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Before the Roman Empire, there was the Roman Republic.

And before that was the Roman Kingdom.

And all of this actually didn't start in Rome.

It started in Alba Longa, an ancient city about 25 kilometers away from nowadays Rome.

There in the year 771 before Christ, the king of Alba Longa, Numitor, is chilling on his balcony enjoying his Latin Empire,

when his younger brother Amulius suddenly pushes him into early retirement.

At the same time, Amulius' followers also kill all of Numitor's suitable children to make sure he becomes the new rightful ruler.

Only Sylvia, Numitor's sole daughter survives the balcony party.

And to make sure she doesn't produce any new heirs, she gets assigned to fate worse than death.

She was forced to become a Vestal Virgin, a priestess forbidden from having children.

Well, haha, that solves that, Amelius thought to himself.

But then, Then a miracle happened.

Somehow Sylvia gets pregnant, even though she was supposed to be a virgin.

Now don't get your hopes up since it wasn't Jesus Christ just yet folks, but it was Rome's original founders, Romulus and Remus.

After a presumably very chaotic childbirth and a very awkward welcome baby gathering, it was time for the next family drama.

How did you get pregnant while being a virgin?

I was literally wrecked by the god of war Mars.

THE god of war?

Mars?

Yes.

That is the worst excuse I've ever heard.

It's not an excuse, it's literally the myth.

What?

But whether Amelius believed it or not, he now had a much bigger and cuter problem.

With the newborn twin boys around, his claim for the throne started to become wobbly, as there was a legitimate heir now.

Better call Saul.

And now the part I think everyone knows.

Eventually the basket of the two babies crashes into the river bank

and the twins roll into the cold wet sand that is rough and gets everywhere.

Well, this is it, said Romulus Doremus in a very manly and sexy voice.

Yes, brother, it was an honor sharing the same womb with you.

And just when they think they are about to die, a female wolf jumps from the bushes and sucks the - Okay, this is straight up becoming a bible story now.

Virgins giving birth, kings ordering to kill babies and the wolf feeding two twins?

What's next, the Tower of Babylon?

Well, chronically speaking, yes, but I get the hint.

This all is a myth, it might or might not have happened.

But it is crucial to the birth of Rome, which we are about to talk about actually, so why Why don't you shut your mouth,

sit down and enjoy the free entertainment? Who are you even?

Get out of here!

Anyway, after being raised by the wolf for an unknown time, the boys grow older and stronger.

Like, ABSURDLY strong.

Living on protein rich wolf milk apparently turns you into ancient Jojo characters.

So one day, while they are out flexing in the woods and doing whatever feral demigod teenagers do, a shepherd finds them, adopts the twins

and teaches them presumably how to speak since they were literal furries till then

and the twins grew up into two tall muscular troublemakers.

One day Romulus and Remus get into a fight with some thugs who work for guess who, King Amulius and during the brawl the twins learn the truth.

They are not random forest boys, they are the lost princess of Alba Longa, the rightful heirs that Amulius tried to river delete.

So naturally the boys decide to go on a bizarre adventure.

They march straight back to Alba Longa, Gather the locals, shout something dramatic like, please become a member of the YouTube channel historically.

And together with the people of the city, they overthrow uncle Aemilius and… reinstate their grandpa Numiter who apparently survived the fall?

Grandpa gets reinstated as a king and everyone is cheering, celebrating, throwing flowers etc. Everyone except Romulus and Remus because they started to like this whole army thing.

So they decided to build a city together a couple kilometers over.

Eventually, they find a great spot near the Tiber River.

Beautiful scenery, seven hills, perfect vantage points, a village of a blacksmith… all was going well.

But then, because this is Roman legend, disaster strikes.

They can't agree where to put the city.

We should put the city on Palatine Hill.

Uh no, Avantine Hill.

No my location is better.

No mine's better.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. And suddenly the founding of the Roman Empire became a sibling argument that could have been solved with,

like, I don't know, a coin.

But no, this is ancient Italy, so instead they go, let's just ask the gods.

They hold a contest.

Whoever sees more birds wins divine approval.

Because why not?

Remus goes, I saw six birds.

Romulus then responded, cool, I saw 12.

You cheated!

The gods love me more bro!

They literally don't!

I hate you!

Romulus decides to just start building a tiny wall.

If his brother won't help him, he will just make the city himself.

And Remus, being a certified older brother menace, decides to clown on him.

