Shadowing Practice: Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People - Master This Simple Technique for Best Conversations - Learn English Speaking with Video
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This video is about your social skills.
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There is this problem that a lot of people face and
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that is that they do not know how to go about talking with people.
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And today I'm going to be talking about the secret of getting better at talking to people.
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There is a reason why your social skills are not good enough
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and I have a brilliant technique to help you solve that.
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Of course it's going to require practice.
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Of course it's not going to happen on its own.
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Of course you'll have to put an effort but before we get into that let us discuss the problem at first.
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Let us first understand why this is happening with you.
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First thing that you need to realize over here is that we human beings are not born socially handicapped.
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We're supposed to be very very very social species on this planet.
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The reason why you're not being able to gel up with people
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or get comfortable with people around you get better at talking with them probably lies somewhere in you and
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that is what we are going to be solving today okay
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imagine a scenario where a baby is put in a room full of people okay
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and nobody is coming up to that baby and teaching him
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or her how to speak
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or telling a baby okay this is a dog d-o-g this is a dog
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or you know making sound bow bow this is a dog but the baby anyway learns to speak.
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So the baby is extremely capable of learning everything on its own.
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That's how babies anyway learn to talk.
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And if it is something, even after growing up and adulting and being at the age where you are in your life,
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wherever you are, and still being able to not hold proper conversations with people,
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something is wrong in the way you've been dealing with your mind.
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You've been dealing with your social scenarios.
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You have been with yourself and we need to change that.
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If things have to change for you, the effort has to start from within you.
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It has to start here and automatically everything around you will start to change.
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And if you are unable to develop social skills in you, it's because you lack practice.
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You are not exposing your mind to enough interactions.
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And since you're not exposing your mind to enough interactions, your mind isn't learning.
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Mind is a brilliant organ.
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It's supposed to learn the patterns and rules very quickly.
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All you have to do is expose it more and more and more to interactions.
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And the mind is brilliant at picking patterns, at picking the rules.
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Imagine a scenario where you enter a lift, okay, an elevator.
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and default you turn around and you face in the direction everybody else is facing.
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Why is it so?
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Did anybody teach you that?
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That hey when you enter the elevator you're supposed to turn around
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and look in the same direction all the others are looking.
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Why?
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And why do you find it so difficult to do something elsewise?
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Imagine entering an elevator
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and facing opposite from where the other people are facing not
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looking towards the door rather towards the wall of the elevator imagine doing
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that how awkward that will feel to you did anybody teach you
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that no nobody taught you that that is something
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that you picked up from your environment on your own without realizing
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that you're learning but you learned it anyway so that's the point here
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so let's understand that
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that the fundamental level of skill you already have in you
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as a human being you're already born with them okay now
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what you have to do is you have to reveal them
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you have to unveil your fundamental skills of socializing with people
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and clear the debris from the top
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that you have gathered over time just clear that debris
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and to be fair with you it's not really a mistake it's not really a problem modern times are such
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that we talk with people more on the phone than face to face
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that trend of meeting up with people
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and having a social gathering interacting with human beings is kind
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of getting obsolete yeah it's kind of it's kind of going out of trend
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and we are talking more don't get me wrong I'm not saying
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that it does not happen anymore it happens
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but with every passing generation we are spending more
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and more time behind the screens I remember I was what 22 21 22
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when I got my first phone
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and my phone was just a rectangular dubba I don't even remember
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if it had internet it was just to make calls to my mom barely
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that nothing else
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but nowadays children get their first phones barely at the age
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of what six eight ten this is very normal these days
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I don't want to get to the point where I tell you my feelings about it because they're not gonna be good.
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I really don't like it.
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I'm not gonna use the word hate.
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I don't like it when people,
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when I see young little children handling phones by themselves and looking at cartoons and with their bare naked eyes.
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It's not good for them.
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It's terrible for their eyesight.
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It's terrible for their eye muscles.
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And you know, that's the way it is.
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It's the normal scenario these days.
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So talking on chats and sending emojis is the way of life these days and emojis and chatting can never,
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never help you develop the social skills that you need in your life to feel complete, to feel fulfilled.
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Because as human beings, we crave socializing.
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We crave to be a part of a group.
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When you're talking with somebody on the phone, you cannot see their body language.
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You cannot see, you cannot maintain eye contact with them.
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You cannot see the proximity at which they are standing with you because they are not standing close to you.
