ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Why Love Is Harder in a Second Language | Magdalena Hoeller | TED

Reviewer Gopjevich Reviewer On a cold but sunny autumn afternoon,

⏸ หยุดชั่วคราว

ความเร็ว:

245 ประโยค

หากประโยคสั้นหรือยาวเกินไป กดที่ Edit เพื่อปรับแก้

Reviewer Gopjevich Reviewer On a cold but sunny autumn afternoon,

I was riding on the back of my husband's motorcycle,

just cruising along one of our favorite routes around Newcastle.

It was a pretty fresh day,

so we were all rugged up in our protective gear.

At a set of red lights,

my husband lifted his visor,

and he said to me,

Hey, come feel my handles.

So naturally, I reached for his hips and gave them a playful squeeze and said,

these handles are perfect baby.

What he, of course, meant was his heated motorcycle handles,

not his love handles.

Yeah, a classic and genuine misunderstanding.

And luckily, we both have good humor.

Otherwise, this could have ended in an argument.

But interactions like these happen every day in intercultural relationships.

This is not unique to us, of course.

In fact, one third of Australian marriages are intercultural these days,

according to the ABS, which means we've never been more intimately connected across the globe than we are right now.

What I didn't tell you so far is that I'm from Austria,

so my first language is Austrian-German,

and my husband is from Australia, so he speaks English.

So these kinds of conversations,

misunderstandings, long explanations of jokes and words shape our relationship.

By a show of hands,

who in here knows at least one intercultural couple?

Maybe it's even you.

Yeah, exactly.

Now, in my research with intercultural couples,

I found many beautiful aspects of having two different languages amongst partners,

but also quite a few challenges that monolingual couples don't necessarily have to face.

Let me ask you this.

If you cannot flawlessly communicate with the person you want to be closest to in this world,

how does that affect your relationship?

This is what I'm going to answer for you today.

I speak six languages and I focus my studies in linguistics

and I worked with intercultural couples to uncover their language behavior and their dynamic.

So let me take you on a journey today through the science behind all of these love handles stories out there.

I'm going to let you in on three specific challenges that intercultural partners have to face on a daily basis,

but sometimes don't even know that they're facing them them.

Some of these are very, very hidden.

Now, I'm focusing mostly on romantic relationships here,

but you can apply this equally to intercultural friends or even workplace encounters.

Oddly, these domains sometimes overlap.

The first challenge I'd like to share with you today is how different languages carry different emotional weights for people.

What does that mean?

It basically means that when I say I love you in English,

it doesn't feel the same as saying ich liebe dich for me as a German speaker.

That's because language isn't just a tool for communication.

It shapes our emotional experience and our first language usually evokes the strongest one.

That's why a declaration of love,

which is such an emotionally charged statement,

usually holds more weight for someone in their first language than in any language learned later in life.

Now, I grew up with the words,

ich liebe dich, from my parents,

so over the years of my life,

these have gained an emotional weight beyond what any other language can achieve for me.

So what does that mean for intercultural partners now?

Imagine a Japanese-French couple, and they speak English together.

Are they unable to communicate the true strength of their feelings because of this language distance?

Now, my husband and I,

we mostly speak English together.

Does that mean when I say,

I love you in English,

it means less because I'm emotionally detached from it.

We can observe this also with other emotions.

For example, something that comes up in relationships, anger, frustration.

Now, with anger, it's very often a totally different experience in English.

It's very often the impact that matters more instead of the words.

It's the classic, honey, it's not what you said,

it's how you said it.

Sound familiar?

Yeah.

Let me give you an example.

Early on in my relationship,

during an argument, I dropped a certain C word.

I'm not going to say what it is, you all know.

Now, at that time in my relationship,

I had no grasp how offensive that word is in English.

To me, it was just four letters string together,

just something I heard around the street here in Australia.

I had no emotional connection to it.

But my husband, he was shocked, and rightly so.

I've never used it since in any context.

But that's the thing.

When intercultural partners fight, we have to think of many things here.

Is the word choice right?

Mine clearly wasn't.

How does that word land on the other person?

So what's the impact?

Mine was clearly horrible and misdirected.

And thirdly, what is the delivery of it all?

So what's the intonation?

Is it too strong, too weak?

And that's where intercultural partners,

they bring their language background,

they bring their cultural background to one table and have to negotiate this in a heated moment at the same time.

