Shadowing Practice: The Funny Ones with Ross | Friends - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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Oh, oh, okay, Ross, I realized that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but, uh, let me explain, okay?
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We weren't doing anything!
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Rach, he just saw us.
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But what you saw, that is the extent No, come on.
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That is a lie.
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We also kissed in Barbados.
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Dude, chill.
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Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay?
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And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
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Yeah, you started it.
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I have got to chill.
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Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but...
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Oh, we feel so terrible about this, Ross.
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Yeah, but it did happen. So...
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Ross?
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Ross?
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Can we just close the door?
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so you two are yeah and have you had no no no no no
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but if i hadn't walked in here would you probably no no
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gross this is not how we wanted you to find out
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about this you have every right to go nuts I'm not going nuts.
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Do you see me going nuts?
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No, but you know what I mean.
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Hey, hey, hey.
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If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you.
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I'm fine.
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Really?
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Absolutely.
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I'm fine.
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Totally fine.
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I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, because, really, I'm fine.
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I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing.
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I mean, at first, I was like, ah!
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But now that I've had time to absorb it...
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loving this...
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it's all working out me and Charlie
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and you two you know what we should do calm ourselves
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we should all have dinner yes we'll do it tomorrow night I'll cook
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look don't you think that'll be a little weird weird what
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what's weird I don't know the only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food because I'M MAKING FAJITAS!
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I DO LIKE FAJITAS.
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OH, GOD.
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I'll be here.
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Surprise!
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What the hell are you doing?
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You scared the crap out of me. Was that the cake?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I got a lemon smush.
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Come on.
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She'll be here any minute.
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Hope it's OK.
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Happy birthday, Pee -hee.
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Well, maybe we can make a bee out of one of those roses.
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Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
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Hey, what's going on?
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We just...
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There's no way I'm going to get a shot.
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Maybe they can take the needle and squirt it into my mouth.
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You know, like a squirt gun.
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hello there I'm dr. Carlin I see someone's having a little
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allergic reaction doctor can I see you for just a moment
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please my brother has a slight phobia about needles did you
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tell him about my squirt gun idea my brother the PhD would like to know
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if there's any way to treat this orally no under these circumstances, it has to be an injection.
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And it has to be now.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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All right, that's good.
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Have a seat.
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Um, doctor says it's got to be a needle, so you're just going to have to be brave, okay?
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Can you do that for me?
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Oh, boy, you are doing so good.
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Good.
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Okay, you want to squeeze my hand?
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Yes.
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Okay.
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All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard.
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Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard.
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Are you sure he didn't break it?
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Because it really hurts.
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No, it's just a good bone bruise.
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And right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm really sorry.
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Sorry.
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Sorry.
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Hey!
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Hey!
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I got my S's back!
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Which we can celebrate later.
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I just want to thank you for being there for me today and I'm sorry I almost broke your hand
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sorry I poisoned you hey remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand remember it
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What do you think this is?
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A freckle?
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Oh.
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Wait, what about a time that I hit you in the face with a Sylvan's pumpkin?
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Oh, man.
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Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
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No. But I remember people telling me about it.
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Oh.
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Well, Ben has a little sister.
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Yeah.
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And I hope she can kick his ass.
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I'm gonna get a new bandit.
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Hey, how about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu can?
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That was you?
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Uh, they were infected.
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They wouldn't have made it.
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You gotta stop, okay?
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You can't just stare through the peephole for three hours.
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You're gonna get peep -eyed.
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I knew it.
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I knew it.
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I always knew she liked him.
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You know, she'd say no, but here we are, right?
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We just broke up.
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First thing she does.
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You didn't just break up.
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Hey, it's been, like, three weeks.
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You've slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up.
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I mean, bullets have left guns slower.
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Here they go.
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Here they...
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Oh, if she kisses him goodnight, I'm gonna kill myself.
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I swear.
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I can't...
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I can't watch.
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Come on, date over.
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Date over.
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Oh, oh, here we go.
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She's going in okay she's going in he's going in he's going in the door's closed i can't see anything
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but the door closed
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and the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave
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okay i have to do something i mean i have to
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i have to stop it stop what i don't know
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but i have a feeling that my being there will do it i'll go over
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and i will borrow something juice i need juice no you can't We must be stuck.
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I am your friend, and I am not going to let you do this.
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You are surprisingly strong.
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I need juice.
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People need juice.
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Look, man.
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People need juice.
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Listen to me.
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Juice they need.
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She's moving on, okay?
