Pratique du Shadowing: Growing Up with My Stepdad - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

I know I tell a lot of funny stories on this channel, but this is not one of them.

I'm going to tell you about what I went through growing up with my stepdad.

I'm just going to warn you now, this is going to be a very painful video, but if you do choose to stay, when I tell this story, I want you to know the purpose of this video.

I don't want to blame him.

I don't want you to feel bad for me.

I just want to say how I feel, because for the longest time, I never told anybody.

So if there's just one person who feels seen when they watch this, then this video has fulfilled its purpose.

When I was six years old, my mom brought over a friend.

He was nice.

I remember he bought me my first gaming system and he would teach me how to play games.

I liked him.

But over time, he started staying over longer and longer

and eventually he moved in and he would hear from my mom that I would misbehave in school.

And my mom was tired of disciplining me.

So he started beating me.

I don't remember much when it started.

To be honest, I don't even remember the pain.

There were other things he did that hurt me more.

I was about eight years old

and I was already afraid of him by this point

but he came to my room and asked me

if I wanted to check out the ps3 he just bought

so we went into the living room and I sat across from him

and we looked at the shop together I was surprised

because he was being so nice to me I wanted to say something

so as we looked at the shop together I stuttered

and said do do they have any racing games

and he just looks at me like I asked him the

dumbest question ever he said you think I'm buying games for you go to your room

And so I went back to my room

and I just laid there thinking I just wanted to talk to him

and I messed it all up I just wanted to be his friend.

I cried myself to sleep that day Um, it's one of those memories where you don't realize you'll remember

this moment forever I've been able to push away a lot of bad memories, but that's one I can't forget I was 10 years old and he got really sick.

He needed a transplant or he would die I remember my mom was stressing

so much taking care of him He was turning yellow and he lost so much weight.

He hurt me a lot by that point, so when I heard he could die, in a weird messed up way, I felt relief.

I should have felt scared, but I didn't.

He got a transplant.

As I got older, it got worse.

I was 13 years old.

His temper was worse than before.

I was maturing and I would start talking back and disagreeing with my mom.

And he would start beating me because of it.

Anytime I would disrespect him or open my mouth when I shouldn't, he would get the belt.

One time he was hitting me so hard it broke and I stared him in the eye feeling strong for a second.

He smiled at me and went to grab another belt. That one didn't break.

I would cry now from the anger I would feel after he beat me.

The pain hurt but not as much as the humiliation I felt from being hit over and over again.

I would just lay there after he was done and out of breath.

I was left with nothing but shame.

One time, he was so angry at me, and I don't even remember what I did, but he pushed me to the ground, and he screamed in my face,

I don't even know why he called me that

and I asked him while I was crying on the ground why did you call me

that I'm not even black and he hesitated

and said no that's not what I meant so what did you mean

and he couldn't answer but I understood he just hated me

so much that the only word in the English language

that could paint the way he felt about me was that word My mom watched the whole thing happen from the doorway.

And you know what's the strangest part?

I don't even remember what we were fighting about.

I only remember what he called me.

What did I do to deserve getting called that?

I mean, I must have done something horrible, right?

That's the only reason he would say that.

I went to school that week, and one of the essays was about overcoming a challenge in your life.

So I wrote this story about how he called me that.

And my principal called me into the office that day and asked me if I was okay.

I told him I was fine.

In fact, I was even surprised it was a concern in the first place.

I didn't feel like I had any actual problems.

The next week, we had a parent-teacher conference, and all the way home, my stepdad was complaining about how my principal wouldn't stop staring at him like he wanted to fight him.

And that made me smile in the backseat.

It would be the only time someone held him responsible for his actions.

It was the day before my 16th birthday.

I was grounded, but I had been using my laptop to paint.

I would sneak away and paint digital art and hide the computer before he got home.

But my mom told him what I was doing

and he told me to show him where it was

But I wasn't going to let him take away my art

So I refused He then smashed my phone right in front of me Then he stormed into my room

and started tearing down my closet He was making such a mess

that he was going to rip my drawing

So I reached up to stop the shelves from breaking and he pushed me off And he said, you just put your hands on me, you're out of this house

And then he called the cops on me The police showed up

and I watched him complain to him that I put my hands on him when I never wanted to hurt anyone.

My mom didn't try to stop him, even when she knew he was trying to kick me out of the house.

So when I was alone with the cops, I asked them, did you ever fight with your dad?

What do I do?

All he said was, their house, their rules.

When you turn 18, you can move out and do whatever you want.

I'm 18 years old now.

Long story short, I was fighting with my mom, and this time it got so bad, I ended up kneeling on the floor in a ball while my mom held a knife over me, screaming how she's going to kill me.

