シャドーイング練習: you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable | ep 9 - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ
レッスンを作成中...
1
Hello, I'm Alex and welcome back to my podcast.
2
I feel like it's been so long since I've done one of these podcasts.
3
I've been so busy guys.
4
I have so many little like life updates to tell you about
5
and then we can talk about the thing that's actually been on my mind
6
that I was like inspired to record this podcast about.
7
Firstly, life updates i have just as of yesterday submitted my final essay for uni let me quickly correct
8
that though because some people have thought that to mean
9
that i'm done with university no i i was only in
10
my first year i'm done with my first year of university
11
but i'm basically done until like i think my next year starts in like october maybe september um
12
but for a few months i'm done so i am free for a little
13
while and i feel like when i hit
14
that submit i suddenly like had this really weird like mindset
15
shift like the first thing i did after like days of not speaking to anyone
16
because i was really locking in on this essay
17
because i was super late with like actually starting it like
18
it probably was not very good i suddenly just like cleaned my whole room
19
and then i just like sat and meditated for ages
20
and then i like read the dhammapada like i don't know what
21
has like possessed me i feel like whatever like spiritual zen vibe i was on before starting my degree
22
and that like i was a bit concerned about
23
because i was like wait why am i not really able to tap into that.
24
I think I was just too busy and like not just busy
25
but like the way I make myself busy in regards to like commitments is I just don't do them
26
and then stress about them.
27
But that's the thing it's like not even I actively stress about it.
28
It's not like I'm like oh I have a ginormous essay
29
that is due in like three days
30
and I've not even done the readings for them yet
31
and I have to just like I really have to crack on with that.
32
It's not like I'm actively anxious because that's always the kind of student I've been
33
and also like not to be cocky
34
but like I've always been fine like I've never had to deal with the punishment of
35
that so like there's nothing really for me to be anxious about
36
but like that is still like obviously I must be a bit anxious
37
because that's still like a really intense position to be in
38
and I think because of that I just wasn't really able to tap into
39
that kind of like slow living vibe that like I was on before
40
and now I am obviously I'm still working like that's another thing also I think like I was kind of downplaying
41
how busy I was like I was a full-time student
42
and also like a full-time worker I think the reason I don't really feel
43
that is because my work is very relaxed like a lot of the time
44
when I say I'm working it's like I'm editing videos and
45
that is like you know I can go do
46
that in the park I can go do
47
that my friend's house I'm still having to work
48
but like it's not the same as like
49
when I used to actually have to go
50
and like work in like a fast food chain
51
and I was like behind the like huge oil chip thing
52
and it's like super hot and I'm like not allowed to leave
53
and I'm not allowed to pee
54
and it was just like well I was allowed to pee that's a lie
55
but like I had to ask to go pee
56
and it was just very like intense whereas it doesn't feel
57
that tense because of
58
that I don't feel like I'm working as many hours as I actually do anyways I'm like going off
59
but basically I have so much more free time than I did before
60
and what has come of
61
that is I just suddenly oh my god like I was
62
journaling last night I journaled today I journaled like I feel like the old soggy rice 3 is back.
63
I feel like the old Soggy Rice 3 was gone for a little bit
64
because I really had to focus on my degree
65
but they're back now and yeah I hope
66
that you guys are happy to hear that as well
67
because sometimes I look back on my old content
68
and I'm like oh like this was really good
69
and I feel like I've not been able to like tap in to what I was doing before um
70
but I think it's just because I was so busy.
71
It's like a lot of what I want to talk about
72
like for example today I want to talk about something a lot of it is very emotionally tied
73
or like requires a lot of reflection
74
and I didn't really have the emotional space to reflect on those things if that makes sense. But yeah
75
so life updates i am free i'm free for a few
76
months now i'm really really happy about it i've been journaling again for a little
77
while now but like today and yesterday i've really been journaling like i woke up
78
and the first thing i did was like i need to write i feel
79
so much i need to write uh
80
and yeah i'm really excited i've got some books
81
that i'm currently reading as well um i'm reading for damapada
82
and the post office girl
83
and i also want to read this like philosophy book as well
84
so basically i just feel like the old soggy rice 3 is back i understand the vibe
85
that I was on before I feel like I lost it
86
and then the moment I handed in
87
that essay I was like she's back she's back also another
88
thing like a random thing before we talk about what I
89
want to talk about today is I am doing this little
90
experiment based off of this TikTok I saw I don't remember
91
the name of the TikToker I will like put the TikTok up on the screen
92
but I know it's really annoying because this is a podcast
93
so I'll also like explain what it is it's basically this
94
TikTok where someone has like covered their mirror with a scarf
95
and the caption like the caption on the TikTok is something like we weren't meant to see ourselves so much.
