Shadowing Practice: How to Resolve Conflicts Calmly 🗣️🧠 | Learn English Through Psychology - Learn English Speaking with Video
Choose a practice mode
Each mode opens a full-screen practice room.
414 sentences
If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.
1
Most conflicts don't begin with shouting.
2
They begin with something small, a misunderstood message, a different opinion, a promise someone didn't keep,
3
one sentence said in the wrong tone, and then something dangerous happens.
4
You stop trying to understand the other person and start trying to win.
5
Hello, my amazing students.
6
My name is Sarah, and today we're going to learn how to handle conflict without allowing anger, ego, or misunderstanding to control the conversation.
7
Because avoiding every conflict isn't the answer.
8
Conflict is normal.
9
It happens between couples, friends, family members, co -workers, neighbors, and even people who genuinely care about each other.
10
The real skill is learning how to disagree without destroying the relationship.
11
In this episode, we'll learn how to stay calm when emotions rise, listen without immediately defending yourself,
12
express disagreement without attacking the other person, find solutions instead of searching for someone to blame,
13
and know when it's better to pause a conversation and return to it later.
14
And you'll also learn natural English phrases you can actually use during difficult conversations.
15
Because sometimes the strongest person in an argument isn't the person who speaks the loudest.
16
It's the person who can remain calm enough to say, I want to solve this.
17
I don't want to fight with you.
18
Lesson number one.
19
Calm yourself before you try to solve the problem.
20
Imagine someone says something that immediately makes you angry.
21
Maybe your partner accuses you of not listening.
22
Your co -worker blames you for a mistake.
23
Your friend sends you a disrespectful message.
24
And within seconds, you feel it.
25
your heart beats faster, your body becomes tense, and your brain starts preparing a response.
26
Oh really?
27
Let me tell you what you did.
28
Ha ha ha ha!
29
This is the moment when many conflicts become worse.
30
Not because the original problem was impossible to solve, but because both people start reacting emotionally instead of thinking clearly.
31
That's why the first rule of resolving conflict calmly is surprisingly simple.
32
Don't try to solve the problem while you're losing control of yourself.
33
When you're extremely angry, your attention can become narrower.
34
You focus on the insult, the unfair comment, the thing you want to say next.
35
And suddenly, your goal changes.
36
You no longer want to solve the problem.
37
You want to win the argument.
38
You want the other person to admit, you're right.
39
But winning an argument can sometimes cost you the relationship.
40
So before responding, create a small space between the emotion and the reaction.
41
Maybe it's five seconds.
42
Maybe it's five minutes.
43
Sometimes it needs to be longer.
44
You can say, give me a moment.
45
I want to think before I respond.
46
Or, I'm getting upset and I don't want to say something I'll regret.
47
These aren't weak sentences.
48
They're emotionally intelligent sentences.
49
You're not running away from the conversation.
50
You're protecting it.
51
Now here's something important Calming down doesn't mean pretending you're not angry
52
If someone crossed a boundary, lied to you, disrespected you, or hurt you
53
Your feelings may be completely understandable
54
The goal isn't, I must never feel angry
55
The goal is, my anger doesn't get to choose my next sentence
56
That's a huge difference
57
Suppose someone says, you never helped me
58
Your emotional response might be, that's ridiculous you're the one who never appreciates anything.
59
Now you have two problems, the original disagreement and a new argument about who appreciates whom.
60
Instead, pause, then ask, what makes you feel that I'm not helping enough?
61
Notice what happened.
62
You moved from defense to curiosity.
63
Curiosity can completely change the direction of a conflict.
64
Another useful technique is to lower your physical intensity speak more
65
slowly relax your shoulders don't move closer to intimidate the other person don't point aggressively
66
and most importantly lower your voice instead of raising
67
it people often unconsciously match each other's emotional energy one person becomes louder the other becomes louder
68
then the first becomes even louder soon nobody is discussing the original problem anymore
69
They're simply exchanging emotional attacks.
70
Sometimes, lowering your voice encourages the entire conversation to slow down.
71
And if you genuinely can't calm yourself, pause the conversation.
72
Say, I want to talk about this, but I need 20 minutes to calm down first.
73
Can we continue after that?
74
Notice the second part.
75
Can we continue after that?
76
That's important.
