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1
Come on, they've got to get this flower spitfire.
2
Dad, just sit down.
3
We're trying to watch telly.
4
Just leave the flying man there.
5
Can't you hear it, boss?
6
That's a big flying man.
7
Dad, you're going to knock the...
8
Just sit down.
9
We're trying to watch the telly, man. Where is he?
10
They're gone now.
11
Come on, if you're mad.
12
They're gone.
13
They're gone.
14
They're gone.
15
It just went past your face.
16
Oh, there's two.
17
There's one.
18
There's one there, look.
19
HE LAUGHS HE LAUGHS HE LAUGHS HE LAUGHS HE LAUGHS Feeling a little spin coming on, Shil?
20
HE LAUGHS This is levelled up, this, hasn't it?
21
Oh!
22
OK, brace yourself, Jane, get ready.
23
Yeah, OK.
24
Yeah, hot girl, Ron.
25
Let's go.
26
What?
27
Oh, dear!
28
That was just the intro.
29
And the electric's gone already.
30
HE LAUGHS I don't want him to be shot dead.
31
He's quite good -looking.
32
Oh, no!
33
If I looked like that, I wouldn't wear a blouse ever.
34
Oh, no, you like that sort of thing with custard, don't you?
35
Oh, I love that, yes.
36
Oh, yes!
37
Paul.
38
Paul, clever you.
39
Interesting.
40
What does that mean in reality?
41
Oh, this is a tearjerker.
42
Oh, boring.
43
This is serious.
44
Vicky McClure has been shot twice.
45
In the week Andy met Donald for the first time, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
46
Dooley was digging deep on the BBC.
47
How much did your surgery cost?
48
It was...
49
You can give me a ballpark figure, whatever you feel comfortable.
50
Right around £100 ,000.
51
£100 ,000?
52
Yeah.
53
Well, if you haven't got the money, Jenny, you live with it.
54
Of course you do.
55
That's all you do.
56
You live with what you're not happy with in your own thing.
57
Look at me.
58
I always think my nose is big, and I know it isn't, but I think it is.
59
Well, it is.
60
What, are you going to have a nose job?
61
You've got a lot more to water on your face before you get your nose done.
62
I'd leave that well last.
63
Politicians were pretending to be at war on Skye.
64
So the aircraft knows where the submarine is now and is circling it.
65
That puts the aircraft at some risk.
66
Yes.
67
If you want that submarine sunk, it's now.
68
What would you have done now if you were Prime Minister Gove?
69
I wouldn't newcomers, or...
70
Bosse, man.
71
No. Before we know it.
72
We don't have the power to do it.
73
Bosse, you'd just be sitting there like you'd be eating borscht.
74
Is that a Russian dish?
75
Yeah.
76
Sounds nice.
77
I'm eating cabbage, isn't it?
78
The great British borscht offer.
79
Yeah, and doing the, what's it called?
80
The Cossack.
81
And it wasn't just the ovens getting turned on on Channel 4.
82
Could there be a more Nigella word than sumptuous?
83
Go on, Nigella.
84
OK, I want it really sumptuous.
85
I'm like a moist chocolate cake dripping in the ganache.
86
OK, enough of this, please.
87
You're watching a bit too much, Nigel.
88
You're doing too much now.
89
With the hot, filthy custard on top.
90
No, please, please, stop.
91
My ears...
92
..even hot.
93
My ears...
94
Stop.
95
Nigel is doing something to me.
96
SHE LAUGHS She is such a bad influence, honestly.
97
in all oh are you comfy i am i am very comfy
98
i was having become seen i was thinking god i'm real uncomfy best friends jenny
99
and lee anyway i went through to the toilet you know what i'd done i'd only put my knickers on
100
and my leghole was on my waist i was crippled I thought, what on earth?
101
And I'd be sat half an hour and I was going, I thought, what the hell's up with these knickers?
102
They had the leg all round my waist.
103
On Tuesday, Channel 4 was back putting our willpower to the test for cash again.
104
Tense and Fortune back, third series.
105
But very different presenter.
106
Yes, Patrick McGuinness hasn't been tented by the Fortune that was on offer.
107
No. Whereas Rob has.
108
Yes.
109
I tell you what I couldn't turn down if I was on that Tempton Island.
110
Garlic sauce.
111
Some people are just...selfish.
112
You see, now, if I were to go on here with you,
113
Mum and Paige, right, the one way to get rid of that 300k prize pot, We just put a little home bargains on there.
114
Home bargains on there.
115
Prize pot gone.
116
Yeah.
117
I'm sat there, you know, eating my own underpants.
118
You lot shopping.
119
I've got some bin air freshener.
120
Yeah.
121
Why?
122
Shit, Ed.
123
I'm here because I wanted an adventure.
124
We're just heading into the unknown, aren't we?
125
Now, she sounds like she's just gone for a sort of free holiday.
126
She's a character.
127
She's a woman at a certain point in her life, and she's a character.
128
My husband tries to stop me splurging.
129
So she's used to spending other people's money.
130
Yeah.
131
Bit like you, darling.
132
I'm piss off.
133
Tight -ass that he is, I cannot wait to break free and say, sod it, I'm doing this for me.
134
So she's going to be a nightmare, isn't she?
135
Nah, she...
136
Do you think she's going to pull it round?
137
I don't know whether she's going to pull it round, but she's going to be Belter Television.
138
I should be mint television, but she'll be an absolute nightmare for the other people on the island.
139
Would this be an appropriate moment for me to say, you've got this, or would that not be the appropriate moment, Mary?
140
No, probably thousands of people are saying, you've got this, love.
141
I know what you're thinking, how can anyone survive such a tough, brutal and unforgiving place?
142
Or you do what they did in Grimsby, and you open a Greggs.
143
Greggs!
144
If anything's going to get me in a jungle, it's a Greggs.
