शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Your Imagination Won't Fix Your Life - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

You're thinking, okay, if I had done this, then this would be different.

If I had done this, then this would be different.

Your mind is literally spending your problem -solving energy to change the past into a hypothetical present.

And then the question becomes, where do you go from here?

You can't go anywhere from here because that's not real, it's a fantasy.

Hey y 'all, in today's video, we're breaking down how you can accidentally prevent yourself from improving in life

because you're too busy solving problems in a fantasy world instead of the real world.

This is something that a lot of people have been asking about for Mental Illness Awareness Week, and I originally made this video as part of Dr. K's Guide to Depression.

It's something that I noticed a lot of my patients would do.

They'd be too busy solving the problems in their head in order to actually solve the problems in the real world.

The Guide to Depression is a piece of Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health, and if y 'all want to learn more, check out the link in the description below.

Let's talk a little bit about something that I call the fantasy trap.

For some people who describe themselves as depressed, what they really do is like have a bunch of regret.

The quality of their depression is about regret over past actions.

So they kind of look back in their life and they kind of will say things like, oh, I screwed it all up.

You know, if I hadn't done this, then everything would have been fine.

And they feel really hopeless now.

But the nature of their hopelessness was that something happened in the past.

And what happened in the past was so definitive, was so final, that they're kind of screwed for the rest of their life.

And so what their mind does is really focuses on that regret, focuses on that mistake in the past.

And they have this case of what I call the shoulda, woulda, couldas.

And so their mind, if you talk to them, they'll say things like, oh, if I had done this, if I could have done this, if I would have done that, then everything would be different today.

And oftentimes, these people also live in kind of like a world of fantasy.

So in their mind, they kind of are constantly thinking about how things would be different today.

And they kind of imagine like, oh, if I hadn't made those mistakes, imagine how awesome my life would be now.

It's their mind kind of lives in this fantasy.

And instead of sort of doing anything about it, they kind of are stuck in this, what I call a fantasy trap.

So the first thing that we have to do is understand, okay, like what is the nature of fantasy?

How does fantasy work in our mind?

And this is where I'm going to share a little bit about my own experience.

So I remember, you know, when I used to fantasize a lot as a kid.

So I was young and generally speaking scrawny.

So I would get bullied a lot in school.

And so I remember like it's, I kind of remember it like it was yesterday.

You know, when I get bullied, like these kids would be bigger than me.

Sometimes they were like one or even two years older.

And so I'd get bullied by this big kid.

And I would feel like really, really sad and ashamed of myself, right?

Like you feel so bad when you get bullied.

Everyone's laughing at you.

And the bully and everyone else kind of gets bored of like beating up on you and they kind of walk away.

And I'd be sitting there like holding back my tears, feeling really bad about myself.

And then my mind would start to think.

It'd start to think about how I'm going to learn martial arts, right?

It's going to be like super karate kid up in here.

And I'm going to learn how to like defend myself.

And then one day the bully is going to show up and I'm going to teach him a lesson, right? that's what's going to happen and then i'm going to kick his ass

and then everyone's going to start cheering and then i'm

and then what it's kind of bizarre

but there there i am on the playing on the playground

and i feel the sense of triumph which is really bizarre

because i just got bullied but my mind now suddenly i feel

so good about myself i feel righteous and there's justice

and he's gonna get what he deserves and i'm gonna be the one

that to give it to him so i feel

so good about myself if you stop

and think about it like what the heck just happened there

and there i was feeling ashamed about myself there i was feeling

so negative about myself

and my mind played this little trick on me right my mind started to fantasize

and then what happened to the negative emotion it suddenly became a sense of triumph

so the first thing to understand is

that fantasy is our mind's way of taking a negative emotion and transforming it into something positive.

Taking that negative emotion, and then when we run through that little script in our mind, we kind of feel relieved in the present.

And why is that even a problem, right?

So if we really think about it, you know, fantasy is like pretty cool.

It's like a way of coping with negative emotions.

You can kind of imagine how things would have been different, and then you feel good about yourself.

And even those people who come into my office filled with regret

when they fantasize they imagine right

so there they are thinking oh my god my life is terrible i screwed it all up tons

and tons of negative emotion and so

when they fantasize they think oh imagine how things could have

been i would have had tons of friends i would have

been super successful i would have been you know i would have found

that next tech company or I would have developed the first crypto coin if only, oh man, that would be so awesome.

and they feel good about themselves so then what's the problem with

that right why is that why is that a bad thing

because our mind clearly transforms negative emotion into positive emotion

when we fantasize the reason that's a problem is

because most of our energy most of our learning

and a lot of our motivation actually comes from negative emotion

if you look at what spurs human beings forward it's usually negative emotion

and even if we look at our brain what we find is the parts of our brain

that experience negative emotion are actually very very close to

and quite connected with our with the learning centers of the brain

and you'll understand this very easily

if you have like you know 10 good experiences at one restaurant

but then the 11th time you get sick

when you eat there you're not going to want to eat at

that restaurant again because our mind learns so much and

so much of our behavior is actually dictated by our negative emotion and And our amygdala, which experiences so much of our negative emotion,

is literally right up against our hippocampus in our brain.

