์๋์ ์ฐ์ต: HOW TO START TALKING TO PEOPLE ๐ฌ - ์์์ผ๋ก ์์ด ๋งํ๊ธฐ ๋ฐฐ์ฐ๊ธฐ
๋ ์จ ๋ง๋๋ ์ค...
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My name's Shawna and I say I have trained myself to be very good with conversation despite having social anxiety.
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You wanna know how I got here?
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Hello everyone!
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Welcome to the channel!
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If you're new, if you're not, if you're a member of Shaw Nation, damn me up real quick.
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Actually, let's do a better one.
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Yeah!
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That's how it's done.
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I'm telling you.
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Today, We're gonna have a sit down.
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We're gonna have a real ass talk about struggling with conversation today because guess what bitch?
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I know how it feels.
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I am such a...
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I'd like to say at least I am such a smooth talker.
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Like I've been really good with conversation these past few years.
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But like people get shocked when I tell them I have anxiety.
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I really used to be afraid of people, especially like groups of people.
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Ugh, it really sucks hanging out in groups of people
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when you don't know how to talk in the first place
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because then you just feel ignored the whole time and you go home feeling sad.
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I wanted to fix that.
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So I did and it's a huge flex and I'm really proud of myself for it.
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So let's talk about that.
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Hashtag Good Mythical Morning.
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You got gay cool people?
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When I think of myself as a socially anxious person, I imagine myself as a little 14 year old.
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Little 14 year old Shauna girl.
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I was severely alone, like in real life.
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I did not have a lot of friends at that age at all.
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Um, but I did have a lot of online friends.
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I bring up online friendships, not in a bad way.
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But I will say they really conditioned me to only be able to talk or type.
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Behind your screen.
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Never had any face to face practice. Or contact.
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Besides school, but I would skip every fucking day, so whatever.
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When I was face to face with someone, I would let them take the wheel completely.
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I would hope to God they knew what to say.
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Cause if they didn't, I wasn't gonna break the ice.
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I didn't know how, that's too scary.
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And then there's gonna be an awkward silence.
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And it's gonna get awkward, and I'm gonna get scared because I feel embarrassed and I don't know what to do.
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And then I'm gonna go home.
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and feel really stupid and small.
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And group settings didn't help either because like I said, I would just let others take control of the conversation.
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I would never add anything myself and that would kind of make me feel like I was excluded from the group.
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But yeah, and then I'd go home and I'd feel stupid again for not contributing to the group.
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I cannot keep doing this.
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And the worst part was when I wanted to talk so bad, but I was already so embarrassed that I haven't been talking that I literally like couldn't talk.
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Like it feels like it My throat was closing up.
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It's like the same feeling like
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when you get choked up before you start crying except I wasn't gonna cry I was just
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so fucking stressed cuz I didn't know what to say
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if you know you know because I know and I'm so sorry and I'm here to help you today
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Hopefully I hope you take a few notes.
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So get out a pen and paper and let mama take the wheel Okay, my first piece of advice tip one if you're feeling like choked up like that if you get that way
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such fucking like, just go outside advice.
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But please believe me, it helps.
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Deep breathing.
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I know when people say just breathe, like you kinda get mad and you're like, I am breathing, but please breathe.
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I know you're probably getting, I gotta fucking breathe.
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I'm getting it worked up.
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The fuck?
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Just like slow your breathing for a moment and really just like think about what you want to say.
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Like just think.
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What's on your mind?
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It could be on topic or off topic.
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Just feel out the vibe.
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I'm not saying sit there like you Like waiting the dog, but like you know just sit there like I This is true.
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I don't know just breathe bitch.
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So when you're in a state You got your little breaths in.
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You actually like feel calm enough to start talking.
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The moment that hits... In the middle of
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that exhale start talking whatever you got to say whatever you
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want to say just whatever you're thinking of just start talking don't hesitate
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if you Stutter keep going if you get embarrassed
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if you fucking cough weird you got clear throat who cares
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keep talking girl It's like taking a shot of vodka like I and then you drink.
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Except you exhale and then you just start talking.
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Really though, like, exhaling and then talking, like, and just not thinking.
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Just think about the exhale rather than what's coming out of your mouth, honestly.
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Girl, talk to strangers!
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That's the second tip!
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Talk to a fucking stranger.
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Say hi to a bitch!
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Put yourself out there!
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Like, this is the number one way I have built up, like, my confidence.
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This is probably the most valuable tip I'm gonna give you, so listen up.
