쉐도잉 연습: Lean Beef Patty on Learning to Be Yourself Without Everyone’s Approval - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

After I had quit the gymnastics and that was my whole identity, I just felt like a failure.

I literally don't know what to do with my life, so it was super uncomfortable.

How did you find your new identity?

I tried new things.

I found things that I liked.

I tried to stop putting so much weight on that sense of identity.

You just seem so not worried about other people's perception.

What are some things that have helped you get there?

I just gotta live my truth.

As long as I'm living my truth, things will feel better.

You live a very simple life.

Do you care about materialistic things?

I think I enjoy a simple life because it feels less complicated.

If I just have too many things, like there's just like so much stuff.

Like it's freaking me out and there's a mess everywhere.

Do you have a relationship with any kind of like higher being than you?

I grew up going to church, but currently like I don't feel that's a big part of my life.

In your opinion, what does success mean to you?

I think success would be like peace.

Whatever you got going on, if you feel at peace with yourself and with your life, I think that's success.

I'm Liana Diab.

This is Being Human.

I'm glad you're here.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Being Human.

I am sitting down with Patti today, which she's also known as Lean Beef Patti and she is one of the most prominent female fitness influencers.

But other than that, she is so much more than just a fitness influencer.

She is someone who has such a quirky and cool personality, and I'm so excited to learn more about her story.

And yeah, thank you so much for being here today with me.

Thank you for having me.

Happy to be here.

So the first thing I want to start off with is for those

that don't know why you go by lean beef patty obviously your name is patricia

but why did you choose lean beef patty that's a great question

because i can't totally remember i know i have a friend who will say

that he came up with the name

but i'm like i think i came up with it i know

that it settled on lean beef because i tried to get a different username

that was like full beef patty and it was already taken

so i had go with lean beef patty as the runner -up

and that's where we're at we just got lunch as well

and we were like discussing this and um was it

because of like a cow was

that inspired it not really a cow necessarily like a the

image of a cow wasn't in my head it was just patty like a burger

and then lean beef like a burger so sometimes

when i bring up those two things

and people will think of a nice little moo cow and then they're like, ah, burger.

There's like some sort of disconnect, but yeah, I was thinking of a burger.

Okay, nice.

So you grew up on a farm or did you grow up somewhere else?

I grew up more, maybe it'd be like a suburb.

Okay.

And then my mom had a farm further away for basically my whole life.

Okay.

So most of the time we spent more just like a regular suburban area.

Okay.

And also time on the farm.

Okay, nice.

And so do you really enjoy being like on the farm with your family?

I do, yeah.

I'll go there.

My mom goes there super regularly.

She's there for like half the week usually.

And I try to go out and see her because she also likes when I go and see her.

And I like being there.

It is really calm.

And you just do, there's always something to do on the farm, like a task to be done.

Yeah.

So I like to go and help her.

Are you only American?

Or is your family from somewhere else?

Because I feel like you don't look just American.

What do I look like?

I don't know.

Just ambiguous?

No, maybe like, I don't know if you have any Russian in you, or no. I've gotten that before.

I don't think so.

Well, I got that a while ago.

I think when I had a different style, and I was like, oh, maybe this is giving Russia?

I don't know.

I mean, I'm American.

My dad is from Germany, but he was adopted as a baby.

So I feel like that, you know, there's not really a connection there.

Uh -huh.

And what about your mom?

Is she originally from, were you born and raised in California?

Yes.

Okay.

So I was born and raised in California.

My mom was born and raised in California.

I think at least her mom was born and raised in California.

So I'm still here and it's in my roots.

And originally she was just like born and raised in America?

Yes.

My grandma on my mom's side did like one of those lineage things.

And I think they came over here like a while ago, like not anytime recently.

And before that it was England and I think Ireland.

Okay, cool.

Because I know you said you grew up playing gymnastics, right?

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And your mom was a gymnast as well.

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And I'm always thinking like it's usually Russians or something

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or kind of like Ukrainian or something

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that is like a strong like yeah into gymnastics

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and everything russia has a really good gymnastics team

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and like uh reputation yeah so i guess that's kind of like where i was like thinking but um so

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Being a gymnast, and how long did you do that for?

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Like 12 years.

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Gymnastics, it requires a lot of dedication.

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It's like every single day you have practice, right?

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Yeah, I had practice five days a week for as long as I can remember doing that.

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So do you feel like that taught you discipline from like a young age?

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I would say so, yeah.

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It definitely helped.

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And I don't know if it's just the way that I am or that probably contributed a lot, but I like structure

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so those two things kind of formed me what was a

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part of your life where it like you stopped doing gymnastics

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and did you go straight into the gym

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or was there like a period of where you like kind

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of stopped doing everything I think there was a super small time frame where I stopped doing everything

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but it was just because I don't know I didn't know what to do so my life felt really

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fragmented like it there was no structure I was like I

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don't I literally don't know what to do with my life

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so it's super uncomfortable that probably didn't even last a year

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and then I asked my dad to take me to the gym

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and he took me to the gym

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that he had been going to for like 20 years

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and yeah and I guess for those that don't know about your dad

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because you said like we were talking and you said

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that he's from like he's he's rode a bike like a hundred miles yeah

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and that's not even like crazy for him which is insane

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because I told you guys at lunch like it's not people

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will think of those like distance bikers with the really skinny bikes

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that weigh like less than a pound and they got their spandex on

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and they got the whole thing going on which is awesome

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but that's not my dad he's just like a regular bike

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just with his headphones on he does wear a helmet i got him like one of those little reflective things

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because i was like you need to be safe out there

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but he'll just go on a weekend and be like oh the weather's I think I'm gonna bike ride 100 miles.

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And so I'm like, where are you going?

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My goodness.

