/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: perfectionism /pɚˈfɛk.ʃə.nɪ.zm̩/, humility /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/, incompetent /ɪnˈkɒmpətənt/, complexity /kəmˈplɛk.sɪ.ti/, importantly /ɪmˈpɔɹ.tənt.li/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: humility /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/, enhance /ɪnˈhæns/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: competence /ˈkɑm.pə.təns/, interrupt /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/, mindset /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/, accomplish /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, attribute /ˈæt.ɹɪˌbjut/, systematic /ˌsɪs.tɪˈmæt.ɪk/, satisfy /ˈsætɪsfaɪ/, accurately /ˈæk.jə.ɹɪt.li/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come impostor, perfectionism, competence.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.