Pratica di Shadowing: How To Make A Strong First Impression (That Lasts) - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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You're making mistakes with your first impression that you can't see.
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And when these mistakes happen,
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it doesn't make you forgettable.
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It makes you incorrectly memorable.
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And because of a bad first impression,
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you now spend every future interaction trying to correct it.
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My name's Vin.
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I'm an international keynote speaker and communication coach.
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Over the last decade, I've met a lot of people.
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And this is what I've come to realize.
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It only takes your brain a tenth of a second to form a read on someone
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when you meet them for the first time.
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And before they've even said anything,
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your brain has already decided who they are.
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Now imagine when someone meets you.
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What first impressions are you creating without you even realising?
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I'm going to show you what each one of these five components look like in order,
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and the exact behaviour to replace it with.
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This doesn't just apply to networking,
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it applies to whenever you're meeting anybody for the first time.
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Component number one, how you walk into a room.
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Most people walk into a room and the first thing they do is,
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they find something to look at that isn't another person.
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They look at their phone,
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they look at the ceiling,
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anywhere but the actual person.
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Your brain often defaults to making yourself small,
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which forces you to close yourself off with closed posture.
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But what does this signal to the people in the room?
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Well, it tells them that you lack confidence in yourself.
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You don't think that you belong in that room and you have low status.
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And without you saying even a single word,
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people have already made those judgments,
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whether they're true or whether they're not.
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So how do you fix this?
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I call this the doorway reset.
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And it's something that I've learned from one of my theatre coaches back in the day.
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He said to me, then your posture introduces you before your words do.
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So every single time you're about to walk through any doorframe, readjust your posture.
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Because when you enter a new room,
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you're creating a new impression.
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And I've just anchored this in my mind anytime I walk through a doorframe.
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And I want you to anchor this into your mind as well.
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before you walk through any door frame, readjust your posture.
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Stand tall, shoulders down and back,
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and the center of your head,
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imagine a piece of string pulling it nice and high.
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Then walk into the room.
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And just this tiny shift makes you not only look more confident,
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but when you introduce yourself and you speak,
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you'll sound more confident as well.
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Because your body is connected to your voice,
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and your voice is connected to your body.
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Now you're in.
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But the next mistake usually happens in the first 10 seconds of meeting someone new and it can make or break relationships.
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Component number two, remembering their name.
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This happens to all of us,
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and it goes a little something like this.
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Yo, Vin, what's up, man?
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What's up, Vin?
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Good to see you, buddy.
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Champ.
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Man.
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It's good to see you.
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Oh, Andy.
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Andy, oh, dude.
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You're gonna have to help me out, brother.
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I forgot the guy's name.
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Help me.
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I got you, man.
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Hey, name's Andy.
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Nice to meet you, man.
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What's your name?
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I'm gonna let this guy introduce me because he used to do it to me all the time in university Yeah,
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I I have no idea who the you are man.
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Oh Man, I hate situations like that.
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Oh my gosh Now look the common advice
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that you would often hear people say is
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if you want to remember people's names Just repeat their names in the first minute of you talking to them
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and that helps with memory now That does work
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But you've got to be really subtle about that
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because you don't want to be like hey Craig nice to meet you Craig Craig what are you doing these days?
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Craig, how are you?
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Craig, again, that's just going to be weird if you do that.
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You need more than just this strategy.
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And here's what I like to do.
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And it's something I rarely hear people talk about.
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And I've used this technique to remember the names of my students at my workshops,
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and even recall the names of people I've met years ago.
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It's a very powerful technique.
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And it's called name association.
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When someone tells you their name,
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immediately attach something to that name to make it more memorable.
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It could be a unique physical feature or a quality about that person.
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It could be an alliteration, a rhyme, an exaggeration.
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Something that your brain can grab onto.
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And the more silly or vivid or wild the association actually is,
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the easier it is to remember their name.
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So if I met a bloke named Michael,
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and the first thing I noticed about him is
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that he's got arms the size of my head then I'm
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immediately going to be thinking That's massive Michael with Vin shaped biceps.
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So I imagine in my head little Vin heads around his arms It's a freaky picture,
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but that's how I remember massive Michael and for example
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if I meet someone named Sarah
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and I notice She's always smiling now in my brain She's smiley Sarah
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and one more example
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if I was trying to remember Craig's name who's here with
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me right now in the studio He's always behind the camera
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so then I would call him Craig the camera camel Why camel?
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Well because the guy doesn't drink water.
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He never drinks water and he always drinks beers Actually, I'll rename him.
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He's gonna be Craig the alcoholic See now I'm never gonna forget Craig's name
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because I've forever associated his name with alcohol Okay jokes aside.
