Shadowing Practice: Life Lessons Everyone Learns Too Late | Learn English Through Conversation (B1-B2) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Hey everyone, welcome back to our channel.
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I'm David.
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And I'm Alice.
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We are so happy you are here today.
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David, before we start, can I ask you something?
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Of course, what is it?
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Do you ever look back at your life and think, I wish I knew that when I was younger?
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Oh yes, absolutely.
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Every single day.
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Me too.
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Me too.
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You know, there are some lessons in life that nobody teaches you in school.
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That's right.
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You don't learn them from a book learn them from making mistakes, from getting hurt, from growing up.
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And most people, they learn these lessons too late.
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Too late, yes.
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That's the key phrase today.
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Too late.
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So today, Alice and I are going to talk about life lessons.
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Important life lessons.
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Lessons that everyone learns, but usually too late.
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And we are going to talk in simple, clear English.
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So even if you are a beginner, don't worry.
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We speak slowly.
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We explain everything.
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This conversation is for you.
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Whether you are cooking right now, driving, studying, or just relaxing.
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Just listen, just enjoy, and learn some English and maybe some wisdom too.
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Let's go.
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Okay, Alice, let's start with the first life lesson.
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And I think this is maybe the most important one.
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Okay, I'm ready.
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Tell me.
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Time.
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Time is your most valuable thing.
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Time, yes.
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Let's say that again slowly.
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Time is your most valuable thing.
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Valuable.
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That word means very important, very precious, something you don't want to lose.
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So when we say time is valuable, we mean time is precious, time is important, you cannot get it back.
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Exactly.
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And this is the big lesson.
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When you are young, you think you have so much time.
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Oh yes.
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When I was young, I thought, I'll do it tomorrow.
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I'll start next week.
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I'll begin next year.
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Yes, next year, always next year.
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And then suddenly you are older and you think, where did the time go?
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Where did the time go?
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That's a beautiful phrase.
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Let's say it together.
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Where did the time go?
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Where did the time go?
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Good.
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This phrase means the time passed very fast.
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You didn't notice it and now it's gone.
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It's a little sad, isn't it?
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It is a little sad, but it's also a lesson, a very important lesson.
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So what is the lesson exactly, David?
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The lesson is this.
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Don't waste time.
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Use your time well.
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Every day matters.
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Every day matters.
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Let's say that again.
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Every day matters.
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Matters.
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That word means is important, is significant.
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So every day is important.
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Every hour is important.
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Even right now, this moment is important.
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Yes, and so many people waste time.
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They spend hours and hours on things that don't matter.
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Like what?
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Give me an example.
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Okay, for example, scrolling on your phone for three hours, looking at random videos, reading comments that make you angry.
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Oh, I am guilty of that.
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I do that sometimes.
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We all do it.
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That's the problem.
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It feels easy.
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It feels relaxing.
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But then three hours are gone and you did nothing.
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Nothing.
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You created nothing.
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You learned nothing.
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You connected with nobody.
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That's a little scary when you think about it.
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It is.
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But again, this is not about feeling bad.
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It's about waking up.
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Waking up.
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I like that phrase.
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Waking up means becoming aware, realizing something.
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Yes.
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Waking up to the truth.
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The truth that time is passing.
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Every second, every minute, every hour.
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So what should people do?
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What's the advice here?
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Simple advice.
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Every morning, ask yourself one question.
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Just one.
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What is the question?
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How will I use my time today?
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Oh, that's simple, but very powerful.
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Very powerful.
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Just ask yourself, how will I use my time today?
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Let's say it one more time.
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How will I use my time today?
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Beautiful.
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And if you answer that question every day, your life will slowly change.
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I believe that.
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I really do.
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And listeners, think about this too.
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How do you use your time?
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Is it helping you grow?
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Is it making you happy?
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Tell us in the comments later.
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We want to know.
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Yes.
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But first, let's keep going.
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We have more lessons to talk about.
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So many good ones.
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I'm excited.
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Okay.
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Lesson number two.
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And this one, I think a lot of people struggle with.
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Oh, me too.
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What is it?
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Stop caring so much about what other people think.
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Oh, yes.
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This is a big one.
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Let's say it slowly.
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Stop caring so much about what other people think.
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Stop caring.
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That means don't worry about it.
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Don't give it so much energy.
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Exactly.
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Now, why do people care so much about what others think?
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I think it comes from fear.
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Fear of being judged.
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Judged.
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Good word.
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To be judged means people look at you and say, that's wrong, that's bad, that's strange.
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Nobody wants to be judged.
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Nobody wants people to laugh at them or criticize them.
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Criticize.
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That means to say negative things about someone, to point out mistakes.
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So people try to avoid that feeling.
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They change their behavior.
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They hide who they really are.
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Exactly.
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And this is a big problem.
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Can you give an example?
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A real-life example?
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Sure.
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Let's say you want to start singing.
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You love music.
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You want to sing.
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Okay, singing.
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I love singing.
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Laughs and hums a little.
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Okay, okay.
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But imagine someone tells you, you can't sing.
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You sound terrible.
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Oh no, that's mean.
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It is, but it happens.
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And many people, when they hear that, they stop.
