Практика Shadowing: WAYS TO SPEND MORE TIME ALONE & BECOME YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

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a new episode of a better you i'm your host fernando ramirez

Новый выпуск программы «Лучшая версия себя». Я ваш ведущий Фернандо Рамирес.

and welcome back i am so happy

и снова привет, я так рад

that you're here i'm very excited for today's episode

because last week we covered all things getting into the hot girl summer spirit

and how i know that the summer season is upon me is

when the social calendar starts filling up again

and everybody wants to hang out it's almost as if the winter depression is gone, people are getting out of their little cocoons,

I'm defrosting, and people just want to go for patio season, people want to hang, they want to go out, they want to go on a picnic, they want to go on vacation,

but whether you're struggling a little bit to make friends, or maybe you don't have enough friends, maybe you moved to a new city, to a new country, maybe you just moved out for the first time,

or maybe you just want to go in a healing era and kind of spend more time with yourself, learn about yourself and really sit with you and your soul.

I want to talk about spending time alone in this episode because like I said, although being social is great, you can have some burnout when you're too social

and I think it's important to be able to reel it back in

and spend time with yourself not only because it makes you feel rejuvenated but you can learn a lot about yourself, you can learn a lot about the things that you like to do, what you don't like to do.

It's also a great opportunity to get outside of your comfort zone

and really just be one with yourself and explore that if you haven't already spent a lot of time with yourself.

I also think it's a great time to gain some independence

and just kind of enjoy your own company and become your best self

and maybe if you are usually used to dating a bunch of people or maybe you got out of a relationship, maybe this is the time where you want to focus on yourself and date yourself.

I feel like I've heard that saying a lot

and I think it's so cute because before you can go and date someone else, I think it's really important to have a good relationship with yourself and

that goes for everything same with friendships I think it's really

important to be able to have yourself have your own back before you get into other friendships

or partnerships because if you know your own worth

and you spend time with yourself you're going to be

so confident and you won't be relying on validation

or anything from anyone because you know that you got your own back

so I'm excited for today's episode

because this past year I have spent a lot of time

on my own I spend a lot of time traveling

and I feel like I've gotten some tips

and some tricks to enjoying time alone romanticizing it even before we get on into today's episode make sure

that you are following this podcast on whatever streaming platform you

listen to make sure you are subscribed to the youtube channel

make sure you give the video a thumbs up make sure you give the podcast a rating

and make sure you give a follow to the at a better you by fernanda instagram

because i'm always doing polls on there i'm always taking in

to consideration your ideas your advice your critiques your tips And overall, I just want this platform and this community to be a very collaborative thing.

I just want it to be a place where I'm creating content

that you guys want to see and you guys are getting quality content from me

that I put a lot of effort into.

So yeah, before we get into today's episode, let me give you a little bit of a life update on myself.

Some of you guys may be like, Fernanda, I don't really care.

But I want to tell you because some big things are happening recently.

And the first thing is that I actually go to costa rica a week from today

Which is freaking crazy to even say i'm so excited

and actually before I continue on with me talking about this I need to know is it costa rica

or costa rica because for some reason I have been saying costa rica

And my friends were saying costa rica and now i'm just confused

when I was growing up My parents spoke spanish at home

and there was a lot of times where they said words differently

because of their accent And I fully grew up believing

that that's how you said the word And then I went to school

and I realized that i've just been saying it wrong the whole time Like for example salmon.

I used to always say salmon because in spanish it's salmon Anyways, you get the point.

I feel like that's the same thing with costa rica Although in spanish it would be costa rica.

So either way it's i'm not saying it correctly So anyways, I don't know where I got that from

but I am going to costa rica and I am so stoked I'm gonna be in a whole bunch of places.

So if any of you guys are actually from costa rica, I would highly Appreciate it if you guys sent me a dm

And maybe you can give me some tips or places to visit

and i'll tell you what places i'm going to be at and you can give me some Recommendations, but yeah, i'm gonna have to do some pre-filming of some episodes

And this whole week is basically going to be prep before I leave so far.

I've been doing some online shopping I booked a eyebrow lamination and tint.

I booked an eyelash tint and lift I'm gonna get my toes done my nails done.

I just booked a lymphatic drainage massage I have a laser hair removal appointment.

I'm getting a facial I'm really just doing the absolute most

but I feel like it's always just a good time to

do a little glow up Like before you go on a trip and you just leave feeling amazing.

So i'm so excited I'm gonna be going with two of my friends

and it's gonna be

so fun I haven't gone on a trip with them in

such a long time probably since I was literally in high school

So I think it's just gonna be a great opportunity to bond to get some girl time in

and yeah Other than that this past week has been a very social week for me

But I am going to be going into my hermit mode

because like I said I have so much to do before I leave

and I think it's time for some solitude

Which kind of leads us into today's episode the past few days

or the past few weeks I've been hanging out so much

and I even got kind of in the routine of it So when I had a free day, I was gonna go to a coffee shop and I was like should I text someone?

Should I ask someone

and then I was like fernanda you used to hang out

all the time by yourself You don't need to ask anyone just do it yourself.

You used to love hanging out by yourself And not to say that I don't still, it's just that I haven't had time to.

So anyways, I went by myself, I had a great time, and I always enjoy my own company.

So going off of that, I wanted to make today's episode on entering your solitude era or your solo era.