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Can you see what I'm doing here?
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The more of a stronger association you can create with
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that person whether it's with a physical feature or a play on words or a or a combination of both,
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then it's easier for you to recall their name.
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And if you use this technique just two to three times,
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it will lock their name into your memory for good.
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Now this is what you shouldn't do.
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You should not tell Big Nose Barry what his alliteration is.
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Some of these descriptions are not appropriate for public consumption.
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This is purely an internal filing system that you have just in your own head.
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Because like I said earlier,
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the more vivid the exaggeration, the better the connection the more you'll remember it.
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So keep this to yourself.
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So why are we going to so much effort to remember somebody's name?
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Well, because somebody's name, it's the sweetest sound that they can hear.
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It shows that you're attentive and it makes people feel valued and it deepens your connection with them more than you realize.
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When someone says your name 20 minutes after you've introduced yourself,
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even though you've only said it once,
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doesn't it make you feel seen?
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Doesn't it make you feel special?
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Alright, now you've got their name.
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You're in the conversation.
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But when you actually open your mouth,
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this is where it often falls apart for a lot of people.
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Component number three, how to use your voice.
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When you think about making a good first impression,
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what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
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It's probably how you look.
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Your outfit, your hair, your glasses, your shoes, right?
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This is visual image.
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But here's what nobody teaches you, unfortunately.
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A great first impression is made up of two parts.
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Your visual image and then also your vocal image.
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Most people only focus on their visual image.
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Again, that's how you look,
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that's how you use your body language,
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what you wear, etc. But rarely do they think about their vocal image,
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which is how they sound.
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Here's the crazy part.
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You can buy your visual image.
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You can buy the watch,
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you can buy the glasses,
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the nice shirt, but you can't buy your vocal image.
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Your ability to communicate well,
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that's something that has to be earned.
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Most people spend 20 minutes trying to look good before they leave the house in the morning.
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But when was the last time you spent 20 minutes trying to sound good?
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Because you can have a strong visual image,
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but the moment you open your mouth and you reveal your vocal image,
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people are creating perceptions about your level of authority,
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your level of status, credibility,
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and whether or not they can trust you, how friendly you are.
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All of this is made in an instant the moment you open your mouth and reveal the vocal image.
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So what does your vocal image reveal about you, without you even realising?
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If you're just sitting there thinking,
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alright, but how do I actually get better at this?
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The first step isn't to start applying random communication tips you find on the internet to yourself
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and hope that it makes you a better communicator.
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No, you don't do this.
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The first step is self-awareness.
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And why is this the first step?
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Because when you identify what your communication blind spots are,
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then you can apply the right behavior changes that are specific to you,
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not just random tips, because random tips get random results.
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And what I'm about to recommend here,
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I know most of you are not going to do,
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But to the top 5% who are going to apply this,
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it's going to feel uncomfortable.
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I know it's going to feel uncomfortable.
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However, if you lean in and do it,
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it's going to change the way you communicate forever.
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Are you ready?
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It's for you to record a video of yourself speaking to camera.
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I know, it's so scary, man.
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I don't want to do it.
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Come on, mate, just do it.
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You need to see yourself the way others see you when you communicate.
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Otherwise, you never get to see yourself from a different perspective.
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You never get to see yourself because you're always looking at yourself through the lens of your own eyes.
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This is going to give you a lens outside looking at you.
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This is what helps you develop the self-awareness.
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So open up your camera app on the phone,
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set your phone on a tripod or a table,
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use the back camera so that you don't see yourself while you're doing this,
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otherwise you're gonna get all self-conscious.
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Hit record and then start talking.
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It has to be unscripted.
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Now, what am I gonna talk about Vin if it's unscripted? here's a simple solution.
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I want you to just go to AI
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and ask it to prompt you between five to ten questions that cause you to self-reflect,
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that force you to get to know yourself better.
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You might as well make the content of this video something that's going to help you in your life.
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It's going to reveal your non-functional behaviours
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and it's also going to help you dig deeper into who you are as a human being.
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A very important piece of information here,
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this video that you're recording needs to go for at least five to ten minutes.
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Why?
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Because we need a large sample size of how you currently communicate
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so that we can tease out all of those non-functional behaviors.
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Once you've got this video,
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you must leave the video.
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Don't watch it.
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Leave it for 24 hours.
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We are way too judgmental.
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And if you watch it straight away,
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you're not going to be able to continue the rest of the process as effectively as you can,
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because you will think to yourself,
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oh, I don't like the way I look.
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Oh, I don't like the way I sound.
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Leave it for 24 hours.
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Create some separation.