Remus hops over the wall like it's nothing and goes, Oh no, Luke, I'm in your super secure city, brother!

What will you do?

Arrest me?

Hmmmm.

Haha, your city sucks!

What, you gonna found an empire on my corpse?

He did.

And this is the start of Rome.

Historically extra long facts, part 16.

So Romulus is now king, right?

But Rome at this point is basically a homeless camp.

To attract people, Romulus calls it an asylum city, and not the medical kind, the everyone who is on the run from something, come on in kind.

Which means suddenly Rome fills up with runaway slaves, debt dodgers, exiles, guys who stole goats,

guys who are goats, criminals and a couple lost tourists.

Romulus looks at his crowd and goes, perfect as city.

But there is a problem, a huge problem, because Rome has food, hills, walls, chaotic men, one king,

but exactly zero women to have children with.

This is an issue.

Oh you think?

Shut up.

So, Rome hosts a big festival and invites their neighbors, the Sabines, and tell them, come celebrate, bring the whole family, there will be snacks.

Let's be honest, no one can ignore such a great housewarming party.

So the Sabines show up, and everyone's vibing.

But then, mid -party, Romulus gives the signal, and the Romans just kidnap all the Sabine women.

100

Rome literally solved its gender imbalance with an 8th century BC Tinder kidnapping event.

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Papa Mars would be proud.

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The next morning, the Sabine men wake up with a hangover and are furious.

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They attack Rome, obviously, and we get the first official Roman war.

104

Just… three years after the birth of the place.

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Bravo!

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The Sabine women walk out between the armies and yell, stop!

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We don't want our new husbands killing our old families.

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Stop being stupid!

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Merge the kingdoms and continue your lives.

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And they do.

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Just like that, the Sabines and Romans became one people.

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Which must have been awkward at the dinner table.

113

From here, Rome cycles through 6 more kings.

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We still have over a thousand years of Roman history to cover, so I'll just speedrun us through this.

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Timer please!

116

The first king is Romulus.

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He creates the Senate, did all the crazy stuff we just went over, then disappears one day in a storm.

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Romans say he ascended to heaven, though he probably just tripped and died.

119

Romulus was followed by the second king, a Sabine king who creates the Roman religion, builds temples, actually does not fight anyone for a while and dies peacefully.

120

The third king was basically the opposite of his predecessor and decided religion is cringe and fighting is so much cooler.

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So he attacks and destroys Alba Longa, followed by absorbing their population.

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He dies because he angered a god, supposedly.

123

So the fourth king, a half Sabine, half Roman person, takes power, brings back religion, yet expands Rome forcefully.

124

He also starts paving the way for his followers by building prisons, ports and bridges.

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The next king kept the spirit going

126

and constructed the massive sewer system we still applaud Rome for to this day

127

and becomes insanely powerful so he gets assassinated by his political opponents.

128

And so did his successor who was abusing his power left and right.

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Though he did build a wall, but it didn't stop the Mexicans.

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Finally, the seventh king who was so incredibly sinister and cruel

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that he was expelled from the city by the people of Rome.

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And just to prevent any more idiotic kings from taking over, the Roman people turned the place from a kingdom to a republic.

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And with that, we enter the era of the Roman Republic.

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Yes, still not empire.

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Which, in theory, means no more kings.

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Ever.

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We are done.

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We have learned our lesson.

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So, instead of one king, they elect two consuls.

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We'll have the power of a king, but definitely aren't kings.

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They rule at the same time and can veto each other to quote on quote keep each other in balance.

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They also switch out each year.

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I'm sure that will go well.

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Let's see how well go - Oh my god it's all burning down.

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Ever wondered how Rome became so militaristic?

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It wasn't just because their first king's daddy was the god of war, it's actually because of what's happening right here in front of us.

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Rome wasn't the only city they liked to plunder and kill, because the French in the ancient Gaul region wanted to do it before them.

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And the Romans lost to them.

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And not just a bit.

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The Gauls enter Rome, loot it, burn most of it, sit around like it's a camping trip, and leave only after the Romans paid him a ransom in gold.

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This event might as well be Rome's original story of their villain arc.

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Never again can we be this humiliated, said the Rooms to each other.

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So, they turn ultra, ultra militaristic.

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Anything that isn't nailed to the ground is about to get conquered.

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And, oh god, were they good at it.

