Shadowing Practice: Ex-Secret Agent: The 5-Minute Read On Any Man - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Will he choose me?
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Did he like me?
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Please, ladies, stop asking these questions.
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Start asking, what am I learning about him?
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Same row, different woman.
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If your stomach tightens before you even know why, that is information your body actually gives you.
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So, let me say it again, because this is the whole video in three lines.
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Will he choose me puts you on stage.
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What I'm learning about him puts you in observation.
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And observation is where selection lives.
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Please stay with me till the end
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because I will show you how to read this particular man first and then decide is he the right guy for you.
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And before we finish, I will give you the bridge to the three training where you learn how to date from selection rather than validation.
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So welcome back to the channel.
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Thank you so much for being here.
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I'm Alia Rosa, a former secret agent turned to behavioral analyst.
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I used to work in the criminal investigation department studying fighting human and drug trafficking,
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and my old job was to study how trust gets built fast,
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how a yes gets rushed before a woman has decided anything how attention gets mistaken for decision
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and that is not luck that is a partner you can learn to see
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and in this video we will do an identity shift from validation seeking to discernment
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and standards the belief we install is this my role is not to qualify for every man
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i'm also deciding who earns access to me
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so let us start with the old identity because we cannot change what we will not name.
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Number one, auditioning.
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You prepare like it is a performance review.
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What to wear, what to say, what makeup to put on, how to be interesting but not too much.
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You walk in to be approved.
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Then you're over explaining.
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He asks a simple question and you give him your whole history to help him understand you faster.
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You think you're creating closeness you are removing space for him to show curiosity and then you're over giving yourself.
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You listen more than he listens.
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You accommodate the time, the place, the pace.
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You invest like a partner while he is still deciding if he wants a second coffee.
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And here is the part nobody tells you.
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In this position, every reply feels like a verdict on you.
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A late text means I said too much.
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A A canceled date means I'm not good enough for him or he didn't choose me.
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So please tell me in this video comments which one is yours right now.
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Auditioning, over -explaining or over -giving.
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Before we go further, I want you to grab a pen and a notebook.
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If you can do it right now while you're watching this video.
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And you can post the video if you need to take it
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but it's important for you to remove that old patterns and actually understand how to date and select the right man.
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So draw a line down the middle of a page, left column what he says and right column what he does.
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So this is your two columns.
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After every date, every call, every week you write in boss.
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Not feelings, just facts.
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He said he would call you, let's say, on Thursday.
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That goes into the left column.
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Why does this work?
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Because when you are in the room, charm is loud and behavior is quiet.
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On paper, behavior becomes visible.
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And your brain actually can see and estimate that.
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So, after three weeks, you would stop guessing.
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You are reading a pattern.
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So, keep that page next to you we will use it again
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and let's go why dating feels unpredictable now the question smart women ask me privately why i am
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so successful so much attractive so beautiful so confident
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but why does dating still feel unpredictable
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because success teaches you to win not to select attractiveness teaches you to draw attention not to evaluate intention confidence
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Sense teaches you to walk into a room and be noticed, not to tell who is consistent.
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What's the light alone?
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Being desired by many men is not the same as being able to identify the right one.
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Desirability answers this.
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Do men notice me?
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Discernment answers this.
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Can I read behavior across time and decide who earns access to me?
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A woman can be strong in the first skill and still have no framework for the second.
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Then she keeps choosing chemistry, charm or potential and calls it bad luck.
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It is not bad luck.
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It is missing information and that can be fixed.
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So dating is not random.
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Dating feels random, but it is not random.
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What you observe, how you position yourself, who you choose and what you allow all affect the outcome.
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What you observe decides what you normalize.
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If you do not try a consistency, inconsistency starts to feel normal.
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How you position yourself decides what role you play.
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If you perform for approval, you will be evaluated like a performance.
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Who you choose decides the ceiling.
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A man who does not want commitments cannot give you commitment,
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no matter how well you love him or no matter how he likes to be with you.
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And what you allow decides the pattern.
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What you tolerate in month one becomes the agreement in month six.
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And that is not blame.
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Understanding is not the same as excusing and responsibility is not the same as blame.
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Blame looks backward.
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Responsibility looks at the next choice.
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Ask what is really happening here, not what is wrong with me.
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So, then widen your options.
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Now, if you have decided to find the man of your dreams, to build a family with and build long -lasting relationship,
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here is my advice go on dates open your mind your heart having a lot of choices actually gives
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you more options think about it
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when you go to the shop do you want to buy the first dress
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you see no you go to different brands different stores
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you try on different styles you see how each one fits
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and how it complements you
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and how you feel in it it is the same with men
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there are over four billion men in the world
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and they are all different they are all different and unique
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so your job is not to wait to be picked your job is to select the best one for you
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so you do not end up with a bad one
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or like toxic narcissist
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or manipulator like just the first guy who will come to you to introduce himself
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so that's why you need to have options in order to select the right man for you
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And here is why variety protects you.
