Shadowing Practice: Being Not Straight - Learn English Speaking with Video
Ders oluşturuluyor...
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Okay, before I even say anything, let's lay out some ground rules.
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This is probably gonna be the most open I'll ever get about my personal life.
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I know I've shared tidbits of myself and life through little stories, but when it comes to personal stuff, I'm very private.
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Especially within the past few years.
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I'm gonna be talking in very general surface level terms
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because specific personal details are for me to know and in the nicest way possible, none of your business.
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Basically, this is something I want to talk about, share, and bring a spotlight to.
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But at the same time you get the cliff notes version
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So no trying to assume
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or guess anything beyond what I'm sharing within this video at
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the end of the day We're all just strangers refusing to listen to the stranger danger rule.
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All right formalities aside Let's get into it.
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I've come to realize that I'm aroace which stands for aromanic asexual and I know what you're thinking That's not gay.
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What the hell is that?
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And you know what that is completely fair because I didn't know what
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that was either Aromantic and asexual are two different things and I'm gonna break them down to you separately, starting with aromantic because no one really knows what that one is.
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And also it's my personal favorite.
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Someone who's aromantic is defined as a person who feels very little to no romantic attraction to anyone at all.
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So like they might not develop crushes on people or feel the need to be in a romantic relationship with anyone.
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Very general terms, but hopefully you kind of get the gist.
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If not, here's a little story example from me.
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Growing up, I never developed crushes on anyone.
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I remember when I was in fifth grade, kids were talking about their crushes left and right, and it was starting to feel like something I had to experience too, just because...
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I thought that's just what happens.
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Don't make fun of nine-year-old me, I was a sheep.
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Anyway, I decided I needed to have a crush because that's just what happens to people, and I very robotically chose this random kid in the class who we can call Pikachu.
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That's not his name.
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He didn't mean anything to me, and I didn't do anything about this crush.
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Like I didn't tell anyone or anything.
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It was just a headcanon thing for me to feel up to speed
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and like I was hitting my normal human emotions quota.
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But it's funny because on Valentine's Day, you know how in elementary school everyone would bring cheesy Walmart Valentine's cards for everyone in the class
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and then you'd have a box full of candy and hollow emotions from everyone?
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Well, my school did that.
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When I went through my box, I pulled out Pikachu's Valentine and thought to myself Someone who has a crush on someone would keep this Yeah,
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I think so I put Pikachu's copy paste Batman Valentine in my drawer
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and promptly forgot about it because it meant nothing to me But hey, that's just what I thought I was supposed to do
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man I'm so good at this then like a year or
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so later when my mom was going through my room She pulled out the card
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and was like Why do you have this and I was like honestly?
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I have no idea years past I entered junior high
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and thought to myself all right This is the time where people start developing crushes and then do something about it.
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Like get into relationships or something.
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So I was like preparing to be interested in people.
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On the first day of school I scoped out the room to see
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if there was anyone that I thought looked like someone I could develop a crush on.
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And this was when classes started being divided up into periods, so there were like six batches of people I sifted through.
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But no one caught my eye and I thought, man.
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Unlucky.
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After the whole school year, next year old around classes changed, I did the same potentials crush scoping again.
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And the same thing happened.
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I wasn't drawn to anyone at all.
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Man.
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Unlucky again!
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Every year, I thought something would change.
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Especially going into high school, when people started actually hitting puberty and were getting conventionally attractive.
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But my entire school life, grades kindergarten to senior year, which I'm pretty sure is like 13 years, I wasn't interested in a single person throughout any of it.
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And what's funny was I was thinking, man, what's the deal?
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Why is no one attractive?
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And I went to a big high school.
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There were like three and a half thousand students there.
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Surely I am not the outlier in this formula.
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Why are none of you attractive?
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By the time I was going to college, I really felt like I had to find someone.
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It felt like I was falling behind the curve or
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if I was gonna find someone it was gonna have to happen now.
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I made a lot of new friends and that's when I thought I developed my first genuine crush.
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Long story short, in hindsight, no, it wasn't a crush and I was just wrong.
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I just met someone who I thought was cool and funny and had a really strong desire to be close to them, but looking back, knowing what I do now,
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it wasn't in a romantic way.