So let's jump into the episode.

Let me tell you a little bit about spending time alone and my experience with it.

When I was younger, especially in high school and when I lived at home with my family, I didn't really spend much time alone.

I mean, I would go to the coffee shops here and there, but really I was always around other people.

And it wasn't until I started traveling that I had to be alone

and it did make me feel a little bit sad at sometimes Like I think I would be traveling

and I'd get really homesick because I just didn't have somebody else to talk to I would feel super bored.

I just felt very lonely But through traveling on my own, I got a little bit more accustomed to it

and of course once I moved out of my family home

and I started living alone that was like my literal solitude era because now I live alone So that was crazy.

It did feel like I was just in a hotel though

So it didn't feel too bad

But I will say for the first like six months of

me living in this apartment I swear I basically only hung

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out with myself Like I would hang out with my friends every weekend

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and stuff But during the week it was solo time

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and goddamn did I get good at finding things to do Not being bored

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and enjoying my own company I think spending time alone is such a important thing to do

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because You really have no other option than to sit with your own thoughts

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and sometimes that can be painful because some things that you suppress

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or some things that you think you don't even think about can come up

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and then you just start overthinking

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and then you're just like what the heck why am I sad all of a sudden about something

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that I didn't think I was bothered by

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and it can be very hard to sit with your feelings

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but I do think that it's vital to go through

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because you end up on the other side with much more clarity

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and maturity and I feel like you just work through a lot of problems

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that you have on your own I also think

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that being alone really makes you have to figure out things

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to do Like unless you're gonna be on your phone for

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12 hours a day You're gonna have to find activities to do

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and one of the things that I love doing

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while I was alone I feel like I don't do it as much anymore

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But when I first started spending a lot of time alone It was like journaling either doing daily summaries

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or doing journal prompts from pinterest

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or whatever it was I did a lot of journaling

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because I I wanted someone to talk to and you know In

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that way you can kind of talk to yourself here And so when I am alone, I feel like it's a perfect time for self-reflection you can kind of really sit with your own thoughts

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and even think about the goals

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that you want to have think about the type of person you want to be think about

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if your actions are aligning with who you are trying to

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be just all of the above it's a really great time to think about where you are at

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and what you've been doing in the past I also think

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that when you're experiencing stuff on your own it's a lot more entertaining

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and you notice a lot of little things like for example

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when I'm going on a trip with my friends there may be

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so many little things that happen throughout the day

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that I completely miss because I'm with someone else and

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when I'm alone I'm noticing every single thing around me I'm

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really analyzing situations after they happen say I had an interaction with a stranger maybe after

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that I'm gonna think about it for a little bit longer

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and maybe what I said what they said

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and you really just reflect on a lot of situations I also think

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that it allows you to have a deeper understanding of your own feelings

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and you just kind of learn to like self-soothe

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which sounds kind of funny but like if you're feeling mad if you're feeling angry If you're feeling sad, you can kind of figure your way through the emotion

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when you're by yourself and just be like Why am I feeling like this?

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What made me feel like this?

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Why am I triggered

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and it's honestly a blessing in disguise to have to spend a lot of time alone

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because you will develop all those like skills

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and all those Important like stepping stones without even meaning to I also think

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that spending time alone Helps you a lot when you have decisions

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or you just don't know exactly what your path is I feel like

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when you're spending a lot of time with other people, you can be swayed by other people's opinions other people's thoughts other people's advice Whatever it may be. But

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when you're alone, you are like your truest form You know exactly what you

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want what you don't want You can think about your pros

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and cons if you have any bad situations You can really analyze the situation

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and you are not distracted You are not being swayed

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and you can fully just have your own opinion without being

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influenced by anyone else's Another reason why spending time alone is

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so important to me is because it gives me time to relax and recharge and get my creative juices flowing.

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Like, especially for the type of job that I have and if you're a creative person, I feel like it's really hard to be around people all the time

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and even have ideas Like I swear I need to be alone I need to think

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and honestly I think I get my best ideas

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when i'm driving in the car

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because all I have to do is think for like 40 minutes

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And I get my most creative ideas at that time

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because I have again nobody else's words coming in my ears Nobody else's opinions

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or anything and you can also spend time doing activities

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that you enjoy by yourself Like reading a book taking a

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bath maybe going in the sauna going to the gym like you can really just focus on yourself

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And I think going into the summer Obviously you want to spend time with other people

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and you want to have a party summer But from my experience

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and this has happened to me many times in the summers I would go out every single weekend

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and by the end of summer like

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when august hits I am a freaking wreck

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because i'm like girl slow down You did not even take a minute to breathe for yourself.

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You did not spend time with yourself You did not relax You do not figure out what you liked

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and what you don't like and I just feel so overwhelmed

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and drained by the end of it So I think the fact

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that i'm uploading this I think early june

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or late may this summer You can go into it Maybe having this podcast in mind

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and just reminding yourself to spend time alone Maybe to try new hobbies new activities

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and just really nail down what you as a person like

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to do without anyone else Another reason why I think spending time alone is super important

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and something that i've seen in myself Just develop is my independence

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and self reliance I think when I was younger I used to spend

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so much time with other people that I would just switch my brain off Honestly, like if we were going on a trip

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or we were taking the bus or we were booking ubers I would never ever be in charge.

