Prática de Shadowing: why you care too much - Aprenda a falar inglês com o YouTube
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Every time you talk to someone, you spend the rest of the day thinking about it.
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They give you a short answer, and you think they hate you.
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They don't text back fast enough, and you start freaking out.
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You are looking for reasons to think people don't like you.
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The last four years of my life, I've apologized for, I think, everything.
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Like, just saying sorry constantly.
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Someone would bump into me when they could have just gone around me while I was standing still, and I'd say sorry.
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I would have my own opinions and strong beliefs about something, and I'd backtrack like, but I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.
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I would text someone and if they didn't respond in like, I don't know, an hour, I'd convince myself they hated me.
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And the craziest part is I didn't realize I was doing it or it was even a problem to begin with.
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I just thought that's how everyone was.
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Like everyone worries what people think.
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Everyone replays conversations in their head at 2am.
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But then I remember this one time, I was probably 16 or 17 and I posted something on Instagram and I had a couple followers from the school.
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A lot of people from a new school that I moved to.
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In about a day, no one liked that photo and it was so embarrassing and I just felt like, wow, I thought I knew these people.
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I took that to heart.
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I thought maybe, you know, these people really don't care about me.
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They must hate me.
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Maybe I said something to a couple people to make them mad and I don't know, maybe they just don't like me anymore.
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So I spent the weekend just like torturing myself like two days I was convinced
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that these people who I barely even talked to like I barely talked to these people were judging me
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or just you know didn't care they didn't like my stuff I didn't realize it then
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but I realize it now that that was a serious problem
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and it definitely started when I was younger don't exactly know
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when but it had to be elementary you know I wasn't the loudest kid
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or like the most popular but I was friendly with everyone
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and I think that's because I was terrified of anyone not liking me.
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I would change how I acted depending on who I was around.
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If I was with one group of friends, I'd act another way.
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You know, there's group A, group B, group C.
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I was just kind of adapting to whatever I thought people wanted from me and for a while it worked.
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Middle school definitely worked.
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People liked me.
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I had friends, I fit in, but the problem was I had no idea who I actually was.
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Like if you asked me what my actual opinions were on anything at that point, I probably couldn't tell you.
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Or I probably could, but it wouldn't be my own opinions.
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It'd be whatever group I'm with because my opinions were just whatever the people around me thought.
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And I didn't realize how exhausting it was going to be trying to keep up with it.
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Because when you're constantly performing, you're like a jester, constantly monitoring yourself, worrying about how you're going to be perceived or looked at,
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your brain just never shuts off.
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Like you can't relax.
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You can't be present in the moment.
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Can't be chill.
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I remember being with like a group of friends going to their house and you know, every interaction I had with them, I was very, you know, I was analyzing everything.
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Someone would laugh at something I said
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and I would spend like 10 minutes trying to figure out if they were laughing with me or at me.
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I had to constantly be aware of how I was coming across people.
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And the thing that made it worse, right, is that I was good at hiding it.
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Like, it sounds somewhat emo, but, like, on the outside, I seemed fine, like, confident even.
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But inside, dude, I was thinking about a lot.
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Just constantly second-guessing everything.
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Because there was a lot of people that I would talk to, and I was basically just performing.
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And so the worst part about caring too much is that you start losing yourself.
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And I don't mean that in, like, a deep philosophical way.
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I mean like literally you forget who you are.
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Because when you spend all the time trying to be what other people want, you stop knowing what you want.
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You stop having your own opinions, your own style, your own interest.
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And that was the biggest thing ever in high school.
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Like I had no, according to some people, you had no style.
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I had to be like them and another group had to be like them.
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Not like had to, but you know, I wore shorts and a hoodie like all the time
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And it would definitely be like picked at
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but I realistically did not want to dress like the people I hanged out with
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because It it not my style I'll say not my style
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and I'm glad I didn't get dragged into that But with me
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and a lot of people you become this kind of blank slate
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that molds itself to whoever you're around Like I'm not a mean person
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But I would be mean to specific people
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if my friends were being mean to these specific people But then when I'm not with that group, I'm a pretty nice guy and I started noticing this when I make decisions too
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Like I would try to figure out what I wanted to do with my life
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and I realized I had no idea what I actually wanted
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Because every decision I made was based on what other people
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would think like I remember thinking about what to major in And my thought process wasn't you know, what do I want to do?
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It was what looks good?
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What looks impressive?
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What would you know my friends think is not lame not weird?
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And so I would end up choosing something I didn't even care about
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because it sounded good when I told people but it really doesn't matter because I didn't go to college anyway, but it wasn't just with college.
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It was even jobs, hobbies.