145
I would know your Greggs order.
146
Let me guess.
147
Sausage, bean and cheese melt, gingerbread and a cappuccino.
148
Correct.
149
This is the biggest test of their willpower they've faced so far.
150
Only question is, will they find these prices hard to swallow?
151
£125.
152
Whoever goes and gets that is an idiot.
153
How much is a doughnut?
154
There, you OK, babe?
155
I feel really sick and dizzy.
156
Oh, no, sick and dizzy already.
157
You need a sausage roll.
158
That cheese and onion pass is calling your name, hon. They are less than a kilometre into their trek.
159
That's brilliant.
160
And Sarah's already struggling.
161
It'll be a while.
162
That's me.
163
Less than a kilometre.
164
One foot in the jungle, I'm like, take me home.
165
It's just...
166
I know it's going to be tough, but...
167
I didn't think we were going to be walking up to 800 metres.
168
That's a lot of metres.
169
There's always that option that there's a taxi for £2 ,000.
170
No!
171
She's seriously thinking about a taxi for £2 ,000.
172
Do you still lose the money if someone goes missing in the jungle?
173
How do you feel, Sarah?
174
You up for that?
175
Yeah.
176
She did not hesitate!
177
No, Carla, she's good.
178
She did not hesitate.
179
She is a good winner player.
180
She said...
181
Yeah, that'll totally get me through, yeah, yeah.
182
Oh, my God.
183
Oh, thank God there's a Greg's here.
184
I'll just have a coffee and wait for the others.
185
Yeah.
186
If she goes and buys anything...
187
She's going to buy ten sausage rolls now.
188
I literally...
189
Scoff them down.
190
No, I'd murder her when I got there.
191
She would.
192
Especially because I have been well today.
193
I thought, am I bloody well seeing things here?
194
Because I haven't been well today.
195
Feeling a bit better now.
196
That's in the grangs.
197
Calma custard doughnut, yes, please.
198
White chocolate cookie, yes, please.
199
What would you like?
200
Come and have a look.
201
Come and have a look?
202
Come on, come on.
203
I don't even know.
204
What would I even pick?
205
A steak bake?
206
A steak bake is...
207
240?
208
240. Oh, I'd have to have one.
209
I'd probably have a steak bake with a chicken bake chaser.
210
She's going to take the piss, isn't she?
211
Don't.
212
Come on.
213
Steak bake.
214
Steak bake?
215
No!
216
Oh, my God.
217
£240 for a steak bake.
218
Oh, no!
219
You get a drink for £100 more if you buy a pasty.
220
Can I get one?
221
Yeah.
222
Get one.
223
Greedy bastards getting a meal deal.
224
It's not complete without a drink.
225
Do you know what I mean?
226
Can I have a donut?
227
Ah!
228
I needed some sugar.
229
The steak's gorgeous.
230
The pastry's gorgeous.
231
Oh, what is this woman like?
232
That's a taste sensation.
233
Mmm, that's a taste sensation.
234
I did get the meal deal, so I saved a bit of cash there. That is my mentality.
235
We are the same person, we cut from the same cloth.
236
Girl maths.
237
I think I'd feel so ashamed if I'd succumbed.
238
That's because of your chapel -going background, Mary.
239
I've never been near a chapel.
240
Yesterday, I was shopping, I saw a suede jacket.
241
I said, ooh, it's giving autumn vibes, you know?
242
I liked it, it was brown, it was suede, it felt good on my skin.
243
And I didn't know how much it was, I didn't bother looking.
244
I just found my size and I went to the till.
245
She goes, that'll be 125.
246
I said, what?
247
And I said, run the card, mate.
248
Run the card.
249
That's me!
250
Went to the shop last night, right?
251
Like, Paige putting the kids to bed.
252
I went, I need to get some ink for the printer.
253
She went, oh, well, can you get some crets for the kids during the morning?
254
Can you get some crets for the...
255
I went, yeah, I'll get them.
256
Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
257
So I went to the shop.
258
I got my ink, I got the crepes, I put them in the cupboard.
259
I thought, I'll not leave them on the side like an animal.
260
I'll put them away, I'll save for her job.
261
Put them away.
262
Anyway, Paige just put the kids to bed.
263
I'm sat on the couch, she comes wandering in.
264
Where's the crepes?
265
You've not got the crepes and the kids.
266
I'm going to have to go out now.
267
I went, have a look in the cupboard and then come back and apologise to me.
268
On Monday night, our favourite roving redhead was back on the BBC.
269
She's got a lovely house as Stacey Doola.
270
I follow her on Instagram, she's always sharing her own pics.
271
Ooh.
272
Love her style.
273
These days, we're all being bombarded with health advice on social media.
274
Mm -hm.
275
Today, I am doing a snail facial.
276
Oh, my God, that's some shit I would do.
277
I had salmon sperm injected into my eyes recently.
278
I'm into all that shit.
279
I've got to look at this.
280
I used to follow the trend of wrapping cling film round your belly when you do your workouts.
281
It helps, apparently, it helps you, like...
282
That's where all the cling film were.
283
I was wondering what happened to the cling film in her.
284
I am en route to a leg lengthening centre.
285
Yeah, this is what I need!
286
Yeah!
287
OK, this will be interesting.
288
Simon?
289
I know very little, but what I do know is that they break both your legs.
290
What?
291
There you go.
292
Who would want to do this?
293
If you're a single guy and you're dating and you get told, oh, you have to be over six foot,
294
as a 5ft 11 .5 man, that's quite triggering.
295
And then you have to teach yourself to walk again.
296
Fuck that, I'd rather be small.
297
I don't know if you're a short king, just accept it.
298
I didn't quite believe it was real.
299
Until I came across Dr Draw Paley, a leading expert in leg lengthening.
300
Leg lengthening, what is the word coming in?