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I realized I can get very excited
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and tunnel vision on people I think are really cool
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or interesting and kind of obsessed over getting to know them or just want to spend a lot of time with them.
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But whenever I got into those tunnel vision moments
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if I sat down and asked myself
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if I actually wanted to be in a Relationship with them
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and hold hands or cuddle or kiss the answer was not really
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But if they wanted to I could go along with it
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Which I do not think is right in my very old flirting video, which I refuse to rewatch I think at one point in it I said something along the lines of
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if you're interested in someone, but they just want to be friends I don't understand why some people can't deal with that.
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And that was primarily because I didn't realize there was an emotional difference between a crush
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or falling in love and just being really good friends with someone.
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So, oops, sorry for the bad take, I think.
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I really just thought having a crush on someone was wanting to be their number one best friend.
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Look, I said don't make fun of me!
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To me, it used to feel like if I was wanting to become friends with someone to that high of a degree, that would be the next step or justify why I wanted to put this much time,
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effort, and energy into one person.
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And it didn't feel right or even fair going through all of this with someone
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and then tell them they're just a friend.
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I don't know.
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It just didn't feel like it made sense, even though I really didn't technically see them in a romantic way.
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I just didn't understand what was going on really or
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that there was supposed to be real emotions instead of a logical understanding of steps.
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And the fact that I was under the assumption
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that I was supposed to be interested in people in a romantic way didn't help with anything.
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I always preferred to say good friends, but never felt like I could have that.
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And I worried that if I said no, that we would just start drifting apart, which I obviously didn't want either.
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It's been a very long journey discovering this about myself.
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Everything I'm saying has all been extremely subconscious and not understood or defined for many years.
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I even used to think I was bi or pan for the longest time because I would think to myself, well, bi is being interested in both genders.
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I don't really care for either, but zero is equal to zero, so I guess I'm bi or pan.
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I got math involved.
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If I knew what aromanticism was when I was growing up, things would have been a lot less complicated for me a lot sooner.
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I think it's mainly because people don't really talk about it or even know what it is or that it's real.
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Romance and love is the number one most talked about topic on the planet.
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Everything I've been taught or learned through society is that love and romance is everywhere
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Everyone feels it and it's gonna happen to you.
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Just a funny little note There is a point where I
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was listening to some generic romance song on the radio You know like all of them
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and I just suddenly thought to myself Wait, do people actually feel these things towards each other?
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Like all these mushy lyrics are real emotions They're not joking.
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That's when I started feeling like something was different I approached romance under the blanket term thought of, Sure, why not?
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And didn't recognize it was actually a feeling.
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Which might sound stupid, but look, I don't know.
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No one presented me with any other options.
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I did a lot of rationalizing.
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If someone ever expressed romantic interest in me, I would mentally make a kind of logical list of their pros
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and cons and the pros
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and cons of what a relationship would look like with them based on what I knew about them as a person.
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I didn't realize there was supposed to be an extra, like, excited feeling or the fact that you're not supposed to think about it as if it were a business exchange.
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I understand compatibility is a huge important variable when it comes to sharing a relationship with someone, but at the end of the day,
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it's still apparently still a very emotionally driven thing.
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And I've literally had to make that discovery and teach it to myself.
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Now, I'm going to talk about being asexual very briefly, and I'm going to preface it with let's all just be mature about this, all right?
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We're all pretending to be adults here.
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I've got I have my eye on some of you.
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Behave!
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Okay, this is definitely treading into uncomfortable personal boundary territory for me, but yeah, I do want to share that I'm asexual too,
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which is defined as someone who feels little to no intimate attraction to anyone.
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Look, I know we said we're all adults, but I'm still gonna dance around the vocabulary, alright?
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Yes, there's a difference between romantic and intimate attraction.
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Attraction, little side note, I will say you can experience romantic attraction to someone but no intimate attraction.
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Or you can experience intimate attraction but no romantic attraction.
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You can be one and not the other, it's not necessarily a package deal.
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Most people feel both, and I do not feel either.
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Anyway, I have never been magnetically attracted to the look or shape of a single person in my entire life, and did not realize it was a real thing until very recently.
