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This video is about your social skills.
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There is this problem that a lot of people face and
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that is that they do not know how to go about talking with people.
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And today I'm going to be talking about the secret of getting better at talking to people.
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There is a reason why your social skills are not good enough
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and I have a brilliant technique to help you solve that.
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Of course it's going to require practice.
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Of course it's not going to happen on its own.
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Of course you'll have to put an effort but before we get into that let us discuss the problem at first.
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Let us first understand why this is happening with you.
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First thing that you need to realize over here is that we human beings are not born socially handicapped.
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We're supposed to be very very very social species on this planet.
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The reason why you're not being able to gel up with people
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or get comfortable with people around you get better at talking with them probably lies somewhere in you and
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that is what we are going to be solving today okay
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imagine a scenario where a baby is put in a room full of people okay
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and nobody is coming up to that baby and teaching him
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or her how to speak
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or telling a baby okay this is a dog d-o-g this is a dog
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or you know making sound bow bow this is a dog but the baby anyway learns to speak.
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So the baby is extremely capable of learning everything on its own.
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That's how babies anyway learn to talk.
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And if it is something, even after growing up and adulting and being at the age where you are in your life,
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wherever you are, and still being able to not hold proper conversations with people,
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something is wrong in the way you've been dealing with your mind.
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You've been dealing with your social scenarios.
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You have been with yourself and we need to change that.
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If things have to change for you, the effort has to start from within you.
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It has to start here and automatically everything around you will start to change.
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And if you are unable to develop social skills in you, it's because you lack practice.
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You are not exposing your mind to enough interactions.
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And since you're not exposing your mind to enough interactions, your mind isn't learning.
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Mind is a brilliant organ.
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It's supposed to learn the patterns and rules very quickly.
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All you have to do is expose it more and more and more to interactions.
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And the mind is brilliant at picking patterns, at picking the rules.
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Imagine a scenario where you enter a lift, okay, an elevator.
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and default you turn around and you face in the direction everybody else is facing.
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Why is it so?
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Did anybody teach you that?
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That hey when you enter the elevator you're supposed to turn around
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and look in the same direction all the others are looking.
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Why?
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And why do you find it so difficult to do something elsewise?
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Imagine entering an elevator
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and facing opposite from where the other people are facing not
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looking towards the door rather towards the wall of the elevator imagine doing
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that how awkward that will feel to you did anybody teach you
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that no nobody taught you that that is something
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that you picked up from your environment on your own without realizing
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that you're learning but you learned it anyway so that's the point here
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so let's understand that
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that the fundamental level of skill you already have in you
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as a human being you're already born with them okay now
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what you have to do is you have to reveal them
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you have to unveil your fundamental skills of socializing with people
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and clear the debris from the top
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that you have gathered over time just clear that debris
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and to be fair with you it's not really a mistake it's not really a problem modern times are such
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that we talk with people more on the phone than face to face
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that trend of meeting up with people
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and having a social gathering interacting with human beings is kind
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of getting obsolete yeah it's kind of it's kind of going out of trend
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and we are talking more don't get me wrong I'm not saying
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that it does not happen anymore it happens
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but with every passing generation we are spending more
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and more time behind the screens I remember I was what 22 21 22
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when I got my first phone
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and my phone was just a rectangular dubba I don't even remember
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if it had internet it was just to make calls to my mom barely
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that nothing else
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but nowadays children get their first phones barely at the age
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of what six eight ten this is very normal these days
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I don't want to get to the point where I tell you my feelings about it because they're not gonna be good.
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I really don't like it.
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I'm not gonna use the word hate.
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I don't like it when people,
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when I see young little children handling phones by themselves and looking at cartoons and with their bare naked eyes.
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It's not good for them.
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It's terrible for their eyesight.
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It's terrible for their eye muscles.
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And you know, that's the way it is.
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It's the normal scenario these days.
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So talking on chats and sending emojis is the way of life these days and emojis and chatting can never,
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never help you develop the social skills that you need in your life to feel complete, to feel fulfilled.
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Because as human beings, we crave socializing.
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We crave to be a part of a group.
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When you're talking with somebody on the phone, you cannot see their body language.
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You cannot see, you cannot maintain eye contact with them.
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You cannot see the proximity at which they are standing with you because they are not standing close to you.
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They are somewhere, some kilometers away, thousands of kilometers away chit-chatting with you.
