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she stabbed my sister with a knife in her hand, she stabbed me with a plate,

so she broke a plate on my head and my head burst open and just started pouring down my whole body.

She would get pepper, open our eyes, put it inside our eyes to make us blind that we couldn't see.

Sometimes they'll lock me in the bedroom for days and it got

so bad that I would just start eating the wall because there would be no food, there would be nothing.

So we were being picked into this country to become child labourers.

Can you introduce yourself to us?

My name is Destiny Ayo Vaughan.

I'm currently a student studying at Queen's University.

I'm also the founder of a nonprofit called Mindgap Ireland, which is an organization that's now focused on fighting child sexual abuse through education.

Can you speak a bit about your childhood?

I was originally born in Nigeria.

When I was born in Nigeria, I never knew my biological parents.

I lived with my auntie and we grew up in extreme poverty.

So the home that we lived in had no doors, it had no toilets.

There were three other families that lived with us in that home as well.

And the only things that I knew of my parents was

that they had moved to another country and they just didn't bring me

but I never actually knew the reason why they didn't bring me and one day

my auntie told me that I was going to be going to school for the first time

but I found out

that the only reason why I would be going to school was to meet my future husband

and at the time I was only five years old

and he was a good few years older than me he

was actually way more older than me probably more in his

20s going on to maybe his later 20s than 10 years

younger did you understand what marriage was no i didn't understand what it was i just knew

that i didn't want to do it

because many girls in my village did get married off very young

and i knew what their lives were like because

when i would go to um so there'll be a marketplace

and some of the girls that would get married would be working in this marketplace

and they just looked miserable and they could never play

so i just knew that i didn't want to be like them

so i remember i said to my auntie i don't want to get married

but i didn't actually know what marriage actually meant

when you were engaged to this person like did you started

to make a connection with him did someone force you to

have a relationship like emotionally so what they would do was they would tell me

so they bribed me into agreeing to it so they told me

that I would get to go to school so that means

that every time I was going to school after school I would have to go

and meet him because his market was as I was walking back from school

so I would meet him every single day after school

and he would tell me like oh I have something for you

so he would give me food especially coming from poverty what he had I wasn't used to it

so he would always give me food

so then every time I'll be going I'll be thinking i'm

so excited to go there because i'll be getting something

so it was kind of like they were grooming me into

that situation to think that i was going to be a great life if i agreed to it

not that i had a choice but

but since he was working why didn't he like engaged a more mature woman

so in the culture

that i was brought up in it's very normalized for older men to marry young children

so a lot of people there like for example my parents

is 10 years between my parents my mom had me

when she was my dad was 30

and like my mom was quite young i think she had me around 19

or something so it's very normalized for young people to get married to older men and it's more of this

more of a

that they don't want an older woman they want children how was he besides the fact

that he was giving you food

and stuff how how he was treating you yeah he was

very nice that's the the thing I remember he was very

very nice like he was always like giving me something

and that's the big thing I remember every time I'll go he'll give me something

so it's that kindness that I always received

so in my eyes I always seen him as a good person

but as I got older obviously I look at

that situation completely different I don't see him as a good person I understand

that that was just grooming and he knew better but he didn't care you stayed with him like how many years

so what happened was

when I was supposed to be engaged to him I was actually supposed to be married off to him

that week yes so I was supposed to be married off to him

that week I was engaged to be married

and that's the reason I was allowed to go to school I had to learn how to count

so I could work in his shop so

that week I happened to a woman turned up to my

house she never met her before don't know who she is

and I just remembered

that she offered my family a lot of money for me to meet a sister I didn't know I had

and she was gonna bring me to meet my biological parents

so that's the only reason why I didn't get married

because of this stranger talking about your biological parents were they against it at all

or no how was their reaction nobody was against it like

nobody ever tried to stop it it was actually it's quite normalized especially in Nigeria

and the culture that is brought up there like a lot of girls there are married at

that age and a lot of girls there um

so i don't know if you know about like the

that goes on with young girls what happens is

when you get married they end up actually cutting you as well

so they end up like cutting you so you stay pure for your husband

and they do that to all the girls that get married

so if i had stayed i would have actually gone

and down below so i can stay pure for my husband i'm sorry

if this is a bit intimate

but did you have any like intimate relationship with him

or no so i was very lucky

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because i had left before we could get married to consummate the marriage