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So does your family inspire you with like, I don't know, being disciplined or even like your career?

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I would say so, yeah.

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Not that like one parent is more one way or the other, but I feel like my mom is very entrepreneurial.

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So that has inspired me to be like, you know, you don't have to do something traditional for things to work out.

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Like you can really just make life what you want to make it.

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And then my dad is very disciplined with everything that he does pretty much.

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But he's also really chill.

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Like it's not overly that, but yeah.

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So did you grow up in a dynamic where your mom was like the provider?

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No, I think both my parents do well, but because, at least in my mind, you know, I haven't like asked them to clarify for me, like who was actually the breadwinner.

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But at least in my mind growing up, It was like my dad had the traditional, stable, constant job.

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So I was like, okay, this is like the stability.

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And then my mom maybe would have like seasons

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because her job can be a little more seasonal of like she's making a lot more.

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Like she's running a camp or something.

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And then there's times like when it's raining, which it doesn't rain very much in California.

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But when it's raining, she can't do her job.

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Your mom being ambitious and like, you know, an entrepreneur, would you say that, I guess you took that trait and kind of just started posting on social media?

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I don't think so, just because I never really went into it with any sort of intention like that.

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Like, I didn't use social media very much before I started posting on it.

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Okay.

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So I didn't understand a lot of things, you know?

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I think the most I really did was watch music videos on YouTube.

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Okay.

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And I would make like pictures on like PixArt and post that to my private Instagram.

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I started just posting because I was going to the gym.

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I had people telling me like, oh, you're fit.

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You should like share your fitness stuff.

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And for a long time, I was like, I don't want to do that because this is like mine.

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And this is special to me.

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And I don't want to pollute it.

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But then I decided to do that.

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And my content, I just wanted to try to be helpful.

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What timeline before you started social media did you start going to the gym?

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Was it like two to three years of transforming your body first?

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It was actually quite a few years.

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But I'm not sure my body really transformed all that much because I had done gymnastics.

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Right.

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So as a child, I was pretty lean and pretty muscular.

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kind of a scrawny kid for a while

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but like with muscle yeah um and then

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when i started going to the gym i already had this image of myself as like i'm strong you know

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so that's kind of how it felt

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and there was some years where i struggled with eating

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and food and so my body changed yeah

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but i don't know i don't feel like i ever experienced newbie gains or things like that

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so as some of you all know i am on this journey to really cutting back on anything synthetic whether

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that be in my clothes or in my cleaning supplies.

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especially because I am someone who cares about hormones

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which a lot of people don't realize that not only is it things

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so go to branchbasics .com get the starter kit

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and use my code liana what was your relationships back then

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with the gym i feel like it might have changed now slightly

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because it's your work i mean it has for me at least like in terms of like fitness

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if you're filming and everything it becomes like it's still a a stable

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and an essential part of your life

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but do you feel like back then it was something different

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for you yeah it was something different it was well i

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also didn't have as much information about working out back then

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and there's a ton of good information now easily available online

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but i wasn't really online

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so I just kind of would go move my body kind

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of like a bit of a tweaker like I was one of those people just going everywhere like being crazy

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and doing everything super intensely I think just to relieve

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some sort of emotion or tension yeah

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and now as grateful as I am sometimes there's just not the same relief why do you think

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that maybe because it's like the main thing that i do

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so when i had like a nine to five

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and i was going to that

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and i would go to the gym afterwards i was like

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oh this is like my time to let everything out

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but now i'm like it's a it's a blessing that i don't have to

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let something out that hard yeah

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but it uh it's just different it feels like a force now yeah for me at least too i

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but it's like still pushing myself to go

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but yeah it felt it feels harder now to go versus then

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when i used to

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and i i kind of like try to incorporate new kind of styles of training are you doing that

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or are you kind of like just one way you enjoy

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bodybuilding the most i changed it up a little bit like i was doing power lifting for a

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while i don't know if i just was doing something wrong

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or i'm sure i was moving something weird or but i started to get this really bad neck pain.

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Like it was pretty intense and just like crippling.

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And you know, when you have like a chronic pain and then you're just like, just everything kind of is a bummer.

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So I stopped doing heavy squat bench deadlift for a while doing bodybuilding -esque things.

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I mean, I've never competed, so I don't know.

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It's not that structured and the neck pain kind of went away.

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So I haven't deviated much from those two styles.

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Okay.

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And you enjoy that the most?

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Yes, I think so.

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You don't think you'd ever start biking or anything?

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I like to bike, just casually.

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Okay, really?

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Yeah.

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Just around in California, you're biking?

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Yeah.

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Oh, nice.

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There's a lot of nice places to bike around here.

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So there's a lot of riverbeds.

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You can just bike next to the riverbed.

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Oh, that's nice.

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Yeah.

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So your relationship with food, was it toxic if you're open to sharing that?

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Kind of both.

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And amongst other things.

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Like, those issues kind of developed either right before I quit gymnastics, definitely after I quit.

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Like, right before I quit, I kind of started to hit puberty and I was scrawny before.

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And then I just started to gain a little more, you know, figure.

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And I can distinctly remember the very first time I was standing, like, with my legs together and my thighs touched.

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I remember the day and, like, the time and what I was doing.

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And I was, like, I just, like, became aware.

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So that was really weird and that made me uncomfortable.

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And I mean, I'm sure you know, there's like that arrow when it's like, oh, the thigh gap.

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Yeah, no, I wanted the, yeah.

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Same, I remember like taking a picture of my thigh gap.

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Yeah, so there was that.

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And then when I quit, it was a combination of being a lot less active.

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So I was like, oh, well, if food is fuel and I'm not doing anything to need fuel, why do I need fuel?

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And also I was like a kid, so I didn't know all these other things.

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Yeah. And...