77
Walking away without explanation can feel like rejection or punishment.
78
A healthy pause communicates, I'm not abandoning this problem.
79
I'm preventing us from making it worse.
80
During the break, don't spend 20 minutes preparing a more powerful attack.
81
Actually calm yourself.
82
Walk, breathe slowly, drink some water, think about what happened, and ask yourself one powerful question.
83
What do I want from this conversation?
84
Do you want an apology?
85
A change in behavior?
86
A misunderstanding corrected?
87
A practical solution?
88
A boundary respected?
89
Or do you simply want to hurt the other person because you're hurt?
90
Be careful with that last one.
91
Pain can make us say things designed to cause pain in return.
92
And once words leave your mouth, you can't completely take them back.
93
So remember, Conflict resolution begins before the solution.
94
It begins with emotional control.
95
You don't need to become emotionless.
96
You need to become calm enough to choose your response instead of allowing your emotion to choose it for you.
97
Because once you're calm, you can do something that becomes almost impossible during an emotional battle.
98
Actually listen to what the other person is trying to tell you.
99
And sometimes, underneath an angry sentence, there's a completely different message waiting to be heard.
100
Lesson number two listen to understand not to defend yourself.
101
Here's something strange about arguments.
102
While the other person is speaking we often aren't really listening we're preparing.
103
They say you didn't tell me about the change
104
and inside your head you're already thinking yes I did and I'm going to prove it.
105
So while they're explaining how they feel, you're building your defense.
106
You're waiting for them to stop talking so you can attack their argument.
107
That's not listening.
108
That's waiting for your turn to speak.
109
And if both people do this, the conversation becomes two separate speeches instead of one real discussion.
110
So the second skill for resolving conflict calmly is listen to understand before you try to be understood.
111
Imagine your friend says, you never have time for me anymore.
112
Your first reaction might be that's not true we met two weeks ago maybe you're technically correct
113
but before defending yourself ask what are they really trying to tell me maybe the real message is i miss
114
you i don't feel important to you anymore
115
i feel like our friendship has changed the words may sound like an accusation
116
but underneath them could be sadness that's why one powerful conflict resolution phrase is, help me understand what you mean.
117
Simple, calm, curious.
118
Or you can say, so you feel like I haven't been making enough time for you lately?
119
Now something important happens.
120
The other person feels heard.
121
And feeling heard doesn't mean you agree with everything they're saying.
122
This distinction is extremely important.
123
You can understand someone's perspective without saying they're completely right.
124
Suppose a co -worker says, you ignored my idea in the meeting.
125
You might answer, I understand why it looked that way.
126
I wasn't trying to ignore you, but I can see why you felt frustrated.
127
You're not saying, yes, I intentionally ignored you.
128
You're saying, I understand your experience.
129
That can lower tension immediately.
130
Another useful technique is asking questions instead of making assumptions.
131
Don't say, you're angry because you want to control everything.
132
Ask, what bothered you most about what happened?
133
You obviously don't trust me.
134
Ask, did something I did make you feel like you couldn't trust me?
135
Questions create space.
136
Accusations create walls.
137
And while you're listening, try not to interrupt.
138
This can be surprisingly difficult, especially when someone says something you believe is completely wrong.
139
Your brain screams, stop, that's not what happened.
140
But sometimes allowing someone to finish saves time.
141
If you interrupt every 10 seconds, they may repeat themselves because they don't feel understood.
142
Listen first, then you can say, can I explain how I saw the situation?
143
That's much calmer than you're completely wrong.
144
also pay attention to words like always
145
and never you always do this you never listen you never care these absolute words often make people defensive if
146
someone says them to you try not to get trapped in
147
proving the word never is technically incorrect instead look for the concern underneath it
148
And when you're speaking, be more specific.
149
Instead of, you never respect my time, say, when you arrived 40 minutes late yesterday without telling me, I felt like my time wasn't being respected.
150
Now you're discussing a specific behavior.
151
Specific problems are easier to solve than attacks on someone's entire personality.
152
And remember, listening doesn't mean accepting abuse.
153
If someone is insulting, threatening, or behaving aggressively, you can set a boundary.
154
You can say, I'm willing to discuss this, but I'm not willing to be insulted.
155
Calm communication still includes self -respect.