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They started with their Latin neighbors, then some hill tribes, then Greek colonies, then more tribes, then even more tribes.

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Basically, if you lived near early Rome, you were about to receive a very polite invitation to join the Republic or be flattened by it.

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But the real challenge comes from across the water in the south.

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Carthage.

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They have a massive navy, way too much money, a beautiful city and elephant.

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You know, the kind of neighbor Rome absolutely can't tolerate.

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So the two republics start fighting in what historians very casually call the Punic Wars.

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Which is basically a trilogy movie about chaos.

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In the first movie, Rome goes, you know what, we want that island.

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Carthage responds by saying that you don't even have a navy to stop us.

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And Rome responds by building a navy by stealing the design of the Carthaginian ships and win anyway.

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1 -0 for Rome.

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Then the second war starts.

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And this is the big one.

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Hannibal appears.

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This man shows up with 50 ,000 troops, 37 elephants and the determination of many years of deep -rooted racism.

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He gathers in Spain, marches his army over the alps which is insane even today and absolutely wrecks Rome for years.

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Rome eventually wins because they are Rome, but yeah, Hannibal made them sweat.

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That's 2 -0 for Rome.

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Then the third war is basically Rome saying, Carthage still exists and that bothers us.

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So they delete the whole city from the timeline.

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Boom, gone, survivals of the fittest or whatever.

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And just for good measure, so they won't fight again, they enslave the whole city.

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And so, with their only real rival out of the way, Rome gets addicted to expansion like the British got to Opium.

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They conquer Spain, North Africa, Greece, Turkey, and of course, the Gaul region.

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Instead of going to therapy about what happened to them before, Rome literally conquered 10 % of humanity, enslaved another 2 %

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and destroyed entire civilizations just to make sure they were strong

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enough to have revenge against the Gauls for what they did 330 years before.

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And the man who gets to deal the final blow to these Frenchies is Julius Caesar.

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Caesar is basically the final boss of the Roman Republic.

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He marches into Gaul with a relatively small army and proceeds to absolutely dismantle the place.

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And by dismantle I mean defeat tribe after tribe, conquer all of France, dip into Belgium,

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flirt with Germany and then casually invade Britain just to see what they taste like.

189

He comes back to Rome so powerful that the Senate becomes afraid of him.

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So they order him to come to Rome alone and to leave his army behind.

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He naturally refuses and starts marching to the capital anyway.

192

The Senate panics and flee as Caesar enters the city with little to no resistance.

193

But that doesn't mean Rome was his just yet.

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He still had to defeat the disputed leader and his allies before he can legally become, I don't know, the first dictator Rome has seen in 500 years?

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He fights all across the continent.

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Boinks Cleopatra on the way because why not?

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And after four years finally gains control of the republic.

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Half the senate likes him, the other half wants to kill him by stabbing him 23 times.

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But is that hate justified?

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Well, kind of.

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But also absolutely not.

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Caesar wasn't a straight up evil guy most people portray him as today.

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He was actually doing a lot of stuff that regular Romans loved.

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He fixed the chaotic calendar so months actually made sense.

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And it's why we now have 365 days.

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July is literally named after him, so you're welcome.

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He lowered taxes, canceled debts, expanded citizenship, rebuilt half the city, gave lands to veterans of war, regulated grain supply so poor people didn't starve

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and tried to keep the army under control so rogue generals wouldn't create another civil war.

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But, and this is the but the senate couldn't ignore, Caesar was also absorbing every political office he possibly could.

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A dictator?

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Yup.

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Consul?

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Sure.

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Pontifex Maximus aka the head priest?

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Why not?

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Basically the man was collecting powers like they were Pokemon cards.

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And the Sanad, who spent 500 years being paranoid about kings, looked at this and went, oh god he's becoming a king!

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So they decide to save the republic by doing the most republic destroying thing possible.

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They murder him in the middle of a sanad meeting.

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And this This might have been the dumbest thing they could have possibly done.

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Because tiny problem, everyone liked Caesar except the senators.

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The liberators walk out of the senate like, we did it guys, we saved the republic.

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While the roman people are more like, you killed the guy who lowered our taxes and gave us free grain?

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Let's just hope this somehow doesn't escalate.

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Look how they massacred my boy!

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This is Mark Anthony, Caesar's bestie who is apparently really upset that his friend is dead.

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But don't let it fool you, in reality he really just enjoys power, and is about to usurp that power all to himself.