So the connections are very, very strong between the negative emotional parts of our brain and the learning parts of our brain.

And so now we can see why people who are in the fantasy trap are kind of stuck, right?

Because instead of using that negativity to spur them forward, instead of using that negativity to actually change their behavior and make a change in their life,

when they engage in fantasy trap they sort of pull the plug on

that negative emotion it kind of drains away

and then they end up doing nothing to fix their life

100

and this is also what we see in other kinds of distracting things

101

so for example video games and substances when we feel bad about ourselves

102

and we play these video games where we use substances it shuts down our emotional centers of the brain

103

and then we actually don't make any changes in our life

104

so this is the first thing to understand about the fantasy trap, is that it replaces negative emotion with positive emotion.

105

And when we replace that negative emotion with positive emotion, we actually deprive ourselves of a lot of fuel to actually make positive changes in our life.

106

So let's just kind of take a quick look at this and kind of diagram it out, okay?

107

So here I am feeling sad about myself in the present.

108

Oh no, look at how much I screwed up in life.

109

I made so many mistakes and I am destined to be a loser.

110

So then what happens is we're thinking about all of this regret.

111

Okay?

112

And so then what does the fantasy trap do?

113

There we are feeling bad about ourselves and it rewrites history, right?

114

So then we come up with this other history in our mind where if I had done this differently, if I had done that differently,

115

then life would be different and I wouldn't be the person

116

that i am today and so the first thing that

117

that does is we notice the emotional change right here's the negative emotion

118

and here's the positive emotion

119

so even by doing this what we've done is deprive ourselves of some of

120

that motivation that comes from negative energy there's another energetic component to this as well

121

which is that simply the mind can't do everything

122

so our mind has a limited amount of energy

123

and we can only fix or focus or expend our energy thinking about one thing at a time.

124

So if we think about this scenario, what have we actually spent our mental energy doing?

125

We've spent our mental energy to rewrite history.

126

And this is a really, what I'm about to say next is really confusing because it's so damn simple, but rewriting history is never going to make your life better

127

you literally cannot rewrite history the present is the present your life is your life

128

so when you spend 10 or 15 minutes dumping the energy in your mind

129

because think what you're doing here right you're doing

130

so much problem solving you're thinking okay

131

if i had done this then this would be different

132

if i had done this then this would be different your

133

mind is literally spending your problem solving energy to change the past into a hypothetical present.

134

And then the question becomes, where do you go from here?

135

You can't go anywhere from here because that's not real.

136

It's a fantasy.

137

When your mind rewrites history, it creates a false present and you spent all of your energy in doing this.

138

And so this is the second reason that you stay stuck

139

because you expend all of your energy to create a false present and you can't actually move anywhere from a false present.

140

So now the question becomes, what do we do about the fantasy trap?

141

How do we change things?

142

The first thing to understand is that you have to tolerate negative emotion.

143

So what I want y 'all to do is to notice that when you're feeling bad about yourself, watch your mind go back to the past and watch your mind rewrite history.

144

And I want you to try to stop doing that and just sit with that negativity in the moment.

145

It can be really overwhelming at first but just sit with those negative thoughts okay i made mistakes

146

My life isn't very good right now.

147

And then what we're gonna do is ask yourselves, what am I gonna do now?

148

So instead of asking yourself, because this is where your mind goes, what should I have done differently?

149

Because you can ask that question as many times as you want to.

150

It's gonna feel really good.

151

You can problem solve the past until the end of time, and it will never change today.

152

So instead of asking yourself or focusing on what you should have done, ask yourself, what am I going to do now?

153

So what we really want you to do is instead of looking to the past, because this is the problem in depression, remember, is that our mind is focused on the past

154

when things were okay and then rewriting to the present and creating a false future,

155

what we want to do is redirect that energy to looking forward, right?

156

And asking yourself, what can I do now?

157

because this is where your cognitive energy needs to go you need to be focused on the present

158

and everyone says focus on the present man live in the present bro it's

159

so awesome we're gonna be so mindful

160

and we're like living in the present like I try to live life in the present

161

which is why I don't pay my bills

162

and I don't take out the trash

163

because I'm living life in the present what people don't realize is

164

that living in the in the present sucks it's brutal because when you live in the present,

165

you have to sit there and acknowledge all the crap that you've done and where you are.

166

And that moving forward from this point is not easy.

167

The reason it's so damn hard to live in the present is because living in the present is terrible.

168

But we've still got to do it.

169

It's our only way forward.

170

I know it sounds really bizarre.

171

It's another one of those super profound statements that sounds so obvious.

172

It's dumb.