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so i i had actually never gone to actually stay with him physically

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because i had left the week of the time i was

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supposed to be given to him obviously this woman turned up at my door

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and then the next day she she bring me to a different city to go meet my sister

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so i didn't know i had a sister

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we met each other with my granny and that's the first time we've ever heard of each other

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and then she took us to another city

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which i think was lagos at the time

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and she bring us to this house

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and i remember in this house it was the complete opposite

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to what we were used to there was toilets those doors

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it was two stories there was ice cream it was things that we never seen before so we taught, oh my God, we wanna stay here forever.

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And then that's when they told us, we're bringing you to the airport the next day.

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We want you to try and get through the airport, but if anybody asks you questions, we're gonna tell you the lies that you have to tell.

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And you just keep telling them that you're gonna go meet your parents.

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And then the next day they brought us to the airport.

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They gave us envelopes that go around our necks

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a passport they gave us like a bucket of cash like a lot of cash and it was for our parents

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and then they also gave us sweets and our ticket

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so what they were basically doing was they were basically trafficking us into ireland

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so we were actually supposed to give the money to our parents to for them allowing us to go through

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but we didn't realize at the time that

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that was actually what was happening so what happened was

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if you're going to an airport

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and you're a child there has to be an adult with you

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but what they did was they didn't actually do

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that they were actually they bribed somebody to just let us through to the airport by ourselves

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because how how old were you i was five my sister was six you were five yeah

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so we traveled here completely by ourselves so

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once you arrived in ireland who who received you again

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so we got off the plane and we were still running around the airport again

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because we were just standing there

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and next you know i heard somebody shouting my name destiny stop running around

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and i turned around and the guy in front of me looked exactly like me me

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and my dad were the image of each other we looked the exact same

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so that's how i knew that that was my dad at the airport

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and they had another baby at the time

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so they had another daughter with them

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and then we went with them back to ireland well back to their house in Ireland.

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Did you feel like at home?

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Did you feel like welcomed and were they happy to receive you?

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Yeah they were happy to receive me but not my sister and I didn't really understand.

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I was like they were so happy to see me but it was like my sister didn't care.

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It was like nearly like she was a burden to be there

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which I obviously being so young I didn't really care

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but I didn't really understand do i mean so i didn't really see

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that change in how they were treating both of us at the time

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so you stayed with them like you went to school yes

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so what happened was when we got into ireland a social worker actually came to our house

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so the day before we could go to school a social worker turned up to house i don't know

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if that was because maybe somebody reported the fact

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that there was kids running around airport um

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and we were told to lie so we had to lie to the social worker

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that everything was fine blah blah blah blah which we did

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and then we ended up going to school then after

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so we went to school as normal

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but in ireland children have to go to school so

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if they don't go to school that will be reported you can't have a child

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so they were allowing us to go to school but then

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when we got back home they were locking us in the house for what reason

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so they didn't want us to go outside

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because they we were actually being brought here to work

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which obviously we didn't realize at the time

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so we were being trafficked into this country to become child laborers

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so me and my sister we've actually been working since we were children

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so my dad was a dj at the time

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and he made videos at the time as well

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so we would go with him well it was my sister first she would go at night with him

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and she would help him in work and then it changed to me

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when she left i would go with him

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and i would be helping him until like 4 a.m

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so i could leave at 10 p.m

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and i would not come back home until 4 a.m the next day

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because i was so young i didn't really understand what it was

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and i think

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because i was going with my dad i was more protected from what was happening at these parties

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so i didn't understand these parties were actually parties to traffic children

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so a lot of these parties it was men who were at these parties for the children

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and all these children that were there did not belong to the parents

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so what was happening was people were bringing children into Ireland

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that weren't their own children and the Irish government weren't checking them

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so they weren't doing DNA tests actually checked

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that these children belonged to them and

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so they would bring them to the country

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and then they would bring them to these parties where the children would be trafficked at these parties

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and then you never see them again

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and then there'll be a bunch of new children and it was like a cycle that went on for five years.

