Shadowing Practice: you never lose, because it was never yours - Learn English Speaking with Video

For a very long time, I could not cope with the word loss.

I hated to lose something.

I hated to be a loser, whether that be literally something as small as I lost my favorite lip product or I lost a good friend.

So as I've gotten older, I've had to come to the realization that loss or being a loser is sometimes a part of life.

But then one day, I was like, wait a minute, I can't even control my breath I can't control my body

in regards of its health something could go wrong tomorrow

and all I can do is try my best to prevent

that from happening but ultimately I cannot control it so

if I don't own my own breath can I ever lose something

that was never mine to begin with because

if you think about it in order to lose something means it was in your possession

that you had full control over said object noun whatever it may be person place your thing

and that's not the case because if it was truly mine

and i was the owner i could never lose it meaning i never lose

because it was never mine and i love that because

that makes me never a loser but i will go ahead

and explain why the philosophy psychology and even my own religion islam

and a lot of theological religions point to this exact fact where you are not a loser

or more eloquently you can't lose because it was never yours

if you're new to my channel my name is sahar

or sahar and i am a professional yapper self -proclaimed philosopher

and i really just i am the thought daughter nothing is

ever not not deep everything is deep even the mere concept

of losing things anyway i digress let's get into this video starting off with the philosophy

and like most things every time i have a thought

and i look to philosophy i discover that it's been experienced

and evaluated way before my time and within

that i realize i will never be the creator of something new

but i will always have evidence to my creation it's all

about reframe anyway epictetus in his book in credian has a line

that was very radical at the time

that he dropped it essentially he says never say of anything i have lost it

but i have restored it has your child died it is

restored has your wife died she is restored has your estate been taken away is not this also restored and

if you notice this phrasing he doesn't say don't care he

says restore to epictetus the universe is a landlord like everything

you enjoy your partner your wealth your job even your health

is a temporary property handed to you basically as a loan

even buddhism actually has this exact same concept um called upadana

which is clinging or grasping um suffering doesn't happen

because things change suffering happens because things are constantly moving

and we are standing there screaming at the river to freeze

into solid ground impermanence isn't the interruption of life it is life

so if this idea is a thousand years old why does it hurt

so badly still i think humans evolve

but we never evolve in this aspect of things you know i mean

if something was discovered thousands of years ago we are able to build upon

that within science but for some reason within philosophy

it's never built upon within our own self -understanding

because we still go through the same struggles

and it's about going back to

that to understand them there's this thing called person illusion

and essentially within person illusion you fall in love

or you build a deep friendship so you think you have them

but people are not real estate they are not autonomous agents within your life

and there are trajectories that happen to intersect with yours

and for their life

and that's the reason why you guys are even in each other's worlds loving someone deeply

while recognizing you have no place in their future life is actually the purest form of affection

because regardless of if they exist within your world or

if they choose you back you still love them

and isn't the purest version of love what we all aim to be able to extend to another person

so why is it that whenever it's not that easily attainable

and love isn't easy we start to think that

that means we lost the person there's also this thing called opportunity illusion

so think about you spending six months pitching a project you

build the decks you rehearse the lines even imagine this great launch

and within this entire process you didn't just want the outcome

you colonize the entire concept of what it's going to feel

like what it's going to be like the person you are going to be in

that moment and the thing is whenever that opportunity or outcome goes to someone else, you actually just feel robbed now.

But you weren't robbed of a future, you're robbed of an assumption.

Meaning you did not lose a future opportunity, you lost an assumption that you made in your mind of what it would be like, what it's going to happen, how you're going to feel,

assuming the outcome is going to be in your favor.

Now I'm going to stop being preachy and tap into a little bit of reality, what the pessimist wants to hear,

or even self -proclaimed realist one really ear -leading pessimist um sometimes this can become a toxic habit

so within philosophy there's this thing called spiritual bypassing

and you can consider this the dark side of philosophy um it's a term coined by psychologist john wellwood

and it's when you use philosophical ideas to duck under the hard work of actual human emotion

so if you yell it was never mind the second something doesn't work your way

or breaks your heart you aren't being epictetus in that moment you are actually being just terrified.

It's essentially a self -protection mechanism where if nothing is yours then nothing can hurt you so you aren't trying anymore.

You don't pitch the ambitious project, you don't open up to your partner, you essentially keep one foot in and one foot out of everything

that could potentially have the power to hurt you just

so in the end you can sit back

and say you see it was never mine and that's not the right way to go about it okay.

That's ultimately not wisdom, that's emotional cowardice.

You see grief is the tax we pay for being brave enough to attach to things in a temporal universe.

If you don't feel the sting of the loss you never really honor the value of what you had.

Now for the psychology aspect of things there's a concept called psychological ownership theory.

