Shadowing Practice: What does a parent owe their child? | The Gray Area - Learn English Speaking with Video

Hey, it's Sean.

Today we're bringing you an episode from another podcast we love, Vox's Unexplainable.

It's a show about all the mysteries we haven't solved yet and all the questions we are still struggling to answer.

In this episode, host Noam Hassenfeld and Vox reporter Seagal Samuel debate the ethics of genetic screening.

As technology increasingly gives us the power to shape and influence future lives, Noam and Seagal wrestle with the question,

what exactly does a parent owe a child?

It's a very gray area question and one I think will only become more

and more urgent as we lunge into this very strange, very uncertain future.

Anyway, it's a great episode.

I hope you dig it and I'll see you on the next one.

I am someone who is a little bit obsessed with always trying to do the right thing.

That's Vox reporter Seagal Samuel.

Not just like the good thing, but the most good thing.

And I just found in the past few years that that was really making me kind of pretty unhappy.

Like it was torturing me somewhat.

Because often it's just impossible to optimize moral life, and it's exhausting and misery-inducing to try.

Seagal needed a way out.

So she decided to start an advice column, something she thought could help her with her own ethical dilemmas.

Seagal's column is called Your Mileage May Vary.

And it's pretty untraditional for an advice column, because it's oriented around this particular philosophical idea called value pluralism.

The premise there is that each of us contains multiple values, multiple things we hold dear.

And awkwardly, those values are often in tension with each other.

It's not like one of them is dumb and one of them is the right one.

You might have conflicting values in a situation like honesty versus loyalty or, you know, honesty versus kindness.

Those are all good values, but what do you do when they conflict?

I wanted to talk to Seagal because her column kind of feels like a kindred spirit to Unexplainable.

She's way more interested in how to think about a question than she is about figuring out the exact answer.

She tackles huge questions, and she brings in wisdom from everywhere.

Ancient Greece, early Islam, Enlightenment philosophy, bloggers.

But for this episode, I wanted to focus on a particularly fascinating question about having kids.

So this is the question from a reader.

My partner and I did IVF recently, and luckily we ended up with several embryos.

One of those will be implanted in me, so I hopefully get pregnant.

But which one?

My fertility clinic is encouraging me to do PGTA testing, which would screen for things like Down syndrome,

and would also let me see the sex of each embryo so I could potentially choose whichever I want.

And to be honest, I really want a girl.

I'm also hearing about these new companies that can test embryos for all kinds of things, like how smart the kid might be,

how tall they'll get, whether they'll have a lower chance of getting breast cancer, diabetes, mental illness.

I don't know how to feel about any of this.

On the one hand, it feels weirdly eugenics-y to do so much tinkering with embryos,

and I can't help feeling a little pressured into over-medicalizing everything with these expensive tests.

But then again, if I could do something to make my baby healthier and happier, don't I kind of have to do everything in my power?

What does a parent owe their child?

Yeah.

It's such a weighty question.

What did you first think when you read this?

I mean, to be honest, my first thought was like, oh man, that sentence, like, don't I have to do everything in my power?

Yeah.

Really, that's the moral optimization thing that I've struggled with for years.

Like, don't I have to do the best thing, not just a good thing?

It's my child we're talking about.

Don't I need to do the best I possibly can for them?

So I really right away, like, felt for this person.

On the one hand, feeling pressured and feeling like, oh, I don't want to over-medicalize everything.

but on the other hand, like, maybe I'm supposed to be over-medicalizing this, like, it's my child's future.

But the tacit thing that I hear behind this question is guilt and shame.

I think new parents, and especially, like, expectant mothers, are, like, subjected to a lot of social scrutiny and shaming.

So I think the context here that's unspoken in this question is, like, your kid isn't even out in the world yet, but already you're a bad parent somehow.

How exactly do these screenings lower risk?

Do they do sort of a profile of various embryos and then you kind of get to pick your favorite?

Yes.

Basically, what these companies will do is, let's say you've done IVF and you've managed to get, I don't know, 10 embryos.

Amazing.

Mazel tov.

Great.

They are going to create a profile for each of your embryos.

They're going to give you like a little chart and it's going to say like embryo 1, 2, 3, 4, blah, blah, blah.

And for each embryo, they're going to say, this one, 12% more risk of diabetes, but minus 13% risk of schizophrenia.

Increased IQ potentially on the horizon, but, ooh, higher risk of diabetes, right?

So they're going to give you that profile for each of the embryos.

And what do we know about the tests?

Like, how do they actually work?

Okay, so we should differentiate between a couple different kinds of tests, right?

Okay.

So the first test that this person mentions, PGTA, is a pretty simple test.