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Honestly, I wouldn't I would just go along with the team do what they told me to do Honestly, my dad would hold my phone.

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He would hold my passport Even i'd go to parties

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and my boyfriend would hold my phone I honestly had like no responsibilities

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and ever since spending more time alone I realized that I need to look at my surroundings.

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I need to maybe check the time check the buses check

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the schedule Check where I want to go check what times

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things open at check what times things close at am I walking in the right area?

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Do I have the right directions?

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Etc I feel like I really have become a lot more self-reliant

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And I know that I can count on myself now

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because time after time It's proven to myself

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that I can do things alone and you kind of diminish a lot of fears Like for example, maybe before I used to be scared of driving alone far distances

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or I was scared of driving in the dark and now I know that I can do it.

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So I've overcome those fears and not only that but I've become a lot more confident.

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I know that I can handle being on my own.

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I know that I enjoy my own company.

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So anyone else that comes to disturb my peace is not welcomed because I know that first and foremost, I have myself.

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I have my own back and I like myself as a friend.

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So overall, I think spending time alone has helped me a lot with my sense of self.

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I think that I really know what qualities I have what my morals are

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and I feel like I spend a lot of time almost talking to myself

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and Say after a situation happens with I'm

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when I'm with other people I can go home spend time alone

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and reflect on that situation See how that aligns with my values see

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if I agree with what happened have

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that time to recoup regenerate make myself feel good again

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and just truly focus on myself with No distractions and nobody getting in the way of that Honestly,

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the times that I have spent alone have been the times where I've probably been my most fit, my most healthy, my most on the work grind.

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And I've just been super productive.

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I feel like sometimes when I steer a little bit too into the social bubble, I get distracted and I don't focus on what I have to do.

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And again, maybe if you're in a social era, you're in a little summer carefree time, then that's okay.

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But if you are self-employed or you have a job

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that goes all year round or you have a job

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that requires you to be on your toes

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and to take things into your own hands

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and maybe take care of your health or take care of your diet or whatever it may be.

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I feel like it's really important to know that you can rely on yourself and that you can spend time with yourself.

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I also think that spending time alone is something that you can become better at.

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Like when you first start doing it, you may feel kind of awkward or bored, but the more you do it, the more you start to enjoy it.

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Also another point that I feel like I've said before, but when you are spending time alone, you can truly have your own emotion and sit with it.

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Like a lot of times you may feel really excited about a situation

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and maybe you're in a group of people where the other people are bringing the mood down

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and they're like super unexcited

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and you kind of have to tone down your excitement to make them feel comfortable

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which you shouldn't have to do but sometimes that's the case whereas

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when you're by yourself you can feel that emotion

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that you're at a hundred percent or maybe you go to a restaurant

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and you are obsessed with the food

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and like the person you're with hates the food

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and then it kind of taints your image of it

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because you're just like okay well it's kind of hard to enjoy it

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when you're complaining over there so situations like that I feel like

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when you're by yourself you can enjoy the situation at whatever emotion you have 100%

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and no one else can bring your mood down, change the vibe, maybe change how you're feeling

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or make you feel like you shouldn't be as excited or as happy as you are.

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So anyways, I want to go into talking about a whole bunch of ways

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that I think that you can spend time alone this summer, starting by how you can spend time alone in your own house.

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We're going to kind of go through this in a list, but you guys can refer to this episode whenever you want, whenever you want ideas on what to do or you're bored.

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And I'm going to tell you guys some of my personal stories going through these ideas

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and tell you times that I've done these things and how I've made them really good.

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So the first one is to cook or to bake a Pinterest recipe while listening to music.

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You could be making the Gigi Hadid pasta with a glass of wine, maybe listening to Italian music, just romanticizing your life and feeling like you're in Italy.

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Or you could be making a cultural food and like listening to that kind of music in the background.

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Like maybe you're having a Mexico taco night and you're listening to Mexico fiesta music in the back.

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That would get you in a good mood you don't need anybody else to be there you will feel excited

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and all the food that you make is going to be just for you I mean

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if you're feeling generous you can give it to someone else

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but you'll have it for yourself

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and nobody can judge you for how the food turns out okay

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if it's good it's good you get to enjoy it and

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if it's bad well nobody can give you shit for that

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so there's that there's so many recipes online and especially

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if you're baking you can make it

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so cute the next one is to work out but the first option is to work out with really loud music.

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I love running.

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If you have like a treadmill at home or something, I love listening to super fast paced music that's like really loud and intense and it's almost like rap music.

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And I feel like you wouldn't expect that from me.

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Like maybe you'd think I'd be like some indie queen, but like I will throw on the Dawn Toliver, Travis Scott, Playboy Cardi, Trippie Red,

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like the most opposite music to me probably, but I will jam out to that.

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Or you could go the complete opposite way and I'm gonna take Trinity's idea.

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She's a friend of mine, but she always talks about doing candlelit Pilates and she'll dim all the lights, put some candles on, do some Pilates or yoga,

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some light stretches and like just really get into that winding down mood before you go to bed.

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You could even get some incense going.

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You can have a humidifier.

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You can have LED lights.

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You can have some spray scents or air mist.

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You can have some magnesium spray, like just really make it a moment.

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And that's the type of activity that you do not wanna have with other people.

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Like you wanna do that alone and you wanna enjoy that alone.

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And then you're gonna have the best sleep of your life.

