쉐도잉 연습: allow me to de-influence you | relationship edition - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
연습 모드 선택
각 모드는 전체 화면 연습실로 열립니다.
185 문장
문장이 너무 짧거나 길면 Edit를 눌러 조정하세요.
1
I fear that some of the most romantic relationship advice you hear are also the same advice
2
that keeps you making bad decisions in love.
3
So allow me to de-influence you from some relationship beliefs that might be ruining your love life.
4
Hi muses!
5
Welcome back to the channel where women who want everything learn to have their cake and eat it too.
6
I'm your host Nadine and I am all about Rebuilding the Village for Women.
7
I just want to thank you for being here.
8
Please subscribe if you're new so you never miss any of our chats.
9
I'm a total lover girl and I love romance.
10
I love the idea of finding your person and building this beautiful life together.
11
I do believe that love will heal the world, but I also think that if you have a lot of love to give,
12
it makes it even more important to have discernment because there are
13
so many ideas about relationships that we have romanticized that never really actually benefits the well-being of women.
14
And then you get so attached to what love is supposed to look like
15
or feel like that you stop paying attention to what's actually unfolding in your relationship.
16
And when you have a huge capacity to love someone, you also have a huge capacity to rationalize the things they do.
17
You see potential, you find meaning and struggle.
18
You give multiple chances until eventually you realize that you've just gotten really good at explaining why the relationship isn't good yet.
19
I've learned a lot through my own relationships, heartbreaks, mistakes, and just seeing love very differently now after knowing how much relationships can change you.
20
So today I'm sharing six things I had to learn in my own love life.
21
Some came from realizing that things I used to romanticize weren't actually serving me,
22
and some are conclusions I've come to simply because I've gotten much wiser
23
and clearer about the kind of love in life I actually want.
24
You absolutely do not have to agree with every single one.
25
These are just my perspectives, but maybe one of them will make you look at something in your life a little differently.
26
As always, we don't gatekeep, So let's step into it.
27
Number one, butterflies in your stomach is a nervous system reaction and not proof of chemistry.
28
You know, when you get really excited and nervous when you meet someone new.
29
Yeah.
30
I kind of learned to ignore that your body reacting intensely to someone does not automatically mean that is your husband.
31
Sometimes it's just your nervous system recognizing something that feels familiar, which may or may not be healthy for you.
32
We've been fed this idea that love has to start with this intense passion and be obsessive and all-encompassing.
33
You meet him and you can't eat.
34
You can't sleep.
35
You're checking your phone every five minutes and you're like, oh my God, I've never felt this way before.
36
Sometimes that's just excitement and anxiety.
37
The freshness and novelty of not knowing where you stand with someone creates butterflies.
38
Someone love bombing you can create butterflies, but when you fall too hard too fast,
39
you end up missing or ignoring all of the signs and red flags.
40
And if you're used to emotional unpredictability, stability can't initially feel kind of boring.
41
There's no emotional roller coaster.
42
You're just getting to know someone and they're clear with their intentions and pursuit.
43
But I think that's how some of the healthiest love begins.
44
It's much slower because you're actually paying attention to his actions, his behavior, his intentions, his character,
45
and most importantly, his consistency.
46
Of course, be attracted and please be excited about him, but just know that intensity means nothing if he can't be consistent.
47
Number two, the idea of the right person at the wrong time just means this was the wrong person.
48
Let's not glorify it.
49
I have this window or door theory, which I actually apply to a lot of things in life.
50
You can meet someone who treats you really well and checks a lot of your boxes, but the relationship still couldn't happen.
51
Lack of attraction, problems around values, timing, things out of your control.
52
I have started thinking about these people as windows instead of doors.
53
A window lets you see something.
54
A door gives you somewhere to go.
55
And sometimes a person comes into your life just to show
56
you what is possible without necessarily being the person you're supposed to build your life with.
57
Maybe he showed you what emotional availability feels like, or he showed you that men can actually communicate,
58
or maybe you finally experienced a generous man, or he loved a part of you you thought was too hard to love.
59
And because that experience expanded your standards, you think it has to be him.
60
But maybe his purpose in your life was just to show you what is possible.
61
Number three, I'm kind of scared and nervous to share this one, but the dream girl theory is real and you know when you are her.