301
I've had me table legs lengthened.
302
I've had them done.
303
I've got them mediah.
304
Today is just another Tuesday.
305
Just another Tuesday, snapping legs.
306
Oh, I don't want to see it.
307
I don't want to see it.
308
Get ready to tell me, Natty.
309
Oh, no. Don't do noises.
310
Is he starting to saw it?
311
No, he's, um, he's using a drill.
312
Oh!
313
Oh, my God!
314
I think we're in the process of breaking the leg.
315
What's he doing?
316
He's breaking it in two.
317
He's breaking it in two.
318
Is he a doctor or a stonemason?
319
I know.
320
You see, I've had my leg drilled and all and pinned and all that locks.
321
I snapped it in half, didn't I, playing rugby at school?
322
Yeah, I was listening to him drilling it all.
323
It was gross.
324
Derek fell on me leg.
325
Upstairs in physiotherapy...
326
Surely it's not worth going through all of that.
327
You've got to learn to walk again.
328
Jesse, who started out at 5 '5", is three months in.
329
Three months in and he's still on his toes?
330
No, if you're 5 '5", I get it, though.
331
That's short.
332
I'm 5 '5".
333
Don't do it, Dad.
334
So, how much taller are you?
335
Right at two inches taller.
336
OK.
337
Is that it?
338
Two inches.
339
So, what, he's going to be 5 '7"?
340
No. No, I'm done.
341
You don't have to answer this, Jesse, but how much did your surgery cost?
342
Very good question.
343
It was...
344
You can give me a ballpark figure, whatever you feel comfortable.
345
Right around 100 ,000.
346
What?!
347
100 ,000?
348
You can get insults for 12 quid.
349
Absolutely.
350
I wonder if you could just have one leg done.
351
LAUGHTER If you can't afford...
352
Why?
353
If you can't afford two, you could have...
354
to better understand how a few extra inches can impact your life
355
i'm meeting one of dr paley's former patients oh here
356
we go oh no he's a basketball player i wonder
357
you've got to be tall haven't you 36 year old brett has had his legs lengthened whoa look at that
358
in 2022 and again in 2024 wow that's a big difference though if you look at it
359
So talk me through how you first decided that you were going to get your legs lengthened.
360
I got divorced in 2019.
361
He could have had a tattoo or had his ear pierced, couldn't he, for goodness' sake?
362
Not your legs extended, you wally.
363
And had to get back into the dating world.
364
Mm -hm.
365
I did straight -up hear people saying, like, I'm more into taller guys and stuff like that.
366
Oh, I see.
367
Yeah, but you've just got to keep looking.
368
There's women out there with short fetishes.
369
Yeah.
370
It's loads.
371
How has it changed your life?
372
I can't put my socks on.
373
They're fucking miles away.
374
I don't know, I can, like, see over the refrigerator now.
375
Like, I don't know oh my days oh wow that's
376
so great i spent 200 grand
377
so i could look over the top of my fridge there's nothing up there
378
but that's rough the taller you are it is seen by most people in the population
379
that's a very positive thing but you are still
380
that same person underneath so whatever that personality is you can be really tall
381
and dull as this water or you can be short and pretty He's fabulous. In Leeds...
382
Oh, my God, Ellie!
383
I can't believe I've remembered and you've forgot.
384
What?
385
It's Mick's birthday today.
386
Oh, my God, it is?
387
He's eight?
388
Oh, no, I've taken him out for a walk this morning and he's had a good off -lead run.
389
Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
390
That's what you tell yourself.
391
I see people throwing dog birthday parties.
392
Oh, no, I'm not that sad to throw my dog a birthday party.
393
And invite friends.
394
I have all on throwing my own kid a birthday party, never mind a bloody dog.
395
Furry children, they don't count.
396
Oh, what an evil wick.
397
I know.
398
And you didn't even remember.
399
Yeah, oh, bless him.
400
He wouldn't like a party.
401
On Tuesday night, a fit foodie was freshening things up in the bake -off tent.
402
Look at me lovely cakes for bake -off.
403
No!
404
Ah!
405
Sean!
406
What's the new...
407
It's, er...
408
Luella...
409
Not Luella.
410
Luella.
411
What's her name? Who?
412
Is it Flo -el...
413
No. Flo -el -ay.
414
Flo -el -ay.
415
Is that it?
416
No. Oh, is it then?
417
What's her name?
418
The posh one.
419
So I'm just going to watch it to watch Nigella.
420
Yeah.
421
And some are just going to watch it to watch Paul and his eyes.
422
The baking could be irrelevant.
423
You're kind of saying we're both happy now.
424
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
425
I can't believe you're leaving.
426
Oh!
427
Oh, Prue!
428
Good luck with the regeneration, yeah?
429
Regeneration?
430
What?
431
Oh, my God, Doctor Who!
432
Don't tell me Prue's leaving the tent or go be fucking Doctor Who. Is she?
433
She better not be.
434
That's ridiculous.
435
We'll never forget you, Prue.
436
See you, Prue.
437
Love you.
438
Doctor Prue, Mary.
439
Pathetically bad.
440
Oh, there she is.
441
What a goddess.
442
I'm going to have to start watching this.
443
You know, it is the absolute dream.
444
She looks lovely, doesn't she, Mary?
445
Beautiful.
446
It's normally really hot in that tent anyway.
447
Yeah.
448
Imagine how hot and steamy it's going to be now and Nigella's in there.
449
I've made us a banana bread for Bake Off, and guess what?
450
It's a Nigella recipe.
451
Ooh, Nigella!
452
The Nigella recipe.
453
In Nigella we trust.
454
We do.
455
All those scones were shite.
456
Yeah, they were, weren't they?
