Shadowing Practice: 5 Simple Ways To Crush Negativity in Your Mind - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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If you're sick of beating yourself up, if you're sick of living in a negative place, or if you're just curious,
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like how do I use simple research -backed methods to actually make my mind work for me?
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Holy cow, are you in the right place?
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Because that's exactly what we're gonna talk about today.
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Five simple things that you can do to take control of your mind, let go of negative thoughts,
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and redirect all your mental energy toward happiness, success, and self -transformation.
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And so, you know, I always am very intentional about why I want to talk to you about certain things.
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And what inspired this conversation today is the conversation I had with my daughters.
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I mean, we always get on FaceTime, the three of us do, typically when one of us is getting ready or we're waking up in the morning.
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And we were on FaceTime the other day.
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And as I shared earlier, one of our daughters is 24.
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The other one is 25.
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One lives in New York.
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One lives in LA.
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I live in Southern Vermont.
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And so just like you do with the people you care about, we get on FaceTime all the time and we're yapping away.
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And all of a sudden, one of my daughters is like, I'm just in this negative place right now.
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It's like, nothing I do is enough.
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Everything that I put on my body doesn't look good.
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No matter how hard I'm working, I just am constantly trashing myself.
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And then my other daughter chimed in and I was horrified to hear
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that they were both kind of in this place where they're focused on the negative, where their thoughts are kind of turned back against them.
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And as we're having this conversation, it reminded me of a story that I've shared on this podcast and I've shared in some interviews that I've done.
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You know, I've been talking about the Let Them Theory book.
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And so you may have heard this story, but it's such an important and compelling story that it bears repeating.
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And so here's what happened.
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My 25 -year -old daughter Sawyer and I wrote the Let Them Theory book together.
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And on the press tour, a ton of people have asked me, what was it like to work on a project of that magnitude, writing and researching a book with one of your kids?
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And it was incredible.
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I mean, it was absolutely incredible for a number of reasons to not
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only get to know her in a completely different way because I'm her mother and she's my daughter.
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And so we have the mother -daughter dynamic.
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And we're very close, but we've always kind of had this friction.
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But having this project that we could both focus on
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and organize ourselves around was super cool because I got to experience her in a completely different way.
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And here's what happened.
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So when we first started working together, I asked her if she would simply just do this research project about the let them theory
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because we had done a podcast episode on it and there were all of these comments.
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It had gone crazy viral and really resonated with people around the world.
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So I was like, hey, Sawyer, would you just dig into the comments on this podcast episode
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and the things that you're seeing that people are saying online about the things
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that I've been sharing and then come back to me in a couple of weeks with an analysis of what you're seeing.
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And I expected this to take like two weeks.
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Now, mind you, I'm very different than my daughter, Sawyer.
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I mean, I've got like this crazy artistic ADHD brain and Sawyer thinks in Excel spreadsheets.
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Before working for me and working with me, she worked at a huge cyber security firm that is in 44 countries
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and was in like the digital marketing and marketing tech side of that business.
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And so here she is taking on this research project for me on the side
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and I'm expecting this thing to take two or three weeks.
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I'm expecting the result to be like a briefing that is gonna be a couple pages long.
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She hands me 36 hours later, a 27 page.
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Like, I don't even know how to describe the way this thing was organized.
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It was like columns with color -coded tabs
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and links to the source material
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and she had a two -page synopsis of her analysis of all of the sentiment online
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and she had identified all these things that needed further research.
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I mean, it was jaw -dropping.
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My brain just doesn't work like that.
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My brain is like letting a box full of mice loose in your kitchen.
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Everything scatters in different directions.
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This was a level of organization and mental horsepower that I actually didn't know
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she had.
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I just didn't understand that this was how her brain worked.
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And when I saw this work product from her generated in 36 hours,
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I was not only dumbfounded at just how intelligent she is and how differently her brain works, I had this heartbreaking realization.
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As I looked at the 27 pages, I thought to myself, oh my God, I now know why she's so hard on herself.
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Because if she doesn't have a project to aim this supercomputer at, she aims it at herself.
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And I just want that to sit in with you for a minute.
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that if you have this supercomputer, and you do, you have a supercomputer between your ears.
