Shadowing Practice: Why Being Single is Better Than You Think - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt lonelier than when you were single?
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Like you're physically with someone, yet emotionally you're miles apart, longing for a deeper connection.
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If so, you're not alone.
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Studies show that one in four people in long -term relationships report feeling lonely, even when they're with someone that they claim to love.
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Relationships aren't always the happily ever after that were promised, but solitude for most people doesn't seem to provide a palatable alternative.
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So what's worse?
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Choosing solitude or staying stuck in something that drains you?
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And why are we so afraid of being alone in the first place?
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In this video, we'll explore why being alone might actually be the best decision to make
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and how it can lead to freedom, fulfillment, and self -discovery.
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Along the way, we'll uncover the truths about societal pressures that make us chase relationships, the science behind why solitude can be empowering,
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and some surprising ways being alone can teach us what we truly want in life.
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There's this feeling that you will most likely experience at least once in your life.
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It's the feeling of being at a party, completely surrounded by people, smiling, chatting, yet feeling completely invisible.
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Maybe you try to talk about a new interest, but you're met with that look you know the one a subtle disinterested glance of disdain one
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that might make you feel small unwanted or out of place now imagine
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that same feeling in your own home with the person who's
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supposed to know you better than anyone it's a quiet kind of loneliness the kind
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that sneaks up on you over time at first it's the
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little things fewer conversations less laughter now the silence feels louder than words.
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You're together, sure, but it was never the kind of together that you dreamed of.
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The truth is, being in the wrong relationship can feel lonelier than being single.
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There's the emotional drain of constantly questioning every move you make.
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Am I at fault?
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What did I do wrong?
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Why can't I make this work?
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Soon enough, you'll be dealing with the psychological weight of walking on eggshells to keep the peace.
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For some, it's even worse, taking the form of manipulation, gaslighting, or emotional neglect that chip away at your sense of self.
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And before you know it, any semblance of individuality disappears.
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You become so self -critical that it consumes everything else in your life.
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Your YouTube homepage starts to slowly turn from your hobbies to relationship hacks and secrets to keep your partner happy.
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Your relationship stops being a nourishment to your life
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and starts being more like a chore being in the wrong
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relationship is a lot like trying to keep a sinking ship afloat
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you throw out your most valuable possessions the things
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that make you you the more you sacrifice the more exhausted you feel worst of all the ship is indifferent
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and it just keeps sinking
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so why do we stay if it's such a bad time how come so many people remain in unfulfilling relationships.
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You see, a lot of it comes down to the illusion of togetherness.
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We're conditioned to believe that romantic relationships are supposed to complete us.
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Movies, social media, and family advice paint this picture of romantic bliss, where love is enough to fix anything.
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As you yourself may have already discovered, that's rarely the case.
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In the real world, mismatched expectations in relationships can leave us feeling more isolated.
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You're craving connection, except your partner just won't meet you halfway.
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And when that gap keeps growing, it's hard to not feel like there's something wrong with you.
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Since it's all happening simultaneously with life's natural indifference, you just kind of live with it.
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Slowly, something inside you starts to crumble, fading away into the abyss of your mind.
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And then there's the cultural baggage for some people.
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In many communities, leaving a relationship no matter how bad can feel like an unforgivable failure.
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You hear things like, marriage is sacred, or you need to try harder.
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And for most, it goes beyond just family and friends applying the pressure.
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Religion and tradition also play a huge role in reinforcing the idea that staying, despite the unhappiness, is somehow noble.
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Let's be honest, staying in the wrong relationship doesn't make you stronger.
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honestly it doesn't make you anything all it does is take take
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and take some more you shrink yourself to fit into a mold
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that doesn't suit you just to keep the peace
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or meet expectations in the process you lose touch with who you are
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and what you deserve so why do we do this to ourselves maybe it's time to stop asking what if I'm alone?
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And start asking, what if I'm free?
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We live in a world that fears solitude.
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Being alone without the expectation of companionship is often confused with loneliness.
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Many people can't wrap their heads around the idea of a conscious decision to remain single.
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It's why people always ask, if you're so great, then how come you're still single? as
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if being in a relationship is what validates you as being a good human being.
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But being alone and loneliness are not the same thing.
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Solitude can be a conscious decision, a space carved out for yourself, a pocket dimension where you can grow endlessly.
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Let's start by highlighting the distinction.
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Loneliness is an aching feeling, a longing for connection, while solitude is the fulfillment of your own company.