457
hello bakers welcome back to the tent it's time for your showstopper challenge what's
458
it gonna be what ridiculous thing are they gonna have to make this week paul
459
and nigella would love you to create a self -portrait cake a what self -portrait it's got to be them
460
which should consist of at least two tears two tears two tears yeah like a wedding cake
461
i think i'd like to have my face on the first here
462
and then my chins on the second good morning danny good morning i am
463
so so so's excited oh wow so so so so
464
so oh she's happy to show you my bog my what a bog my bog water
465
this cake is vegan vegan
466
and this is all stuff i foraged myself i don't want to taste what you forage
467
if anyone tells me i foraged my ingredients i'll keep it to yourself i'm thinking she is scraps
468
so we've got sticky willy and staying nettle in there sticky willy what she never said
469
that she did sticky rocks sticky willy it's the weed
470
that sticks to your clothes yeah what do we call sticky
471
buds yeah sticky willy nutty is not a very good way to sell a cake is it i don't think
472
it landed that joke no but no you know no harm in trying
473
and trying four hours later it was time to stop baking oh my god
474
that is precarious that looks like it's about to collapse
475
then his cake oh that's toppling that i'm telling you no no no don't don't don't don't
476
Oh, no, no, it's going.
477
Oh, is it going?
478
It's going.
479
It's going, Mary.
480
She's going to go.
481
She's going.
482
I can't even watch.
483
Oh!
484
Yeah!
485
It's getting...
486
Oh, don't be mean.
487
Oh, they love an epic.. collapse shot don't they oh no I'm
488
so sorry no not the floor oh Danny
489
I feel sad oh come here come here come here oh don't be mean
490
I look she's real upset what did we say in the beginning
491
it's just bloody cake it's just cake
492
there's still half of it there unstable cake Danny
493
it's time for your show stopper do you want some help oh no
494
it's a show stop all right i wouldn't even go up to present my work
495
i wouldn't even bother i'm like it's there it's on the floor look at it
496
oh okay oh nigella doesn't look impressed look at nigella's face
497
it looks like it might have had a bit of an accident no shit sherlock i'm
498
so pleased nigella was here to tell us that
499
She is magnolia gem, and she also has stinging nettle and sticky willy in her.
500
I don't think she likes it.
501
I don't think Nigella's happy.
502
Difficulty with vegan baking.
503
Without the eggs, you are missing a certain amount of glue.
504
You can clearly see she's angry by the fact there's no eggs in that cake.
505
She's angry about the whole vegan thing.
506
Yeah, she is.
507
Good on her.
508
Do what Anthony Nigella does and just stick them in and don't tell anyone.
509
HE LAUGHS Auntie Nige, Anna.
510
Auntie Nige?
511
Listen to Auntie Nige, just bang him in and don't tell anyone.
512
Oh, yeah, it's vegan -like.
513
Oh, there are no eggs in this.
514
HE LAUGHS In Surrey...
515
Andre, did you look in the mirror?
516
What's the problem?
517
What's that on your feet?
518
It's called sliders and a pair of socks.
519
What's wrong with that?
520
Sarah, a husband, Andre, and their daughter, Shay.
521
Not even black socks, you know.
522
But, listen, I don't think I need black socks, OK?
523
I need white socks.
524
Why?
525
Because I want them to stand out.
526
I want your mum to be looking at my feet and understanding she's got a man with good feet.
527
You want mum to have a foot fetish?
528
Yes, ma 'am.
529
I don't have a foot fetish, Mr Gordon.
530
That's not what happened last night.
531
Anyway...
532
What?
533
Dad, for goodness sake!
534
Don't you know when to just stop?
535
Dad does not know when to just...
536
This week, the drama in the Dales was dialled up a notch on ITV.
537
If you were in a soap, which one would you be?
538
Neighbours.
539
Oh, in Australia. And Kylie. And Kylie.
540
That's enough of me.
541
I'd be happy. Have you been watching?
542
Do you know what's been happening?
543
No, fill me in.
544
Right, so, Jo's fuming, because Dawn's dead.
545
She had the baby, died, got hit by a car at their proposed wedding venue, but was also trying to run off with her ex, Billy.
546
Joe's fuming, blames Caleb and Ruby because they were meddling in the relationship and now he's after his revenge.
547
He who believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.
548
Oh, here we go.
549
The funeral.
550
Dawn's been buried.
551
Mm.
552
In a bit of a dish, Joe, I think he'll find it relatively easy to move on.
553
Leave him.
554
I think Joe's on a mission, Jane.
555
He is looking like he's got his reputation face on here.
556
Absolutely, yeah.
557
He is a man harbouring anger.
558
We were robbed of a lifetime of love. Whose grave is that?
559
Who's in that grave out in the wilderness?
560
I promised you vengeance.
561
This is going to be brutal.
562
Oh, he's kicked the dirt, Julie.
563
This mean business now.
564
Who the hell is in that grave?
565
That can't be Dawn.
566
Dawn was buried there, where the farm was.
567
Clearly, there's something else going on.
568
Are we going to go underground?
569
Oh, goodness gracious.
570
Let's have a look.
571
Who's in here?
572
It's Ruby.
573
Who's Ruby?
574
Keelum's wife.
575
Who's that?
576
Keelum.
577
That's who Joe is fuming at, who he's blaming for Dawn's death.
578
What's happened?
579
Nothing compared to what's about to happen.
580
Oh, is that a friend?
581
I'd be like, what's coming?
582
I'd be like, is that a friend?
583
I mean, with his face, yeah, I'd be like, what's coming?
584
I'd be like, are you going to kid that man?
585
Don't frame me with a good time!
586
She's alive!
587
No!
588
Joe has buried Ruby alive? In revenge.
589
That's my worst nightmare.
590
Oh, it's everybody's worst nightmare.
591
Being buried alive.
592
Oh, no. Ruby!
593
Ruby!
594
I don't think that's going to help.
595
I don't think that's going to help me.
596
Help!
