ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Jimmy O. Yang Destroys Asian Stereotypes...

Ever since I was five years old,

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258 ประโยค

หากประโยคสั้นหรือยาวเกินไป กดที่ Edit เพื่อปรับแก้

Ever since I was five years old,

my mom had me believe that anything I do would make me sick.

You go outside without a jacket, you get the flu.

You go to bed with the fan on, pneumonia!

God forbid you fall asleep with wet hair.

You don't wanna wake up.

That's it.

You're dead.

That's it.

You're dead.

That's fear-mongering, man.

I'm not scared of anything anymore.

I don't think I have any fear anymore.

I used to watch that show Fear Factor.

You guys remember that show?

Joe Rogan hosted Fear Factor to make you face your fears,

like jump off a helicopter,

eat crazy shit, like pig intestines and sentry egg.

I ate that shit for breakfast.

This is nothing to me.

Fear is not a factor.

when I was like 10 years old,

little boy, I was very scared because there was one kid,

pretty sad story, in my class he had childhood leukemia and then he lost all his hair to chemo and everything,

looking real frail and I was really scared,

I was like, oh my god,

is he gonna be okay?

And my mom, she's a great mother,

she saw how scared I was,

so she came up to console me,

she was like, Jimmy, Jimmy,

you see, this is what happens when you play too much video games.

That's fear-mongering, okay?

I never played a game of FIFA after that.

My mom was like the original fake news.

I don't like going outside anymore.

Too many crazy people, too many weirdos.

One time I went to this dive bar in a military town, San Diego.

Big military town.

I love my military okay but I think sometimes yeah yeah

but I think sometimes military people get a little too passionate

you know thank you thank you exactly my point right there thank you I love military

but they're just too passionate like I was at a dive

bar this one military brother came up to me who's just

like hey man I want to buy you a drink I'm

like no no thank you I can I I can buy my own drink, thank you.

And he's like, no, I wanna buy your drink.

So at this point, I thought either he wanted to take a selfie or he wanted to fuck me.

So I'm like, no sir,

I think I can buy my own drink.

And then he started telling me his whole life story.

He's like, you don't understand.

I wanna buy you a drink because I was stationed in Okinawa for four years

and you guys have been nothing but nice to me.

I'm like, you guys, you guys,

Okinawa's in Japan, I'm Chinese, sir.

And he's like, it doesn't matter,

man, it doesn't even matter.

I'm like, sir, I think it does matter, all right?

I'm pretty sure the only reason you were stationed in Japan was to keep an eye out on Chinese people like me.

It does matter.

He was like, it doesn't even matter, man.

I still love Pad Thai, okay?

Maybe that guy run into BTS on his next tour. Who knows?

My point of saying all of this is Asian people,

we don't all look alike.

We don't all sound alike.

You know, we don't even do anything alike.

We're just people, you know?

Right?

Like, everybody's different.

Thank you, white lady.

Thank you.

Thank you, one white lady.

I appreciate it.

Thank you.

She teaches magnet school down the street,

a lot of Asian students.

So tonight, I wanna offer you guys an advanced lesson on how to tell Asian people apart, okay?

Yeah, that's right.

I'm so good at telling Asian people apart,

I don't even need to look at you.

I can tell you what kind of Asian somebody is by the sound they make when they're disappointed.

Because disappointment is our strongest emotion.

Whenever we get disappointed, our ancestor just comes out,

and you can't hide that, you know?

Like for example, I'm Chinese,

I know Chinese people very well, okay?

When Chinese people get disappointed, we're just disgusted.

We don't even wanna look at you.

When you disappoint a Chinese person,

they're just like, oh shoo, shoo.

Shoo.

Like they just walked into a smoky room and they gotta clear it, just like...

Shhh!

See, that's Chinese people.

Japanese people, when Japanese people get disappointed,

they just want to know why.

They ask you a question.

100

When a Japanese person gets disappointed, they just like...

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Eh?

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Eh? And that's it.

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You ain't gonna disappoint a Korean person, I wouldn't recommend that.

104

This Korean brother might fuck you up, okay?

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Korean people are intense, they're ready to fight.

106

But they're my favorite type of people because they're very emotionally honest.

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A Korean person will let you know when they're disappointed.

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They're real guttural with it,

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you know what I mean?

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When you disappoint a Korean person, they're like, ooh!

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Shiba!

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But they're still very Asian,

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so they're still real polite.

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They'll thank you with that.

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And they're like, My girl asked me,

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she was like, babe, what's your love language?

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I'm like, what?

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She's like, you know, your love language,

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like, how do you convey love to your partners and loved ones?

120

Like, for example, a love language could be words of affirmation.

121

Words of affirmation?

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I was raised by Asian parents.

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I've never heard one word of affirmation in my life.

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Nobody ever told me, Jimmy,

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you're so great, you can do it.

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They're like, don't fuck it up.