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It is designed to solve problems.
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It is designed to spot patterns.
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It is designed to learn new things.
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It is designed to keep you safe.
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It is designed to analyze things.
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It is designed to create and to connect and to constantly be growing.
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That's what your brain is doing.
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It's doing an incredible job because if you're listening to this
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and you're able to hear these words and absorb this information or you're watching me on YouTube right now, your supercomputer is engaged.
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It is processing information.
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It is filing it away in your brain.
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There are neural pathways connecting and firing and wiring together.
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Like it is doing its thing.
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It's keeping you breathing.
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It's keeping your body temperature in a certain place all while you're doing this.
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And that's just like a scratch of the surface of what
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that supercomputer is doing but I want you to really stop and consider what I'm saying.
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If you have this massive horsepower between your ears,
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which you do, and you're not aiming it at something like a big project or something that's important or something that's positive,
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it's true, isn't it?
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That your brain aims itself back at you.
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And when this happened with my daughter and I had this realization, it was as if I was meeting her for the first time.
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I finally understood her at a level that I had never understood her as her mother.
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And it even revealed a little bit about why I'm hard on myself.
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I mean, I just described my brain as working like taking a box of mice
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and letting it loose in your kitchen and everything scatters everywhere.
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But I have absolutely had those moments, and I know you have too, where you are so focused on something that you're enjoying.
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Like it might be something like gardening.
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It might be that you're a great video gamer.
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And so you get lost in the moment.
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It might be when you've played sports or you're playing a instrument, or it might be when you're out on a hike and you're just so hyper present.
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Why?
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You can get lost in the flow of focus because you're in the present moment,
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because your supercomputer in your mind is aimed at something outside of you.
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But isn't it true that in those moments where you feel consumed with negativity
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or you're beating yourself up or you're constantly telling yourself it's never enough
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or you're seeing nothing but the negative when you look in the mirror,
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you've just taken all that horsepower that is designed to create and laugh and grow and solve problems, and you just aimed it right at you.
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And so it got me thinking, if you have a brain that is designed to do all these incredible things,
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solve problems, grow, learn, laugh, create, be present, build, like all these amazing things,
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how is it that you and I can take that truth?
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Because I think you're with me.
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I can kind of feel you with me like, oh my God, I've never thought about it that way.
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It's true, Mel.
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Like if I'm engaged in something, I'm not beating myself up.
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If I'm working on a project that I'm truly focused on, I don't have time to trash my appearance.
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Huh, never thought about it that way, that this supercomputer can be used for good.
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And if I'm not using it for good, holy cow, it feels kind of bad because it just aims it right back at me.
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And just in case, before I move on to these five simple things, because what I'm going to do is I'm going to teach you today.
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It took me far too long to learn this.
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I wish they taught this in schools.
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I wish they taught this in elementary school.
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That's how simple I'm going to make the science today.
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There are five simple things that you can do, and you can start doing them as I'm explaining them to you.
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You can do these things as soon as this episode is over.
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These are so simple that you can make them part of your day -to -day life.
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These are ways for you to take control of your mind, that supercomputer in your brain.
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These are ways for you to let go of the negative thoughts, which is really what happens when your brain directs itself back at you, right?
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And third, we're going to talk about how do you redirect
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that power of your mind and aim it at something that energizes you?
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How do you take all that mental energy and instead of aiming it at yourself?
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you actually aim it at something that creates happiness and success and more positivity and self -transformation.
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That's what's available to you.
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And I didn't understand any of this until several years ago.
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And so the second I'm done recording this, I'm sharing this with my two daughters.
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And before we jump into the first skill, okay, and I've already kind of alluded to it, but before we jump into the first skill,
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I want to bring in one more visual example
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because I personally find that whenever you talk about the mind or thinking or mindset,
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it so quickly becomes fuzzy and too intellectual and too conceptual
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that I lose interest and I don't know what the hell people are talking about.
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So I like things that are visual because it helps my brain, the little mice that are running around to just anchor on something.
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So we've already talked about the supercomputer and the fact
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that you've got this brain between your ears that is designed to learn patterns.
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It's designed to grow.
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It's designed to fire and wire information together and program it in your mind.
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It's designed to filter the world.