156
The goal is to create a conversation where both people have a chance to understand what actually happened.
157
Because many conflicts grow from something surprisingly simple.
158
One person feels unheard, so they speak louder.
159
Then the other feels attacked, so they become defensive.
160
Then nobody listens.
161
Break that cycle.
162
Slow down.
163
Ask questions.
164
Let the person finish.
165
Repeat what you understood.
166
Then explain your side.
167
Because sometimes, the fastest way to make someone willing to hear you is to show them that you heard them first.
168
And once both people feel understood, you can move to the next difficult skill, explaining your own feelings and needs without turning them into an attack.
169
Lesson number three.
170
Express your feelings without blaming or attacking.
171
Sometimes the problem isn't what we're trying to say.
172
It's how we say it.
173
Imagine your partner forgets something important.
174
You could say, you don't care about me.
175
You only think about yourself.
176
What happens next?
177
They probably won't think, interesting.
178
Let me carefully understand this feedback.
179
Ha ha ha.
180
They'll defend themselves of course I care about you.
181
And suddenly, you're no longer discussing what happened.
182
You're fighting about whether they're a selfish person.
183
This is why one of the most useful conflict skills is learning to talk about behavior without attacking character.
184
Instead of, you're selfish, say, I felt hurt when you made that decision without talking to me first.
185
Notice the difference.
186
The first sentence defines the person.
187
The second describes the situation and your reaction to it.
188
A simple structure can help.
189
When X happened, I felt Y because Z.
190
For example, when you interrupted me during the meeting, I felt frustrated because I didn't get the chance to explain my idea.
191
Or, when you didn't answer my messages all day, I felt worried because I didn't know what was happening.
192
This is sometimes called using I statements.
193
Instead of beginning with, you always, you never, you are, you explain your own experience.
194
But be careful.
195
Simply putting I feel before an insult doesn't magically make it healthy.
196
Ha ha ha.
197
I feel like you're a terrible person.
198
That's still an attack.
199
Try to name the actual emotion.
200
I felt disappointed.
201
I felt ignored.
202
I felt embarrassed.
203
I felt worried.
204
I felt frustrated.
205
I felt left out.
206
Clear emotional language makes the real problem easier to understand.
207
Then explain what you need.
208
This is where many conflicts go wrong.
209
People complain, but never clearly say what would improve the situation.
210
Imagine someone says, You never help around the house.
211
Oh boy, the other person might genuinely not know what they expect.
212
A more useful version could be, I've been feeling overwhelmed with everything at home.
213
Could you take care of the dishes after dinner?
214
Now there's something concrete to discuss.
215
The same applies at work.
216
You're terrible at communication.
217
Try, when the schedule changes, could you let me know earlier?
218
It would help me organize my work.
219
Specific requests are easier to respond to than general criticism.
220
And here's another important rule.
221
Talk about one problem at a time.
222
Suppose you're arguing about someone arriving late.
223
Don't suddenly say, and another thing?
224
Remember what happened six months ago? then
225
and you did the same thing at my birthday then
226
and your mother said something last year ha ha ha
227
now you're not solving one conflict
228
you're opening the entire historical archive stay with the current issue unless an older pattern is genuinely necessary to understand
229
it another dangerous habit is trying to hurt the other person
230
because they hurt you they criticize you
231
so you reveal something you know they're insecure about they embarrass you so you embarrass them more.
232
Maybe you win that moment, but you've created damage that can remain long after the original disagreement disappears.
233
Before saying something painful, ask, am I saying this because it helps solve the problem or because I want this person to hurt too?
234
That question can save relationships.
235
You can also disagree firmly without becoming disrespectful.
236
Useful phrases include, I see this differently.
237
I understand your point, but I don't completely agree.
238
That's not how I experience the situation.
239
Can I explain my perspective?
240
I don't think that's fair.
241
Notice that calm communication doesn't require surrender.
242
You can disagree.
243
You can protect a boundary.
244
You can say no. You can tell someone their behavior hurt you.
245
The goal is simply to do those things without unnecessarily attacking their dignity because once people feel personally attacked,
246
they often stop thinking about the problem and start protecting themselves.
247
So remember, describe the behavior, explain how it affected you, say what you need, make a clear request,
248
and keep your language focused on solving the situation rather than defeating the person.