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Their love language is verbal abuse.

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I'm trying to figure out my love languages.

129

Physical touch, right?

130

It's another love language.

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Nobody touch me until I was 22.

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I'm not familiar with that.

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What are some other love languages?

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I like every woman just screaming out at their front, Act of service?

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Gift giving!

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I think gift giving is a good one, okay?

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I love giving gifts to my girl.

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She loves giving gifts to me.

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We love that, right?

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Like, for example, I love buying my girl shoes.

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She loves shoes, and we wear the same shoe size.

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The perfect gift for the whole family,

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you know what I mean?

144

These are her shoes tonight, you know?

145

It's me perfect.

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That's right.

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And in return, I let her wear all of my Jordans.

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Yeah, guys, you guys know that's love.

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Because Jordans to guys, that's our most prized possession.

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If we let you slip into our Jordans,

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that's like you letting us slip into you.

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You know?

153

Same thing.

154

But sometimes, sometimes I get a little nervous because her feet's a little dirty.

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Okay, and she's a white girl,

156

so her feet extra dirty like you know

157

White people I don't know what the fuck you guys do your feet all day

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You guys just barefoot all time frolicking around like Jenny from Forrest Gump,

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you know White people you guys got some strong-ass feet man just 120 degrees outside hot cement just like Pssst.

160

Y'all got some hunter-gatherer feet.

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See, every culture, we got different feet etiquette, all right?

162

White people want to get in touch with Mother Earth.

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That's great.

164

Black people, on the other hand,

165

I lived with a black roommate for six years.

166

Never saw his toes once.

167

He came out the shower with socks on, man.

168

I'm like, what the...

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You got a sock drawn there, brother?

170

Asian people, you guys know the rule.

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When you come into the house,

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you take your shoes off, right?

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You're like, we all know that.

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Yeah, yeah.

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But our feet actually never touch the floor.

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Because when you take your shoes off at the house,

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we got two pair of house shoes ready for you.

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And then when you walk outside,

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we got two pair of Crocs ready for you.

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And then when you come back in the bedroom,

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we got two other pair of slippers that we stole from a hotel in Vegas.

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We're ready.

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Our feet never touch the floor,

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we got baby soft feet.

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I think Asian people, our most natural love language is acts of service, right?

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That's what our parents did to us.

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They might never say I love you,

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but they did a lot of nice things for us.

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Every night, I don't care how busy my parents were,

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they'll come home and make a five course meal.

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That's love right there, right?

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You gotta give it up for them.

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You gotta give it up.

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See, we live in a very frivolous society, man.

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Everybody loves to brag about how much shit they have,

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how much money they make.

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We all brag, we all guilty of this.

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We all just do it in subtle different ways.

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Like white people, for example.

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White people never brag about how much money they got.

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They always just brag about how expensive their life is.

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Like, oh, Joey just started private school.

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It's so expensive.

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And our remodel is totally going over budget.

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Oh, and you wouldn't believe how much money we spent going to Fiji.

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I'm like, okay, Katie, I see your life, okay?

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It's a luxury, it's good for you, okay.

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Black people on the other hand, a lot more straightforward.

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Black people just tell you exactly how much money they spent on something.

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It's great.

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You guys seen it?

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Like my black friends or even like rappers, right?

213

They love to brag.

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They're like, this car, 80,000.

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My mama's house, 500,000.

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This chain, a million dollars, man.

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I'm like, okay, you clearly don't have your priorities straight.

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But I appreciate the honesty.

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People love to brag about how much money they spend.

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Asian people on the other hand,

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we do the exact opposite.

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We love to brag about how little money we spent on some shit.

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Because the art is in the savings.

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You never pay full price.

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Like my mom, her catchphrase is, guess how much?

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Guess how much?

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Yeah, that's all people.

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You guys ever play Guess How Much?

229

My mom would come home with something new,

230

like a watch, she'll be like,

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Jimmy, Jimmy, guess how much?

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Guess how much?

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I'm like, Mom, I don't know,

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it's a very nice watch, like $5,000.

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And she was like, no. It's $200.

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Jimmy, my house?

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My house.

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This house?

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Guess how much?

240

Guess how much?

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I'm like, Mom, I don't know,

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you live in a very nice house, like a million dollars?

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She was like, no. It's half off, someone died in it.

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And if you know the rules of the game, you always guess high.

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So you make the other person feel good about their purchases.

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Never guess too low.

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If you ever guess too low,

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that's the ultimate insult to an Asian person, okay?

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One time my mom came home with some new shoes.

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I guess too low.

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I've never seen her so disappointed in me.

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She was like, Jimmy, Jimmy, guess how much?

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Guess how much?

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I'm like, Mom, I don't know, very nice shoes, like $200.

255

She was like, oh, yo.

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Do you even know about shoes?

257

These are $500 Jimmy shoes, okay?

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Better Jimmy than you.

TRENDING

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