62
I know this one is going to hurt
63
and it might piss some people off because I have made some women upset with this, but they always come back to me and tell me that I'm right.
64
So I need you to hear this because it's going to be part of a big life decision you make.
65
I believe in the dream girl theory, not in the sense that there is one perfect woman who can magically transform a terrible man.
66
Absolutely not.
67
We do not touch that.
68
But I do think that when men are truly in love with you, you can feel it.
69
When he appreciates having you in his life, when he can't stand seeing you in pain, can't stand seeing you struggle,
70
There's a level of care and devotion, almost like he would literally do anything within his means for you.
71
That's where you see the babying, the coddling, or his softness, or how gentle he is with you, how much he wants to do things for you.
72
Unfortunately, most women get into relationships with men who like them just enough,
73
or with men who use them as placeholders while they are building or until they can get the girl they actually want.
74
I am skipping the placeholder talk because if you work on your self-worth and your self-love enough, you would eventually get out of that relationship on your own.
75
But the sneaky one is the man who likes you just enough.
76
He'll do everything right.
77
You'll get married.
78
You'll have kids.
79
He'll give you your once a month dates.
80
He'll send you flowers on all the right holidays and your birthday.
81
Everything will be split exactly 50-50.
82
You'll have your twice a year family vacations.
83
He'll be a great father and a passable husband,
84
yet you will feel like you can never ask him for more because he just doesn't want to give more to you.
85
This is never really a bad deal for him because he gets everything he wants.
86
You've given him a family, kids, companionship, a warm bed, sex, your responsible great wife.
87
You've given him everything, but you'll find that your emotional needs are rarely ever met.
88
He does the basics of a good husband, but nothing more.
89
So you'll feel crazy for being unhappy and feel bad for wanting more.
90
And I'm not saying that these relationships don't work out.
91
In fact, I think these are the majority of a lot of relationships and marriages, but just know exactly what you're signing up for.
92
A man who holds you in the palm of his hands, who truly wants a life with you
93
and is always looking out for you is not going to
94
feel the same as a man who is strictly just looking for a partner to do life with.
95
Number four, no one is coming to save you.
96
I am going to speak on this from experience.
97
I had hit a low in my life previously where I was really struggling
98
and just praying I would meet someone who could help me out of the dumps.
99
Let's just say that the mindset you're in at rock bottom is not a very empowered mindset to date with.
100
If they can help you, they can leave you back where you were unless you build up the skills to thrive on your own.
101
On the flip side, through that experience, I had also become so strong and so independent,
102
so exhausted of doing things on my own, so capable that I also felt like, damn, I just want a man to show up and see all
103
that I am carrying and let me feel safe to lean on him.
104
Someone who was like, baby girl, you have done enough.
105
Let me take care of you.
106
But babe, you have to give yourself the life you want and the love you want to yourself first.
107
You have to learn how to thrive on your own while creating space for the man you want to meet you halfway.
108
Because no man that you actually want is going to waltz into your life and fight you to be the man.
109
He's not going to argue with you to let him take care of you.
110
He's just going to be like, okay, she's got a handle.
111
She doesn't need me.
112
Let me go to someone who actually wants me to care for them and can appreciate me.
113
And if you're an absolute train wreck on the flip side and you're waiting for a man to save you, no man who has his life together
114
and has a good head on his shoulders is going to attach himself to chaos and drama.
115
And that is a fact.
116
You got to be strong for yourself.
117
You got to level up.
118
You got to create opportunities for yourself to date better
119
and make sure that you are also someone the man you want wants to.
120
Number five, love is not enough.
121
Your partner is the only family member you get to choose.
122
So you have to choose wisely.
123
You don't get to choose your parents.
124
You don't get to choose your siblings.
125
You don't get to choose the family you are born into, but you do get to choose the person you create your own family with.
126
And I don't think this is talked about enough how consequential this decision actually is
127
because you're not just choosing a boyfriend or a husband.
128
You're choosing someone you're potentially going to share a home with, make financial decisions with, celebrate with, travel with, age with.
129
Someone who might be sitting next to you in a hospital room one day.
130
The person who is supposed to hold your hand when one of your parents pass away.
131
Love is important, absolutely, but character, values, and emotional safety matter so much more.