There's too much happening.

100

Now, fighting is already difficult with monolingual partners,

101

but adding all of these elements,

102

that requires a lot of communication.

103

But let's be honest, who actually sits down to determine the terms of a fight before a fight?

104

Right?

105

Doesn't happen.

106

The second challenge I'd like to share with you today is humor.

107

Making each other laugh is a big part of relationships,

108

but humor often doesn't translate very well.

109

Sometimes a joke is funny in one language,

110

but it falls flat in another,

111

or it could be quite offensive.

112

Now, linguistically, we can break this down into two parts,

113

into receiving humor and producing humor.

114

From a receiving side, a partner might feel unsure unsure

115

if they grasp the true meaning of a joke or just a superficial facet thereof.

116

That could be a purely linguistic issue,

117

like not picking up on sarcasm or not recognizing a pun because the language skills just aren't there yet.

118

There's also the cultural aspect, of course.

119

Partners with different language backgrounds naturally grew up in different in-groups of of a joke.

120

So the people that understand a joke and the people that don't.

121

I never understood why the Aussie phrase,

122

shrimp on a Barbie, isn't actually funny to Australians,

123

it actually quite annoys them.

124

My husband doesn't understand why the super cringy,

125

nostalgic, 90s TV show Liebesgeschichten und Heiratsachen is so hilarious to me.

126

Different in-groups.

127

That means that intercultural partners have limited common ground to work with here.

128

And if one partner doesn't understand the joke,

129

the other is stuck trying to explain it to them.

130

And that conversation is never funny.

131

From a producing side, we all know that producing humor in a second language is an incredibly difficult skill to master.

132

There are so many elements to get right.

133

The subtext of a joke,

134

the punchline, the context, the delivery,

135

all while making sure that it's appropriate and, well, funny.

136

Right?

137

Now, in my research with intercultural couples,

138

they all confirmed that they feel less funny when joking in a second language with their partners.

139

Can you imagine what that does to your self-esteem and to your couple dynamic?

140

In one particular interview, one of the male participants said about his wife,

141

I don't think she's ever made me laugh in English.

142

She's a German speaker.

143

Now, these sentiments aren't uncommon.

144

Even I can attest to that.

145

I always felt that I was effortlessly hilarious in Austrian-German,

146

but I couldn't bring that same energy to English,

147

and I was so disheartened that my husband would never know the true comedic genius his wife actually is.

148

Such a tragedy.

149

But that's the problem here.

150

Humor, or the lack thereof,

151

can create distance between partners.

152

It can stop us from truly knowing each other.

153

I've left the last challenge for you,

154

which I find the most interesting one,

155

and it is also the most hidden one.

156

It is something couples deal with,

157

and it is so subtle,

158

they very often don't even notice.

159

And it is the hidden power dynamics between intercultural partners.

160

From a pure language perspective,

161

and we're only talking language here,

162

there is always a partner who is linguistically superior and someone who is inferior.

163

You might think now, well,

164

it's the one who speaks the language better, right?

165

That can be one aspect,

166

but it's not quite that simple.

167

There are many more layers and facets to it.

168

You are correct, though.

169

One aspect is language proficiency.

170

Now, even though my English skills are really good and high,

171

my husband is a native speaker.

172

He will always be more proficient in English than I am.

173

And that puts him at an advantage in a lot of situations.

174

He's the one who manages all of our contracts.

175

He's the one who explains vocabulary to me during movies when I don't understand.

176

All of this isn't a big deal,

177

of course, but in some ways it flows into the dynamic of our relationship because I am linguistically dependent on him.

178

And that is something we never notice on a daily basis.

179

It's extremely apparent though when we have an argument.

180

We're having all these heated discussions in English,

181

my second language, his first language.

182

After a day of processing life and work and emotions and conversations in English,

183

it takes me double the energy to find the right words in these heated moments.

184

His responses are immediate, but I would very often just like to say,

185

thank you for your response,

186

I will get back to you in three to five business days.

187

So you see, the partner with the higher language proficiency does have the upper hand here.

188

But like I said, there's other factors too.

189

There's also the global status of the language in use amongst partners.

190

Now, global player languages like English,

191

Spanish, Mandarin, they're viewed as superior in comparison to lesser spoken languages,

192

so couples naturally gravitate towards them.

193

Again, English versus Austrian-German, I'm not winning so far.