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So I was very lucky that in my situation I was more protected because my dad was the one

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kind of over a lot of these parties

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but I did witness a lot of what was going on

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and I was very young to be witnessing a lot of what was going on

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so I was very much aware of what was happening at the time.

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I remember my neighbors were knocking on my door all the time to get me to come outside.

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It was very rare I could go outside

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so they were actually trapping me in the house so they would lock me in the house.

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Sometimes they would lock me in the bedroom for days

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and it got so bad that I would just start eating the wall because there would be no food, there would be nothing.

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So I would start eating the wall in my room just to get food.

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The only time I could leave was literally

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when I was going to school or

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if my parents were leaving for a long period of time

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but we were always locked either in the house

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or in the bedroom

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and i never left how was your mom treating you she

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was more of the more physical abuser she was quite aggressive

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like her form of abuse was actually to the point where

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she it felt like she wanted to kill us she stabbed

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my sister with an on her hand she stabbed me with a plate

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so she broke a plate on my head and my head burst open

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and just started pouring down my whole body to the point

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of where to this day the wound still opens she got an iron

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and burnt me with the iron i still have the scar on my leg

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so she was very physical and

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if we refuse to do something let's say we refuse to go to one of the parties

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that they want us to go to she would get pepper

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open our eyes put it inside our eyes to make us blind

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that we couldn't see to the point where we would just agree to do it we found out later on

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that my sister actually wasn't their child so my sister was actually my cousin

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so she never actually belonged to them

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and then for me I think it was a thing of where like she had me

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when she was so young

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that I feel like she was like a victim to my dad

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and then it just continued

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so it was getting to the point where the abuse is getting

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so bad to the point of where I genuinely thought

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that my mom was going to kill me if we stayed in

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that house and I started noticing some things in the where my parents started giving us medication

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that we didn't know what it was like we would pass

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that for hours at a time the parties were coming into our house

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so they were starting to have it in their actual family home

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and it just got to the point of where

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and then they tried to marry me off two more times then

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so it got to a point where I was worried

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that it was going to happen to my siblings

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because I had a younger brother at the time

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and a younger sister so I went to school and I told a friend what was happening

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and her mom was actually a teacher

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so she told her mom what was happening

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and then her mom was the one that called social services

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and then they took me out of the house then well from school they just never brought me back home

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so i was put into foster care because of child abuse

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and neglect but they didn't know about the trafficking

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or the child labor at the time

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so the way the court case happened in iron is very different

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when you're put into care you don't always get a court case you just get put into care

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and your parents just lose custody so that's what happened with me

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so they didn't find out a little bit of my story until i was 16

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so i was a good bit into foster care system

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and even still then because it was so i was a lot older

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and they hadn't searched my home when i went to the foster care the videotapes

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that my dad took of all the abuse

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that they were doing to other children they got rid of it

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so the evidence was completely gone so they couldn't bring my case to court.

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The family I lived with were really good, they always treated me as part of their own and so I was very lucky in that sense, they really did look after me.

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I think the part

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that I found really hard was it's very hard to go

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from living in an African family to then live in somewhere where you're the only black person, it's a very big cultural change and I think

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because I was somebody who was going through a lot of depression at the time, anxiety at the time trauma a lot of children do not understand

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that so i experienced like

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so much bullying to the point of where i feel like mentally i was just getting even worse

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and more drained like i remember i would lock myself in my bedroom for like days

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and i would not come out i wouldn't even eat

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so i was treating myself and how i was being treated

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when i was back home because that was what was normal to me.