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When there is only one man in your life, every sign feels huge.
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And if you have nothing to compare it with, it becomes almost impossible to notice and know anything else.
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So when you meet different men, you start to see what is normal, what is kind, what is consistent, and what is not.
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Comparison sharpens your eye.
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Now, how do you practice? practice one eye contact next time you're out in public
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or you're in a restaurant
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or just like somewhere walking on the street in a cafe
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anywhere look into man's eyes for at least few seconds
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and then smile then move on just walk
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and do whatever you were doing that's it you're not flirting for a result
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you are training imagine this is sort of a training program
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that's what we used to do in the spy academy
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so you need to get used to eye contact it opens up your guard
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and it makes you feel more friendly and more open
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and men also feel you know they feel your feminine energy
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and you will start to notice who smiles back who looks away
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that is already data practice two creative variety
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you can have one man for the cinema another one for hiking another one for gym
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another one for talking about job
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or whatever notice how each conversation feels with different men
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i'm not talking about having intimacy with them i'm talking about creative variety
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and different options for you so keep it simple
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and safe meet in public places of course tell a friend where you're going
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and switch on your location be honest
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that you are getting to know people be honest
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that you're getting to know people like you want to meet new friends right it's totally fine
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and after each gathering after each meeting open your two columns one page for each man
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and write it down variety is not about collecting men it's about collecting information
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and also feeling good about meeting new men
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so let me tell you about one member of the club
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i will call her elena for example obviously the name changed she used to arrive early
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and prepare topics she would pay for the second round to seem easygoing.
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When a man went quiet she wrote long messages, you know, like a poem almost.
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So we have changed one thing.
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For three days she had one job.
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Just notice, does he plan, does he ask, does he follow through?
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So two men failed that scan within weeks.
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One man actually passed it quietly with no fireworks.
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So she told me, it felt boring at first then she said actually
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it felt calm calm is not boring calm is what safety feels like
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when you're used to chaos the pain timeline now let me make the pain tangible for a second
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because vague pain does not change behavior months one is exciting the man is present intense,
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curious, with a lot of attention, even love bombing.
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Month two is confusing.
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Good days, then quiet days.
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You check your phone more than you want to admit yourself.
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Month three is negotiation.
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You do not ask the clear question because you do not want to lose the good parts, and you just want to keep everything in peace.
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At the month's five, you are exhausted.
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You act like a partner.
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Nothing is named, nothing is secured, and you're not moving forward.
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And then it fades, and you hear yourself say, how did I get here again with a different man,
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same feeling, wasting five months of my life?
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Please believe me, I have sat across from capable, loyal, intelligent, successful women living exactly that timeline all over again.
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The issue was never the worst.
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It was that no one gave them a repeatable way to read early let
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that sit for a second just think about it
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and analyze your previous relationship with men if you have the same pattern let's talk about the new identity
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and let us be honest for a second
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and build your new identity warm
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but observant means you're kind you smile you enjoy the evening
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and you are still watching and observing everything does he ask about your daily routine life?
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Does he remember what did you say previous date?
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Does he follow through on small promises?
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Open but selective means your heart is not closed.
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Your standards are clear.
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You do not interrogate him.
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You're not analyzing him.
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You notice whether his words and his behavior point in the same direction, which is totally normal.
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So please watch.
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Do not listen.
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Behavior is the only currency that matters, as I always say.
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Interested without becoming prematurely attached means you let curiosity lead, not fantasy.
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So, you do not build a future from a good first hour.
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You let a man reveal his pattern across weeks.
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Be patient, but at the same time, don't get attached too fast.
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Analyze his behavior.
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You do not have to become someone else.
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You have to occupy a different position in the same room.
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Selection is not arrogance.
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Now, the misunderstanding that pushes women into hardness.
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Selection is not arrogance or emotional distance.
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It is discernment.
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Arrogance says you're likely to have me.
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Discernment says I'm paying attention to whether we fit.
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Distance says I feel nothing.
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Discernment says I feel something and I will still verify before or I attach.
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Standards are tools for decision making, not weapons used to control a man.
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A weapon sounds like this.
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Prove yourself to me.
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A tool sounds like this inside you.
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I need consistency, availability, respect, and progression to continue.
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If I see them, I move closer.
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If I do not, I step back with calm.
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So let's talk about tool number two.
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What to say when you step back?
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Many women understand standards and still freeze when it is time to use them.
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So here are scripts.
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Simple, no lectures.
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And when plants stay vague, say this.
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Well, I would love to see you again.
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Let me know a day that works for you and I will see if I'm free.
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When he disappears and returns, say this.
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I noticed we went quiet.
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I'm open to seeing you, but I need consistency to keep going.
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When you want clarity, ask this.
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What are you looking for right now?
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then stop talking.
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His answer and how he answers are both data for you.
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When it is not a feat, you can say this.
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Well, I enjoy meeting you.
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I do not feel this is the right feat and I wish you the well.
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Notice the tone.