It's been around since the 90s.

It can screen for conditions like Down syndrome.

It can let you see the sex of each embryo.

It's pretty common.

The more new and controversial testing is called polygenic testing.

And that is something that tests for very complex conditions that are influenced by thousands of genes.

So we're talking about like depression, breast cancer, but also selecting for a taller kid or a kid with a higher IQ.

So it's a lot more complex.

And stuff like IQ and depression, are these based on genetic markers?

So there is, for depression, a strong genetic component.

IQ also has a strong genetic component.

There's a lot of unknowns.

A lot of what we have is sort of correlational evidence.

Causal is harder, particularly with something like intelligence.

A lot of people have overemphasized how much we know genetically about this.

And they've tried to say, like, if you know XYZ about the genes, you can pretty well predict the intelligence.

I think there's a lot of researchers now who will tell you, like, no, actually, we really don't know, like, the interplay with environments and other things.

So it's a lot more complicated of a story than some genetics-based companies might have you believe.

And how accurate are they?

So it depends what you're testing for.

So sometimes people want to know the risk of each embryo for diabetes, maybe a BRCA mutation that someone might end up getting breast cancer.

That, broadly speaking, is going to be more accurate than psychiatric conditions, which these polygenic tests tend to not perform as well on.

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These are conditions that are influenced by multiple genes.

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So it's not like you turn on this one gene, boom, we know it has X effect.

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Right.

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I also think it's very important to understand the statistical claims are a little tricky here.

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So they can claim that if you choose a certain embryo, it'll have a 12% lower risk than others of developing type 2 diabetes.

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You might hear that and you might think, oh my God, that's amazing.

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The chance of my kid ever developing diabetes just went down by 12%.

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Yeah.

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But it's not like an on-off switch that's so just like black or white, you have it or you don't, right?

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Things are often on a continuum.

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So if you hear that, really what it means is like a kid that might have developed diabetes is likely now at the high end of pre-diabetes,

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or they're going to develop diabetes, but just a few years later than they otherwise would have.

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The same thing for breast cancer, right?

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Yes, you'd rather the kid develop it later if they're going to develop it, but it's not like a bill of perfect health that the customer might be imagining when they hear these claims.

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So they're kind of framing it in a sense of the kid won't get diabetes

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or they'll be less likely to get it.

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And what you're saying is that they just might spend less of their life with diabetes.

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Yeah.

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I think the statistical claims here are very confusing, even for experts, nevermind lay people.

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So I think it's like really important to understand it doesn't mean the embryo is not going to get this thing, right?

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It means conditions are on a continuum.

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It's not like one day you wake up out of nothing.

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Suddenly you have like full-blown diabetes.

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There's pre-diabetic, right?

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Like there's a whole continuum.

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And it's also worth noting like mental health conditions are on a continuum, right?

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You can have, let's say, depression.

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It could be mild, moderate, severe.

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So that's also something to think about.

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Yeah.

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It feels like diabetes or, you know, a BRCA mutation for breast cancer or some of these more concrete things,

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they feel very different from an IQ score or depression or other psychiatric disorders,

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which are both maybe more diffuse and maybe more socially, culturally related.

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Yes.

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I think that's such an important point.

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No one is like sitting there pining, oh, I wish I had cancer.

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It's like, no, it just, you don't want it.

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It's bad.

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You don't cancer but mental health conditions are a little trickier like i'm someone who has anxiety

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and some obsessive tendencies sometimes that's incredibly annoying for my life

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but in my experience i also feel like it's correlated with my creativity

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because i feel like the same kind of thing in my brain

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that leads me into like rabbit holes of worry also leads

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me into rabbit holes of i've just just found out this cool scientific fact.

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Now I want to go into the wee hours of the morning researching it and then write a children's book about it.

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Yeah, I feel the same.

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I mean, I have OCD and I hate it.

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And then there are often times when it definitely feels like a superpower

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that I can hyper-focus or I can hear details

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or I can like obsess over something to a point that I can make it perfect.

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And you can work on improving a mental health condition.

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You can work on emphasizing the pros and de-emphasizing the negatives.

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But if someone came to me and gave me a magic wand to just eliminate all of it, that seems harder.

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That seems like a harder decision.

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Yeah, same.

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Like, if someone gave me the magic wand and told me I could eliminate my stuff, like, I would say no thanks.

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I don't want to romanticize these conditions.

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Like, you know, sometimes stuff can be really hard, but on balance, like, no, I wouldn't just be like, let's wave a magic wand and get rid of it.

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So I don't think I would want to do that for a baby either.

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Coming up in a minute, what should the parent do?

