Shadowing Practice: How I changed after moving abroad at a young age? - Learn English Speaking with Video

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hello everyone thank you for opening this video my name is sevara

and thank you for again watching this video

and in this video i'm gonna talk about something that's been bothering me for a while

to give some context i'm from a very conservative religious family i grew up in uzbekistan

and i have very religious and traditional parents

so right now i am studying in united states this is my second year i'm studying neuroscience before

that i moved to hong kong to do my high school

and now i'm here in america so i've been outside of my home for a

while for more like than four years yeah

this is going to be my fourth year i'm going to my fifth year

and i left home when i was 17

so i've been living abroad since i'm i turned 17 right now i'm 20 like i left

when i was 16 so that that's not important

but what I'm saying is I kind of spend my teenage years like my growing up abroad

so I was exposed to so many cultures people and so many different ideologies

so for me I kind of lost the communication with my parents it became really hard to understand each other

and actually like understand each other's points understand where we're coming from i mean

i do understand their point i i know my culture i know traditions i know everything well

so it's not hard for me to understand them like i get their point

i truly like understand everything why they say those things why they make those comments why they're mad at me

and everything but i feel like they don't understand me um

because i've been exposed to such big culture and everything

and it's so hard for me to be the same to be

the same i used to be before i moved abroad and the main issue i'm facing right now is um

i'm losing connection i'm losing communication with my parents

because they don't want to talk to me unless i behave the way

they want me to behave they don't want to talk to me unless i

possess myself the way they want me to possess unless i dress the way

they want me to dress unless i speak the way

i talk to people the way like the people they want me to talk to

they're against my social media they against um all my goals and everything in my career

um they just want me to marry to us big guy

and just like have

that happy wife whatever life very traditional usbic family that's what they want for me

but i realize i don't want that kind of life

if i just imagine myself being a housewife

or just living in a very traditional usbic setting

that drains me a lot i don't want

that kind of life for myself i've seen

that kind of life in my family members uh my friends

and everyone and then i realized i don't want

that kind of life um that's not why i've been studying abroad

that's not why i've been getting those experiences like getting internship

and working hard um trying to work and study and do all

that visa stuff and everything i i haven't been doing all those things just to end up with

that uzbek man and sitting at home

and just you know like being no one in society not contributing to the community the way

i want to contribute

so that's the reason why i've been struggling to explain those things to my parents

and i just gave up

when i was in hong kong

i got full like scholarship whatever to study my housing my food everything tuition was covered i got a scholarship

and but still my parents would send me some pocket money right to some like expenses

and stuff so i'm super grateful for that um

and then they would always like let's say help me

if i need to do my visa fees and everything

so they kind of supported me a lot

and then once i came to united states

i started working from my first semester i was working at the call center i was doing my best

and this year i've been working as teacher assistant for lab

and everything so by

when i came to university

i told my parents thank you i don't want your money anymore

i'm just gonna um like earn myself i'll do my best

so it's not like hard for you guys

because i also have a sister she's going to university

so you better like help her because she needs money for tuition everything

so i kind of promised myself that i'm not gonna ask any money from them i'm gonna be financially independent everything

because i realized that in my culture money i don't know

if it's just my culture but i realized money comes with power

so if they're giving you money

that means you have to listen to what they're saying

if they're um funding you

that means you gotta do what they're telling you that's what i see as like money relationship in my country

and i realize it's really really toxic because if i have a kid

and then my kid let's say doesn't want to listen to me doesn't want to live the way