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I don't think a lot of people are taught like how to listen to their body

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and like understand hunger cues and things like that.

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So I didn't understand that and everything was just scary and overwhelming.

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So I thought I should just, I don't know, not do any of it.

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What were the emotions that you were going through at the time?

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Was it just like not wanting to pick up certain foods?

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Did you feel like repulsed by food?

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I don't think I felt repulsed.

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every once in a while I'd like look at meat

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or something and just start thinking about it and be like

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that is horrific so it was just like meat specific

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but other than

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that I wasn't repulsed it was fear kind of there's going to be a lot of people

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that tune in in like are maybe going through an eating

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disorder what was the journey like of getting out of the eating disorder it was pretty long for me

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and I think it's long for a lot of people

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and I was lucky enough to be able to get professional help not everybody is able to do

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that and even sometimes people will struggle for a lifetime

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and that's unfortunate so I kind of took a physical decline rather quickly

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that was noticeable to those around me so

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and my mom already had like some knowledge of eating disorders

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and things like that so she was like okay we need to take it

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or see someone so I went to see I think just like a therapist

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and we were talking and then the therapist was like I think you need

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more intense treatment and I was like no I don't you know I was like actually I think I was upset

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I was like crying to them I was like no I'll be better I'll be better don't send me away

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so so I tried to be better

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but then I didn't try to be better because I didn't want to get better

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so I was trying to like trick them

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and I don't know they're just all the tricks in the

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book I was pulling eventually after a few years it becomes very taxing

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and it just isn't pleasant to live through so after a

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while i decided like okay now i want help

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and this was after going in and out of like residential treatments more than once

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which i'm very lucky to have been able to do

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but eventually i was like okay i want help because this sucks

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so i went got the help still struggled for a long time

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but then I had this one relationship and it was so traumatic that it like cured my eating disorder which is insane.

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I think because I was just so stressed about my partner at the time

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and like what was going on I just forgot about worrying about food.

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So it was kind of like that for me

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which is not nice to say for other people

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because I don't think that's realistic for everybody's journey but that's what happened with me.

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Do you have any tips or advice

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if you were to to put yourself back in like your shoes of where you were at in

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that time of your life for people

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that might be going through a similar thing

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that you wish you would have like known then I mean it's difficult to say

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because I think there was a lot of things I knew

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but I just didn't want to accept

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because I mean I was like it started out as like a preteen

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so I didn't really want to listen to anyone saying anything and I didn't care what they were saying.

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Yeah.

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But I think a lot of people at some point feel like an inkling of like, I don't like doing this.

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Like, I don't want to do this.

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And to understand like, they don't, they don't have to do that.

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And there are ways to help.

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Some of the ways are more complicated if they're not in the best, you know, don't have insurance or something.

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It can get a little more complicated.

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If they can do that it's scary but I would do

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that because it feels a lot better to get help yeah you don't think it's something

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that someone can do on their own I think they can I I don't know

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if I could have done that I think

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that people definitely can just do things themselves I don't know

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if I would have had the strength yeah so really being open

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and talking to someone about it instead of just like hiding it yeah at least in my experience

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and for a lot of other people i'd talked to a big part of

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that was hiding and feeling shame or just fear over either having to change

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or people judging them or feeling exposed something like

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that would you have wished you would have said something

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and like not had that shame i mean when i was younger no

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because i just i wanted to do that yeah

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and the underlying issue was something else like i think after i had quit the gymnastics and

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that was my whole identity um i just felt like a

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failure like i felt like i don't have an identity

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and part of it was a self -punishment

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so i went through a similar journey of like losing my identity

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when i kind of made a transformation in my life so i guess like how did you find your new identity

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or try to figure out who am I supposed to be after gymnastics when that's kind of like everything that you knew?

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I tried different things like I tried other sports as time

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went by it was I mean time can be a great healer

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so it was kind of easier to let that go a bit

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and accept that but I tried new things I found things

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that I liked I tried to stop putting so much weight

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on that like sense of identity especially now I try to do things

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that it's like it's it's okay to change it's okay to

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be wrong you know it's okay to grow yeah did you

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go to college what did you major in psychology oh I don't think that influenced me that much

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so do you want did you ever want to be a psychologist not really originally I wanted to study neuroscience

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but then I realized I was

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so bad at math I didn't believe it was realistic for me

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so then I did psychology because I was like oh well it's kind of you know

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and I didn't have any other interests.

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What else can you be with like a psychology major?

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Is it understanding awareness around the things that we do?

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Like what did you learn from that experience?

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Well I don't think my degree would uh be enough to really say anything about anything but

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if you're a smooth enough talker you can definitely manipulate some

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sort of an interview to be like this is what this taught me

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and this is what i'm bringing to the table

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because i did get a job once because i had

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that degree didn't bring anything to the table but the guy just assessed that like oh you're reliable

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and because you have a degree yeah

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so you're hired i was like okay there's just now this

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thing where people are like kind of leaning towards becoming a creator

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and not using their degree or do you feel like you needed your degree to do what you do now?

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I did not need my degree to do what I do now, but I'm still happy that I went to school.

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Yeah, because it taught you discipline or I mean you've already learned discipline, so did it teach you something else?

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It taught me a lot about myself as a person and at the time and also I like structure, so I liked thinking like,

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okay, what am I doing right now in my life?

