Shadowing Practice: How to Make Yourself Attractive to Anything You Want - Learn English Speaking with Video

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What I would say to you is it sounds like you've worked a lot on yourself and you're ready.

Boss, there's no free lunch.

If you want to make real money, if you want to hang out with someone higher character than you and better looking than you,

quite frankly, get ready to eat shit because it involves rejection over and over and over.

Nothing wonderful will happen to you without taking an uncomfortable risk.

So let's bring in more of the men in our audience.

Let's take a look at this video that Brandon posted on Instagram.

I don't know if I'll ever say be a husband or a father

and that really really hurts me because that's all I've wanted since I was a kid

and it eats at you and you wonder if you're ever going to get what everyone else has if you're good enough,

if you deserve it if it's

something that's meant for you and I've had to come to terms with maybe it's not

and while that brings tears to my eyes and makes me as sad as someone could be

you just got to trust God's plan

but I can still dream

Brandon why do you think you feel that way what's behind it I've struggled with that alone feeling my entire life.

I got to live my dream job as a sports reporter on TV, and people would see me on NFL sidelines interviewing the biggest stars, but behind the scenes, I was struggling with that alone feeling.

I thought I met my wife, a woman I was going to have kids with, and unfortunately, it was a really toxic relationship and breakup, and it put me at a spot where I was suicidal and didn't want to live anymore,

and so I had to check into a hospital, get help, and I realized for the first time that I wasn't alone, and I took that moment, and I decided to, similar to what you're doing,

be hopefully a vulnerable man that can help others.

And so I created the mental game where I interview athletes and celebrities like Terry Crews, Nate Burleson, Kevin Gates, these men who you think might not have any problems in the world.

And they struggle with the same things as me and other men in this room.

And I also go all over the country and try to speak.

We've been to 46 states, spoken to over 250 ,000 kids, adults, men, women, just trying to show that, look, it's okay to be alone and to be vulnerable as men,

but you have to show those emotions.

You know, I watched my dad my entire life, hold it all in.

And it wasn't until the night that I called him and said, hey, I'm going to take my own life that we ever talked about mental health.

So is all that talking and speaking about it, has it helped you resolve your own?

Yeah.

I mean, I was emotional watching that video.

We locked eyes as soon as it started playing because I posted that three weeks ago on a Friday night, not thinking it would do anything.

And it had 5 million views when I woke up because I think a lot of other men felt just like me.

So it is like therapy.

I go to therapy.

I spent two weeks in the hospital.

This has become my purpose to help myself and others.

But I think what I've learned traveling the country

and working with these athletes and celebrities and just anyone that's struggling with their mental health, specifically men, there's a lot of us feel the same way as I did in that video.

And that's why it went viral.

But we're scared of what our peers, other men in the room, women will think of us.

I mean, I gave up on dating.

I want to get married.

I want to have kids one day.

But since I lost who who I thought was gonna be my wife and the mother to my children, I kind of put all that energy in me.

And so I'm not on dating apps, I don't, the rejection thing, that's the biggest thing I'm scared of.

I would never go up to someone at a bar and say, hey, you're beautiful, let me buy you a cup of coffee.

I don't drink anymore, I'm sober, I struggle with addiction.

In my younger days in college, I'm cool, all right, you get no, great, go to the next one.

Now as being someone that's 32.

So what Scott said here earlier about rejection, how did that land with you?

I mean, it hit hard because like, it's funny, my professional life, I took all of the risk I could possibly do, leaving a job as an NFL reporter and starting my own thing.

Personal life, I have no interest in that, just because of that fear.

And so rather than risk that, I'd rather pour that energy into myself, going to the gym, working on my business, working on my mental health.

I think loving yourself, I didn't love myself until like a year and a half ago.

And it took me a long time to get to that point.

Okay.

What's your question for Scott?

I think for me, it bounces off that of how can you balance loving yourself, but also trying to find that person to love.

I feel like for the first time, like I said, I do love myself and I'm ready to date.

I want to get married one day and be a father and have kids.

But it's like, how do you balance the two?

Can you do both at the same time?

So I just feel like I need to disclose I have no domain expertise or training in psychiatry.

And so when you talk about mental health issues, I can talk to you about my own mental health issues,

but I don't ever want to supplant the notion that you should talk to professionals and get real advice.

I'm speaking to you as someone who's been through a lot of what you've been through, but my advice is anecdotal.

So just that asterisk.

I coach a lot of young men, and I have enough respect for you not to PG -13 or whitewash my content.

When men usually say, young men, the young men I work with, usually want to move out of their parents' house.

They want to start making some money, and then ultimately what they end up is, like, when they start trusting me, I'd really like a girlfriend.

And I go through a series of exercises, and the first thing I ask them is, like, would you have sex with you?

What do you look like?

Do you take your appearance seriously?

Do you have a plan?

Do you have a kindness practice?

How do you demonstrate excellence?

Right?

The basis of evolution.

I love the way you talk about, you emphasize kindness so much in notes on being a man.