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If it's not this guy, it's going to be somebody else.
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And unless you're thinking about subletting my peephole, you are going to have to get used to the fact
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that the relationship is over, okay? man it's over yeah okay okay it's just I miss her
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so much I know my god
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these pants I'm burning up she wants to snuggle now what
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is she trying to kill me it's It's like a volcano in here. Are you hot?
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No. Okay, must just be me then.
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That was just the pants on the couch.
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um hey do you mind if i use your bathroom oh go ahead thanks
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Oh, my God.
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Oh, hey, my favorite part's coming up.
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Okay.
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Oh, my God!
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Hello?
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Joey, it's Ross.
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I need some help.
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Uh, Chandler's not here.
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Well, you can help me.
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Okay.
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Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom.
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Nice.
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No, I -I got really hot in my leather pants, so I took them off, but they must have shrunk from the -the sweat or something, or -or my legs expanded from the heat.
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But I -I can't get them back on, Joey.
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I can't.
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Oh.
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That is quite a situation.
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Uh, do you see any, like, powder?
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Powder, yeah.
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Yeah, I have powder.
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Good, good.
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Okay.
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sprinkle some of that on your legs it'll absorb some of the moisture
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and then you can get your pants back on yeah hold on
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They're not coming on, man.
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Um, you see any, uh, oh, Vaseline.
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Oh, I...
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I see lotion.
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I have lotion.
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Will that work?
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Yeah, sure.
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Throw some of that on there.
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Hold on.
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Ross, you okay?
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They're still.. they're still not coming on, man, and the lotion
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and the powder have made a paste really uh what color is it what difference does
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that make well i'm just
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if the paste matches the pants you can make yourself a pair of paste pants
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and she won't know the difference joey do you have a minute dude what am i uh rachel's here
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so good luck man let me know how it works out
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oh joey i have such a problem uh well your timing
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couldn't be better i am putting out fires all over the
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place ross um you've been in there for a long time
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i'm starting to get kind of freaked out all right i'm
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coming out hey can you turn the lights off no let's just leave the lights on
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oh my god i had a problem i'm gonna have you
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and all the guys from work over once it's you know
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furnished i must say it's nice to see you back on your feet well i am
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that and that whole rage thing is definitely behind me i wonder
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if it's time for you to rejoin our team at the museum oh donald
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that that would be great i am totally ready to come back to work i what no what are you doing
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get off my sister Chandler Chandler
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Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window
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I saw what you were doing to my sister now get out here listen, we had a good run you know, what was it, four, five months I mean,
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that's more than most people have in a lifetime So, goodbye.
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Take care.
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Bye -bye, then.
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What are you doing?
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Oh, I'm going on the lam.
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Come on, Jared.
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Come on.
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I can handle Ross.
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Hold on.
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Hey, Ross, what's up, bro?
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What the hell are you doing?
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Hey, what's going on?
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Well, I think, I think, Ross knows about me and Monica.
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Dude, he's right there.
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I thought you were my best friend.
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This is my sister.
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My best friend and my sister!
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I -I cannot believe this!
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Look, we're not just messing around.
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I love her.
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Okay?
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I'm in love with her.
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I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way.
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I'm sorry, but it's true.
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I -I love him, too.
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My best friend and my sister!
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i cannot believe this oh i'm sorry you guys want to probably get some hugs in too huh big news
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no that's okay we've actually known for a while
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what what what you guys knew you you all knew and you didn't tell me
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well ross we were worried about you okay we didn't know how you were going to react
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you were worried about me you didn't know how i was gonna react
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okay all right what do you say we all uh clear out of here
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and let these two lovebirds get back down to business hey
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hey hey i'm just talking here he's the one doing your sister hey what's up You know,
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oh, my God.
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What happened to your teeth?
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I whitened them.
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Really?
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Yeah, what do you think?
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Well, I think I shouldn't look directly at them.
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Come on, seriously.
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What, they're really, really, really white.
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Yeah, what was wrong with your old human teeth?
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I did leave the gel on a little longer than it said to.
257
How much longer?
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Uh, a day.
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Boss, you know that tonight is your date with Hillary.
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I know.
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That's why I did it.
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Come on, are they really that bad?
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No. No, no, no. You'll be fine.
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Hillary's blind, right?
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She will be after tonight.
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Oh, hey.
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Hey, Rach.
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Do you notice anything, uh...
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Your teeth?
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Yes, I saw them from outside.
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Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white.
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Nope.
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No, okay, so colors that don't work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
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I don't know what I'm gonna do.