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It's actually designed to help you get more of what you want.
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And we're going to talk more about that in a little bit.
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And that's a cool thing.
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Have you ever in your life had the chance to spend time with like a golden retriever or a Labrador?
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You know, one of these dogs that from the moment they come into this world as a puppy.
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There is something hardwired in their DNA to just fetch.
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You throw a ball and you don't even have to train a Labrador
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or a golden retriever or some of these other kind of hunting breeds, I guess they call them.
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They will just go right after that ball that you throw, bring it right back.
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You throw it again, they bring it right back.
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It's like they are programmed to chase down a ball that you throw.
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They are programmed to chase it down and to retrieve.
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Guess what?
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Your brain is designed to do the exact same thing.
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I'm going to say that again.
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Your brain is like a Labrador retriever or a golden retriever.
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It is hardwired to actually chase down something that you direct it at.
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And so I love this visual because the first thing
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that I'm going to talk about today of the five things
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that I'm going to teach you is one of the things
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that helps you get out of that negative rut where your brain is aimed at you and you start trashing yourself down,
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right, is to actually give your brain something to chase down and focus on.
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Think about it like you need a project or think about like the project is the ball.
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So with a dog that loves to chase a ball, you take that ball, you throw it in whatever direction, that dog forgets that you exist.
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That dog is maniacally focused on that ball.
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That dog will literally run over a child in order to get the ball, get the ball, get the ball, because it's hardwired to focus on that, and then it brings it back.
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Your brain does the same thing.
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Your brain is just sitting around like a bored laborator waiting for you to pick up a ball
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and put it in motion, waiting for you to throw something out into the future and say, go get it.
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Your brain loves projects.
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You know this.
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It wants something to gnaw on.
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It is bored.
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Like, have you ever noticed too, like if you got a dog that needs a job, if it doesn't have a job, what does it do?
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It chews your slippers.
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It starts gnawing on the corners of your cabinets.
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Next thing you know, it's naughty and it's peeing in the corner.
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Why?
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Why?
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Because it's got all this mental energy and this desire to have a project
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and to chase down a ball and you're not feeding that desire.
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Your brain's the same way.
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It needs a job.
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And that brings me to skill number one.
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One of the best things that you can do is understand
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that giving yourself a project or a goal or some sort of ball that you can put in play in your life,
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it is one of the best ways to direct your brain
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at something other than you it's one of the best ways to start to leverage the natural capacity
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that your mind has to solve problems and to actually chase something down
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and this isn't just my suggestion this comes from not only research
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that i'm going to walk you through but it comes from something
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that world -renowned phd new york Times bestselling author Martha Beck has been talking about.
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And you may have seen her talking about this.
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It's the basis of her new book.
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And there's so much research that I'm also going to share with you after you hear this clip.
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But you're going to hear Martha Beck talking about the fact that, you know, when you're in an anxious state or you're ruminating, we now know in the way that you and I are talking about this,
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the supercomputer is now aimed at you.
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You're up in your head.
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Instead of like being focused on the world and solving problems, you're now tearing yourself down, you've made yourself a problem, right?
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The other way you can think about this is
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that Labrador Retriever is chewing on the slipper and being self -destructive because it's got nothing to do.
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She had this thesis in this book.
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Well, if you're in that state, being anxious and negative, it shuts down your ability to problem solve.
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We know this based on the research.
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We also know it based on common sense.
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It shuts down your ability to be creative.
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Well, she thought, well, wait a minute.
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does creativity and problem solving actually shut down anxiety and rumination
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and being negative turns out it does and
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so here's martha beck sharing this idea on the today show
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and the idea is so exciting and it's also so simple
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and obvious to understand that you're going to hear martha talking first
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and then you're going to hear the today show anchors jump in
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because they totally get it
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and then what we're going to do after you listen to this is you
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and i are going to unpack what she said so that you can apply this first skill.
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Take a listen.
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And when we've known forever that anxiety shuts down creativity.
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So I started thinking, what if it works the other way too?
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What if creativity shuts down anxiety?
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Oh, that's interesting.
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So if you, like if I take a client and I do something very simple, like plan a meal for tomorrow.
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Right.
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So say you're having a dinner party, start planning.