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Oh, I'm going to school, so this is what you do

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when you go to school yeah yeah did you go to school i dropped out of college okay yeah

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but i was going for kinesiology okay yeah

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because i always loved movement too i played soccer growing up

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and that was kind of my identity as well and so

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when i stopped playing college soccer i kind of went through

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like a similar chapter where i was like not sure what to do with my life

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and that's kind of when i was just like picking up jobs

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and trying to find my purpose i ended up being like a personal trainer

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and then yeah

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but i think it took a lot of failing to get

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there though to figure out like this is not for me this is for me

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but i sometimes wish i would have went to school

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because i feel like it teaches you i never was good at school in general like studying

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and applying myself to things i i feel like school does help

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that so i i'm not like a i don't hate college

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but i also don't think you need college nowadays for everything i guess it just depends on what major right

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or what job you want to do okay

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so i guess in terms of like practices

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that you do for like your mindset or mental health especially

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because like you are an online persona

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and i feel like it just requires a lot of you

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and so i i guess how are you navigating like mental health

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and being in tune with yourself i mean there's like different aspects that are weighing from the social media thing.

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Some of it I've just just internally my mindset is like you just gotta let it go you know

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because like it's happening or it's not happening or

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if there's nothing you can do about it just don't make your life worse thinking about it.

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I was trying to meditate for a

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while I was doing like morning breathing practices going for walks I don't usually talk to like friends

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or anyone about these things because i don't think

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that they would understand

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and sometimes it feels i don't know like i try not to either get online

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and be like i'm feeling like this

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because i'm sure you know like people are going to be

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like your life is amazing why are you feeling like this

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and i'm like no i know it's amazing it's amazing

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but like i still feel like this yeah most of my

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practices i do are just like mindfulness adjacent stuff is it like a regular thing

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that you do is like meditate or go for walks.

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Going for walks, yeah.

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I do pretty normally.

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I started running a little bit, which feels similar to the walking, but just like a little more exertion.

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So maybe like releasing something a little bit more.

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Yeah.

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Feel more accomplished after.

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Keeping a routine is really big for me to keep like mental peace.

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Are you a person to sit with emotions that you're feeling

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or do you kind of like escape them i guess it depends what emotion

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because i do kind of sit with them okay i feel

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them nice what i'm curious what do you do is it the journaling

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and the prayer for your daily yeah like routine yeah

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so i i every day i'd like pray five times a day like in my faith

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and then that's kind of like i i use it as

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kind of like a way to just step step away from

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the world it's kind of like meditation in many ways it's

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just like being in tune with your thoughts obviously i'm like

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kind of speaking to a creator something greater than me thinking for my life

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and the things that i have it's kind of like a reminder

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that the problems that i'm going through in life are not

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that deep and i need to just like continue to keep going

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so i would say like that really helps me but also journaling

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and like communicating like brain dumping instead of holding all the

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thoughts in my mind kind of helps me just like feel more in tune with myself

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and stop overthinking because I used to struggle with like really bad anxiety

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and just like speaking to myself and trying to make it positive

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so yeah I guess are you a big journaler I journal sometimes I wouldn't say a big journaler maybe

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if I'm lucky like two entries a year okay pretty good for me I mean, the journal I have right now,

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I think I've had since elementary school.

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And it's not full.

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I don't even know if it's halfway.

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480

and use my code liana for 20 % off Do you

481

have a relationship with any kind of like higher being than you?

482

I don't know.

483

I grew up going to church, I guess non -denominational.

484

So I grew up with that a lot, but currently, I don't know.

485

Maybe I just don't think about it.

486

Like I don't feel that's a big part of my life at the moment.

487

Do you believe in something greater in terms of like a God or like a universe?

488

Yeah, I think I do, or at least I would like to.

489

Yeah.

490

You know, I think of how there's like matter

491

and it's neither created nor destroyed and it just maybe it changes what it is

492

but it's still there

493

so I'm like I think there's something more yeah yeah do you think what do you think

494

that more is I don't know I don't know yeah

495

because I mean a lot of people tend to take on like practices of like family um

496

or like being born into

497

that do you feel like there was a time of your life where you kind of just like no I'm

498

like I don't know not following a religion to the T

499

yeah I mean I'll still go to church every now

500

and then and I'll like listen to a sermon

501

and be like like I think the last one I went to I was like literally crying sitting there

502

because like it's just like touched my soul um

503

but it's like not that frequent and there's definitely things

504

that I'm like I don't know about this one

505

but yeah I think for me there was like a turning point

506

when I was in middle school and just like something happened in middle school where I was like, I don't know.

507

I don't know about this anymore.

508

And then other things that went along with that that other people deal with just like sort of religious guilt things.

509

And I'm already a person that I feel guilty about everything all the time, always, so I'm like, I don't know if I can keep compounding that and survive.

510

So I don't know, a lot of these things I just don't think about that hard.

511

But do you feel like, I guess religion always feels like, I don't know

512

if you're not a perfect human it kind of makes you feel guilty about things rather than like

513

because I used to interpret it in that way

514

that like I grew up thinking that religion it kind of made God seem as this like scary thing

515

in that we're not perfect and we never are going to be perfect kind of thing

516

and it comes with a lot of guilt and i would always be

517

so hard on myself if i ever made a mistake

518

and it was like a sin whereas now i'm like i look at things

519

and i'm like okay i try to be a better person

520

but i'm not gonna like have

521

so much guilt to the point where like i self -sabotage

522

and then like feel extremely low

523

so i guess did you kind of like feel as

524

if religion it just like highlighted guilt all the time a

525

lot of it did yeah I didn't think it was like God is this punisher

526

and making me feel guilty it was more like the overall

527

structure just like as a system I guess made me feel bad

528

so I never was like oh God hates me it was

529

kind of like this person over here telling me this I was kind of shifting whatever blame on to

530

that I was like this person is making me feel this way

531

and I don't want to be around this yeah no it's it's like scary

532

or it's not scary but it's like sad

533

that like a lot of people can also ruin religion i

534

guess it's tough right it's don't get me wrong i think religion is extremely important