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Yes, talking to strangers!
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Like, friends are fun, and, like, good practice, and nice to see of course, but, like, talking to strangers, that's where you're gonna get better at phone calls, that's where you're gonna get better at public speaking.
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If you do that, I don't, but, like...
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I mean, I kinda do.
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speaking from the privacy of my own home it is talking
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to strangers is legit like the best exposure therapy like tip I can give you for talking to strangers for
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Conversation in general.
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It's all about exposure therapy girl It's all about practice practice makes perfect
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and the best part is even if it turns sour girl it's a stranger oh Bye -bye.
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I never got to see you again.
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It's not that deep.
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Don't get that like caught up over it.
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If it turns sour just let go move on girl It's kind of hard
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when you're so fucking shy and anxious
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that like the slightest fucking leave me alone will send you into I'm sorry mode
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but you gotta learn to just let it go a good way to start like I putting yourself out there
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and like talking to people more is start by like asking questions Like, do you know the way to this street? Or...
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do you know what time the bus comes?
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Fucking how are you?
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Literally, like, if someone is like standing next to you, bus stop or something, What's up?
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You know, how are you?
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We - we up to.
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That can go so far and like that bitch might be the same as you girl trying to talk to people.
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Anyone.
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That can make someone's fucking day.
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And it can make your day too if it sparks something up.
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It could be a real touching fucking convo at the end of the day.
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And after a while you'll start getting more comfortable with asking more like friendly or like Not personal, but like, can I bum a cigarette?
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Where do you shop at?
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Like your clothes are cute.
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Where do you shop at?
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Apply the same principles as the deep breathing tip to this tip.
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Like don't think too hard, just talk.
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You cannot care too much about what comes out of your mouth
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or else you will hesitate and you'll zip your fucking lips.
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I mean like of course think about how the other person feels, like feel out the vibe, but like at the same time like just talk to someone bro.
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Say what is on your mind.
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Like, be real!
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If you're thinking it, say it.
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Tell us your truth.
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Talk about the goddamn weather if you want.
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Like, who cares if it's been said?
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If it's a gorgeous day?
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Pretty nice out, isn't it?
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Yeah, it is.
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Like, it's that fucking simple.
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And even if it just stops there, you got your practicing, girl.
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And I will say, like, training your mouth to go with the same speed as your thoughts, it can get you a little bit too chatty sometimes,
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especially if you have ADHD like me.
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Whenever that happens, I'll give you a good comment.
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Conversation starter tip too.
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I just go sorry.
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I'm like talking too fast.
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I have ADHD.
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Oh Sorry I'm off topic, I got ADHD bro.
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You know the number one response I get every single time I say that?
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Me too.
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Everyone got fucking ADHD bro.
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Like everyone and boom that's another fucking thing to talk about right there.
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Just like learn to snowball your conversation.
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Topic after topic into a big beautiful snowman.
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Does that make sense?
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I don't know, but you know what I mean?
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And give out compliments!
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Don't be a pussy!
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Compliment come on.
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I'm turning red in the face.
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That's a totally passionate.
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I have a given compliments and be kind I've given out
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so many compliments I'm to the point where
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if I don't give someone a compliment like
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if I hesitate I will feel guilty and and sorry the entire fucking day, dude.
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Make someone's day, be there for someone.
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It'll make you feel so good.
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And if the person has kind of like a, thanks, Reaction?
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Let go.
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Think about the positive, like, experiences when that negative shit happens.
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Like, that's happened to me before, but I still give out compliments
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because I think of the people whose faces light the fuck up when I give them a compliment.
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And they're like, "Thank you !" and they compliment me back.
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And it's everything.
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Like, doesn't that feel so good?
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Be like Judy Jupiter.
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Give - make him do a 360 spin when you see a diva on the block.
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Okay?
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Yes.
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I wanted to make this video
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because I've gotten a lot of comments from subscribers being like I'd love to be you
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or like I want to do YouTube I could never start a channel.
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It's always I could never do
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that I could never me neither till I started one like I could never have
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when I was 14 - but now I'm 22
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and I grew a pair of testes
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So I did it like you have to change and I'm not just talking about YouTube I'm talking about conversation.
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I'm talking about anything if you want it
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you would
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that is true as fuck you have to want it just
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like anything else in this world you have to want to
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talk to people to talk to people to be good at talking to them you got to want to talk
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if you want to be shy and like stuck in your shell
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if you're comfortable there then of course you're gonna take a little nap there
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and hibernate but if you're ready to come out and see this world then come out bitch pull your limbs out
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and crawl around and see what's up These sweat pits are distracting me.
