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The way that I felt about craft and life in general was, I don't give a f* what you think, you know?

I don't care what you think about me.

I had come from an environment with very little cheerleading going on.

And so I created a sort of survival instinct where I would cut people out, you know, and minimize opinions.

And the way that I would do that is I had to believe

that my opinion was greater than everybody else's opinion around me

man we got to get to the root of what the

is going on here you know something wrong with you you

know let's get well i got arrested in georgia for fighting with a cop wound up in rehab

and uh didn't hear a damn thing about god spirituality personal

growth accountability my whole as soon as i got to rehab was let me get back to this hustle

so i started writing a script in rehab that's how mad

i was i wasn't listening to no therapy i had been therapized my whole life

that it felt like you want me to focus on the

problem well how am i gonna like how am I gonna hack this focusing on the problem thing

and how am I gonna find my way back to this hustle

so I can get back to my ego

because really all I cared about was my ego I didn't

give a about getting well you know it was all about

get well for you get well for the camera I have

experienced ego death you can't run no more bro you got

to let go you got to let go in full

and I want to get in my car

and I drive up to Utah and I'm in Utah for three months and while I'm in In Utah it allows me, it gives me, they take my cell phone from me.

And if they didn't take my cell phone from me, I was never gonna be able to deal with what I needed to deal with.

I had never known how to pray cause I could never cultivate silence.

I had no absence in my life.

Every unforgiving minute was full of some f*ing scroll, or some more like ego feed.

Constant, non -stop rotation of this, this ego thing and that ego thing and bop bop bop bop bop.

Just constant fulfillment of like my own personal desires and they took my phone from me.

And just for that reason alone, I would urge anybody to go this route if you're in a situation like mine.

Just to get the phone out of your pocket.

And what that gave me was time to really assess what had been my operating systems.

What had been the motivational force in my life.

Which was always me.

It was always ego.

It was even the smallest decision.

The smallest decision to even go into food.

Everything.

Everything you eat.

Everything was ego.

I would eat that not because it tasted good, but because it would do this or do that you know?

And, um, when do you become a man?

When you get a driver's license?

Like, what do we do?

You're 16, we give you a driver's license?

Okay, well, like, you get a job?

Like, when do you become a man?

You become a man when you become responsible for other people.

And part of that is taking accountability.

I grew up in a culture that told me going to war made you a man.

Going to prison, coming back, coming back, makes you a man.

Making a million dollars makes you a man, you know, and it doesn't.

And you don't know it till you've done all these things and realize damn I'm still a little boy.

Or been around people who've been there a bunch of times.

Also my definition of warrior has changed.

Me too.

You know, I didn't really know what that meant.

And really it's about bringing others back.

And that's my whole mission, really.

It's just like, dudes who've been where I've been, or something similar, just know it gets better.

It does.

It don't make no sense.

It doesn't make no sense.

It's irrational.

It doesn't make any sense on paper that I could have joy in abundance in my life,

that I could feel any kind of joy in my life after being what I've been.

Pain is an adhesive, bro.

If you've been through it, you can connect to people, period, end of story.

Rock bottom bottom isn't when you experience the worst moment in your life

that bottom is when you change It's about what you do with it once it happens.

So like you know I had no love in my life I had no purpose in my life.

My whole purpose as you know was just craft

It was just I'm gonna be good at this thing

and that's all that I have the only thing I care about in life is

Being a good actor and that's such a vapid shallow existence and he said welcome to AA.

And he said, I need you to go home and clear out, like clear the decks.

And I'm like, nah, man, like for me, and I don't know if you felt this way, but every woman was the one for me.

There was never a two.

If you liked me, you were the one.

And that had to do with my insecurity and my fear.

And he's like, well, look, man, I'll tell you what, you know, you can keep doing it your way or you can try some new shit because the way that you're living, you're fully, you're doomed is what he said.

You're doomed.

That was the word.

And I flipped to this page.

He made me flip to this doctor's opinion we got in our book.

And in the doctor's opinion, how our book starts, it mentions the word doomed.

And he's like, this isn't like another AA guy.

This is a doctor telling you you're doomed if you don't figure it out.