173

You can't live anywhere except for the present like literally the only thing

174

that i can do is move my hand around now i can't move what i did a minute ago

175

and i can't move what i'm going to do a minute

176

from now the only time action can be taken is from the present

177

and the problem with the fantasy trap is

178

that it lets us get out of the present it absolves us of dealing with the present and

179

if it absolves us of dealing with the present we can't

180

actually move forward the you can also create fantasies in the future right you can say, oh, if I did this today, then imagine what the future would be like.

181

But the problem is that any action has to be taken in the present.

182

So if we want to overcome the fantasy trap, we don't want to switch from the past to the future.

183

Remember, the question that we ask ourselves is, what do I do today?

184

Okay, fine.

185

I'm in this place and this place sucks.

186

What am I going to do about it now?

187

You don't ask yourself where you're going to wind up.

188

Don't worry about the outcome.

189

Ask yourself, what is the first step that I need to take?

190

What is the next step that I need to take?

191

What is the step that I need to take right now?

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इस पाठ की शब्दावली और बोलने के सुझाव

इस वीडियो में शैडोइंग के लिए 191 वाक्य और 2573 शब्द हैं। बोला गया हिस्सा 12:52 लंबा है। वक्ता तेज़ बोलता है, लगभग 200 शब्द प्रति मिनट, इसलिए जुड़ी हुई और कमज़ोर ध्वनियाँ ज़्यादा मिलेंगी। 88% शब्द अंग्रेज़ी के 3,000 सबसे आम शब्दों में से हैं, इसलिए शब्दावली आसान है।

इस वीडियो की मुख्य शब्दावली

वीडियो के 15 सीखने लायक शब्द, उच्चारण और अर्थ के साथ:

शब्द	उच्चारण	अर्थ
emotion संज्ञा	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	भावना, जज़्बा
solve क्रिया	/sɒlv/	सुलझाना, हल करना
bully संज्ञा	/ˈbʊli/	क्रूर, दबंग
regret क्रिया	/ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/	पछताना
ton संज्ञा	/tʌn/	टन
suck क्रिया	/sʌk/	चूसना
substance संज्ञा	/ˈsʌbstəns/	पदार्थ, वस्तु
motivation संज्ञा	/ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/	अभिप्रेरण, प्रेरणा
ashamed विशेषण	/əˈʃeɪmd/	शर्मिंदा
spur संज्ञा	/spɝ/	महमेज़
hypothetical विशेषण	/ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/	काल्पनिक
trick संज्ञा	/ˈtɹɪk/	चाल
defend क्रिया	/dɪˈfɪnd/	रक्षा करना
lesson संज्ञा	/ˈlɛs.ən/	पाठ, सबक़
trash संज्ञा	/tɹæʃ/	कूड़ा

ध्यान देने योग्य उच्चारण

वक्ता 60 बार संक्षिप्त रूपों का प्रयोग करता है, जैसे I'm, can't, you're। इन्हें वैसे ही छोटा बोलें जैसा आप सुनते हैं।

“sh” और “zh” की ध्वनियाँ: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/, trash /tɹæʃ/, martial /ˈmɑɹʃəl/
लंबे शब्द — बलाघात सही रखें: differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/, accidentally /ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/, definitive /dɪˈfɪn.ɪ.tɪv/

इस वीडियो से अभ्यास कैसे करें

पहले बिना बोले पूरा वीडियो एक बार सुनें और जो शब्द नहीं आते उन्हें लिख लें।
0.75× गति से शुरू करें, एक-एक वाक्य की शैडोइंग करें, और सहज लगने पर सामान्य गति पर लौटें।
अपनी आवाज़ रिकॉर्ड करें और मूल से तुलना करें, ख़ासकर emotion, solve, bully जैसे शब्दों पर ध्यान दें।

इस वीडियो का व्याकरण

वक्ता जिन संरचनाओं का सबसे अधिक प्रयोग करता है, वीडियो के असली शब्दों के साथ:

संरचना	वीडियो में
शर्त वाले वाक्य if + उपवाक्य, will/would + क्रिया — शर्त और उसका नतीजा	if you talk to them, they'll say · if only, oh man, that would be
Passive voice be + past participle — ज़ोर इस पर कि क्या होता है, न कि कौन करता है	are stuck · is actually dictated · is focused
Present perfect have/has + past participle — बीता हुआ काम जिसका असर अभी भी है	we've done · We've spent · have done
Relative clauses who / which + उपवाक्य — व्यक्ति या वस्तु के बारे में अतिरिक्त जानकारी	people who describe · triumph which is · people who come

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग तकनीक: पूरी चरण-दर-चरण गाइड पढ़ें →

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Your Imagination Won't Fix Your Life - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

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इस पाठ की शब्दावली और बोलने के सुझाव

इस वीडियो की मुख्य शब्दावली

ध्यान देने योग्य उच्चारण

इस वीडियो से अभ्यास कैसे करें

इस वीडियो का व्याकरण

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?