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I'm able to identify when someone looks conventionally attractive,
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like by textbook definition, but I never realized people are genuinely drawn to people they think are attractive.
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I didn't know that people could just see someone and be like, wow, they're gorgeous.
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I would love to get to know that person
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or maybe go on a date with them or whatever else you people do.
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I didn't think it was real.
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I thought people were exaggerating or something.
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I don't know.
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And I also couldn't believe that some people feel that with multiple people.
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Or like, celebrities.
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Which sounds absolutely exhausting.
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It ties back to when I was in school, like, looking around for people to like.
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It makes sense now that no one caught my eye because that doesn't happen to me.
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I was just wasting my time for 13 years.
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I feel like such a fool.
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Now, there's an easy assumption to make about asexual people, and that they all have zero interest in being intimate with anyone at all, which actually isn't true.
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Some of them are genuinely turned off by it, and some aren't.
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Some reasons would be that they just don't mind it, or they want to make their partner happy, or enjoy the emotional closeness of it.
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There's a million different reasons and a million different people.
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Am I sharing what kind of a people I am?
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Nope.
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And you don't know me personally enough in the slightest to be able to try
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and parasocially analyze where I stand on that spectrum.
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I'm just here to say I am this.
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We are moving on.
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When I stumbled onto the term Arrow Ace and started realizing I fall into that category, it helped me feel much more confident and sure of myself.
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I've read a lot about how people say they felt broken or that something was wrong with them, but honestly I was the complete opposite.
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Coming from my very biased perspective, I think Arrow Ace is one of, if not the coolest and most confident orientations out there.
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Not needing a single gram of romantic or intimate validation from anyone is so cool.
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All you need is yourself to be happy, maybe friends and family too, and birds.
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The more I came to terms with the fact I'm Arrow Ace, the more empowered and capable I felt,
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but at the same time I was also starting to feel more alone and isolated.
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As cool and amazing and unique and awesome as I think it is, it can be really hard for other people to relate to or even understand.
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Everyone else and their orientations are able to bond and relate to the love and romance aspects, and we're over here like, we don't do that.
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I don't even know if I'm explaining it very well.
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It kind of does go against everything everyone's ever been taught about anything.
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Romance is taught to be a basic assumed emotion, which I do think is a bit misleading.
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A common argument used against the Aero Ace orientation is that romance and intimacy is what makes someone human.
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But I mean, I don't know, lots of birds mate for life, which is a better ratio than people, and all animals get frisky.
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You know, that's just how they became not extinct.
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It's not an exclusive to humans thing.
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If I were to guess, I would assume the thing that makes someone human is basic empathy.
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Like, I'm not an emotionalist monster, I can still love people.
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I love my family and my pets.
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Just...
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Platonically.
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And I would hope that you're the same.
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I just don't experience romantic love, which...
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I don't know, I don't think that's harming anyone.
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Definitely not me.
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I'm having the time of my life.
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I don't think you need to be in a relationship to be happy.
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And if you don't want to be just on your own, I think there's many types of people in relationships that push the boundaries of what a conventional relationship looks like.
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Telling someone that they need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy and fulfilled is weird.
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And then when that person says they're not happy, they're told relationships take a lot of work and that's just how it goes.
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And that's also weird.
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I don't know.
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I also think it's weird that once someone reaches a certain age, people inherently start thinking it's sad they're not in a romantic relationship or assume they're lonely and sad.
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No one thinks a child is sad and lonely just because they're not in a long-term relationship.
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I don't know.
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I don't get it.
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And I also think I'm rambling.
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At the end of the day, it's all very complicated to talk about these things, especially because I don't know the feelings I'm supposed to be feeling, let alone talk about.
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I just know for me the terms aromantic
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and asexual are able to articulate things I was subconsciously feeling
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and thinking before I even realized I was feeling and thinking them.
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I don't plan on talking about this very much, if at all, ever again.
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I just want to play my silly little video games, maybe tell a story here or there.
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But I wanted to bring the orientations to the surface
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and try to get more representation out there because I thought if I could help more people become more aware of this, then that would be awesome.
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I was confused as hell for a while and could have used something like this.
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It's a real thing.
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You don't have to feel any sort of romance or whatever to be considered a real person.