249
Because in a healthy conflict, the other person isn't supposed to be your enemy.
250
Ideally, both of you should eventually stand on the same side, looking at the problem together.
251
And that's exactly what we'll learn next.
252
Lesson number four.
253
Stop trying to win and start looking for a solution.
254
There's a dangerous question people sometimes ask during an argument.
255
Who is right?
256
It sounds reasonable, but sometimes a better question is,
257
what would actually solve this? because you can prove that you're right and still leave the conversation with the problem completely unresolved.
258
Imagine two co -workers arguing about a missed deadline.
259
One says, you sent me the information too late.
260
The other says, no, you should have asked me earlier.
261
Then they spend 20 minutes proving whose fault it was.
262
They search old messages.
263
They remember previous conversations.
264
They collect evidence.
265
Finally, maybe one person wins.
266
Congratulations.
267
But the next deadline can still be missed.
268
A solution -focused conversation sounds different.
269
Okay, what can we change so this doesn't happen again?
270
Maybe they agree that important information must be shared two days before the deadline.
271
Now something has improved.
272
This is the difference between blame and responsibility.
273
Blame asks, who caused this?
274
Responsibility asks, what can we do now?
275
Sometimes understanding who caused a problem matters, especially when someone needs to take responsibility for harmful behavior.
276
But if you stay trapped in blame forever, you may never reach a solution.
277
So after both people have explained their perspectives, move the conversation forward.
278
Ask, what would make this better?
279
What do you need from me?
280
What can we do differently next time?
281
Is there a solution that works for both of us?
282
These questions change the energy.
283
Now you're no longer standing on opposite sides attacking each other.
284
You're standing together and looking at the problem.
285
And sometimes the solution requires compromise.
286
Suppose two friends are traveling together.
287
One wants to wake up early and explore everything.
288
The other wants a relaxing vacation and enjoys sleeping late.
289
Who's right?
290
Neither.
291
They simply want different things.
292
Maybe the solution is, we'll explore together in the afternoon, and in the morning, you can relax while I go out.
293
Nobody gets exactly everything they originally wanted, but both people get something important.
294
That's compromise.
295
However, compromise doesn't mean you must meet in the middle on everything.
296
Some things are boundaries, not negotiations.
297
If someone repeatedly insults you, lies to you, threatens you, or treats you badly, the solution isn't necessarily, let's both compromise.
298
You can calmly say, I'm willing to discuss our disagreement, but I'm not willing to accept disrespect.
299
Being calm doesn't mean allowing people to walk over you.
300
You can be peaceful and firm at the same time.
301
Another useful habit is looking for the shared goal.
302
During conflict, people often forget that they may actually want the same thing.
303
A couple arguing about money may both want financial security.
304
Coworkers arguing about a project may both want the project to succeed.
305
Family members disagreeing about a decision may all want what's best for someone they love.
306
So you can say, I think we both want the same result, we just disagree about how to get there.
307
That sentence can completely change a conversation.
308
And if you made a mistake, admit it.
309
You don't lose power by saying, You're right about that.
310
I should have handled it differently.
311
Or, I'm sorry.
312
I can see how my actions affected you.
313
A sincere apology can sometimes end an argument that would otherwise continue for hours.
314
But avoid fake apologies like, I'm sorry you feel that way.
315
That can sound like you're apologizing for their feelings instead of taking responsibility for your behavior.
316
If you're responsible, say clearly what you're sorry for, then focus on what you'll do differently.
317
Because conflict resolution isn't only about beautiful words, it's about changed behavior.
318
And finally, understand that not every disagreement will end with perfect agreement.
319
Sometimes two reasonable people genuinely see something differently
320
The goal doesn't always have to be We agree
321
Sometimes success is We understand each other
322
We've respected each other
323
And we've found a way forward
324
That's enough You don't need to win every argument
325
You need to protect what matters more than the argument
326
Trust, respect, cooperation
327
And sometimes the relationship itself
328
Because when the conversation ends, nobody really wins if both people walk away feeling like enemies
329
Lesson number five, know when to pause, walk away, or set a boundary
330
Not every conflict should continue until both people agree
331
Sometimes the wisest thing you can say is, we need to stop this conversation for now
332
Because there comes a point when communication stops being productive
333
Maybe you're both exhausted
334
Maybe someone is shouting.