96
That is something that I have thought about quite a lot, especially in regards to my job and especially when I used to model.
97
In the past, this is such a like level one thought, I'm sure everyone listening to this has thought this before as well, but like before, and I say before, like whatever, in like the caveman times,
98
I don't really know how like historically accurate this is going to be, we would see ourselves only in like, I don't know, reflections like bodies of water,
99
for example, we wouldn't really like have these mirrors that surround us all the time.
100
And for me, like every time I go to the loo, I have a mirror in my bathroom
101
and then I come back into my room and I've got a huge floor length mirror in my room.
102
And when I sit on my bed, I can see myself in my mirror.
103
When I sit on the floor, I can see myself in the mirror.
104
And because of that, I like I'm always surrounded by my reflection.
105
And then like when I was modeling, I also was like having to look at pictures of myself a lot
106
and having to really fuss over the way I looked had to fuss over my reflection had to make sure
107
that my skin was looking great that my hair was looking great
108
that I was looking great it was also just really weird
109
like I had to take my measurements once a week
110
and stuff it was really weird whereas now I'm not having
111
to do it in such a like I don't know like mechanical way in a way that's like
112
so overseen by someone else if that makes sense
113
but I I'm still like right now I'm looking at myself
114
because I'm recording on my phone uh also sorry that I'm not recording my nice camera.
115
I don't know why, I just really wanted like, I think it's like the old Soggy Rice 3.
116
I'm tapped back in.
117
I really wanted to have it like cozy like how it used to be.
118
But also like I, yeah, when I like have to post pictures and videos of myself regularly, when I edit videos of myself, I'm just looking at my face constantly.
119
And I just suddenly was like, that's such a good idea to just like cover my mirror, especially because what I've been doing the past few days as I've been like doing my essays, I've had my phone off.
120
Also guys, screen addiction has been so gone recently.
121
It's been so good.
122
I've just had my phone off.
123
Like all of yesterday I had my phone off except for I switched it on for one minute I think
124
because I had to check something that was only checkable on my phone.
125
I literally checked it for one minute and then switched my phone back off.
126
It's been so good.
127
Because of that I've not really been surrounded by my reflection
128
or my image at all for the past few days and I haven't got any thoughts yet.
129
I do feel a bit different but that could be like
130
so many other things so I don't want to like point to anything specific
131
and say like This is because I've not been looking at myself as much.
132
What I'm going to say is this is like a experiment in progress.
133
Results are pending.
134
I'll let you guys know what I think.
135
It's really nice because I can still use my mirror.
136
I just have to actively be like, okay, now I want to engage with my reflection because I want to do my like evening skincare.
137
So I'm going to choose to move the like scarf to the side, do my skincare and then I put the scarf back into place.
138
So yeah, it's been nice.
139
It's been nice for the very purpose to be like, okay, now I'm going to look at myself.
140
But I'm not also suggesting this is something you should do.
141
This is literally just like an experiment.
142
So we'll see what I find from it.
143
I am curious to see if I feel anything, if I think anything.
144
Basically, I just feel amazing.
145
I feel like all my old good habits have just suddenly like re-entered my body without me even having to try anything.
146
And I think it's just glee over the fact that I have so much free time.
147
I feel like I was built to be unemployed.
148
And I know this is such a like, everyone probably feels this way.
149
Well, actually, no, because I know some people
150
that love working I really really really don't like being tied to like a schedule
151
and deadlines and stuff and I just have to grow up
152
and I have to do it like I mean I do
153
because now I am able to maintain this job
154
which is like difficult because it's like very self-motivated like a lot of deadlines
155
and stuff it's easy to just like pretend they're not there
156
because if I don't open my emails then those deadlines aren't there
157
so like I feel like I have gotten better with it.
158
I think I used to be a lot more when I was young, like I was much more stubborn about like, I never want to work, but I have to work.
159
I think I was also probably like a bit traumatized because there was one point, which I've mentioned before, I think on here, where I was working like 60 hours a week, but I was also really sleep deprived
160
because I was working two jobs where I was working at this fast food place until 3am.
161
And then I was working in a cafe that I'd have to open about like 7am.
162
So I'd have to wake up early and like go to the cafe to open for 7am.
163
So if I had a 3am close and a 7am open, I wasn't really sleeping.
164
And I think I, because I was really young, that was like right after I finished school.
165
I think I associated that with work, which also might be why now I don't feel like I'm working full time.
166
Because I'm working really reasonable hours and I'm sleeping really well and I'm able to take care of myself if I need.