535

and like beneficial yeah to people okay so i know

536

that you started your own clothing brand which what is the exact name

537

if you want to share a little bit about it i

538

mean it's not like a full clothing brand it's just these t -shirts with cows on it

539

and it's called leanbeefteas .com nice honestly i just feel like it represents your personality

540

and I feel like a lot of people don't know

541

that you paint or draw I don't know if it's something

542

that you frequently share but is that something

543

that you turn to in terms of like trying to de -stress

544

because you're a great artist thank you like

545

that cow is just kind of silly no like

546

but it's such a great cow though oh thank you I don't usually turn to art when I'm alone

547

if someone else is there with me

548

and they're like oh this would be nice then I'll do it

549

and it can be like cathartic and relaxing and feel really good

550

and I'm happy about it

551

but I don't know I just don't ever do it by myself I think I'm

552

so stimulated and I'm like

553

if I'm not doing something where I feel productive I'm like oh I'm uncomfortable yeah so what inspired you to paint

554

I guess a cow and just start painting.

555

I don't remember why I decided to paint the cow.

556

It was like painting with my friends at my friend's house

557

and sometimes we'll think of a theme so everyone paints

558

that theme but I think this is one of the times we didn't

559

and so my other two friends were painting something else

560

and for whatever reason I just painted a cow on a surfboard surfing and And after that, when we got together again,

561

I don't know, I just decided I'm just going to keep painting just cows.

562

And I paint other things, but I don't share them.

563

Creating that into clothing, I guess, like when you're wearing the item, I guess, what does it feel for you?

564

Does it like, do you tap into something different?

565

Because for me, when I see that, it also kind of gives me this feeling of like tapping into your inner child a little bit.

566

And I feel that when I'm even just talking to you, is you have this childlike,

567

not personality, but I feel like it's so important to keep that a part of us, which a lot of us lose, because it makes life so much lighter and easier.

568

And so what is the feelings that you get from wearing the clothing

569

that you've created and what you want other people to feel?

570

I mean, because I created it, I can be a lot more critical, I think, of it than probably other people would be.

571

But apart from that, it's just kind of silly.

572

It's like, oh, what's going on there?

573

You know, it's just like a silly little something going on.

574

So that's what I like to feel.

575

Where do you get the urge to be so free in life?

576

Like, you seem very free -spirited.

577

Oh, thank you.

578

Is that from your parents, or is that something that you just, like, try to...

579

Are you aware of

580

that? like being what is the free spirited this thing it

581

gives me like just tapping into your inner child like it

582

just feels it feels very comforting like your energy oh thank

583

you I'm not sure I don't know I mean I don't really view myself as being

584

that free spirited

585

but of course I'm only experiencing reality from my own you

586

know yeah I mean perspective you have like two braids that you're growing out.

587

Oh, that's true.

588

But for me, it was just kind of like, I want to see how long my hair will get, but I don't like when the hair is touching my skin.

589

So what if I just have a little bit?

590

And I didn't freaking grow.

591

So it's so like carefree though.

592

I mean, do you have any tips or advice for people

593

that care so much about things like you just seem so like careless

594

and not worried about other people's perception or judgment or anything?

595

You just seem like yourself so I guess like what are some things

596

that have helped you get there well thank you I think something

597

that comes to mind I think you mentioned earlier when you were talking about

598

prayer which not the same thing this is like my mindset but that like your problems aren't

599

that deep maybe so a lot of my problems might come from some sort of insecurity

600

or like a fear

601

and those things keep me like this it helps having also compassionate people around you

602

but when I just start realizing it's like okay I just gotta live my truth you know

603

and And as long as I'm living my truth and hopefully no one gets hurt in the process, then probably things will feel better.

604

Yeah.

605

And were you always like that?

606

No. No. Because I don't love being perceived, even apart from like the internet stuff,

607

with my friends and my family.

608

I also don't share very much about like what I'm thinking.

609

I don't know if in my family we were big talkers about things.

610

Like it was always super loving.

611

Like I had a great family life, but I don't remember like talking that much about painful things.

612

So I don't like talking about that with people.

613

And I don't want to hurt people.

614

And I don't want to be hurt by people.

615

So it kind of, I'm like more of a wall.

616

And just recently I'm trying to just let it out.

617

What are the feelings of like holding it in? is it

618

feel like you're not afraid to like talk about things

619

but I guess like is it

620

because you don't want to be perceived I think it's

621

because I don't want to be perceived like I don't want to speak my truth to someone

622

and then they come back and be like wow you're horrible

623

or usually it's like someone I really care about like I

624

might not want to say like my full honest whatever answer

625

because I'm afraid it's going to be the wrong answer for them.

626

And then maybe I'll lose this connection with this person and that would hurt me and whatever.

627

But then I came to realize it's like,

628

how true was that connection anyway if I wasn't being totally open with this person?

629

Because maybe their perception of me is a totally different person than what I actually am.

630

And it's because I'm withholding that from them.

631

This is not only like on social media is this in

632

like your day -to -day really like your relationships not speaking

633

really yeah i don't really tell like i'm pretty private online even though yeah i'm open i myself yeah

634

but i just don't share that much and i don't share

635

that much in real life either so was there a thing

636

that kind of made you feel like you can't communicate

637

or share that information does it not feel like you're holding so much in at times?

638

Or is it kind of like you just don't need to say something?

639

Sometimes it feels like holding in, but most of the time, maybe it's just because I'm kind of used to it.

640

It's like I don't feel the need to most of the time.

641

So I guess in relationships, are you a good communicator about what's bothering you?

642

I've been told no. But I'm working on it.

643

Yeah, which I could see that because I mean, there's been a lot of...

644

not a lot.

645

There's been some times where, I don't know, I'll just like not share something,

646

not trying to like hide anything necessarily, but I'm just like, I don't know.

