쉐도잉 연습: Why God Makes Us Wait for Love - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
레슨 만드는 중...
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the biggest thing that I'm struggling with is wanting a partner, but not finding the right partner.
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Sometimes it's really hard to separate ourselves from our feelings.
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There are pockets of my day where I might have a little bit more free time
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and then you start overthinking and then the thoughts weigh in
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and it's like you want a man and then it's like you're trying to find the partner.
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God makes us wait to find the right person, even if you feel you're ready.
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While you are waiting, Enjoy this journey of self-love
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because i'm telling you right now you will not have
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that forever Love who you are because at the end of the day
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That is the most important relationship you're going to have is with yourself.
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God Knows what you want
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and he is going to give it to you at the time
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that you are ready to receive it
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If he's making you wait It's only for your own benefit
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and you have to always trust that because at the end of the day He is the creator of everything.
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I'm liana d this is being human.
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I'm glad you're here.
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Hello and welcome back to another episode of being human.
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I'm so excited for today because I feel like I just need to express some things
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that are on my mind and talk about the things that I am doing to overcome them.
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And the main topic is going to be about relationships, love, and wanting a partner in your life.
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But maybe you are trying to find that person, but you feel like you haven't found the one.
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Or maybe you don't feel ready to get into a marriage
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or maybe you're scared and all these different emotions are coming up and it might be holding you back unintentionally.
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And so I'm going to be sharing my experience and talking you through the things that I am doing to overcome them.
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I think the biggest thing that I'm struggling with is wanting a partner, but not finding the right partner.
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I am a lover a girl at heart and I love love.
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And I think that because us as women, we crave having that.
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Like, I think that is completely normal.
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There are some women that don't really want it right away.
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And that's okay too.
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There was many periods of my life where I did not want it at all, but now I am about to turn 25.
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Even though that's still so young, I think it starts to be the age where you just
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want to find the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with.
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And you know, I don't think that age matters to be completely real with you
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because there's so many women that get into marriages
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and then get a divorce and then find their partner at 40 years old.
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Like it's insane.
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And sometimes we put these age limits or these timeframes on things
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and we feel like we have to be married or maybe it's expectations of what your parents want for you.
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Or maybe you just want that for yourself because you see it online and you feel like, is that going to make me happier?
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Is a relationship really going to make you happier
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and you know sometimes it's really hard to separate ourselves from our feelings at times
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and think about why is it that we want a person
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so bad is it for companionship do we want to be saved by a man is it for intimacy
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and you know it's crazy talking about intimacy on here
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because sometimes i feel like weird saying that because i'm a hijabi but as women, we also crave love in that way.
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And we crave companionship.
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We crave wanting that person and not even intimacy in like every single way.
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I'm talking about like just a cuddle pro, like literally as crazy as it sounds like.
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I sound like a child Loki, but cuddling, okay?
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You just want a person that you can hug and it being a male partner.
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And so I think that it's so normal to have these feelings.
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And I almost think that we have to accept
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that we have these feelings as humans and stop trying to push them away
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or stop trying to say it's not the right time
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or you know i can't find the right person why can't we just go through life where we acknowledge
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that we have these feelings
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but still continue to live our normal lives without it taking up
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so much of our mind because sometimes it has
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that effect on me there's many times where you know i
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am pouring into my purpose i am pouring into my passions my side hobbies
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but there are pockets of my day where i might have a little bit more free time
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and then you start overthinking and then the thoughts weigh in
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and it's like you want a man
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and then it's like you're trying to find the partner
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and you know in terms of finding a partner i would say it's really hard for me
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because i have a social media presence
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but i also see a lot of women
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that are just trying you know they're putting themselves out there whether that's through dating apps
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or maybe you're trying to meet new people from family friends
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but But sometimes it still just feels like you're in this consistent cycle of not being able to find the one.
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And you're like, God, what else do you want me to do?
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Where do you want me to find this person?
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But I also think that we need to have more trust.
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But I don't want to just give you a generic answer of trust God and trust his timing.
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But instead of just trusting God, think about fate, okay?
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You came into this world.
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and if you are a spiritual person you do believe
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that God the universe whatever you believe in is guiding your life in many ways every single thing
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that you want ends up happening and if you don't get the thing
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that you want it comes in another form of something
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that is better for you
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and that's why I also feel like God makes us wait to find the right person even if you feel
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like you're ready?
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Because what if you end up finding that person
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and it's the wrong person and you rush into it
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and you give into the expectations of what your parents want for you
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and you start to feel like this is everything
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that you need to be doing is just getting married right away and having children and settling down.
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But what if God is making you wait because you may lose yourself in that?
