쉐도잉 연습: Why Feeling Lonely Means Your Life Is About to Level Up - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

So you probably clicked on this video because you feel lonely.

⏸ 일시 정지

재생 속도:

427 문장

문장이 너무 짧거나 길면 Edit를 눌러 조정하세요.

So you probably clicked on this video because you feel lonely.

And guess what?

If that's you, you are not alone because your girl feels lonely right now.

Very lonely.

And actually one of my clearest,

earliest memories of feeling genuinely lonely was back when I was 18 years old and I was a freshman at NYU.

I remember it like it was yesterday, okay?

It was a Friday night.

I was sitting alone in my dorm room crying in my bed because both of my roommates had plans.

And it was my third weekend in a row spending it by myself.

And it just felt like everyone and their mom had friends except for me.

Everyone had their friend group.

Everyone belonged.

And I was just always alone.

And I even remember like my mom calling me and asking, how's college?

How are you enjoying it?

And I lied to her.

I was like, I love it here.

I love it here.

I have so many friends.

It was all a lie.

And it was because I didn't want to admit to her that I felt lonely.

And you know, for context,

my parents are both Korean immigrants.

They literally sacrificed everything for me to be able to go to school.

And so the guilt of telling them

that I was actually struggling in school almost felt heavier than the loneliness itself I remember I would eat lunch alone.

I would walk to class alone I sat alone in my

dorm room feeling like everyone else had found their people

and I just didn't and you know Your girl knows what it feels like to feel lonely.

Okay, it's not fun It sucks and at 18 years old

that moment felt like the end of the world and I actually just turned 26 So your girl is grown.

I have the friends that i've always wanted.

I have my dream career.

I have my dream apartment I'm finally financially stable yet.

I still feel lonely at times.

I feel very lonely right now.

And that's actually why I wanted to make this video to help you better understand why you may feel lonely

and to remind you that what you're feeling right now doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you.

And if you use this lonely season,

right, you can actually transform yourself into the best,

most confident version of yourself.

If you're new here, hello,

my name is Lena and I share all things leveling up and becoming your best self.

So if you're not already subscribed, what are you doing?

Okay.

What are you doing?

Go subscribe right now.

By the way, how are we liking this new podcast setup?

We're trying something new.

I'm holding the mic this time.

Let me know how you guys feel about it.

I read all the comments.

So what loneliness feels like.

So loneliness is that feeling that you get when you're by yourself and you just don't feel like you're at peace.

And honestly, the best way I can describe it is it's like a sinking feeling.

It's like a pit in your stomach.

And it almost feels like you're drowning.

You're like drowning in water,

but no one else sees.

It's like a heavy feeling in your chest.

Like for me, sometimes when I feel lonely,

it literally feels like my stomach is empty,

like so empty that it's almost painful.

I found this photo that actually depicts the feeling really well.

And actually, fun fact, feeling lonely doesn't mean you're actually physically alone.

It could be that heavy feeling you get when the day is almost done,

when your day is going by and you just don't know what to do with yourself,

when you're constantly checking your phone but no one is texting or calling you,

when you want to talk to somebody but you feel like you have no one to reach out to.

Sometimes feeling lonely shows up as you constantly scrolling on your phone

because maybe you're bored because maybe sitting with your own thoughts is just uncomfortable.

It also looks like staying super busy so you don't have to feel the lonely feeling.

And sometimes it's really confusing too.

Sometimes your life is going well, it's going fine.

And you wonder like, why do I feel lonely when my life is fine?

And then maybe you start to feel guilty for feeling lonely.

So that's what basically loneliness feels like, at least to me.

So for me, when I was 18 years old,

feeling super lonely every single day,

I always thought it was just because I was struggling to make friends in college.

But thinking about it now,

there were so many layers to it, girl.

Like, first of all, NYU is a pretty prestigious school.

And majority of the people that go there come from very wealthy backgrounds.

You know, private school, boarding school.

I come from a lower income background, public school education.

My parents were both working class immigrants.

And so I already went to NYU feeling like less than.

And also, when your girl first got there,

tell me why everyone and their mom already had their friend groups already.

Because apparently NYU had a Facebook group where you could join and literally meet people before school even started.