597
Help!
598
Help me!
599
No!
600
God.
601
Oh, God, help, please, help her.
602
Nobody can hear you!
603
You're six feet under.
604
So, what are you going to do, then?
605
It's not what he's going to do, it's what he's done.
606
Eye for an eye.
607
A tooth for a tooth.
608
You take my girl, I'll take your girl.
609
Coffin.
610
For a coffin.
611
Oh, is he telling?
612
Of course he is.
613
Now, usually, when you give your plans away this early, you've left the gate open for your plans being foiled.
614
I've seen enough Scooby -Doo's to know that to be true.
615
I imagine there's still a tiny bit of air in there.
616
I imagine there's still a tiny bit of air left in there.
617
Sick bastard.
618
Oh, Graham, dear!
619
That's Graham.
620
That's like his stepdad.
621
He's taken her and he's buried her somewhere.
622
He's buried her alive.
623
Yeah.
624
Yeah.
625
What's Graham going to do?
626
What's he going to say to Jo?
627
Leave us.
628
What?
629
Just go.
630
I'd be like, I'm not going anywhere until he tells me where she is.
631
You go and get the shovels.
632
I'm going to have a conversation.
633
Get the shovels!
634
I doubt you dug deeply.
635
I doubt you covered the hole very well.
636
And I'm pretty certain she's on home farm somewhere.
637
Oh, how did you guess that?
638
There's no flowers on Graham, is there?
639
That is all true.
640
Oh, he's digging.
641
Somebody's digging.
642
Oh, the founder!
643
Oh, God, no. Oh, God, don't say she's dead.
644
Is she still alive, then?
645
Well, we need to wait for the ice to flutter.
646
Ruby.
647
Ruby.
648
She ain't looking good.
649
No. She's a bit grey, but she doesn't look dead.
650
Come on.
651
Come on.
652
What do you think, Jane?
653
You've got to go faster than that.
654
Is that it?
655
Is that even trying?
656
My guy's like, just look...
657
She's gone, isn't she?
658
She's dead, I swear to God.
659
Go on, Graham.
660
Right underneath.
661
Oh, God.
662
It's wrecking her rib.
663
Doesn't matter.
664
Ruby, please!
665
There she is!
666
Come on!
667
Oh, textbook!
668
Can I just say, if I was Ruby, yeah, and my husband couldn't even do a CPR on me, it's over.
669
I'd be in love with him.
670
I would be in love with him.
671
He literally gave up.
672
He'd done it for one minute and went, she's gone, isn't she?
673
It's like he wanted her gone.
674
He didn't even try.
675
My guy did this, look.
676
She's gone, isn't it?
677
She's gone.
678
No!
679
She's gone in it.
680
I tried.
681
No effort.
682
I tried. In Wiltshire...
683
Where's that box of celebrations that was on the table?
684
Well, I keep dipping into them, I think.
685
What do you mean?
686
Have you finished them?
687
Well, normally you keep...
688
Have you finished them?
689
You keep them under lock and key, chocolates, and on this occasion I've hidden them, and I'm using them to boost my energy levels.
690
Giles and his wife, Mary..
691
which tend to flag around 11 o 'clock in the morning an hour after i've woken up
692
i'm glad you think it's funny it could be because i'm becoming hyperglycemic
693
in soli hall i've got a bit tubby i need to get back to football walking football
694
teresa and her wife anita i get bored after the first half well i know
695
if the ball came near you you'd go...
696
Yes, because once you...
697
If I hadn't looked on like that, it would have smashed me glasses.
698
Oh, dear.
699
And you scored a goal.
700
That was a mistake, really, wasn't it?
701
It wasn't intentional, I know that much.
702
It ricocheted off my knee.
703
The look of shock on your face when it went in.
704
And everybody else's.
705
You did well, considering you were a defender.
706
on monday sky brought us a brand new reality show
707
which felt a bit too close to home the war game i've been bloody looking forward to seeing this
708
so it's a bit like say there was a conflict i'll
709
Come, we go into the Cobra room.
710
And they go, OK, what are we going to do?
711
We're watching them.
712
OK.
713
But obviously it's fictitious.
714
Thank you.
715
War ain't no game, though.
716
It's a serious business.
717
Me and Auntie Margaret work like this, too meaty.
718
Hmm. Is that Michael Gove?
719
It's Michael Gove.
720
Michael Gove will absolutely be a tripod getting made, Prime Minister.
721
Of course he will.
722
Because he's always been the bridesmaid and never the bride.
723
Yes!
724
Me and Nat like a bit of role play.
725
Are you the PM and he's the Home Secretary?
726
Do you know what?
727
We haven't actually ever done all like that, but I might suggest it.
728
Prime Minister, there's a Russian vessel.
729
Uh -oh.
730
It's called the Orlan.
731
It's in our territorial waters in and around the Orkneys north of Scotland.
732
Blow it up!
733
Simon!
734
Oh, sorry.
735
It's too soon!
736
Okay, okay.
737
This is a suspected Russian spy ship clad as a research vessel.
738
This happened quite recently, didn't it, where there was Russian ships venturing into kind of UK territory.
739
Yeah, that's right, aye.
740
Its function is to locate...
741
Ooh, Nikola Sturgeon!
742
And if necessary, damage things like undersea cables that carry the UK's internet.
743
Ah!
744
No, please destroy it.
745
Please.
746
Not the internet!
747
Not the internet.
748
Not the phones.
749
We must divert this Russian vessel out of UK waters.
750
That's the immediate first response, isn't it?
751
Make contact, tell them to move on.
752
How would you divert it?
753
I'd put, like, diversion in place, didn't it?
754
Like, you know, the yellow signs.
755
You put a cone there?
756
Yeah, I put a cone in the water, yeah.
757
This is British warship HMS Lumber.