132
Your relationship with him becomes the blueprint of love your children model after when they grow up.
133
Yes, divorce is so common now, but you still have to deal with each other because he's the father of your child.
134
Ask yourself honestly, if you removed the romantic part of this relationship,
135
would you still choose this person as your partner for the biggest group project of your life?
136
Do you trust your future with this man's character?
137
Last one, number six, struggle love is over romanticized and suffering is not a virtue.
138
I really want us to let go of the idea
139
that suffering or struggling with a man somehow earns you a better version of him later.
140
I was there when he had nothing.
141
I held him down.
142
I believed in him before anybody else did.
143
I stayed for everything.
144
Okay.
145
And I'm not saying that there is no value to the work you've put in
146
or that you should never do this for a good man, but you need to understand the risks and the opportunity costs.
147
Being his day one does not guarantee you will be there on day 3650.
148
Enduring hardship with him, depending on his character, may or may not buy you some loyalty because how somebody behaves when their circumstances improve
149
has so much more to do with their character than how much you sacrificed along the way.
150
There are men who appreciate their wives because she's been there since day one
151
and now he has all the resources to give her the best life.
152
And then there are men who leave their starter wives
153
and love their second wives even more because now he actually has his dream girl.
154
And then there are men who reach success, fall out of love with their wives, but stay married out of loyalty and because they want to keep the money in the family.
155
But it might be a loveless marriage.
156
They might open up their relationship.
157
He might have mistresses or whatever.
158
You don't really know who he's going to be until the day comes.
159
So again, know exactly what you're signing up for.
160
I think we started attaching morality to a woman's willingness to struggle with a man.
161
Like if she stays in struggles, she's loyal.
162
If she says this isn't the life I want and I'm done, then suddenly she's selfish or a gold digger.
163
But you are allowed to value peace and stability.
164
These are just some of the insights and realizations around love and relationships I've come to understand through my own reflection.
165
I think if there's one thing I want you to take away from today,
166
it's that you have to stop letting romantic ideas make decisions for your real life because some things sound beautiful in theory,
167
but you have to realize most of it is a fantasy.
168
You are the only one
169
and potentially your future child who has to live with the choices you make and the life those fantasy ideas actually create.
170
At the end of the day, you decide the road you wanna take, the things you wanna do, but just try to make sure you are doing it for the right person,
171
that they are actually worthy of your love and that you are not abandoning yourself in the process.
172
I have always said this, getting into a relationship is easy.
173
Getting into the right relationship with the right person is what's kind of hard.
174
Does this relationship actually make your life better?
175
Do you like who you are with this person?
176
Do you respect the person you're building a life with?
177
Do they respect you?
178
Are you choosing him based on who he consistently is today, his characters, morals, and values?
179
Or are you choosing him based on who you're hoping he'll eventually become?
180
Because if nothing about him changes from this exact moment forward, would you still choose this relationship?
181
Because that is the person you're actually with.
182
That's all the cake I have for you today.
183
Thank you so much for watching until the end.
184
I appreciate it so much.
185
And if you enjoyed our little chat today, please like, hype, and leave a comment to share your thoughts, and I'll see you in the next episode.
앱 다운로드
유창하게 말하는 데 필요한 모든 것
AI 발음 평가문장마다 점수 확인
IPA 발음 연습모든 소리 마스터
단어 학습나만의 단어장 만들기
단어 게임놀면서 외우기
📺 같은 채널
B24
10 social rules every smart woman should know
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B26
can i tell you something? | getting in my own way, inner thoughts, chit chat
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
you're not too late | most people quit, consistency is a superpower
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B26
8 smart girl mindsets i live by | be confident, successful, and unbothered
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B210
why you need more time alone | the art of solitude
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
the social skills every smart woman needs
Business EnglishWorking Adults
B29
the harsh reality of outgrowing friends | how to handle it
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
how to be chic | underconsumption | developing your taste
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
how to be respected as a woman | stop being nice, self-betrayal, people pleasing
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
the mindset shift that changed my 30s | why you still feel stuck
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
the hidden rules of life | cheat codes, main character energy, glow up
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
the 6 friendship rules i use to build a real village
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
become your own case study | get hot, smart, and confident
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
rich girl habits that elevated my finances
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B26
the social playbook for smart women
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
✨ 추천 영상
B27
31 문장
How to Love without fear
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
214 문장
make them obsessed with you using psychology.