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Yeah, I mean, that's where it gets really complicated and hard.

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And this is where a lot of people are going to start fighting.

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So let's talk about the should part of this question.

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Like, should this person select for the best possible baby?

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I wonder if you can start with the argument for it.

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Where would you start there?

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Yeah, so I think the first thing is a scientific issue.

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It has a bit of a funny name.

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It's called pleiotropy.

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It's basically a fancy way of saying that we know not that much about which genes cause what.

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You might have a gene that's correlated with, let's say, depression.

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but it might also be correlated with a bunch of other things.

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So if everyone were to suddenly start selecting embryos to try to prevent their kids from getting depression, we don't actually know what would happen on a population level.

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It's possible other traits might be impacted.

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There does seem to be a general trend that, you know, decreasing the risk for like one disease also goes along with decreasing risk for other diseases.

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But it still worries me somewhat but because there's a lot we don't know.

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I also wonder how much this stuff costs.

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Like, would this only be available to rich people?

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So right now, polygenic testing is not cheap.

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One company, for example, Orchid, it charges $2,500 per screened embryo.

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So if you test 10 embryos, that's going to run you $25,000.

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Right.

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So in the short term, at least, that does raise the specter of entrenching some kind of caste system where you get this growing gap between rich

199

and poor people because the rich people get to have the babies that are smarter, stronger, healthier, and the poorer people don't.

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And there might just be kind of pressure on people with less money to spend their life savings onto things like this.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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And that's actually my concern about the longer term, especially.

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So technologies do tend to get cheaper as they mature.

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So it is conceivable that in 10, 20 years, we'll have a way to do this kind of polygenic screening that is not 2,500 bucks a pop.

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but that still raises what I would call the specter of implicit coercion.

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So I actually get more worried about this when it becomes cheaper.

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If it's cheap enough that, you know, Joe Schmo can do it, then you start to have this cross society trend of lots and lots and lots of people are doing it.

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And now if you don't do that for your kid, you kind of start to feel like you're putting them at a massive professional and educational disadvantage.

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So that creates a risk of implicit coercion

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which i do think is is worrisome yeah

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and from the perspective of the child i don't know unless

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your parent lies to you later on you know you're gonna

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know like this kind of testing was done to arrive at the you

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that you became yeah and you might feel some type of way about it

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so for example you can find out the sex of the

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baby the question asker in the column said to be honest i really want a girl

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so i'm really tempted but like what

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if you you really want a girl oh you select for the one

219

that says it's going to be a girl 10 years later 20 years later the kid says actually i'm trans

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and i you know i don't identify as a girl

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and then they're going to know unless you lie to them

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that you went out of your way to choose a girl

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and it was

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so important to you to have a girl they have this

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sense of my parents spent tens of thousands of dollars trying to achieve this consumer good

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and they're they might feel like oh i extra feel like

227

a disappointment to you now yeah i mean kids have to deal with enough disappointing their parents all the time Right, right.

228

I worry, like, this is going to create a lot of therapy sessions on, like, topics we haven't had to deal with before.

229

Okay, and then I think kind of, like, hovering over this whole conversation is the idea of eugenics.

230

Yep.

231

Is there a concern about removing certain types of, like, just real— Human experience?

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Yeah, removing human experience from the equation.

233

I think absolutely.

234

I think, you know, this is sort of, like, the— extension of a problem that already exists, you know, in terms of, let's say, conditions like Down syndrome,

235

which are screened for so commonly now.

236

And, you know, that's really ethically questionable because even

237

if we come to a place where we feel confident that for you as an individual, polygenic screening is going to lead to a better outcome for your individual kid,

238

we still have to look at on the population level, what does this mean for society?

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If more and more people start using this technology.

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You start to get questions about removing entire swaths of human experience from the world.

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And I don't know, I think that when you have conditions that are very compatible with a happy life, that are just like, you know, okay, someone has anxiety, someone has this, someone has that.

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There's pros and cons to it.

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That is much more of an open question, I would say.

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So clearly there are arguments against this.

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At the same time, I don't want to make it seem like this is an obvious decision.

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You clearly don't think this is an obvious decision.

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What are the arguments in favor of selecting for babies?

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I think the argument in favor pulls a lot from this intuition that probably a lot of us have, which is like, look, it's your kid.

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Like, surely you want to do the best you can for your kid, right?

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Like, of course you want them to have the best possible life they can possibly have.

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And you have some philosophers like Julian Savalescu,

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for example, who argue that parents have a moral obligation to create children with the best chance of the best life.

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And you see this argument echoed in the founders of some of these polygenic testing companies.