167
Whereas back then, I was like crazy.
168
Like I was really, like I ended up being signed off work because my health was just so bad at the time.
169
So I think maybe that also might be why I was
170
so stubbornly like I cannot ever work because I thought
171
that that's what it meant to work And I was like never again, but then obviously like I have to work because I have to make money I also say like then I was like, oh, I never want to work I want to make it clear
172
because I know some people are lucky enough to be able to like live with their parents
173
and not work I have always had to work like the
174
feeling of I never want to work was not anything that could ever be materialized Like I always had to work.
175
I worked while I was at school
176
But like the moment I left school like I have always
177
been in employment from what I remember Like I think it's very rare that I've had periods of unemployment.
178
So I just want to make that clear that it's not like I'm like, oh, I never want to work and I don't have to because I will be financially supported by my mother.
179
Like I have had to work.
180
How did I even get to this?
181
Anyways, the thing that I want to talk to you guys about, which I it's like a seed of a thought.
182
It's not something I've actually fully developed.
183
And I also feel like it's quite obvious.
184
So I wonder where we will go from here
185
because the seed of the thought that I have is something that is super like, duh, like 13 year old thought that for some reason has just reached me really late.
186
And maybe from that, we'll be able to develop something.
187
For a bit of background context, I have an incredibly low pain tolerance.
188
Like I am very sensitive.
189
Partly, I think that is like, I don't really like, I'm going to use these terms, but I don't entirely know what they mean.
190
All I really know is how it feels to be me.
191
I have like sensory processing issues to do with like the fact that I'm neurodivergent.
192
Like I do struggle with certain sensory experiences.
193
I struggle.
194
They are very overwhelming.
195
But additionally, I think, and this is where I'm not sure if this is like an actual thing or not.
196
I think I actually just am physically, like I register pain.
197
I don't think so.
198
It's not just like as a processing thing, but I think pain actually does feel worse.
199
And that's obviously something that I can't measure.
200
The reason I think that, first of all, I've just had a lot of experiences where like the same thing will happen to me in another person
201
and I will be crying my eyes out and they'll be fine.
202
But one like quite significant where I was like, okay, like the evidence I needed was I went to a dentist once for a hygiene appointment
203
and they were like doing something to my teeth where I had to ask for a break because it was so painful.
204
And they said that most people actually aren't able to even really feel that, or if they do, it's like very mild.
205
Whereas for me, I registered it as painful.
206
So I think that's why I said, I'm not sure.
207
Like, I don't know if that is also because of sensory processing issues, blah, blah, blah.
208
Basically, I feel pain very intensely.
209
And I think because of that, I have a lot of like fear around feeling pain like
210
i really really cannot stand the idea of being in pain
211
and i also cannot stand physical discomfort
212
when i am in a situation where i'm feeling a lot of pain i genuinely
213
and like not in a serious way i don't want to like make light of these feelings
214
but i genuinely sometimes feel like i don't want to live
215
because i like want to like i want to make this experience of pain
216
and discomfort stop it's not serious because i would never do anything about
217
that what i mean is just Like I sometimes ask myself in those situations, like, because I'm curious, would you rather continue living or stop living entirely, never be able to live again and stop this experience?
218
And almost always, I would rather stop the experience of pain.
219
Obviously, then like the pain goes away and then I'm like, oh, I'm fine.
220
But I think that's why I am nervous always about like then being in pain again, because I recognize how like intensely I react to it.
221
Where like emotionally, I'm like, I can't process this.
222
I would rather not be here anymore than feel this pain.