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So I think that's a great idea.

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The next one is to watch a new show.

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Now, let me tell you guys I am currently watching selling sunset, which is kind of like like why am I watching that?

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You know, there's so many good shows on the internet

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and i'm choosing to watch a reality tv show Which is you know questionable, but honestly, I do like it.

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It's kind of funny It's entertaining and it's mindless

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Which is my favorite type of tv show to watch

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because i'll just throw it on

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and i'll start coloring i'll start Painting whatever it may be

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if you're good at crocheting or knitting I think that's a great activity as well.

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Just something where you can kind of multitask

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and like do a creative Task while having a show playing I also am obsessed with the kardashians, which is kind of ridiculous But as you can tell I really like shows

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that I don't have to put much effort in some of my other favorite shows for the record is Gossip girl.

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I love one tree hill euphoria is definitely my favorite show ever.

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I heard bridgerton's really good I heard new girl is really good.

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I love how I met your mother Honestly, I don't even know what shows i've watched at this point

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But there's so many shows that you can watch and there's

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so many great ones on netflix The next idea is to clean your home

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or to clean a room in your home

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But with super loud music I love playing music on my tv

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and just jamming out having a literal dance party

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And I asked you guys on instagram as well to give me some suggestions for what you guys do alone

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So that I would have some more ideas

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and almost all of you guys said

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that you like to dance on your own Which I absolutely love

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that because i'll literally do the same thing And so I think

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if you play really loud music

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and you just really get in the cleaning zone You could spend a whole day doing

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that by yourself having the time of your life, honestly and I think a Suggestion

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that you can do is maybe listen to a new album

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or listen to a new playlist

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That will kind of get you out of the routine of listening to your own music

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And maybe you could try out a new genre The next few ideas involve a lot of writing

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and the first one could be that you can journal like I said earlier I love journaling.

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I love going on pinterest and looking up different prompts Also, if you're feeling it you could definitely get the self-reflection pack from we're not really strangers

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If you're unfamiliar with what that is basically we're not really strangers is a brand

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that does a lot of question games And you can get a self-reflection pack

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and they'll give you a journal a pen

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And then you go through the cards asking yourself the different questions

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and just reflecting on them and writing them all out

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And you can spend so much time doing that you can even write a letter to your future self, which I think is so cute I've definitely done this in the past

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and it's so rewarding reading it like a year later

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because things change so quickly And it's

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so wholesome to see how you were feeling at a certain time in your life Another idea

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that I got from a lot of you guys is

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that you like to rearrange your room or rearrange decor in your house, which honestly, I haven't done in my new apartment.

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So I kind of feel like I should do that, but I don't even know what I would want to change at this point.

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Honestly, I'm kind of lazy and I haven't done it.

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But if you have the option to do that, I would say do it.

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It takes some time

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and it'll make you feel even better going into the next like a week

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or the next few days after that the other thing I think you should do

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that I specifically love doing and I feel like it's a very youtuber thing to do

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but it's a very big trend on YouTube to do a 24-hour glow-up challenge

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or just a glow-up in general and I feel like

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if you're not doing YouTube I mean maybe you're gonna go

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get your nails done maybe you'll get your toes done maybe you'll do a face mask

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but try doing every single possible beauty treatment you can in like 24 hours or in the next like two days.

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And first of all, it's so fun.

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It's a lot of things you gotta do, so you're gonna be very busy.

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And it's just fun to treat yourself and to make yourself feel good and to put effort into your appearance.

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So my favorite things

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that I love to do at home to have a little mini glow up is to paint my nails, to do my toes.

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I love to take the everything shower where I have shampoo, conditioner, hair mask.

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I exfoliate, I shave my legs.

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I will self tan after.

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I'll put baby oil and lotion on.

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I will do a face mask, a nose strip, A teeth whitening strip.

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I will have a bath.

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I will do a foot mask I'll do a hand mask like literally any of those things.

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It is so fun You're gonna feel amazing by the end of it The next thing

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that you can do is to make a physical mood board

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or a vision board I think a vision board is great to do.

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It's it takes a long time It gets all your creative juices flowing.

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It gets your visions on paper

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And I always do one at the beginning of the year But something

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that I recently talked about in one of my previous youtube

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videos is about making a mood board for the type of style You want to have

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and I think that that's super fun You can find all the pictures on pinterest

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and then print them all out glue them on a piece of paper

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or on a poster board or a canvas Another thing you can do

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when spending time alone This is like really easy one

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But I just want to throw it in there is to drink a lot of water Like

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if you're alone

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and you're bored go drink some water go drink some water as you're listening to this right now Another thing

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that I love to do alone is to play some music

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and sing really loudly My friend actually sent a video into our group chat the other day

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and she was like damn I forgot how good it felt to just sing

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and to belt out and to like play even literally karaoke

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And she was saying that she put on a musical

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and she was just like jamming out to the words

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and honestly It is so fun Especially if you're driving or

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if you want to go on a long drive I think listening to like music

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that you know all the words to

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and just singing at the top of your vocal cords I don't know what the word is.