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Personally, I think it's really cool and badass.
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And don't be afraid to look more into aromanticism or asexualism
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if any of what I said in this video resonated with you to any degree.
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Like I said, this is all very surface level stuff.
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They're both much larger spectrums than you'd think and maybe you fall under some umbrella category with them.
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I don't know. Or not.
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Either way.
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This has all been my personal experience with this stuff.
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Is there more for me to figure out within it?
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Yeah, I'm pretty sure there is.
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It can get pretty complicated and confusing.
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Haha, awesome.
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Will I be sharing any of that with you?
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Nope, no way.
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This is all you get.
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Hope you can understand even just a little of what I talked about.
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And if not, that's totally fine.
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I just hope you can be nice.
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Thanks for listening.
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I never really intended on making this video because I haven't really felt a strong urge to...
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Like, I don't like using this phrase for myself, but, but come out.
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But I did end up wanting to make the video to make people more aware of this stuff
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because I think it's important and Someone has to there's not really that many people doing it right now Anyway, yeah, just moving forward.
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I guess see you later
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “Being Not Straight” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 233 cümle ve 3064 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 15:21 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 200 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %82’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| crush fiil | /kɹʌʃ/ | ezmek |
| attraction isim | /əˈtɹækʃn̩/ | çekim, atraksiyon |
| emotion isim | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | duygu, his |
| aromantic sıfat | /ˌeɪ.ɹəʊˈmæn.tɪk/ | aromantik |
| unlucky sıfat | /ʌnˈlʌki/ | uğursuz |
| assumption isim | /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/ | varsayım |
| closeness isim | /ˈkloʊs.nəs/ | yakınlık |
| cuddle fiil | /ˈkʌd.l̩/ | kucaklaşmak |
| exaggerate fiil | /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/ | abartmak, mübalağa etmek |
| formality isim | /fɔːrˈmælɪti/ | formalite, ciddiyet |
| hindsight isim | /ˈhaɪn(d)saɪt/ | retrospektif |
| mislead fiil | /mɪsˈliːd/ | ayartmak, saptırmak |
| preface isim | /ˈpɹɛfəs/ | önsöz |
| puberty isim | /ˈpjuː.bə.ti/ | ergenlik dönemi |
| stumble fiil | /ˈstʌmbəl/ | tökezlemek |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| grow up fiil | büyümek, yetişmek | |
| come out fiil | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | çıkmak |
| figure out fiil | açığa çıkarmak | |
| sit down fiil | oturmak | |
| turn off fiil | kapamak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- If not, here's a little story example from me.
- I thought that's just what happens.
- I wasn't drawn to anyone at all.
- Why are none of you attractive?
- Will I be sharing any of that with you?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Koşul cümleleri if + cümle, will/would + fiil — bir koşul ve sonucu | if I said no, that we would just · If I were to guess, I would assume |
| “Used to” used to + fiil — artık geçerli olmayan eski bir alışkanlık ya da durum | used to feel · used to think |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | is defined · being divided · wasn't drawn |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | I've shared · I've come · I've been taught |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, I'm, didn't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 107 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: crush /kɹʌʃ/, attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, orientation /ˌɔː.ɹi.ənˈteɪ.ʃən/, conventionally /kənˈvɛnʃənəli/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: aromantic /ˌeɪ.ɹəʊˈmæn.tɪk/, orientation /ˌɔː.ɹi.ənˈteɪ.ʃən/, aromanticism /ˌeɪ.ɹəʊˈmæn.tɪ.sɪ.zəm/, conventionally /kənˈvɛnʃənəli/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: rewatch /ɹiːˈwɒtʃ/, quota /ˈkwəʊ.tə/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: crush /kɹʌʃ/, closeness /ˈkloʊs.nəs/, frisky /ˈfɹɪski/, preface /ˈpɹɛfəs/, puberty /ˈpjuː.bə.ti/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, aromantic /ˌeɪ.ɹəʊˈmæn.tɪk/, aromanticism /ˌeɪ.ɹəʊˈmæn.tɪ.sɪ.zəm/, exaggerate /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/, formality /fɔːrˈmælɪti/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; crush, attraction, emotion gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.