And he goes, to put it in perspective, if you went to Kaiser Permanente right now, and they sat you down and put your, you know, x -rayed you and put your x -ray up on a light board

and you're looking at a picture of your clavicle and the doctor said, hey man, you see that gray spot just above your chest cavity?

You're doomed.

And you wouldn't be thinking about the job

that you got to get to or the girl you got to hold on to

or where are you going to go on the, for Father's Day or what that you, immediately your whole life would get very small and the only rational response to that kind of information is, well, what do I do?

And, and I, I'm driving back from the beach back to where I'm living

and and I get out of my car and her bags are packed.

She's on her way out.

100

And something in me from having heard what I just heard, what feels like this is, now I can't get no lower.

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I hear this like I can't call it.

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And it becomes like this, the most diplomatic breakup I ever had in my life.

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And I say, what can I do?

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And can I get you a car?

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And she goes, no, don't worry about it, go get well.

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I just want to give you one more opportunity

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if you want it just to speak about your your wife man

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and just about what she means to you and

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and you know her her path

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and her relationship with all this I know she's been a

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part of your life for a long time just just if you

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if you feel in it just speak on her yeah well

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I'll never be able to speak on I don't I don't

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know nothing like this relationship I never have in my life

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I never had even my parents even my father you know I never had what I got with her

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which is to enter my life to be with me she

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had to take a loss she had to like eat to

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be with me to be with me she had to to

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re -enter being a part of my life she had to take a hit in ways

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that I've spoken about before and in other ways too probably you know

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and uh what I no love to be is selfless loving action

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and i've never known anything as loving or as selflessly

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active as what this woman did for me in my life she showed up for me at a time

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when i mean this is the first time i saw her we had been estranged for like years

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because of my jealousy she went and did a movie with another actor

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and i thought she was cheating on me

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so then i cheated on another baby it was just a mess it all yeah weak little boy like nonsense

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and we hadn't talked for two years

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when all the hit I wound up at this rehab right in Utah

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and they do some call family week

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and every week on a Sunday everybody who's involved in the

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program has their family show up on these Skype calls

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and everybody will show up in the same room your mother

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your father your brother your sister your wife your friends what us you

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and the people know it's you the whole squad of you

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that are in this group like 12 of us

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and my family everyone's family pops up on the screen week

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one no one shows up for me no one they got the calls i know they got the calls

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but no one showed up my mother my father no one no one showed up manager friends no one showed up

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week two same thing so i'm sitting in this room

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and even the person who's like therapizing me she's starting to

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feel like this she's empathizing with where i'm at everybody else

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in the room we dude who like you know this isn't just alcoholics this is like an arsonist

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and like child predators and all kind of wild people in this group right

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and they got people showing up for them

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and i don't have nobody showing up for me week two

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week three i'm there 90 days there comes a point where

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family week comes around i say to my therapist like i'm

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not gonna go you know like i don't i don't want

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to subject myself to this like i'm i'm on a path

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and you know let me just stay here like i don't

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want to keep reminding myself of how my situation is

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and um and she says no i think you should show up this week

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and I show up thinking all right my mom's gonna be on there you know my mom will be on

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and Mia is on the screen you don't deserve

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that kind of you know me you don't deserve

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that kind of like like I don't deserve

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that kind of you know I don't put I don't put her through years and years of

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nonsense bro just like I don't have nothing to offer her

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either you know I mean I'm in the middle of my

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it you know I'm like two months into this program you

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know I don't even have nothing going on I don't even

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have no I have nothing nothing going on I'm making this list she's at the top of list

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but I I'm not reaching out to her nothing like that and Yeah,

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you heard her voice like she's like an angel you know what I mean she and uh

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Everybody does that shit I'm gone you know

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so they let her go first cuz I can't even believe

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and they all know cuz I had no family show up for me

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and she just she unmutes and she's like hi Shia so

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and it's like she's prepping a movie she ain't got no time for this you know

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but she found time and she said hi Shia

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and we just smiled we had nothing else to say

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but she saved my life dog like it before the kid before the job before Before God,

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before any religion, before any of it, before laugh, before a laugh, before a laugh, before a laugh,

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before Bo, before a phone, before anything was this woman's face and uh, there wasn't no promises made,

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there wasn't no long conversation being had, nothing.