My stepdad was watching us from the counter, not saying a word.

I looked at him and begged him for help.

I don't know why, I just thought the situation was so bad he would help me.

He did not.

He just watched.

And when I walked out of the house, I had to call the cops on my mom.

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They found the knife on the floor, and they took her away.

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And when I walked back upstairs to my room, he looked at me and said, You know you're not staying here tonight.

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I said I know.

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I didn't feel safe with him in the house anyway, but hearing that after what just happened It made me feel like it was all my fault.

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I Was so tired of not being loved.

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I'm 21 years old I moved out my roommate

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and I are at the gym

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and he brought his boxing gloves I've never fought before

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but I wanted him to teach me and so we end up sparring

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and he hits me a little too hard and it stings But not that bad.

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I do my best to handle it But for some reason, I still let out a few tears.

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He asked me if I'm okay, and I'm like, yeah, I just don't know why I'm crying.

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It didn't hurt that bad.

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But as we were walking home that night, I start tearing up again.

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Because I realized why I cried when he hit me.

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And so I told him, the only time I've ever been hit in my life, it was my stepdad.

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So when we were boxing, I didn't see you.

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All I could see was him.

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I broke down in front of him crying.

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And no matter how far from home I was, I didn't realize that the scared little kid was still in there.

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And it broke me remembering how scared I was, how powerless I felt.

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I started going to the gym more after that.

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I'm now taller and stronger than him.

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And sometimes when I walk around the house and I'm next to him, I get these intrusive thoughts.

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I realized that if I really wanted to, I could get revenge for all the times he hurt me.

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It would probably only take me one good punch.

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But why would I ever want to hurt someone weaker than me?

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I don't know.

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And I don't know why he did

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when I was little we visited his dad's house

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And he would joke and say

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that grandpa used to beat him up all the time

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when he was angry And so

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when he was nice to us He would say it was weird

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because his dad was so mean to him growing up

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And I would just think about how funny it was

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that he would continue the cycle with me if you knew how bad it was

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Why did you have to make me feel that way too?

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I don't know who to talk to about this stuff And

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so I've never really told anyone not even my own sister knows everything every night Tonight, he goes up to her room and he talks to her before bed.

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Last year, he told my sister that he's proud of me.

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I had to hear that from her.

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The man who beat me is afraid to tell me he's proud of me.

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Growing up, I would hear my stepdad call me worthless and say it's all my fault.

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And it just hurt to hear that because sometimes I already think those things about myself.

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I'll be honest, when life doesn't have its meaning, when I feel alone, making something, anything just to make someone else smile or feel seen,

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that's what keeps me going.

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So when I pick up the pen, when I make that video, when someone's day gets better because of me, then everything I went through was worth getting through.

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I know I talked about a lot of dark thoughts and giving up in this video, and there may be some of you who are suffering right now, but you are never alone.

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There's always someone out there fighting the same battle that you're going through.

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It's our responsibility to take our pain and turn it into something we can use to help others.

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Every battle you overcome makes you stronger, and one day you'll be strong enough to help someone like you.

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I'm making this video because I know what it's like to feel alone, to grow up scared, to never feel loved, to be hated by people who are supposed to love you.

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Not everyone will understand what that feels like, and I'm glad they don't.

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But for those of you who do, I made this video for you.

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holy shit man like i gotta give you some like aftercare

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that was quite a ride i feel like

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that was such an emotional video

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but the truth is i've always wanted to make this video

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watching youtube growing up it helped distract me from all my

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problems in my house it gave me a taste of the world outside all the abuse right

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so this is why being youtuber was my biggest dream i

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just wanted to inspire people like I was growing up

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and um do I use humor to cope hell yeah man

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I mean you gotta what else can you do I just

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I want you guys to know I'm good like actually it kind of sucks

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that my life was like that growing up

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but deep down I knew I was better I was going to be great someday

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And thanks to you guys I have the chance to do

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that without you I wouldn't be able to accomplish my dreams I'm so glad that you guys are here.

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Also.

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I did mention my mom a little bit.

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I Will talk about her at some point, but That's another video Anyway,

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I hope you guys have a good day

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Please go watch another video after this

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that is not as depressing do not end your night watching this video That's gonna be kind of rough.

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Okay, go watch my freaky principal story.

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That will probably help you.

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Okay, I'll see you later Bye-bye.

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Bye-bye Yes, I did you did it amazing.

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Thank you for subscribing guys.

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I love you see you right here

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?

Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.

Pratique du Shadowing: Growing Up with My Stepdad - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

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Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?