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What if he wants to build you first before you get into that?
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Build you in a so that you will never lose yourself in a relationship.
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So that you will not have anyone holding something over you
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or trying to also control you in a way that is not religiously allowed.
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And for example, I think that we should always look at our parents as an example.
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And, you know, I love my parents to death and my dad was always a provider.
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He was always a provider, but there are many times where I saw my mom not being able to have control over financial things
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or money being kind of used as manipulation in many ways.
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And I think that when you look at your parents, maybe you have a family that, you know, is an amazing household and like best friends and all these things.
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And, you know, my parents, they're still together, thank God, and they love each other.
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And my dad is amazing.
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My mom's amazing.
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and you know they found the thing that worked
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but I want a best friend like I truly want a best friend
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and someone that is emotionally aware and intelligent
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and can truly communicate in a way where you feel seen
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you feel heard you feel understood you can work through problems
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and arguments without shouting and yelling at each other
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or degrading each other but if you don't have that emotional awareness
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or they don't have that emotional awareness and you don't build yourself right now, you might get to a place where you're in a relationship that you again will lose yourself.
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And that's why I always say you don't want to make the same mistake as your parents.
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If you did grow up in a household where you see that and you don't want that.
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Bro, if a man ever tried to control me with money or tell me that I couldn't do something.
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And when I say I couldn't do something, if God says I can do something and it's okay in the eyes of God, but my husband says I cannot,
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oof bro, there is no way that I would have a man have that much control over me.
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Again, making sure that it is in line with faith and it's okay for me as a woman,
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because it's like, if you give that power up again, you will lose yourself.
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And that's why I always say, build yourself before you get into something.
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And also building means not just financial success, right?
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Because I see so many women online talking about, you need to make this amount of money and have this amount of success before you get a man, because you know, you don't want a man being able to control you.
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That's not what I'm talking about.
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Have something on the side.
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It doesn't have to make millions of dollars, just something going for yourself, because God forbid you lose a partner.
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There are so many women that are married for so long and, you know, a man provided in such an amazing way
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and she you know had financial control and all these things
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and then god forbid like they die the woman ends up having to figure out how to make a living
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and she wasn't accustomed for it and you never want to be in
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that position you always want to have something going for yourself
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and you know it's so crazy to me
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that a lot of men want to say you know bro
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my comments sometimes be crazy it's like oh just get married
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bro get away from me dude like literally i have tried to find people Like I have tried.
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I literally try.
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And I'm just realizing now I'm like, bro, God is going to place it in my life at the right time.
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Why am I stressing?
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Why am I making it such an apparent thing on my mind?
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And it's distracting me from my purpose of what I should be working on right now.
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And y'all, when you are trying to do something in life, the time where it actually is given to you, and when God actually gives you something, it is when you least expect it.
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It's when you least expect it because he spent
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so much time working on you to the point where now he's going to give it to you.
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He's going to give you the blessing.
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And you know, it's so crazy to me.
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It's like a lot of people also mentioned, like, I've been praying for this.
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I want this so bad, but you've got to understand like God is only withholding something for your own good.
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But not only that, when you are praying, are you praying from a place of where you actually believe it?
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Or is there a sliver of doubt in your mind?
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Because if there is any inch of doubt, then it's not going to come true.
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You have to fully believe in your prayers when you were talking about what you want, because God knows what's in your heart.
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He knows what's in your mind.
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And if you approach a prayer of like, God, I want this in my life, I really want this person, but then you don't believe that you're going to actually receive it, then why would he give it to you?
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And I was listening to a lecture actually, and the imam, which is like a pastor in Islam, he was talking about how,
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you know, when you wake up for prayer in the morning, especially to Hajjud which is the night prayer before the morning prayer it's very early
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but even if you wake up 15 minutes before the first morning prayer it's like a prayer
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that doesn't ever miss its target and every time that I was
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so consistent in my life with
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that prayer to Hajjud everything in my life was given to me with ease with true ease
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and even hearing
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that lecture it made me think to myself i need to wake up even earlier than i do now
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and make sure that i have that time to really just sit
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and talk to god because i know that time is
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so blessed and so you really have to trust in fate
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which is also called qadr and qadr is essentially timing it's timing of
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when it is going to be just dropped into your life
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because it will come into your life at the right time when you're ready to receive it.
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But until you receive it, don't overly fixate on it.
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If people in your life are consistently bringing it up to you and you are trying, all you can say is I'm trying, but I'm going to focus on myself.
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I want it, but I'm going to focus on myself.
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I'm worthy of it.
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That's another thing is like I was talking to my friend and she is actually a relationship coach.