223
I talk quite a lot on here about my fear of death
224
and something that like I also feel is even
225
if I'm not scared of the actual experience or not the experience
226
but I guess the lack of experience like I'm not scared of actually not being here anymore something
227
that I'm really scared of is the process of dying at
228
times that's changed like at points it was the fact
229
that like when you are in the process of dying you are the only person experiencing
230
that you are entirely alone in that experience of death
231
and of dying and that was largely
232
because of reading uh the death of even iliage
233
that like really messed me up for a little while
234
because i'd never thought about it that way but another thing
235
and i think like linked to that is the fact
236
that it is probably really painful like something i think a lot about drowning i don't want to drown not
237
because i don't want to die but
238
because i don't want to even for a moment experience what
239
it must be like to drown i don't want to ever be
240
in that much pain i can't even imagine how much pain
241
that is but
242
because i'm not even able to to handle like quite regular
243
like I don't know like a paper cut how would I be able to experience
244
that and I don't know the two might be very linked actually now
245
that I think about the thing about loneliness
246
and about pain I think something that I don't like about pain is
247
that like that is something that I experience alone
248
and I think I'm really lucky to have really warm sweetie pie people around me particularly like my friends
249
and my partner if I'm feeling bad they are
250
so like oh didoms like come here sweetie like they're really lovely
251
but when I'm in pain they can't meet me there i'm the one that's experiencing pain
252
and i think it makes me feel really alone
253
and this is separate to like also it's not just this
254
existential like whoa actually i experience life entirely as this single vessel
255
that can never truly be intertwined with another vessel like it's not just
256
that it also is just like i'm a wuss
257
and i don't like being in pain
258
but yeah i think i've just realized i think it is also tied to
259
that kind of loneliness aspect
260
that like no one can experience this with me i have
261
to go through this experience entirely alone it is really bad
262
though like for example right now I am a bit uncomfortable
263
because I have this blister
264
that like guys also let me know what the hell this
265
might be I don't know I had this blister randomly appear on my face
266
but I didn't burn my face
267
and like I'm fine everywhere else I just like had a blister suddenly appear
268
and I've been putting Vaseline on it I don't know
269
if you're supposed to do that but apparently
270
that helps to like make sure it doesn't scar when it heals
271
but I'm so aware of it as I speak
272
and I can just feel that there is something there
273
and it doesn't hurt it has hurt at points but right now doesn't hurt.
274
I'm just uncomfortable and I'm aware of that discomfort.
275
Immediately my experience of life is like 10% less enjoyable.
276
No more than that, like 30% less enjoyable because I'm aware of something slightly uncomfortable on my face.
277
And it's weird because I'm like, I'm a very, like in other ways, very tough person.
278
Like I'm able to handle very intense emotional pain pretty well.
279
It's just physical.
280
Like this is strictly a very physical bodily discomfort I'm unable to handle.
281
The problem is obviously like I do feel pain.
282
I am often in situations where I'm a lot of pain my last video
283
which was my may favorites i ended up speaking loads about the fact
284
that i have horrific horrific period cramps
285
which i have not been well no i've been seen by
286
a doctor about it my doctor was just kind of like
287
kind of like nuts to be honest like it was really like medical misogyny my doctor said
288
that the reason i have period pain so bad
289
that i like actually used to like nearly black out like
290
i was blacking out i would have to like throw myself
291
into the bath i'd be panting like an animal from the amount of pain i was in
292
and my doctor said it is because women store their emotions in the uterus.
293
So on days when my period's that bad, maybe I'm just being a little bit more emotional than usual.
294
So I didn't go back to my doctor.
295
I think I might maybe ask to see a different doctor.
296
Basically, blah blah blah blah blah.
297
Since uploading that video, I did more research about other random symptoms I have too
298
and I do feel like my experience aligns with endometriosis obviously i am not diagnosed with
299
that this is like stage one where i'm just kind of having the idea
300
that maybe that is potentially something i experienced
301
but like a big reason for that is
302
that like the intensity of the pain i feel really aligns
303
with like other stories of how intense the pain is
304
when you have endometriosis i also have like loads of other random symptoms
305
but anyways i do experience a lot of pain in my life around my period it is
306
so bad that i'm sometimes unable to move because i'm in
307
so much pain
308
so like i need to get over it i also feel discomfort a lot i can't stand
309
when it's hot i get really faint when it's hot
310
and what am i gonna just like pause living whenever it's
311
like a heat wave especially now with how many heat waves
312
we have like no i have to continue right now i have this blister on my face
313
and it's really uncomfortable am i gonna have to just stop
314
living like no i need to like i need to get over it
315
and i need to be able to handle discomfort and paint sorry
316
that was such long context i feel like i've been talking for
317
so long i think i've just missed talking to you guys
318
so suddenly i'm like but basically the level one thought is just
319
that i was speaking to my mom's friend about it no i was speaking to my friend's mum about it
320
and she said something about how like she kind of checked
321
me she kind of pointed out in a very nice way
322
about how privileged it is to be like oh i can't stand being in pain like every now
323
and then um and she was like look like in a lot of places
324
and in a lot of times it was very normal to
