Pratique du Shadowing: Being Not Straight - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

Okay, before I even say anything, let's lay out some ground rules.

This is probably gonna be the most open I'll ever get about my personal life.

I know I've shared tidbits of myself and life through little stories, but when it comes to personal stuff, I'm very private.

Especially within the past few years.

I'm gonna be talking in very general surface level terms

because specific personal details are for me to know and in the nicest way possible, none of your business.

Basically, this is something I want to talk about, share, and bring a spotlight to.

But at the same time you get the cliff notes version

So no trying to assume

or guess anything beyond what I'm sharing within this video at

the end of the day We're all just strangers refusing to listen to the stranger danger rule.

All right formalities aside Let's get into it.

I've come to realize that I'm aroace which stands for aromanic asexual and I know what you're thinking That's not gay.

What the hell is that?

And you know what that is completely fair because I didn't know what

that was either Aromantic and asexual are two different things and I'm gonna break them down to you separately, starting with aromantic because no one really knows what that one is.

And also it's my personal favorite.

Someone who's aromantic is defined as a person who feels very little to no romantic attraction to anyone at all.

So like they might not develop crushes on people or feel the need to be in a romantic relationship with anyone.

Very general terms, but hopefully you kind of get the gist.

If not, here's a little story example from me.

Growing up, I never developed crushes on anyone.

I remember when I was in fifth grade, kids were talking about their crushes left and right, and it was starting to feel like something I had to experience too, just because...

I thought that's just what happens.

Don't make fun of nine-year-old me, I was a sheep.

Anyway, I decided I needed to have a crush because that's just what happens to people, and I very robotically chose this random kid in the class who we can call Pikachu.

That's not his name.

He didn't mean anything to me, and I didn't do anything about this crush.

Like I didn't tell anyone or anything.

It was just a headcanon thing for me to feel up to speed

and like I was hitting my normal human emotions quota.

But it's funny because on Valentine's Day, you know how in elementary school everyone would bring cheesy Walmart Valentine's cards for everyone in the class

and then you'd have a box full of candy and hollow emotions from everyone?

Well, my school did that.

When I went through my box, I pulled out Pikachu's Valentine and thought to myself Someone who has a crush on someone would keep this Yeah,

I think so I put Pikachu's copy paste Batman Valentine in my drawer

and promptly forgot about it because it meant nothing to me But hey, that's just what I thought I was supposed to do

man I'm so good at this then like a year or

so later when my mom was going through my room She pulled out the card

and was like Why do you have this and I was like honestly?

I have no idea years past I entered junior high

and thought to myself all right This is the time where people start developing crushes and then do something about it.

Like get into relationships or something.

So I was like preparing to be interested in people.

On the first day of school I scoped out the room to see

if there was anyone that I thought looked like someone I could develop a crush on.

And this was when classes started being divided up into periods, so there were like six batches of people I sifted through.

But no one caught my eye and I thought, man.

Unlucky.

After the whole school year, next year old around classes changed, I did the same potentials crush scoping again.

And the same thing happened.

I wasn't drawn to anyone at all.

Man.

Unlucky again!

Every year, I thought something would change.

Especially going into high school, when people started actually hitting puberty and were getting conventionally attractive.

But my entire school life, grades kindergarten to senior year, which I'm pretty sure is like 13 years, I wasn't interested in a single person throughout any of it.

And what's funny was I was thinking, man, what's the deal?

Why is no one attractive?

And I went to a big high school.

There were like three and a half thousand students there.

Surely I am not the outlier in this formula.

Why are none of you attractive?

By the time I was going to college, I really felt like I had to find someone.

It felt like I was falling behind the curve or

if I was gonna find someone it was gonna have to happen now.

I made a lot of new friends and that's when I thought I developed my first genuine crush.

Long story short, in hindsight, no, it wasn't a crush and I was just wrong.

I just met someone who I thought was cool and funny and had a really strong desire to be close to them, but looking back, knowing what I do now,

it wasn't in a romantic way.

I realized I can get very excited

and tunnel vision on people I think are really cool

or interesting and kind of obsessed over getting to know them or just want to spend a lot of time with them.

But whenever I got into those tunnel vision moments

if I sat down and asked myself

if I actually wanted to be in a Relationship with them

and hold hands or cuddle or kiss the answer was not really

But if they wanted to I could go along with it

Which I do not think is right in my very old flirting video, which I refuse to rewatch I think at one point in it I said something along the lines of

if you're interested in someone, but they just want to be friends I don't understand why some people can't deal with that.

And that was primarily because I didn't realize there was an emotional difference between a crush

or falling in love and just being really good friends with someone.

So, oops, sorry for the bad take, I think.

I really just thought having a crush on someone was wanting to be their number one best friend.

Look, I said don't make fun of me!

To me, it used to feel like if I was wanting to become friends with someone to that high of a degree, that would be the next step or justify why I wanted to put this much time,

effort, and energy into one person.

And it didn't feel right or even fair going through all of this with someone

and then tell them they're just a friend.

I don't know.

It just didn't feel like it made sense, even though I really didn't technically see them in a romantic way.