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They are somewhere, some kilometers away, thousands of kilometers away chit-chatting with you.
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You cannot see their facial expressions.
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You cannot see their tonality.
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Imagine this video goes blank and you can just hear my voice.
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Will the experience of the video still remain the same?
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Will it still be able to grab your attention?
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You'd probably feel like going away from the video in just a few seconds.
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So that is the idea.
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Maintaining eye contact, being present in person with somebody
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while talking with them is what really fulfills your biological need of being a social animal.
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Now I'm gonna get to the technique that I have for you.
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It's going to help you and it's fun.
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You will enjoy it.
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Do not make it a burden on your head.
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Take it as something that a friend is telling you.
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Okay, from my own experience, like just the other day, a few days ago, I remember my gym trainer, he came up to me and asked me in a very simple manner,
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ma'am, are you an introvert?
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And I was like okay how do you know she's like
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no ma'am i just observed i think you're a big introvert
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i'm like okay i've been working on my social skills for
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so long no coming back to my otherwise life scenario yeah
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i am kind of an introvert i do not take pride
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in it it's just not very it just not comes naturally to me to interact with people
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and I have lived my life like that.
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I have actually started putting efforts into mingling with people and this is one technique that I applied.
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It works for me.
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It will work for you.
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It's brilliant.
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If it does not work, you're free, free to curse me in comments go ahead talk whatever you
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want to comment below i will not remove your comments okay
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if it does not work for you but for
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that to be done you have to first make sure
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that you do it for 30 days okay
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if you do it for 30 days
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and it does not work for you come back
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and we'll have a talk we're going to chit chat about it no
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but it won't happen that way i have deep confidence in the technique that that I'm gonna tell you.
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It's very simple.
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The name is 101 interactions, 101.
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Okay.
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Now, before I get to that, I want you to understand one thing that just watching videos to improve your social skills
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is just like learning to swim on the internet by watching videos.
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The simplest and the fastest way to learn to swim would be to put yourself into the water.
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Go and start swimming.
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I know when you look at the videos, you get to learn a lot.
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You understand the best techniques, you understand people's mistakes, you understand what not to do.
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But just knowing is not enough.
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Trying, experiencing it firsthand, that is what is required to learn any skill in life.
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You cannot learn to play a guitar just by looking at videos of people playing guitars
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or teaching you how to play a guitar.
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You need to get your hands dirty.
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This is just a metaphor.
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By getting your hands dirty, I mean you need to buy a guitar, sit down, practice every day and do it consistently for many, many months.
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Only then you see some improvement.
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So that is exactly the point here.
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Okay, now let's get to the 101 interactions.
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What is 101?
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101 interactions are simple, 101 interactions.
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This is a challenge that we've designed.
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Okay, I have designed for you.
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I've done it.
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It helped me.
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I am a much, much, much, much better talker, communicator, whatever you may call it, okay?
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Public speaker.
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I'm not scared of coming onto a stage and talking with people.
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Really.
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I might shiver for a few seconds in the beginning for a few minutes, but otherwise, I think I'm pretty good to go.
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Yeah.
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And it does not happen on its own.
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speaking from my own experience telling you it takes a lot of courage
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and it takes a lot of practice and experience to do
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that or to say that even say that okay
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so in one-on-one interactions challenge what you have to do is
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you have to start talking with random strangers random people around
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you they may be stranger they may not be strangers okay
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what you have to do is you have to just talk with them.
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Just saying a hi is enough and you'll be surprised how much people are willing to share if you just talk.
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Just saying a hi, just starting a conversation and you will realize that what all is not inappropriate.
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You will find out that a lot of things that you probably have in your head
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that might get inappropriate for somebody are not really inappropriate.
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The best way to start a conversation with somebody, some people say it, that it is to ask something very personal.
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Now you'd be like, man, that's very inappropriate.
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No, it's not.
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It's not inappropriate.
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By asking something very personal, I do not mean that you ask them something sexual in nature.
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No, no, no, No, not at all.
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By personal, I mean you could go around and ask them, hey, since how long have you been in the city?
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Or where did you do your first job?
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By personal, I mean something about them, something about that human being that is close to their heart, that is close to their lives,
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something that they have experienced in their lives.
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Okay, so ask something personal and then you will be surprised to see how much they are willing to share.
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People love talking.
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People love talking about their experiences, their lives.
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Just show some interest and show genuine interest.
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Give them attention.
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So just saying a hi is also enough.