325
be in a lot of pain for example there were times
326
this is all very non-historical by the way um there were times
327
and there are still places where children have to work very difficult like physical labor jobs
328
and it is very very uncomfortable for their bodies but
329
that discomfort is just part of their lives
330
and they just accept like pain is a part of their life
331
and i was thinking about how like first of all grateful i am
332
that like pain is not a regular part of my life
333
but then i was like
334
but it could be like i could have pain as a
335
regular part of my life for example another thing again like
336
all these worries about future pain I might have I like over pronate like crazy
337
when I walk and I've been told by a doctor
338
that like that's probably gonna lead to a lot of hip pain
339
when I'm old um and I'm nervous about
340
that now at like 22 I'm like oh my god
341
when I'm old I'm probably gonna have hip pain like yeah I probably am
342
and it's mad that I'm like unable to like have a good time now
343
because of the pain I might be in when I'm older
344
and I think my mum's friend oh god my friend's mum
345
I think my friend's mum saying like for a lot of
346
people like obviously she just used like children working as an example but like
347
for a lot of people being in pain is just a part of their life
348
and they just have to like accept that and choose to keep living
349
and choose to keep loving their lives really quickly like for
350
me like i think growing up with a lot of like i'm great now
351
but growing up i had a lot of issues with my health
352
and that wasn't really like physically uncomfortable
353
but it did manifest in me being really like depressed at points in my life
354
and i think because of
355
that like i mentioned at one point in this video like
356
I am fine dealing with emotional discomfort I accept emotional discomfort
357
I'm really good now like I genuinely am really really mentally well
358
but I think a large part of that is because I'm
359
so mentally unwell growing up because of
360
that like I I'm able to be like oh okay like for example
361
when sometimes I get like really badly seasonally depressed I'm able to be like okay now I am seasonally depressed
362
but I still even though I feel so horrible
363
and I don't want to get out of bed
364
and I genuinely in my heart feel like there is no
365
joy at all in the world I still am choosing to get up
366
and I still I'm gonna make myself a nice beautiful delicious big breakfast
367
and I am still going to clean my room
368
and I'm still gonna take care of myself
369
and I'm able to kind of just chug along in a way
370
that I can't with physical pain I think partly
371
because I've been really lucky to not have to actually like live through much physical pain
372
but again I don't want to downplay the pain
373
that I have experienced it's just never been physical
374
and I think maybe that's why I kind of like
375
when I feel physical discomfort I'm like whoa this is like a horrible new experience
376
that I don't want anything to do with
377
and basically I kind of like after speaking to my friend's
378
mum I like try to reframe the way I view pain as more
379
so how I view I guess like emotional pain which is
380
that like to consent to be alive to choose to be
381
alive I am choosing to accept pain like I have to accept pain
382
or I could not and I could be miserable whenever I'm in pain like I am now
383
but like to be alive is to be in pain sometimes
384
and it's weird because yeah like I said I've wrapped my head around the emotional pain aspect
385
but I don't know why I'm so averse
386
that like I can't stand the idea of being in physical pain weirdly thinking about it
387
that way helped and again i feel like this is
388
so obvious and also like i don't know
389
if there's any people who are watching this who do struggle
390
with like long-term pain um who do have maybe like issues with their health
391
that lead to them just being in pain a lot of the time
392
if so like i'm also really sorry
393
that you had to hear my like really privileged take of
394
like oh my god sometimes my like period pains flare up like for one week in the month
395
and it's like super painful like it's like yeah basically that's
396
my point i guess is i realized how silly it was
397
and how rooted in this assumption
398
that like I deserve to be pain-free all the time I've managed to kind of finally like lock
399
that view about pain into my like general more core value system
400
and one of my kind of core value system ideas
401
which I'm gonna explain really poorly now
402
because it's really more of a feeling is this understanding
403
that like I am not any more deserving than anyone else who exists
404
or anything else that exists I am not any more deserving of joy of wonder of happiness of health of safety
405
than any other human being alive.
406
And I don't know why that didn't like, I mean, I rationally know that about pain.
407
I'm not any more deserving of being pain-free than anyone else, but I wouldn't act like that because whenever I'd experienced like a little, like I'd stub my toe and I'd be like, oh my God, this is happening to me.
408
This shouldn't be happening to me.
409
But it's like, no, like why would it not happen to me over anyone else?
410
And I think like kind of interpreting that through the way I interpret other things and through that more general value system,
411
which is that like to be alive is consenting to all these things that happen to all these people.
412
Those things could happen.
413
That doesn't mean that it's fair, right?
414
If now I were to, I don't know, let's say it is endometriosis and let's say it gets worse.
415
And let's say that I actually am like really, like I couldn't imagine being in more pain to be honest with how bad the period pains get sometimes.
416
But let's say they do get even, even worse.
417
That is not fair.
418
I don't deserve to be in that much pain, but I don't, no one deserves to be in that much pain, you know, I'm not any less deserving of that pain than anyone else.
419
That doesn't mean it's fair.
420
That doesn't mean I also shouldn't go see a doctor about it.
421
But I feel like this like sudden feeling of like, why me, why me?