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They give up their dream.
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Because they are afraid of what people will say.
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Exactly.
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They let other people's words control their life.
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Control their life.
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That's such a strong way to say it.
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It's true, though.
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When you care too much about other people's opinions, you are giving them power over you.
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Power over you.
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Wow, I never thought about it like that.
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Think about it.
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If someone says you can't do this and you stop, then they decided your future, not you.
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Not you.
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That's the scary part.
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So the lesson is live your life for yourself, not for others.
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Live your life for yourself.
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Let's say that again.
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Live your life for yourself.
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Not for your neighbors, not for your classmates, not for social media followers.
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Social media.
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That's a big one these days, isn't it?
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Huge.
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So many people post photos online and then they wait.
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They check.
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How many likes?
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How many comments?
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And if they don't get enough likes, they feel sad.
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They feel like they failed. But wait.
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Failed at what?
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At living your real life?
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At being yourself?
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That's the thing.
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You didn't fail at anything real.
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You just didn't get a little heart emoji on a screen.
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Exactly.
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A little heart on a screen.
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And people feel terrible about it.
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It sounds funny when you say it like that, but it's true.
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Many people feel this way.
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I understand why.
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I really do.
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It's natural to want to be liked, to want people to approve of you.
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Approve.
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That means to say yes, that's good, that's right.
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We all want approval.
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It's human.
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But when you need it too much, it becomes a trap.
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A trap.
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Like you are stuck.
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Like you are stuck, yes.
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You can't move freely.
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You can't be yourself.
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Because you are always thinking, what will people say?
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So how do you stop?
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How do you stop caring so much?
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It takes time.
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It's not easy.
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But one simple way is to ask yourself this question.
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What is the question?
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Will this matter in five years?
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Will this matter in five years?
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Yes.
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If someone laughs at you today, will that matter in five years?
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Probably not.
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If you don't get many likes on a photo, will that matter in five years?
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No, definitely not.
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But if you give up your dream because of someone's opinion, will that matter in five years?
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Yes, that will matter a lot.
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So use that question, will this matter in five years?
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It helps you see what is really important.
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That's such good advice.
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Simple but powerful.
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Simple but powerful.
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That's our style, right?
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Yes, always.
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Okay, what's the next lesson?
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Lesson number three.
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And this one?
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So many people ignore when they are young.
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What is it?
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Your health is everything.
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Health, yes.
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Let's say it slowly.
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Your health is everything.
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Health means how your body feels, how your mind feels, are you strong, are you well?
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And when you are young, you feel strong, you feel like nothing can hurt you.
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Exactly!
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Young people think, I'm fine, I'm healthy, I don't need to take care of myself.
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I remember thinking that.
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When I was 20 years old, I would stay up all night.
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I ate fast food every day.
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Me too.
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I thought sleep was for lazy people.
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Oh no. I know, I know.
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It's embarrassing now.
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But that's the lesson, right?
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You think you are fine, but slowly the damage builds up.
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The damage builds up.
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That's a great phrase.
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Damage means harm, hurt, problems inside your body.
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And builds up means it grows slowly, day by day, until one day you feel it.
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Until one day your back hurts, or you feel tired all the time, or your doctor tells you something serious.
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And then you think, I wish I took care of myself when I was younger.
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I wish I took care of myself.
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Let's say that together.
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I wish I took care of myself.
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That's called a regret.
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A regret is something you wish you had done differently.
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And health is one of the biggest regrets people have when they are older.
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So what does taking care of yourself mean exactly?
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What should people do?
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Okay, simple things.
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First, sleep.
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Get enough sleep.
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Sleep.
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How many hours is enough?
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Most adults need seven to nine hours of sleep every night.
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Seven to nine hours.
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That's a good amount.
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Sleep is when your body repairs itself, when your brain processes information.
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It is so important.
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And so many people sleep only four or five hours and think that's okay.
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It's not okay.
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Not long term.
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Long term means over a long period of time.
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Okay, so sleep is number one.
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What's number two?
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Move your body.
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Exercise.
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You don't have to go to the gym every day.
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Oh good, because I don't like the gym.
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That's okay.
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You can walk, you can dance, you can swim, you can ride a bike.
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Just move.
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Move your body.
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Yes, our bodies are made to move.
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Exactly.
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And when you sit all day, your body starts to have problems.
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Your back hurts, your energy goes down.
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I feel that.
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After a long day sitting at my desk, I feel terrible.
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Yes, so get up.
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Move a little.
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Even 10 minutes of walking helps.
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10 minutes.
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That's not much.
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Anyone can do that.
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Anyone can do that.
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And number three, eat well.
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Eat well.
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That means eat healthy food?
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Yes, eat more vegetables, more fruit, more water, less sugar, less processed food.
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Processed food.
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That means food that comes in a package, food that is made in a factory.
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Yes, like chips, candy, frozen meals.
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These foods are easy, but too much of them causes problems.
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Okay, so sleep well, move your body, eat well.
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That's the foundation.
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Foundation.
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That means the base, the most basic things.
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And if you do these three things, you protect your health.
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You protect your future self, because the choices you make today affect the person you will be in 10 years.
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The choices you make today affect the person you will be in 10 years.