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You cannot see their facial expressions.
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You cannot see their tonality.
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Imagine this video goes blank and you can just hear my voice.
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Will the experience of the video still remain the same?
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Will it still be able to grab your attention?
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You'd probably feel like going away from the video in just a few seconds.
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So that is the idea.
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Maintaining eye contact, being present in person with somebody
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while talking with them is what really fulfills your biological need of being a social animal.
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Now I'm gonna get to the technique that I have for you.
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It's going to help you and it's fun.
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You will enjoy it.
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Do not make it a burden on your head.
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Take it as something that a friend is telling you.
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Okay, from my own experience, like just the other day, a few days ago, I remember my gym trainer, he came up to me and asked me in a very simple manner,
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ma'am, are you an introvert?
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And I was like okay how do you know she's like
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no ma'am i just observed i think you're a big introvert
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i'm like okay i've been working on my social skills for
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so long no coming back to my otherwise life scenario yeah
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i am kind of an introvert i do not take pride
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in it it's just not very it just not comes naturally to me to interact with people
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and I have lived my life like that.
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I have actually started putting efforts into mingling with people and this is one technique that I applied.
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It works for me.
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It will work for you.
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It's brilliant.
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If it does not work, you're free, free to curse me in comments go ahead talk whatever you
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want to comment below i will not remove your comments okay
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if it does not work for you but for
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that to be done you have to first make sure
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that you do it for 30 days okay
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if you do it for 30 days
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and it does not work for you come back
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and we'll have a talk we're going to chit chat about it no
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but it won't happen that way i have deep confidence in the technique that that I'm gonna tell you.
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It's very simple.
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The name is 101 interactions, 101.
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Okay.
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Now, before I get to that, I want you to understand one thing that just watching videos to improve your social skills
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is just like learning to swim on the internet by watching videos.
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The simplest and the fastest way to learn to swim would be to put yourself into the water.
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Go and start swimming.
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I know when you look at the videos, you get to learn a lot.
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You understand the best techniques, you understand people's mistakes, you understand what not to do.
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But just knowing is not enough.
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Trying, experiencing it firsthand, that is what is required to learn any skill in life.
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You cannot learn to play a guitar just by looking at videos of people playing guitars
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or teaching you how to play a guitar.
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You need to get your hands dirty.
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This is just a metaphor.
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By getting your hands dirty, I mean you need to buy a guitar, sit down, practice every day and do it consistently for many, many months.
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Only then you see some improvement.
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So that is exactly the point here.
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Okay, now let's get to the 101 interactions.
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What is 101?
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101 interactions are simple, 101 interactions.
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This is a challenge that we've designed.
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Okay, I have designed for you.
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I've done it.
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It helped me.
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I am a much, much, much, much better talker, communicator, whatever you may call it, okay?
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Public speaker.
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I'm not scared of coming onto a stage and talking with people.
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Really.
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I might shiver for a few seconds in the beginning for a few minutes, but otherwise, I think I'm pretty good to go.
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Yeah.
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And it does not happen on its own.
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speaking from my own experience telling you it takes a lot of courage
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and it takes a lot of practice and experience to do
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that or to say that even say that okay
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so in one-on-one interactions challenge what you have to do is
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you have to start talking with random strangers random people around
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you they may be stranger they may not be strangers okay
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what you have to do is you have to just talk with them.
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Just saying a hi is enough and you'll be surprised how much people are willing to share if you just talk.
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Just saying a hi, just starting a conversation and you will realize that what all is not inappropriate.
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You will find out that a lot of things that you probably have in your head
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that might get inappropriate for somebody are not really inappropriate.
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The best way to start a conversation with somebody, some people say it, that it is to ask something very personal.
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Now you'd be like, man, that's very inappropriate.
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No, it's not.
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It's not inappropriate.
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By asking something very personal, I do not mean that you ask them something sexual in nature.
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No, no, no, No, not at all.
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By personal, I mean you could go around and ask them, hey, since how long have you been in the city?
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Or where did you do your first job?
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By personal, I mean something about them, something about that human being that is close to their heart, that is close to their lives,
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something that they have experienced in their lives.
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Okay, so ask something personal and then you will be surprised to see how much they are willing to share.
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People love talking.
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People love talking about their experiences, their lives.
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Just show some interest and show genuine interest.
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Give them attention.
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So just saying a hi is also enough.