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Philosophers like Friedrich Nietzsche and Sören Kierkegaard recognized this.
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Nietzsche once wrote, In solitude, the lonely man is eaten by himself, among crowds, by the many.
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Choose which you prefer.
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Nietzsche believed that solitude was essentially for self -overcoming, the ability to transcend your current limitations to achieve something greater.
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While Kierkegaard saw solitude as a path to authenticity, one where you can confront yourself without the noise of the outside world.
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Why does a true self matter, though?
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Not everyone needs a higher purpose or stronger meaning.
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What if you just want to stop hurting?
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Well, all the more reason to consider solitude.
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You see, when you're alone, you start to gain a freedom you never really got to embrace.
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You're able to ask yourself the questions
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that often get drowned out in the noise of everyday life what do I truly want?
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What matters most to me?
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These questions aren't easy, but they are necessary, especially if you're seeking a way out of the hurt that's constantly gnawing on your mind.
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Sometimes even a session of authentic self -reflection can keep you away from a path that would otherwise set you back decades.
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Throughout history, some of the most profound thinkers
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and creators have turned to solitude as a source of inspiration artist Frida Kahlo said i paint self -portraits
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because i am so often alone because i am the person i know best
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her solitude wasn't a limitation it was the canvas on
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which she painted her most intimate
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and powerful works similarly the most enlightened spiritualists have long used solitude as a path for inner peace and enlightenment.
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In many traditions, solitude is seen as a way to connect with something greater than oneself.
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Buddhist monks, for example, often retreat into solitude to meditate and cultivate mindfulness, finding clarity in the stillness.
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There's a common belief that loneliness means being forgotten, that if you're not seen, heard, or celebrated by the masses, you've somehow failed.
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People will chase this visibility, losing themselves in the noise of cultural trends or unfulfilling relationships, always trying to keep up with the Joneses.
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Well, here's a question worth pondering.
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Is it worth it to be the tree that falls loudly, noticed by everyone, or the tree that stands quietly, its fruit nourishing the forest around it?
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The truth is, your life doesn't need to be a spectacle to have meaning.
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You don't need to hit societal expectations like marriage to matter.
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What truly lasts is the value that you create, the connections you nurture, and the ways you inspire those around you, no matter how quiet.
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That's the essence of living authentically.
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Not for the applause, but for the impact.
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So embrace your crooked branches.
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They are what make you unique.
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Acknowledge your hollow spots, Not as flaws, but as spaces for refuge, for yourself and for others.
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And in doing so, you'll find your place in this world.
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Not as a fleeting echo, but as a steady, enduring presence.
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What if being alone wasn't a burden?
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What if it was a gateway to unparalleled freedom?
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Solitude comes with its own kind of liberation, offering you autonomy, independence, and the luxury of time to live life entirely on your own terms.
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Let's start with autonomy.
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When you're alone, you're the sole navigator of your life.
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As an adult, there's no need to compromise when deciding on your career moves, travel plans, or lifestyle changes.
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Want to quit your job and backpack through South Africa?
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Go for it.
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Thinking of taking that night class in photography?
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Nothing is stopping you.
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When there's no one else's opinion to weigh against yours, no partner's desires to consider, your choices become pure reflections of your true self.
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Then there's the financial and emotional independence.
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Being alone allows you to focus on investing in yourself.
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Every paycheck is a world of possibilities.
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No date nights, no little gifts.
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Now you can afford guilty pleasures like video games, cosmetics, or cheat meals.
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Your money, time, and energy are directed toward things that are purely to your taste.
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That includes your goals, passions, and your well -being.
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There's no need to negotiate shared expenses or engage in emotional compromises that come with close relationships.
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You don't have to worry about someone else's student loans, finances, health, or anything.
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It's all you.
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Not that there's anything wrong with caring about others, but a relationship almost constricts your mental state.
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Even when you're mentally supposed to be free, if your partner is out of whack, then you're thrown off balance as well.
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Financial independence means that you can set goals like building an emergency fund, starting a business, or splurging on nicer things for yourself.
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Emotional independence, on the other hand, means developing a sense of self -worth that isn't tied to someone else's validation.
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You learn to be your own biggest cheerleader and your own source of comfort.
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You're bound to enjoy unprecedented levels of independence and autonomy when you're alone.
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However, the greatest freedom that solitude offers is time, the luxury of time.
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When you're alone, you're free to explore passions and hobbies to the max.