I just didn't understand what was going on really or

that there was supposed to be real emotions instead of a logical understanding of steps.

And the fact that I was under the assumption

that I was supposed to be interested in people in a romantic way didn't help with anything.

I always preferred to say good friends, but never felt like I could have that.

And I worried that if I said no, that we would just start drifting apart, which I obviously didn't want either.

It's been a very long journey discovering this about myself.

Everything I'm saying has all been extremely subconscious and not understood or defined for many years.

100

I even used to think I was bi or pan for the longest time because I would think to myself, well, bi is being interested in both genders.

101

I don't really care for either, but zero is equal to zero, so I guess I'm bi or pan.

102

I got math involved.

103

If I knew what aromanticism was when I was growing up, things would have been a lot less complicated for me a lot sooner.

104

I think it's mainly because people don't really talk about it or even know what it is or that it's real.

105

Romance and love is the number one most talked about topic on the planet.

106

Everything I've been taught or learned through society is that love and romance is everywhere

107

Everyone feels it and it's gonna happen to you.

108

Just a funny little note There is a point where I

109

was listening to some generic romance song on the radio You know like all of them

110

and I just suddenly thought to myself Wait, do people actually feel these things towards each other?

111

Like all these mushy lyrics are real emotions They're not joking.

112

That's when I started feeling like something was different I approached romance under the blanket term thought of, Sure, why not?

113

And didn't recognize it was actually a feeling.

114

Which might sound stupid, but look, I don't know.

115

No one presented me with any other options.

116

I did a lot of rationalizing.

117

If someone ever expressed romantic interest in me, I would mentally make a kind of logical list of their pros

118

and cons and the pros

119

and cons of what a relationship would look like with them based on what I knew about them as a person.

120

I didn't realize there was supposed to be an extra, like, excited feeling or the fact that you're not supposed to think about it as if it were a business exchange.

121

I understand compatibility is a huge important variable when it comes to sharing a relationship with someone, but at the end of the day,

122

it's still apparently still a very emotionally driven thing.

123

And I've literally had to make that discovery and teach it to myself.

124

Now, I'm going to talk about being asexual very briefly, and I'm going to preface it with let's all just be mature about this, all right?

125

We're all pretending to be adults here.

126

I've got I have my eye on some of you.

127

Behave!

128

Okay, this is definitely treading into uncomfortable personal boundary territory for me, but yeah, I do want to share that I'm asexual too,

129

which is defined as someone who feels little to no intimate attraction to anyone.

130

Look, I know we said we're all adults, but I'm still gonna dance around the vocabulary, alright?

131

Yes, there's a difference between romantic and intimate attraction.

132

Attraction, little side note, I will say you can experience romantic attraction to someone but no intimate attraction.

133

Or you can experience intimate attraction but no romantic attraction.

134

You can be one and not the other, it's not necessarily a package deal.

135

Most people feel both, and I do not feel either.

136

Anyway, I have never been magnetically attracted to the look or shape of a single person in my entire life, and did not realize it was a real thing until very recently.

137

I'm able to identify when someone looks conventionally attractive,

138

like by textbook definition, but I never realized people are genuinely drawn to people they think are attractive.

139

I didn't know that people could just see someone and be like, wow, they're gorgeous.

140

I would love to get to know that person

141

or maybe go on a date with them or whatever else you people do.

142

I didn't think it was real.

143

I thought people were exaggerating or something.

144

I don't know.

145

And I also couldn't believe that some people feel that with multiple people.

146

Or like, celebrities.

147

Which sounds absolutely exhausting.

148

It ties back to when I was in school, like, looking around for people to like.

149

It makes sense now that no one caught my eye because that doesn't happen to me.

150

I was just wasting my time for 13 years.

151

I feel like such a fool.

152

Now, there's an easy assumption to make about asexual people, and that they all have zero interest in being intimate with anyone at all, which actually isn't true.

153

Some of them are genuinely turned off by it, and some aren't.

154

Some reasons would be that they just don't mind it, or they want to make their partner happy, or enjoy the emotional closeness of it.

155

There's a million different reasons and a million different people.

156

Am I sharing what kind of a people I am?

157

Nope.

158

And you don't know me personally enough in the slightest to be able to try

159

and parasocially analyze where I stand on that spectrum.

160

I'm just here to say I am this.

161

We are moving on.

162

When I stumbled onto the term Arrow Ace and started realizing I fall into that category, it helped me feel much more confident and sure of myself.

163

I've read a lot about how people say they felt broken or that something was wrong with them, but honestly I was the complete opposite.

164

Coming from my very biased perspective, I think Arrow Ace is one of, if not the coolest and most confident orientations out there.

165

Not needing a single gram of romantic or intimate validation from anyone is so cool.

166

All you need is yourself to be happy, maybe friends and family too, and birds.

167

The more I came to terms with the fact I'm Arrow Ace, the more empowered and capable I felt,

168

but at the same time I was also starting to feel more alone and isolated.

169

As cool and amazing and unique and awesome as I think it is, it can be really hard for other people to relate to or even understand.

170

Everyone else and their orientations are able to bond and relate to the love and romance aspects, and we're over here like, we don't do that.