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Not on my watch, says Octavius, the adopted 18 year old grand nephew of Caesar.

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Octavius might look like an adorable baby boy, way, but in reality he is a cunning war criminal.

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Marc Anthony, Octavius and some random other guy that doesn't matter become the new united leaders of Rome, but in reality it's more like Marc Anthony and Octavius trying to become the sole leader.

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Luc has it for Octavius that Marc is a massive simp.

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And he too, just like Caesar, gets seduced by Cleopatra.

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So Marc leaves for Egypt, showers her in gifts, and Octavius sees this as the perfect opportunity to depose his rival.

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Look, he's only spending his time in Egypt with his E -girl.

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And guess what?

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He is definitely planning to move the capital from Rome to Alexandria.

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We should depose of him.

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It was a blatant lie, but the Romans believed it.

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They attack Egypt, defeat the Egyptians, and the love couple takes the easy way out to avoid being humiliated in Rome.

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That leaves Octavius as the sole ruler.

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He blatantly steals the plot of the good Star Wars movies, because he declares himself first citizen, or Imperator and usurps all the power to himself.

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Finally, by the Senate or whatever is left of it after a campaign of revenge

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and bloodshed for what a few of them did to Caesar, he is named Augustus, which means all kinds of fancy things.

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And since this day, in the year 27 before Christ, yes all of this happened before the man himself even spawned in, the Roman Empire is officially born!

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Or wait, I mean Empire is officially born!

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Man, I'm getting hungry.

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We're at the halfway point now, so best to take a short break.

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All roads lead to Rome.

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Which is actually true, unless you live in any of these continents.

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But why do they lead to Rome?

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Well that is

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because Rome in its empire phase started to learn how to

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stabilize instead of endlessly expanding like for example the Mongols used to do.

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That is also why their empire fell apart so quickly while Rome managed to survive way longer.

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Anyway, eyes on me please as we continue our story as we enter Rome's golden age.

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Rome has become very quickly a fully centralized empire.

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And Augustus, the first emperor, is the reason it doesn't immediately collapse again.

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The key thing to understand about Augustus is that he is not trying to be impressive.

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He is trying to be permanent.

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And because of that, he might be the single greatest emperor to ever exist.

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He knows exactly why the Republic failed.

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It wasn't because Rome lacked laws or values or tradition.

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It failed because the army stopped belonging to the state and started belonging to individual men.

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Every civil war, from Marius to Sulla to Caesar, followed the same pattern.

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Soldiers fought for generals, not for Rome.

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So Augustus fixes that first.

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He turns the Roman army into a professional standing force.

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No more temporary legions raised for single wars.

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Soldiers now enlist for roughly 20 years.

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They receive regular pay from the state, standardized equipment and a guarantee retirement package.

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Land grants come from the government, not from a general promising rewards if his rebellion succeeds.

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This one change alone, removes the main fuel for a civil war.

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Augustus also limits how much military power any single governor can control.

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Provinces with large armies are separated from provinces with large wealth.

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No one gets both.

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Generals are rotated, commands are time limited, and loyalty flows upwards, not sideways.

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Rome now maintains around 25 to 30 legions.

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Roughly 150 ,000 professional roman soldiers.

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Backed by at least as many auxiliary troops.

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Permanently stationed across the empire.

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This is expensive, but it gives rom something it never really had before.

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A standby response unit.

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On top of that, Augustus changes Roman war strategy.

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Instead of endless expansion, Rome now focuses on securing the borders.

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Spain is fully pacified after decades of resistance.

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The Alps are conquered to eliminate raiding routes into Italy.

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In the Balkans, rebellions are crushed and the Danube becomes a hardened frontier.

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In the east, Augustus avoids full -scale war with Partia.

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He uses diplomacy and pressure to recover Roman standards lost in earlier defeats.

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He presents this as victory to the public, even though no major war was fought.

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It shows how the emperor really tries to keep the empire alive, but that doesn't mean the wars stop.

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Along the Rhine and Danube, Roman legions are constantly active.

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Forts are built every few kilometers.

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Roads connect them so troops can move quickly.

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These regions were anything but peaceful, and because of that, it actually had soldiers living there permanently.

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In 9 AD, three Roman legions march into Germania under the general Varus.

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They are ambushed by Germanic forces led by Arminius, a former Roman ally trained in Roman warfare.

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The legions are wiped out almost completely in the Toytoberg forest.