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
31 문장
Give me 3 minutes and I'll help you LOVE studying again.
Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B23
144 문장
why aren't you living like you're in a romcom?
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
320 문장
Divorced People Share Advice for Younger Self
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
278 문장
The Dating Rules Manipulators Hope You Ignore
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2635
38 문장
Stop introducing yourself like this.
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B23
798 문장
How to Get Better at Love (According to Science) | Relationship Expert Amy Chan
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B28
337 문장
How to Enter Your Unbothered Era: Stop Over-Explaining and Let Them Lose You
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B14
88 문장
Positive Affirmations to Change Your Life 🦋✨ 33 Powerful Daily Affirmations
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
217 문장
6 Steps To Reclaim Your Life, Start Today
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
영어 회화 연습을 위한 비디오 컨텍스트 이해
이 비디오는 관계에 대한 오랜 관념을 재고하는 내용으로, 화자는 로맨틱한 조언이 오히려 잘못된 결정을 이끌 수 있다고 주장합니다. 자연스러운 대화체로 이루어져 있어 일상 영어 회화 연습에 적합하며, 감정 표현과 논리적 설명이 풍부해 발음과 리듬을 연습하기 좋습니다.
일상 대화에 유용한 상위 5개 표현
- de-influence you: "잘못된 영향을 없애다"는 뜻으로, 누군가의 잘못된 생각을 바로잡을 때 사용합니다. 예: "Let me de-influence you about that myth."
- rationalize the things they do: "그들의 행동을 합리화하다"로, 부정적인 행동을 정당화하는 경우에 쓰입니다. 예: "She always rationalizes his mistakes."
- love bombing: "사랑 폭격"으로, 지나치게 과도한 애정을 표시해 상대방을 설득하는 행위를 말합니다. 예: "His love bombing made her feel uncomfortable."
- red flags: "위험 신호"로, 관계에서 문제가 될 수 있는 징후를 나타냅니다. 예: "Ignoring red flags can lead to heartbreak."
- emotional roller coaster: "감정 기차"로, 감정이 극도로 오르내리는 상태를 설명합니다. 예: "Their relationship is an emotional roller coaster."
비디오 쉐도잉 연습 가이드 (shadowspeak)
영어 쉐도잉은 발음과 리듬을 개선하는 효과적인 방법입니다. 이 비디오의 경우, 다음 단계로 연습하세요:
- 청취 이해: 먼저 비디오를 2-3번 듣고 전체 내용을 파악합니다. 화자의 논리적 흐름을 따라가며 "왜 그런 말을 하는지" 생각해보세요.
- 단어 발음 교정: 위에서 소개한 표현들을 중점적으로 연습합니다. 특히 "rationalize" (래셔널라이즈)나 "roller coaster" (롤러 코스터)와 같은 길거나 어려운 단어의 발음을 확인하세요.
- 리듬과 강세 연습: 화자가 강조하는 부분 (예: "consistency", "wrong person")을 찾아 그대로 따라합니다. 영어의 자연스러운 리듬을 느끼기 위해 문장을 쪼개지 않고 한 번에 따라가는 연습을 합니다.
- 속도 조절: 처음에는 느린 속도로, 점차 원래 속도에 맞춰 연습합니다. 쉐도잉을 할 때는 화자의 목소리와 거의 동시에 말하는 것이 중요하니, 너무 뒤쳐지지 않도록 주의하세요.
이와 같은 단계로 연습하면 영어 발음 교정뿐만 아니라, 일상 대화에서의 유창성도 크게 향상될 것입니다. 영어 회화 연습에 지속적으로 노력하다 보면 자연스럽게 원어민처럼 말할 수 있게 됩니다.
이 영상의 문법
화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.
| 문형 | 영상 속 표현 |
|---|---|
| 현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때 | have romanticized · you've just gotten · I've learned |
| 관계절 who / which + 절 — 사람이나 사물에 대한 추가 정보 | women who want · someone who treats · woman who can |
| 수동태 be + 과거분사 — 누가 하는지보다 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 초점 | We've been fed · be attracted · will be split |
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.