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So for example, Noor Siddiqui, who heads up the company Orchid, one of the polygenic testing companies,

255

she talks a lot about protecting your kids from various health conditions, talking about some kind of health problem down the line.

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She'll say, what if you could have stopped it, but chose not to?

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I do find myself compelled by some of this.

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Yes.

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As someone who's about to be a parent.

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Yeah.

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You know, I'm an Ashkenazi Jew.

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When Ashkenazi Jews have kids with other Ashkenazi Jews, it's kind of like default to go get tested for Tay-Sachs,

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which is this, you know, debilitating, fatal disease.

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And it just makes me think that, okay, there is a universe where it feels very simple.

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But how do you weigh the potential benefits of protecting your child,

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of trying to give them the best life against the potential downsides of commodifying our relationship to our kids,

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of causing an unknown reaction that we're not aware of?

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I go back to Herbert Simon, who who is a Nobel laureate in economics

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and in a way the granddaddy of a lot of our kind of maximizing, optimizing talk.

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And he came up with this term that I absolutely love, which is satisficing.

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That's a portmanteau of satisfying and sufficing.

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And that is meant to describe opting for the good enough choice.

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He said that, look, like many problems in life just contain way more variables

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and way too much uncertainty for maximizing along any one axis to be a feasible or even desirable thing.

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So often it just makes sense to go with an option that is good enough, you know, to satisfy.

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And to me, satisficing in the context of like thinking about the genetic lottery for your child means,

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yeah, let's prevent them from having debilitating things like Tay-Sachs, Because that doesn't feel good enough for your child.

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But maybe we don't need to try to make them the tall, blue-eyed Adonis.

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That doesn't feel like satisficing anymore.

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So what did you tell the person who wrote in?

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I told them, look, I'm not going to tell you, you shouldn't do this kind of screening ever.

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I think it depends on the situation.

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It depends what you're screening for, what's your story.

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But what I would say is do not let yourself be bullied or shamed by others, especially if they have a profit incentive to push you to do a certain test, right?

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I think that when someone who runs a company says, what if you could have stopped it, but you chose not to?

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Give us money.

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Yeah, that's preying on your worst fears and insecurities as a prospective parent.

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And it's kind of holding parents hostage to a moral logic that pretends to be giving them more autonomy,

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but actually it's robbing you of autonomy because it's saying you must do this kind of testing on your child.

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And I just want prospective parents to feel like, look, you are nobody's hostage.

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You can look at the many different relevant factors in your family's life, weigh all of them in the balance, and then make the choice that works good enough for your family.

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What did people think about the advice you gave?

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Did you hear from any readers?

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So there are a lot of people in my Twitter orbit who are very like into polygenic testing.

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So they have argued with me a bunch.

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But I also got a really touching email from a mother of a child with Down syndrome.

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And she said, look, like I made the choice years ago to go ahead and have this child.

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A lot of other people are just not going forward with pregnancies

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when they found out the kid will have down syndrome i went ahead

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and had this kid and like i'm

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so happy i love my kid we have a great life like yeah not everything is peaches

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and roses all the time but i think it's totally compatible with a happy life

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and i see that in my child's life

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and in my life as a parent and

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so thank you for pointing out that these conditions

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that we've societally come to think are like oh just screen out

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and nix them from the get-go thank you for being willing to consider That actually, a lot of conditions are like in this zone where, yeah, there's some hard stuff about it,

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but there can also be some beautiful stuff about it.

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Yeah.

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Maybe we don't need to be

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so quick to get rid of all possible swaths of human experience that look a little bit different.

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I mean, it just makes me think of trying to have a goal of humility when you want to say,

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let's give my child the best chance at the best life.

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Yeah.

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maybe being humble about what we think of as the best life.

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Yeah.

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And if we're overconfident in what we think of as best, I don't know, life surprises you in a lot of ways.

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I think that's really, really true.

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I think we are deeply confused as a species about what is the good.

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The whole history of philosophy is one long lesson in, we don't know what the good is, and we're deeply confused about it.

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So I don't want to necessarily presume to know for my kid what's going to be the most beautiful kind of life.

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who also wrote the music.

323

He is out for now because in the time since we taped this episode, he has become a parent.

324

Congrats to Noam and the whole family.

325

This episode was edited by Joanna Salataroff with help from Meredith Hotnot.

326

Mixing and sound design from Christian Ayala.

327

Fact-checking from Melissa Hirsch.

328

Julia Longoria and Jorge Just are our editorial directors.

329

Amy Padula gives great advice.

330

I'm Sally Helm, and I jump in to record the credits when necessary.

331

Bird Pinkerton was confused.

332

Can't you just get any guitar?