171

I don't even know if I'm explaining it very well.

172

It kind of does go against everything everyone's ever been taught about anything.

173

Romance is taught to be a basic assumed emotion, which I do think is a bit misleading.

174

A common argument used against the Aero Ace orientation is that romance and intimacy is what makes someone human.

175

But I mean, I don't know, lots of birds mate for life, which is a better ratio than people, and all animals get frisky.

176

You know, that's just how they became not extinct.

177

It's not an exclusive to humans thing.

178

If I were to guess, I would assume the thing that makes someone human is basic empathy.

179

Like, I'm not an emotionalist monster, I can still love people.

180

I love my family and my pets.

181

Just...

182

Platonically.

183

And I would hope that you're the same.

184

I just don't experience romantic love, which...

185

I don't know, I don't think that's harming anyone.

186

Definitely not me.

187

I'm having the time of my life.

188

I don't think you need to be in a relationship to be happy.

189

And if you don't want to be just on your own, I think there's many types of people in relationships that push the boundaries of what a conventional relationship looks like.

190

Telling someone that they need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy and fulfilled is weird.

191

And then when that person says they're not happy, they're told relationships take a lot of work and that's just how it goes.

192

And that's also weird.

193

I don't know.

194

I also think it's weird that once someone reaches a certain age, people inherently start thinking it's sad they're not in a romantic relationship or assume they're lonely and sad.

195

No one thinks a child is sad and lonely just because they're not in a long-term relationship.

196

I don't know.

197

I don't get it.

198

And I also think I'm rambling.

199

At the end of the day, it's all very complicated to talk about these things, especially because I don't know the feelings I'm supposed to be feeling, let alone talk about.

200

I just know for me the terms aromantic

201

and asexual are able to articulate things I was subconsciously feeling

202

and thinking before I even realized I was feeling and thinking them.

203

I don't plan on talking about this very much, if at all, ever again.

204

I just want to play my silly little video games, maybe tell a story here or there.

205

But I wanted to bring the orientations to the surface

206

and try to get more representation out there because I thought if I could help more people become more aware of this, then that would be awesome.

207

I was confused as hell for a while and could have used something like this.

208

It's a real thing.

209

You don't have to feel any sort of romance or whatever to be considered a real person.

210

Personally, I think it's really cool and badass.

211

And don't be afraid to look more into aromanticism or asexualism

212

if any of what I said in this video resonated with you to any degree.

213

Like I said, this is all very surface level stuff.

214

They're both much larger spectrums than you'd think and maybe you fall under some umbrella category with them.

215

I don't know. Or not.

216

Either way.

217

This has all been my personal experience with this stuff.

218

Is there more for me to figure out within it?

219

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there is.

220

It can get pretty complicated and confusing.

221

Haha, awesome.

222

Will I be sharing any of that with you?

223

Nope, no way.

224

This is all you get.

225

Hope you can understand even just a little of what I talked about.

226

And if not, that's totally fine.

227

I just hope you can be nice.

228

Thanks for listening.

229

I never really intended on making this video because I haven't really felt a strong urge to...

230

Like, I don't like using this phrase for myself, but, but come out.

231

But I did end up wanting to make the video to make people more aware of this stuff

232

because I think it's important and Someone has to there's not really that many people doing it right now Anyway, yeah, just moving forward.

233

I guess see you later

📺 Même chaîne

✨ Vidéo recommandée

103 phrases

How to Talk to Anyone | strangers, acquaintances & friends

en-USTeens+3

67 phrases

16 Personalities' Inner Monologues When They Like Someone

TeensHigh School Students+2

413 phrases

Every Romantic Orientation Explained in 10 Minutes [ Vol.2 ]

TeensHigh School Students+2

119 phrases

ArrDee Answers Assumptions About Him | Capital XTRA

TeensHigh School Students+2

578 phrases

Wait What!? EP 9: Modern Love, Modern Mess

TeensHigh School Students+2

176 phrases

I Secretly Became The Voice Of Faceless YouTube Channels

TeensHigh School Students+2

124 phrases

SAN DIEGO SERIES | Matt Rife crowdwork

TeensHigh School Students+2

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?

Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.

Technique du shadowing : lire le guide complet étape par étape →

Pratique du Shadowing: Being Not Straight - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

Locked out of my House

They put me in a video game...

Storyboard vs Animation: me complaining for 15 mins (shot 24)

My Random Thoughts

If you don't like reading, I've got the book for you

My School Stories

Talking about my cat again

How I ended up Vegetarian.

The Aroace Experience

How to Talk to Anyone | strangers, acquaintances & friends

16 Personalities' Inner Monologues When They Like Someone

never say never

Every Romantic Orientation Explained in 10 Minutes [ Vol.2 ]

ArrDee Answers Assumptions About Him | Capital XTRA

Wait What!? EP 9: Modern Love, Modern Mess

i am cringe

I Secretly Became The Voice Of Faceless YouTube Channels

What is sex?: Sex Ed #1

SAN DIEGO SERIES | Matt Rife crowdwork

À propos de cette leçon

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?