शैडोइंग अभ्यास: How I stopped feeling lonely FOREVER (and you can too) - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Oh my god, she got engaged?

⏸ रुका हुआ

गति:

185 वाक्य

यदि वाक्य बहुत छोटे या लंबे हों, तो समायोजित करने के लिए Edit पर क्लिक करें।

Oh my god, she got engaged?

To who?

Damn, that ring is so pretty.

Wait, I know these girls.

When did they get closer and why wasn't I invited?

I literally have 2,000 followers,

but I don't even talk to anybody.

I should just start on following people.

We know this feeling so well,

constantly surrounded by people yet still painfully lonely.

But you're not crazy.

For most of my life,

I felt like the side character too,

seeing people I knew hang out with each other yet never being invited.

Watching people at school get into relationships,

but waiting for someone to ask me out.

I knew people liked me,

but why did I feel so alone most of the time?

If you've ever felt like this and wondered why no one seems to notice you,

I have the answer.

And it's not some generic self-help advice that doesn't actually work.

After years of struggling with chronic loneliness,

this is how I reversed my thinking and lifestyle to overcome it

and how you can do the same so that you'll never feel lonely again.

But first, we need to understand why do we feel lonely?

Loneliness is complicated and it can have many causes such as loss,

breakups, moving locations, etc. But in essence,

loneliness happens when there is a disconnect between the relationships we want to have and the relationships we actually have.

Despite having several friends, you might still feel lonely because you feel you lack meaningful relationships.

And this is why most people these days are lonely.

Statistically, one out of every four adults worldwide experienced loneliness,

with 30% of Americans aged 18 to 24 saying that they were lonely every day or several times a week.

With this era of social media,

it has undoubtedly made us the opposite of social.

Despite having tons of followers and online connections,

we lack meaningful relationships in real life,

and this was exactly how I felt.

In high school, I definitely had friends.

There were people I talked to every day,

and we would even hang out after class.

In college, I literally lived in the most social dorm on campus

and I made it an effort to make as many friends as I could my first year.

But at night when everyone else had going out plans, I had none.

I was hoping someone would invite me to hang out,

but that text never came.

I spent so many nights going to bed early wondering why I had no real friends.

I mean, did these people just not care about me the way I cared about them?

And it got me thinking,

why do I care so much?

I mean why did I place so much value in other people more than myself?

And so fast forward a few years later,

I graduated, moved back home,

left all my friends across the country,

and basically had to restart my life.

All of a sudden, I was by myself again,

but it felt different this time.

I was alone, but I wasn't lonely.

And so these are the exact things I did that helped me overcome my chronic loneliness and finally get meaningful relationships.

The biggest reason I felt so lonely back then was because of this power dynamic I created in my mind.

That all my friends and the people I knew were more important,

more outgoing, and more likable than me.

And that's the biggest problem right there.

Because you cannot devalue yourself to get other people to like you.

The truth is, I was just as important,

just as outgoing, and just as likable as everyone else, if not more.

So this is your reality check.

You have to build up your self-esteem to overcome your loneliness.

You cannot be insecure about yourself and expect massive change.

The other thing I realized is that my loneliness has nothing to do with other people and them ignoring me.

It has everything to do with myself.

I am the reason I'm lonely.

Because how can I expect other people to like me when I don't even like myself?

How can I expect other people to want to get to know me when I don't even know who I am?

We tend to blame external things as the root of our problems when really 99% of the time it starts from within.

And so finally, that is when I began to build a real relationship with myself.

Because at the end of the day,

the only person that is going to give the most shits about you is you.

Everyone is only thinking about themselves.

And I realized it was time I started to think about myself for once.

Who is Allison?

What does Allison like to do for fun?

What makes Allison happy?

And it scared me because I couldn't even answer my own questions.

I was just so disconnected from myself because I was so focused on getting other people to like me.

So remember, the first step to overcoming loneliness is to build a real relationship with yourself.

You need to fall in love with you.

Figure out everything that makes you happy and go do them.

You don't need to wait for anybody else.

Like for me, it was writing,

cooking, going to cafes alone,

window shopping, and truthfully, I felt guilty doing some of these things because it felt almost selfish and in vain.

But really, when you prioritize your own needs and wants,

it is the opposite of selfish.

Because you no longer need anyone to fill the void.

Nobody can fulfill you except you.

Not even your boyfriend or girlfriend.

And until you believe this,

you will keep being disappointed again and again.

Remember, loneliness isn't about needing more people.

100

It's a sign that you've abandoned yourself.

101

When I think back to those nights in college when I was alone in my dorm on a Friday night,

102

the biggest emotion I actually felt was resentment.

103

Resentful that my friends could just forget about me and our friendship.

104

It felt like everyone was so fake and didn't actually value me the way I valued them.

105

When I graduated and moved back home, the resentment followed me.

106

I had just started YouTube and wanted nothing more than to have a content creator friend.

107

But after months of checking my DMs, no one reached out.