333

Platy shook her head.

334

You think it's easy to be a platypus playing a guitar?

335

You think I can just buy a platypus guitar at Guitar Center?

336

If you are ever going to put this guitar back together, you'll need to find the man who made it.

337

Thanks to Brian Resnick for co-creating the show with Bird and Noam.

338

And if any of you out there have thoughts about the show, send us an email.

339

We are at unexplainable at Vox.com.

340

You can also leave us a review or a rating wherever you listen, which really helps us out.

341

And if you are into supporting the show and all of Vox in general, join our membership program.

342

You can go to Vox.com slash members to sign up.

343

Unexplainable is part of the Vox Media Podcast Network, and we'll see you next time.

344

Thanks for watching.

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Each week we'll be in your audio and video feeds with great interviews and a philosophy-minded look at tech, culture, politics, and much more.

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Episodes of The Gray Area drop on Mondays and Fridays on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

347

As always, we want to know what you thought of the episode, so drop us a line at thegrayareaatvox.com.

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And if you enjoy our reporting and want to hear more from Vox journalists,

349

then consider becoming a member of the Vox community on Patreon at patreon.com slash Vox.

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This C1 speaking lesson is built on the video “What does a parent owe their child?”. This video has 349 sentences and 4448 words to shadow. The speech runs for 26:09. The speaker talks at a natural 170 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 82% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
embryo noun	/ˈɛmbɹi.oʊ/	In the reproductive cycle, the stage after the fertilization of the egg that precedes the development into a fetus.
polygenic adjective		controlled by the interaction of more than one gene
continuum noun	/kənˈtɪnjuəm/	A continuous series or whole, no part of which is noticeably different from its adjacent parts, although the ends or extremes of it are very different from…
unexplainable adjective	/ˌʌn.ɛksˈpleɪ.nə.bl̩/	That doesn't have a known or readily available explanation.
correlate verb	/ˈkɔɹəleɪt/	To compare things and bring them into a relation having corresponding characteristics.
satisficing adjective		Both satisfying and sufficient.
wand noun	/wɑnd/	A hand-held narrow rod, usually used for pointing or instructing, or as a traditional emblem of authority.
coercion noun	/koʊˈɝʒən/	Actual or threatened force for the purpose of compelling action by another person; the act of coercing.
debilitate verb	/dəˈbɪləteɪt/	To make feeble; to weaken.
eugenics noun	/juːˈd͡ʒɛnɪks/	A social philosophy or practice which advocates the improvement of human hereditary qualities through selective breeding, either by encouraging people with…
implicit adjective	/ɪmˈplɪsɪt/	Suggested indirectly, without being directly expressed; Implied.
medicalize verb	/ˈmɛdɪkəlaɪz/	To make medical; to convert or reduce to a branch of medicine; especially, to pathologize.
platypus noun	/ˈplætɪˌpʊs/	A semiaquatic monotreme from eastern Australia with a bill resembling that of a duck, that has a mole-like body, a tail resembling that of a beaver, a…
specter noun	/ˈspɛktɚ/	A ghostly apparition, a phantom.
swath noun	/swɑθ/	The track cut out by a scythe in mowing.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
find out verb		To discover, as by asking or investigating.
go ahead verb	/ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/	To proceed with; to begin.
come up with verb		To manage to produce, deliver, or present (something) by inventing, creating, thinking of, or obtaining it.
end up verb		To bring to a conclusion.
figure out verb		To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce.
go along with verb		To acquiesce to or comply with a proposal, despite lacking a desire or value for it.
go away verb		To depart or leave a place.
go back to verb		To stem from; to originate in.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

What did you first think when you read this?
Don't I need to do the best I possibly can for them?
Where would you start there?
What did people think about the advice you gave?
Can't you just get any guitar?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	is called · will be implanted · are influenced
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	haven't solved · I've struggled · you've done
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	someone who is · someone who has · have, which is

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 88 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: swath /swɑθ/, ethical /ˈɛθɪkəl/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: coercion /koʊˈɝʒən/, mutation /mjuˈteɪʃən/, socially /ˈsoʊʃəli/, equation /ɪˈkweɪ.ʒən/, obligation /ˌɑ.blɪˈɡeɪ.ʃn̩/
Long words — get the stress right: unexplainable /ˌʌn.ɛksˈpleɪ.nə.bl̩/, debilitate /dəˈbɪləteɪt/, medicalize /ˈmɛdɪkəlaɪz/, autonomy /ɔˈtɑ.nə.mi/, psychiatric /ˌsaɪ.kiˈæt.ɹɪk/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like embryo, polygenic, continuum.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

Grammar in this video

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?