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It's just so fun and it makes me feel really great Another thing

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that I love doing alone is online shopping

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and just filling up my cart with things

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that I want I also love to post content create content

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if you're alone This is the best time to do what you're good at do your job

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And if you've always wanted to start a youtube channel

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or to start doing tiktok or to start posting on instagram Seriously spend

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that time alone to really create content

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and to use your creativity You can even make lists on your phone of ideas You want to do

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or even research a topic

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that you're interested in about another thing you can do for yourself

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And this kind of goes for the dating yourself one but making yourself a nice little cocktail or a mocktail,

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I think it's such a cool skill to be able to know how to bartend or to make drinks on your own.

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So you can definitely spend time doing that.

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Another idea is to try breathing exercises, mirror work, affirmations, or meditation.

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I think those are all activities that you kind of need to be alone to do anyways.

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And if you are bored and you have that time, definitely try out one of those things.

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It will make you feel so much better, so much more relaxed.

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And if you are into all that spirituality stuff, It'll probably make you feel really at peace and centered

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and maybe if you're not even like spiritual

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But you're more religious I think praying just doing

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that on your own time while you're alone is the best time

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that you can do it At another one I want to

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throw in there is playing with your pets I feel like

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sometimes we can get used to our pets just being in the same proximity as us

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But if you are bored and you're spending time alone spend time with them

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and make them feel loved play with them Maybe throw some toys at them, you know, maybe don't throw them out them but with them Okay,

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and then the last one I want to talk about is manifesting.

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I'm definitely going to make an episode on how to manifest in the next upcoming ones.

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But if you have time alone, do some scripting or some visualizations.

402

Just get your goals in check and start manifesting.

403

Because that's something that I cannot do with anyone else.

404

And I need to dedicate time to it.

405

And when I was in the pandemic, that was like when I was at my manifesting peak.

406

And I'm sorry, but I think that I manifested my career.

407

So honestly, I know that it works.

408

You can research all about it.

409

You can look at tiktok videos about it, but definitely spend that time on your own You can even set up a manifestation journal

410

and just know that every time you write in that journal It is because you're going to be manifesting.

411

So that is something you can do now We talked

412

so much about doing all these things on your own

413

But now I want to talk about some of the things

414

that you can do outside of your home Because I think that's even better than being at home.

415

Honestly, I am not really a homebody I love going out and

416

if I don't have other people to do activities with you

417

best bet I will be doing them on my own because i'm not staying home.

418

I love going to the gym I love going to restaurants

419

to new cafes even just go shopping to go browsing window shopping Maybe get a dessert on your own.

420

I literally am always out on my own

421

and again I love going to the gym going on the treadmill

422

or walking to different places I feel like when you're on the treadmill

423

or something a great thing that you can do that

424

that feels productive

425

But you don't need to talk to anyone at the same time is to go on your phone

426

and go through all your emails Make a new playlist listen

427

to new music maybe respond to some comments respond to your text Just get everything

428

that you need to do done and you do not have to talk to anyone

429

and it feels productive So I love doing that.

430

I also am obsessed with getting like a starbucks

431

or a cute little drink Um side note my favorite starbucks drinks

432

because I feel like I always get asked This is an iced latte with oat milk

433

and two pumps of vanilla I also loved an iced vanilla

434

matcha latte with vanilla sweet cream cold foam on top

435

And I also love the pink drink

436

and I also love an iced chai with vanilla sweet cream cold foam

437

But I love getting a drink

438

and I love going to like a bookstore like chapters or

439

if you guys have a barnes and nobles

440

and just having your earphones in You can listen to a podcast you can listen to music

441

and just looking through all the books Looking through all the stationery

442

that is honestly one of my favorite hobbies

443

And I do not need anybody else to enjoy that you can also do the same thing and go thrifting, which is great I think thrifting is one of those things

444

that honestly i'm better at doing alone

445

and same with just shopping in general I kind of hate

446

when there's like someone else behind me that's like trailing behind me

447

or i'm trailing behind them I just prefer to do it on my own another one as I said earlier, I love going to new coffee shops There's literally

448

so many in cities and if you live in a city

449

and you're fortunate to have that accessibility Literally just search up on your phone

450

or search up on tiktok coffee shop recommendations And there's going to be so many

451

and you can kind of even make it a little bucket list to go visit All the ones

452

that you want to go to and I love doing my work at coffee shops If you have homework, that's a great place to do it.

453

It makes you feel so productive.

454

And honestly, I feel like sometimes I have like symptoms of ADHD or like ADD.

455

And I feel like being around other people just makes me feel so much more in the zone, so much more productive.

456

I do not get distracted.

457

And seeing other people work beside me almost motivates me to work.

458

And if you don't have work or homework to do, but you have a computer, I would say just go and you don't even need a computer.

459

You could do this with like a notebook, but you can make lists.

460

You can plan out your week ahead.

461

You can plan out your calendar.

462

You can even book beauty treatments.

463

You can do some research There's literally countless things

464

that you can do to entertain yourself and get a cute little drink

465

and a pastry Another one that I love to do is to trying new restaurants

466

And I actually love bringing my book and i'll just read

467

or put some earphones on

468

and just try this new food It's honestly not embarrassing at all to go alone

469

and nobody really cares if you are alone I feel like sometimes people can feel awkward about

470

that But if you know

471

that that's something that's a little bit of a challenge for you I would highly recommend making

472

that a little goal for yourself Sometime this week like just going out

473

and eating on your own my favorite food to eat by myself is probably Pho

474

or sushi But I also have definitely gone to fancier restaurants on my own

475

and it's slightly awkward But

476

if you're in the mood to fully commit to the date

477

yourself mentality I think it would be kind of iconic to

478

wear a really nice dress to really feel like you're going on a real date To take it seriously

479

and to go to a nice restaurant

480

and sit at the bar You can romanticize this

481

and feel like you're super mysterious and maybe order a drink Maybe order some food, maybe talk to the bartender.