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Not angry, not pleading, calm, friendly.
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A calm boundary is stronger than a perfect argument.
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So, if this video landing for you,
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please hit subscribe because on this channel I take criminal investigation training and I turn it into protection you can actually use.
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And if you want to train live, please join ROSA Members Club, where I do regularly live obsessions with my members' women.
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And if you will write in the comment, dating protocol, we will send you a free masterclass where you can learn how to date with confidence
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and how to choose the right partner.
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So now let's talk about how does this change behavior on dates.
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You will have more observation, favor assumptions, less urgency to impress.
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More observation sounds like this.
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Instead of wondering if he likes your dress, you notice if he asks a second question instead of counting compliments,
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you notice if he plans something with the time and a place.
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Favor assumption sounds like this he's busy does not mean he's serious
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but overwhelmed he's charming does not mean he's available
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you leave the blank open until behavior feels
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it less urgency to impress sounds like this you share in layers
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you let silence exist you let him earn deeper access with consistency staying calm in
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that moment is not a personality trait it is a skill
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so please remember what i asked you earlier auditioning over explaining
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or over giving which one just show up when i describe tonight
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So let's talk about tool 3.
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The body signal.
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I opened this video with your stomach tightening as a feeling and let me give you a way to use it.
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So step 1.
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You notice.
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Where does it show up?
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Chest, stomach, jaw, shoulders.
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Step 2.
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Name it with one word.
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Rushed, unsure, pressured, excited.
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Just one word step three ask one question is this about him
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or about me or it's an old fear of being chosen pressure
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that comes from this behavior like rushing you
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or going vague is information about him anxiety
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that appears before he has done anything is often an old pattern asking for approval
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you do not have to solve it in one
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and in the first date you only have to notice feel your body so
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So, you stop mistaking your nervous system for a verdict.
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And it's about self -trust.
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Because chemistry is not the whole story.
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To bring it all the way back, selection connects directly to self -trust.
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Self -trust means you can enjoy chemistry without immediately building a fantasy around it.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “Ex-Secret Agent: The 5-Minute Read On Any Man”. This video has 261 sentences and 2680 words to shadow. The speech runs for 16:19. The speaker talks at a natural 164 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| select verb | /sɪˈlɛkt/ | To choose one or more elements of a set, especially a set of options. |
| observation noun | /ˌɑbzɚˈveɪʃn̩/ | The act of observing, and the fact of being observed (see observance) |
| consistency noun | /kənˈsɪs.tən.si/ | Local coherence. |
| earn verb | /ɝn/ | To gain (success, reward, recognition) through applied effort or work. |
| rush verb | /ɹʌʃ/ | To hurry; to perform a task with great haste, often not properly or without thinking carefully. |
| stomach noun | /ˈstʌmək/ | An organ in animals that stores food in the process of digestion. |
| chemistry noun | /ˈkɛm.ɪ.stɹi/ | The branch of natural science that deals with the composition and constitution of substances and the changes that they undergo as a consequence of alterations… |
| column noun | /ˈkɒləm/ | A solid upright structure designed usually to support a larger structure above it, such as a roof or horizontal beam, but sometimes for decoration. |
| charm noun | /t͡ʃɑɹm/ | An object, act or words believed to have magic power (usually carries a positive connotation). |
| observe verb | /əbˈzɜːv/ | To notice or view, especially carefully or with attention to detail. |
| vague adjective | /veɪɡ/ | Not clearly expressed; stated in indefinite terms. |
| analyze verb | /ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/ | To subject to analysis. |
| audition noun | /ɑˈdɪʃən/ | A performance, by an aspiring performer, to demonstrate suitability or talent. |
| attach verb | /əˈtæt͡ʃ/ | To fasten, to join to (literally and figuratively). |
| arrogance noun | /ˈæɹ.ə.ɡəns/ | The state of being arrogant; a type of extreme or foolish pride in which someone feels much superior to another. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| show up verb | To appear, arrive, or attend, especially suddenly or erratically. | |
| follow through verb | To execute or complete a commitment. | |
| look away verb | To ignore something; to pretend not to have seen or noticed something; to avoid dealing with something. | |
| move forward verb | To cause to make progress. | |
| open up verb | To open. | |
| step back verb | /stɛp ˈbæk/ | To stop what one is doing and evaluate the current situation. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Will he choose me?
- Start asking, what am I learning about him?
- Does he remember what did you say previous date?
- What to say when you step back?
- What are you looking for right now?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true | used to work · used to do · used to arrive |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | be approved · be noticed · Being desired |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has decided · have decided · have changed |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | man who does · guy who will · direction, which is |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 25 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, didn't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: observation /ˌɑbzɚˈveɪʃn̩/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, audition /ɑˈdɪʃən/, assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: consistency /kənˈsɪs.tən.si/, curiosity /ˌkjʊɹ.iˈɑ.sə.ti/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, intelligent /ɪnˈtɛlɪd͡ʒənt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like select, observation, consistency.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.