Research has found that your brain doesn't differentiate very well between your physical arm and your intangible assets meaning your job title, your relationship status, subscriber count,

five -year plan, etc. So when you control something or you know it intimately or invest any effort into it,

your brain fuses it into your natural self -map and it becomes mine.

Meaning that when a person leaves or a contract falls through, your brain doesn't register it as an event.

It's literally seen as literal dismemberment, losing a body part.

So you aren't just missing an opportunity, you are now missing a part of your identity, a part of what makes you you

and again the phrase it was never mine isn't supposed to

make you care less it's designed to fix your accounting it's a tool to remind your brain

that you are mistaking a lease for a deed of ownership so

100

if the person wasn't yours the job wasn't yours the home

101

wasn't yours what is even ours well what do i own in this world that's the real question

102

because i'm tired of losing i don't want to lose what do i own

103

and the answer to

104

that is what's left is what's built inside of you the capacity to love

105

that you expanded while you were with them that is yours the discipline

106

and skill you developed while grinding for that failed venture

107

that is yours the integrity in which you handle that collapse

108

that is yours you can never lose that

109

so you don't lose you release what was borrowed

110

and you retain what was forged the external world can repossess the house it cannot repossess the character

111

that you built throughout the journey Even within Islam, I think the reason why this concept even really started going in my mind is

112

because we are very aware we don't even control our next breath.

113

I'm not in control of anything that I do in my life.

114

It's quite literally qadr.

115

It's up to Allah's will.

116

So then what can I control?

117

And I think

118

that is the ultimate question people ask whenever they try to

119

figure out what the point of us being on earth is

120

because if everything's written

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and we are already destined for certain things why am I

122

here what is the point of me going through things

123

if I have very little control

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and that's kind of what got me spiraling into like figuring out okay

125

so what what is the purpose what is the point what am I supposed to do here and that's

126

when I realized oh there are things in my control there

127

are things of how I can perceive loss there's ways

128

that I can show up whenever I'm sad

129

when I don't get the way I want there's ways I

130

can build discipline in order to make do ah to get the ways

131

that I want there's actually a lot in our control but

132

when we focus too much on the things

133

that are out of our control is where we feel lost

134

but remember you can never lose because it was never yours

135

but you can always win

136

if you focus on what is i need to find a way to make

137

that line cute on the other end

138

if you'd like to read more about this i wrote about my sub stack

139

but this is really just a short video to explain my life motto obviously borrowed from epictetus

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but i didn't know it when i created it

141

so maybe he maybe he knew I was gonna exist and wanted to borrow from me all right bye

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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Deze video bevat 141 zinnen en 1782 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 9:08. De spreker praat snel, ongeveer 195 woorden per minuut, dus reken op verbonden en ingeslikte klanken. 84% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:

Woord	Uitspraak	Betekenis
restore werkwoord	/ɹɪˈstoɹ/	restaureren, terugzetten
essentially bijwoord	/ɪˈsɛnʃəli/	essentieel
loser zelfstandig naamwoord	/luzɚ/	verliezer
rob werkwoord	/ɹɑb/	beroven, bestelen
breathe werkwoord	/bɹiːð/	ademen, ademhalen
borrow werkwoord	/ˈbɑɹ.oʊ/	lenen, ontlenen
illusion zelfstandig naamwoord	/ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/	illusie
suffer werkwoord	/ˈsʌfɚ/	lijden
pitch zelfstandig naamwoord	/pɪt͡ʃ/	worp
aspect zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈæspɛkt/	aspect
ownership zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈoʊnɚʃɪp/	eigendom
psychology zelfstandig naamwoord	/saɪˈkɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/	psychologie, zielkunde
phrase zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈfɹeɪ̯z/	uitspraak
discipline zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈdɪsəplɪn/	discipline, (zelf)beheersing
assumption zelfstandig naamwoord	/əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/	op zich nemen

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Woord	Betekenis
figure out werkwoord	uitvogelen, er achter komen
show up werkwoord	tentoonstellen

Grammatica in deze video

De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:

Structuur	In de video
Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet	been experienced · is restored · was discovered
Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt	I've gotten · have lost · have restored

Uitspraak om op te letten

De spreker gebruikt 41 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, doesn't, I'm. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.

De “th”-klanken: breathe /bɹiːð/, theological /θi.əˈlɑd͡ʒɪkl/
De klanken “sh” en “zh”: essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, illusion /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/, ownership /ˈoʊnɚʃɪp/, assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/
Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, psychology /saɪˈkɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, temporary /ˈtɛmp(əˌɹ)ɛɹi/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, mechanism /ˈmɛk.ə.nɪ.zəm/

Zo oefen je met deze video

Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als restore, essentially, loser.

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?

Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.

Shadowing-techniek: lees de volledige stap-voor-stap-gids →

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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Grammatica in deze video

Uitspraak om op te letten

Zo oefen je met deze video

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?