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Nothing was based on what I wanted.
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It was all designed to get approval.
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And the thing is the people whose approval I was chasing Didn't even care.
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I was stressing about impressing people who probably didn't remember or don't remember my name But you know, I convinced myself that everyone was watching.
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Everyone was judging
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Everyone cared when the reality is
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that most people are too busy worrying about themselves themselves and right now I currently am too busy worrying about myself.
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I do not care really about other people.
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I don't care what they do, what they say.
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I'm still in the process of trying to figure out what I want to do
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and apparently I also became a people pleaser which I'll be honest at the beginning I swear it sounded pretty good.
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I thought that was a good thing.
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It's actually horrible.
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It's actually very bad because when you're a people pleaser you say yes to everything even when you don't want to,
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even when it hurts you because saying no feels impossible.
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I would have friends ask me to do stuff and I'd say, yeah, even if I was like exhausted, even if I had other plans, even if I genuinely didn't want to go
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or didn't want to do whatever it is because I couldn't handle the thought of disappointing people.
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And at first people kind of like that about me.
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At least I think like I was the reliable friend, the one who was always down, you know, the one who never caused problems, the one that never said no. But over time,
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I realized people were kind of taking advantage of it.
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Like they would, like they knew I'd say yes.
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So they keep asking and I'd keep saying yes.
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And I'd keep burning myself out.
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It could have been anything.
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I hated specific people.
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And when they asked me for test answers and I had them for myself, but you know what happened?
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I'd give them, you know, my little, my little paper and they never gave it back to me
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and they kept sharing it to all their other friends and no one gave it back to me.
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And that happened a lot with a lot of other things.
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Homework, any class assignments, you can name it, anything.
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At the time I had Snapchat, everyone added me just to kind of get my answers.
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That's it.
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But in my head Saying no meant they wouldn't like me anymore.
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I have no idea why I cared and I think the turning point had to be
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Probably like a year and a half ago
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But I was with my quote-unquote friends at like a fair
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because I know like one of them But since you know I was
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so nice I considered everybody my friend and that's like 14 15 people
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when really one of them is like my really close friend
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everyone was talking to each other you know cracking jokes
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that were very inside like i had no idea what they were talking about
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because they have their own lives like i knew these people
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but i wasn't i wasn't friends with them you know i
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wasn't as close as i thought apparently in my head i don't know what i was thinking
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but you know but it just happens when you're so nice
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so i had like 200 that night well after i had five dollars i played a I played one game and yeah,
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I suck at throwing stuff.
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So I missed it was like pins Missed horribly.
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I was like ah whatever because it was like $15 a game insane after not talking to me for like 30 minutes
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Everyone asked me can I play a game?
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Can I play can I play?
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I said yeah, then after the fact you know everyone's done playing their games.
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I don't think anyone thanked me at all I'm starting to think about it.
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No one thanked me.
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We walked around more and there was a it was lemonade and apparently You know it's pretty good lemonade.
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I say apparently because I didn't get to try any some person asked me Hey, can I have some money get some lemonade?
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I said sure and it was like
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$7 then the next person asked me then the next and I said yes to every
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single person and then when I had five bucks left I I couldn't even get my own lemonade.
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So what did I do?
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Nothing.
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I did nothing.
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But like there was 15 people.
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They asked me, you know, hey, can I have some money?
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And then only my close friend said, thank you.
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So I went home, looked at my wallet, saw my $5.
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Because the $200 I had was like hard work money.
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But it was me helping someone.
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That's how I got the money.
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And that was like two days of work.
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Wasted.
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completely wasted on people that I do not give a fuck about
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but then later that night I got a screenshot from my friend uh from a group chat
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and it was all of them the people
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that you know asked for money basically saying
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that they played me like a fiddle
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so I turned my phone off I started playing siege and
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and my brain started moving you know the cog started turning and after that day I started trying to say no, but not even with just no,
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even impressing people or apologizing for things that aren't my fault.
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And it was hard.
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It was way harder than I thought it would be.
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The first thing I did was I started noticing when I was doing it.
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Like every time I caught myself overthinking something or worrying about someone's thought, I would just not, well, I would try just to not care.
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But since, you know, I'm a people pleaser, I had to take that extra step and ask myself, like, does this actually matter?
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Does this person matter?
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Does this person's opinion actually affect my life?
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And I'll tell you, most of the time, the answer is no. I'd be stressing about some random person I barely know.
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And from there, I started saying no. Like, at first, I felt kind of sick.
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Very anxious.
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I was very anxious about it.
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Because, like, my brain was convinced something bad was going to happen, but nothing happened.