No one told me about this Facebook group.

okay so everyone came to school first day school everyone knew everybody

and i was looking around like hello like how do you all know each other

and i remember there was this one girl group

that it was just like the prettiest girls they were dressed like fabulous

and i remember i went up to them

and i was trying to make friends with them i was being friendly with them

100

and they actually invited me out to eat

101

which i was like yay i finally made my friends tell me why

102

when i get back to my dorm room i look up the restaurant

103

that they're trying to go to three dollar signs I was like,

104

um, I was a broke college student.

105

Okay.

106

And I do not come from money.

107

Like $3 signs is crazy.

108

So I texted them that I didn't feel well just to make an excuse.

109

So I didn't have to go.

110

And after I skipped out on that meal,

111

they never invited me again.

112

And they ended up being close all throughout college.

113

And after that moment, I felt even more lonely.

114

Why you feel lonely.

115

So actually a lot of times loneliness happens when you're in the middle of a transition season when you're growing,

116

when you're healing, you're outgrowing old versions of yourself.

117

Maybe you're outgrowing some friends,

118

people that you were friends with for years.

119

Maybe you don't relate to them anymore.

120

And that's actually really normal.

121

You know, when you're friends with people,

122

everyone is going through different stages of their life.

123

You know, especially during like the college years.

124

I remember like some people were going to college.

125

Some people were getting married, having kids.

126

Other people were like partying all the time.

127

There's other people already working full time.

128

So you often feel loneliness when things are changing around you.

129

And when things are changing, it feels uncomfortable.

130

It feels unfamiliar.

131

And you might not understand why you feel lonely,

132

but it makes sense, you know?

133

So why I feel lonely now.

134

So I wanted to kind of open up about why I am actually struggling with loneliness right now,

135

because I thought, you know,

136

the last time I felt super lonely was when I was 18 years old and was struggling to make friends in college.

137

Your girl is grown now.

138

I'm 26 and I still feel lonely.

139

And I had to figure out why I felt lonely

140

because even though I've come such a long way from that 18 year old version of myself that,

141

you know, was super insecure,

142

struggled to make friends, was a broke college student, like had zero confidence.

143

You know, like on paper,

144

my life looks a lot better now.

145

Okay.

146

It looks like your girl's up.

147

I can eat at the restaurants with the $3 signs.

148

Now I have the career of my dreams,

149

the career that I used to dream every single day about.

150

I have amazing friends.

151

I have an amazing supportive community of a million of you who give me so much life and purpose.

152

I live in a beautiful apartment in my dream city in New York city.

153

I have an amazing family.

154

So from the outside, you know,

155

it probably looks like I have it all.

156

Like I even had to ask myself,

157

like, why do I even feel lonely right now?

158

You have everything that you've ever asked God for right now.

159

I'm actually in a healing season or transition season.

160

Last year, I got out of a five-year relationship.

161

And when you go from spending every single day with a person,

162

building your entire future around a person,

163

giving so much of yourself to another person to all of a sudden trying to navigate life alone,

164

spending every day alone, trying to be alone with yourself and your thoughts,

165

trying to comfort and soothe yourself.

166

Like it's been a loneliness that I've never experienced before.

167

Also at the same time that I got out of that relationship,

168

I made the decision to cut off my dad and he was an abusive alcoholic my entire life.

169

We were never close, but mourning the relationship I never got to have with my dad.

170

And also mourning the fact that I never got the dad that I deserved and understanding as an adult,

171

how he has destroyed and negatively affected our family.

172

That has been another experience of loneliness that I've never felt before.

173

And just processing how both of those relationships were not healthy for me all of

174

that together has added an immense amount of loneliness into my life

175

that i'm not gonna lie i was not prepared for

176

and you know i'm doing the right things now like i'm

177

in therapy i'm in my word i'm praying every single day

178

i'm really prioritizing my healing i'm setting boundaries i know i'm doing all the right things

179

but even in all that and doing all the right things i still feel really lonely

180

and it's really hard for me to admit but last year

181

when i was going through all this a bunch of you guys didn't even know

182

because I was trying to escape the loneliness.

183

Okay.