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Let's say that one more time.
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It's important.
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The choices you make today affect the person you will be in 10 years.
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Wow, that's a powerful thought.
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It really is.
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So listeners, take care of yourselves, please.
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Your health is your greatest treasure.
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Your greatest treasure.
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I love that way of saying it.
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And if you are already taking care of your health, wonderful.
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Keep going.
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And if you haven't started yet, start today.
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Even one small step.
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One small step.
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That's all it takes to begin.
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Okay, lesson number four.
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And this one is a little more complex, a little more interesting.
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Ooh, I'm curious.
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What is it?
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Money doesn't buy happiness, but it does buy peace.
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Oh, that's interesting.
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Let's slow down.
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Let's break that apart.
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Yes.
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First part, money doesn't buy happiness.
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Have you heard this before?
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Yes, everyone says this.
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Money can't buy happiness.
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Right.
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And it's true to a point.
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To a point means partially true, not completely true.
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Okay, so it's true, but not completely.
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Right.
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Here's what I mean.
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If you buy a very expensive car, does that make you permanently happy?
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Permanently.
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That means forever, all the time.
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Yes.
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Does the expensive car make you happy forever?
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No. At first, yes.
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You feel excited, you feel great.
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But after a few weeks, it's just a car.
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Exactly.
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The excitement fades.
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Fades means goes away slowly, disappears.
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So you need the next thing.
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A bigger house, a better phone, more stuff.
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And it never ends.
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This is called the hedonic treadmill.
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Ooh, that's a big phrase.
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Hedonic treadmill.
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Let me explain it simply.
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A treadmill is the machine at the gym.
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You walk on it, but you never go anywhere.
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I know what a treadmill is.
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I just don't use it very often.
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Same.
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But the idea is, you keep buying things.
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You keep trying to be happy, but you never arrive.
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You never feel enough.
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You never feel enough.
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That's sad.
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It is sad, and many people spend their whole life on this treadmill, working more, buying more, but never feeling truly satisfied.
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Satisfied.
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That means content, complete, like you have enough.
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Yes, and that feeling of enough is very rare, because we always want more.
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So that's the first part.
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Money doesn't buy lasting happiness.
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But here is the second part, and this part many people forget.
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What is it?
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Money does buy peace.
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Peace?
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Tell me more.
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What do you mean?
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Okay.
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Imagine you have no money.
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You can't pay your rent.
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You can't buy food.
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You are worried about bills every single day.
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Oh, that sounds very stressful.
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Very stressful.
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And when you are that stressed about money, it's very hard to be happy.
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Of course, because your basic needs are not met.
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Basic needs means food, shelter, safety.
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Exactly.
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When your basic needs are not met, Everything else is difficult.
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So having enough money brings peace.
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It takes away that constant worry.
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Constant worry, yes. And peace?
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Peace is when you don't have that heavy worry, when you can sleep at night, when you feel safe.
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So the lesson is money doesn't make you deeply happy, but it does help you feel calm and secure.
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Calm and secure, yes.
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And many young people, they chase money for the wrong reasons.
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Wrong reasons, like wanting to show off?
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Exactly.
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They want a big car to impress people.
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They want designer clothes so people look at them.
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But that kind of money doesn't give you peace.
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It gives you more pressure.
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More pressure, yes.
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Because now you have to keep up the image.
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You have to keep spending.
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Keep impressing.
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Keep impressing.
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That sounds exhausting.
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It is exhausting.
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So the healthy way to think about money is this.
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Earn enough to feel safe.
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Feel secure.
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Earn enough to feel safe and secure.
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And then use the rest to create experiences, to help others, to build memories.
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Experiences, not things.
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That's the key.
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Studies show that people who spend money on experiences feel happier long-term than people who spend money on things.
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Really?
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That's interesting.
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So a trip with friends makes you happier than a new phone.
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Long-term?
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Yes.
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The memory of the trip stays with you.
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The phone becomes old after two years.
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That's so true.
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I have photos from a trip I took five years ago, and I still smile when I see them.
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See?
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Memories last.
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Things don't.
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Memories last.
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Things don't.
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Let's say that together.
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Memories last.
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Things don't.
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Beautiful.
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Okay, let's take a breath.
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We've talked about four lessons so far.
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And they are all so good.
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Time, other people's opinions, health, and money.
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Yes.
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And dear listeners, if you are enjoying this, please give us a thumbs up right now.
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It helps our channel so much.
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And if you haven't subscribed yet, please subscribe.
475
We make videos like this every week, just for you.
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Just for you.
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We mean that.
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Now, let's keep going.
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More lessons coming.
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Okay, lesson five.
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And I think this one surprised me the most when I really understood it.
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Oh?
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What is it?
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The people around you shape who you become.
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Shape who you become.
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That's powerful.
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Let's say it slowly.
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The people around you shape who you become.
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Shape means influence.
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Slowly change, like clay.
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You know clay?
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Yes.
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Clay is soft material.
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You can shape it with your hands.
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Exactly.
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And your personality, your habits, your thoughts, they are like clay.
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The people around you slowly shape them.
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That's a beautiful way to say it.
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Think about it this way.