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Mind you, that is 20 ,000 professional soldiers dead just like that.

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How could a general fumble so badly?

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Well, let's take a look at the traitor, Arminius.

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Arminius knows Rome better than most Romans do.

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He grew up around them, served in their army, earned their trust, and learned exactly how legions move, fight, and think.

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He knows their discipline, he knows their confidence, and most importantly, he knows their biggest weakness.

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Romans assume everyone wants to become Roman.

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But back home, where Arminius is from, Germania, Roman rule doesn't feel like order, it feels more like suffocation.

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Roman courts replace local customs, Roman law overrides tribal authority, taxes are imposed, obedience is expected.

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What Rome calls civilization, Arminius sees as the slow erasure of everything his people are.

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To him, Germania isn't being conquered by the sword anymore, it's being absorbed quietly, permanently.

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And Arminius understands that once Rome finishes that process, resistance will be impossible.

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So he decides this is the moment.

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He doesn't rebel openly, that would fail immediately.

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Instead, he stays loyal on the surface.

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To Varus, Arminius is the perfect Roman ally.

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Calm, cooperative, warning him about small uprisings that supposedly need to be dealt with, he convinces Varus that Germania is already under control,

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that this whole operation is just going to be a routine clean up.

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Varus believes him.

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The legions move as if they are on administrative duty, not a military campaign.

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They march stretched out, hauling wagons, supplies and even civilians through terrain they don't understand.

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Forests close in, roads disappear, rain turns the paths into mud.

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This is no place for Roman formations and Arminius knows it.

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Then the attacks begin.

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Not a battle, a slaughter.

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Germanic fighters strike from the forest, disappear when the Romans try to respond and then strike again.

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Harder.

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Because the legions are strung out for kilometers in narrow terrain, units can't form up and orders don't travel.

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Roman discipline still exists, but there is nothing to apply it to.

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Rome is used to fighting on open ground.

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One army facing another.

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But not Konga lining through the dense forests while being dismantled piece by piece.

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Varus hears reports of attacks but doesn't react decisively.

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He hesitates, assuming it's just minor banditry causing delays.

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He keeps pushing forward, believing the situation can still be managed, but it can't.

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Over several days, the army collapses.

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Units are isolated, officers are killed.

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By the time Varus realizes this isn't unrest but a full betrayal, there is no army left to save.

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More than 20 ,000 career soldiers are dead because of his blindness.

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Varus takes his own life rather than return to Rome as

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the man who lost three legions without ever fighting a proper battle.

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The Germanic tribes, Rome's barbarians, slip out of Roman control thanks almost entirely to Arminius.

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The legions number 17, 18 and 19 are never used again, forever locked away with Rome's unresolved traumas.

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More importantly, because of this, Roman policy changes permanently.

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Augustus abandons the idea of conquering Germania.

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The Rhine becomes the frontier.

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Rome stops pushing outward and commits fully to defense.

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This decision defines the Empire's borders for centuries.

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It was time for solidifying ground and making sure no silly little man would start a world religion.

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Spoilers.

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When Augustus dies in 14 AD, he leaves behind something unprecedented.

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A Roman state that is stable, defensible and no longer tearing itself apart.

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His actions single -handedly were the foundation of the golden age.

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Now, before we continue with emperors and wars, it's worth stopping for a moment and looking at what living in the peak of Rome's golden era was really like.

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For the average Roman citizen living inside the empire, especially in Italy or a major province, life is structured in a way that is rare for the ancient world.

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Cities have paved roads, stone building aqueducts, public baths, markets, courts and written laws.

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Grain distributions keep large populations fed.

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Trade moves freely across thousands of kilometers.

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Most people are not wealthy, many live modestly, and slavery is widespread and brutal.

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But there is stability.

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If you are inside the empire, you live within a system that absorbs shocks.

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Famine, crime and violence exist, but there is an administration to respond to them.

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Now, compare all of that to the average person outside of the empire, often labeled a barbarian by Roman writers.

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Most of these societies are rural and decentralized.

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Political authority depends on the person.

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There are no standing armies, no long distance infrastructure networks, no permanent bureaucracies.

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Life is harder, but more flexible.

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Taxes are lower, but protection is limited.

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When something goes terribly wrong, there are no larger systems to intervene.

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See, this contrast matters.

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Because for centuries, Rome doesn't just defeat and fight these peoples, it also attracts them.