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Right.
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Right now.
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Get your brain start to think of I'm going to do steak on the Traeger grill
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and I'm going to serve it with this
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and what would go good with that now i'm thinking in a different pattern you're
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and your anxiety is quiet and it does did
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that work just now it does work it works like
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that yeah same thing with knitting or with your hands
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or where you're figuring something out absolutely and so it's anything creative
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that you should be you should start doing yeah
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and people say i'm not creative i'm not creative right that's
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still in the anxiety part just make something you love try using your hands your senses cook garden
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if you like to draw or paint or do
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that do whatever just stop and consider what she's saying it's true isn't it
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that when you're idle your thoughts turn negative when you've got nothing
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that you're focused on the supercomputer focuses on you and
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because it's a problem solving machine it typically is looking for problems
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and then it turns you into one and so i love what martha Rebecca is saying, because she's basically saying, anytime you're worried,
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anytime you're negative, it's a sign that your mind is now turning you into a problem.
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And we can change this by picking up a ball and in her language, by doing something creative with your hands.
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She talked about how, like, just start planning the meal for tonight, open up a cookbook and start flipping through it.
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And now what are you doing?
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You've thrown a ball.
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Your mind is now focused on solving the problem.
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The problem is no longer you.
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The problem is what are we going to create for dinner?
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It's a simple idea that has so much research in it.
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In fact, I want you to hear this research because it's not just about creativity.
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It's about the power of having a project that you can aim your mind at.
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This is this revelation that I had about my daughter that, oh my God, Like, she's got so much horsepower upstairs and so do you that if you're not aiming it at something,
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it's going to come back at you.
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And I want to share some of this research with you because it's actually very exciting about simply having a project.
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And it could be a project like, I've got a project this weekend that I know that I'm going to get lost in.
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And that is now that my husband and I are empty nesters, it's time for me to go through the closets in the bedroom upstairs
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and donate what is just being used as long -term storage by our adult children, right?
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and just kind of reclaim the space.
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That's a project that will keep my mind occupied, which will keep me from turning it against myself and ruminating.
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And the research bears this out.
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Check this out.
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Simply having a project, according to research done at the University of Exeter, turns down negative self -talk.
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What's so interesting about this is that they found in this research study
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that when you have a project and you start chipping away at it, I walk upstairs, I open up the closet, I start sorting through what's in there,
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that the small steps literally rewire your brain away from rumination.
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It makes so much sense when you realize, well, that's because I am focusing my brain on something.
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I'm putting a ball in play instead of having it aim it at me.
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and when you don't have a project you feel like you're not making progress towards anything
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which means you have more negative emotions so it works in the positive
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and the negative and i think you can kind of see
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that when you're not really working on anything you got an idle mind
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and that's not going to come to a lot of good here's another research study from the university of michigan
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and the University of Oxford.
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This one was published in a journal called Neuron.
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Having a project also boosts happiness.
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because having something to focus on actually increases dopamine,
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which we know is kind of this neurochemical that gets released in your mind that is all about drive, and it helps you focus.
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And your brain is going to release dopamine, not when you clean out the closet, not when you finish writing the song, not when you finish paying your bills,
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not when dinner is finished cooking, but rather as you're working toward it.
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How cool is that?
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And it kind of makes sense, Because if you take as fact that your brain's a supercomputer that wants to solve problems, that wants to engage in something,
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that wants to build and design and create and have a project to focus on, when you provide that to the supercomputer between your ears,
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your supercomputer is a little happier because it's able to chase a ball.
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It's able to do what it's designed to do.
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Here's another study from Pennsylvania University that having a project to focus your brain power on,
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strengthens your overall mental health.
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Goals give you direction and purpose.
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Goals help you navigate challenges because it actually gives your mind something to focus on,
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which helps you build resilience against stress and emotional struggles.
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And you know what's interesting about that is
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that I know based on what I'm seeing in the inbox
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as your fellow listeners are writing in from around the world that you're experiencing just unprecedented levels of stress.