482

Like honestly, it's not awkward and you can even tell them

483

that you're by yourself and you just wanted to go out on a little solo date.

484

And I'm sure everybody would just admire your confidence and no one would make you feel awkward about that.

485

They would say like damn, look at her go and it's kind of a little confidence boost for yourself.

486

And it also tests your limits of how comfortable you can even be by yourself.

487

You can even do your makeup super nicely and that's actually an activity on its own.

488

I've been loving recently just really taking the time to do my makeup to do it in the sunlight

489

and to Really go all out for my appearance You can also get all ready

490

and explore a new part of your city explore a new neighborhood and just walk around with confidence You know, you're gonna look so good You're gonna feel good walking around

491

and you're probably gonna be a showstopper You're probably gonna be attracting a lot of people on the streets

492

But make sure you do this in a not so revealing outfit or maybe in a not so

493

Nighttime area just in case.

494

I mean there can be creepy people on the streets

495

and sometimes too much attention In a public setting

496

when you're on your own is not the vibe But you know

497

if you're on your way to go somewhere and you're feeling yourself It's very much confidence boost.

498

Okay.

499

Another thing

500

that I love to do on my own is biking I

501

will bike all the way to the beach all the way to the park You can even bring some snacks

502

and have a little charcuterie board a little picnic moment Go to a viewpoint.

503

You can just people watch in general I feel like that's super fun activity to do

504

and you just notice so many more things when you're alone

505

because you're not distracted by someone else's presence So take advantage of

506

that and really observe other people The next idea is to go to a museum

507

if you are fortunate enough to have a really nice museum in your area I would highly recommend going to

508

that because art is one of those things that you do not need anyone else to appreciate And in fact, you probably will appreciate it even more

509

if you're by yourself You can wear a cute little outfit You can take some aesthetic photos

510

when you're there and you can just really vibe out with the art.

511

And sometimes they have those earphones where they kind of give you a backstory on the art.

512

And I feel like that's a great thing to listen to while you're alone anyway, so you won't have any distractions.

513

Another one is to go watch a movie on your own.

514

And my boyfriend recently did this and so did one of my friends and they both highly recommended the experience.

515

And honestly, I kind of want to do that.

516

Like, I think it'd be so fun to get some nice little sweatpants, a little hoodie, go get some popcorn and go watch a new movie.

517

I've really been wanting to watch the new Little Mermaid.

518

And honestly, I heard that the Super Mario Bros movie was gonna be really good.

519

So I actually kind of wanna watch that.

520

And I really, really, really wanna watch the new Barbie movie.

521

I don't even think it's out yet, but I think it comes out in the summer.

522

So I'm actually way off, but I cannot wait to watch that.

523

The next one is if you guys have a aquatic center, I don't know if that's the right word, or like a community center, or maybe you pay for Equinox or something.

524

Using the steams and the saunas are so satisfying

525

and honestly I did this the other day

526

and I had a blast doing it I went to equinox

527

and I kind of just spent like the entire day there I went to the gym then I took a shower.

528

I went into the steam room.

529

I brought my book.

530

I went into the sauna I took my time

531

and doing my makeup I did a hair mask like I literally did this all in the equinox gym bathroom

532

and I had a blast Let me tell you I really did I used all the amenities

533

and I felt so relaxed by the time I left

534

and the last idea that I have for you going out in the public

535

and spending time alone is to go on a walk in the forest

536

if you're fortunate to have that take advantage of it

537

because honestly i live in vancouver canada

538

and the pine trees here the air quality here it is

539

so freaking fresh and i don't take advantage of the fact

540

that i'm beside trees all the time

541

and i really just want to walk out in nature more

542

because goddamn could i use some pure oxygen really get in

543

touch with nature you know especially living in a city like i i need to touch some grass

544

and that is something

545

that like i want to do on my own like I

546

want to have a hippie moment where I'm just one with nature.

547

I'm not talking to anyone and I'm just like enjoying the outdoors.

548

Oh, one more sunbathing.

549

I love having a tanning moment.

550

If you have access to the beach or you have access to a backyard, spend some time going outside and having a full tanning moment, a full tanning date.

551

You can get some tanning lotion, some sunscreen, some snacks.

552

Maybe you cut up a fruit.

553

Maybe you make yourself a little cold drink.

554

You go out and listen to some music

555

and you just enjoy the sun You feel the sun on your body

556

and you're gonna get a hell of a tan

557

and especially going into summer You are going to look better

558

than everybody else I'm telling you having a tan makes you feel

559

so confident and if you can get one naturally

560

while being protective of yourself

561

That is gonna make you feel really good Now those were all my ideas about spending time alone

562

And I lastly just wanted to talk about being your own best friend

563

because after you do all these activities I hope

564

that you're gonna enjoy your company and

565

that you're really gonna like spending time alone It's kind of satisfying to know

566

that you don't need anybody else to fill your cup and to make yourself feel good I mean, obviously it's important to enjoy other people as well

567

But I think it's just a good balance and

568

if you're able to do both then you have the best of both worlds I also want to say

569

that with being your own best friend.

