Shadowing Practice: How to Establish Connection: Use Stories to Make your Presence Authentic - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Have you ever had a boss or a leader of a group that you were in?
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And this person, they said the right things, they did the right things, they were smart and capable, yet you still didn't feel pulled in by their leadership.
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You weren't motivated.
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Maybe you didn't even trust their leadership.
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Why is that?
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Most likely, it's a lack of connection.
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An essential element of presence is how you can connect to other people.
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We listen to people we connect with, people we relate to because we trust them.
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There are a lot of ways to build trust.
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We talked about eye contact, smiling, you can ask questions.
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But in this video, we're going to talk about how you can use stories to increase your connection.
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A true story often reveals a truth about someone, often a vulnerability that we're not perfect all the time.
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And someone who shares the truth is worth listening to.
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We're drawn in by it, and that's why it's a part of presence.
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I like this equation.
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Credibility plus openness equals connection.
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Take for example, the COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg.
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Now, she's a highly credible, respected person.
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She's very good at business.
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In this clip, we're going to watch her tell a story in her TED talk, and you'll see this equation in play.
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The saddest thing about all of this is that it's really hard to remember this, and I'm about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me, but I think important.
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I gave this talk at Facebook not so long ago to about 100 employees.
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And a couple hours later, there was a young woman who works there, sitting kind of outside my little desk, and she wanted to talk to me.
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And I said, okay, and she sat down and we talked, and she said, I learned something today.
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I learned that I need to keep my hand up.
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I said, what do you mean?
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She said, well, you're giving this talk, and then you said you're going to take two more questions, and I had my hand up with lots of other people, and then you took two more questions, two more questions and I put my hand down
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and I noticed all the women put their hand down and then you took more questions.
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Only from the men.
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And I thought to myself, wow, if it's me who cares about this obviously, giving this talk, during this talk,
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I can't even notice that the men's hands are still raised and the women's hands are still raised.
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How good are we as managers of our companies
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and our organizations at seeing that the men are reaching for opportunities more than women?
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We've got to get women to sit at the table.
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See what she did there?
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Instead of lecturing us and saying it's really hard and you have to pay attention, she shared a story about how as the spokesperson of this topic, she didn't realize that she was doing it herself.
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And she focuses on the ship, the lesson that she learns, because it revealed a vulnerability and it made us connect with her more.
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Brilliant.
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Okay, so what stories do you share?
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How about that time that you got really drunk and passed out at a party?
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No. You want to focus on stories that highlight qualities
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that you want people to know about or a time that you learned a lesson.
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This can be done when hiring a candidate.
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Instead of telling the candidate, oh I love working here, share a story with them that shows why you love working there.
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Maybe a time that your team solved a really complex problem and all came together.
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Who knows, that story might really resonate with the person that you're trying to hire.
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Interviewing.
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Instead of listing off a bunch of accomplishments, share a story that shows how you got interested in the field, why you're passionate about this,
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a story about a lesson that you learned in a past job or a project that you worked on.
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Mentoring.
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Share a story about a time you learned a lesson, something that you wish somebody would have told you when you were coming up the ranks.
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Presentations.
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Start off your presentation with a story.
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If you're going to talk about a solution, start off with the pain of the problem and then contrast that with the relief of the solution.
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Okay, so here's your homework for how create more connection.
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Think of one of the scenarios that I mentioned that you need a story for and start to brainstorm it.
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Write some notes about that story and then share it with a colleague or share it with a friend.
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Get some practice rehearsing your story in a low-stakes situation.
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Then you can take that story to your next high-stakes situation.
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I hope that you realize by now
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that presence is not one of those things that either you're born with or you're not.
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You can improve your presence.
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So try out these three things.
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Focus on your composure, on sending the right cues, and connection and I really think you're going to see a difference.
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Follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube for more tips on communication.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “How to Establish Connection: Use Stories to Make your Presence Authentic”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: share, connection, learned, questions, lesson. Deze video bevat 65 zinnen en 884 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 4:37. De spreker praat snel, ongeveer 192 woorden per minuut, dus reken op verbonden en ingeslikte klanken. 86% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| vulnerability zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/ | kwetsbaarheid, zwakke plek |
| equation zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɪˈkweɪ.ʒən/ | vergelijking |
| stake zelfstandig naamwoord | /steɪk/ | staak, paal |
| composure zelfstandig naamwoord | /kəmˈpoʊʒɚ/ | zelfbeheersing, kalmte |
| embarrass werkwoord | /ɪmˈbæɹəs/ | verlegen maken, in verlegenheid brengen |
| rehearse werkwoord | /ɹɪˈhɝs/ | herhalen |
| resonate werkwoord | /ˈɹɛz.əˌneɪt/ | resoneren |
| motivate werkwoord | /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/ | motiveren |
| spokesperson zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈspoʊksˌpɝsən/ | woordvoerder, woordvoerster |
| accomplishment zelfstandig naamwoord | /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/ | voltooiing |
| cue zelfstandig naamwoord | /kju/ | teken |
| credible bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈkɹɛdəbl̩/ | geloofwaardig |
| credibility zelfstandig naamwoord | /kɹɛd.əˈbɪ.ɫɪ.ti/ | geloofwaardigheid |
| mentor zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈmɛn.tɔː/ | mentor, leidsman |
| colleague zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈkɒliːɡ/ | collega, medewerker |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| hand down werkwoord | doorgeven, overleveren | |
| come together werkwoord | /ˈkʌm tʊˈɡɛðɚ/ | bijeenkomen, samenkomen |
| sit down werkwoord | gaan zitten | |
| try out werkwoord | uitproberen |
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | someone who shares · story which is · woman who works |
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | are still raised · can be done |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 20 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals you're, we're, didn't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: equation /ɪˈkweɪ.ʒən/, composure /kəmˈpoʊʒɚ/, accomplishment /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/, passionate /ˈpæʃənɪt/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: vulnerability /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/, accomplishment /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/, credibility /kɹɛd.əˈbɪ.ɫɪ.ti/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: embarrass /ɪmˈbæɹəs/, passionate /ˈpæʃənɪt/
- /w/ — met ronde lippen: equation /ɪˈkweɪ.ʒən/, homework /ˈhoʊmˌwɝk/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als vulnerability, equation, stake.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.