335
Maybe the same sentences are being repeated again and again.
336
Maybe the conversation has moved from solving the problem to deliberately hurting each other.
337
At that point, continuing isn't always courageous.
338
Sometimes, stopping is.
339
But there's an important difference between taking a healthy pause and using silence as punishment.
340
Imagine you're angry with your partner and suddenly disappear for two days without explanation.
341
That's not necessarily conflict resolution.
342
A healthier approach is, I'm too upset to talk about this properly right now.
343
I need some time to calm down, but I want us to continue this conversation later.
344
Now the other person knows two things.
345
You need space, but you haven't abandoned the problem.
346
Whenever possible, you can even suggest when you'll return.
347
Can we talk again tonight?
348
Or let's continue tomorrow when we're both calmer.
349
That creates security.
350
Now let's talk about something equally important.
351
Boundaries.
352
Resolving conflicts calmly doesn't mean accepting every kind of behavior.
353
You can listen carefully, speak respectfully, try to understand, look for compromise.
354
But if someone continues insulting you, threatening you, manipulating you, or behaving aggressively, you don't have to remain in that conversation.
355
You can say, I'm willing to talk, but not while I'm being shouted at or we can disagree
356
but I'm not comfortable with being insulted or simply
357
if we can't discuss this respectfully I'm going to leave and we can try again later
358
Notice something important
359
These sentences aren't attacks
360
You're not saying you're a horrible person
361
You're explaining what behavior you will and won't participate in That's what a boundary does
362
And sometimes the conflict isn't dangerous or disrespectful
363
It's simply going nowhere
364
You've explained your perspective.
365
They've explained theirs.
366
You understand each other, and you still disagree.
367
What then?
368
Sometimes you accept the disagreement.
369
I understand your point.
370
I still see it differently, but I respect your opinion.
371
That's maturity.
372
Not every disagreement needs a winner.
373
You don't need to convert every person to your way of thinking.
374
Friends can disagree, co -workers can disagree, family members can disagree.
375
Two intelligent people can look at the same situation and reach different conclusions.
376
The question is whether you can disagree without turning the disagreement into disrespect.
377
And here's one final habit that can completely change your conflicts.
378
After a difficult conversation, ask yourself, What could I have done better?
379
Not, why was that person so terrible?
380
Look at yourself too.
381
Did you interrupt?
382
Did you exaggerate?
383
Did you say always or never?
384
Did you raise your voice?
385
Did you listen?
386
Did you actually explain what you needed?
387
Did you apologize for your part?
388
This doesn't mean taking responsibility for someone else's behavior.
389
It means taking responsibility for your own.
390
Because you can't control how another person communicates
391
but you can become better at how you communicate
392
and that's really what this entire episode is about conflict isn't automatically bad sometimes conflict reveals a problem
393
that needed to be discussed sometimes it helps people understand each other better sometimes it creates healthier boundaries
394
and sometimes a difficult conversation can actually strengthen a relationship the
395
difference often comes down to how the conflict is handled so remember what we've learned calm yourself before reacting.
396
Listen to understand instead of preparing your defense.
397
Talk about specific behavior instead of attacking someone's character.
398
Explain your feelings and needs clearly.
399
Look for solutions instead of trying to win.
400
And when a conversation becomes unhealthy, know when to pause or set a boundary.
401
You won't handle every conflict perfectly.
402
Nobody does.
403
You may still become angry.
404
You may still say the wrong thing sometimes, but you can learn to notice those moments earlier.
405
You can pause.
406
You can correct yourself.
407
You can say, let me say that differently.
408
And sometimes those five words can change everything.
409
Because resolving conflict calmly doesn't mean becoming weak.
410
It means becoming strong enough to control your response when your emotions are telling you to attack.
411
The goal isn't to defeat the person standing in front of you.
412
The goal is to understand the problem, protect respect, and decide what happens next.
413
So the next time a difficult conversation begins, remember, lower your voice, slow down,
414
listen, speak clearly, protect your boundaries, and whenever possible, fight the problem, not the person.