570

I want you guys to remember to celebrate yourself I feel like a lot of times we think

571

that celebrations come with other people with other groups and that's

572

so not true If you have something

573

that you're proud of yourself for like maybe you just did something

574

that you had never done before or maybe your birthday's coming up

575

or maybe you got a really good grade or maybe you got a promotion.

576

Whatever it is.

577

Don't wait around for other people to celebrate you because at the end of the day you only have yourself.

578

And I actually wanted to say that's something that I've learned this past year.

579

And I think that that's a it's it's bittersweet to know

580

that throughout your entire life you're really going to have yourself at the end of the day.

581

Yes, you'll have friends but friends could come and go.

582

And obviously i'm a big advocate for long lasting friends

583

and I think most of my relationships are long lasting But as I go through my 20s, i'm really realizing how friendships can be a lot less stable

584

And it just depends what type of stage you're going on through life Like maybe there's some friends

585

that I met when I first moved to vancouver

586

and maybe one day i'm going to move to new york

587

And i'll drift away from those friends and i'm going to make new friends

588

and you know I think just throughout life there's going to be

589

so many times where people come and go and at the end of the day

590

You have yourself and if you have a rocky relationship with yourself

591

or you don't know how to spend time alone It's going to be a very lonely life

592

and it's going to be tough to get yourself out of low points or to Celebrate your high points.

593

So I think it's so important to develop this relationship with yourself When I hit 500k subscribers on my youtube,

594

I remember I walked to a little bakery I bought myself a little cake I went to the park

595

and I just thought about my experience Leading up to

596

that 500k and I just felt so happy and

597

so proud of myself I had my little cake and it wasn't like a sad moment.

598

I wasn't like I wish there was people here I was just

599

so content on my own and I think that's what we all need

600

So that was just a little reminder for you guys

601

If you have something to celebrate Don't feel pressured to celebrate with other people

602

and enjoy that time that you have with yourself The other thing I want to say is

603

that I see this all the time

604

and sometimes i'll post videos with my friends Or i'll give ideas

605

and i'll say like oh this is so fun to do with other people

606

or i'll see tiktok trends go on

607

and the comment section is full of people going well this would be fun

608

but if only I had friends oh well this would be fun

609

but I don't have anyone to do it with again you

610

do not need other people to do these things with you can do them all alone

611

and it's not embarrassing it's not weird it's not awkward even the people

612

that you think have the most amount of friends spend time alone

613

and maybe the difference is that they are comfortable with spending time alone and again

614

if you need validation from someone I'm here to tell you you do not need anyone you can go out

615

and live these super cool experiences on your own and in fact

616

if you are always waiting for someone else to pull you out of your little cave

617

and to say come on let's do this really fun thing

618

or come on let's do this together you are never gonna

619

get anywhere okay you need to do those things on your own

620

and not waste your days because I saw a quote

621

that said the way that you spend your days is the way

622

that you spend your life so if every day you are sad about being alone

623

or you are miserable wanting people to ask you to hang out

624

or wanting people to do stuff with you are going to live a very lonely

625

and unfulfilled life so the sooner

626

that you are able to spend time alone enjoy time alone work on your self-awareness your intrapersonal skills

627

which i think is like how you can analyze your feelings

628

or how you can articulate your thoughts the other thing i

629

wanted to say about treating yourself like a best friend is to practice self-compassion

630

and i think i've talked about this idea in a lot of other episodes

631

but I think it's really important to treat yourself with kindness

632

and compassion because again when you are alone

633

and you are in your head sometimes it can be really easy to tear yourself apart

634

or to criticize yourself but you have to remember to treat yourself like a friend

635

and realistically you wouldn't hopefully bring down your friend or criticize them

636

or tell them they look bad you would hype them up

637

and if they did feel insecure

638

or they did feel bad about themselves you would definitely just

639

be like girl don't worry about it like this is what

640

I would do here's my advice like you look great you're

641

amazing like you can do it I'm proud of you

642

so I think it's important to treat yourself like that as well

643

and just have nurturing self-talk positive self-talk

644

and just work on treating yourself as best as you can

645

the last thing I want to say about spending time alone is

646

that through me doing this I feel like I've gotten

647

so much more in tune with my intuition and I feel really centered

648

and grounded when I spend time alone

649

because I know exactly what I want exactly what I don't want

650

and when I spend time with other people after

651

that I can tell when something inside of me is giving me a warning sign

652

that like this isn't right for you

653

or this is right for you this makes you feel better this makes you laugh you you leave feeling content

654

or this feels horrible I feel like I'm in fight

655

or flight I feel bad about myself I feel negative I

656

feel dragged down etc spending time alone really gets you in

657

touch with your goals what your true passion is what your true purpose is

658

and it lets you also practice self-validation so you can validate your own feelings