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Roman service offers pay.

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Roman cities offer security.

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Roman citizenship offers legal rights.

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Many people outside of the empire don't want to destroy Rome, they want access to what it provides.

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And that will matter later.

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For now, it's time for the next emperor to take power.

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Spin the wheel of misfortune!

394

Wait, good?

395

Oh, this thing is definitely rigged.

396

Meet the adopted son of Augustus, Emperor Tiberius.

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He's a capable guy, an experienced guy, but most interestingly, an extremely introverted guy who is deeply suspicious of literally everyone and hates being in public.

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From the day he took the role as emperor, which he essentially got forced into by Augustus, he didn't do anything too radical.

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He simply kept himself secluded to the point he abandons living in Rome and moves to the island of Capri, where he reigned the empire from there.

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That was a little bit of a mistake, since there was no one in Rome anymore to enforce orders directly, though it did come in handy for the Praetorian Guard,

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who were originally created by Augustus as an elite protective unit.

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These soldiers are heavily armed, permanently stationed in Rome and loyal not to the state, but to the emperor personally.

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Problem is, with Emperor Tiberius living on an island, the Praetorian Guard commander becomes one of the most powerful men in the city.

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He controls access to the emperor, filters information and increasingly influences decisions.

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Behind the curtains of Rome, power is no longer flowing through institutions and the senate is always seen as a joke.

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The never ending corruption has begun.

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Meanwhile in the far province of Judea, a local religious figure named Jesus of Nazareth is arrested by local authorities and handed over to the roman administration.

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He is executed for causing unrest and refusing to acknowledge Roman authority in the way expected of him.

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The execution is routine and crucifixion is standard Roman punishment.

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As far as the empire is concerned, this all is a minor provincial matter.

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Barely even worth recording and Rome moves on.

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When Emperor Tiberius eventually dies in 37 AD, the balance of power inside Rome was already distorted.

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The Praetorian guard actively starts playing a key role in ensuring the next emperor supports their wishes and desires.

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They choose Caligula, a great grandson of Emperor Augustus.

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At first he does what they expect him to do, but long story short, because I don't want to cover all, what, 90 emperors Rome had in full detail,

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Emperor Caligula gets a bit too cocky.

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So, the Praetorian guard simply kills the emperor, and on the spot immediately select a replacement themselves.

418

They find Caligula's uncle Claudius and declare him the new emperor.

419

Needless to say, Rome has now crossed yet another line.

420

The Emperor is no longer chosen by tradition, legitimacy or public consensus.

421

He is chosen by the soldiers standing closest to him.

422

Emperor Claudius turns out to be more competent than expected since he expands the Empire, strengthens administration and keeps the system functioning.

423

But the precedent remains.

424

Everyone now understands that the Praetorian Guard is not just a protective force.

425

It's the ruling force.

426

After Claudius, power passes to Augustus' great -great -grandson, Nero.

427

Nero is obsessed with personal image and is careless about his power.

428

He is basically the complete opposite of the legendary first emperor.

429

He caused rebellions, a financial collapse and half of Rome burned down during his reign.

430

The senate and the army lose confidence in him and those who actually matter if they support you or not, the Praetorian guard, also ended up giving up their support.

431

Which basically means your time is up.

432

Nero flees Rome and as it's clear he is going to get arrested and executed, he takes his own life.

433

And with Nero's passing in the year 68, we not only end the Julius Caesar dynasty reign, but also end in the very chaotic year of 69.

434

Also known as the year of the four emperors.

435

Four men claim and sit on the throne in a single year.

436

Not because they are great leaders, but because different armies across the empire back different candidates.

437

One emperor gets murdered, another one gets overthrown, another rules for a few months.

438

Civil war breaks out across the entire empire.

439

Legions that were supposed to defend borders are now actively marching on each other.

440

Eventually, one man wins.

441

Vespasian.

442

Not because he is charismatic, not because he is loved, but because he has the strongest army.

443

He restores order, mostly by force, and hands the empire to his sons afterwards.

444

So yay, Rome survives!

445

But now everyone yet again knows the truth about emperor legitimacy.

446

Because if you control the army, you control Rome, no matter how bad of a leader you are.

447

Naturally, for the next century, emperors rise and drop dead like flies every other weak.

448

It is extremely chaotic and not that interesting because it just comes down to this emperor bad, he gets killed, this emperor a bit better,

449

but the Praetorian guard don't like him, so he is also killed, etc etc etc. So just to summarize the next century, here are a couple highlights.