i want to live i don't know

if it's gonna be fair to just cut them off to just cut the money from them

or whatever and if i see them struggling

that doesn't mean i'm just gonna like let them struggle just

because they're not dressing the way i want to i want them to dress

or like they're not doing what I want them to do I just feel like as a parent

it's not fair for your kid to do that

and so what happened to me is I stopped getting money from them

and I just thought I want to work myself it was my choice whatever

and then once I started working once I started making money

and everything I realized I want to have social media

I used to have social media before I used to have instagram

and everything you can see my videos from the past

but then whenever i would post something whenever i just post the video

or like whatever like outfit anything i would get

so much like hate from my family from my relatives from my parents

they would just tell me delete this post you're wearing like this

that you're wearing too short too exposed whatever

but you can go to my instagram i don't think i dress

that exposed or whatever for like for like some standards

i think i dress pretty modestly i think i i dress the way i want to dress and

i respect my body i like my body

and i know my limits i know what i can't pose

100

and what i can't post but i just felt like everything

101

that i was posting was too much regulated everything

102

that i was trying to share was going over some control

103

and that made me so annoyed

104

because whenever i want to i wanted to post something

105

i wanted to share something i needed to think twice i needed to wait everything

106

and think oh okay is my mom gonna like this post is my mom gonna be mad at me

107

if i post in this outfit whatever and that just gave me

108

so much stress and i remember once

109

when i was in hong kong i was doing hiking

110

so i was wearing like leggings right and then i posted picture from hiking

111

and the week after i had my finals i was doing ib i had finals

112

and while i was doing my finals my mom was calling me every day

113

and yelling at me just

114

because i posted picture in leggings hiking she was yelling at me

115

she was like saying everything she can possibly negatively whatever um and

116

that just made me realize she doesn't care about my mental whatever state

117

she doesn't care about how i feel

118

she doesn't feel about she doesn't care about how i want to express myself the only thing

119

she cares is what other people think about me

120

and the only thing she cares is her reputation um and

121

that says a lot about a lot of people in my country a lot of parents in my country

122

because they don't care about their kid they don't care

123

they don't care about happiness of their kid the only thing they care is the reputation the other people's opinion

124

and just that big like nice picture of themselves in the society

125

after that i so then i went home whatever i came back to university now and

126

i just always had the fear that

127

if i am gonna live the way i want to live

128

they just gonna stop talking to me they're just gonna cut me off whatever

129

and then i realized so what so what if even even

130

if that happens to me if i'm happy that's what matters

131

so one thing i don't understand in my culture is why

132

love like let's say love from your parents is equal to listening to them

133

why helping your kid means they have to listen to you

134

like what kind of conditional love is that what kind of care is that what kind of

135

i don't know like love whatever it is when if your kid doesn't listen to you if they don't

136

say the things they the way you want them to say they don't dress the way you want them to dress

137

you just kind of cut them off just because you care about other people's opinion

138

then is that even love does that mean you even like your kid does

139

that mean you actually even care about your kid i don't think so i don't think you actually like your kid

140

i i just don't get that mentality and then whenever let's say i'm struggling whatever

141

let's say i want to ask my parents for help the first thing i hear is

142

okay we're gonna help you but you gotta leave this way we're gonna help you

143

but you're gonna

144

and deliver your social media i don't get

145

it what kind of conditions are these things i just don't get it

146

but then i'm really grateful i'm really thankful for myself

147

that i had the courage to stand up for myself i had the courage to continue

148

and keep going even though it's hard um i'm just

149

so grateful for myself even right now it's not easy it's so hard

150

because i have to plan everything i have to try i have to travel myself i have to think about

151

when am i gonna stay for breaks and everything but i realized

152

when you trust yourself

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when you go the way you want to go god is gonna send

154

you people they're gonna take care of you other than your family

155

you're always gonna have people around

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you who are willing to help you who are willing to support

157

you just don't be scared don't be scared to take

158

that first step don't be scared to stand up for yourself to live the life you want to live

159

because right now let's say you just listen to them you just do whatever they make you do whatever

160

and then at the end you're unhappy let's say you're 50

161

and you live such unhappy life and then you can't just go to your parents

162

because they're gonna be dead like what are you gonna say you're gonna say oh i fucked up my life

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because of you no that's gonna be your responsibility you fucked up

164

because you didn't trust in yourself you gave up you just like followed whatever they told you i understand

165

that like you guys might be in different state than i am right now um i think the biggest thing

166

that changed my life that gave me that freedom or

167

they gave me the confidence to stand for myself uh was

168

me moving abroad was me pursuing education abroad was me trying to build my life far away from my family

169

because i always had that like feeling even when i was at home

170

that i don't want to live this kind of life i was observing people i was observing my family relatives

171

and i realized i don't want to live this kind of life

172

this is not what i want for myself so from

173

that part from

174

that like time i was trying to look for opportunities i was trying to apply do it whatever

175

and i did it i wouldn't say i fully did it i wouldn't say

176

i'm like super rich whatever like successful i'm struggling but right now i feel

177

freedom to do whatever i want to do i feel freedom to say no to say

178

that um i'm not gonna live the way you want me to live

179

and you can manipulate me you can control me okay

180

you can cut the money off you can just not help me at all

181

you can just not talk to me but i

182

but i'm okay i'm gonna survive i can work i have people around me

183

and if you abandon me i don't care even

184

if you're my parent because you prioritizing other people's opinion other people's kind of like view of you

185

about your kid's life about your kid's happiness about your kid's um well -being

186

if you're doing that to me that means you don't like me that means your love is conditional

187

because from their perspective it's me abandoning them uh for my life it's like me abandoning them