There are three reasons women are attracted to men sexually.

And there's a ton of research here.

Number one, and we don't like to talk about this, is the man's ability to signal resources.

All right?

We don't like to admit that.

It's important.

Number two is intellect.

Because instinctively, people who make good decisions for the tribe, the tribe lives longer

so women are drawn to intellect the fastest way to communicate an intellect is humor

and just so i can offend everybody it's a joke

but we can be funny about this this is my impersonation of a woman i'm laughing i'm laughing i'm naked

if you can make a woman laugh the only dates i ever got with people i can make laugh

if you can make a woman laugh she will likely have a coffee with you

and then the third thing

and this is the most under leveraged secret weapon in mating kindness

because women instinctively know there might be periods in their life through gestation

or because they are smaller physically that they need someone who baseline is kind right

so a kindness practice i i'm not proud of you say

you were not always kind i'm not proud of this i was not born with the kindness gene

and when i had kids i realized that they were gonna model me, so I believe, like anything, you can develop a practice.

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And every day, I tried to do something that demonstrated some sort of generosity towards someone with no reciprocal expectation.

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When did you realize you were not a kind person?

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Professionally, when I realized that I could have been so much nicer, I could have.

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Were you unkind?

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Were you an asshole?

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Never mean, never unkind, but what you realize is that you have, everyone has capital.

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When you're young, you have more time than money.

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When you're older, you have some money.

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I got some early success.

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I would have been so easy for me to lift young people up.

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I was never mean, but it would have been so easy for me to say, you were just outstanding in that meeting.

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Or I've been watching you.

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I think you're going to do great.

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This is where I think you could improve.

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It's so easy.

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And you don't have to be a baller.

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I now stop.

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I saw an old couple.

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I'm virtue signaling right now, but it's true.

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I saw an old couple on the street.

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They looked amazing.

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It was one of those New York couples.

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And I stopped them and I said, you guys just look amazing.

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And I could tell it made them feel good and it made me feel better about myself.

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And now after doing this for 20 years, it's common practice.

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But these are basic reasons why women are drawn to men.

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What I would say to you is it sounds like you've worked a lot on yourself and you're ready.

127

Boss, there's no free lunch.

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If you wanna make real money, if you wanna hang out with someone higher character than you and better looking than you,

129

quite frankly, get ready to eat shit because it involves rejection over and over and over.

130

Nothing wonderful will happen to you without taking an uncomfortable risk.

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And a lot of it is just practice.

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Get used to know.

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And when I tell these men I mentor, church group, sports league, whatever it might be, and then you got to express friendship or romantic interest.

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And this is what's going to happen.

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You're probably going to get to know and then you're going to call me the next day.

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I'm going to say, are you all right?

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And that person's going to say, yes.

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I'm going to say, okay, and now the next time it's two approaches.

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You just gotta build some calluses.

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There's no easy way around it.

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No is the path to wonderful yeses.

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Got that, Brandon?

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I got it.

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I'm gonna try my best.

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Thank you, Brandon.

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The humor part helps.

147

Thank you.

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I applaud you, Brandon, too, for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable on that tape.

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That's why you got 5 million responses, because people respond to your heart.

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Why This Video Is Perfect for English Speaking Practice

This video’s raw, conversational tone makes it ideal for IELTS speaking practice and improving real-world communication. The dialogue flows naturally, with pauses, emotional inflections, and colloquial phrases that mirror everyday speech—key elements often tested in language exams. Whether you’re working on fluency or understanding nuanced expressions, the mix of personal stories and Q&A format provides diverse material to shadow speak and mimic, helping you sound more like a native.

Breaking Down Natural English Phrases

Let’s look at 3 phrases that showcase authentic speech:

“Get ready to eat shit”: A blunt, informal expression meaning “face hard challenges.” Native speakers use such vivid language in casual settings, so practicing it helps with conversational fluency.
“It eats at you”: This metaphor for persistent worry is common in emotional contexts. Notice the stress on “eats” to convey intensity—critical for accurate pronunciation.
“Hold it all in”: A phrasal verb describing suppressing emotions. Mastering these short, impactful phrases improves your ability to express complex feelings succinctly.

A Simple Shadowing Routine to Try

Use this repeat-and-record loop to practice with the video, even without a shadowing app:

Watch a 10-second clip, focusing on intonation and rhythm.
Pause and shadow speak the lines immediately, copying the speaker’s pace and stress.
Record yourself, then compare to the original. Note differences in pronunciation (e.g., “vulnerable” or “suicidal”) and adjust.
Repeat daily with new clips to build muscle memory. For extra challenge, try shadowspeaks with longer segments to improve stamina.

This routine not only boosts improve english pronunciation but also trains you to think and speak in English naturally, a must for acing speaking tests and real-life interactions.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	you've worked · I've wanted · I've had
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	are attracted · are drawn · was not born
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	men who you · people who make · someone who baseline

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: How to Make Yourself Attractive to Anything You Want - Learn English Speaking with Video

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