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And once you have the video,
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24 hours later, you now have the perfect material to go
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and do a deep analysis on your visual image and your vocal image.
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And I don't have time to go through the complete process here,
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but I have created a free guide.
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It's a three-part video course designed to help you do exactly this.
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So if you want to learn exactly how to identify your non-functional behaviors that you need to focus on and work on,
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just click the link in the description and access the free training there to help you develop that awareness.
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Or you can scan the QR code on screen too.
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It's completely free and it'll take you no more than 45 minutes to complete the process.
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Look, I need to hammer this point home.
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You can focus on your visual image all you want,
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but that's only 50% of the puzzle.
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So really start to master your vocal image paired with great visual image,
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and now you're going to create the best first impression every time.
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Component number four, what you say.
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So you've walked in the room with presents,
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you've locked in their name,
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you've shown up with a strong vocal image.
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Now comes the part most people get wrong.
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They think making a first grade impression is all about being impressive.
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It's not.
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Most people walk into a conversation thinking,
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what do I say next?
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How do I sound?
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Do they like me?
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It's me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
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And the moment your attention goes there, you stop being present.
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Think about the people who you've met,
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who've left a mark on you,
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who've left a great impression on you.
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When you met them, were they doing something different?
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Did they listen more than they spoke?
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Think about those interactions.
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These people always look out for the small details,
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the threads
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that they can pull on to get to know you better
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as a person in other words they're interested in you they're
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not always putting the focus on themselves i have a friend named fong
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and everybody loves to be around him and fong
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if you're watching this hey brother look at you you've made
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it into one of my youtube videos what a privilege for you brother
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but you see the thing about fong is
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that people love being around him not for the main reasons why you think he's not
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that charismatic he's not the loudest and he's not even
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that funny yeah fong you're not that funny
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but you know what he's really good at he's amazing at listening
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because in every conversation he knows how to ask the exact
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right questions he knows how to dig deeper with you to go below the surface level conversations
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and everybody loves him heck they love him more than me they tell him more secrets than they tell me
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and i used to always look at that but like why
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but he has a secret power good old vin over here
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trying to always be the one that's the most interesting fong has learned the importance of being interested in others.
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So be the person who notices others.
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Be the person who listens for what's underneath the words.
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Ask them about their world,
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what they care about, what they do,
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what they love, what they're building, what they're hoping for.
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Because the moment someone feels genuinely seen, the conversation changes.
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It stops being about networking and it starts being about connection.
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While everyone's out there trying to get attention,
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you're now the one trying to give it.
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So what am I trying to say here?
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Be a little more like Fong and a little less like Vin.
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And that brings us to the final component,
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because everything you've done up to this point,
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it all fades if you can't do this last part correctly.
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Component number five, what you do in the 24 hours after.
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Here's the move that separates a good first impression from one that actually lasts.
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Within 24 hours of meeting somebody new,
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send them a follow-up message.
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Not a cheesy LinkedIn request with a generic note,
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not an Instagram follow-up, an actual message.
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It doesn't need to be fancy.
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It just needs to be really, really specific.
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So let's just say you met somebody at an event,
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and during that conversation, because you're now more like Fong,
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and you listen better, you pull on certain threads,
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you learn that they've been trying to get better at exercising.
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And you saw that their eyes lit up when they were talking about exercising,
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but then you also saw their eyes kinda start to dim when they said,
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ah, but I'm really struggling with staying consistent.
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You remember all of these and then you connect
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because you're on the same boat because you've also been trying to exercise too.
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And that's something you bonded over.
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If you're going to send a follow up,
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you should send them something like this.
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Hey, it was so good meeting you last night.
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Listen, I know we both spoke last night about being more consistent at the gym.
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Here's someone who really inspires me.
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His name is Eugene.
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He's been able to help me achieve a lot of my fitness goals.
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So you should follow him too.
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I think it's gonna help you achieve your goals.
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And you know what? next time we meet,
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I bet you we're both gonna have biceps the size of basketballs.
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Hey, it was genuinely great chatting with you last night.
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Hope to see you again soon.
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That's it.
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No pitch, no ask.
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You're not trying to get anything out of it.
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You're just trying to show that you cared and that you were present,
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that you enjoyed the conversation you had with them the night before.
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And there's one goal you have after this.
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So after you've sent that beautiful little message with no strings attached,
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then I ask you to be curious.
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Be curious about how you you can help that person achieve one of their goals in life.
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As opposed to you immediately making an ask and going,
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hey, by the way, I'm an agency.
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Can I help you with this or can I help you with that?
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Instead of doing that, before you ask people for something, give first.
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This is such a rare trait to have now.
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So after you send that follow-up,
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they might send you something back.