758
You're currently in the United Kingdom's territorial waters
759
you're required to turn away immediately fuck off you are required to turn away immediately I'm gonna say
760
that to people is that the Russian ship the Russian ship all land is drifting towards
761
that small rocky outcrop the Russian boats gonna hit the rocks is
762
that what they're saying yeah it's a minute ago
763
and back off our cables now it could be a rescue mission I was going to say it's turned for
764
so we're now going to rescue them
765
Oh rocks geez
766
Oh Oh breached it's been to us no it's the whole
767
you silly bastard under the ship the whole i've just got a media update this is footage
768
that has just been transmitted on russian tv they're gonna blame us aren't
769
they they're gonna blame us they're gonna put it on the brits this afternoon russian officials have disclosed
770
that a british type 23 warship deliberately forced the russian civilian vessel arlan off its safe course home
771
Driving it onto rocks.
772
Oh, my God.
773
What in the propaganda?
774
What?
775
They weapon!
776
Tantamount to a declaration of war.
777
Oof!
778
They're using it to start a war.
779
We have what looks like projectiles in the direction of the Loughborough.
780
And they're torpedoes!
781
The Russians are coming after the Loughborough now.
782
Oh!
783
Yeah.
784
Oh, my God!
785
Oh, my God!
786
Oh, my God!
787
Don't be stupid.
788
Like, nuke them, nuke them.
789
Nuke the Kremlin.
790
No, you've got to de -escalate.
791
No, no, nuke the Kremlin now.
792
Do it now.
793
And then they will nuke back.
794
CDS, sorry to interrupt.
795
We've got a P -8 that's located the submarine that sunk the Loughborough.
796
Oh, they found the sub, yeah?
797
They found the Russian sub.
798
It can take out the submarine, but it has to strike now.
799
Eye for a fucking eye, lads.
800
Take her out.
801
Lateral. Do it.
802
I'm all about escalation at this point.
803
Ah, you've got a short strength here, like, yeah.
804
We have to strike back.
805
retaliate oh come on he's telling them to send them to sink the soul
806
we're to do this right now thank you that's it do it go on yes get up
807
and get out run it's a big step we just made
808
I know it's huge weapon away here we go now we're gonna sink this up the Russian soap
809
weapon in the water oh that's jaunty isn't it that goes on a little parachute Yeah.
810
Sonar voice, indicate impact.
811
Repeat, sonar voice, indicate impact.
812
It's been it, Soph.
813
There was no splash.
814
Where's the boom?
815
Oh, we didn't see anything.
816
Oh, that's very anti -climatic.
817
It appears the target's been destroyed, sir.
818
So what's Russia gonna do now?
819
Radar alert.
820
Oh, jeez, what's this?
821
What's happening now?
822
one cruise missile picked up no oh heading towards where where where south east of england
823
that's where your mum is by the way what's that oh my god
824
can you imagine you're on the north coast of scotland you see missiles going past Jesus Christ.
825
A missile.
826
It is a missile.
827
Oh, my God.
828
Oh, my life.
829
Where was that?
830
That was Lindy.
831
Oh, my God.
832
This is scary.
833
Bit of an eye open there, really.
834
Why do I feel like we're at war?
835
I know.
836
Have a bit of faith.
837
Have a bit of faith.
838
You know, we've got Michael Gove as Prime Minister.
839
Nicky Sturgeon's there.
840
Yeah.
841
What could possibly go wrong?
842
Well, worst case, she'll have us all in a camper van anyway.
843
Exactly.
844
Get us all in the motorhome.
845
You can have a motorhome.
846
You can have a motorhome.
847
Motorhome.
848
Your houses have all been blown up.
849
Mate, I suggest you get a motorhome, like I did.
850
Taxpayer funded.
851
Fantastic bit of kicks. In Blackpool.
852
Hey, you saying that I owed you money, right?
853
Oh, you did.
854
You owe me 60 quid for the plumber, coming and fixing your boiler.
855
Thought that had slipped under the radar, you cheeky get.
856
Pete and his little sister Sophie.
857
Actually, Uno reverse, because remember, you owed me a ton plus presents for everybody.
858
For Alessi and Levi, 20 stabs each.
859
So that is, if I'm doing the quick maths...
860
140. I thought you were doing 20 per person.
861
Well, regardless, I'm down to 23 quid now.
862
I've done the maths, I owe you 23 quid.
863
Well, how does that work?
864
Because it's 140, take away 60.
865
That is 80 that you owe me.
866
So how have you got to 23?
867
I've got it written down somewhere.
868
And this will be debunked.
869
On Friday, it was the same old, same old on ITV.
870
My morning's not been great so far.
871
I've woken up with, like, three spots.
872
Oh, yeah, that's looking really bad.
873
I can see that.
874
Are you serious?
875
Yeah, it's not looking good.
876
I'm going to put on pimple patches.
877
The sooner, the better.
878
When I watch this morning, I always slightly feel I've been run over by a bus.
879
With universities about to reopen their doors all week, our lovely chefs have been sharing recipes every student needs.
880
Oh, fantastic.
881
I love it when they do the uni foods and it's basically beans on themselves.
882
But there's one staple every student has to master, and that is eggs.
883
One of the only things you can cook is eggs.
884
Yep.
885
Eggs, my forte.
886
Oh, I love eggs.
887
I love any egg.
888
Scrambled egg, boiled egg, fried egg, chocolate egg. So, John's arrived.
889
He's here now to help us crack the right method.
890
Very good.
891
That was egg -cellent.
892
Oh!
893
We're going to start a timer.
894
Six minutes timer first.
895
Well, six minutes, Steve says five.
896
We do four minutes, dippy eggs.
897
You'd think.
898
So that now goes for six minutes and you will get a runny egg.
899
For me now, when I do occasionally have a little eggs florentine,
900
I have to ask, can I just have the eggs hard poached?