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I think for me I wish that somebody had actually believed me

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when I first spoke up about it and I don't know

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if that's like and I wish I actually did fight more to somebody to listen to my story

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because multiple times social workers did go into the house

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and every time they'll ask me

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if there was something wrong I would just say no

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so I wish

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that the younger version of me just said no some something

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is wrong i wish like i had a stronger voice at the time

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and i do understand that i was a child but i do wish that i did say something was wrong

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so i was 17 or 18

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when i was put into as a residential um unit for kids in care

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but i when i left i was 18 okay

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so you said you you had like a younger sibling yes

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since they lost the custody of you did they lost the custody of the younger ones also yes

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so they lost the custody of the younger two

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but then my mom had another baby and she got to keep

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that child so but everybody else they lost custody of

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but my siblings still see my parents i'm the only one that has no contact

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so what do you feel was taken away from you during

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that time i definitely my childhood i think

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that my child has definitely been taken away i don't think i've ever gone a childhood at all

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and i And I think as well, even sometimes peace of mind, I feel like my head is always racing and I carried

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so much guilt because I feel like so many children suffered because I didn't see anything sooner.

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So I do feel the guilt of that if I'm being honest.

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But yeah, I think that it's just knowing

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that I would never have anything good to say about my childhood because I didn't get a childhood at all.

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It's something that's really sad for me.

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So when I was 19 I ended up being homeless, so I remember I had all my stuff in a black sack

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and I had nowhere to go

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and I was calling all of my friends to be like can I stay with you

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and bear in mind at the time I was still doing my Leaving Cert

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which is like your high school degree so I was still doing

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that and one of my friends said oh you can come

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and stay with me

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so I went to go stay with her I think I had like 10 pounds in my bank account

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that was supposed to last me for a month

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and I just remember sleeping there

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and thinking this life is just not what I thought it would be

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so I was actually couch surfing for like nearly a year with my friends

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while I was also traveling for an hour to try

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and go into uni because I had actually failed uni

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so I couldn't I didn't have the grades to go to university

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so I couldn't work because I didn't have any grades I had no skills

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and I had nowhere to stay

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so I had to kind of like figure it out a little bit

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so I worked I walked into like a charity shop

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and I asked him I was like would you give me a job

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if I work for free would you give me

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so I can learn skills basically so Concern agreed to give me a volunteer job

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and I worked there for like four months

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and then I applied for PLC

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so PLC is like a college you can apply for

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if you don't have the right amount of grades or

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if you just want to do something else before you go to university

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so I applied for there while I was also working in the shop

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and then I got in so I did

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that to get me into university

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and then I went to university then the next year yeah

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so when I got into uni I received a scholarship it was a three-year scholarship for every year

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that I was in university and it was like a lot of money

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and I just wanted the scholarship just to prove to myself

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that I could get it

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but I really wanted to use the money to tackle an issue

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so I started Mindgap Ireland which was a social project

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that collects anonymous stories and I was the first in Ireland to do

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that and then what I would do was I would get people to reach out they would share their stories

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and then we would pay for them to get therapy

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because at the time you could be in the waiting list for like five years the list was really long

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so I would pay for it so they could go

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and get therapy and we pay for like six sessions for each person

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and we were doing that I did that for like three to four years

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and then I also did sponsorship for young girls to gain education

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so it's called sponsor a girl and I did

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that for a year where I sponsored two

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or three children to go again education

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so they don't become child brides as well

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and that's basically what we do we collect anonymous stories we've collected over 10k anonymous stories in seven years

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and every single story we collect is from a non-reporter

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and we're turning non-reporters into reporters into statistics

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and what we found out of

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that 10k 80% were under the age of 16 as young as five years old

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when they experienced the sexual violence and we were the first point of contact to ever share their story.