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Whether it's learning a new language, mastering an instrument, or just binge reading every book that's been collecting dust on your shelf.
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Solitude gives you the peace to dive deep into what you love.
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A study by Harvard Health Publishing found that people who spend time on hobbies
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and personal interests report higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress.
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Solitude gives you the time to cultivate these pursuits free from distractions.
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And the best part?
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You can do it exactly the way you want to.
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Nothing is stopping you from creating a special way of engaging with your interests.
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If you want a whiteboard to immerse yourself in the book you're reading, go for it.
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Want to practice the guitar for nine hours straight even when you're playing the song wrong?
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You won't be bothering anyone.
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Enjoying the opportunity to be yourself without bargaining or guilt tripping can do some real wonders for your psyche.
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It's not just about the fun stuff though.
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It's about personal growth.
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Solitude lets you reflect, plan, and take deliberate steps towards becoming the person that you want to be.
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Without the constant noise or reasons to look back, you can finally hear your own thoughts.
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The freedom of being alone is not about escaping others.
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It's more about finding yourself.
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That warm embrace of autonomy allows you to build a life that's fully yours, free from compromise and full of possibilities.
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So the next time you find yourself alone, remember this, you're not empty, you're free.
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This freedom to reclaim your life and live it on your own terms sure sounds exciting, but let's talk about the flip side.
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What happens when you let the fear of solitude keep you from embracing freedom?
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Many people fall into the trap of thinking, at least I'm not alone, so they choose to stay in a relationship just to avoid being single.
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This might feel comfortable at first.
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You don't have to embrace the void, you can find some comfort in the regularity of it, and let's be honest, heartbreaks suck, no matter how bad the relationship was.
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There's a reason you fell in love with them in the first place.
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However, over time, staying in the relationship would lead to regret and resentment.
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You may start to find yourself sacrificing happiness, values, and your sense of self to maintain a connection.
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Regardless of your partner responding positively, it's not like you're being your authentic self.
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You're constantly trying to fit into a mold that doesn't feel authentic.
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And the worst part?
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The longer you stay, the harder it becomes to leave.
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Settling can also take an emotional toll, leading to feelings of emotional fatigue.
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You are drained by the constant effort of pretending like the relationship works.
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Rather than facing loneliness head -on, you're stuck in a partnership that isolates you in a different, more insidious way.
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Then there's the dangers that come with co -dependency.
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Relationships built on emotional dependency often hinder the potential for individual growth and well -being.
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When your sense of self -worth becomes tied to another person, your own identity takes a back seat, and in some cases, it is left behind completely.
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Instead of thriving as two individuals, codependent partners can stifle each other, leading to an unhealthy dynamic where neither person is able to truly grow.
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Picture this.
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You're in a relationship where your partner dislikes the idea of you going out with your friends.
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At first, they only express concerns like, don't stay out too late and keep your location on.
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Over time, they start to let feelings of jealousy take over their rationality.
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To avoid seeing them upset, you start cancelling plans with friends.
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Why?
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Because your partner doesn't like them.
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It devolves into giving up things in your life that you once loved because they don't fit into their relationship anymore.
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Slowly, your world shrinks until it revolves entirely around someone else.
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Now, you're no longer two individuals growing together.
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It's two people tangled in a web of dependency where neither of you can truly thrive.
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Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and independence, not on using each other as emotional crutches.
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Here's the silver lining in all this.
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Breakups exist.
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Breakups hurt like hell, but they can also be transformative.
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Society often paints breakups as failures.
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Except what if we reframe them as opportunities to date ourselves instead?
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Treat it as you letting go of a relationship with them in favor of one with yourself.
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Get to know yourself as you would a new partner.
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Be excited about the feelings of falling in love with yourself.
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Go on solo dates, relearn hobbies, deepen your connection with your true self.
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If you're able to do that for yourself, it'll help with rebuilding a life with a stronger foundation.
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It's the perfect opportunity to learn from the past
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and move forward with a clearer sense of what you want and what you refuse to settle for again.
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Think of a breakup like clearing out your closet.
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It's messy and emotional, but once it's done, you've got space for things that you love.
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Settling seems like an easier path, but the risks that you're taking on will sap your happiness and potential.
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Breakups offer a way forward, a chance to rewrite your story
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and embrace the freedom of being alone until you're able to find a connection that elevates you.
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Loneliness is one of those universal experiences that connect us all,
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yet it has never really felt like something to talk about, especially not openly.
