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Will he choose me?
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Did he like me?
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Please, ladies, stop asking these questions.
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Start asking, what am I learning about him?
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Same row, different woman.
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If your stomach tightens before you even know why, that is information your body actually gives you.
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So, let me say it again, because this is the whole video in three lines.
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Will he choose me puts you on stage.
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What I'm learning about him puts you in observation.
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And observation is where selection lives.
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Please stay with me till the end
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because I will show you how to read this particular man first and then decide is he the right guy for you.
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And before we finish, I will give you the bridge to the three training where you learn how to date from selection rather than validation.
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So welcome back to the channel.
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Thank you so much for being here.
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I'm Alia Rosa, a former secret agent turned to behavioral analyst.
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I used to work in the criminal investigation department studying fighting human and drug trafficking,
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and my old job was to study how trust gets built fast,
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how a yes gets rushed before a woman has decided anything how attention gets mistaken for decision
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and that is not luck that is a partner you can learn to see
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and in this video we will do an identity shift from validation seeking to discernment
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and standards the belief we install is this my role is not to qualify for every man
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i'm also deciding who earns access to me
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so let us start with the old identity because we cannot change what we will not name.
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Number one, auditioning.
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You prepare like it is a performance review.
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What to wear, what to say, what makeup to put on, how to be interesting but not too much.
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You walk in to be approved.
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Then you're over explaining.
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He asks a simple question and you give him your whole history to help him understand you faster.
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You think you're creating closeness you are removing space for him to show curiosity and then you're over giving yourself.
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You listen more than he listens.
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You accommodate the time, the place, the pace.
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You invest like a partner while he is still deciding if he wants a second coffee.
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And here is the part nobody tells you.
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In this position, every reply feels like a verdict on you.
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A late text means I said too much.
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A A canceled date means I'm not good enough for him or he didn't choose me.
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So please tell me in this video comments which one is yours right now.
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Auditioning, over -explaining or over -giving.
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Before we go further, I want you to grab a pen and a notebook.
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If you can do it right now while you're watching this video.
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And you can post the video if you need to take it
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but it's important for you to remove that old patterns and actually understand how to date and select the right man.
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So draw a line down the middle of a page, left column what he says and right column what he does.
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So this is your two columns.
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After every date, every call, every week you write in boss.
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Not feelings, just facts.
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He said he would call you, let's say, on Thursday.
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That goes into the left column.
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Why does this work?
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Because when you are in the room, charm is loud and behavior is quiet.
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On paper, behavior becomes visible.
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And your brain actually can see and estimate that.
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So, after three weeks, you would stop guessing.
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You are reading a pattern.
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So, keep that page next to you we will use it again
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and let's go why dating feels unpredictable now the question smart women ask me privately why i am
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so successful so much attractive so beautiful so confident
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but why does dating still feel unpredictable
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because success teaches you to win not to select attractiveness teaches you to draw attention not to evaluate intention confidence
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Sense teaches you to walk into a room and be noticed, not to tell who is consistent.
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What's the light alone?
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Being desired by many men is not the same as being able to identify the right one.
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Desirability answers this.
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Do men notice me?
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Discernment answers this.
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Can I read behavior across time and decide who earns access to me?
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A woman can be strong in the first skill and still have no framework for the second.
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Then she keeps choosing chemistry, charm or potential and calls it bad luck.
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It is not bad luck.
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It is missing information and that can be fixed.
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So dating is not random.
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Dating feels random, but it is not random.
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What you observe, how you position yourself, who you choose and what you allow all affect the outcome.
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What you observe decides what you normalize.
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If you do not try a consistency, inconsistency starts to feel normal.
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How you position yourself decides what role you play.
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If you perform for approval, you will be evaluated like a performance.
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Who you choose decides the ceiling.
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A man who does not want commitments cannot give you commitment,
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no matter how well you love him or no matter how he likes to be with you.
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And what you allow decides the pattern.
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What you tolerate in month one becomes the agreement in month six.
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And that is not blame.
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Understanding is not the same as excusing and responsibility is not the same as blame.
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Blame looks backward.
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Responsibility looks at the next choice.
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Ask what is really happening here, not what is wrong with me.
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So, then widen your options.
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Now, if you have decided to find the man of your dreams, to build a family with and build long -lasting relationship,
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here is my advice go on dates open your mind your heart having a lot of choices actually gives
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you more options think about it
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when you go to the shop do you want to buy the first dress
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you see no you go to different brands different stores
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you try on different styles you see how each one fits
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and how it complements you
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and how you feel in it it is the same with men
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there are over four billion men in the world
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and they are all different they are all different and unique
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so your job is not to wait to be picked your job is to select the best one for you
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so you do not end up with a bad one
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or like toxic narcissist
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or manipulator like just the first guy who will come to you to introduce himself
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so that's why you need to have options in order to select the right man for you
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And here is why variety protects you.