194

The dominant global status of English will always take preference,

195

and that flows into the dynamic of our relationship because we're not speaking my language as much as I'd like to.

196

But one factor we cannot forget is the linguistic environment where a couple chooses to live,

197

or the country.

198

Now, in Australia, a native speaker like my husband is in his linguistic comfort zone.

199

But if you remove that safe environment,

200

the power dynamics can very much change.

201

As soon as we travel to Austria,

202

suddenly I'm the one ordering food at restaurants,

203

I'm the one translating at family events.

204

The roles reverse.

205

So the power dynamics are not just defined by the couple itself,

206

but also by their surroundings.

207

I've presented you with a range of hidden language challenges now that intercultural partners face on a daily basis,

208

and I think it's pretty apparent.

209

Dealing with two different languages here is tricky.

210

You might be asking yourself right now, So, what's the solution?

211

What can we do?

212

The bad news is that these things never really go away,

213

no matter how long your relationship lasts.

214

My husband and I, we've been together for nine years now,

215

and we still struggle with most of these things.

216

The good news is that I can give you two very simple recommendations today.

217

The first one is awareness.

218

Be aware that your emotions can be guided by your language,

219

love, anger, and everything in between.

220

Be aware that your humor is rooted in your cultural background,

221

and it sometimes doesn't translate in another language.

222

And be aware that your language skills and your surroundings can raise or lower your linguistic power over your partner.

223

Because if you're conscious that these things are happening for you behind the scenes,

224

you'll realize that these things are also happening for your partner.

225

And only then you can work on my second recommendation together,

226

and that is actively build your microculture.

227

Your microculture is your perfect blend of both your cultures,

228

your habits, your traditions, and your languages.

229

So build your love language,

230

invent new words that don't exist,

231

Switch between your languages as much as possible.

232

Define your own humor.

233

Get your own insider jokes.

234

Define your own comedic language.

235

That's the humor that counts.

236

And work towards an equal power dynamic.

237

Give each other chances to grow in each other's languages and countries.

238

What I want you to take away today is that all these challenges are tricky,

239

but they're also an opportunity to evolve,

240

no matter if it's with an intercultural friend,

241

or at work, or in a romantic relationship.

242

Love is hard in a second language,

243

but it's definitely worth it.

244

I'm sure you'll all handle it too.

245

Thank you.

TRENDING

ยอดนิยม

เทคนิค Shadowing คืออะไร?

Shadowing เป็นเทคนิคการเรียนรู้ภาษาที่ได้รับการรับรองทางวิทยาศาสตร์ พัฒนาขึ้นสำหรับการฝึกนักแปลมืออาชีพ วิธีการนี้เรียบง่ายแต่ทรงพลัง: คุณฟังเสียงภาษาอังกฤษจากเจ้าของภาษาและพูดตามทันที — เหมือนเงาที่ตามผู้พูดด้วยช่วงเวลาห่าง 1-2 วินาที การวิจัยแสดงว่าเทคนิคนี้ปรับปรุงความแม่นยำในการออกเสียง ทำนองเสียง จังหวะ การเชื่อมเสียง การฟังเข้าใจ และความคล่องแคล่วในการพูดได้อย่างมีนัยสำคัญ

☕ เลี้ยงกาแฟเราสักแก้ว

ShadowingEnglish ยังคงเปิดให้ใช้งาน ฟรี 100% ได้ด้วยการสนับสนุนจากคุณ ค่าใช้จ่ายสำหรับเซิร์ฟเวอร์และ AI นั้นสูงมาก — กาแฟของคุณช่วยให้เราเดินหน้าต่อไปได้! 🙏

บริจาคผ่าน PayPal

ShadowingEnglish.com – ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษแบบ Shadowing

ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Why Love Is Harder in a Second Language | Magdalena Hoeller | TED

ยอดนิยม

เกี่ยวกับบทเรียนนี้

คำศัพท์และวลีสำคัญ

เคล็ดลับการฝึกสำหรับวิดีโอนี้

เทคนิค Shadowing คืออะไร?

ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Why Love Is Harder in a Second Language | Magdalena Hoeller | TED

ดาวน์โหลดแอป

เกี่ยวกับบทเรียนนี้

คำศัพท์และวลีสำคัญ

เคล็ดลับการฝึกสำหรับวิดีโอนี้

เทคนิค Shadowing คืออะไร?