422
Like, no, this can't be happening to me.
423
I feel like is quite irrational and also just ends up causing like it's irrational
424
because it causes me more pain Because then i'm mentally fighting against the fact
425
that it's even happened And I feel like I need to tap back in especially now
426
that my essays are over
427
and i'm able to be sent again I need to tap back into
428
that radical acceptance Some people misunderstand when I talk about acceptance
429
and this is more so
430
when I used to talk about it more I feel like i've not spoken about it in a
431
while because i've been a student and because of
432
that for some reason I was unable to be chill
433
when I used to talk about acceptance some people thought
434
that meant like oh
435
if someone smacks me across the face i accept i've been smacked in the face
436
and then i won't do anything about it no
437
if someone smacks me in the face i would say like
438
hey can you not smack me in the face please that's
439
really really unkind what's your problem assuming it's a friend
440
if it was like a stranger i'd probably like i don't know like go find a safe space
441
but to accept it is like what i mean by accepting is
442
that rather than being like oh my god i can't believe
443
this happened to me no this couldn't have happened i'm really fighting against the reality
444
that like it did happen just being like no like it did happen
445
and now what am i going to do about it rather than fighting against the fact
446
that like it even happened in the first place.
447
Something also I like to think about is the fact that like what I am craving in those moments where I'm like, oh my god, no, like I can't believe that my best friend smacked me across the face.
448
Okay, let's actually come up with a better example.
449
Oh my god, I just thought of one and it like actually like said it showed down my spine.
450
Let's imagine that my best friend is cheating on me with my boyfriend.
451
Wait, no, i mean my boyfriend cheating me my best friend but no
452
if my best friend got my boyfriend i feel like she's
453
cheating on me too like both of them are cheating on me literally like nightmare situation if
454
that has happened to any of you like i genuinely like i feel like i cannot imagine many worse things
455
but let's imagine that happened right to accept
456
that i don't mean to be like okay guys
457
and you guys are still my best friend and my boyfriend
458
and i want to hang out with you guys still
459
and i completely am fine that this happened that's not what i mean by like accept that it happens.
460
I mean just like rather than fight against the truth, just to be like okay my best friend is sleeping with my boyfriend,
461
hypothetically, and I now choose to distance myself from both of them
462
because that isn't the relationship I consented to with either of them.
463
I don't want to be close with someone who is
464
so careless with my feelings and I choose to cut both of them off and I let go of the situation.
465
And I guess then the second point that I wanted to make, which I felt that this
466
hypothetical like illustrate a bit better is that I think
467
when I push back too much against accepting a situation for
468
what it is what I am doing actually is I am like craving for a universe in
469
which that didn't happen I think that kind of explains what I mean better
470
because I feel like what I'm saying is really obvious
471
but I'm trying to get to something a bit deeper
472
and I'm doing it really miserably because I've not spoken about these things in a while so
473
when I'm like oh my god I can't believe this happened
474
no why me this shouldn't happen what I'm thinking about is like
475
I am imagining a situation in which my best friend
476
and my boyfriend weren't sleeping together but
477
that universe does not exist there is no universe in which
478
that didn't happen and
479
so I have to accept no I am in the universe the only universe in
480
which my boyfriend and my best friend did sleep together what am I gonna do with
481
that knowledge now
482
and I don't know why none of these like weird like
483
unnecessarily like very intense spiritual philosophical ideas about the world I have
484
that like allow me to actually like feel really comfortable
485
and happy and zen in the world in a way that's kind of roundabout
486
and I feel like it's just a really like the longest
487
path possible like the scenic route to acceptance I don't know why
488
that doesn't apply to pain and basically now
489
that like it's been pointed out to me
490
so obviously I suddenly I'm like oh
491
when for example I'm having those horrific cramps awful awful awful period cramps where I I'm
492
so like I can't stress how painful they are I'm not able to move
493
because I'm in
494
so much pain instead of being like no why me why
495
me this shouldn't be happening to me I don't deserve this that's not what I rationally think
496
but like maybe that's like what I think deep down maybe
497
that's why I'm having such a strong emotional aversion to pain what I am craving is a universe in
498
which I am not in pain and
499
that universe does not exist I am in the universe in
500
which I'm in pain
501
so what am I going to do about it probably I should take a paracetamol
502
because even though I'm in so much pain not
503
because I'm a medical skeptic I think it's just
504
because I grew up with eastern european family who are all like I'll just tough it out
505
because I'm so strong and I want to do things the natural way um
506
so first of all I probably take a paracetamol, take little sips of water, call my brother or something to go
507
and get me a hot water bottle please
508
and then book a doctor's appointment with a different doctor to speak to about what I'm feeling.
