Shadowing Practice: Mel Robbins Shares Her Rock Bottom Moment - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Can we talk for a moment about how we begin to process the barrage of negative news and
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everything that shows up on our phones?
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And I think it's really overwhelming to a lot of people and creating anxiety for people.
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I know I've just shut it down.
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So how do we start doing this for ourselves?
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Like, is there a certain amount of time every day we should put the phone down?
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So there's a difference between being informed and inundated.
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And if there's something really important happening in the world, people will be talking about it.
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So you do not need to be checking the news. That is the truth.
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And right now - I'm going to hear it from Gail eventually.
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Yes.
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No, but I mean it.
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Like watching Gail is one thing.
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Yeah.
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Reading the headlines on your phone is a totally different game.
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Yeah.
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Because those headlines are written as a way to bait you to stay online more.
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Why?
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That's right.
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Because they make money when you stay online.
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The headlines are baited to get you to go to read the whole story.
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Correct.
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And you become so distracted.
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Yes.
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And also, the more you stay online, the more money platforms make.
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So they're incented to write scary headlines because it entices you to click because of something called the curiosity gap.
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So it is critical that you understand that the phone and the internet is a tool, but you've become the tool.
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And if you don't have boundaries with your phone, and I'm only gonna give you one of them.
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Yeah.
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Because most people won't listen to this anyway.
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And then they're gonna complain about how stressed out and overwhelmed they are.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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The number one tool is this.
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Don't you ever, ever, ever sleep with your phone.
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You have to put your phone in the bathroom.
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And the reason is simple.
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I'm not even gonna talk about all the studies about how
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the phone in the room simply next to you interrupts your sleep.
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I'm going to talk about something that happens when you wake up.
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So the phone's next to you, right?
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And you're lying in bed.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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So, you know, the alarm goes off.
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And you pick up the phone.
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And here you are.
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Yeah.
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You aren't even vertical yet.
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And you have just allowed the world news
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and a thousand strangers on Instagram to walk into your bedroom you're checking emails
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and text messages and you wonder why you're stressed out
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and exhausted you're not even out of bed
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and you have put all this other stuff in your brain
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which means you are now the last thing on the list
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and if you lay there and start scrolling
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and it activates your stress response it absolutely takes longer to get out of bed correct
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and anxiety is higher for people in the morning, Oprah.
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And there are scientific reasons why this is true.
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And by the way, I also wanna share something
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because I think it's important to know that if you grew up in a traumatic household or you experienced abuse,
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poverty, bigotry, racism when you were little, you had a chaotic experience,
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you would wake up in the house and you didn't know what was gonna happen and you're going into a school.
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As you know, because of the work that you've done with Dr. Bruce Perry, this is stored trauma.
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So if you're waking up in the morning and the first thing you experience is anxiety, it is a sign of stored trauma.
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That's why a lot of people have anxiety first thing in the morning.
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It's stored trauma.
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Yes, yes.
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And laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, this was my rock bottom moment.
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When I was 41 years old, my husband and I found ourselves $800 ,000 in debt.
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And I lost my job we had three kids under the age of 10 and I could not get out of bed.
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The alarm would ring and it was like the anxiety was a gravity blanket.
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I would lay there like a human pot roast marinating in my problems, my fears, like, how are we gonna get out of this?
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And I'd start thinking about it, meaning I'm ruminating now.
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This is how the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 theory came about.
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Yes.
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And so one night I got this idea.
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It's divine intervention.
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I was giving myself a pep talk.
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I don't know if you've ever gotten to a point in your life where things are really so low, you're talking to yourself out loud.
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Yes.
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I mean, that's a low moment. That is.
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And I'm like, that's it, Mel.
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It's an arm warning, woman.
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It's a new you.
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You know, you gotta stop drinking so much.
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You gotta stop screaming at your husband.
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You gotta call your parents.
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You gotta get a job.
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You gotta get these kids on the bus.
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And by God, woman, when that alarm rings, you have got to get out of bed.
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You cannot hit that snooze button six times.
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And at that moment, a rocket ship launched across the television screen.
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And I was like, it's a sign from God.
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Five, four, three, two, one, go.
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When that alarm rings, you're going to move so fast, you're not going to be in that bed when that anxiety hits.
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And that very next morning, it was a Tuesday in February in 2008, outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
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Your one decision from a different life.
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And the decision that changed my life was the decision to get out of bed that morning.
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Wow.
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And there is this moment of hesitation.
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It's this window of time, Oprah, where you have this thought, right?
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Where you know what you should or could do.
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and you stop and you think about whether or not you want to.
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And it's in this five -second window of thinking,
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you go up about what you want to do and whether or not you feel like doing it.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I don't want to, how's this going to help?
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This is where anxiety comes in.
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This is where all the stress comes, this is where procrastination comes in.
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And so that morning, I remembered the rocket launch, but I stopped and I started to think.
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And this moment of hesitation opens up
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And I felt myself reaching for the snooze button like I had done so many mornings
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because I was in this anxiety cycle, which makes you avoid things.
