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Guys, quick bit of admin before we start.
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We love you and thank you for being here.
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This is Still Not Straight.
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We're your co-hosts, your fave lesbians, Tessa and Shannon.
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From heartbreaks to hard launches, we're diving into it all with brutal honesty and a little too much humor.
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Let's go, babies.
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You need to do it with me.
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Strap in, babies.
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Welcome back, babies.
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Guess what?
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What?
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We're going to talk about sex, baby.
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Let's talk about you and me.
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You and me.
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I'm joking.
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But we are going to get into a lot of sex talk.
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We promised you last week after the taboo topics that we would dive a little deeper.
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And there's so much to cover that it needed its own episode.
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Yeah.
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This is, and we know I've spoken about this so many times before, such an important topic.
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It is.
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Something that I want to be less taboo, something that I want people to feel comfortable and be good at.
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Yeah.
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Because it, God.
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Who doesn't want to be good at sex?
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That's what I'm saying.
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You know what I mean?
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Let's be so honest.
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But what also prompted this as well is we heard Cara Delevingne on Call Her Daddy podcast.
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Wild.
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Well, wild because she basically spoke about how she'd sleep with all of her friends and they had boyfriends at the time.
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And we've even joked about that on this podcast.
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I've been there, done that.
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Experimenting is incredible.
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But to then boast about it and...
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And we, you know, obviously joke about Tessa goes for straight girls.
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I actually don't.
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And I don't think that should be something that is promoted in the way that she speaks about it.
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I actually don't agree with that.
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But do I think she covered an important thing that actually happens, which is friends...
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Experimentation and friends...
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testing things out on each other.
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Yeah.
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But even with that being said, I get a hundred questions a day about sex.
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It could be generalized.
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It doesn't even have to be about lesbian sex, but I get asked about sex probably more than anything.
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Do you actually?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Sarah even had a lot of good questions for me on the holiday.
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We did not experiment for her to find out the hard way.
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Right.
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So I just answered them verbally, which is what I want to do on this episode.
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Get out your notepads, guys.
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Oh, I thought you were going to say, get out your vagina.
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I was like, ah, you've got to pay me a bit extra for that.
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You know what?
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To save you the trouble, we'll take a photo of it and put it up on a screen in the middle and we'll get our pointers out.
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Again, not my vagina specifically but a textbook vagina, sure.
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We can do that if that's what you guys want.
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Yeah.
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We can make it happen.
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I feel like even though girls have vaginas themselves,
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some just still don't explore it or don't actually know enough about it and something that I've become, you know, it's one of my favourite topics I suppose now.
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So I just feel like let's share some wisdom, knowledge, whatever can help.
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Have I ever spoken about my sexuality as a teenager on here and the notebook and that sort of stuff?
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What?
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I've never brought it up.
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Maybe.
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I don't know.
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Okay.
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What's the notebook?
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What's the notebook?
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Yeah.
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What year did the notebook come out, please?
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Quickly, someone.
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All right.
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So we've just done some math.
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We've just crunched some numbers.
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I'm no mathematician.
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I was way too fucking young when it came out.
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So it wasn't when it came out.
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However, why are we starting the episode off on this?
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Can we, I'll bring this up later.
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You wanted to confess about masturbating.
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No, I wanted because we were talking about sexual.
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Oh, my fucking God.
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We're in.
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We're in.
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Guys, I was falling asleep two seconds ago.
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Now I'm rowdy.
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I'm ready to go.
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So notebook, okay, it wasn't when it came out because, like I said, we worked out I was in grade four and ten.
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So it was probably a couple of years later on DVD.
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i love which and does the longer yeah i know it's on dvd
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and obvious like i had a phone
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and stuff back then did i go on websites no i probably didn't
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so i think you this the notebook sex scene was my porn um
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and i used to plug it in the dvd player
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and i would explore myself to the sex scene of the notebook hot at whatever the fuck
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that age was to ryan ryan gosling and or rachel who you The sex scene in general.
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I don't think I was too focused on who it was.
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I think it was just the sex.
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So is that when you think you started masturbating?
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Is that like your earliest memory of that?
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That's my earliest memory.
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Do you know I know so many girls who have never to this day masturbated.
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That's so sad.
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What?
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You are missing out.
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Swear, swear.
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I know girls.
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And as soon as I hear that, I'm like, please touch yourself.
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Please, to the love of God, what the fuck?
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Because how are you meant to know what you like
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or tell your partner if you can't do it to yourself and work it out?
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Are people lesbians?
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Both.
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Mix.
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Mix.
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Mix.
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That's interesting. And toys.
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I'm not a toy girl.
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Actually, to be fair, I didn't get my first toy till I was like...
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I'm not a toy girl. And...
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Go on.
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I've gone there.
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No, I was just going to say, people like to throw my toys out.
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Oh.
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They get territorial.
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We had the conversation.
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There was one in the box that hadn't been opened.
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Oh, grow up.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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My new thing.
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I want to get that printed on a hat.