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If your five closest friends are negative, always complaining, always angry, always gossiping.
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Gossiping.
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That means talking badly about other people, sharing secrets.
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Yes.
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If your closest friends do that, what happens to you?
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Slowly, you start doing it too.
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Slowly, you start thinking like them.
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You start talking like them.
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You don't even notice it happening.
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That's scary because it's so gradual.
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Gradual means happening slowly, little by little.
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Little by little, yes.
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And the opposite is also true.
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The opposite.
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So if your friends are positive, motivated, kind...
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Then you become more positive, more motivated, more kind.
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Simply by being around them?
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Simply by being around them.
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It's like energy is contagious.
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Contagious.
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That word usually means a sickness that spreads from person to person.
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Yes, like a cold.
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If someone sneezes near you, you might get the cold too.
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Please don't sneeze on me.
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I won't.
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But the idea is, energy works the same way.
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If someone is very positive and excited, you feel it too.
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You catch that energy.
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Oh yes, I know exactly what you mean.
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Have you ever spent time with someone who is very happy and enthusiastic?
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Yes, and after, you feel great.
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You feel great, yes.
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And have you ever spent time with someone who is very negative?
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Oh yes, and after, you feel drained.
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Drained.
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That means empty, tired, like all your energy is gone.
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Like someone took your energy.
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Like they stole it.
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Energy vampires.
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Yes, people call them energy vampires.
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They drain you without even knowing it.
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So the lesson is, be careful about who you spend time with.
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Be very careful.
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And this is something young people often don't think about.
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Because when you were young, you just want to have fun.
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You don't think deeply about the people around you.
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Exactly.
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But as you get older, you realize the quality of your friendships matters more than the quantity.
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Quality versus quantity.
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Let me explain.
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Quality means how good something is.
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Quantity means how many.
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So, it's better to have three amazing friends than 30 fake ones.
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Three amazing friends versus 30 fake ones.
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Yes, that makes sense.
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And a true friend.
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What does a true friend look like?
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Hmm.
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A true friend listens to you, supports you, tells you the truth, even when it's hard.
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Tells you the truth, even when it's hard.
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That last part is so important.
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Because some people, they just agree with everything you say, even when you are wrong.
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Those people feel nice, but they don't help you grow.
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They don't help you grow.
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A true friend says, hey, I think you made a mistake there.
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And that's uncomfortable, but it's honest, and honest is better.
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Honest is better, always.
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So look at the people around you.
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Ask yourself, are they helping me become better or are they pulling me down?
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Pulling me down.
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That means making you worse, making you negative, stopping your growth.
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And if someone is pulling you down, it might be time to spend less time with them.
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That's not always easy though.
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Sometimes these people are family or old friends.
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You're right.
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It's not always easy, but you can set boundaries.
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Boundaries.
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That's an important word.
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A boundary is a limit, a line you draw.
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Yes, you say, I care about you, but I can't spend all my time being negative with you.
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That takes courage.
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Courage means bravery.
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Doing something even when it's hard or scary.
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Yes, but it's worth it.
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Because your environment, your surroundings, they shape your destiny.
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Shape your destiny.
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Wow, that's a big idea.
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It is, but it's true.
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You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
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The average.
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So if your friends are all very ambitious, you will be ambitious too.
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And if your friends are all very lazy and unmotivated, well...
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You know the rest.
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We know the rest.
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Choose wisely.
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Choose your circle wisely.
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Choose your circle.
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Circle means the group of people around you, your close friends, your community.
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Choose well, and your life will reflect that choice.
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Okay, lesson number six.
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And this one, I wish I had learned when I was a teenager.
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What is it?
602
Failure is not the opposite of success.
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Failure is part of success.
604
Oh, that's a different way of thinking.
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Very different.
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Most people think success and failure are opposites, like good and bad, like hot and cold.
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Yes, we think, if I fail, I am not successful.
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But that's wrong.
609
That's the wrong way to think about it.
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So what is the right way?
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The right way is every successful person has failed many times.
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Failure is part of the journey.
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Part of the journey.
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Let's say that.
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Failure is part of the journey.
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The journey means the path, the process, getting from where you are to where you want to be.
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And that path is never straight.
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It's not like a clean, straight road.
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No. It has bumps.
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It has wrong turns.
621
It has moments where you fall down.
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Bumps, like problems, small and big obstacles.
623
Yes, and falling down is failing.
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But what do you do when you fall down?
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You get back up.
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You get back up, exactly.
627
And every time you get back up, you are stronger.
628
You know more.
629
You are better prepared.
630
Prepared.
631
Ready.
632
More experienced.
633
Let me give you a famous example.
634
Thomas Edison.
635
Do you know him?
636
Yes, he invented the light bulb.
637
Yes.
638
But do you know how many times he failed before the light bulb worked?
639
Hmm, I'm not sure.
640
Many times?
641
More than 1,000 times.
642
1,000 times?
643
That's incredible.
644
1,000 times.
645
He tried and failed, tried and failed, over and over.
646
And he kept going?
647
He kept going.
648
And someone asked him, how does it feel to fail 1,000 times?
649
What did he say?
650
He said, I didn't fail 1,000 times.