450

In the year 117, under emperor Traian, the Roman Empire reaches its historical peak, with the capture of what is nowadays Romania, Jordan and Armenia.

451

In 193 AD, the Praetorian guard, who are yes still in power even 200 years later, literally sell the title of emperor to the highest bidder.

452

Emperor Julianus ended up reigning for just 66 days until he got executed in the palace by another general, aka the next emperor.

453

And in the beginning of the third century, Christianity started to spread like crazy.

454

And that was annoying for the Roman elite.

455

Christians refused to worship Roman gods and instead worshiped, well, the Christian god.

456

But that wasn't the only crisis they faced.

457

The whole third century was hell for the Roman Empire.

458

Emperors went from switching monthly to weekly.

459

And most die violently.

460

The empire nearly fractures into separate states.

461

Germanic invasions hit the west while Persian armies press from the east.

462

Meanwhile massive plagues tear through cities and hyperinflation destroys the economy me.

463

Sounds like 2020 all over again.

464

I can't make it clear enough.

465

It was a chaotic mess.

466

And eventually, one emperor accepts the obvious.

467

The empire is just too big, too unstable, too complex to be ruled the old way.

468

So he makes a radical change.

469

He chops the empire into pieces.

470

He creates the Tetrarchy.

471

The rule of four.

472

Two senior emperors, two juniors.

473

And on top of that, Emperors now live in border cities to be close to the action, and Rome literally gets abandoned just like that.

474

It's still there, but the power of the empire is now at the front, among four of them.

475

After that genius emperor retires to grow cabbages, yes he really did, the rule of four turns into a battle royale.

476

Who would have guessed?

477

The winner is Constantine.

478

He somehow reunites the empire, but he doesn't move back into the old Roman office.

479

He's seen the future, and the future was in the east.

480

In 330 AD he builds Constantinople.

481

It's built on a massive choke point between Europe and Asia.

482

It's richer than Rome, easier to defend and crucially, it's built as a Christian city.

483

No more old school pagan garbage.

484

Christianity is now the legalized new cool thing.

485

Though the empire is whole, in reality the split into east and west had already settled in.

486

All the rich and intellectual people followed the emperor to the Greek speaking world, while in Rome the Latin speaking folks were left behind as a ghost province.

487

And I know this is a bit of a hot take, but at this point the Byzantine Empire is real.

488

Some people like to call it the Western Roman Empire and the Eastern Empire, but that's lame.

489

They don't even speak Latin like the westerners or live anywhere close to Rome.

490

You know, the Roman Empire.

491

The Eastern Roman part of the empire, at this point in history, evolved into the Byzantine Empire.

492

And that is O 'Hill I'm willing to die on, you can sue me in the comment section.

493

Anyway, if you don't think that is when the Byzantine Empire started, this moment might have.

494

Because the split between East and West became finalized when an emperor, who died in 395 AD, split this empire between his two sons.

495

Classic mistake.

496

And both administrations immediately ceased working together.

497

Rome is officially no longer Rome.

498

By the early 5th century, the non -Byzantine aka Western Roman Empire is laughably weak, and often ruled by foreign kings.

499

It was time to put it out of its misery.

500

It was time for the final blow.

501

And yeah, if you're watching this video with your political uncle who has no filter, you might want to click off now,

502

because he is most likely going to quote what happens now each thanksgiving dinner till there is no tomorrow.

503

You ready?

504

The blow that ended the Roman Empire once and for all was uncontrolled immigration.

505

Introducing the last villains for today.

506

The Huns.

507

They exploded out of the Eurasian steppe in the late 4th century

508

and they were so dangerous that they single handedly caused mass migrations towards Europe.

509

When the Huns smash into the Goths north of the Danube, the Goths very intellectually decide to not stand still and die, so they run.

510

And where do they run?

511

Across the Roman border.

512

Tens of thousands of Goths show up at the Danube asking for asylum.

513

Rome lets them in.

514

On paper, this is manageable, but in reality, corrupt Roman officials starve and exploit them so badly that the Goths revolt.

515

As a direct result, two years later, a Roman army is destroyed and the emperor is killed on the battlefield by the hands of them.

516

That moment is important because after the events of Adrianople, everyone learned something Rome never wanted to teach.

517

If you bring a whole nation into your borders and you can't control them, you are not Not integrating them, you are just importing your future civil war.