108

I literally thought, well, I guess I just don't have enough followers yet.

109

Everyone must think I'm a scrub.

110

But you see, neither of these situations were actually reality.

111

The thing that was keeping me lonely were these negative thought patterns and having a victim mentality.

112

To overcome loneliness, I had to stop sitting around feeling sorry for myself and actually take action.

113

I had to stop waiting and start reaching out to people.

114

It sounds like common sense,

115

but in practice, it's actually extremely scary because I used to think that people just didn't want to hear from me.

116

And I hated the thought of getting rejected.

117

It like, it terrified me.

118

But you know that cheesy inspirational quote that says,

119

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take?

120

Well, it's actually 100% the truth.

121

You cannot wait for someone to check in on you because that is the self-fulfilling prophecy that only reinforces your loneliness.

122

You will be waiting for days, weeks, months.

123

You cannot rely on other people to fix your problems for you.

124

No one is coming to save you,

125

so you need to save yourself and reach out to them.

126

Because the reality is all the fears and negative thoughts you have about other people are never actually true.

127

If anything, most people are happy to receive a text from someone else.

128

People like to be invited to things because it makes them feel wanted.

129

So be that person that takes initiative first.

130

The worst thing that can happen is they say no and if they do then move on to the next person.

131

It is not that deep.

132

Connection starts when someone is brave enough to go first so I chose to be that person.

133

I started to DM random girls in my city that I wanted to be friends with.

134

Yeah not everyone responded but eventually I met some really amazing woman that I still talk with to this day.

135

Reaching out is a muscle and you have to train it,

136

but it is the secret to how I overcame my loneliness.

137

Only you have the power to change your situation because being lonely has nothing to do with other people.

138

It has everything to do with you.

139

However, if I'm being honest,

140

the real secret to how I overcame loneliness wasn't going on solo dates or even reaching out to strangers.

141

It was actually finding purpose outside other people.

142

It sounds crazy like, Alison,

143

how could you ever give people that much control over your life?

144

But I legitimately used to believe that my goal in life was to be liked by as many people as possible.

145

Because without their opinions of me, who was I?

146

I needed to know how others felt about me so that I could decide how I felt about myself.

147

It's messed up, but subconsciously that's how a lot of people think.

148

I had just gotten out of a two

149

and a half year relationship my last semester in college and that breakup made me realize that I had lost all purpose.

150

I had no boyfriend anymore,

151

no friends, and no identity and it terrified me that it had gotten to that point.

152

So when I moved back home after that semester,

153

I did the one thing I had been neglecting my whole life.

154

I started YouTube and suddenly there was no more time or energy to spend feeling sorry for myself.

155

I was so swept up in writing,

156

filming, and editing content for the 17 people who were subscribed to me at the time.

157

It sounds pointless, but at the time,

158

that was my saving grace.

159

Realizing that I actually wasn't alone and could connect with thousands of other people across the world became my motivation.

160

Purpose gives you something to wake up for,

161

something bigger than waiting for someone to text you back.

162

It shifts your focus from who's thinking of me to what impact can I make today.

163

The more I poured into my purpose,

164

the less space my loneliness had to grow.

165

You have to understand that your purpose is not determined by how other people feel about you.

166

It's how you feel about yourself.

167

It wasn't until I stopped living for other people and started living for myself that the loneliness began to fade.

168

So if you keep giving others the power to control how you feel,

169

you will forever stay lonely.

170

But if you give yourself the freedom to build a meaningful relationship with yourself,

171

you will be surprised at how many people will want to build one with you.

172

If you're feeling lonely right now,

173

it does not mean you're broken.

174

It does not mean nobody likes you.

175

It's just a wake-up call to find a more meaningful connection with yourself.

176

And if you're having trouble getting started,

177

I want you to write down three ways you can make yourself happy this week and do one of them.

178

And if that means making the first move with someone,

179

then do it because you never know if they're also waiting to.

180

If any of this resonated with you,

181

then leave me a comment below and let's chat.

182

I read everything you write,

183

so consider this as your first step to overcoming loneliness.

184

As always, thank you so much for being here and I'll see you in the next one.

185

Bye!

TRENDING

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

☕ हमें एक कॉफी पिलाएं

आपके समर्थन के कारण ShadowingEnglish 100% मुफ्त है। सर्वर और AI की लागत अधिक है — आपकी कॉफी हमें आगे बढ़ने में मदद करती है! 🙏

PayPal के माध्यम से दान करें

ShadowingEnglish.com – अंग्रेज़ी शैडोइंग अभ्यास

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: How I stopped feeling lonely FOREVER (and you can too) - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

लोकप्रिय

इस पाठ के बारे में

मुख्य शब्दावली और वाक्यांश

अभ्यास टिप्स

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: How I stopped feeling lonely FOREVER (and you can too) - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

ऐप डाउनलोड करें

इस पाठ के बारे में

मुख्य शब्दावली और वाक्यांश

अभ्यास टिप्स

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?