651
I found 1,000 ways that don't work.
652
Oh, that is a brilliant way to think about it.
653
Brilliant, isn't it?
654
Every failure taught him something.
655
Every mistake gave him information.
656
So failure is not wasted time.
657
Failure is education.
658
Failure is education.
659
Let's say that.
660
Failure is education.
661
And you can't buy that kind of education.
662
You have to live it.
663
You have to live it.
664
Yes, no book in the world can teach you what failing at your own dream and getting back up teaches you.
665
That's so true.
666
When I failed at something important years ago, I wanted to give up.
667
What happened?
668
I wanted to start a small business, and it didn't work.
669
I lost some money.
670
I felt so embarrassed.
671
Embarrassed?
672
That feeling when you feel shame, when you don't want others to see you fail.
673
Yes.
674
I thought everyone was looking at me.
675
Everyone was judging me.
676
And were No, of course not.
677
People are too busy with their own lives.
678
Exactly.
679
That's another lesson, by the way.
680
People are not watching you as much as you think.
681
That's such a relief when you realize that.
682
A huge relief.
683
But back to your story.
684
What happened after you failed?
685
I took a break, I thought about what went wrong, and then I tried again, differently this time. And?
686
And it worked better.
687
Not perfect, but better better.
688
And that is the whole lesson.
689
You don't need to be perfect.
690
You just need to keep trying.
691
Keep trying.
692
Keep adjusting.
693
Keep learning.
694
And one day, you look back and you see that all those failures were actually stepping stones.
695
Stepping stones.
696
Like the small stones in a river.
697
You step on them to cross to the other side.
698
Yes.
699
Each failure was a stepping stone to where you are today.
700
That's a beautiful image.
701
I love that.
702
So listeners, don't be afraid to fail.
703
Be afraid of never trying.
704
That is the real failure.
705
The real failure is never trying.
706
Let's say that one more time.
707
The real failure is never trying.
708
Powerful.
709
Okay, more lessons?
710
We are halfway through.
711
Let's keep going.
712
Okay, lesson number seven.
713
And this one is about relationships, about the people we love.
714
Relationships.
715
Tell me.
716
Saying sorry and forgiving are both strengths, not weaknesses.
717
Saying sorry and forgiving, both of them are strengths.
718
Yes.
719
Many people think that saying sorry means you are weak.
720
I've heard that.
721
Some people think, I won't say sorry.
722
That means I lost.
723
That means I'm wrong.
724
Yes.
725
They see it as losing, as giving up.
726
But that's not true at all.
727
It's not true at all.
728
Saying sorry takes courage.
729
It takes strength.
730
It means you care more about the relationship than about being right.
731
You care more about the relationship than about being right.
732
Think about that.
733
In an argument with someone you love, what is more important?
734
Being right or keeping the relationship?
735
Keeping the relationship, of course.
736
But in the moment, when you are angry, it doesn't feel that way.
737
No, in the moment you think, I am right and they need to admit it.
738
Yes, exactly.
739
We all feel that way sometimes.
740
We are all guilty of that, me included.
741
But the wise person, the mature person, steps back, takes a breath, and asks, Is this argument worth damaging this relationship?
742
Is this argument worth damaging this relationship?
743
Let's say that again.
744
Is this argument worth damaging this relationship?
745
Usually the answer is no. Usually no. Because a relationship, especially with family or close friends, is precious, is valuable.
746
And you can win an argument, but lose the person.
747
Win the argument, lose the person.
748
That's a really important contrast.
749
Yes.
750
And many people have done exactly that.
751
They were so sure they were right.
752
They fought and fought, and now they don't talk to their brother, or their best friend, or their parent.
753
That's heartbreaking.
754
Heartbreaking means very sad.
755
It makes your heart feel pain.
756
It is heartbreaking.
757
So say sorry, even if it's hard, even if you are partly right.
758
Partly right.
759
So even if you are not completely wrong, you can still apologize for your part.
760
Your part.
761
Yes.
762
You can say, I'm sorry I raised my voice.
763
I'm sorry I said that unkindly.
764
You don't have to say everything was your fault.
765
Just acknowledge your part.
766
Acknowledge, that means admit, recognize, take responsibility for.
767
And then there's the other side, forgiving.
768
Forgiving.
769
This is also very important and also very hard.
770
Forgiving means letting go of anger, releasing the hurt.
771
Yes, and some people think forgiving someone means you agree with what they did or that it was okay.
772
But that's not what forgiving means.
773
Not at all.
774
You can forgive someone and still say what they did was wrong.
775
Forgiving is for you, not for them.
776
Forgiving is for you, yes.
777
When you hold on to anger, when you refuse to forgive, who suffers?
778
You do.
779
You carry that weight every day.
780
You carry that weight, like a heavy bag on your back.
781
And the other person, maybe they don't even think about it.
782
They moved on, and you are still carrying the bag.
783
Carrying the bag, yes.
784
So forgiveness is putting down that heavy bag.
785
Putting it down, letting it go.
786
Not for them, for yourself. For yourself.
787
So you can feel lighter.
788
So you can move forward.
789
Move forward.
790
That's the key.
791
And this is something many people learn too late.