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It's the ache that lingers after a breakup, the quietness that feels loudest when you're by yourself, a sense that something or someone is missing.
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Most of us would do just about anything to avoid it.
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Why though?
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Why are we so afraid of being alone?
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Sometimes it feels like you want to rip out a part of your mind that cares, because caring makes you feel weak, broken, or unlovable.
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That's not the purpose of loneliness.
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It's a signal, one that reminds us that we are wired for connection.
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Understanding this can change everything.
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Let's start with the obvious question.
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What's the big deal with humans and loneliness?
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Why are we so scared of it?
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Well, part of it comes down to evolution.
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For thousands of years, people survived by sticking together.
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The humans that were part of a group enjoyed access to resources, safety, and a better chance at survival.
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Being alone, that was a dangerous experience.
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So our brains are hardwired to seek connection with others.
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It's not just a preference, it's a survival mechanism.
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Psychology plays a huge role here too.
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Take Maslow's hierarchy of needs for example.
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In case you're unfamiliar, here's a chart depicting it from lowest priority needs at the bottom to highest priority needs at the top.
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Right after our basic needs like food and shelter, we have the need for love and a sense of belonging.
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It's fundamental to our nature, and a core part of what makes us human.
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And then there's this interesting concept called attachment theory.
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This concept explains how our early relationships are responsible for shaping our ability to connect with others.
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If those early bonds were shaky, we might grow up with a fear of rejection or abandonment,
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making solitude feel like an even more threatening decision than it really is.
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Research shows that loneliness activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain.
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John Kachapo of the Chicago Center for Cognitive Social Neuroscience confirmed this in his research.
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That's why being alone can feel so unbearable.
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It's not just in your head, it's also in your body.
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So what do we do with that discomfort born from loneliness?
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Most of us try to run from it for different reasons.
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For some, their mind digs up uncomfortable memories.
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Maybe it's a time that they said a joke loudly and nobody acknowledged it.
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For others, it's the hurt that comes from admitting that they don't really have a sense of self.
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Running from it can take many forms, but the most prevalent lies in filling our schedules with anything to keep ourselves from being alone.
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Some people scroll through social media endlessly, living in constant comparison with others or experiencing their ideal life vicariously through people online.
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In extreme cases, loneliness can lead to some desperate actions.
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Japanese prisons recently began to deal with a unique problem, elderly inmates.
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Due to the social challenges of many elderly women living in poverty and struggling with social isolation, these women have found that getting incarcerated for non -violent offenses,
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like theft, can provide the stability and companionship that they don't get from a life outside of prison.
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Obviously, that's much more sinister than people who jump into relationships with the sole purpose of avoiding being alone, but it's the same premise.
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Except running from loneliness never makes it go away.
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It only postpones the inevitable.
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The real solution?
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Learning to live with it.
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This is where self -compassion and mindfulness play a huge role.
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Self -compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend.
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Instead of beating yourself up for feeling lonely, you acknowledge it.
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This is hard and that's okay.
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Self -compassion helps put things into perspective and reminds us that loneliness is part of the shared human experience.
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Mindfulness, on the other hand, allows you to be able to be present with your emotions, completely free from judgement.
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It's about acknowledging loneliness without letting it define you.
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Instead of labeling loneliness as a bad thing, we can view it as a sign that we're longing for connection, either with others or with ourselves.
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So how can you incorporate mindfulness in your own life?
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Start by embracing simple practices like meditation, deep breathing, and mindful walks.
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These are activities that anchor you in the present moment.
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Journaling is also helpful for processing your emotions without judgment, while gratitude exercises will help to shift your focus towards the positives in your life.
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Something as simple as eating a meal without distractions
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or taking a few moments every day to observe your surroundings can help cultivate a deep sense of awareness.
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The real hack here is consistency.
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By making mindfulness a daily habit, you get to create a space for clarity, self -compassion, and a stronger connection with yourself.
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Loneliness is a lot like a wave.
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If you try to fight it by believing it's a game of strength, you'll get pulled under.
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If you let it wash over you, you'll realize it's temporary.
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It won't last forever.
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In that space, you can start to find true peace.
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If you want to reduce the aching feeling that comes with loneliness, it's worthwhile to implement mindfulness practices.
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These exercises often help people feel more connected to themselves and the world around them.
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Here's some good news.
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You don't need a romantic partner to feel connected.
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Some of the most meaningful connections in our lives have nothing to do with romance.
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Friendships, third spaces, hobbies, and communities can be just as powerful in combating loneliness.