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But you know what I mean.
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Like I said, even if you just start by like nodding at people, like, When we see you with someone on the street, do the fucking white guy.
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Hold the door open for someone.
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You're welcome.
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Cool.
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Talk to someone.
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Like that's interacting with people and yes girl you did that.
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Of course you will have awkward or angry encounters like I've worked in customer service girl I've had people screaming at me.
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But you gotta let it go.
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I keep saying that I'm gonna say it like MJ you gotta let it go.
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He took over my body.
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But like just let that go and try again with someone else.
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And I promise you it'll be better next time.
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Like I swear to God.
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But like these tips have helped me thrive socially.
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I swear to God.
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I would be nothing if I didn't try these tips.
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I always say I would be nothing without dot dot dot.
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But like this video bitch like I swear to God is true.
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Like these tips are essential to my everyday life.
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I would be so shut in if it was not for this shit I'm telling you about.
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practicing being good with conversation because it's taken me years.
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I've probably been like actually practicing putting myself out there since I've been like 19?
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18?
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19 probably and the rewards they've been magnificent bro like my life is just so
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Bubbly and fun talking to just anyone I want it's awesome as fuck to be
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so free with conversation and
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so fluid with your speech you watching this video I promise
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you you can get to this state there may be a hater watching being like oh It's because you have pretty privilege.
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I promise you pretty privilege for me is probably only like a third of it.
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The rest is just being so magnetic and kind and passionate about what people have to say.
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I swear to you it's my personality girl.
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The looks, yes, I'm hot.
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But I promise, I hate when people are like it's pretty privilege.
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No bitch, I'm confident and I know how to talk to people.
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People feel confident like opening up to me like when I'm on the bus.
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Like I am magnetic and it's pretty privilege.
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It's 'cause I'm social and I care and people can tell.
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Like people recognize kindness and confidence and I promise you people will return the energy back.
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You will be rewarded heavily, heavily, if you just start talking to people.
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So many opportunities will flow to you.
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It will just bring you so much good karma.
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I could talk about it for hours.
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I'm literally swooning, I'm over here like, "Yeah !" But it's so true, I can't stress it enough.
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I promise to God you can do it.
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I was equally as pretty at 14 People were sour as fuck to me on the street.
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And now I thrive.
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I blossom socially.
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But yeah, that's it.
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Ow!
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I broke my nail.
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Ugh, I didn't break it but it's falling off.
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I have five nails remaining.
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Anyways.
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If you liked this little sit down chit chat, let me know.
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Give this video a little like.
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If you like me, subscribe to my channel.
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You know the drill.
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If you want to follow me elsewhere, almost all my socials are the same handle as this channel.
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Please.
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์ด ๋ ์จ์ ์ดํ์ ๋งํ๊ธฐ ํฌ์ธํธ
์ด B2 ์์ค ๋งํ๊ธฐ ๋ ์จ์ ์์ โHOW TO START TALKING TO PEOPLE ๐ฌโ์(๋ฅผ) ๋ฐํ์ผ๋ก ํฉ๋๋ค. ์ด ์์์๋ ์๋์ํ ๋ฌธ์ฅ 249๊ฐ์ ๋จ์ด 2444๊ฐ๊ฐ ์์ต๋๋ค. ๋งํ๋ ๊ตฌ๊ฐ์ ๊ธธ์ด๋ 12:58์ ๋๋ค. ํ์๋ ๋ถ๋น ์ฝ 188๋จ์ด๋ก ๋น ๋ฅด๊ฒ ๋งํ๋ฏ๋ก ์ฐ์๊ณผ ์ฝํ๊ฒ ๋ฐ์๋๋ ์๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ๋ง์ต๋๋ค. ๋จ์ด์ 84%๊ฐ ์์ด์์ ๊ฐ์ฅ ๋ง์ด ์ฐ์ด๋ 3,000๋จ์ด์ ์ํฉ๋๋ค. ๋๋จธ์ง๋ ์ฐ์ต ์ ์ ๋ฏธ๋ฆฌ ํ์ธํด ๋์ธ์.