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The date starts in like an hour.
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Hey, Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter, your teeth wouldn't look so bright.
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Oh, great.
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So all I need to do is get some new skin.
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Thank you.
280
I'm just saying if you put just a little bit of makeup on you...
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Oh, whoa, whoa.
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We're not 13 anymore.
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Ross, this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
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But won't she notice I have makeup on?
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Please, half the guys out there have makeup on.
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What?
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I mean, half the people.
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I mean, we'll just try it and see.
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No, I am not putting on makeup.
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Hello?
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Oh, good.
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Ross, could you put up some of these flyers for me?
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No, Damon!
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Damon!
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And after that, what could I do except become a chef?
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Mm -hmm.
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And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant.
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Mm.
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You know, you're a really great listener.
300
Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.
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Mm -hmm.
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After a while, it's just like, shut your mouth, you know?
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Mm -hmm.
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I've probably been talking too much.
305
Why don't we talk about you a little bit?
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Mm -hmm.
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Come on, I want to know.
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Mm -hmm.
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Mm -hmm.
310
Mm -hmm.
311
OK.
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I am from Long Island.
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I, uh, came to the city for college, um, I, uh, I have a five -year -old son, and I, in my spare time, I, I like to read spy novels,
314
but, but let's do it.
315
Let's talk more about you, hmm?
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I've had a really good time tonight.
317
You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
318
Me neither.
319
I've had a really good time, too, you know.
320
Are you gonna eat that bread?
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Oh, I just like the smell.
322
You make me laugh.
323
Would you like to move over to the couch?
324
Mm -hmm.
325
Maybe I'll just turn down the lights a little.
326
How about all the way?
327
Okay.
328
Wow, cool poster.
329
Or should I say, groovy poster?
330
So, uh, where were we? Are those your teeth?
331
Oh, you...
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You can see them, huh?
333
Yes, they're insanely white.
334
Yeah, I did that for you.
335
you what's the matter with you what's the matter with me you've got a black light it's 1999.
336
mom uh chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is
337
oh thank you chandler i just bought it oh yes well it's very beautiful and it's cream colored and tight and
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i don't mean tight i mean it's not too tight not that i was looking at
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what's the matter with him i think he's stoned again what what dude i need to talk to you a sec
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okay i think i might know why my parents don't like you you do why okay remember we were young Spring break,
341
sophomore year, I -I got high in my bedroom
342
and my parents walked in and smelled it and
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so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
344
What?
345
Why did you do that?
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I don't know.
347
Uh, it was the first name that popped into my head.
348
I'm sorry.
349
I didn't think it'd matter.
350
How could it not matter?
351
How was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college, let alone you'd be living with my sister?
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What about all that friends forever stuff?
353
I don't know.
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I was all high.
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Mom and Dad just sent me in here to find out if you were trying to get Ross stoned.
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Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college, and he blamed it on me.
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Ross, I can't believe you'd do that.
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The reason we haven't told them we're together is because they hate me.
359
Okay, so will you fix this?
360
Okay, okay.
361
I'll tell them it wasn't Chandler who got high.
362
Okay.
363
Now, who should I say it was?
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You!
365
It's not like it's a big deal.
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You don't still do it or anything.
367
All right, all right.
368
Now, who should I say tricked me into doing it?
369
Let's go.
370
Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad.
371
I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
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All right, you know what?
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That's it.
374
You've had your chance.
375
What?
376
Mom, Dad, Ross smoked pot in college.
377
What?
378
You are such a tattletale!
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Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
380
Yes.
381
Well, I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot, but it was me.
382
I'm sorry.
383
It was you?
384
And, Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired?
385
Didn't steal your Playboys.
386
Ross did.
387
Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing.
388
Monica did.
389
Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year!
390
Monica and Chandler are living together!
391
Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced again!
392
That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds.
393
All right, Monica.
394
Why you felt you had to hide the fact that you're in an important relationship is beyond me.
395
And we kind of figured about the porch swing.
396
Ross.
397
Drugs.