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I actually want to get her on the podcast because she talks about if you are wanting something in your life, you also have to feel worthy of receiving it.
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And that comes from confidence.
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Are you working on your confidence?
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Are you training in the gym?
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Or finding some form of movement that you love?
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Are you connecting with yourself through awareness by journaling?
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Are you eating clean and taking care of your health?
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Are you learning and educating yourself and building more knowledge, especially if you want that kind of partner that is doing the same,
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you need to be on a similar level in terms of mindset, in terms of the way that you approach life.
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Like if you want a partner who is disciplined, again you need to be that person and the last thing I would say is are you praying are you
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focusing on your relationship with God you're focused on the relationship
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that you don't have with a human that God created
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but don't you think
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if you were to just pour into your relationship with the creator the one who literally created the person
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that you may end up with everything is going to come through God
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and that's why if you're doing those five things fitness journaling prayer, eating clean, learning and educating yourself.
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Focus on that, pour into your passions, your purpose.
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And I'm telling you right now, God will put that person into your life at the right time.
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I just want to leave you with one more thing.
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When I say put yourself out there, you may need to do the extra step of going out in public, going out in places that you may not go before.
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Maybe it's taking yourself on solo dates or going to the mosque or going to community events, whether you're practicing a different faith,
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like if you're focused on finding someone who is of your faith or of a similar journey that you're on spiritually, you need to go to those places where the people will be at,
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because how else are you going to find that person?
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Cause you're not going to find him from your bedroom.
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Like I'm telling you right now.
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And there's only so much that you can do by going on these like dating apps and all these things.
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Like you need to figure out ways where you can put yourself out there a little bit more.
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And also one more thing that I will say is the way that you present yourself.
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So taking care of yourself.
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I am consistently trying to get better with my skin and I'm not saying you have to be perfect.
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Like that is also another thing is we feel like we have to be perfect in order to find that person.
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But no, the person who comes into your life is going to love you and your flaws
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and the way that you are as long as you are just trying to get better.
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As long as you are trying to present yourself in a way that, you know, the person feels confident and comfortable with being around you
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because you are acting on cleanliness and just very intentional with the foods that you're putting into your body, the things that you consume, the way that you spend your time, like all of these things.
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If you want that person in your life, again, you need to be it.
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So while you were waiting, enjoy this journey of self-love, like truly enjoy this journey of romanticizing your life in a way, because I'm telling you right now,
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you will not have that forever, especially if you want kids later on the line.
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You need to enjoy this time alone because this is your time to focus on building your relationship with you.
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Love who you are because at the end of the day, that is the most important relationship you're going to have is with yourself.
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And so it's like, take little moments to do some more self-care or skincare, take the bath, be intentional with the clothes that you put onto your body, the foods that you eat,
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the way that you cook, learn all these things that make you feel more feminine because yeah, there's going to be points in our life where we wish we were single again
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because every single woman in a marriage feels that way at points in her life.
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And, you know, the grass is always greener on the other side.
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And even myself talking about it, it's like we can look at everyone getting married and having kids and all these things coming from a woman who, again, is pouring into her purpose.
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But it's going to be a feeling that I don't think goes away
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unless you just don't want it in your life because I'm not a man hater.
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Like, that's kind of also something that I want to point out.
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I love men, but I also Can't trust them and maybe it's a little bit of unhealed trauma,
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but by trust I mean it's not necessarily like getting into relationship and you know, like Not thinking that they're going to all be loyal
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and all these things and going through their phones Like I used to be a crazy woman, but I don't want that I want to be able to trust
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But not trust so much to the point where you let yourself go and you don't have anything going for you
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because when you give too much power to someone, it's never healthy.
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And I don't even think God wants that because that's why there's rules
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and contracts and all these things set in place of how marriage is supposed to be
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because you never know what people can do to you,
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which again is why you need to focus on the relationship that you have with yourself.
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And it's so hard sometimes.
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It is hard sometimes, but it's just really about how you spend your time.
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Be intentional with what you are doing in your life So
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if you are someone who wants a partner
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or you're trying to feel worthy of a partner or
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if you're trying to feel like you Need to be this
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perfect person i'm telling you right now Remove all those feelings focus on pouring into yourself
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and i'm telling you right now god Knows what you want He knows what you want
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and he is going to give it to you At the time
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that you are ready to receive it and if he hasn't given it to you right now
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continue to pray continue to wait for it
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but continue to work on yourself in the journey of it
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and then he will give it to you i'm telling you right now i guarantee you
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when he puts something in your heart
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if he's making you wait it's only for your own benefit
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and you have to always trust that
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because at the end of the day he is the creator
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of everything the creator of everything i think you have to
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like literally just think about it in your mind he created us he created humans.