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You have to complete 101 interactions in just 30 days.
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Now this is where the challenge part comes in.
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See, 101 interactions in a year are very easy.
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You have to do them in 30 days.
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You have to finish them in 30 days only then this is a challenge okay
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and every day keep recording how many times you actually went
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up to somebody had a conversation with them i'm sharing a
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tracker with you down below in the description box okay just go to
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that tracker and start ticking okay start telling yourself
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that these many interactions are done and by the end of 30 days from now start today
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or maybe start tomorrow by the end of 30 days your 101 should be ticked see talking to somebody doing
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that first handshake saying a hello you might feel in your
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head is very awkward it's not really awkward it is not imagine
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if i'm sitting in a in a restaurant and there's music playing
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and somebody comes up to me and says a hi
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or starts a little conversation at the maximum what can I do I will probably just maybe make an excuse
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and get out of there or maybe you know tell them
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that I have something important some important business to take care of
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and get busy on my phone or something I am obviously not going to insult
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that person that how dare you talk with me?
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What kind of a jerk are you?
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I mean, I'm not going to do that, right?
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Because why would I?
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If somebody is being sweet to me, if somebody is being nice to me, I will obviously default, I will have to be nice to that person.
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It's natural that way.
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So whatever conversations you're playing in your head, I mean, this is all that can go wrong.
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It's entirely in your head.
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It's not something that will come true.
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It's not something that you want to come true.
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It is not going to happen that way.
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These are scenarios.
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These are lies that you're telling yourself.
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Just go up, introduce yourself.
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In formal settings, it's even easier.
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In formal settings, you're in a meeting, you're doing some business thing of yours on behalf of your office, your company.
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It's really easy.
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Hey, hi, I'm so and so.
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I work at this position.
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What do you do?
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Or how are you here?
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Can I help you with something?
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Are you feeling comfortable?
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Something like that.
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Easy.
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So the idea is that you have to keep your conversations simple.
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You can keep them short.
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It's entirely up to you.
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You just have to talk.
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Just have to initiate a conversation.
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Just maybe a hi is enough.
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Okay.
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Just a hi and you run away.
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That will also do you won't be able to do it
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that way yeah
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so just initiating a conversation initially it may be awkward there
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may be some awkward silences gradually you will see yourself transitioning into deeper conversations
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and you might actually end up having some very good friends through this method
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so when i started initially it used to be hard
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but in just a matter of a few days it got all right it started coming to me naturally
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and it became a fun little task that i was having for myself
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and i was actually enjoying
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that journey in case you're still wondering ma'am what to talk about
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because this is a genuine problem people might have ma'am okay
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i go up to a stranger fine i need to rehearse i need to practice i need to
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go out there and introduce myself to people.
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What next?
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Where do I go from there?
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What do I do after that?
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What do I talk about?
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Now this is where I have a brilliant technique for you.
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Okay, this is included in the 101 challenge.
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The mnemonic is friend.
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Friend.
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It's so easy to remember, right?
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And you have to go into it imagining, you know, having that approach that every stranger is a a potential friend.
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So by the way, E in friend is the most interesting one.
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People love talking about it.
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Okay, we'll get to that.
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Let's start with F.
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F stands for family.
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Ask about their family.
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Okay, R stands for random objects in front of you.
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Like for me, it could be the camera.
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If somebody was sitting here, I could just simply ask, hey, do you know which camera I'm using?
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Or do you know the lens that I'm using?
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Or the light, I have a light in front of me, a jumbo light, then probably the curtains or
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if you are in a pub or a disc maybe the dance floor
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or the lights over there the disco lights
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or how loud the music is anything okay random objects coming to i interest
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and hobbies ask them about their interests ask them about their
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hobbies what they like doing then coming to f r i e i told you
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that e is the best one right e is eating you'll
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be surprised how often people love talking about food they love talking about all the things they like eating
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so talk about
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that it's the this is the easiest one really the easiest one everybody has their favorites and not so favorites.
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N stands for news or current affairs.
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Okay.
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And then finally D is day.
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Ask them about their day.
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How it went?
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What was it like?
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What did they do?
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Was there something exciting in the day?
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Anything.
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If you're uncomfortable with the feeling that you might make others feel uncomfortable with your conversations,
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just go out there, talk with five to ten people, and then judge it.
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Most probably, you're just construing this the wrong way.
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It's not so.
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Naturally, it will be easy for you to make them feel comfortable.