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Just her presence, the ministry of presence.

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Sometimes that's all you need to offer a person who's in a situation like that, is like, just to be present.

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And she was present for me at a time when I didn't deserve to have nobody in my life.

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She's a real one, man.

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She's a real one.

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Yeah.

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I'll never be able to...

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I'll never be able to.

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It's the first time I really understood love because I didn't have nothing to give.

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And I was sitting there thinking like, well, I don't have nothing.

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And you're showing up for me like you're going to be tied to this shit.

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It didn't make no fucking sense.

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And love is irrational that way.

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You can't rationalize real love.

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It doesn't make any fucking sense.

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And I had spent my whole life trying to rationalize it.

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Yeah, she gave me hope bro, when I was really like running on fumes.

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I wasn't running on empty, but I was running on fumes.

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I had a sponsor in my life who was kind of, he was saying, yo, be patient, the kid will show up.

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Miracles will show up.

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This was another miracle.

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Bags packed is a miracle, you know?

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Them laughing in the car is a miracle.

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My wife's face on the Skype call is a miracle.

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It starts to add up where, you know, it becomes this like, it creates faith.

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You will be father?

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Yeah, in March.

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And what do you think the best gift a father could give a daughter is?

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Unwavering stability.

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The rock of Gibraltar.

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Unmovable.

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Unshakeable.

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I think of it this way.

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I think it's true for men and women.

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When a little kid goes to a park, and they've never been to a park before, and they see a bunch of little kids playing, and mommy and daddy are right here.

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They go out two or three steps and they get scared

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and they come back and they grab the hand and the hand is there

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And then they go out a little bit further

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and they take ten steps And then they get scared

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and they come back and they grab for the hand and the hand is there That's a parent.

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I'm always here.

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No matter what I'm always here.

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That's the gift of That I always wanted from my parents That I hope to give to my child is stability, is to be a rock an unmovable,

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unshakable, forever love an unjudgmental hand I'm always here.

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You come to find that most of these stories of saints in the faith were f*ed ups.

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Full -blown f*ed ups.

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They weren't perfect people who did perfect shit their whole lives and then wound up.

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They had to have experienced real negative shit in their life to be able to have this other thing,

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this salvation, this hero's journey.

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They're explaining saints to me.

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It's like the hero's path, you know, and I'm a writer.

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I'm in my head.

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You know, what is my hero's journey?

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I'm always asking myself, well, what?

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And I, this is sort of, and I always thought it was going to be through the craft

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that my hero's journey was kid from the bottom came to Hollywood with no training.

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And now, now I'm like, you know, working with these people and this, and I'm doing that.

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And that was my hero's journey.

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And it was so curt, it was so blunt and lazy.

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And it wasn't like this other thing that's available and

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so you get around these dudes and you hear about their path

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and how these guys got there

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and you start meeting dudes who like professional tennis players you

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know got lost on steroids you know drugged up got completely wayward

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and then decided to enter the order and

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so these are dudes who know something about competitive you know

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competitive sports they know about like ego in the way

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that i do the only people i've ever been able to

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feel like i'm close to in terms of the way that I deal with my craft is athletes.

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It's sports figures.

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And you find that a lot of sports figures are deeply insecure people.

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You know, you get respect based on what you can do and how hard you work.

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And sports is like that.

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And that's a shitty way to live.

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Because everything that comes to you is based on you and what you do.

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And if everything in your life surrounds you and is centered on you,

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you become a f*ing a vapid self -interested, selfish self -centered human being,

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how could you not, the world is happening in front of you the default setting already is

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that you're completely self -absorbed but then when you're involved in a meritocracy like working for commission basically, then it's all about your efforts,

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your efforts dictate how your life is gonna go, yeah and that really is my purpose in life now,

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is to like be able to express the reality of my life that you could be where I just was.

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Now I don't need to be anything.

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I don't need to be a certain this or a certain that to have permission to have friends

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or a wife or or anything like I I deserve it and that's a hard thing to

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To say that you deserve love when on paper.