647

You know, I'm like, I don't know if I should say this thing

648

and then this person flips out on me or so I'll just keep it to myself.

649

And then eventually that usually also ends up bad.

650

So I realized you should probably just say what you're feeling and thinking at the time.

651

And so I guess, are you trying to get better at doing that?

652

I am trying.

653

It's not easy, but I'm trying.

654

So as some of y 'all know, I have shared my story about trying to figure out what is wrong with my hormonal health.

655

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662

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682

so i want to talk about your content

683

because yes you're a fitness creator but you create content in such a unique way

684

and you also showcase your personality with like anime

685

or like you know different kinds of characters posing is something that's big in the fitness space

686

but i just feel like you're the posing is kind of

687

also unique in a different way yeah um the posing actually like originally the posing people i think this is

688

when jojo's was

689

more popular too or like a new season to come out

690

or something what is jojo's oh jojo's bizarre adventure it's an anime okay

691

but you know i tried anime a little bit what is

692

the main one it's like seven rings seven deadly sins seven

693

deadly sins oh that's one i would tell you i was like i don't know

694

if you should watch that one okay i don't know i mean i like it

695

but sometimes there's some scenes where i'm just like this is weird like something weird is happening

696

or like there's too much fan service

697

and i'm just like what am i watching fan service fan service it's like

698

when they make a character over sexualized yeah i mean to be honest i didn't i didn't know

699

that it like there was that kind of different like differences in anime um

700

so you don't like i i guess for example like what is i guess the anime

701

that you watch first i i didn't know

702

that the seven deadly sins i mean i watched seven deadly sins i do like it i do like it

703

but it's one of those also i feel like sometimes in these different online communities like people can be like so

704

polarized one day or the other

705

and it's just like one day everyone's like okay we don't like this anymore

706

and so then if you're like oh i like this like you're horrible you know

707

so it's like i don't know i i like seven deadly sins

708

but there are some parts where like if i think about it i'm just like

709

what's going on i feel like you have acquired so much success thank you in social media

710

but you live a very simple life yes like you took a video

711

that you still have the same car I love that Prius yeah

712

and I wanted to understand like do you care about you know materialistic things

713

or do you just enjoy like a simple life I think I enjoy a simple life

714

because it feels less complicated

715

and growing up I lived a simple life like my parents

716

weren't poor I think we were like middle class maybe upper middle class

717

but I think they came from families that maybe weren't as well off

718

so that kind of trickled down to our family just living conservatively I guess

719

and that never bothered me and I like it because it's simple

720

and sometimes I find even where I live now like

721

if I just have too many things like there's just like

722

so much stuff like it's freaking me out and there's a mess everywhere

723

and it's like there's not really a mess but

724

if I have a lot of things it will become a mess

725

so I don't want

726

that I don't care about the image I don't know maybe it's cool to drive like a cool car

727

but I think people get over it pretty quick like

728

that feeling yeah that feeling so I don't even really care to have it in the first place in your opinion

729

what does success mean to you I think success would this

730

is just kind of my view would be like peace

731

so just like feeling peace in your life whether you know you're well off you're not

732

so well off whatever you got going on

733

if you feel at peace with yourself

734

and with your life i think that's success what are some things

735

that help you feel at peace for me personally spending a

736

lot of alone time i like being alone going for walks i usually i'm not a person

737

that feels lonely most of the time i just don't feel like

738

that really yeah i just don't really feel lonely

739

which i like being around the people that i like you know it's always nice but when i'm alone

740

I don't think I've ever felt lonely.

741

So having alone time brings me peace.

742

Seeing my parents brings me peace and now that I'm an adult kind of like

743

really appreciating them and what they've done and the memories that we've had things like that bring me peace.

744

Taking care of myself, like fueling my body.

745

maybe having a treat but like eating in a way that i know that i'll i'll feel good

746

sleeping i love to sleep what are things

747

that bring you peace prayer for sure brings me a sense of peace being aware of the things

748

that are also like disrupting my peace so i feel like

749

if i'm in conversations with people

750

or it's like something apparent in my life is like going

751

through reoccurring situations where it's like i feel my peace consistently disrupted whether

752

that be like energy like people taking away your energy and whatnot so i think like being firm

753

in setting boundaries with people has bringing me peace like it brings me peace to just like not have

754

so much i don't know like noise around me if

755

that makes sense yeah that does also i feel like i don't know

756

if you struggle with this but being on social media does not bring me peace at at all.

757

So I really have to set like rules with myself in terms of like, how many times I pick up my phone.

758

I started using this like app blocker that blocks my app sometimes

759

because social media can drain your peace and just being online or constantly consuming something.

760

And you kind of feel like in the moment it might bring you peace

761

because it's like the easier thing to do is just like for free time, for example.

762

But it ends up like leaving you drained

763

so yeah i feel like yeah my habits for sure do

764

you do other things other than i mean like are you

765

working instead of spending that social media phone time or are you doing other things or

