シャドーイング練習: Esther Perel on How Dating Has Changed over the Last 20 Years - YouTubeで英語スピーキングを学ぶ
B2
I pulled myself into one,
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I pulled myself into one,
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a set of very specific questions at the time, right?
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Why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex?
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Why does good sex fade even in couples who love each other as much as ever?
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Why does sex make babies and babies spell erotic disaster in couples?
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Why is the forbidden so erotic?
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And when you love, how does it feel?
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And when you desire, how is it different?
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Those were the questions.
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We got church, we got desired church already.
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Yes, those were the questions that fueled you.
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Yes, and I think these questions still hold today.
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Yeah, I think we need this more than ever today.
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So that didn't really change.
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And I looked at what is the tension that exists
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when our pursuit for secure love clashes with our pursuit for freedom and excitement excitement.
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And the question was, you know,
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what is the nature of erotic desire in the long haul?
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Anyone have an answer yet?
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No. Okay.
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That was the question.
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I still don't fully have an answer,
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but I spent 20 years after that really deepening those very questions.
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What holds excitement?
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How do we maintain aliveness in a relationship in the long haul?
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Okay.
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And so that's why you're reissuing the book.
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Yes.
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To give us that answer.
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Yeah, well, to give us a way to think about it.
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I don't know that there are always specific answers.
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Because the specific answers would mean that there is a general overall answer for everybody.
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Specific answer would be to say that Victoria's Secret can solve it all.
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And there is no Victor's Secret.
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Yes, yes, yeah.
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You know, and that it's a matter of tips.
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There are a lot of different ways to think about it that actually can change your life.
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But it's not just about tips.
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It's about invitations.
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Right.
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How do we begin to institute that in our lives?
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How do we do that?
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Desire is to own the wanting.
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It's when you know that you want something and often you want it because you can't have it.
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And you feel wanted because someone else is choosing you versus others.
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Yeah.
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And therefore, Which is its own eroticism to feel wanted, isn't it?
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That's it.
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That's it.
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That's it.
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You know, I feel unique, indispensable, irreplaceable.
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I feel chosen.
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I feel special.
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I feel wanted.
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Yeah.
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And I feel loved.
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And that's why so many relationships fall apart because you no longer feel desired or have the desire because you're not desired.
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Correct.
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That's what you just added is important,
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is that it is a reciprocal cycle.
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It is reciprocal.
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So, of course, I respond to your desire.
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You respond to mine.
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If I don't feel yours,
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I can continue to feel desire.
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I can continue to want someone who doesn't want me. That exists.
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But there is something different when I respond to the wanting of someone else.
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Well, 20 years ago you wrote,
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intimacy has become the sovereign antidote for lives of increasing isolation.
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In our world of instant communication,
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we supplement our relationships with an assortment of technological devices in the hope that all these gizmos will strengthen our connections.
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This social frenzy masks a profound hunger for human contact.
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Now, you wrote that in 2006.
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We barely had Facebook.
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I had the chills.
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And you knew then that there was a deeper shift in relationships coming.
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How has intimate contact changed in the 20 years since you wrote this?
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You know what's interesting?
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2006, I'm looking at how do we sustain desire.
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2026, I am more and more busy working with people who don't know how to ignite it in the first place.
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2006. Church!
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It helps.
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Keep doing it.
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Everybody went together.
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Well, audience, we got something to talk about here today.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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And then 2006, basically we were beginning to postpone the age of commitment and marriage.
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Beginning to postpone.
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Yes, by 10 years.
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Yeah.
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Instead of being 1920, we became 2930.
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Yeah.
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Now we postpone basically sex for 10 years.
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It's not happening at 16.
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It's our first experiences is sometimes at 26, related sex.
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That means that there's an entire decade of experiences.
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of looking at somebody, wondering if they're looking at you.
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Do we have eye contact?
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Is it me you're looking at or it's actually the person next to you?
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Maybe I don't have my glasses either.
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You know, sitting next to someone,
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wondering if they're going to touch your leg,
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if there's going to be something.
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Am I as interested as you're interested?
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Is your interest, you know,
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what I think it is?
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Or am I completely delusional?
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All of that teenage, young 20s is really diminishing in full force. And why?
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Because of the devices?
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Because we live in a contactless world more and more,
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because we live in a world where we don't need to
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leave home to do some of the most important things that used to put us into the world and into society.
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Because we have gotten used to having devices in our hands.
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These gizmos, I can't believe I even used that term then.
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You know, that basically you try to give us instant answers without any doubt and ambiguity about where to go,
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what to do, what to eat,
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what to listen to next.
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And it is polished and it is wrinkle free and it is so soft and it is completely frictionless.
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And now I'd want that same experience with you, human.