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You have to complete 101 interactions in just 30 days.
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Now this is where the challenge part comes in.
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See, 101 interactions in a year are very easy.
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You have to do them in 30 days.
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You have to finish them in 30 days only then this is a challenge okay
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and every day keep recording how many times you actually went
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up to somebody had a conversation with them i'm sharing a
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tracker with you down below in the description box okay just go to
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that tracker and start ticking okay start telling yourself
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that these many interactions are done and by the end of 30 days from now start today
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or maybe start tomorrow by the end of 30 days your 101 should be ticked see talking to somebody doing
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that first handshake saying a hello you might feel in your
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head is very awkward it's not really awkward it is not imagine
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if i'm sitting in a in a restaurant and there's music playing
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and somebody comes up to me and says a hi
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or starts a little conversation at the maximum what can I do I will probably just maybe make an excuse
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and get out of there or maybe you know tell them
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that I have something important some important business to take care of
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and get busy on my phone or something I am obviously not going to insult
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that person that how dare you talk with me?
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What kind of a jerk are you?
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I mean, I'm not going to do that, right?
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Because why would I?
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If somebody is being sweet to me, if somebody is being nice to me, I will obviously default, I will have to be nice to that person.
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It's natural that way.
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So whatever conversations you're playing in your head, I mean, this is all that can go wrong.
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It's entirely in your head.
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It's not something that will come true.
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It's not something that you want to come true.
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It is not going to happen that way.
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These are scenarios.
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These are lies that you're telling yourself.
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Just go up, introduce yourself.
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In formal settings, it's even easier.
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In formal settings, you're in a meeting, you're doing some business thing of yours on behalf of your office, your company.
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It's really easy.
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Hey, hi, I'm so and so.
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I work at this position.
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What do you do?
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Or how are you here?
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Can I help you with something?
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Are you feeling comfortable?
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Something like that.
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Easy.
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So the idea is that you have to keep your conversations simple.
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You can keep them short.
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It's entirely up to you.
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You just have to talk.
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Just have to initiate a conversation.
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Just maybe a hi is enough.
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Okay.
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Just a hi and you run away.
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That will also do you won't be able to do it
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that way yeah
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so just initiating a conversation initially it may be awkward there
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may be some awkward silences gradually you will see yourself transitioning into deeper conversations
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and you might actually end up having some very good friends through this method
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so when i started initially it used to be hard
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but in just a matter of a few days it got all right it started coming to me naturally
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and it became a fun little task that i was having for myself
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and i was actually enjoying
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that journey in case you're still wondering ma'am what to talk about
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because this is a genuine problem people might have ma'am okay
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i go up to a stranger fine i need to rehearse i need to practice i need to
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go out there and introduce myself to people.
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What next?
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Where do I go from there?
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What do I do after that?
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What do I talk about?
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Now this is where I have a brilliant technique for you.
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Okay, this is included in the 101 challenge.
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The mnemonic is friend.
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Friend.
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It's so easy to remember, right?
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And you have to go into it imagining, you know, having that approach that every stranger is a a potential friend.
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So by the way, E in friend is the most interesting one.
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People love talking about it.
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Okay, we'll get to that.
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Let's start with F.
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F stands for family.
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Ask about their family.
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Okay, R stands for random objects in front of you.
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Like for me, it could be the camera.
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If somebody was sitting here, I could just simply ask, hey, do you know which camera I'm using?
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Or do you know the lens that I'm using?
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Or the light, I have a light in front of me, a jumbo light, then probably the curtains or
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if you are in a pub or a disc maybe the dance floor
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or the lights over there the disco lights
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or how loud the music is anything okay random objects coming to i interest
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and hobbies ask them about their interests ask them about their
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hobbies what they like doing then coming to f r i e i told you
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that e is the best one right e is eating you'll
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be surprised how often people love talking about food they love talking about all the things they like eating
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so talk about
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that it's the this is the easiest one really the easiest one everybody has their favorites and not so favorites.
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N stands for news or current affairs.
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Okay.
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And then finally D is day.
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Ask them about their day.
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How it went?
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What was it like?
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What did they do?
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Was there something exciting in the day?
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Anything.
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If you're uncomfortable with the feeling that you might make others feel uncomfortable with your conversations,
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just go out there, talk with five to ten people, and then judge it.
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Most probably, you're just construing this the wrong way.
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It's not so.
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Naturally, it will be easy for you to make them feel comfortable.
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You will be catching their facial expressions.