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It makes you run away from things.
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Was this before or after the TED Talk where you had a panic attack?
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Oh, it was way before.
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This is what led to it.
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Yeah.
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So I literally felt myself going, how's this gonna help?
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I made $100 ,000 in debt.
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I don't feel like getting up.
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I'm so anxious.
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How's this?
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And then I went five, four, three, two, one, and I stood up. and something interesting happened.
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When you move, you move from here to here. From here to here.
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You stop thinking and you do.
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Yeah.
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And the action overrides the swirling thoughts and sensation and reconnects you with your power.
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And that was the beginning of an entirely new life.
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It was how I started to cure my anxiety and heal it
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and stop responding to uncertainty by doubting my capacity and capability to deal with it.
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And anybody can develop this skill
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where you find yourself in a moment where you hesitate
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and you start to doubt yourself and you start to feel anxious and you just go five,
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four, three, two, one and you push through it and you take the next right step.
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And that first step is counting backwards.
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And what I know now, because this is spread around the world, it is used in clinical settings.
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It's incredible for OCD and PTSD.
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I know of over a thousand people have stopped themselves from committing suicide.
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Wow.
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Because they counted five, four, three, two, one in that moment after they hesitated.
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And also what you shared with us today to be able to...
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Put your hand on the heart and you can lay in bed if you feel yourself swirling and go,
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I'm okay, I'm safe, I'm loved, and I'm capable.
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Five, four, three, two, one.
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Let's go.
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Let's go and the action proves that you are.
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The action quiets the mind.
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The action aligns the emotion in your body with forward momentum.
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And just like a domino, that first one that tips can tip the second one, but those two then can tip something 10 times its size.
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And move you in a different direction.
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Correct.
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Absolutely.
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And so I counted five, four, three, two, one all day long, every day.
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And it became a tool to help me push through those moments of anxiety.
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Procrastination.
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Correct.
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Yes.
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Correct.
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And that's what turned my life around.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “Mel Robbins Shares Her Rock Bottom Moment”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: anxiety, bed, moment. This video has 160 sentences and 1492 words to shadow. The speech runs for 8:26. The speaker talks at a natural 177 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| anxiety noun | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | An unpleasant state of mental uneasiness, nervousness, apprehension and obsession or concern about some uncertain event. |
| alarm noun | /əˈlɑɹm/ | A summons to arms, as on the approach of an enemy. |
| headline noun | /ˈhɛd.laɪn/ | The heading or title of a magazine or newspaper article. |
| trauma noun | /ˈtɹɔm.ə/ | Any injury to the body of a living thing. |
| rocket noun | /ˈɹɑk.ɪt/ | A cylindrical projectile that can be fired to a great height through combustion, (specifically) a type of firework of this form, typically exploding with light… |
| anxious adjective | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | Nervous and worried. |
| distress noun | /dɪˈstɹɛs/ | Physical or emotional discomfort, suffering, or alarm, particularly of a more acute nature. |
| bait noun | /beɪt/ | Any substance, especially food, used in catching fish, or other animals, by alluring them to a hook, snare, trap, or net. |
| hesitate verb | /ˈhɛz.ə.teɪt/ | To stop or pause respecting decision or action; to be in suspense or uncertainty as to a determination. |
| hesitation noun | /ˌhɛzɪˈteɪʃən/ | An act of hesitating |
| household adjective | /ˈhaʊshoʊld/ | Belonging to the same house and family. |
| bedroom noun | /ˈbɛdˌɹum/ | A room in a house, apartment, hotel, or other dwelling where a bed is kept for sleeping. |
| poverty noun | /ˈpɑːvɚti/ | The quality or state of being poor; lack of money |
| skill noun | /skɪl/ | A capacity to do something well; a technique, an ability, usually acquired or learned, as opposed to abilities that are regarded as innate. |
| scary adjective | /ˈskɛə.ɹi/ | Causing fear or anxiety |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| get out of verb | To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of. |
| push through verb | To force (legislation or a plan) to be passed or agreed to or a decision to be reached. |
| stress out verb | To become stressed. |
| get up verb | To move in an upward direction; to ascend or climb. |
| go off verb | To explode. |
| open up verb | To open. |
| pick up verb | To lift; to grasp and raise. |
| run away from verb | To avoid or shirk a problem or consequences; to rush to back away from or disclaim responsibility for something. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- I know I've just shut it down.
- Don't you ever, ever, ever sleep with your phone.
- You aren't even vertical yet.
- I mean, that's a low moment.
- I don't want to, how's this going to help?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've just shut · you've become · have just allowed |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | being informed · are written · are baited |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 47 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you're, gonna. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, hesitation /ˌhɛzɪˈteɪʃən/, intervention /ɪntɚˈvɛnʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, sensation /sɛnˈseɪʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, hesitation /ˌhɛzɪˈteɪʃən/, intervention /ɪntɚˈvɛnʃən/, capability /ˌkeɪ.pəˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/, momentum /ˌmə(ʊ)ˈmɛntəm/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like anxiety, alarm, headline.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.