901
Because I don't like running the risk of a snotty egg.
902
I can't leave and have a conversation with you.
903
Hello, me on the Florentines.
904
What's next?
905
Now, poached eggs.
906
Oh, here we go.
907
I've took pictures of my poached eggs.
908
I know, they're all over the internet.
909
Water, vinegar.
910
Yeah, always vinegar.
911
I knew that.
912
Always vinegar.
913
Put your eggs into a little cup.
914
Yep.
915
And just gently...
916
Just lower it in.
917
Drop them into the water.
918
You've watched this before, haven't you?
919
I know my eggs.
920
Now, what do we do now?
921
Now, this is your omelette
922
so now what you do is you move it oh yeah you do to begin you don't need to do
923
that you do not need to do
924
that with my omelette this is why you don't cook them so
925
because what we're going to do now is we're going to
926
start to fold our omelette over that'll be sloppy as out in the middle of
927
that well who wants a sloppy omelette no not me oh look at
928
that that is quality
929
and there's your perfect omelet i'm just here for the boiled egg me that's all i'm waiting for yeah
930
Now, scrambled eggs.
931
Now we're in my fucking area.
932
With your eggs, you keep them sort of whole.
933
You puncture the yolks.
934
Don't scrap...
935
Don't mix them too much.
936
That's some really orange eggs, though.
937
Must be, like, free -range in that.
938
And what I do here is I use a little bit of creme fraiche.
939
Oh, no, I don't do that.
940
That's nice.
941
The staple ingredient of a student's fridge.
942
Yeah.
943
Creme fraiche.
944
It means you get little bits of white and little bits of...
945
..of the actual...
946
Which is what you want.
947
Yeah.
948
Oh, no, I'm not sure I want that.
949
No, John.
950
You don't want little bits of white in it, do you?
951
It needs to be mixed, doesn't it?
952
Yeah.
953
That's my kind of scrambled egg.
954
Yeah, this is a good level.
955
So you can take a straw to that and suck it up.
956
That's mine. So there we go.
957
Let's have a look at our boiled eggs, shall we?
958
Talk to me, John.
959
Take that off the top.
960
Oh, we've got soldiers.
961
Look, and then if you just dip your soldiers in, look what it's going to be like.
962
It's the perfect runny egg.
963
Fantastic, John.
964
Six minutes.
965
Oh, that is the perfect egg.
966
Do you know who does the best eggs in the world, Paige?
967
Honestly, they're so good.
968
Boiled eggs, but chuckied.
969
Chuckie in the middle.
970
Chuckie eggs.
971
On a slice of toast, salt and pepper on them.
972
Gorgeous. With Charles.
973
She's not going to shag you. In Leeds.
974
What are you having for dinner?
975
I've got leftovers from yesterday.
976
I've got lamb chops, rice and peas.
977
Best friends, Danielle and Daniela.
978
You know some days you just wake up and you're just like, I need Caribbean food today.
979
That's what I want.
980
Thank you.
981
I've had too many jacket potatoes this week.
982
I need some Caribbean food.
983
I've had a lot of jacket potatoes this week.
984
I've had too much fish.
985
Daniela, I think I've had three.
986
Really?
987
Yeah.
988
Ooh, Carbonell.
989
I know.
990
All with cheese, all with too much butter.
991
Baked beans, crispy onions, I'm addicted.
992
Diet going well?
993
Not, no, no, terribly.
994
Really bad.
995
On Friday night, we got more than we bargained for on Channel 5.
996
I like a good spankiness on.
997
Oh, keep that in mind, you sure.
998
I once did buy some stuff to get dressed up in the bedroom and Nat got annoyed.
999
What did you buy for him to get across?
1000
Well, I don't know, just like some raunchy underwear.
1001
Well, he was like, what have you got that on for?
1002
Fuming.
1003
He likes me in my Marks and Spencers.
1004
Look at you.
1005
Don't complain, he's a man of simple taste.
1006
He is.
1007
Behind closed doors.
1008
Us Brits hide a very naughty secret.
1009
The British like a spanking.
1010
Ooh, speak for yourself.
1011
Yes, we do.
1012
Yes, they do.
1013
We do.
1014
I do.
1015
We have known two spanking enthusiasts.
1016
Yeah.
1017
Namely Paul and Hugh, who both like spanking.
1018
Oh, yes.
1019
Did Hugh like spanking?
1020
Yeah.
1021
Did he like to be spanked or did he like to spank?
1022
Not sure.
1023
Surveys reveal a whopping 61 % of us have tried spanking in the bedroom oh jesus tonight
1024
this is where they should have an advert for pseudo creme nutty
1025
this is spanking at its most extreme what have they got
1026
here is this all going on in the what am i quite boring is this going on in the world
1027
that must be i'm asking you clearly
1028
can we have a safe word to watch this show
1029
because i think i might need to get out i'm just
1030
so worried there's someone i know doing this oh yeah meet mistress Hello.
1031
Pony play?
1032
What is pony play?
1033
You look scared, Jay.
1034
Why the fuck would I not be?
1035
She's managed to combine her passion with her work.
1036
She provides spanking with horseplay.
1037
This is wild, isn't it?
1038
What, was she riding?
1039
What, the horse?
1040
I don't know.
1041
It's people pretending to be the horses.
1042
Oh, OK.
1043
But how do you come to the conclusion that you would like to pretend to be a horse?
1044
I'd rather be, like, a spider.
1045
What, you'd want someone dressed up as a spider so you can smack them?
1046
An alpaca?
1047
Mistress Elena is about to take up the reins for her spanking roleplay session.
1048
No, she's not going to spank them while they're pulling her along.
1049
Good morning, Flogger.
1050
Mistress.
1051
Mistress.
1052
OK, are we looking forward to today?
1053
Look at him, he's brought all his kit.