์ด ์์์ ํต์ฌ ์ดํ
์์์์ ๊ฐ์ฅ ์ด๋ ค์ด ๋จ์ด 15๊ฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ์, ๋ป๊ณผ ํจ๊ป ์ ๋ฆฌํ์ต๋๋ค.
| ๋จ์ด | ๋ฐ์ | ๋ป |
|---|---|---|
| compliment ๋ช ์ฌ | /หkษmplษmษnt/ | ์นญ์ฐฌ, ์ฐฌ์ฌ |
| exhale ๋์ฌ | /หษksหheษชฬฏl/ | ๋ด์ฌ๋ค |
| privilege ๋ช ์ฌ | /หpษนษชv.(ษช.)lษชdอกส/ | ํน๊ถ |
| hesitate ๋์ฌ | /หhษz.ษ.teษชt/ | ๋ง์ค์ด๋ค |
| sour ํ์ฉ์ฌ | /หsaส.ษ/ | ์์ด์ง |
| embarrassed ํ์ฉ์ฌ | /ษชmหbรฆษน.ษst/ | ๋ถ๋๋ฝ๋ค |
| choke ๋์ฌ | /tอกสoสk/ | ์ง์ํ๋ค |
| vibe ๋ช ์ฌ | /vaษชb/ | ๋ถ์๊ธฐ |
| passionate ํ์ฉ์ฌ | /หpรฆสษnษชt/ | ๋ถํ๋ |
| magnetic ํ์ฉ์ฌ | /mรฆษกหnษtษชk/ | ์์์ |
| snowball ๋ช ์ฌ | /หsnoสbษl/ | ๋๋ฉ์ด, ๋๋ญ์น |
| snowman ๋ช ์ฌ | /หsnoส.mรฆn/ | ๋์ฌ๋ |
| subscriber ๋ช ์ฌ | /sษbหskษนaษชbษ/ | ๊ตฌ๋ ์, ๊ฐ์ ์ |
| blossom ๋์ฌ | /หblษ.sษm/ | ํผ๋ค |
| hashtag ๋ช ์ฌ | /หhรฆสหtรฆษก/ | ํด์ํ๊ทธ |
์์์ ๋์ค๋ ๊ตฌ๋์ฌ
| ๋จ์ด | ๋ฐ์ | ๋ป |
|---|---|---|
| come out ๋์ฌ | /หkสm หaสt/ | ๋์ค๋ค |
| sit down ๋์ฌ | ์๋ค | |
| bring up ๋์ฌ | ๊บผ๋ด๋ค | |
| get out ๋์ฌ | ๋์ค๋ค, ๋๊ฐ๋ค |
๋ฐ๋ผ ๋งํด ๋ณผ ๋งํ ๋ฌธ์ฅ
์์์ ๋์ค๋ ์งง๊ณ ์๊ฒฐ๋ ๋ฌธ์ฅ์ผ๋ก, ์ผ์ ๋ํ์์ ๊ทธ๋๋ก ์ธ ์ ์์ต๋๋ค:
- You wanna know how I got here?
- You got gay cool people?
- What's on your mind?
- You know, how are you?
- I don't know, but you know what I mean?
์ด ์์์ ๋ฌธ๋ฒ
ํ์๊ฐ ๊ฐ์ฅ ๋ง์ด ์ฐ๋ ๋ฌธํ์ ์์ ์ ์ค์ ํํ๊ณผ ํจ๊ป ์ ๋ฆฌํ์ต๋๋ค.
| ๋ฌธํ | ์์ ์ ํํ |
|---|---|
| ํ์ฌ์๋ฃ have/has + ๊ณผ๊ฑฐ๋ถ์ฌ โ ๊ณผ๊ฑฐ์ ์ผ์ด ์ง๊ธ๋ ๊ด๋ จ์ด ์์ ๋ | have trained ยท I've been ยท have built |
| ์๋ํ be + ๊ณผ๊ฑฐ๋ถ์ฌ โ ๋๊ฐ ํ๋์ง๋ณด๋ค ๋ฌด์จ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์ด๋๋์ง์ ์ด์ | was excluded ยท been said ยท will be rewarded |
์ฃผ์ํ ๋ฐ์
ํ์๋ I'm, you're, gonna ๊ฐ์ ์ถ์ฝํ๊ณผ ์ฝํ๋ ํํ๋ฅผ 105๋ฒ ์ฌ์ฉํฉ๋๋ค. ๋ค๋ฆฌ๋ ๋๋ก ์งง๊ฒ ๋ฐ์ํ์ธ์.
