Shadowing Practice: Is Having Children Selfish? | Would You Rather - Learn English Speaking with Video
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80 sentences
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I'm a single mum.
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Well you've done something really horrible though.
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You've dragged someone and forced them into a position they didn't want to be in.
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No one ever asked to be born.
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I feel like you're on another planet.
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Having children is obviously such a joy and a great thing in life.
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It's a natural feeling as a woman.
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We all have that maternal instinct as well.
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My view on biological children, I don't think people should have them.
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I'm going to have to stop here and just ask you why.
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No one ever asks to be born.
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When you give birth, you're choosing to do something to someone else.
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You're creating them.
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They never ask for it.
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You know, you can't get consent from someone to bring them into the world.
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But it is a natural process.
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But just because something's natural doesn't mean it's right.
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There are many things that happen in nature which we would say that's bad, like malaria, you know, animals rape each other, things like this.
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If you look at any other situation in our daily lives where we would talk about consent should not act
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if you can't get consent from someone.
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I'm a single mum and I have a son who's nine years old
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and just before I turned 20 I decided
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that I was going to be a surrogate and I was UK's youngest surrogate to triplets.
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I can totally understand that people have this biological drive.
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Nothing's stopping me like I could do it.
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Well actually I had a vasectomy two weeks ago
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so there is something stopping me there was nothing okay
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there was nothing there was nothing stopping me what made you make
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that decision so young because i know already
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that i'm not going at the age of 23
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i did not know half of what i know
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now the feelings change i'm sure you're not the same i'm definitely not the same person
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that i was when i was 19 to experience like pregnancy i can't even put into words how
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that feels like it's a feeling
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that you've never ever felt before like i don't know it kind of saddens me to know
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that you'll never experience that all of
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that to me just sounds like an ego trip you've brought someone into existence
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and it's made you feel all these things yeah that's good for you
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but we can't see other people as a means to our own ends okay
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i'm just gonna say it how it is i feel like you're on another planet i can understand now
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that bringing someone into the world just for my selfish desires is not a good reason to do it
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when you do create someone you're bringing them into a world where you you know
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that there are loads of bad things
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that could happen to them they could be hit by a car
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and live with lasting pain they could get cancer very early on fall victim to sex trafficking all things like this
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do you think that your selfish desire to have that kid is worth it if they live a life like that
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that's a bit crazy like why are you always picking up the negative in this sit
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because that's all i'm hearing you say is so this could happen
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that could happen so i'm sure you've had a bad experience
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or event some point in your life up until now most people have whether it's a bad memory
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or you've lost someone or whatever the case is you learn to deal
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and cope you learn you learn to mitigate the bad things
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that happen to you but no one can just live their life but
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but bringing someone into existence well you've done something really horrible there you've dragged someone
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and forced them into a position they didn't want to be in
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and those bad things are happening to them and you've done
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that biologically your gene pool that will end with you
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so what's bad about that just how do you feel just knowing
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that yeah fine good i'm not opening the door to any more bad things happening to people
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it just literally makes no sense i mean most people
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that i interact with have um the same view as you
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so like you've never met anyone who thinks my way
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and literally everyone i meet thinks your way are you a lonely child no no no
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i have a sister no did you have a good childhood
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like yeah yeah yeah everyone thinks anyone who has this view no not not even
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that if you had a good childhood then you know what it feels like to experience joy and memories.
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Yeah, as someone who exists, but if I was never born, I would have never have missed that.
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So what would you say to me if I was the one that was looking for a surrogate?
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Well, I would think you shouldn't.
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And I would say, like, if you want to have a child and raise them, adopt.
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I've had debates with many people, but that was something else.
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I just feel more sad for him, really, that just at a young age, he's made such a life -changing decision.
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Just frustrated with all the negativity about why you shouldn't have children and not the positive side of what you should enjoy.
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I'd rather have kids.
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100 % life is here to be lived and I can't wait to have more children.
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We don't agree but I enjoyed it.
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I do understand where people are coming from.
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This is a topic where I'm so often confronted by the opposing view
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that if I would have heard anything by now that would make me change my mind, I think I would have heard it.
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I would rather have no biological children, but I'm perfectly up for adopting someone.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “Is Having Children Selfish?”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: happen, view, experience. This video has 80 sentences and 986 words to shadow. The speech runs for 5:04. The speaker talks fast, about 195 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| consent verb | /kənˈsɛnt/ | To express willingness, to give permission. |
| biological adjective | /ˌbaɪ.əˈlɑ.d͡ʒɪ.kəl/ | Of or relating to biology. |
| horrible adjective | /ˈhɔɹ.ɪ.bəl/ | Causing horror; terrible; shocking. |
| drag verb | /dɹæɡ/ | To pull along a surface or through a medium, sometimes with difficulty. |
| adopt verb | /əˈdɑpt/ | To take voluntarily (a child of other parents) to be in the place of, or as, one's own child. |
| selfish adjective | /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/ | Holding one's own self-interest as the standard for decision making. |
| topic noun | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | A subject; a theme; a category or general area of interest. |
| gene noun | /d͡ʒiːn/ | A theoretical unit of heredity of living organisms which may take several values and (in principle) predetermines a precise trait of an organism's form… |
| pregnancy noun | /ˈpɹɛɡnənsi/ | The condition of being pregnant; an instance of this. |
| lonely adjective | /ˈloʊnli/ | Unhappy due to feeling isolated from contact with other people. |
| interact verb | /ɪn.təˈɹækt/ | To engage in communication and other shared activities (with someone). |
| youngest adjective | /ˈjʌŋ.ɡɪst/ | Most recently begun or formed. |
| oppose verb | /əˈpoʊz/ | To attempt to stop the progression of; to resist or antagonize by physical means, or by arguments, etc.; to contend against. |
| instinct noun | /ˈɪn.stɪŋkt/ | A natural or inherent impulse or behaviour. |
| confront verb | /kənˈfɹʌnt/ | To stand or meet facing, especially in competition, hostility or defiance; to come face to face with. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| pick up verb | To lift; to grasp and raise. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- I feel like you're on another planet.
- Nothing's stopping me like I could do it.
- We don't agree but I enjoyed it.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | you've done · You've dragged · you've never ever felt |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | be born · could be hit · was never born |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | anyone who thinks · anyone who has · someone who exists |
| Advice with “should” should + verb — saying what is a good idea | should have · should not act · shouldn't have |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 45 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you've, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- Long words — get the stress right: biological /ˌbaɪ.əˈlɑ.d͡ʒɪ.kəl/, malaria /məˈlɛəɹi.ə/, negativity /ˌnɛɡ.əˈtɪ.vɪ.ti/, vasectomy /vəˈsɛktəmi/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like consent, biological, horrible.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.