659

or validate your own worth or affirm your own values

660

and yeah I overall just think that it's such a useful skill

661

and I probably wouldn't be where I am if I hadn't spent

662

so much time alone I think it really shaped me into who I am this past year

663

and I honestly think that I've matured so much like I feel like I'm

664

so much more aware and I when I think of myself

665

when I lived at home honestly I'm like what was I

666

even doing I feel like my brain was just a little mush

667

and ever since I've spent more time alone I just feel

668

so much more in tune with who I'm trying to be

669

so anyways that's the end of today's episode I feel like I've been rambling for

670

so long now but I hope you got some ideas

671

and some inspiration for ways that you can spend alone

672

and maybe even some incentive to spend time alone

673

or maybe this was just the little push that you needed to have

674

that solo date and to date yourself I want you guys to truly remember

675

that you don't need anyone else and

676

if people around you are bringing you down or making you feel bad

677

and you are scared to almost cut them off

678

because you don't want to spend time alone just know

679

that it's possible and that you can and that even

680

if you are in toxic toxic friendships

681

or toxic relationships it's actually more worth to cut those off

682

and to work on that relationship with yourself

683

because once you do you won't need those other people

684

and you won't have to hold on to those toxic friendships

685

or toxic relationships and you'll be able to experience life

686

so much more to its fullest extent

687

when you can be with yourself be with your own thoughts

688

and enjoy your own company I hope you enjoyed today's episode

689

if you did make sure to give me some feedback on any platform possible

690

and yeah i love you guys give me some recommendations for what you want to see on the upcoming episodes

691

and i love you so much i really challenge you this week to practice spending time alone

692

and to take yourself on a date do the most be the most okay you only have one life

693

so be extra

694

if you want to you got it i believe in you i'm your internet best friend

695

and i will talk to you

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FOR YOU

Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

Этот урок разговорной практики уровня B1 построен на видео «WAYS TO SPEND MORE TIME ALONE & BECOME YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND». В этом видео 695 предложений и 9337 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 38:32. Говорящий говорит быстро, около 242 слов в минуту, поэтому звуки часто сливаются и сокращаются. 85% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка; остальные стоит разобрать перед занятием.

Ключевая лексика этого видео

Самые сложные слова из видео (15), с произношением и значением:

Слово	Произношение	Значение
bore глагол	/boɹ/	надоеда́ть, надое́сть
awkward прилагательное	/ˈɔk.wɚd/	нело́вкий, неуклю́жий
mask существительное	/mæsk/	ма́ска, личи́на
productive прилагательное	/pɹəˈdʌk.tɪv/	продукти́вный, производи́тельный
toxic прилагательное	/ˈtɒk.sɪk/	токси́чный, ядови́тый
manifest существительное	/ˈmæn.ɪ.fɛst/	манифе́ст, деклара́ция
distract глагол	/dɪˈstɹækt/	отвлека́ть, отвле́чь
vanilla существительное	/vəˈnɪl.ə/	вани́ль
glow глагол	/ɡloʊ/	свети́ться, рдеть
tan глагол	/tæn/	загора́ть, загоре́ть
toe существительное	/təʊ/	па́лец, па́лец ноги́
podcast существительное	/ˈpɑdˌkæst/	подка́ст
emotion существительное	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	эмо́ция, чу́вство
nail существительное	/neɪl/	но́готь
relax глагол	/ɹɪˈlæks/	расслабля́ть, рассла́бить

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Слово	Значение
go out глагол	выходи́ть, вы́йти
come up глагол	поднима́ться, подня́ться
figure out глагол	разбира́ться, разобра́ться
fill up глагол	заполня́ть, запо́лнить
grow up глагол	расти́, выраста́ть
plan out глагол	распланиро́вывать, расплани́ровать
try out глагол	про́бовать, попро́бовать
cut up глагол	разрезать

Фразы, которые стоит повторять

Короткие законченные фразы из видео, которые пригодятся в повседневном разговоре:

What made me feel like this?
Do I have the right directions?
I'll put baby oil and lotion on.

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Present Perfect Continuous have/has been + -ing — действие началось раньше и продолжается	have been saying · i've just been saying · I've been doing
«Used to» used to + глагол — прошлая привычка или состояние, которых больше нет	used to always say · used to hang · used to love
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	haven't already spent · I've heard · have spent
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	are subscribed · was bothered · can be swayed

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Говорящий использует 279 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например you're, I'm, don't. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.

Звуки «th»: thrift /ˈθɹɪft/, breathe /bɹiːð/
Звуки «sh» и «zh»: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, recommendation /ˌɹɛkəmɛnˈdeɪʃən/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, lotion /ˈloʊʃən/
Длинные слова — следите за ударением: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, recommendation /ˌɹɛkəmɛnˈdeɪʃən/, romanticize /roʊˈmæntɪsaɪz/, mysterious /mɪˈstɪɹi.əs/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/

Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:

/w/ — губы округлены, это не /v/: anyways /ˈɛn.iˌweɪz/, awkward /ˈɔk.wɚd/, equinox /ˈɛkwəˌnɑks/, sway /ˈsweɪ̯/, homework /ˈhoʊmˌwɝk/
/h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: hobby /ˈhɑ.bi/, homework /ˈhoʊmˌwɝk/, heal /ˈhiːl/
Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: anyways /ˈɛn.iˌweɪz/, awkward /ˈɔk.wɚd/, productive /pɹəˈdʌk.tɪv/, solitude /ˈsɑlɪˌtud/, vibe /vaɪb/

Как заниматься с этим видео

Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
Начните со скорости 0,75×, повторяйте предложение за предложением и вернитесь к обычной скорости, когда станет легко.
Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как bore, awkward, mask.

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

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Что такое техника Shadowing?