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Sometimes it's even more helpful than romantic relationships.
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Think about it.
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When you're part of a community like a sports team, a book club, a gaming clan, or a volunteer group, you're reminded that you're not alone.
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You're part of something bigger.
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And when you invest in hobbies, you're not only filling your time, but you're also building a stronger sense of purpose.
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Whether it's hiking, painting, or learning a new skill, these activities remind you of who you are and what you're truly capable of.
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That feeling is one that's hard to ignore.
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It's that sense of individuality that can make you appealing for romantic relationships in the first place.
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You don't need to drop everything for your partner.
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Besides, anyone who loves you would want you to exist in the first place, not to strip you of your entire personality.
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And then there are friendships, real deep and meaningful friendships, the kind where you get to show up as your messy,
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imperfect self and still feel loved.
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These relationships are able to match romantic ones in terms of importance.
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They remind us that connection doesn't have to come in the form of a partner.
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It can also come from people who see us, like truly see us, and choose to stay anyway.
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Loneliness is a shared human experience, but it doesn't need to be a permanent one.
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By understanding why we fear being alone, learning to sit with discomfort, and also choose to build meaningful connections,
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we can start to turn loneliness into an opportunity for growth.
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And that brings us to the final piece of the puzzle, the philosophy of intentional solitude.
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Solitude is a lot more than being alone.
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It's a mindset, a deliberate choice to step away from the noise of the world and turn inward.
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There's an important distinction between being alone and wishing you weren't.
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Intentional solitude is an empowering state of being, one where you're genuinely relieved and able to gain clarity in your own company.
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It's about learning to embrace the discomfort of silence and stillness, not as a form of punishment, but as an authentic path to personal growth.
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At first, solitude can feel uncomfortable and intimidating, especially with the negative connotations.
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Taking the time to reframe your mindset towards a conscious decision is key.
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Intentionality is what helps you to see solitude as a sanctuary rather than a prison.
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It's what provides the space to slow down and learn to think clearly,
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processing life's complexities without the burden of external distractions think of it like learning to swim
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at first the deep end feels terrifying and you wonder why anyone would want to go there
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once you figure out how to float you start to enjoy
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the peace of being in the water the idea of intentional solitude is one that's deeply rooted in buddhist
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and stoic teachings
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in buddhism it's understood that solitude is a way to detach from the constant cravings and attachments that tend to cause suffering.
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The Buddha himself was familiar with solitude, spending years meditating under the Bodhi tree to reach enlightenment.
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For Buddhists, being alone isn't about isolation from everything.
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That's a common misconception, the image of a lone monk finding enlightenment in isolation.
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Buddhist practices are more about cultivating mindfulness, presence, and a sense of inner peace.
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One Buddhist concept that brilliantly illustrates this is detachment.
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When we are constantly surrounded by others, we tend to tie our sense of self -worth to their opinions, expectations, or approval.
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With solitude, we can untangle those knots and begin to discover who we are without the looming influence of those around us.
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It's more about recognizing that our value doesn't come from external validation, but within.
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Compare this to Stoicism, which is a philosophical school
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that teaches us to find strength in solitude by learning to master our thoughts and emotions.
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The Stoics believe that true freedom comes from within.
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That's right, it's not wealth, status, or relationships that will provide you with inner peace.
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Instead, hone in on self -control and inner resilience.
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Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, famously wrote, nowhere can man find a quieter, more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.
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For the Stoics, solitude was a way to cultivate inner strengths and ponder the deeper questions concerning life.
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By focusing on what truly matters, they understood a few things.
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For one, while being alone might feel difficult at first, it's often that discomfort that leads to growth.
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It's kind of like going to the gym.
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Sure, the workouts can be tough, that's what makes you stronger.
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Solitude is like a mental workout, one that builds your emotional resilience.
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One of the most profound benefits of intentional solitude is the opportunity to make better decisions when it comes to relationships.
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As someone comfortable with being alone, you're less likely to settle for the wrong person out of fear of loneliness.
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Instead, you're approaching them from a place of self -assurance and confidence, knowing that you're choosing to be with someone because they can add value to your life.
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not because you need them to complete it.
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Much like a house with a shaky foundation, a relationship built out of desperation can crumble at any moment.
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When your foundation is solid, you stand a better chance at building something beautiful and lasting.
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Buddhism and Stoicism both emphasize that solitude is not an end goal in itself, so you shouldn't resign yourself into isolation forever.