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And we know that based on the medical experts that we talk to on this show all the time, that the levels of chronic stress that people are experiencing are at unprecedented levels
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and it would have never occurred to me
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that one of the ways for you to not allow the
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stress to put you in an even more negative state would
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be to have a project something like a painting to do
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or a closet to clean out or like some sort of something
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that you're working on because that means
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that even in a stressed out state you have something that you can aim your brain at so that your tired, stressed out brain doesn't start turning you into an even bigger problem.
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I just love this research.
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So number one, what you're learning is that in order to take control of your mind, in order to let go of negative thoughts,
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in order to redirect your energy toward happiness, success, and self -transformation, skill number one is put a ball in play.
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Find a project.
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And if you can make it creative, if you can use your hands, even better because when you focus that supercomputer in your brain on something outside of you,
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it is happy and it's excited and it's now engaged
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and that's going to leave you with space that is going to feel better for you.
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So that's skill number one.
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What do you do when it feels like your mind has actually turned against you?
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There's two reasons why I want to talk to you about this today.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “5 Simple Ways To Crush Negativity in Your Mind”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: brain, project, ball, negative. This video has 317 sentences and 4082 words to shadow. The speech runs for 23:04. The speaker talks at a natural 177 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| solve verb | /sɒlv/ | To find an answer or solution to a problem or question; to work out. |
| chase verb | /t͡ʃeɪs/ | To follow at speed. |
| skill noun | /skɪl/ | A capacity to do something well; a technique, an ability, usually acquired or learned, as opposed to abilities that are regarded as innate. |
| anxiety noun | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | An unpleasant state of mental uneasiness, nervousness, apprehension and obsession or concern about some uncertain event. |
| happiness noun | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | The emotion of being happy; joy; elation. |
| ear noun | /ˈɪə̯/ | The organ of hearing, consisting of the pinna or auricle, auditory canal, eardrum, malleus, incus, stapes and cochlea. |
| engage verb | /ɪnˈɡeɪd͡ʒ/ | To engross or hold the attention of; to keep busy or occupied. |
| closet noun | /ˈklɑzɪt/ | A small room within a house used to store clothing, food, or other household supplies. |
| creativity noun | /kri.eɪˈtɪv.ᵻ.ti/ | The ability to use imagination to produce a novel idea or product. |
| trash noun | /tɹæʃ/ | Useless physical things to be discarded; rubbish; refuse. |
| mouse noun | /maʊs/ | Any mammal of the many rodent families (especially Muridae) that have a small body and a long tail. |
| transformation noun | /ˌtɹæns.fɔɹˈmeɪ.ʃən/ | The act of transforming or the state of being transformed. |
| podcast noun | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | A program, especially an audio program, produced on a regular basis, delivered over the Internet in a compressed digital format and designed for playback on… |
| upstairs adverb | /ˌʌpˈstɛɹz/ | Up the stairs; on or to a higher floor or level. |
| meal noun | /ˈmiːl/ | Food that is prepared and eaten, usually at a specific time, and usually in a comparatively large quantity. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| shut down verb | To close, terminate, or end; to stop operating, either permanently or temporarily. |
| clean out verb | To clean, especially to tidy by removing the contents. |
| open up verb | To open. |
| pick up verb | To lift; to grasp and raise. |
| stress out verb | To become stressed. |
| flip through verb | Synonym of thumb (“to turn the pages of (a book) in order to read it cursorily”). |
| get out of verb | To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of. |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Holy cow, are you in the right place?
- Because that's exactly what we're gonna talk about today.
- It's like, nothing I do is enough.
- My brain just doesn't work like that.
- That's what your brain is doing.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | I've been talking · I've been sharing · has been talking |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've shared · have asked · you've played |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was horrified · was organized · was not only dumbfounded |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | thoughts, which is · occupied, which will |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 121 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, I've. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: breathe /bɹiːð/, thesis /ˈθisɪs/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/, pathway /ˈpæθˌweɪ/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: trash /tɹæʃ/, transformation /ˌtɹæns.fɔɹˈmeɪ.ʃən/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/, suggestion /səˈd͡ʒɛst.ʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, creativity /kri.eɪˈtɪv.ᵻ.ti/, transformation /ˌtɹæns.fɔɹˈmeɪ.ʃən/, unprecedented /ʌnˈpɹɛsɪdɛntɪd/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like solve, chase, skill.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.