509
I don't know, I just feel like this is so obvious, I'm sure anyone who has thought about pain before has thought of this
510
but I just really never thought about it so simply and I think especially because I'm so scared of being in pain, I feel like this has really helped me.
511
When I am dying and I'm in pain, there is no universe in which I was not dying and not in pain when i die and i'm in pain, there's no need to say like,
512
oh well maybe it's not my time to go yet, oh well maybe if i'd done this then i wouldn't be dying
513
and in pain right now when i'm dying and i'm in pain, that is what is happening and i have to just accept
514
that is what is happening and if i'm in horrible pain and my body's in horrible pain, i just have to accept it because i'm in that situation now,
515
there's nothing else i can do me feeling awful about it is not gonna help
516
if i'm dying and i'm in pain this has been the worst soggy race 3 podcast episode
517
because i am genuinely speaking about things that are so obvious
518
but i just never thought about it
519
that way i made some notes let's check
520
if i actually have even stuck to the notes yeah okay
521
i didn't really write much i basically wrote what i've said now
522
which is that yeah i used to be so
523
so scared of pain and i think it's
524
because painlessness was seen as my default and i couldn't believe
525
that the universe dared to set me out of my default
526
and have me feel a little bit of pain in my stubbed toe
527
but basically i think that that might really help me i think
528
that that mindset towards pain has really helped and i think think
529
that it's nice it's been a nice refresher of what i feel deepest downest anyways
530
which is this kind of radical acceptance like i feel like
531
it has been my guiding light in my life thank you stoicism thank you like meditating loads
532
when i was young thank you having really like hippie spiritual
533
friends thank you universe for teaching me radical acceptance it's just
534
so good it's just so good and i did think for a
535
while like maybe it's just like as a way of coping with pain
536
but like yeah because
537
when you are in a situation it's like i could argue about the injustice of the situation
538
and stuff but i can do that in a different way like again i think
539
so many people just think
540
that i'm just like i don't know i allow people to be horrible to me
541
and i allow people to like step all over me
542
and then i don't do anything about it
543
because i just accept like no i actually i think i've
544
got really good firm personal boundaries i've gotten way better at handling conflict
545
and stuff like that i feel like no not at all like i'm actually i'm very good at being like, I don't like this, so I don't want this to happen.
546
I don't like that.
547
But the point is, I am approaching all of that not from a, I don't want this to happen to me, and I can't believe it has happened.
548
And I'm so upset because it even has happened.
549
And now I'm going to really ruminate about the fact that it has happened, and I can't believe it even could have happened to me.
550
Instead, I'm just like, no, I don't like that that happened.
551
But it did.
552
So what am I going to do about it?
553
I'm sorry that this has been not like the most profoundly interesting or anything, like podcast.
554
I feel like this has been more so like for myself than for you guys.
555
I hope that you guys bear with
556
because I am loading I'm booting back up to spiritual Alex
557
but I feel like I have to like remember the core lessons again
558
and the core lessons I've already shared with you guys
559
so I'm sure for you guys this is boring recap oh
560
where where you're such a baby Alex what you're in pain
561
and you forgot to remember
562
that you are no less deserving of pain than anyone else in the world okay level one stoic um
563
but I have been out of the loop with this kind of thinking for a
564
while because I've just been so busy and I think I've been
565
so emotionally busy if that makes sense um especially
566
because like I know that I'm keeping my course like a secret
567
and I've not been speaking about uni
568
and that's just like not for any deep boundary I just for some reason was like oh what
569
if I just like don't ever talk about the degree
570
that I'm doing in order to kind of have a bit of separation from my work
571
and my studying and since doing that I've been very comfortable
572
so just know that is why I don't talk about my degree online
573
but it is quite an intense degree in terms of like
574
what is expected of me not even like emotionally it's not like I'm doing anything that hands-on
575
but like it is quite intense in regards to like the
576
things I'm learning it takes a lot out of me in a way that isn't like, I don't know, the way
577
that like studying medicine takes a lot of time out of you
578
and it takes a lot of effort to like learn, right?
579
It's more so like it takes a lot out of me that also this job takes from me.
580
And because of that, I just haven't had the room to explore how I feel
581
and what I think and to remind myself to sharpen the mind.
582
But now I have the time to again.
583
So hopefully I'll be back with something a bit more profound to talk about next time, because this was really level one stuff.
584
But nonetheless, thank you so much for watching.