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Instead, think of the solitude like a gym built for the soul.
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You're aiming to gain greater self -awareness, emotional strength, and personal growth.
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Once you're more comfortable being yourself, you'll be able to build stronger relationships and experience a more fulfilling life by bringing your best self to the world.
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Ultimately, intentional solitude teaches us one of life's most valuable lessons.
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We are enough, just as we are.
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It's the best reminder that our worth isn't determined by the number of friends we have, or how many likes we can gather on social media, or whether we're in a relationship.
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Solitude shows us that we are whole, even when we are alone.
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We started this journey with a question.
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What's worse, choosing solitude or staying stuck in a relationship that drains you?
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By now, the answer should be clear.
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Loneliness doesn't come from simply being alone.
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Instead, it comes from being disconnected from yourself and others.
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While relationships have the potential to bring love and inner - fulfillment, they can also become prisons when we choose to stay out of fear rather than choice.
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But solitude isn't something to fear.
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Instead, it's worth embracing.
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It's a space where we can learn about who we are, the things we value, and what truly makes us happy.
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In solitude, we can gain clarity, build our emotional resilience, and learn to cultivate self -love.
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And when the time eventually comes to share our lives with a special someone, we do it from a place of emotional strength not desperation.
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Choosing to be alone isn't about rejecting or disapproving relationships it's more about refusing to settle.
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It's about understanding that your happiness doesn't depend on someone else and that true connection begins with knowing and loving yourself first.
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If you're afraid of being alone remember this solitude isn't an ending, it's a beginning.
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It's not isolation, it's freedom.
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And from that freedom, you can begin to build a life that feels whole, whether you choose to walk it alone or alongside someone that truly sees you.
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Because it's far better to be alone than to wish you were.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 362 sentences and 4913 words to shadow. The speech runs for 31:08. The speaker talks at a natural 158 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. Only 81% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is demanding.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| loneliness noun | /ˈloʊnlinəs/ | A feeling of depression resulting from being alone or from having no companions. |
| embrace verb | /ɛmˈbɹes/ | To clasp (someone or each other) in the arms with affection; to take in the arms; to hug. |
| romantic adjective | /ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/ | Fantastic, unrealistic (of an idea etc.); fanciful, sentimental, impractical (of a person). |
| hobby noun | /ˈhɑ.bi/ | An activity that one enjoys doing in one's spare time. |
| remind verb | /ɹəˈmaɪnd/ | To cause one to experience a memory (of someone or something); to bring to the notice or consideration (of a person). |
| settle verb | /ˈsɛtəl/ | To determine (something which was exposed to doubt or question); to resolve conclusively; to set or fix (a time, an order of succession, etc). |
| isolation noun | /ˌaɪsəˈleɪʃən/ | The state of being isolated, detached, or separated; the state of being away from other people. |
| intentional adjective | /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/ | Intended or planned; done deliberately or voluntarily. |
| happiness noun | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | The emotion of being happy; joy; elation. |
| authentic adjective | /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/ | Of the same origin as claimed; genuine. |
| expectation noun | /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/ | The act or state of expecting or looking forward to an event as about to happen. |
| compassion noun | /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ | Deep awareness of the suffering of others that people have to the point of them being motivated to relieve such states. |
| clarity noun | /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/ | The state or measure of being clear, either in appearance, thought or style; lucidity. |
| autonomy noun | /ɔˈtɑ.nə.mi/ | The right or condition of self-government; freedom to act or function independently. |
| discomfort noun | /dɪsˈkʌmfɚt/ | Mental or bodily distress. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| come down to verb | To reach by moving down or reducing. |
| clear out verb | To completely empty. |
| dig up verb | To excavate something. |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
| give up verb | To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone). |
| go away verb | To depart or leave a place. |
| keep up with verb | To manage to remain beside or just behind someone or something that is moving away from one. |
| leave behind verb | To abandon. |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | were promised · is sacred · is eaten |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | people who spend · people who jump · anyone who loves |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have turned · has never really felt · have found |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 104 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, doesn't, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, breathe /bɹiːð/, gather /ˈɡæðɚ/, theft /θɛft/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: isolation /ˌaɪsəˈleɪʃən/, intentional /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/
- Long words — get the stress right: isolation /ˌaɪsəˈleɪʃən/, intentional /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, autonomy /ɔˈtɑ.nə.mi/, enlightenment /ɪnˈlaɪtənmənt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like loneliness, embrace, romantic.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.