766

so i like to read okay yeah i like reading i

767

like to just sit in silence sometimes with my thoughts oh yeah

768

and just like let them in yeah um

769

but sometimes my thoughts will go like all over the place

770

so journaling starting like sewing like a little bit here

771

and there trying to get better at it i just i don't know i feel like there's

772

so many hobbies that we want to do

773

but we are not doing them

774

because we end up like yeah yeah doing the easier thing

775

like scrolling i guess like how do you navigate boundaries with

776

people in your life i think that's something i am kind

777

of still learning like my learning to be more open is

778

not a lot of people do a lot of things

779

that bother me that much like the people

780

that are in my life constantly like you know random people will do things

781

and I'm like oh my gosh that was whatever

782

but I don't think that I ask

783

that much of the people in my life

784

so sometimes they'll be like they'll set a boundary with me

785

and they'll be like oh well now I feel bad

786

because like you never bring anything up

787

and I'll be like I don't think there's anything to bring up

788

so maybe that's an issue from me you know okay how

789

do you set boundaries I think it's about the way

790

that you approach the conversation so I used to be such a hothead

791

and I would just like be mad all the time like

792

or the way that I would communicate was kind of with like anger

793

but I realized if I'm communicating in an angry way

794

that person might not actually hear it

795

and it's not actually going to do anything

796

so it's like really just taking a step back

797

and communicating with the person of like things

798

that I might be struggling with um in the way

799

that we're working or maybe it's like a relationship in my life

800

but even then sometimes when you communicate they don't also hear you even

801

if it's in like a calm way and it's kind of just like putting your foot down and

802

I am realizing like if a person is not going to respect it

803

and if they're not meant to be in my life

804

or it's not meant to work out then like it's better than feeling consistently drained

805

if that makes sense so it's like communicating in a calm way for sure

806

and also trying to look at the problem as

807

if you guys are trying to solve it together rather than it's like you versus each other

808

if that makes sense so i feel like that's kind of how

809

but communicating in a calm way because i used to struggle with communicating too

810

but it was in like always just like anger yeah makes sense no

811

that makes sense

812

so do you have a big like friend group no it's pretty small yeah yeah how How many friends do you have?

813

A handful, maybe five.

814

Oh, that's a lot of friends.

815

Okay, yeah.

816

I was gonna say three, but then I was like, oh, that person's my friend.

817

Yeah, like a friend, as in someone you trust with everything.

818

Oh.

819

Like everything.

820

I don't wanna hurt their feelings.

821

I don't know.

822

Are they gonna listen to this?

823

Maybe one, maybe.

824

One?

825

Yeah.

826

Cause do you have like a strong support system?

827

Yeah.

828

Yeah.

829

I don't know, I feel like it's hard with social media like navigating real relationships

830

and stuff so is it a person

831

that was in your life from the beginning no all the other ones are

832

but maybe it's because i've known them way longer

833

and like we've gone through things where i'm like why did you betray my trust yeah um

834

Not that I don't still love them, you know, but I'm like, okay, well, I need to watch what I say with you.

835

I don't know if you went through a situation where when you also became successful on social media,

836

did you start feeling like people around you started kind of not switching up, but acting weird?

837

Sometimes, yeah.

838

Like people that knew me, I don't know, but would like never say anything to me.

839

And now they're saying something to me or I'm also not like, I think I'm friendly and I like people, but maybe I'm not the most welcoming.

840

So I feel like, I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like not that many people have approached me, I think trying to like get something.

841

It's only been like a small amount of people.

842

You don't seem like a people pleaser.

843

Oh, well thank you.

844

That's a great thing.

845

Yeah, I think so.

846

Thank you.

847

Is that because of, is that something that just comes naturally to you?

848

Maybe.

849

I feel like I try to people please in the aspect of like, I'm afraid to say something because oh i guess that's true

850

because you know yeah that but

851

because like i think the welcoming aspect of it like i don't know people just don't i can't think of

852

that many times people have come at me

853

that i've known from before like trying to do something in

854

my case i sometimes had to feel like i had to be overly nice

855

or overly welcoming oh yeah just to kind of like please someone else

856

if that makes sense

857

and there's still times i struggle with it i think sometimes i don't do

858

that because I'll just be kind of emotional and irritated

859

and then in the moment I can't get over my irritation so I don't really care to please anyone else.

860

Maybe it's that.

861

Would you consider yourself shy?

862

Kinda, yeah.

863

Yeah.

864

Yeah, I think so.

865

Is any of your parents shy?

866

They're not shy.

867

My dad's really quiet but he's not shy.

868

Okay, so I want to talk about like baggy clothes.

869

Okay.

870

Because you're always wearing like baggy fits sometimes. Is

871

that just like a comfort thing? yeah I like the option

872

of the layering like I like the little matching sets whatever

873

but sometimes I don't want to be wearing them all the time

874

so I like the option of a lot of times

875

if I go to the gym I'll show up in something

876

like this I might keep it on the whole time

877

and then you know like sometimes for social media like you said how you would know

878

that something would be better so I'm like okay

879

if I'm just going like this and this then probably won't do as well

880

but usually I'll keep this on like the whole time.

881

Yeah.

882

Especially at a commercial gym.

883

Is there a reason why?

884

Comfort, I think.

885

I don't know.

886

Um, I think I used to not think about it as much and maybe it's the social media thing, but I'm just like, I don't want to be looked at.

887

And I think someone's going to listen to that and be like, that's a bunch of baloney.

888

But it's like, I feel like I'm already looked at a lot.

889

I don't need to be looked at all the time.

890

Yeah.

891

No, I understand that perspective because even when I used to wear shorts or sports bras, I would always feel like, i don't know when i was in the gym i would do it like

892

because i felt well i kind of struggled with like wanting validation

893

and stuff which is not every single woman who wears shorts

894

and sports bras there's times where i also just love like looking at my body

895

but i think that like i always wore baggy fits at home

896

but then i felt like on social media also feels more comfortable in a way to like post

897

that stuff versus like being in person

898

and people actually staring at you i know because and i think

899

that there is this like perception of

900

if you are wearing like shorts in a sports bra

901

that you kind of give men the right to look at you

902

when you don't actually want those eyes on you i just feel like

903

when i see the fact that you were like baggy clothes

904

when you have like an amazing body and you could be showcasing it is

905

that because like you don't have a need for validation

906

or is it kind of just like a comfort thing it might be a bit of both i I mean, sometimes I still wear the smaller fits and it's not for the validation,

907

but it's like maybe for the self -validation.