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You will be catching the vibe.
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You will understand if they are comfortable or not.
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And then you obviously have a choice how to make it fun for them, how to make it exciting for them.
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The most easy way is just talk about them.
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That's the easiest way.
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Talk about them.
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Okay.
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Ask anything that relates to their life or relates to their family.
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Anything that is close to them and they will naturally like it and be inclined to talk more about it.
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Ask them their favorite car.
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Ask them if they have a pet.
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Ask them what do they do on their weekends.
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So if I have to summarize all of this up for you, these are going to be my pointers.
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Any language is just patterns and rules
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and human brain is very capable of learning the patterns and learning the rules on its own.
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Lack of practice is the main reason behind your poor social skills.
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Talking with more and more people is going to make it easier for your brain to develop your social skills.
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One-on-one interaction challenge is the way you can experiment with your mind
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and you can improve your social skills the two will go together have this experiment with yourself
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and you will automatically learn finesse you will get better
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and better at it so this is what you have to do now
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that you've already watched the entire video there is link in the description go
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and download the tracker and start filling in
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and in the comments i'd like to know the name of
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that first person you're going to have a one-on-one with okay one person the first person
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that you're going to have your first interaction with it's something
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that i'm waiting to hear in the comments below
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if you like this video please give it a like share it with your friends
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if you will like the video this will help the video to reach more
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and more people
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and will really really help me grow this channel thank you very much i'll see you again soon bye bye
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People - Master This Simple Technique for Best Conversations”. This video has 327 sentences and 3351 words to shadow. The speech runs for 20:32. The speaker talks at a natural 163 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| scenario noun | /sɪˈnɛəɹioʊ/ | An outline or model of an expected or supposed sequence of events. |
| inappropriate adjective | /ˌɪnəˈpɹoʊpɹi.ət/ | Not appropriate; not suitable for the situation, time, or place. |
| elevator noun | /ˈɛləˌveɪtɚ/ | Anything that raises or uplifts. |
| introverted adjective | /ˈɪn.tɹəˌvɜːɹ.təd/ | Thinking about internal or spiritual matters. |
| tracker noun | /ˈtɹækə(ɹ)/ | A person employed to follow and monitor a political rival. |
| expose verb | /ɪkˈspoʊz/ | To reveal; to uncover; to make visible; to bring to light. |
| chit noun | /t͡ʃɪt/ | The embryonic growing bud of a plant. |
| crave verb | /kɹeɪv/ | To desire strongly, so as to satisfy an appetite; to long or yearn for. |
| emoji noun | /ɪˈmoʊ.d͡ʒi/ | A digital graphic icon with a unique code point used to represent a concept, object, person, animal or place, originally used in Japanese text messaging but… |
| excite verb | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | To stir the emotions of; to cause to feel excitement. |
| socialize verb | /ˈsoʊʃəlaɪz/ | To interact with others, especially personally, informally and off the clock rather than formally and officially. |
| initiate verb | /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/ | To begin; to start. |
| tick noun | /tɪk/ | A tiny woodland arachnid of the suborder Ixodida. |
| fulfill verb | /fʊlˈfɪl/ | To satisfy, carry out, bring to completion (an obligation, a requirement, etc.). |
| debris noun | /ˈdɛbɹi/ | Rubble, wreckage, scattered remains of something destroyed. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| come up to verb | To approach. | |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. | |
| turn around verb | To physically rotate (usually around a vertical axis) for a half turn (180 degrees), a whole turn (360 degrees), or an indefinite amount. | |
| come back verb | To return to a place. | |
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. | |
| find out verb | To discover, as by asking or investigating. | |
| get out of verb | To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of. | |
| go ahead verb | /ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/ | To proceed with; to begin. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Did anybody teach you that?
- Will it still be able to grab your attention?
- What kind of a jerk are you?
- Can I help you with something?
- Where do I go from there?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | you've been dealing · i've been working |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have been · have gathered · have lived |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are not born · is put · be done |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 62 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: socialize /ˈsoʊʃəlaɪz/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/, facial /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/, handshake /ˈhæn(d)ˌʃeɪk/, shiver /ˈʃɪvɚ/
- Long words — get the stress right: inappropriate /ˌɪnəˈpɹoʊpɹi.ət/, elevator /ˈɛləˌveɪtɚ/, introverted /ˈɪn.tɹəˌvɜːɹ.təd/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like scenario, inappropriate, elevator.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.