398
divorced again what happened son I I uh I got tricked into all those things
399
Chandler you've been Ross's best friend all these years stuck by
400
him during the drug problems you've taken on Monica as well
401
well I don't know what to say you're a wonderful human being thank you no thank you
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Monica and Ross I don't know what I'm gonna do about the two of you I'll talk to them
403
hey i'm here oh oh my god you like it oh my god it's my new apothecary table
404
ross phoebe is gonna be here any second she cannot see
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this oh why not she'll she'll love it it's the real
406
thing i got it at pottery bar i know you did i bought the same one
407
and if she sees your table she's gonna know
408
that i lied to her i told her
409
that ours was an original why did you do that
410
because she hates Pottery Barn she hates Pottery Barn I know
411
I know she says it's all mass -produced nothing is authentic and everyone winds up having the same stuff
412
she's gonna be here any second can we please just cover
413
this up with something please no no I am not gonna
414
hide it from Phoebe oh although I did get some great
415
Pottery Barn sheets I still can't believe she hates Pottery Barn
416
Ross get over it it's not like she hates you yeah
417
but Pottery Barn you know when I think it she's just she's weird you know it's
418
because she's a twin twins are
419
weird she's not weird she just likes her stuff to be
420
one of a kind huh you know it's not one of a kind a twin oh baby's here okay
421
so let's turn out all the lights
422
and we'll just watch the movie okay hey oh cool sheet
423
oh you like it you want to know where i got
424
it sure they got it at a flea market you bought
425
your sheets at a flea market Ross come on
426
you gotta loosen the purse strings a little please
427
not put your feet up on my new old sheet Oh, no!
428
Ross, where did you get this?
429
I got it at Pottery Barn, okay?
430
Oh, my God.
431
Baby, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique.
432
Wow.
433
Oh, my God.
434
Well, if they've ripped off our table, ours must be worth much more than one in $50.
435
Well, this doesn't even smell like opium.
436
Of course not.
437
It smells like wine, which you spilled.
438
And thanks for wrecking my sheep, by the way.
439
Oh, Ross, calm down.
440
I'll give you the 80 cents.
441
Hey.
442
Hey, what have you guys been up to?
443
Oh, we went to a self -defense class today.
444
Wow.
445
Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of you.
446
Takes it out of you.
447
No, now we can kick anybody's ass.
448
After one class?
449
I don't think so.
450
What?
451
You want to see me self -defend myself?
452
Go over there and pretend you're a sexual predator.
453
Go on, I dare ya!
454
Well, of course you could defend yourself from an attack you know is coming.
455
That's not enough.
456
Look, I studied karate for a long time.
457
And there's a concept you should really be familiar with.
458
It's what the Japanese call unagi.
459
Isn't that a kind of sushi?
460
No, it's a concept.
461
Yeah, it is.
462
It is.
463
It's freshwater eel.
464
All right, maybe it means that, too.
465
Oh, I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now.
466
No, fine.
467
Get attacked.
468
I don't even care.
469
Come on, Ross.
470
We're sorry.
471
Please tell us what it is.
472
Unagi is a state of total awareness, okay?
473
Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.
474
You mean in case someone's trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
475
All I'm saying is it's one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other, whole nother story being prepared for an attack.
476
I don't know, like, surprise!
477
Surprise!
478
All right, you knew that was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi.
479
Ooh, you know what?
480
If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half hour.
481
Oh, it's done.
482
How's that last?
483
DANGER!
484
DANGER!
485
What the hell was that?
486
A lesson in the importance of unagi.
487
Oh.
488
You're a freak.
489
Perhaps.
490
Now, I'm curious.
491
At what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
492
All right, so we weren't prepared.
493
I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but, look, I just want you guys to be safe.
494
Oh.
495
Danger!
496
Uh -huh.
497
Unagi.
498
Danger!
499
Ah.
500
Salmon skin roll.
501
Kat Sajak?
502
Yep.
503
Alex Trebek?
504
Oh, of course.
505
Chuck Woolery?
506
Definitely, Phoebe.
507
You will not find a single game show host whose ass I cannot kick.
508
Say it!
509
Say we are, Iunagi!
510
It's not something you are, it's something you have!
511
Say it!
512
You know what, I can easily get out of this, but there's a chance you can get very, very hurt!
513
uh -huh nowhere to run I don't like sitting up here I'm gonna go the way so they got here first
514
why is I was doing
515
that thank you oh my god why is he jumping on those women we I think we should help them.
516
I don't think they need any help.
517
Wow.
518
I have never had such a healthy break -up.
519
She was such a grown -up about it.
520
She didn't seem too immature for me.
521
Did I just make a huge mistake?
522
Ross, wait!
523
Elizabeth, thank God.
524
I -I was just thinking about it.
525
You suck!
526
What?
527
Okay.
528
Breakup's still on.
529
Everybody, Happy Thanksgiving.
530
Shh.
531
No, no, no. No, no, no. What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
532
No, we were playing this game I learned at work.
533
You have to name all the states in six minutes.