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You will be catching their facial expressions.
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You will be catching the vibe.
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You will understand if they are comfortable or not.
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And then you obviously have a choice how to make it fun for them, how to make it exciting for them.
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The most easy way is just talk about them.
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That's the easiest way.
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Talk about them.
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Okay.
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Ask anything that relates to their life or relates to their family.
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Anything that is close to them and they will naturally like it and be inclined to talk more about it.
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Ask them their favorite car.
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Ask them if they have a pet.
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Ask them what do they do on their weekends.
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So if I have to summarize all of this up for you, these are going to be my pointers.
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Any language is just patterns and rules
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and human brain is very capable of learning the patterns and learning the rules on its own.
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Lack of practice is the main reason behind your poor social skills.
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Talking with more and more people is going to make it easier for your brain to develop your social skills.
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One-on-one interaction challenge is the way you can experiment with your mind
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and you can improve your social skills the two will go together have this experiment with yourself
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and you will automatically learn finesse you will get better
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and better at it so this is what you have to do now
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that you've already watched the entire video there is link in the description go
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and download the tracker and start filling in
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and in the comments i'd like to know the name of
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that first person you're going to have a one-on-one with okay one person the first person
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that you're going to have your first interaction with it's something
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that i'm waiting to hear in the comments below
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if you like this video please give it a like share it with your friends
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if you will like the video this will help the video to reach more
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and more people
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and will really really help me grow this channel thank you very much i'll see you again soon bye bye
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People - Master This Simple Technique for Best Conversations”. Questo video contiene 327 frasi e 3351 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 20:32. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 163 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Il 88% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| scenario sostantivo | /sɪˈnɛəɹioʊ/ | scenario, panorama |
| introverted aggettivo | /ˈɪn.tɹəˌvɜːɹ.təd/ | introverso |
| expose verbo | /ɪkˈspoʊz/ | esporre, evidenziare |
| crave verbo | /kɹeɪv/ | bramare, desiderare |
| emoji sostantivo | /ɪˈmoʊ.d͡ʒi/ | emoji |
| excite verbo | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | stimolare, eccitare |
| initiate verbo | /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/ | iniziare |
| tick sostantivo | /tɪk/ | zecca |
| fulfill verbo | /fʊlˈfɪl/ | completare |
| debris sostantivo | /ˈdɛbɹi/ | macerie, rovine |
| hobby sostantivo | /ˈhɑ.bi/ | hobby, passatempo |
| interact verbo | /ɪn.təˈɹækt/ | interagire |
| facial aggettivo | /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/ | facciale |
| uncomfortable aggettivo | /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/ | scomodo |
| dubber sostantivo | /ˈdʌbɚ/ | doppiatore |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| go out verbo | uscire, andare fuori | |
| turn around verbo | girare, girarsi | |
| come back verbo | tornare | |
| end up verbo | andare a finire, finire | |
| find out verbo | scoprire | |
| go ahead verbo | /ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/ | procedere, andare avanti |
| go up verbo | salire | |
| grow up verbo | crescere |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Did anybody teach you that?
- Will it still be able to grab your attention?
- What kind of a jerk are you?
- Can I help you with something?
- Where do I go from there?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | you've been dealing · i've been working |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | have been · have gathered · have lived |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | are not born · is put · be done |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 62 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, I'm, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: socialize /ˈsoʊʃəlaɪz/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/, facial /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/, handshake /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/, shiver /ˈʃɪvɚ/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: inappropriate /ˌɪnəˈpɹoʊpɹi.ət/, elevator /ˈɛləˌveɪtɚ/, introverted /ˈɪn.tɹəˌvɜːɹ.təd/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: hobby /ˈhɑ.bi/, firsthand /ˈfɜːstˌhænd/, handshake /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/, rehearse /ɹɪˈhɝs/, handicap /ˈhændikæp/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: inappropriate /ˌɪnəˈpɹoʊpɹi.ət/, introverted /ˈɪn.tɹəˌvɜːɹ.təd/, expose /ɪkˈspoʊz/, chit /t͡ʃɪt/, crave /kɹeɪv/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: tracker /ˈtɹækə(ɹ)/, interact /ɪn.təˈɹækt/, firsthand /ˈfɜːstˌhænd/, handshake /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/, tonality /toʊnˈæl.ɪ.ti/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come scenario, introverted, expose.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.