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When there is only one man in your life, every sign feels huge.
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And if you have nothing to compare it with, it becomes almost impossible to notice and know anything else.
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So when you meet different men, you start to see what is normal, what is kind, what is consistent, and what is not.
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Comparison sharpens your eye.
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Now, how do you practice? practice one eye contact next time you're out in public
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or you're in a restaurant
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or just like somewhere walking on the street in a cafe
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anywhere look into man's eyes for at least few seconds
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and then smile then move on just walk
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and do whatever you were doing that's it you're not flirting for a result
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you are training imagine this is sort of a training program
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that's what we used to do in the spy academy
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so you need to get used to eye contact it opens up your guard
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and it makes you feel more friendly and more open
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and men also feel you know they feel your feminine energy
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and you will start to notice who smiles back who looks away
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that is already data practice two creative variety
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you can have one man for the cinema another one for hiking another one for gym
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another one for talking about job
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or whatever notice how each conversation feels with different men
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i'm not talking about having intimacy with them i'm talking about creative variety
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and different options for you so keep it simple
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and safe meet in public places of course tell a friend where you're going
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and switch on your location be honest
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that you are getting to know people be honest
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that you're getting to know people like you want to meet new friends right it's totally fine
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and after each gathering after each meeting open your two columns one page for each man
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and write it down variety is not about collecting men it's about collecting information
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and also feeling good about meeting new men
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so let me tell you about one member of the club
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i will call her elena for example obviously the name changed she used to arrive early
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and prepare topics she would pay for the second round to seem easygoing.
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When a man went quiet she wrote long messages, you know, like a poem almost.
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So we have changed one thing.
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For three days she had one job.
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Just notice, does he plan, does he ask, does he follow through?
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So two men failed that scan within weeks.
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One man actually passed it quietly with no fireworks.
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So she told me, it felt boring at first then she said actually
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it felt calm calm is not boring calm is what safety feels like
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when you're used to chaos the pain timeline now let me make the pain tangible for a second
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because vague pain does not change behavior months one is exciting the man is present intense,
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curious, with a lot of attention, even love bombing.
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Month two is confusing.
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Good days, then quiet days.
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You check your phone more than you want to admit yourself.
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Month three is negotiation.
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You do not ask the clear question because you do not want to lose the good parts, and you just want to keep everything in peace.
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At the month's five, you are exhausted.
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You act like a partner.
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Nothing is named, nothing is secured, and you're not moving forward.
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And then it fades, and you hear yourself say, how did I get here again with a different man,
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same feeling, wasting five months of my life?
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Please believe me, I have sat across from capable, loyal, intelligent, successful women living exactly that timeline all over again.
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The issue was never the worst.
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It was that no one gave them a repeatable way to read early let
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that sit for a second just think about it
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and analyze your previous relationship with men if you have the same pattern let's talk about the new identity
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and let us be honest for a second
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and build your new identity warm
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but observant means you're kind you smile you enjoy the evening
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and you are still watching and observing everything does he ask about your daily routine life?
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Does he remember what did you say previous date?
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Does he follow through on small promises?
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Open but selective means your heart is not closed.
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Your standards are clear.
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You do not interrogate him.
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You're not analyzing him.
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You notice whether his words and his behavior point in the same direction, which is totally normal.
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So please watch.
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Do not listen.
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Behavior is the only currency that matters, as I always say.
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Interested without becoming prematurely attached means you let curiosity lead, not fantasy.
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So, you do not build a future from a good first hour.
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You let a man reveal his pattern across weeks.
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Be patient, but at the same time, don't get attached too fast.
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Analyze his behavior.
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You do not have to become someone else.
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You have to occupy a different position in the same room.
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Selection is not arrogance.
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Now, the misunderstanding that pushes women into hardness.
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Selection is not arrogance or emotional distance.
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It is discernment.
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Arrogance says you're likely to have me.
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Discernment says I'm paying attention to whether we fit.
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Distance says I feel nothing.
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Discernment says I feel something and I will still verify before or I attach.
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Standards are tools for decision making, not weapons used to control a man.
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A weapon sounds like this.
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Prove yourself to me.
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A tool sounds like this inside you.
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I need consistency, availability, respect, and progression to continue.
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If I see them, I move closer.
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If I do not, I step back with calm.
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So let's talk about tool number two.
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What to say when you step back?
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Many women understand standards and still freeze when it is time to use them.
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So here are scripts.
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Simple, no lectures.
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And when plants stay vague, say this.
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Well, I would love to see you again.
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Let me know a day that works for you and I will see if I'm free.
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When he disappears and returns, say this.
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I noticed we went quiet.