534
What?
535
That's, like, insanely easy.
536
No, it's a lot harder than it sounds.
537
You always forget at least one.
538
Or in some cases...
539
14. It's a stupid game, and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose.
540
What?
541
You forgot 14 states?
542
Nobody cares about the Dakotas.
543
Oh, okay, time's up.
544
All right, I got 48.
545
Oh, that's not bad.
546
Pheebs?
547
Oh, I got tired of naming states, so I decided to list the types of celery.
548
and I have one regular salary okay so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in
549
vegetables Joey say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game
550
56 done with time to spare whoo this may be a
551
new world's record you know I hate to lecture you guys
552
but it's kind of disgraceful that a group of well educated adults
553
and Joey can't name all the states you ever see a map
554
or one of those round colorful things called a globe Magellan you got 46 states what
555
that's impossible 46 yeah who's well educated now mr. I forgot 10 states
556
give me another minute across
557
if you don't know them by now you will never know them okay
558
that is the beauty of this game it makes you want
559
to kill yourself this is crazy i can do this all
560
right uh i bet i can get all 50 uh before dinner okay
561
but if you can't no dinner you're on all right don't look at my list ross
562
because there's a lot on there that you don't have How can I not get this?
563
I'm a college professor.
564
I got $14 .50 on my SATs.
565
$12 .50.
566
Damn, I forgot you were here.
567
Ross, you need some help? From you?
568
Yes, please.
569
First of all, Utah?
570
Huh?
571
Dude, you can't just make stuff up.
572
I hate America.
573
When I finish this game, I swear, I am moving.
574
Okay, maybe this is so hard because there aren't 50 states.
575
Let me tell you something.
576
I have 49 states.
577
and there are no more I think I should be able to eat something it's up to you Delaware.
578
Delaware.
579
All right.
580
I want my turkey now.
581
You got it.
582
You got Nevada twice.
583
I know.
584
Yeah.
585
What is that?
586
I think it's the dying cat parade.
587
Sounds like it's coming from across the street.
588
Oh, my God.
589
What?
590
You know that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?
591
He was hanging out with me yesterday, and he turned to me and he said, You're half Scottish, right?
592
No. There's no way to not be Ross.
593
Why is your family Scottish?
594
why is your family Ross cannot play our wedding I mean everyone will leave I mean come on
595
that is just noise it's not even a song listen very carefully I think it's celebration by cool in the game
596
Well, I feel like a snack.
597
Do you want some shortbread?
598
It's Scottish, like you are.
599
Oh, no thanks.
600
I don't like anything from my Scottish heritage.
601
What?
602
Well, just my entire family was run out of Scotland by...
603
Vikings.
604
Well, it sounds to me like your family's ready to,
605
uh, rediscover its Scottish roots you can't play bagpipes at the wedding how did you know about
606
that we heard you play all the way from your apartment
607
were you the ones who called the cops that's not really important right now what is important is
608
while we appreciate the gesture We just don't feel that bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
609
Why not?
610
Because we hate them.
611
Just give me a chance to perform for you, and then decide whatever you want.
612
And I'm not going to tell you what song I'm going to play either, but let's just say when it's over, I'll bet there'll be a wee bit -o celebration.
613
Remember, Mom?
614
Still learning.
615
One, two, three, four.
616
You know the song.
617
See you along.
618
Hi.
619
Look, uh, I know why you're here.
620
You do?
621
Yeah.
622
And to save you from any embarrassment, I think maybe I should talk first.
623
Okay.
624
Okay.
625
Ross and Rachel Rachel and Ross That's been one heck of a seesaw hasn't it
626
What I mean look that that one night we had was fun and And certainly passionate,
627
but don't you think it's better if we just stay friends?
628
seriously what okay okay you know what if you want to we can do it one more time
629
i mean i i'd be okay with that in fact i have some time right now
630
you know what can i can i talk now oh sure okay I'm pregnant.
631
Ross.
632
Ross.
633
Okay, whenever you're ready.
634
And you're the father, by the way, but you got it.
635
Can I get you some water?
636
I'm good.
637
I'm good.
638
Ross, there is no pressure on you, okay?
639
I mean, you can be as involved as you want.
640
Yeah.
641
I, uh, I'm just, I don't know.
642
I don't understand.
643
Um, how this happened.
644
We used a condom.
645
I know.
646
I know, but, you know, condoms only work, like, 97 % of the time.
647
What?
648
What?
649
What?