585
I don't know
586
if you can tell how much more alive I feel it
587
might just all be in my head maybe I don't come across any different at all
588
so let me know
589
if you feel like I'm acting a bit different in this
590
video please let me know any thoughts you have in the comments please like this video
591
if you like this video please subscribe
592
if you haven't already I like to talk a lot I chat a lot I tend to talk about books
593
and journaling and living slow
594
and the kind of stuff I spoke about in this podcast today
595
and I feel like I'll be doing a lot better talking now
596
that I'm free because before I feel like I was very in my head
597
and I don't know if that came across in my videos.
598
I will disappear again in October when my degree starts again but for now you can enjoy me while I'm here.
599
Anyways thank you so much for watching
600
and I'll see you guys next week hopefully with something a little bit more interesting to talk about.
601
Bye bye!
📺 同じチャンネル
B21
know yourself without labelling yourself
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
you are constantly changing and that's brilliant!!
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
Why Being 'Behind' in your 20s is Brilliant.
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B13
you are creating your own suffering
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
✨ おすすめ動画
B21
545 文
WHY YOU NEED TO GET OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE | getting over your fears & anxieties + just doing it!
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
329 文
Why You Feel So Busy All The Time | Real English Conversation
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
332 文
Joe Rogan Motivation- Difficulty’s and laziness
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B12,649
11 文
The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Students (Part 6) 💯
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B2114 文
Everything changes when you stop playing it safe
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2136 文
Are you making yourself miserable?
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
316 文
life update
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B1241 文
Why Life Never Gets Easier (Life is Tough) | Slow English Podcast #learnenglishpodcast #mindfulness
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
79 文
Why being bored is a good thing
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
365 文
productive days in my apartment 🚕 working for myself and living alone in nyc
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
490 文
English Podcast for Easy English Conversation | Healthy Habits to Change Your Life | Learn English
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
この動画は誰におすすめ？
日常会話のリズムや自然な表現を学びたい中級レベルの学習者、特にIELTS スピーキング対策をしている人にぴったりです。話者のAlexがリラックスした口調で自身の体験を語る様子は、シャドーイングの練習に最適で、「忙しさの中での生活のリズム」などリアルな話題を通じて、実用的な表現を身につけられます。
覚えておきたいフレーズとイディオム
- lock in on：集中する。「essayにlock in onする」のように使い、課題に没頭する様子を表します。
- slow living vibe：ゆったりとした生活の雰囲気。現代人の共通課題である「忙しさ」に対する対応を語る際に便利な表現です。
- downplay：過小評価する。「how busy I wasをdownplayする」のように、自分の忙しさをあまり大げさに言わない様子を表します。
これらのフレーズはshadowing siteで繰り返し練習することで、自然に使えるようになります。
アクセントと発音のポイント
Alexの発音はリラックスしており、特に弱読みが多いのが特徴です。例えば「I've been so busy guys」の「so」は軽く発音され、「guys」の語尾は伸ばされます。シャドーイングをする際は、このリズムを捉えることが重要です。また、「ginormous」（非常に大きな）のような強調語はアクセントを置き、感情を表現しているので、その抑揚を真似ることで、より自然な話し方が身につきます。shadowspeakやshadow speakの練習でこれらのポイントを意識すると、IELTS スピーキングのスコアアップにも繋がります。
この動画の文法
話し手がよく使っている文型を、動画の実際の表現とともに紹介します。
| 文型 | 動画での表現 |
|---|---|
| 「used to」 used to + 動詞 — 今はもう違う過去の習慣や状態 | used to actually · used to model · used to be |
| 現在完了進行形 have/has been + -ing — 以前に始まり今も続いている動作 | i've been journaling · i've really been journaling · I've been doing |
| 条件文 if + 節, will/would + 動詞 — 条件とその結果 | if it was like a stranger i'd probably · if i'd done this then i wouldn't be |
| 現在完了形 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去の出来事が今も関係している | I've done · I've been · have thought |
シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由
シャドーイング（Shadowing）は、もともとプロの通訳者養成プログラムで開発された言語学習法で、多言語習得者として知られるDr. Alexander Arguelles によって広く普及されました。方法はシンプルですが非常に効果的：ネイティブスピーカーの英語を聞きながら、1〜2秒の遅延で声に出してすぐに繰り返す——まるで「影（shadow）」のように話者を追いかけます。文法ドリルや受動的なリスニングと異なり、シャドーイングは脳と口の筋肉が同時にリアルタイムで英語を処理・再現することを強制します。研究により、発音精度、抑揚、リズム、連音、リスニング力、そして会話の流暢さが大幅に向上することが確認されています。IELTSスピーキング対策や自然な英語コミュニケーションを目指す方に特におすすめです。