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He created everything.
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So you have to truly trust that when he wants you to be married
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or when he wants that person to come into your life, he will give it to you.
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I think we underestimate the power of God sometimes, which is human.
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It's human of us to do, but it's important that we have that awareness to reflect and, you know, think about why he's making us wait
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and what we are avoiding in ourselves and what we need to work on in ourselves.
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I keep saying that I'm going to mention but more point, but there's actually some comments that I get and I read y'all's comments and I appreciate you all for, you know, letting me know the things that you're going through.
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And it honestly helps me in terms of not only just consistently staying inspired, but also the journey that I'm on.
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I feel deeply connected to you all and the problems that you go through, because I go through the similar problems and the fact
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that I'm able to share these things and you share them with me, I'm incredibly grateful for.
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So I was reading one comment and this is the note that I'll leave off with, which it might be a little bit very open because I touched on the topic of intimacy,
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but that is something common within women, not giving into lust, desires and intimacy and all these things, it's very taboo.
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We're almost put down for it because women talk about it, but why is it okay for men to talk about it?
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And why is it so taboo, especially in religious communities?
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when it's such a real thing.
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It shouldn't be an approach of shame.
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It should be an approach of God gave us these feelings while we shouldn't be acting on them.
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What can we do when we are approached with these desires of wanting intimacy or lust or whatever it is, right?
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I think the biggest thing of when I used to struggle was when you were avoiding something in your life.
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So you're not working on your passion.
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You're not training.
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You're not doing everything in terms of what you can with your time.
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You're not consistently building your relationship with God.
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And by God, I mean reading scripture.
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Like if you are dealing with those kinds of desires, you need to be praying.
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You need to consistently be leaning heavily on God.
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And psychology also says that fasting helps with different kinds of addictions.
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So picking that up, but also if you want to communicate to someone that you trust, but if you're afraid to do that,
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then leaning on God in those moments and also reflecting of like, where does it come from, right?
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What are the moments in day where you recognize these feelings come
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and what can you do instead of giving into
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that thing is it talking to yourself about it through journaling
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is it you know taking deep breaths before you act on anything like there's
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so many different things that you can do to work on overcoming this feeling
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but it's a natural feeling and you shouldn't shame yourself i think that's one thing
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that we end up doing is shaming which leads us to self-sabotage
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and getting upset with ourselves and then losing consistency in life
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and then it's like we beat ourselves up
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and then it goes down this rabbit hole which
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that is going to be the next podcast solo episode by the way is self-sabotage giving him to bad habits
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or maybe it's addictions whatever it might be i'm going to be talking about
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that in depth but don't shame yourself
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and work on yourself again everything comes down to working on yourself
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and by working on yourself i mean use your time wisely like
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that is going to help overcome all these feelings that you have
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when you are approached with different kinds of desires i hope
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that helps maybe i can bring someone on
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that kind of like specializes in the topics of relationships
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and desires and all these different things from a faith perspective let me know
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if you guys would want
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that this is a very like safe space like i like to think of it as
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that and i hope that you can take those feelings away
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because yeah i'm speaking to women
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and also oof i forgot to explain this oh my gosh
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having male friendships i'm going to be completely honest i don't
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believe in male friendships i know i'm going to get some backlash for this one
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but i just truly believe that god designed women and men a certain way to where if boundaries are crossed
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then it can be bad.
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But if you are friends with a man, maybe it's business.
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But again, it's like certain conversations should not be had in business and trying to always maintain those boundaries.
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Because at the end of the day, I don't want a husband who's friends with a bunch of women.
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I'm going to be completely real.
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And if he's in business with women, are those conversations professional?
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Or is he joking around with a bunch of women
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and consistently talking about things that are irrelevant and i think
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that men might be less prone to having feelings or emotions but women
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we are very emotional creatures and i think that you have to realize
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that if you are ever friends with men like why am i friends with these men because sometimes
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that can be blocking your blessing of finding the person who
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is meant to be in your life is having conversations with the opposite gender
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that should not be had and also not lowering your gaze like
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that is something that men struggle with most definitely
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but also women like as women do we want a man who is looking at every single woman
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so we also need to do the same of lowering our gaze
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when it comes to men and it's not like not only looking at men
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but it's like being very aware of these things
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because it does play a role
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and again i go back to scripture i'm always looking at what did god say in the quran
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And that's how you should also approach your faith if you're tuning in from a different religion of like, what does it say in my scripture?
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Because that is essentially how we should live our lives.