650
well they should put that on the box they do no they don't
651
well they should put it in huge block letters okay Russ
652
come on let's just forget about the condom oh well i
653
may as well have listen you know what i was really freaked out too
654
when i found you i'm not freaked out i'm indignant as
655
a consumer you know what let's let's talk later no no
656
i want to talk now okay i'm in fact i want to talk to the president of the condom company.
657
Okay, you know what?
658
Maybe I should come back.
659
Shh.
660
Yeah, I'll press one.
661
Hi, Chandler Bing.
662
I have a reservation.
663
Welcome to the Chesson Inn, Mr. Bing.
664
So where are you joining us from?
665
New York.
666
The Big Apple.
667
I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up.
668
We had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.
669
I ate all my gifts for everybody.
670
I'm sorry, Mr. Bing there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
671
Well, that's impossible.
672
Can you check again, please?
673
Check again, please.
674
I'm sorry.
675
It's not here.
676
Not there.
677
Let me get this straight.
678
I called yesterday to try to cancel my reservation.
679
Was told it's not refundable.
680
Then we drove six hours all the way up here, and now you're telling me that we don't have a reservation?
681
I don't know what to say.
682
She doesn't know what to say.
683
Just give us the cheapest room you have.
684
Well, unfortunately, the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite.
685
The rate is $600.
686
That's insane.
687
It's totally insane.
688
Dude, let's drive home.
689
We'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back.
690
And if they're closed, then maybe we'll tap a tree and mix them ourselves.
691
Does that room have a closet I can lock him in?
692
We'll take it.
693
Great.
694
Look, they are totally ripping us off.
695
Dude, don't worry about it.
696
I know how we can make your money back.
697
This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities.
698
We just load up on those, like those apples.
699
Instead of taking one, um, I take six.
700
Great.
701
At $100 an apple, we're there.
702
Come on, you get the idea.
703
You know, we'll make our money back in no time.
704
Dude, you're shaking.
705
I think it's the sugar.
706
Could you hold the apple?
707
Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206.
708
Um, I seem to have forgotten a couple of things.
709
Could you have some complimentary toiletry sent up to my room?
710
Thank you.
711
Okay, uh, toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band -aids, shaving cream, aftershave.
712
And I feel like I'm forgetting something.
713
Um, is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already?
714
Yeah, go ahead, set up some tampons.
715
What'd you get?
716
USA Today.
717
Nice.
718
Put away the others.
719
And I also got two more apples.
720
Well, four short of a bushel.
721
God, I feel so alive.
722
I love being in the country.
723
Also got these great salt and pepper shakers from the restaurant.
724
Oh, that's not cool.
725
Dude, none of this is cool.
726
Look, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and -and taking what the hotel owes you.
727
Um, for example, a hairdryer?
728
No, no, no. But shampoos and conditioners?
729
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
730
Now, the -the salt shaker is off -limits, but the salt?
731
I wish I'd thought this through.
732
I think I get what you mean, though.
733
Like, the -the lamp is, uh, is the hotel's, but the bulbs...
734
Oh, you -you already got that?
735
Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.
736
Okay, uh, how about this?
737
No, no, no, you can't take the remote control.
738
Yes, but the batteries...
739
Thank you, thank you very much.
740
Oh, oh, oh, let's celebrate with some maple candy.
741
No!
742
At least tell me where you hit it.
743
Here's your copy of the bill.
744
We hope you enjoyed your stay.
745
Oh, we did.
746
And you still have all your lamps.
747
Well, I didn't factor in the room tax.
748
Oh, dude, don't worry about it.
749
I found an unattended maid's car.
750
We're way ahead of the game.
751
Oh, my God.
752
What?
753
There's something new in the bowl.
754
Look, we have enough.
755
Just walk away.
756
Oh, but I want...
757
I want the pine cones.
758
There's a forest right outside.
759
It's not the same.
760
Okay, go quick.
761
Oh, go!
762
Thank you for a delightful stay.
763
Oh, my maple candy!
764
All right, Mr. Geller, right this way.
765
so how dark do you want to be we have one two
766
or three well I like how you look what are you
767
Puerto Rican two I think you're gonna face the red light
768
when the red light goes on the spring's about to start
769
so close your eyes
770
and the spring stops count to five pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around
771
so we can get your back you got it spray count pat and turn spray count and pat.
772
Wow, you catch on quick.
773
Well, I have a PhD, so...
774
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Miss...
775
Wait!
776
Wait!
777
I'm not...
778
I'm not finished coding!