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Most people I say most because some people do care if you say no, but most, they don't really care.
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Especially if they don't know who you are.
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They just ask someone else.
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Like I made the rule for myself to only say sorry if I actually did something wrong.
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Or I was in like the shoulder of a walkway when everything's open and someone like hits my shoulder, like slams it.
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Oh yeah, sorry dude.
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What?
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No, or like just
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because I had an opinion like I had to physically stop myself from saying sorry
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or taking back something I said because I did that a lot and you know slowly
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Things would start to change and the first thing you'd notice is that some people
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Won't like the new version of you like the people who were used to me saying yes
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Always going along with things or whatever it is.
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They didn't like that I was you know standing up for myself basically standing up for myself Yeah, like they didn't like that.
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I wouldn't go along with their jokes
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And it really shows who actually cares about you
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because the people who stuck around were the people who liked me for me Not what I did for them.
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I also started making like way better decisions Like I'd stop choosing things based on how they looked
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and start choosing things based on what I actually wanted me being able to chill out
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Definitely got easier because I constantly didn't really care what I said
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or did I wasn't replaying conversations in my head I wasn't worried about every little thing
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and I started being myself like the actual version of me not the performative
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You know jester basically because
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when I moved to this new school I was Trying to stand out very hard too much
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because when I started doing that my grades did they slipped They were getting bad.
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I graduated with a pretty good GPA, but freshman year horrible horrible horrible But after graduating high school,
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a lot of people, surprisingly, no one talked to me.
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Except like maybe 10 people out of a lot of people that I would talk to that I thought were my friends.
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And that's just kind of what happens when you're so nice and you consider everyone friends.
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Like even at work, you know, oh, I talked to this person once and they were nice to me.
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That's my friend.
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No, they're not.
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That's a coworker just being nice.
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That's really it.
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And most of you guys are probably in school.
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So in class if someone just talks to you once they're not your friend You can try to be friends with them,
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but just know it's not a guarantee But uh anyway, I used to care a lot,
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you know way too much I hope you guys learn something about me being an idiot
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and being a people pleaser It's been a while since I posted and I'm very sorry about it.
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I've been so busy unbelievably busy, but dude videos have been doing amazing.
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Like, they've been doing so good.
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Like, every comment I get is just...
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It's nice.
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It's sweet.
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Like, all you guys are nice.
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And I just wanted to thank all the new people that subscribed and, you know, hopefully stay.
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And if you just got this video and you're watching it, please subscribe.
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I want to reach 100k by the end of this year.
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That's like...
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It's a lot.
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But, you know, it's worth a shot.
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And if you want to further support me, I have a buy me a coffee link in the description.
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And I hope you guys are having a great day.
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And I will see you guys very soon.
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Sobre Esta Lição
Nesta lição, você irá praticar a conversação em inglês analisando um vídeo que explora a importância de não se preocupar excessivamente com a opinião dos outros. Através da análise deste conteúdo, você não só irá expandir seu vocabulário, como também irá refletir sobre como as inseguranças podem afetar nossas interações sociais. É uma ótima oportunidade para aprender inglês com YouTube, melhorando sua compreensão auditiva e capacidade de se expressar com mais confiança.
Vocabulário e Frases Chave
- Care too much - se importar demais
- People pleaser - agradador de pessoas
- Overthinking - pensar demais
- Apologizing constantly - pedir desculpas constantemente
- Coping with judgment - lidando com julgamentos
- Self-worth - autoestima
- Social interactions - interações sociais
Dicas de Prática
Ao assistir ao vídeo, tente usar a técnica de shadowing, onde você escuta e repete imediatamente o que foi dito. Comece devagar, focando na entonação e na pronúncia. O falante tem um ritmo natural, e a prática deve ser feita de maneira gradual para facilitar a melhora da pronúncia em inglês. Aqui vão algumas dicas específicas:
- Escute o vídeo uma vez sem repetir. Isso ajudará você a entender o contexto geral.
- Na segunda vez, pause após cada frase e reproduza o que ouviu. Tente imitar a entonação e a emoção do falante.
- Use ferramentas como shadowspeaks para treinar seu ouvido e fala, buscando se acostumar com diferentes sotaques e pronúncias.
- Grave sua própria voz enquanto você faz shadowing e depois ouça-a para identificar áreas de melhoria.
- Repita essa prática algumas vezes na semana. A consistência é fundamental para o desenvolvimento de suas habilidades na prática de conversação em inglês.
Com essas dicas, você estará mais preparado para enfrentar conversas em inglês e se sentirá mais seguro ao expressar suas opiniões sem o medo de ser julgado.
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.