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And I want you to be as predictable and as perfect
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and as wrinkle-free and polished as this little thing that is playing in my hand all the time.
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Yeah. And then...
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I want no trouble from you.
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I want...
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No. I don't want no trouble.
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Exactly.
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I want no trouble.
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I don't want you to have a bad mood.
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I don't want you to have doubts.
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I don't want you to have needs that compete with my own.
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And I especially don't want you to disagree with me.
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Wow.
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So we can all feel this, right?
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We can feel our disconnection is getting worse.
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But you say there's a path forward.
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What is it?
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I mean, the path forward is that we long for connection.
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That has not changed.
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Well, that's why we have the little gizmo in our hand.
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That's why we're trying to connect.
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The gizmo is an interesting paradox because we have never been more connected and we have never been less accessible.
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Ooh.
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We have never been more connected and we have never been more disconnected.
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Modern loneliness masks itself as hyper-connectivity.
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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Church.
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It's funny, it's like a...
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Yeah, yeah.
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You say couples are so damn tired that they have sex really at the bottom of the to-do list.
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Yeah.
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Here's the Amen Choir over here.
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No, no, this woman's list is so long that the thing doesn't appear on the page anymore.
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It's not even on the page.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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And that, how do we begin to flip that?
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I mean, the first thing is,
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I would say touch before sex.
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Touch.
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Just touch.
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We can live without sex,
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but we can't really live without touch.
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We become irritable, aggressive, depressed.
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We are touch creatures.
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We are held for such a long period before we can even crawl or walk.
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We need that kind of physical connection.
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And one of the things that is changing in this moment is that we are more and more in a disembodied reality.
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We are on screens.
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We don't look up.
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We sit like this.
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We don't notice the people around us.
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We don't have the opportunity to smell,
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to hear gesture, rhythm, sound of voice.
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all these things that come with a body.
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And that is changing the way we love and the way we desire.
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Wow.
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文脈と背景
エスター・ペレルは、恋愛や親密さについて数十年にわたって研究を重ねてきた著名なセラピストです。彼女のインタビューからは、愛やセックスの関係性、さらには恋愛が時間とともにどのように変わってきたかについての深い洞察が得られます。特に、親密さが必ずしも良好なセックスを保証しない理由や、愛する相手との関係における緊張感について探求しています。これらのテーマは、個人の生活における感情的および身体的な側面を理解するために非常に重要です。
日常会話のための5つのフレーズ
- 「親密性があっても、なぜ良いセックスが保証されないのか？」
- 「愛することと欲望がどのように異なるのか？」
- 「禁じられたことはなぜ魅力的なのか？」
- 「長期的なエロティックな欲望の本質は何なのか？」
- 「私たちはどうやって関係の中で活気を維持できるのか？」
これらのフレーズは、英語スピーキング練習やIELTS スピーキング対策に非常に役立ちます。日常的な会話の中で使用することで、より自然に英語を使えるようになります。
段階的シャドーイングガイド
この動画を理解し、効果的にシャドーイングを行うためのステップバイステップのガイドを以下に示します。
- フレーズの選択: 最初に、上記の5つのフレーズを選び、それらをチェックしてください。
- リスニング: 動画を通してリスニングし、エスター・ペレルの話し方やトーンを把握します。
- シャドーイングの実践: 彼女の台詞を耳で聞きながら、声を出して真似します。「英語シャドーイング」技術を使い、イントネーションやアクセントを意識しましょう。
- 録音: 自分の声を録音し、話し方や発音をチェックします。
- 復習: 定期的に練習を繰り返し、フレーズを自然に使えるようになるまで頑張ります。特に、英語スピーキング練習に役立つポイントを意識してください。
このプロセスを通じて、エスター・ペレルの考察を深く理解するだけでなく、英語力を高め、より効果的に会話に参加する力を養うことができます。shadow speechやshadowspeaksを活用しながら、継続的な練習を行ってください。
シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由
シャドーイング（Shadowing）は、もともとプロの通訳者養成プログラムで開発された言語学習法で、多言語習得者として知られるDr. Alexander Arguelles によって広く普及されました。方法はシンプルですが非常に効果的：ネイティブスピーカーの英語を聞きながら、1〜2秒の遅延で声に出してすぐに繰り返す——まるで「影（shadow）」のように話者を追いかけます。文法ドリルや受動的なリスニングと異なり、シャドーイングは脳と口の筋肉が同時にリアルタイムで英語を処理・再現することを強制します。研究により、発音精度、抑揚、リズム、連音、リスニング力、そして会話の流暢さが大幅に向上することが確認されています。IELTSスピーキング対策や自然な英語コミュニケーションを目指す方に特におすすめです。