779
you sprayed my front twice you've never turned no i barely even got the three mississippi
780
mississippi i said count to five mississippi -lessly how bad is it not
781
that bad yet but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours
782
so how dark is it gonna get oh you gotta spray with two twos i'm a four yeah
783
but your back's a zero you're gonna want to even that out really
784
you might want to get back in there okay
785
wait wait a minute there's no light on the back wall how do i know when it's gonna start hello
786
The same thing happened again.
787
You got two more twos?
788
I'm an eight!
789
Hold on there's something different I went to
790
that tanning place your wife suggested was that place the Sun oh and it gets worse
791
oh my god you can do a duet of ebony
792
and ivory all by yourself how could you messed this up it's
793
so easy you go into the booth you count to five
794
and you turn around how do you count to five one
795
two three damn it yeah I know now let me explain how this works you go into the booth
796
and I'm gonna stop you right there Linda does it look
797
like this is my first time huh now I want four twos, and I want them all on my back.
798
Okay.
799
Wait a minute.
800
There's two sets of nozzles.
801
Which one is it?
802
Which, which, which, which one is it?
803
Oh, son of a bitch!
804
dude it's Chandler let me in go away I don't want
805
to see anybody I know I went to the tanning place
806
and the same thing happened to me you have to let me in really did you count Mississipally You're not tan?
807
No, I just had to get a picture of this.
808
I'll see you later.
809
Hey, you guys, I need some fashion advice.
810
Ow.
811
How does this look?
812
Well, it's a little low.
813
Pick it up a little.
814
A little bit more.
815
A little bit more.
816
There you go.
817
Now throw it away.
818
Come on, this looks good.
819
Ross, please trust me.
820
I buy 30 fashion magazines a month.
821
Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
822
Damn it.
823
I have this date tomorrow night, and I have to look cool.
824
Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow.
825
You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
826
Really?
827
that would be great i mean i have to do something
828
she kind of teased me about how i dress i can see why nice shirt you're wearing the same shirt
829
stupid gap on every corner
830
wow this place is awesome you know what we should just go i'm not gonna find any This stuff is ridiculous.
831
Oh, this place is great!
832
Wow.
833
Rach, come on.
834
I'm not gonna wear any of this.
835
Nothing silver.
836
Okay?
837
Nothing with hair.
838
And nothing with padlocks on it.
839
Ross, look, look, look.
840
I know that some of this stuff is out there, but, I mean, come on.
841
Look at this.
842
Look at this sweater.
843
I mean, this is just beautiful.
844
Wow.
845
This is really soft.
846
$350?
847
Down from $700?
848
You're saving, like, $200.
849
Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.
850
Hey, check this out.
851
It's totally you.
852
Wow.
853
Yeah.
854
Wow, actually, this looks pretty good.
855
Yeah.
856
Yeah.
857
Boys will be boys?
858
What?
859
They will be!
860
All right, that's it.
861
I'm getting mad at it.
862
No, no, no, Russ, wait.
863
Come on.
864
All right, you know what?
865
There's other stuff.
866
Here's some nice shirts.
867
Look at these nice pants.
868
Huh.
869
Actually, these might look pretty good on me.
870
Yes, they will.
871
You know what you should do?
872
Just go take a walk, all right?
873
I know your size, and I'm gonna pick out some really good stuff for you.
874
Really?
875
Yes, and I know what looks sexy on guys.
876
Please, just wear what I suggest, and she is gonna go nuts for you.
877
So you're saying, uh, if I wear these pants, so I might be getting into hers.
878
Why do men keep talking to me like this?
879
Really?
880
Great stuff.
881
Yeah.
882
Yeah, but I'm not sure about some of the bras I got.
883
Oh, really?
884
Do you want to try some of them on for me?
885
Oh, okay.
886
Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
887
Oh, no. I took one of Ross' bags by mistake.
888
And one of mine is missing.
889
Oh, well, Ross probably has it.
890
You can get it from him later. So?
891
What do you think?
892
Think we're not wearing the same shirt anymore.
893
Yeah.
894
Yeah, Rachel picked it out for me.
895
She told me to trust her, and you know what?
896
I'm glad I did.
897
I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
898
dude i really don't think you should be wearing that
899
oh i see somebody's afraid of a little competition with the ladies looks like someone is the ladies
900
you're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off yeah now if you'll excuse me i have a date
901
see all eyes on me Wow, this place looks great.
902
Oh, you are going to love it.
903
And I'm so glad we're finally doing this.
904
Me too.
905
Here. So this was fun.
906
I mean, my mom never thought this would work out.