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I hope you guys took away some insightful information from this episode.
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And, you know, maybe it was just something of comfort to remind you that you're not alone on this journey.
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There's so many women going through the same feelings that you were going through.
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Just know that when you choose to pour into yourself, God is going to recognize that and you should be
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so proud of how far you have come
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because i don't think you understand like your life everything is going to work out
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and you have to remember that so have more trust in god
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and have more trust in yourself like truly recognize how amazing you are
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and yeah i will see you guys in the next episode make sure you subscribe on youtube
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if you're tuning in from spotify or apple please follow in here as well
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and i love you all so much and i'll see you in the next episode
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영상의 맥락과 배경
이 영상은 연애와 관계, 사랑을 기다리는 과정에 대해 이야기하는 내용입니다. 리아나라는 화자는 25살이 되어가면서 진정한 파트너를 찾고 싶은 마음과 그 과정에서 겪는 고민을 솔직하게 털어놓습니다. "왜 신은 사랑을 기다리게 할까?"라는 주제 아래, 자신감과 자기 사랑의 중요성, 때가 되면 원하는 것을 받을 수 있다는 신뢰에 대해 이야기하며, 시청자들에게 위로와 동기를 주고 있습니다. 일상적인 감정과 생각을 담은 대화이기 때문에, 영어 학습자에게는 자연스러운 발음과 표현을 연습하기 좋은 자료입니다.
일상 대화에 유용한 상위 5개 표현
- "overthinking" - 과도하게 생각하다. "There are pockets of my day where I might have a little bit more free time and then you start overthinking"에서 사용된 이 표현은 일상에서 자주 쓰이는 단어로, 스트레스나 고민을 표현할 때 유용합니다.
- "self-love" - 자기 사랑. "Enjoy this journey of self-love"에서처럼, 자신을 사랑하고 돌보는 것을 강조할 때 사용됩니다. IELTS 스피킹에서도 인간 관계나 성장에 관한 주제에서 자주 등장합니다.
- "crave" - 간절히 원하다. "we crave having that"에서 연애나 배려와 같은 감정적 요구를 표현할 때 쓰입니다. 발음은 [kreɪv]로, 영어 발음 교정 시 주의해야 할 부분입니다.
- "companionship" - 동반, 친밀한 관계. "is it for companionship"에서 같이 살거나 함께 있는 것에 대한 욕구를 나타냅니다. 쉐도잉 연습 시 음절을 명확히 구분하는 것이 중요합니다.
- "unintentionally" - 의도치 않게. "it might be holding you back unintentionally"에서 부정적인 영향을 미치는 것을 모르고 있다는 뜻으로, 일상 대화에서 자주 사용됩니다.
단계별 쉐도잉 가이드
이 영상은 화자가 자연스러운 톤과 빠른 속도로 이야기하기 때문에, shadowspeak 연습에 적합합니다. 다음 단계로 쉽게 접근해 보세요:
- 청취와 이해: 먼저 영상을 2-3번 듣고 전체 내용을 이해합니다. 주요 주제와 감정을 파악하는 것이 중요합니다.
- 단어와 구문 연습: 위에서 소개한 표현들을 중심으로 발음을 연습합니다. 특히 "overthinking"나 "companionship"과 같은 긴 단어는 음절을 나눠서 읽고, 영어 발음 교정 앱을 사용해 확인할 수 있습니다.
- 쉐도잉 실천: 영상을 5초씩 멈추고 따라합니다. 화자의 톤, 강세, 억양을 따라하려고 노력하세요. shadowing site를 이용하면 더 체계적으로 연습할 수 있습니다.
- 녹음과 비교: 자신이 말한 것을 녹음하고 원본과 비교합니다. 속도와 발음의 차이를 찾아보고, 부족한 부분을 보완합니다.
이 과정을 반복하면 IELTS 스피킹 실력뿐만 아니라 일상 대화 능력도 크게 향상될 것입니다. 사랑을 기다리는 마음과 같은 감정적인 내용은 쉐도잉할 때 더 몰입할 수 있어 효과적입니다. 작은 진전부터 시작해 지속적으로 연습해 보세요!
이 영상의 문법
화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.
| 문형 | 영상 속 표현 |
|---|---|
| 조건문 if + 절, will/would + 동사 — 조건과 그 결과 | if you guys would want |
| 수동태 be + 과거분사 — 누가 하는지보다 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 초점 | be saved · wasn't accustomed · is given |
| 관계절 who / which + 절 — 사람이나 사물에 대한 추가 정보 | imam, which is · Hajjud which is · one who literally |
| 현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때 | haven't found · have tried · hasn't given |
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.