792
They hold on to old pain for years and years.
793
Years and years.
794
And those years could have been spent being happy. Being free. Being free.
795
I love that.
796
Forgiveness is a kind of freedom.
797
Forgiveness is freedom.
798
Beautiful way to say it.
799
So two things today.
800
Say sorry when you need to.
801
And forgive when you can.
802
Both require courage.
803
Both require love.
804
Both make you stronger.
805
Stronger.
806
Not weaker.
807
Never weaker.
808
Okay, lesson eight.
809
And this one is more relevant today than ever before.
810
More relevant today.
811
Why?
812
Because of social media.
813
Because of the internet.
814
Because we can see everyone's life every single day.
815
Oh, I think I know where this is going.
816
The lesson is, comparison is the thief of joy.
817
Comparison is the thief of joy.
818
Thief.
819
That means someone who steals.
820
Take something without asking.
821
So comparison steals your joy.
822
Steals your happiness.
823
Exactly.
824
And think about how often we compare ourselves to others.
825
All the time.
826
I open social media and I see my friend bought a beautiful house.
827
My other friend is on vacation in Italy.
828
Someone else just got a promotion.
829
Promotion.
830
That means moving up at work.
831
Getting a better job position.
832
Yes, and I see all these things and I think, why is my life not like that?
833
And suddenly, you feel unhappy, even though nothing in your life actually changed.
834
That's the crazy part.
835
Nothing changed.
836
I was perfectly fine before I opened social media.
837
But then, one scroll, and you feel less than.
838
Less than.
839
That means not good enough.
840
Inferior.
841
And it's not real.
842
That's the other problem.
843
What do you mean?
844
People only post their highlights on social media.
845
Their best moments.
846
Highlights.
847
Their most beautiful photos.
848
Their best days.
849
Yes.
850
Nobody posts a photo of themselves crying, or eating cereal alone for dinner, or failing at something.
851
True.
852
Nobody posts, today was a terrible day and I cried in my car.
853
Exactly.
854
But those moments happen to everyone, even the person with the beautiful vacation photos.
855
Even them.
856
They have hard days too.
857
They have hard days too, but you don't see that.
858
You only see the best version of their life.
859
So you are comparing your everyday life to their highlight reel.
860
Highlight reel.
861
That's perfect.
862
A highlight reel is like the best moments in a sports game.
863
Just the amazing parts.
864
Nothing boring.
865
And you are comparing your full, messy, real life to their highlight reel.
866
That is an unfair comparison.
867
Unfair means not equal, not balanced.
868
It's like comparing your practice to their performance.
869
Exactly!
870
When you practice, you make mistakes.
871
When they perform, they only show you the best parts.
872
So what's the answer?
873
How do we stop comparing?
874
First, reduce your time on social media.
875
Simple, but effective.
876
Reduce.
877
That means use less.
878
Spend less time.
879
Second, when you feel yourself comparing, redirect.
880
Redirect means change direction.
881
Change direction.
882
Okay.
883
So instead of thinking, why don't I have what they have, think what? what?
884
Think, what do I have that I'm grateful for?
885
Grateful.
886
That means thankful, appreciating what you have.
887
Yes.
888
Gratitude is the opposite of comparison in many ways.
889
When you focus on what you have, you stop obsessing about what you don't have.
890
Focus on what you have, stop obsessing about what you don't have.
891
And third, compare yourself to yourself. To yourself?
892
What does that mean?
893
Instead of comparing yourself to others, ask yourself, am I better than I was last year?
894
Am I growing?
895
Am I improving?
896
Am I better than I was last year?
897
I like that.
898
That's a healthy comparison.
899
That's the only comparison that matters.
900
You versus the old you.
901
You versus the old you.
902
Not you versus your neighbor.
903
Not you versus a stranger on the internet.
904
Just you and the person you were before.
905
That's such a freeing idea.
906
Freedom again.
907
We keep going back to this idea. Because it's the truth.
908
So many of these lessons are about becoming more free.
909
More free.
910
More yourself.
911
More happy.
912
I love that.
913
Okay, what's next?
914
Okay, lesson nine, and I'll be honest, this one makes me a little emotional.
915
Emotional?
916
Really?
917
Yes.
918
The lesson is, tell the people you love that you love them more often.
919
Oh, that's, yes, that's an emotional one.
920
Because so many people wait.
921
They think they know I love them.
922
I don't need to say it.
923
They know.
924
People assume that love is understood without words.
925
And sometimes you wait too long.
926
And then the person is gone.
927
Gone.
928
That's a difficult word.
929
It means they died or they left your life.
930
Yes.
931
And then you wish you had said, I love you one more time.
932
Or thank you.
933
Or I'm proud of you.
934
Or you mean a lot to me.
935
All of these phrases, we save them for special occasions.
936
But life is short, and we don't know how much time we have with the people we love.
937
That's true.
938
We never know.
939
Think about your parents.
940
When did you last tell them you loved them?
941
Hmm.
942
I called my mom recently, but I don't always say it directly.
943
I just talk to her.
944
And she probably knows.
945
But hearing it is different.
946
Hearing it is different, yes.
947
There is something very powerful about actually saying the words.
948
Say the words.