188

because i want to live the life i'm in my way

189

because i want to dress the way i want to dress

190

because i want to date whoever i want to date

191

so that's for them is me abandoning them no my love

192

my love is not equal to listening to you um my

193

love is not equal to making my choices my decisions based

194

on your uh view of world right like i still love my parents i actually i'm

195

so grateful for them i i want to contribute to them

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i want to like do everything they want like in their lives right

197

i just want to help them i want to give back

198

but they don't want

199

it for them me giving them back is not something financial like love whatever attention

200

it's me listening to them is giving back to them you know what i'm saying

201

so for them they're gonna be happiest they're be whatever like calm

202

if i contribute to them by living my life the way they want me to live

203

That's like happiness for them.

204

Even though I don't do anything for them.

205

Even though if I don't take care of them financially.

206

Whatever, they don't care. That means they...

207

Does that mean that they just wanted like copy of them?

208

They just wanted someone who's gonna just listen to them.

209

Do whatever they tell.

210

Whatever. And then...

211

I don't know.

212

It's just so confusing to me.

213

But for now, I'm just sharing my journey.

214

Whatever.

215

I'm just so happy that...

216

i realized

217

that i don't have to i don't know keep fighting

218

i don't i'm not even fighting right now i'm just like i'm doing whatever

219

i want to do i'm living the life my life the way i want to live

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and if they don't accept it i don't care because

221

when i'm 50 when i'm 40 i don't want to sit

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and cry and regret that

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when i was 20 i listened to my parents

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i did my made my decisions based what they wanted me to do yeah

225

i hope you guys like this video sorry

226

if i made mistakes whatever i just wanted to share my journey um yeah

227

and i'm gonna go and have lunch with my friends bye

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “How I changed after moving abroad at a young age?”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: whatever, parent, dress. This video has 227 sentences and 2706 words to shadow. The speech runs for 16:08. The speaker talks at a natural 168 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
abroad adverb	/əˈbɹɔːd/	Beyond the bounds of a country; in foreign countries.
grateful adjective	/ˈɡɹeɪtf(ə)l/	Of a person or their actions, feelings, etc.: expressing gratitude or appreciation; appreciative, thankful.
contribute verb	/kənˈtɹɪb.jut/	To give something that is or becomes part of a larger whole.
abandon verb	/əˈbæn.dən/	To give up or relinquish control of, to surrender or to give oneself over, or to yield to one's emotions.
expose verb	/ɪkˈspoʊz/	To reveal; to uncover; to make visible; to bring to light.
happiness noun	/ˈhæpinɪs/	The emotion of being happy; joy; elation.
scare verb	/skɛɚ/	To frighten, terrify, startle, especially in a minor way.
hike noun	/haɪk/	A long walk, usually for pleasure or exercise.
relative noun	/ˈɹɛl.ə.tɪv/	Someone connected by blood, marriage, or adoption; someone in the same family.
reputation noun	/ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/	What somebody or something is known for.
courage noun	/ˈkʌ.ɹɪd͡ʒ/	The quality of being confident, not afraid or easily intimidated, but without being incautious or inconsiderate.
outfit noun	/ˈaʊtfɪt/	A set of clothing (with accessories).
scholarship noun	/ˈskɑːləɹʃɪp/	A grant-in-aid to a student.
visa noun	/ˈviːzə/	A permit to enter and leave a country, normally issued by the authorities of the country to be visited.
observe verb	/əbˈzɜːv/	To notice or view, especially carefully or with attention to detail.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
give up verb	To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone).
stand up for verb	To speak or act in support or defense of (a person, a cause, a belief, or the like).
give back verb	To return, restore (a thing to its original owner or location etc.).
going over noun	An inspection, examination, review, or investigation.
grow up verb	To mature and become an adult.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

Even though I don't do anything for them.
It's just so confusing to me.
I'm just so happy that...

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on	that's been bothering · i've been living · i've been studying
“Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true	used to be · used to have
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	i've been · i've been exposed · i've seen
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	was exposed · i've been exposed · was covered

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 156 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, gonna. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, thankful /ˈθæŋkfəl/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, scholarship /ˈskɑːləɹʃɪp/, tuition /tjuːˈɪʃən/, conditional /kənˈdɪʃ.ə.nəl/, internship /ˈɪntɜːnʃɪp/
Long words — get the stress right: reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, conditional /kənˈdɪʃ.ə.nəl/, ideology /aɪ.diˈɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, mentality /mɛnˈtæləti/, manipulate /məˈnɪp.jʊ.leɪt/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like abroad, grateful, contribute.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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