907
She was all, once a cheater, always a cheater.
908
Mm -hmm.
909
Oh, I just wish we hadn't lost those four months.
910
But if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
911
We were on a break!
912
Clocking house?
913
You bet.
914
and for the record it took two people to break up this relationship yeah you
915
and that girl from the coffee place
916
which yesterday you took full responsibility for I didn't know what
917
I was taking responsibility for okay I didn't finish the whole
918
letter what I fell asleep you fell asleep it was 5 30 in the morning
919
and you had rambled on for 18 pages front and back
920
and by the way y -o -u apostrophe r -e means you are y -o -u -r means you're
921
you know i can't believe i even thought of getting back together with you we are so over
922
fine by me those little spelling tips will come in handy
923
when you're at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica sorry I just feel bad about all
924
that sleep you're gonna miss wishing you were with me oh
925
no no don't you worry about me falling asleep I still have your letter
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “The Funny Ones with Ross”. This video has 923 sentences and 6624 words to shadow. The speech runs for 59:30. The speaker talks at a steady 111 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. 82% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start. 154 of its 923 sentences are questions, so it is good practice for question intonation and short answers.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| ross noun | A swamp. | |
| chandler noun | /ˈt͡ʃændlɚ/ | A person who makes or sells candles. |
| pants noun | /pænts/ | An outer garment that covers the body from the waist downwards, covering each leg separately, usually as far as the ankles; trousers. |
| pottery noun | /ˈpɑtəɹi/ | Fired ceramic wares that contain clay when formed. |
| juice noun | /d͡ʒuːs/ | A liquid made from plant, especially fruit. |
| reservation noun | /ˌɹɛz.ɚˈveɪ.ʃən/ | The act of reserving, withholding or keeping back. |
| sheet noun | /ʃit/ | A thin bed cloth used as a covering for a mattress or as a layer over the sleeper. |
| candy noun | /ˈkæn.di/ | Crystallized sugar formed by boiling down sugar syrup. |
| powder noun | /ˈpaʊ.dɚ/ | The fine particles which are the result of reducing a dry substance by pounding, grinding, or triturating, or the result of decay; dust. |
| maple noun | /ˈmeɪpl̩/ | Any member of any species of genus Acer, characterized by (usually) palmate, five-lobed leaves and winged seeds, and often grown for syrup or wood |
| steal verb | /stiːl/ | To take illegally, or without the owner's permission, something owned by someone else without intending to return it. |
| asleep adjective | /əˈsliːp/ | In a state of sleep; also, broadly, resting. |
| twin noun | /twɪn/ | Either of two people (or, less commonly, animals) who shared the same uterus at the same time; one who was born at the same birth as a sibling. |
| spray noun | /spɹeɪ/ | A fine, gentle, dispersed mist of liquid. |
| squeeze verb | /skwiːz/ | To apply pressure (to something) from two or more sides at once. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| break up verb | To break or separate into pieces. | |
| find out verb | To discover, as by asking or investigating. | |
| come out verb | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | To be discovered; to be revealed. |
| get back verb | Return to where one came from. | |
| go ahead verb | /ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/ | To proceed with; to begin. |
| go over verb | To look at carefully; to scrutinize; to analyze. | |
| rip off verb | To pull off by ripping. | |
| turn around verb | To physically rotate (usually around a vertical axis) for a half turn (180 degrees), a whole turn (360 degrees), or an indefinite amount. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Can we just close the door?
- Do you see me going nuts?
- Are you sure he didn't break it?
- Why don't we talk about you a little bit?
- Let's talk more about you, hmm?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | if i hadn't walked in here would you · if they're closed, then maybe we'll tap |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | You've slept · have left · have made |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | were infected · must be stuck · be prepared |
| Past continuous was/were + -ing — an action in progress at a moment in the past | weren't doing · were doing · was just saying |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 268 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: booth /buθ/, leather /ˈlɛðɚ/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: reservation /ˌɹɛz.ɚˈveɪ.ʃən/, sheet /ʃit/, celebration /ˌsɛl.ɪˈbɹeɪ.ʃən/, shake /ˈʃeɪk/, chef /ʃɛf/
- Long words — get the stress right: reservation /ˌɹɛz.ɚˈveɪ.ʃən/, celebration /ˌsɛl.ɪˈbɹeɪ.ʃən/, ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, imagination /ɪˌmæd͡ʒəˈneɪʃən/, marijuana /ˌmɛɹɪˈwɑ.nə/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like ross, chandler, pants.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.