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I'm open to seeing you, but I need consistency to keep going.
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When you want clarity, ask this.
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What are you looking for right now?
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then stop talking.
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His answer and how he answers are both data for you.
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When it is not a feat, you can say this.
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Well, I enjoy meeting you.
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I do not feel this is the right feat and I wish you the well.
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Notice the tone.
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Not angry, not pleading, calm, friendly.
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A calm boundary is stronger than a perfect argument.
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So, if this video landing for you,
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please hit subscribe because on this channel I take criminal investigation training and I turn it into protection you can actually use.
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And if you want to train live, please join ROSA Members Club, where I do regularly live obsessions with my members' women.
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And if you will write in the comment, dating protocol, we will send you a free masterclass where you can learn how to date with confidence
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and how to choose the right partner.
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So now let's talk about how does this change behavior on dates.
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You will have more observation, favor assumptions, less urgency to impress.
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More observation sounds like this.
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Instead of wondering if he likes your dress, you notice if he asks a second question instead of counting compliments,
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you notice if he plans something with the time and a place.
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Favor assumption sounds like this he's busy does not mean he's serious
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but overwhelmed he's charming does not mean he's available
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you leave the blank open until behavior feels
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it less urgency to impress sounds like this you share in layers
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you let silence exist you let him earn deeper access with consistency staying calm in
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that moment is not a personality trait it is a skill
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so please remember what i asked you earlier auditioning over explaining
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or over giving which one just show up when i describe tonight
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So let's talk about tool 3.
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The body signal.
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I opened this video with your stomach tightening as a feeling and let me give you a way to use it.
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So step 1.
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You notice.
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Where does it show up?
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Chest, stomach, jaw, shoulders.
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Step 2.
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Name it with one word.
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Rushed, unsure, pressured, excited.
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Just one word step three ask one question is this about him
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or about me or it's an old fear of being chosen pressure
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that comes from this behavior like rushing you
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or going vague is information about him anxiety
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that appears before he has done anything is often an old pattern asking for approval
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you do not have to solve it in one
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and in the first date you only have to notice feel your body so
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So, you stop mistaking your nervous system for a verdict.
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And it's about self -trust.
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Because chemistry is not the whole story.
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To bring it all the way back, selection connects directly to self -trust.
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Self -trust means you can enjoy chemistry without immediately building a fantasy around it.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “Ex-Secret Agent: The 5-Minute Read On Any Man”. Questo video contiene 261 frasi e 2680 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 16:19. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 164 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Il 88% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| select verbo | /sɪˈlɛkt/ | scegliere, selezionare |
| observation sostantivo | /ˌɑbzɚˈveɪʃn̩/ | osservazione |
| consistency sostantivo | /kənˈsɪs.tən.si/ | coerenza, costanza |
| earn verbo | /ɝn/ | guadagnare |
| rush verbo | /ɹʌʃ/ | affrettarsi, correre |
| stomach sostantivo | /ˈstʌmək/ | stomaco |
| chemistry sostantivo | /ˈkɛm.ɪ.stɹi/ | chimica |
| column sostantivo | /ˈkɒləm/ | colonna |
| charm sostantivo | /t͡ʃɑɹm/ | amuleto, incantesimo |
| observe verbo | /əbˈzɜːv/ | osservare |
| vague aggettivo | /veɪɡ/ | vago |
| analyze verbo | /ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/ | analizzare |
| audition sostantivo | /ɑˈdɪʃən/ | audizione |
| attach verbo | /əˈtæt͡ʃ/ | legare, appiccare |
| arrogance sostantivo | /ˈæɹ.ə.ɡəns/ | arroganza |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| open up verbo | aprire |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Will he choose me?
- Start asking, what am I learning about him?
- Does he remember what did you say previous date?
- What to say when you step back?
- What are you looking for right now?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verbo — un’abitudine o uno stato passato che non è più vero | used to work · used to do · used to arrive |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | be approved · be noticed · Being desired |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | has decided · have decided · have changed |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | man who does · guy who will · direction, which is |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 25 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, I'm, didn't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: observation /ˌɑbzɚˈveɪʃn̩/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, audition /ɑˈdɪʃən/, assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: consistency /kənˈsɪs.tən.si/, curiosity /ˌkjʊɹ.iˈɑ.sə.ti/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, intelligent /ɪnˈtɛlɪd͡ʒənt/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: hike /haɪk/, behavioral /bɪˈheɪvjəɹəl/, hardness /ˈhɑɹdnəs/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: select /sɪˈlɛkt/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, stomach /ˈstʌmək/, observe /əbˈzɜːv/, vague /veɪɡ/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: analyze /ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/, attach /əˈtæt͡ʃ/, arrogance /ˈæɹ.ə.ɡəns/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come select, observation, consistency.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.