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Even when I came to Ireland the amount of times

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that I was told that my parents told me

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that they would kill me or they would send me back to Nigeria if I ever told anybody

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even

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when I went to the foster care the amount of times

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the government in Ireland have tried to keep my story a

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secret has been insane like they've tried to silence me

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so many times in Ireland because my story looks really bad

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because they have to explain how they wrote a letter to

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my parents allowing for their daughter to come into the country

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so I have a government letter that says

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that I can come into the country but my sister wasn't their child

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so how was she allowed in the country

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and why were they paid off nobody checked the airport to

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see how we got into the country in the first place

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and then as well the amount of social workers

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that came into the house multiple times nobody did anything

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so i think it holds them accountable

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and they don't want to be held accountable i've written letters to the government

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and the government actually wrote back to me i met up with them

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and they said to me trafficking is not popular in ireland only three percent of children get trafficked

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and that's what they said to me when i told them my story

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and then they never spoke to me again i ran to other governments where i have text messages messages

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and they literally don't even reply they don't say anything they don't take it seriously

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or they don't take it seriously

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because at the end of the day they see it as

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an african issue not an irish issue even though i've told

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them the amount of children like i'll give an example the

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time i lived with my parents i can generally say i

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watched at least at least in a month 50 children at those parties get trafficked

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and I was there for five years and all African children because nobody cares about the African children.

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If it was a group of white children from Ireland

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that this was happening to there would be an uproar about

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it they'd be like well why is their Irish children going missing

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and nobody's talking about them but

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when it's black children from Africa it seemed more like well

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send them back to their country is not a problem here even before it came out in public

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and they do not care and the people that I've told it to is like the minister for children

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the minister of justice and the people

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that should care don't like I was angry

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because it was kind of like how dare you try to tell me

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that this is not a problem because if people were to be

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if people were here watching you talk like this you wouldn't say any of these things it's

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because we're one-to-one and nothing's recorded that you don't think it's a problem

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and it was obviously the guy

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that I met up with was a man he was the

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it was for the minister of i think justice at the time

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which was a woman she didn't even meet up with me

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because it wasn't a big enough problem for her

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but then the next day i seen her posting about um

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advocating for children of sexual abuse even though she literally looked at my letter

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and said i'm not going to meet up with you

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but then the guy

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that she sent to meet up with me literally was on

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the phone call says to me this is not a problem From all what you told me, what hurt you the most?

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I think for me, it's definitely how much of my story they've made invisible.

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It's literally like I don't exist.

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So like my government, my, I'm sorry, documents are completely fake.

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Where I'm born is not, I wasn't even born in Nigeria.

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But my passport says, my document says Nigeria, my birth certificate is completely fake

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so everything about me is fake everything about my sister is fake

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and it's like we don't exist if you were to look at the government

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and history of us we literally it's like we literally don't exist our story doesn't exist

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but that's the way they've made it into the system so

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when we come out we tell our stories we're literally invisible people that don't exist

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i think for me i think it's a government issue at the time where the government knew

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that this was a problem in the airports

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and it was a problem in Ireland but I think that

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if they had said

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that this is actually happening in Ireland they would look like

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another way everybody says traffic only happens in developing countries well

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then they would have to say well no that's not the case it's happening here

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so I think

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that it's a government issue with them allowing children to be

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trafficked into their country that's the problem do you think it's still happening yes I know it's still happening

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because when i was in foster care i had just left there was actually a child

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that i seen that it was happening to

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because i actually spoke to her and i wrote to my social worker

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and asked her to visit the house and she didn't and then that child went missing next day

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and your dad is how what is he doing now he's

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a taxi driver they i got no justice for what happened to me

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because it doesn't that's the way it happens in ireland like

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if you get pointed care your parents just go roaming free

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they can have more children they get to just work and nothing happens

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yeah i think like for me is knowing that i would never get

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that closure i would never get

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that justice at all i never even get to know who i really am

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because right now i don't know who i really am i think for me it makes me angry knowing

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that they're roaming around free and they just get to live their life

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but at the same time i feel like i just had to let go of it