949
Don't just think them.
950
Don't just feel them.
951
Say them.
952
And not just to parents.
953
To your friends.
954
To your partner.
955
To your siblings.
956
Siblings means brothers and sisters.
957
Yes.
958
And also, thank people more.
959
Thank you for being in my life.
960
Thank you for always supporting me.
961
These phrases, they seem small, but they mean so much.
962
They mean everything.
963
I remember when someone said to me, you really changed my life.
964
And I just, I had no words.
965
That must have felt amazing.
966
It felt incredible.
967
And I thought, did I ever tell that person how much they mean to me?
968
And did you?
969
After that, yes.
970
I called them.
971
I told them.
972
And it was one of the best conversations I ever had.
973
Because honesty and love, they connect people.
974
They connect people in a deep way, in a real way.
975
And many people, they are afraid to express love.
976
Afraid it sounds too emotional, too soft.
977
Too soft, yes.
978
Especially men sometimes feel this.
979
Real men don't say I love you.
980
That's such an old, unhelpful idea.
981
It is.
982
Saying I love you, saying I care about you, saying you matter to me.
983
These are acts of bravery.
984
Acts of bravery, yes.
985
Because you are being vulnerable.
986
Vulnerable means open, showing your real feelings.
987
And being vulnerable is one of the most human things you can do.
988
Most human, yes.
989
So tonight, listeners, text someone, call someone, tell them you love them, tell them they matter.
990
Don't wait for a special occasion.
991
Don't wait for a birthday or a holiday.
992
Do it today.
993
Because today is a good day.
994
Today is always a good day for love.
995
That's beautiful, Alice.
996
Thank you, David.
997
Okay, we are almost at the end.
998
Lesson 10.
999
And I wanted to end with this one because I think it ties everything together.
1000
Ties everything together.
1001
That means connects all the ideas.
1002
Yes.
1003
Lesson 10 is this.
1004
You are always learning, and that is okay.
1005
You are always learning, and that is okay.
1006
So many people feel ashamed when they don't know something, when they make a mistake, when they realize they were wrong about something.
1007
Ashamed.
1008
That's a strong word.
1009
It means embarrassed, feeling bad about yourself.
1010
Yes.
1011
People feel ashamed for not knowing. But why?
1012
I think because we expect ourselves to already know everything.
1013
To already know everything.
1014
And that is completely impossible.
1015
Nobody knows everything.
1016
Not even professors, not even doctors, not even the smartest people in the world.
1017
Not even they know everything.
1018
And they would tell you that themselves.
1019
A very wise person once said, the more you know, the more you realize you don't know.
1020
That's so true.
1021
The more you learn, the more you see how much more there is to learn.
1022
And that can feel overwhelming.
1023
Overwhelming means too much, like a wave that is too big.
1024
But it shouldn't feel that way.
1025
It should feel exciting.
1026
Exciting?
1027
How?
1028
Because it means life is always interesting.
1029
There is always something new to discover, something new to understand, something new to try.
1030
Something new to discover.
1031
I like that.
1032
If you already knew everything, life would be boring.
1033
That's true.
1034
Imagine knowing exactly what will happen every single day and knowing every answer to every question.
1035
That sounds awful, actually.
1036
Yes, we need the mystery.
1037
We need the learning.
1038
We need the process of growing.
1039
The process means the journey of change and development.
1040
And this applies to English too, listeners.
1041
Oh yes, especially to English.
1042
You are learning English right now, and maybe you feel, I make so many mistakes, my grammar is not perfect, I forget words.
1043
And I want to say to you directly, that is okay.
1044
That is completely okay.
1045
Every mistake is a step forward.
1046
Every time you try to speak in English, even if it's wrong, you are learning.
1047
You are practicing, and practice is everything.
1048
Nobody starts perfect.
1049
Nobody was born speaking English.
1050
Not even native speakers.
1051
They made mistakes when they were children, too.
1052
Absolutely.
1053
All children make mistakes learning their language, and eventually, they get it.
1054
And you will get it, too, if you keep going.
1055
If you keep going, that's the key.
1056
Consistency.
1057
Doing something regularly, day after day.
1058
Consistency.
1059
That's one of the most important words in learning.
1060
Not talent, not intelligence.
1061
Consistency.
1062
You don't need to be the most talented person.
1063
You just need to show up every day.
1064
Show up every day.
1065
Even for 10 minutes.
1066
Even for one video.
1067
Even for one new word.
1068
One new word a day is 365 words in a year.
1069
365 words.
1070
That's a lot of new words.
1071
Math and English at the same time.
1072
We are very efficient.
1073
Very efficient.
1074
But seriously, small steps every day lead to big changes over time.
1075
Small steps every day lead to big changes over time.
1076
Let's say that one more time.
1077
Small steps every day lead to big changes over time.
1078
And be patient with yourself.
1079
Patient means calm, not rushing, not being angry when things take time.
1080
Be patient with yourself.
1081
Give yourself grace.
1082
Grace.
1083
That means kindness, understanding, not being too hard on yourself.
1084
Be kind to yourself.
1085
You're doing better than you think.
1086
You are doing better than you think.
1087
I really believe that for everyone watching right now.