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I would suggest the next thing you send them is that,
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hey, by the way, if there's anything I can ever help you with to achieve your fitness goals,
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let me know.
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I'll be more than happy to do so.
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Because when you help somebody first,
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now you're applying a rule.
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And it's rooted in psychology.
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There's a principle called the law of reciprocity.
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And it says that when someone gives you something with no strings attached,
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even something small, even just a thoughtful message or a thoughtful connection,
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your brain naturally now wants to give back.
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And you might be thinking,
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but Vin, isn't this manipulation?
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Yes.
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Yes, it absolutely is.
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Don't you know that's my plan the entire time?
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Don't you know that's the purpose of this channel?
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Is to do evil things
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and no i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i couldn't follow through with
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that because i'm not evil and this isn't evil It's not manipulation.
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It's just how the human brain is wired
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We're built to return what we've been given so when you send that message
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and you help the other person There's no by the way i would also love to pick your brain now
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because i've helped you so you're gonna help me right No,
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you don't say anything like that it happens naturally
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when the other person knows that you are being genuine that you are trying to just help,
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they feel like you care.
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They remember you differently than the 10 other people they met the night before at the networking function.
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And when that happens, they want you in their network.
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They want you in their circle.
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And the only way you can have a quality connection with somebody is
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if on the night when you met them in the first place,
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you had quality listening abilities.
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It's not about being transactional.
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It's about making the other person feel seen,
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feel heard, feel understood, and to make the other person feel cared for.
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Start the relationship with a genuine connection Seriously, just watch what happens.
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You can thank me later.
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Remember, if you want to create a strong first impression,
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make sure you click the link in the description and learn the full self-awareness process
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that's going to make you aware of what you do visually that's non-functional,
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the sounds you make that are non-functional,
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even some of the things you say that are non-functional.
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So check that out in my free three-part video course in the description below,
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or you can scan the QR code up here.
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I'll see you in the next video.
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Contesto & Sfondo
Nel video "Come Fare una Forte Prima Impressione (Che Dura)", Vin, un esperto relatore internazionale e coach di comunicazione, esplora l'importanza delle prime impressioni e il loro impatto sulle interazioni future. Durante il suo decennale percorso, Vin ha scoperto che il nostro cervello è in grado di formare un giudizio su una persona in appena un decimo di secondo, il che significa che le azioni e i comportamenti iniziali possono avere un effetto duraturo. Comprendere questi dettagli è fondamentale per chi desidera migliorare la propria comunicazione in inglese e fare una buona impressione.
Le 5 Frasi Fondamentali per la Comunicazione Quotidiana
- “Ciao, come stai?” - Una semplice introduzione che mostra interesse.
- “Posso unirmi a voi?” - Un modo per farti notare e mostrare apertura.
- “Mi piacerebbe sapere di più su di te.” - Incoraggia la conversazione e dimostra attenzione.
- “Qual è la tua opinione su …?” - Stimola il dialogo e coinvolge l'altra persona.
- “Ti ringrazio per il tuo tempo.” - Chiude la conversazione in modo positivo e rispettoso.
Guida Passo-passo allo Shadowing
Per affrontare la difficoltà di migliorare le tue prime impressioni e la tua comunicazione in inglese, puoi seguire questo approccio di shadowspeak. Ecco una guida semplice:
- Ascolta attentamente: Guarda il video e ascolta come Vin presenta le sue idee. Presta attenzione al tono e alla postura.
- Ripeti ad alta voce: Utilizza la tecnica del shadowing, ovvero ripeti immediatamente quello che hai ascoltato, cercando di imitare la pronuncia e l’intonazione di Vin.
- Registra te stesso: Fai delle registrazioni della tua voce mentre pratichi. Confronta le tue ripetizioni con l'originale per identificare aree di miglioramento.
- Pratica la postura: Mentre parli, concentrati sulla tua postura. Ricorda il consiglio di Vin riguardo al 'doorway reset' per entrare in una nuova stanza con sicurezza.
- Impara dai feedback: Chiedi a un amico di darti feedback sulla tua comunicazione e sulla tua sicurezza. Questo ti aiuterà a migliorare ulteriormente.
Utilizzando queste tecniche di shadow speak e applicando i suggerimenti di Vin, sarai in grado di migliorare le tue impressioni iniziali e di comunicare in modo più efficace in inglese. Ricorda, la pratica costante è fondamentale per imparare l'inglese con youtube e affinare le tue abilità linguistiche.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | they've been trying · you've also been trying |
| “Used to” used to + verbo — un’abitudine o uno stato passato che non è più vero | used to do · used to always look |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | I've met · I've come · they've even said |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is connected · is made · be earned |
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.