908

I don't know, to like see myself as I'm working out.

909

Most of the time it's the baggy fits for comfort and physical comfort and like mental comfort of like,

910

okay, I'm a little bit incognito, I guess.

911

Like less people are probably gonna look at me.

912

Is there any other points that you want me to like cover about your story?

913

What about mine?

914

I wanted to know what your definition of success was though.

915

I would say sticking to my word, like sticking to the thing that I said I was going to do.

916

I used to think success was materialistic things or having a certain amount of money.

917

And I bought so many dumb things like cars or bags, designer things that left me feeling so empty inside

918

and i thought that's kind of what success was

919

and i felt like i needed to prove that as well by showing

920

that i had those things or it made me feel like worthy

921

and but i realized more and more of just like it just left me feeling emptier

922

and yes money is a blessing right you can pay your bills you can help your family whatever

923

but i think the true like meaning of success is also

924

like being able to create impact in other people's lives like helping other people

925

and And just.. being like content with who you are as a person.

926

I feel like that's something that I still work towards, but it's not money, it's not wealth.

927

And it's just like truly loving who you are.

928

I feel like that's like success in many ways.

929

But okay, so I am so grateful that you came onto this podcast.

930

And I have one more question that I ask every single one of my guests.

931

What does it mean to be human?

932

The word that comes to mind is just like raw.

933

Like, I don't know.

934

To be human is to be raw.

935

Yeah, that's an amazing answer.

936

Just being yourself.

937

Yeah, just being yourself, whatever that is.

938

That's an amazing answer.

939

Thank you so much.

940

Thank you so much for coming on.

941

And where can people find you?

942

Lean Beef Patty on most places.

943

Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. And your clothing brand?

944

Leanbeeftease .com.

945

Okay, amazing.

946

Thank you so much.

947

Thank you.

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이 영상, 영어 말하기 연습에 왜 좋을까?

Lean Beef Patty와의 대화는 일상적인 대화 흐름을 담고 있어 영어 쉐도잉에 최적입니다. 자연스러운 억양, 구어체 표현, 그리고 생각을 나누는 방식이 실생활과 똑같아서, 단순히 문법을 배우는 것보다 실제로 말하는 느낌을 익힐 수 있습니다. 특히 이름 유래에 대한 이야기는 친구와의 재미있는 논쟁, 사용자명 선택의 고충 등을 담고 있어, 일상 대화에서 자주 나오는 주제를 연습할 수 있는 좋은 기회입니다.

자연스러운 표현, 깊게 분석해보기

1. "I literally don't know what to do with my life"

"literally"는 강조를 위해 자주 사용되며, "정말로"라는 뜻입니다. 이 표현은 혼란스러울 때 자연스럽게 나오는 말로, "내 인생이 뭘 해야 할지 정말 모르겠어"라고 번역할 수 있습니다. 구어체에서 "what to do with my life"는 인생 방향에 대한 고민을 나타내는 흔한 표현이니 기억해두세요.

2. "I tried to get a different username that was like full beef patty and it was already taken"

"was already taken"은 "이미 사용되었어"라는 뜻으로, SNS나 앱에서 사용자명을 선택할 때 자주 듣는 표현입니다. "that was like"는 "~같은"이라는 뜻으로, 예시를 들 때 사용되며, 자연스러운 대화에서 빠지지 않는 부분입니다. 이 문장을 통해 사용자명 선택의 일상적인 상황을 표현하는 방법을 배울 수 있습니다.

3. "There's like some sort of disconnect"

"like"는 구어체에서 자주 사용되는 약식 표현으로, "약간"이나 "어떤 식으로"라는 뜻입니다. "disconnect"는 "불일치"를 의미하며, "약간의 불일치가 있어"라고 해석할 수 있습니다. 이 표현은 두 가지 개념 사이의 차이를 설명할 때 유용하니, 영어 발음 교정과 함께 연습해보세요.

쉐도잉 연습 루틴, 단계별로 따라하기

shadowspeaks나 shadowing site를 이용해 이 영상의 대화를 연습해보세요. 다음 단계를 따라하면 효과적으로 영어 발음과 흐름을 익힐 수 있습니다:

1. 영상을 5초씩 재생한 후, 즉시 따라 말해보세요. 발음과 억양, 속도를 최대한 비슷하게 맞춰보세요.
2. 자신의 목소리를 녹음한 후, 원본과 비교해보세요. "literally", "like" 등의 약식 표현이 자연스럽게 나오는지 확인하세요.
3. 대화에서 자주 나오는 표현("was already taken", "what to do with my life")을 따로 모아서 반복 연습하세요. shadowspeak을 이용하면 더 효율적으로 연습할 수 있습니다.

이렇게 반복적인 연습을 통해, 일상 대화에서 자연스럽게 영어를 사용할 수 있는 능력을 키울 수 있습니다. 영어 쉐도잉은 실제 말하는 감각을 익히는 가장 좋은 방법이니, 매일 10분씩坚持해보세요!

이 영상의 문법

화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.

문형	영상 속 표현
“used to” used to + 동사 — 지금은 아닌 과거의 습관이나 상태	used to struggle · used to interpret · used to it
조건문 if + 절, will/would + 동사 — 조건과 그 결과	if I go to the gym I'll show
현재완료진행 have/has been + -ing — 전에 시작해 지금도 계속되는 동작	have been using · i've been using
현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때	have helped · I've gotten · has inspired

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

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이 영상, 영어 말하기 연습에 왜 좋을까?

자연스러운 표현, 깊게 분석해보기

1. "I literally don't know what to do with my life"

2. "I tried to get a different username that was like full beef patty and it was already taken"

3. "There's like some sort of disconnect"

쉐도잉 연습 루틴, 단계별로 따라하기

이 영상의 문법

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법