518

So the western roman empire starts doing what it will keep doing until it dies.

519

Making deals with armed groups it can't defeat.

520

Here's some land, please just stop burning us.

521

It calms them for a bit, but greed can never be satisfied.

522

And no, it doesn't stop with the goths.

523

Once the border breaks psychologically, the chain reaction begins.

524

More groups move.

525

Some are fleeing the hunts, some are just following opportunity.

526

The Vandals go on a rampage across the west and eventually take North Africa, which is catastrophic.

527

Because North Africa is where the west gets grain and money.

528

Lose Africa, lose taxes.

529

Lose taxes, lose soldiers.

530

Lose soldiers, yeah good luck.

531

In 410, the Visigoths return from last video and sack Rome.

532

Not because Rome is militarily important, but because it's really funny.

533

Then, once the Huns are defeated, Rome the city gets sacked again in 455 because why not?

534

And by 476, when the last Roman Emperor, Romulus Augustulus, who has literally the most ironic name for this moment,

535

since he is both named Romulus, the name of the founder of Rome, and Augustulus, named after the first emperor.

536

Anyway, yeah, he basically got politely asked by his Germanic commander to stop being emperor, and then the Roman Empire is dead.

537

Yeah, sorry guys, no epic final battle or anything, just emperor fatigue.

538

Now, to be realistic about the Eastern and Western Roman divide, the term Byzantine is made up by modern historians.

539

So if you asked everyone back then if the Roman Empire is really dead, they would probably say, no dumbass, it's right there.

540

But this video is long enough already and my pizza is getting cold.

541

If you really want to know what happened to them, them, the Eastern Roman Byzantines survived for a whopping thousand additional years and fought like crazy to survive.

542

They slowly lost more and more territory to Persians, Arabs, Crusaders and finally to the fearsome Ottomans.

543

Till only the city of Constantinople remained.

544

In 1453 the city falls, gets turned from Christian to Muslim and with it, the last state that still calls itself Roman fail.

545

Yes, I just skipped a thousand years of interesting things, but I will make a Byzantine Empire video one day to explain it all in more detail.

546

So subscribe, become a member and don't forget that if you want pizza and make money by doing simple tasks, check out the link in the description.

547

I really hope you enjoyed the long video and we will see you in the next one.

548

Bye bye.

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Сценарий: История Рима через диалог

В видео рассказывается о легендарном происхождении Рима — от разгона царя Нумитора братом Амулием до спасения близнецов Ромула и Рема волчицей. Диалог сочетает мифологию с иронией, создавая живой и запоминающийся контекст для практики разговорного английского. Такие истории помогают усвоить не только слова, но и тон общения, что важно для natural speech.

Полезные фразы и сочетания

push into early retirement — заставить уйти в отставку раньше срока (в контексте: Амулий «отправил» брата на пенсию)
fate worse than death — судьба хуже смерти (Сильвия стала вестальной девой, что считалось таким)
legitimate heir — законный наследник (близнецы были правыми наследниками престола)
overthrow — свергнуть (Ромул и Рем свергли Амулия)
reinstate — восстановить на посту (дедушку Нумитора вернули на трон)

Эти сочетания часто используются в разговорах о политике, истории или семейных конфликтах — запомните их, чтобы выражать идеи точнее!

Ваше задание: shadowing challenge

Для практики shadow speak возьмите отрывок видео с диалогом о Ромуле и Реме. Сначала прослушайте фрагмент длиной 10–15 секунд, затем повторите его сразу за говорящим, копируя интонацию, темп и ударения. Это поможет улучшить ваше произношение и чувство ритма английского. Используйте shadowing site или shadowspeaks, чтобы записать себя и сравнить с оригиналом. Не забывайте: shadow speech — это быстрый способ прогрессировать в практике разговорного английского! Начните прямо сейчас — через 5 минут вы заметите, как ваша речь становится более естественной.

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Условные предложения if + предложение, will/would + глагол — условие и его результат	If his brother won't help
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	was forced · was literally wrecked · being raised
Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете	everyone who is · guys who stole · guys who are
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	I've ever heard · have learned · has seen

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

Практика Shadowing: The ENTIRE History of ROME - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

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Сценарий: История Рима через диалог

Полезные фразы и сочетания

Ваше задание: shadowing challenge

Грамматика в этом видео

Что такое техника Shadowing?