Shadowing Practice: The Secret to Great Public Speaking (No, It's Not Confidence) | Jess Ekstrom | TEDxSugar Creek Women - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

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As a kid, do you remember the absolute adrenaline rush of hearing the ice cream truck?
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As a kid, do you remember the absolute adrenaline rush of hearing the ice cream truck?
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I lived at the top of my neighborhood,
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so I took it as my civic duty to hop on my bike and alert the rest of the kids.
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Looking back on this experience,
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did I care how I looked,
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frantically knocking on people's doors during dinnertime, drenched in sweat?
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No. Did I care how I sounded shrieking,
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the ice cream truck is coming,
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smash your piggy banks, grab your flavors?
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No. Why didn't I care?
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Because I knew I had critical information.
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that they wanted to know.
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So public speaking wasn't about me.
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It was the information I had that I knew could serve them.
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With AI on the rise,
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to say lightly, public speaking and human-to-human connection is becoming increasingly important.
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Sure, you can go on ChatGPT to help craft an email to your boss asking for a raise.
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But what about when she calls you into her office to discuss.
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You can't interrupt her mid-sentence and go to AI and be like, Line?
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Public speaking is becoming increasingly more important,
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whether it is giving a presentation to your peers,
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talking to your spouse, or working up the courage to call your favorite restaurant for takeout because they're not on Uber Eats.
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Public speaking is the fuse that brings us all together.
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It's also the gateway to opportunity.
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The first step in a multi-million dollar deal,
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or a partner saying yes to a proposal
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or landing your dream opportunity was someone out there who knew how to deliver what they wanted to say
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so why do people fear public speaking more than they fear sharks spiders and heights
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or as Jerry Seinfeld says most people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy at the funeral
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because public speaking is one of the most vulnerable exposed human experiences.
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Personally, I blame school spelling bees or performances where we felt like we couldn't miss a letter,
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that we had to deliver every line perfectly.
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But the standard of perfection puts our nerves into a pressure cooker.
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And so we've been told to combat our nerves,
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especially as women, to just speak up.
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Stand tall.
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Or my favorite one, take up space.
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But what this kind of advice does is it shifts the attention back onto ourselves,
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which is ineffective.
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Great speakers believe they are delivering great information,
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whether it is about an ice cream truck or about something that'll increase your lifespan.
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But the other thing that we get wrong is we believe that in order to be a great public speaker,
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you have to be the center of attention.
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You have to be the loudest one in the room with the most boisterous personality,
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or you have to have the super dramatic story about how you single-handedly saved a species on the verge of extinction,
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or how you climbed Mount Everest blindfolded.
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So it makes us believe that inherently extroverts are great speakers and introverts aren't.
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But I deeply identify as an introvert.
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And here I am standing on this stage talking to you.
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So let me tell you my experience.
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I've made a career out of public speaking,
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both speaking at companies and conferences all over the world,
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or teaching it to women through my company.
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But like anything you eventually become decent at,
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you have to flop before you can fly.
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And boy, did I flop.
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Because you see, I thought that public speaking was about convincing people that you deserved to be there,
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that you deserved to be worthy of their attention.
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And so anytime I would get in front of people,
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I would just like fire hose my resume or accolades
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or press or name drop someone that I was in the room with for like more than two seconds.
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Because that's what I thought that public speaking was was about showing them that I was important.
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And as you might guess, it wasn't landing.
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And so what did I do?
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I started to study other speakers.
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And I was like, why am I seeing speakers lose their train of thought on stage
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or stumble over a word and still get standing ovations?
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Or why did I trip going up to the stage for the whole audience to see my Spanx?
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And I still had women wanting to talk to me afterwards.
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Because being relatable doesn't make you unreliable.
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It makes you a great speaker that is wired for connection.
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The pressure to be impressive creates fear within ourselves,
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lack of authenticity in our delivery,
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and drives a wedge between the speaker and the listener.
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I mean, let's be honest,
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we've all been sitting across the table from someone who is 45 minutes into their monologue,
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hasn't asked us a single question yet,
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our coffee is empty,
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and we are knee deep into hearing every detail of the story about how they actually had the idea for Uber first.
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If only their college roommate didn't steal their whiteboard, you know.
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Public speaking isn't about showing that you're important.
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It's about proving to your audience or your listener that they are important.
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Which brings me to my secret.
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If you want to be a great public speaker, ask yourself one question.
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Where are you shining your light?
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I have determined there are two types of public speakers.
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You have a spotlight speaker and you have a lighthouse speaker.
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A spotlight speaker, the light is shining on you.
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You are concerned with public perception.
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You are asking yourselves, how do I look?
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How do I sound?
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Does everyone like me?
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And it's not your fault because that's what we've been conditioned to believe that public speaking is,
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being in the spotlight.
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But a lighthouse speaker shifts the light from themselves to their listener.
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If a spotlight asks, what does everyone think of me?
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Then a lighthouse asks, what does everyone need of me?
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When you're a lighthouse speaker,
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not only you're going to be more impactful,
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you're not going to get as nervous because it's not about achieving perfection,
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it's about helping someone arrive at a solution.
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We would all rather be guided by a lighthouse than a spotlight,
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which proves that likability as a speaker doesn't come from being perfect.
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It doesn't come from projecting some sort of forced confidence.
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It comes from when you have a clear understanding of what your listener needs
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and a rooted belief in what you know that can help.
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So, if you want to be a great public speaker,
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before you speak, ask yourself one question.
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Where are you shining your light?
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Thank you.

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Why practice speaking with this video?

Practicing speaking through Jess Ekstrom's TEDx talk, "The Secret to Great Public Speaking," allows English learners to engage with crucial communication skills. This video highlights the essential role of public speaking in our personal and professional lives. Understanding that it’s not merely about confidence but rather about conveying valuable information shifts the focus from self-consciousness to audience engagement. By shadowing this video, you will improve your English speaking practice skills, enhance your ability to connect with others, and build the competence needed to articulate your thoughts clearly. The content shows that effective communication opens doors to opportunities, making it vital for your English language journey.

Grammar & Expressions in Context

Ekstrom’s talk uses several useful structures and expressions that can enhance your speaking capabilities:

  • “Did I care how I sounded?” - This rhetorical question emphasizes self-awareness, a key component in effective communication.
  • “It’s about proving to your audience that they are important.” - This phrase encourages prioritizing audience connection, making your speech more relatable.
  • “The pressure to be impressive creates fear.” - This expression articulates a common barrier to effective public speaking, helping you frame discussions around anxiety.
  • “Where are you shining your light?” - This metaphor can inspire learners to reflect on their unique strengths and how to express them in their speeches.

By practicing these phrases through shadow speech techniques, you can significantly improve your IELTS speaking practice and overall fluency.

Common Pronunciation Traps

As you practice with this talk, pay attention to certain words and phrases that may pose pronunciation challenges:

  • “Public Speaking” - The 'p' and 's' sounds need to be clear; practice emphasizing both consonants.
  • “Opportunity” - This word has multiple syllables, and the accent should be on the third syllable; try it slowly first.
  • “Vulnerable” - Make sure to stress the second syllable and soften the 'v' sound.
  • “Authenticity” - Focus on the 'th' sound, which can be tricky for many learners; practice voicing it distinctly.

This shadowing method enables you to improve English pronunciation and ensure that you deliver your messages with confidence and clarity in any speaking context.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

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