Download App
Everything you need to speak fluently
AI PronunciationScore every sentence
IPA PracticeMaster every sound
VocabularyBuild your word bank
Vocab GameLearn while playing
Same Channel
B13
Why Translation Is Destroying Your English Fluency 🔥 | Think & Speak English Faster
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
The Story of Spotify 🎧 | How It Changed Music Forever | Learn English Through Business
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
World War II: The Complete Story (1939–1945) 🌍⚔️ | Learn English Through History
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepCambridge Exam Prep
B2The Cold War: From 1945 to 1991 🌍🕊️ | The Complete Story | Learn English Through History
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepCambridge Exam Prep
B2Rich Dad Poor Dad: The Money Lessons Schools Never Teach 💰 | Learn English Through Books
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
FOR YOU
Recommend Video
B23
169 sentences
How to Actually Stay Calm (No Matter Who Tries to Trigger You)
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
105 sentences
Lesson 1: Why you freeze (and why it's normal)
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
87 sentences
How to Disagree in English Politely—Speak Confident English
American AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
B11
348 sentences
How to Have a Calmer Life! | Easy English Podcast Conversation in Daily Life
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C11
140 sentences
Aha! Zehn Minuten Alltags-Wissen | Wie konfliktscheue Menschen streiten lernen
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
233 sentences
How to Have Difficult Conversations (Even If It's Confronting)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
54 sentences
The Power of NOT Reacting - How To Control Your Emotions
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
162 sentences
6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B250
35 sentences
English shadowing | Relationships and Communication | Level B2 | How to improve English
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
193 sentences
Can’t Stay Consistent? Build Daily Habits | ENGLISH PODCAST
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
85 sentences
Why You Snap at Small Things (It’s Not Your Fault)
American AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
154 sentences
Stop Explaining Yourself And Stay Unbothered | English Podcast for Learning, Shadowing & Life Growth
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “How to Resolve Conflicts Calmly 🗣️🧠”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: conflict, conversation, instead. This video has 414 sentences and 3818 words to shadow. The speech runs for 26:16. The speaker talks at a steady 145 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| solve verb | /sɒlv/ | To find an answer or solution to a problem or question; to work out. |
| boundary noun | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | The dividing line or location between two areas. |
| disagree verb | /dɪsəˈɡɹi/ | To fail to agree; to have a different opinion or belief. |
| pause noun | /pɔːz/ | A temporary stop or rest; an intermission of action; interruption; suspension; cessation. |
| disagreement noun | /dɪsəˈɡɹiːmənt/ | An argument or debate. |
| differently adverb | /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/ | In a different way. |
| insult noun | /ɪnˈsʌlt/ | Action or form of speech deliberately intended to be rude; (countable) a particular act or statement having this effect. |
| lesson noun | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | A section of learning or teaching into which a wider learning content is divided. |
| emotion noun | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data. |
| compromise noun | /ˈkɑmpɹəˌmaɪz/ | The settlement of differences by arbitration or by consent reached by mutual concessions. |
| genuinely adverb | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | In a genuine manner; truthfully, truly. |
| calmly adverb | /ˈkɑː(ɹ)m.li/ | In a calm manner; coolly. |
| ignore verb | /ɪɡˈnɔː/ | To deliberately not listen or pay attention to. |
| defend verb | /dɪˈfɪnd/ | To ward off attacks against (something or someone). |
| argue verb | /ˈɑɹ.ɡju/ | To show grounds for concluding (that); to indicate, imply. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| calm down verb | To become less excited, intense, or angry. |
| slow down verb | To decelerate. |
| walk away verb | To withdraw from a problematic situation. |
| come down to verb | To reach by moving down or reducing. |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. |
| leave out verb | To omit, to not include, to neglect to mention. |
| run away from verb | To avoid or shirk a problem or consequences; to rush to back away from or disclaim responsibility for something. |
| stand together verb | To remain allied through difficulties. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Can we continue after that?
- What do I want from this conversation?
- Do you want an apology?
- Ask, what bothered you most about what happened?
- Could you take care of the dishes after dinner?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has changed · you've created · has improved |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | be heard · be understood · being respected |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | people who genuinely · person who speaks · person who can |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 146 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, breathe /bɹiːð/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, shout /ʃaʊt/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, punishment /ˈpʌnɪʃmənt/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/
- Long words — get the stress right: disagreement /dɪsəˈɡɹiːmənt/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, surprisingly /səˈpɹaɪzɪŋli/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like solve, boundary, disagree.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.