- โthโ ์๋ฆฌ: thrive /ฮธษนajv/, cloth /klษฮธ/
- โshโ์ โzhโ ์๋ฆฌ: socially /หsoสสษli/, passionate /หpรฆสษnษชt/, anxious /หรฆลkสษs/, hashtag /หhรฆสหtรฆษก/
ํ๊ตญ์ด ํ์๊ฐ ์ด๋ ค์ํ๋ ์๋ฆฌ:
- /f/ โ ใ (/p/)์ผ๋ก ๋ฐ๊พธ์ง ๋ง๊ณ ์๋๋ฅผ ์๋ซ์ ์ ์ ๋๊ธฐ: flex /flษks/, cough /kษf/, magnificent /mรฆษกหnษชfษsษnt/
- /v/ โ ใ (/b/)๊ณผ ๊ตฌ๋ณํ๊ธฐ: privilege /หpษนษชv.(ษช.)lษชdอกส/, thrive /ฮธษนajv/, vibe /vaษชb/, vodka /หvษdkษ/
- /z/ โ ใ ์ด ์๋๋ผ ์ฑ๋๋ฅผ ์ธ๋ฆฌ๋ /s/: hesitate /หhษz.ษ.teษชt/, anyways /หษn.iหweษชz/
์ด ์์์ผ๋ก ์ฐ์ตํ๋ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ
- ๋จผ์ ๋งํ์ง ์๊ณ ์์์ ๋๊น์ง ๋ฃ๊ณ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๋ ๋จ์ด๋ฅผ ์ ์ด ๋ก๋๋ค.
- 0.75๋ฐฐ์์ผ๋ก ํ ๋ฌธ์ฅ์ฉ ์๋์์ ์์ํ๊ณ , ์ต์ํด์ง๋ฉด ๋ณดํต ์๋๋ก ๋์๊ฐ๋๋ค.
- ์์ ์ ๋ชฉ์๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋ น์ํด ์๋ณธ๊ณผ ๋น๊ตํ๊ณ , compliment, exhale, privilege ๊ฐ์ ๋จ์ด์ ํนํ ์ฃผ์ํฉ๋๋ค.
์๋์์ด๋? ์์ด ์ค๋ ฅ์ ๋น ๋ฅด๊ฒ ํค์ฐ๋ ๊ณผํ์ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ
์๋์(Shadowing)์ ์๋ ์ ๋ฌธ ํต์ญ์ฌ ํ๋ จ์ ์ํด ๊ฐ๋ฐ๋ ์ธ์ด ํ์ต ๊ธฐ๋ฒ์ผ๋ก, ๋ค์ธ์ด ํ์์ธ Dr. Alexander Arguelles์ ์ํด ๋์คํ๋ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ์ ๋๋ค. ํต์ฌ ์๋ฆฌ๋ ๊ฐ๋จํ์ง๋ง ๋งค์ฐ ๊ฐ๋ ฅํฉ๋๋ค: ์์ด๋ฏผ์ ์์ด๋ฅผ ๋ค์ผ๋ฉด์ 1~2์ด์ ์งง์ ์ง์ฐ์ผ๋ก ์ฆ์ ์๋ฆฌ ๋ด์ด ๋ฐ๋ผ ๋งํ๋ ๊ฒโโ๋ง์น '๊ทธ๋ฆผ์(shadow)'์ฒ๋ผ ํ์๋ฅผ ๋ฐ๋ผ๊ฐ๋ ๊ฒ์ ๋๋ค. ๋ฌธ๋ฒ ๊ณต๋ถ๋ ์๋์ ์ธ ์ฒญ์ทจ์ ๋ฌ๋ฆฌ, ์๋์์ ๋์ ์ ๊ทผ์ก์ด ๋์์ ์ค์๊ฐ์ผ๋ก ์์ด๋ฅผ ์ฒ๋ฆฌํ๊ณ ์ฌํํ๋๋ก ํ๋ จํฉ๋๋ค. ์ฐ๊ตฌ์ ๋ฐ๋ฅด๋ฉด ์ด ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ์ ๋ฐ์ ์ ํ๋, ์ต์, ๋ฆฌ๋ฌ, ์ฐ์, ์ฒญ์ทจ๋ ฅ, ๋งํ๊ธฐ ์ ์ฐฝ์ฑ์ ํฌ๊ฒ ํฅ์์ํต๋๋ค. IELTS ์คํผํน ์ค๋น์ ์์ฐ์ค๋ฌ์ด ์์ด ์ํต์ ์ํ๋ ๋ถ๋ค์๊ฒ ํนํ ํจ๊ณผ์ ์ ๋๋ค.