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No, you don't so I was there for 90 days

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and in that 90 days I I made a list all these people

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that I hurt and and I mean a bunch happened

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but uh i came out

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and um just hit the ground running trying to make amends

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trying to right these wrongs this is also still a part of

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that there's some people who don't want to talk to me you know

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and uh and i understand that and so my purpose now is to be patient

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FOR YOU

Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

Этот урок разговорной практики уровня B2 построен на видео «This Is How You Start Over». В этом видео 269 предложений и 3132 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 15:41. Говорящий говорит быстро, около 200 слов в минуту, поэтому звуки часто сливаются и сокращаются. 85% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка; остальные стоит разобрать перед занятием.

Ключевая лексика этого видео

Самые сложные слова из видео (15), с произношением и значением:

Слово	Произношение	Значение
doom существительное	/duːm/	рок, судьба́
miracle существительное	/ˈmɪɹ.ə.kəl/	чу́до, ди́во
rehab существительное	/ˈɹiːhæb/	рехаб
fume глагол	/fjuːm/	оку́ривать, окури́ть
rationalize глагол	/ˈɹæʃənəlaɪz/	рационализи́ровать
vapid прилагательное	/ˈvæp.ɪd/	ску́чный
irrational прилагательное	/ɪˈɹæʃ.(ə.)nəl/	нерациона́льный, иррациона́льный
hustle глагол	/ˈhʌsəl/	спеши́ть, торопи́ться
accountability существительное	/əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ə.ti/	отчётность, подотчётность
cheat глагол	/ˈt͡ʃiːt/	моше́нничать, смоше́нничать
scare глагол	/skɛɚ/	пуга́ть, испуга́ть
flip глагол	/flɪp/	перевора́чивать, переверну́ть
adhesive прилагательное	/ədˈhiː.sɪv/	кле́йкий, ли́пкий
arsonist существительное	/ˈɑɹsənəst/	поджига́тель, поджига́тельница
cheerleading существительное		черли́динг, чирли́динг

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Слово	Произношение	Значение
show up глагол		объявля́ться, объяви́ться
come back глагол		возвраща́ться, возврати́ться
go out глагол		выходи́ть, вы́йти
come around глагол	/kʌ.məˈɹaʊnd/	переду́мать
come out глагол	/ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/	выходи́ть, вы́йти

Фразы, которые стоит повторять

Короткие законченные фразы из видео, которые пригодятся в повседневном разговоре:

I don't care what you think about me.
When you get a driver's license?
You know, I didn't really know what that meant.
You know, what is my hero's journey?
I'm always asking myself, well, what?

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	you've done · who've been · has changed
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	was let · had been therapized · had been estranged
Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете	people who did · people who don

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Говорящий использует 117 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например I'm, don't, you're. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.

Звуки «th»: therapize /ˈθɛɹəpaɪz/, empathize /ˈɛmpəˌθaɪz/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, athlete /ˈæθ.liːt/
Звуки «sh» и «zh»: rationalize /ˈɹæʃənəlaɪz/, irrational /ɪˈɹæʃ.(ə.)nəl/, salvation /sælˈveɪ.ʃn̩/, shallow /ˈʃæloʊ/, rational /ˈɹæʃ(ə)nəl/
Длинные слова — следите за ударением: rationalize /ˈɹæʃənəlaɪz/, irrational /ɪˈɹæʃ.(ə.)nəl/, accountability /əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ə.ti/, meritocracy /mɛɹəˈtɑkɹəsi/, unwavering /ˌənˈweɪvəɹɪŋ/

Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:

/w/ — губы округлены, это не /v/: unwavering /ˌənˈweɪvəɹɪŋ/, wayward /ˈweɪwə(ɹ)d/, warrior /ˈwɔɹi.ɚ/
/h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: rehab /ˈɹiːhæb/, hustle /ˈhʌsəl/, adhesive /ədˈhiː.sɪv/, alcoholic /ˌæl.kəˈhɔ.lɪk/
Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: rehab /ˈɹiːhæb/, rationalize /ˈɹæʃənəlaɪz/, therapize /ˈθɛɹəpaɪz/, vapid /ˈvæp.ɪd/, adhesive /ədˈhiː.sɪv/

Как заниматься с этим видео

Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
Начните со скорости 0,75×, повторяйте предложение за предложением и вернитесь к обычной скорости, когда станет легко.
Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как doom, miracle, rehab.

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

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