1054
I bet he's absolutely buzzing.
1055
Flogger is about to undergo a transformation.
1056
Flogger!
1057
From human to horse.
1058
Oh, does he have to do it right there?
1059
There's a little changing rooms.
1060
If I'm turning into a horse, I'd like to do it in private.
1061
I'm looking forward to this. Are you?
1062
I am.
1063
I'm absolutely...
1064
I'm in now.
1065
I'm intrigued.
1066
I'm absolutely intrigued by it all.
1067
It's absolutely that initial...
1068
Oh, my God!
1069
Hello, mate.
1070
High five.
1071
The strong horse were in a horseback, controlling the horse, and kind of wanting to be the horse.
1072
The quiff is too much.
1073
The mane going forward is not...
1074
Never seen a horse look like Justin Bieber before.
1075
Oh, he's got a side quiff, he looks like.
1076
Well, look what's that singer?
1077
That's when I covered Gabrielle.
1078
Gabrielle, the arse, that.
1079
With the transformation complete...
1080
Good boy.
1081
..it's time to head out into the field.
1082
Nice bit of field, that's it.
1083
Good boy.
1084
It's getting better.
1085
Fluffy leg.
1086
Oh, my God.
1087
Lovely tail.
1088
Huh?
1089
Huh?
1090
Walk on, walk on.
1091
Good.
1092
Good.
1093
I want to see him gallop.
1094
And to rot.
1095
Trot!
1096
I said trot!
1097
Oh, she's having to be stern now.
1098
Get the whip out.
1099
Get on!
1100
Get on!
1101
Go on!
1102
Go on!
1103
That's you whipping him, is that?
1104
Yeah, well, that's what he's been waiting for.
1105
That's why he's been a wee naughty pony.
1106
You know, if he builds up his stamina, you could be looking at Grand National.
1107
Yeah, red rum.
1108
We might have the next red rum on our hands here.
1109
You just don't know, do you?
1110
Lindsay and I were away for a weekend in London
1111
and we were out drinking in Soho
1112
and there was an adult store in london
1113
and we saw a couple coming out of there with a chap on a leash
1114
really actually actually on a leash fella on a leash walking down the street i'm like
1115
wouldn't see that in gator you wouldn't would you bloody london honestly what they're like
1116
would a donut make the grueling trek any easier it'll cost you 200 quid though Tempting Fortune is available to stream now.
1117
And this Sunday at 9 is someone straying across enemy lines.
1118
Think of it as a real -life 28 days later.
1119
Streamer watch survival show apocalypse.
1120
But we're getting the first round in next as we're live from the Lice at Arms.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “Gogglebox S28E04”. Questo video contiene 1116 frasi e 7235 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 46:50. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 154 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Solo il 79% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è impegnativo. 176 delle sue 1116 frasi sono domande: un buon esercizio per l’intonazione interrogativa e le risposte brevi.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| bake verbo | /beɪk/ | cuocere (al forno), infornare |
| sticky aggettivo | /ˈstɪki/ | vischioso |
| steak sostantivo | /steɪk/ | bistecca |
| bury verbo | /ˈbɛɹi/ | sotterrare |
| vegan sostantivo | /ˈviːɡən/ | vegano |
| sock sostantivo | /sɑk/ | calza, calzino |
| vessel sostantivo | /ˈvɛsəl/ | vascello, imbarcazione |
| sink verbo | /ˈsɪŋk/ | affondare, sprofondare |
| nightmare sostantivo | /ˈnaɪt.mɛɚ/ | incubo, brutto sogno |
| tent sostantivo | /tɛnt/ | tenda |
| mistress sostantivo | /ˈmɪs.tɹɪs/ | signora, padrona |
| boil verbo | /bɔɪ(ə)l/ | far bollire |
| submarine sostantivo | /sʌb.məˈɹiːn/ | sottomarino, sommergibile |
| gorgeous aggettivo | /ˈɡoɹd͡ʒəs/ | magnifico, splendido |
| tear verbo | /tɛɹ/ | strappare, dilaniare |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| look forward to verbo | non vedere l'ora |
| sit down verbo | sedersi, accomodarsi |
| blow up verbo | saltare in aria, esplodere |
| build up verbo | accumulare |
| come across verbo | dare l'impressione, avere l'aria |
| come back verbo | tornare |
| get across verbo | attraversare |
| get up verbo | alzarsi |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Can't you hear it, boss?
- I'm eating cabbage, isn't it?
- We're just heading into the unknown, aren't we?
- Do you think she's going to pull it round?
- What's that on your feet?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Frasi condizionali if + frase, will/would + verbo — una condizione e il suo risultato | If I looked like that, I wouldn't wear · if the ball came near you you'd go · If I'm turning into a horse, I'd like |
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | what's been happening · have been sharing · he's been waiting |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | has been shot · have done · hasn't been tented |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is levelled · be shot · has been shot |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 303 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come don't, I'm, I've. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, tooth /tuθ/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, lengthen /ˈlɛŋθən/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: dish /dɪʃ/, transformation /ˌtɹæns.fɔɹˈmeɪ.ʃən/, sensation /sɛnˈseɪʃən/, fetish /ˈfɛt.ɪʃ/, reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, transformation /ˌtɹæns.fɔɹˈmeɪ.ʃən/, territorial /ˌtɛɹ.əˈtɔɹ.i.əl/, reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: hesitate /ˈhɛz.ə.teɪt/, harm /hɑːm/, whoever /huˈɛvɚ/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: bake /beɪk/, steak /steɪk/, sock /sɑk/, sink /ˈsɪŋk/, tent /tɛnt/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: jacket /ˈd͡ʒæk.ɪt/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, transformation /ˌtɹæns.fɔɹˈmeɪ.ʃən/, taxi /ˈtæksi/, collapse /kəˈlæps/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come bake, sticky, steak.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.