184

I didn't want you guys to see me struggling.

185

I didn't want to show anybody that I was struggling and feeling lonely.

186

So my instinct was to escape.

187

Okay.

188

I was traveling everywhere around the world.

189

Like literally within a few months,

190

I went from going to Italy, Portugal, London, Canada.

191

I was staying super busy with work.

192

I was still posting all the time.

193

I was surrounding myself with all my friends,

194

going out, grinding at my work.

195

And I did all of that to help me feel less lonely.

196

And it worked temporarily.

197

But guys at the end of it it all left me feeling even more lonely

198

and even more empty

199

So even though on the outside still my life might look like it's up internally I'm telling you guys every single day.

200

I've been battling loneliness

201

But let me tell you guys why I know feeling lonely

202

as uncomfortable as it is as much as I hate it

203

is essential for me right now Especially in my healing season my self-worth

204

and my standards are now rising faster than my loneliness feeling

205

And that just proved to me that loneliness is an essential part of your healing journey So girl,

206

I know how much it sucks.

207

Okay, the feeling is not fun.

208

Feeling lonely, it sucks.

209

Like it really does.

210

It really does.

211

My instinct is just to want to escape it,

212

but sitting in it is the hard thing.

213

It's easy to distract yourself with your friends,

214

to go travel, to keep yourself busy with work,

215

to go out partying, to jump into another relationship,

216

to not think about it.

217

But sitting in your thoughts and your loneliness and feeling the discomfort,

218

that is where you're going to grow the most.

219

And I know this

220

because I've had the most growth in the past month where I've sat in the loneliness and embraced it.

221

Seek the support you need.

222

So, you know, from dealing with a five-year breakup and,

223

and cutting off my dad in the past six months,

224

I tried the method of distracting.

225

You know, I kept telling myself to push through,

226

push through to be strong, to continue on.

227

And eventually I just hit my breaking point where I finally realized I couldn't distract myself anymore.

228

I don't need to push harder.

229

I don't need to work harder.

230

I need support.

231

And that's why I'm so grateful that this video is sponsored by BetterHelp.

232

And I just like love their mission.

233

And this past month, especially I've been prioritizing my healing and just growing and started focusing on myself and understanding myself.

234

And therapy has played a huge part in that guys.

235

What I love about BetterHelp is how simple it is to get started.

236

After signing up, you just fill out a questionnaire

237

and they match you with a licensed therapist based on your preferences and their clinical experience.

238

And if the therapist isn't the right fit for you,

239

you can switch at any time with no extra cost,

240

which is honestly so helpful because I know how intimidating starting therapy can be.

241

Sessions can be done by video phone or live chat.

242

So if it's your life,

243

even if things get busy,

244

therapy has helped me so much.

245

It's helped me understand myself better,

246

my emotions, to build self-trust,

247

self-worth instead of just running on pressure.

248

So you can join the 6 million plus people who have gotten help from BetterHelp.

249

You can click the link in my description

250

or go to betterhelp.com slash leanalifts to get 10% off your first month of therapy.

251

So this is probably no surprise,

252

but social media makes our loneliness so much worse.

253

Studies have consistently shown that the more time people spend on social media,

254

the lonelier they report feeling,

255

especially when they're using it to stay connected,

256

which funny enough, that is the point of social media to help us feel more connected.

257

But the irony is that it's making us feel lonelier.

258

And research across adults of different ages found that frequent social media use is strongly associated with loneliness,

259

even when people have jobs,

260

friends, and have full lives.

261

And just think about it.

262

Every single time you scroll and scroll,

263

you're being fed everyone else's lives,

264

everyone else's highlight reels, their perfect photos,

265

their perfect moments, their perfect vacation.

266

And it makes you feel lonelier.

267

It makes you feel isolated.

268

And then you start constantly comparing yourself to everyone else's life that you see on social media.

269

And because you're only seeing the perfect moments,

270

you might feel like your life is not good enough.

271

And I am proof of that, okay?

272

When I was going through all my hormonal imbalances and acne blew up all over my face,

273

I was barely leaving my apartment.

274

I spent every single weekend inside.

275

I never wanted to go outside.