1088
You chose to spend your time learning today.
1089
That is already something to be proud of.
1090
Already something to be proud of.
1091
And every day you choose to learn, every day you choose to grow, you are becoming a better version of yourself.
1092
A better version of yourself.
1093
Not perfect, just better.
1094
And better is enough.
1095
Better is more than enough.
1096
Okay, dear listeners, we have reached the end of today's conversation.
1097
And what a conversation it was.
1098
It really was.
1099
I feel like I learned something too.
1100
And I talked the whole time.
1101
That's the magic of these conversations.
1102
They remind us of things we already know, but forget to practice.
1103
Things we already know, but forget to practice.
1104
That's so true.
1105
Let's quickly go through all 10 lessons one more time.
1106
Short and clear.
1107
Yes, let's do it.
1108
Lesson one.
1109
Time is your most valuable thing.
1110
Use it well.
1111
Lesson two.
1112
Stop caring so much about what other people think.
1113
Live your life for yourself.
1114
Lesson three.
1115
Your health is everything.
1116
Sleep well, move your body, eat well.
1117
Lesson 4 Money doesn't buy lasting happiness, but it does buy peace.
1118
Spend on experiences, not things.
1119
Lesson 5 The people around you shape who you become.
1120
Choose your circle wisely.
1121
Lesson 6 Failure is not the opposite of success.
1122
Failure is part of the journey.
1123
Keep trying.
1124
Lesson 7 Saying sorry and forgiving are both strengths.
1125
They bring you freedom.
1126
Lesson 8 Comparison is the thief of joy.
1127
Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
1128
Lesson 9 Tell the people you love that you love them.
1129
Say the words.
1130
Don't wait.
1131
And Lesson 10 You are always learning, and that is okay.
1132
Be patient with yourself.
1133
Keep going.
1134
10 beautiful lessons, all of them so important.
1135
And all of them, things that many people learn too late.
1136
But not us, not you, dear listener.
1137
Because you are here.
1138
You are learning.
1139
You are growing.
1140
Right now.
1141
Today.
1142
And that makes all the difference.
1143
Now, we have a question for you, and we really want to hear your answer.
1144
Yes.
1145
Comment below.
1146
Tell us.
1147
Which of these 10 lessons hit you the hardest?
1148
Which one did you need to hear today?
1149
Was it about time? About health?
1150
About the people around you?
1151
About saying, I love you more?
1152
Tell us in the comments.
1153
We read every single one, and we always try to reply.
1154
We love hearing from you.
1155
You are the reason we make these videos.
1156
Truly.
1157
This channel is a community, and you are part of it.
1158
And if you enjoyed this video, please give it a thumbs up.
1159
It takes just one second, but it helps us reach more people.
1160
More people who want to improve their English.
1161
More people who want to learn.
1162
And if you are new here, please subscribe.
1163
We make new videos every week, conversations like this one.
1164
Conversations that help you learn English and maybe learn a little about life too.
1165
Two things for the price of one.
1166
The best deal.
1167
Absolutely free.
1168
Before we go, let's say the key phrase one final time, together.
1169
Ready?
1170
Ready.
1171
Small steps every day lead to big changes over time.
1172
Beautiful.
1173
Thank you so much for being here today.
1174
Thank you for choosing to spend your time with us.
1175
Take care of yourselves.
1176
Be kind to yourselves.
1177
Keep learning, keep growing.
1178
And we will see you in the next video.
1179
See you soon.
1180
Bye-bye.
1181
Bye-bye, everyone.
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Who Is This Video For?
This video is perfect for B1-B2 English learners aiming to improve their conversational skills while gaining life insights. Whether you’re cooking, commuting, or relaxing, the slow, clear dialogue makes it easy to follow—ideal for those practicing listening comprehension and looking to build confidence in everyday speech. It’s also a great tool for learners using shadowing techniques, as the natural flow of conversation mirrors real-life interactions, helping you master rhythm and pacing.
Words & Idioms Worth Stealing
The conversation is packed with practical vocabulary. Valuable (precious, important) and too late (after the ideal time) are key phrases that appear repeatedly, making them easy to memorize. The idiom look back (reflect on the past) is also useful—you’ll hear it in phrases like “look back at your life.” These terms aren’t just for talking about time; they’re versatile enough for daily chats, making them worth adding to your toolkit. For learners using a shadowing app, repeating these phrases aloud will help solidify their meaning and usage.
How to Get the Accent Right
To nail the pronunciation, focus on the stress in valuable (VA-lu-a-ble) and the soft “t” in important (im-POR-tant). The speakers use a natural, conversational tone, so pay attention to how they pause between ideas—this will help you mimic the rhythm of real English. For shadowspeak practice, replay short segments (like “Time is your most valuable thing”) and repeat them immediately, matching the speed and intonation. This technique, often called shadow speech, trains your mouth to move like a native and improves your overall pronunciation. The video’s slow pace makes it easy to pause and repeat, so take advantage of that to refine your accent.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | If someone laughs at you today, will that · If you already knew everything, life would be |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | haven't started · Have you heard · We've talked |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | being judged · be judged · be liked |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | people who spend · someone who is · someone who steals |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.