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because i'm never never going to get that answer like i'm just not

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and because i was so young when it happened as well i've had

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so many years of having to deal with it

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that i feel like it's built a lot of strength in

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me to be able to just move on without the closure

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like i think this is a hard one for people to understand

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but i think i would say to her like genuinely like i'm generally

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so sorry that she had to go through that as a child

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because i feel like people don't understand what it's like

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until you go through it like I think it's

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so sometimes easy to see somebody as this villain

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and I see what the things that she's done wrong but

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when you're brought up in that culture it's very normal like it really is

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and I just feel so sorry for her that nobody helped her

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and now she's turned into the villain of her own story

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I think for me it's very scary to tell somebody when something's happening, especially when you're young and somebody's threatening you your life.

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But it's so important that you speak up for yourself

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or tell a trusted person because it's the only thing that will free you from that situation.

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And I wish I did say something earlier.

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So I would say to anybody that is still a victim now to tell somebody

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if they can what is happening or try to get their hands on the phone, anything at all to try to get out of that situation that they're in.

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Контекст и фон разговора

Видео рассказывает историю Дестини Аё Вогана, рожденной в Нигерии в условиях крайнего бедности. Её тёща продала её замуж в возрасте 5 лет, используя обман и подкуп. Дестини описывает страдания, насилие и манипуляции, которые она пережила, а также то, как позже сумела освободиться и основать некоммерческую организацию для борьбы с детским сексуальным насилием. Этот разговор не только раскрывает важную социальную проблему, но и содержит естественный разговорный английский, полезный для практики.

5 ключевых фраз для повседневной коммуникации

Extreme poverty — крайнее бедность. Пример: "We grew up in extreme poverty, with no doors or toilets."
Bribe into — подкупить, обманом заставить. Пример: "They bribed me into agreeing to the marriage by promising school."
Groom into — манипулировать, готовить к чему-то (в плохом смысле). Пример: "He was grooming me into trusting him with food."
Make a connection — установить контакт. Пример: "Did you start to make a connection with him emotionally?"
Come from — быть рожденным, расти в определённых условиях. Пример: "Coming from poverty, I wasn't used to such food."

Пошаговое руководство по shadowing для этого видео

Shadowing (или "тень") — эффективная техника для улучшения произношения и речи на английском. Вот как работать с этим видео:

Посмотрите видео без субтитров, чтобы понять общий смысл. Обратите внимание на интонацию Дестини, её паузы и эмоции.
Выберите короткий отрывок (5-7 секунд) и повторите его сразу после произнесения. Используйте shadowing site или приложения для записи своей речи, чтобы сравнить с оригиналом.
Фокус на звуках и ритме. Обратите внимание на сочетания "extreme poverty" (выделите "ex-") или "grooming into" (мягкий "g"). Практикуйте shadow speech, чтобы повторять ритм и ударения.
Анализируйте эмоциональную окраску. Дестини говорит о страданиях, поэтому её речь бывает медленной и напряжённой. Проверьте, как вы передаёте эти эмоции в shadow speak.
Повторяйте каждый отрывок 5-10 раз, пока не почувствуете уверенность. Это поможет развить автоматизм речи и улучшить понимание естественного языка.

Техника shadowspeaks особенно эффективна для такого контента, так как он содержит разговорные фразы и эмоциональную окраску, которые важны для живого общения. Практикуйте регулярно, и вы заметите прогресс в произношении и уверенности!

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Условные предложения if + предложение, will/would + глагол — условие и его результат	if there was something wrong I would just · if I work for free would you
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	we've ever heard · has definitely been taken · we've collected
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	being picked · was born · was brought
Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете	Ireland, which is · men who were · somebody who was

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

Практика Shadowing: She Was Sold to a "Husband" at Age 5 - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

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Контекст и фон разговора

5 ключевых фраз для повседневной коммуникации

Пошаговое руководство по shadowing для этого видео

Грамматика в этом видео

Что такое техника Shadowing?