276

I felt horrible about myself.

277

My self-esteem was like to the ground.

278

I felt so lonely.

279

And to escape that loneliness,

280

I would start scrolling on my phone.

281

And one hour would turn to two, two, three.

282

And then all of a sudden my whole day would be gone from just scrolling.

283

And instead of helping me feel more connected with other people and feel less lonely,

284

it made me feel worse.

285

I'd finish scrolling and I'd feel even more lonely,

286

even more depressed, even more insecure.

287

And then on top of that,

288

I would feel even worse about myself because I wasted all my time just scrolling and scrolling.

289

And so it was just like this negative cycle loop.

290

I would feel lonely, then scroll to escape,

291

feel worse, then scroll more.

292

And look, I've tried to do screen time limits.

293

I tried to do social media cleanses.

294

And honestly, none of that really worked for me long-term.

295

I just realized that I needed to be intentional with where my attention was going.

296

So I started using tools like journaling every single morning, praying every day.

297

I also created Cove, which is my app that I literally created to document my own routines,

298

my thoughts, my moments, my progress.

299

So using tools like journaling,

300

like Cove, that are intentional tools to help you focus back on yourself instead of focusing on other people on social media,

301

that has been a game changer for helping me not doom scroll anymore.

302

And it's helped me feel less lonely.

303

You're alone, but not lonely.

304

So another big lesson I've learned is that being alone doesn't automatically mean you're lonely.

305

Like before, whenever I'd feel lonely,

306

I thought that the solution was to never be alone,

307

to always have plans, to always have people around,

308

to always keep myself busy.

309

But what I've realized is being alone is so important because

310

when you're alone with your thoughts and yourself

311

and you have to sit with yourself and you learn to be at peace with that feeling,

312

you don't wait for someone else to make you feel whole.

313

You don't settle for less than what you deserve.

314

You're not scrolling and scrolling to fill the silence.

315

You're not chasing plans and friends just to avoid your thoughts.

316

You start paying attention to your own life again, to yourself.

317

You start building confidence.

318

You start growing.

319

And that's why it's actually really important to understand the difference between feeling lonely and being alone because you could feel lonely,

320

but you could enjoy being alone.

321

And if you're in a season right now where you're spending more time with yourself,

322

you feel a lot more lonely than usual.

323

That does not mean your life is over,

324

that you are unwanted, that you are unworthy.

325

It is actually quite the opposite.

326

You are learning self-worth.

327

You are learning to love yourself.

328

You are learning to be comfortable with yourself.

329

You are learning to love yourself.

330

I'm telling you, learning how to be with yourself is a skill that will change everything for you.

331

It will change you.

332

You will radiate confidence.

333

You'll be the best version that you've ever been.

334

Like this is just a season and it is temporary because let me tell you,

335

after the season, you are about to grow and glow up like you've never seen before.

336

There are people who care even if it doesn't feel like it.

337

So when you're feeling lonely,

338

sometimes your brain like lies to you and it makes you feel like no one else around you cares,

339

that you're just invisible, that you don't matter,

340

that you're unworthy, that you're not chosen,

341

that no one wants you.

342

But that is just not the truth, okay?

343

Loneliness can quite literally just distort your perspective.

344

And a perfect example of this is actually back freshman year when I was 18 and I was struggling to make friends.

345

I was so lonely spending every single weekend alone.

346

It was actually one of the friday nights

347

that I spent alone in my dorm room and that night in particular I was over it.

348

I was like I cannot spend another friday night alone

349

So at the time my parents were not home They were in korea

350

and so I took a bus from new york to new jersey to my parents apartment

351

Because that's how lonely I was I would rather be alone

352

in my parents apartment in jersey than alone in my dorm room in NYU Well,

353

my older brother june who was also in college at the time He's two years older than me that day.

354

He decided to stop by my parents apartment I think to pick up something

355

and he opened the door thinking that no one was gonna be there right

356

because my parents were off in korea And he opens the door

357

and he just sees me sitting in the kitchen by myself He actually got scared when he saw me.

358

He's like what the heck lena?

359

What are you doing here?

360

And guys I broke down to him I was sobbing my

361

eyes out to him He's the first person I told like the truth

362

that I was struggling and I felt really lonely in college and I hated college And he didn't lecture me.

363

He didn't try to fix it He just like listened and my brother's not like an emotionally I don't know expressive person.

364

So he just sat there and listened to me,

365

which that was enough for me.

366

Even him listening.

367

I appreciated it.

368

And he just tells me grab your stuff.

369

We're going.

370

And I was like, what?

371

Like, where are we going?

372

He doesn't even answer me.

373

We get in his car and he drives me back to New York City.

374

I was like, bruh, this guy's driving me back to NYU where I was trying to escape from like my brother sucks.

375

And I thought he was driving me to NYU.

376

He actually ended up taking me to a restaurant.

377

And I remember it to this day because it's still one of my favorite restaurants to this day.

378

It's called Rosemary's here in New York City.

379

I've never eaten at such a nice restaurant in New York City before.

380

I was like so amazed.

381

That restaurant is gorgeous.

382

And he bought me a plate of pasta.

383

And thinking about it now as a grown adult,

384

I'm like, what my brother did for me was crazy because he was only 20 at the time.

385

He was only 20 years old.

386

He was not balling like that financially either.

387

But he took me out to eat, which I really appreciated.

388

Spent his Friday night with his little sister at this restaurant in New York City.

389

I'm looking at this gorgeous plate of pasta in front of me.

390

And he tells me, you think those girls at NYU are better than you because they can afford this $14 plate of pasta?

391

He's like, you have so much more to offer.

392

You go to the same school as them.

393

You need to see yourself as an equal and not shrink.

394

And that moment changed everything for me because what he said was facts and it was great advice.

395

But also I realized that just because you feel lonely doesn't mean that you're unloved.

396

A lot of times the people who do really care about you aren't showing up for you

397

because they don't know what you're going through.

398

So that's why if you feel this way right now,

399

reach out to your sister,

400

your friend, your mom, your cousin,

401

your childhood friend that you haven't spoken to since middle school, your therapist.

402

Okay, there is someone out there for everyone.

403

We are social creatures.

404

Okay.

405

We are not meant to be alone all the time with our own thoughts

406

And

407

if you're in a season of life where you genuinely don't have someone to reach out to you I'm here

408

and that's honestly why youtube has always been my favorite platform It feels like you are friends with the person

409

that you're watching That's how I feel with my favorite youtubers

410

And I hope that's the way that you guys feel with me

411

And if you're struggling with feeling lonely right now comment down below

412

because we have built a community of Amazing girlies who are just trying to be the best version of ourselves

413

and we are hype women.

414

Okay, we hype each other up So if you're feeling lonely right now,

415

I know that there's someone out there in our community that will comment back to you and help you feel less alone.

416

Listen to me when I say this.

417

You are loved.

418

You are important.

419

And you don't have to feel lonely.

420

I really hope this video helped you guys.

421

And if you're a real one,

422

follow your girl on Instagram and TikTok.

423

I post more content on there.

424

I love you guys so, so much.

425

And I hope to catch you in my next video.

426

Bye.

427

The Ups finally made from the G-Nine

TRENDING

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

☕ 커피 한 잔 사주기

ShadowingEnglish는 여러분의 지원 덕분에 100% 무료로 운영됩니다. 서버 및 AI 유지 비용이 많이 듭니다. 여러분의 커피 한 잔이 큰 힘이 됩니다! ��

PayPal로 기부하기

ShadowingEnglish.com – 영어 쉐도잉 연습

쉐도잉(Shadowing)으로 원어민처럼 영어를 말하세요. YouTube 영상을 한 문장씩 듣고 따라 말하며, 진짜 발음과 유창성을 키우세요. IELTS 학습자들이 선택한 방법.

쉐도잉 연습: Why Feeling Lonely Means Your Life Is About to Level Up - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

인기 동영상

맥락 및 배경

일상 대화를 위한 5가지 표현

단계별 섀도우잉 가이드

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉 연습: Why Feeling Lonely Means Your Life Is About to Level Up - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

앱 다운로드

맥락 및 배경

일상 대화를 위한 5가지 표현

단계별 섀도우잉 가이드

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법