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uh yeah grow up
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so i'm not i'm not a toy girl really have you
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you've tried it oh yeah i have okay that's fine
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so fine we've started off oh actually no no no no
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but should we should we scale it back i actually want to talk about toys
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and porn though you've touched on actually two topics
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that i think are actually very interesting so important and something
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that i i don't want to um go against because obviously it's
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so important when you're figuring out what you like and don't like
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and you know porn's used and toys are used
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but i do think that the exposure to porn and the amount
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that people are using toys are making them less less sensitive to being sexually aroused
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or satisfied okay yeah what i mean by that is yeah i've heard
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that yeah no it's actually a thing like scientifically where you think about it
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if you're desensitized down there sure so over overuse of toys and
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that vibration i genuinely think fucks your clit yeah yeah your
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little clitty your little bean is getting overused over work
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and it's like it's damaging nerve endings right
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and i that's why i've actually been against them for a
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while because i'm like i want to come
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and i want i want it to feel good for me every time
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so i'm like why would i bust my being yep you know, an overworker.
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And then the other thing with porn is people are basically not finding things as sexy in person or amateur porn.
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And needing to watch something to get off.
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Yeah, which is overexposed in my opinion.
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It needs to stop.
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I agree.
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Bless you, Tully.
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Our producers sneezed like 17 times.
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She's an incubus of viral plague.
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I know.
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Yeah, so I think that those two, if you're overusing them, please scale back.
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I agree.
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I'm all for exploring it initially and whatnot.
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But please, my advice before we get into what's good is pull that right back.
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Okay?
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Because your girl doesn't struggle to cum and I don't overuse either of the two.
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I think just throw the vibrator in the bin and go for the little blowy sucky thing.
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I don't think that's as bad on the clit.
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Genuinely.
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it's like the illusion of someone going down you
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but it's just there's no there's no vibration it's not like
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fucking gonna turn you it numb you know god i feel like it'd like be like giving yourself a hickey
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but down there it's not
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that hard it's very gentle you can turn it up of course
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but like depends what you're into yeah all right i there's
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so much to talk about really like i had some questions for you
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that what prompted me wanting to even have this conversation tell me is
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when we were away sarah asked me the question was it i said
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when you have sex with a girl do both of you have to come for it to be called sex
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or does i like if great only one person comes is
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that still sex see i thought
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that was a fantastic question i want to know shan's response first yeah i think lesbian sex, if only one of you is coming, what are you even doing?
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The point, the point, not the point.
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That's, I mean, it's not the point.
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Cause there are some people out there.
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Fuck, I'm going to get in trouble for this.
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There are some people out there who are stone tops and don't want to be touched and that's on them.
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But I'm talking from people who have, who have come from a relationship where men tend to just want to pump and dump and then,
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all right, good night.
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See you later.
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And not worry if you finish or not, which I'm not saying that happened in my relationship, but I'm saying a lot of a lot of like that's
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a lot of that's a case a lot of the time
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oh i'll give you a stat do you know lesbian relationships are 20 percent more likely
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that both people are coming during sex every time compared to hetero 100 20
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that seems really low to me
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but yeah it's like it's like 60 claim in a hetero
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and 80 something percent in a lesbian relationship become an heir to arm
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so i'm saying however probably a lot of the percentage of
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that is made up of the people that don't want to be touched
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that don't want to come whatever um
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but i think in my words the point as i was saying of lesbians is
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that you want to make each other come that is
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that is the beauty of it that is the pleasure of it
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because you both know what you want and you can both give
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that to each other i agree you know my my response
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to sarah at the time was great question firstly no 100
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i've got another question already oh here we go pump them out sarah okay tessie but so i said
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I 100% think that I would label it as I've had sex with someone if we both come.
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Oh, sorry.
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I didn't ask the question.
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If I just make the other person come, I would say I fucked them.
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You fucked them.
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It was not sex.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And if they make me come, they fucked me.
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Yeah.
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We didn't have sex.
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However, put it in a situation of like cheating, right?
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Let's say cheating, okay?
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Okay.
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So it's like you're cheating on your partner and this is completely fucking, this is a made up story
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that I'm just using for the podcast right this didn't happen um for the purpose of this conversation yeah
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so you got found out that you cheated on your partner
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and you were in bed with this person you made this other person come they didn't make you come
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but you made them come still cheating
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because it was still sex oh a hundred percent so when you look at it that way
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you're in bed with someone you someone's touching someone
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but yeah okay do you know what i mean i still
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think that's just like oh well i actually the other question was what do i consider lesbian sex
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and i said
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if i've made the other person come then i fucked them that's what i mean by that
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but lesbian sex is also touching yeah a hundred percent you
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can make them come via hands by your mouth i don't
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even think they have to come for it to be considered sex That can be your label.
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And that's the thing with lesbian sex, guys.
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Everyone that I speak to has a different definition of what they consider sex, so it depends, it's up to you what you want to consider it being.
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I don't think there's a right or wrong
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when it comes to lesbian sex is what's considered it does
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not need to involve penetration no absolutely it doesn't at all I how I make it a blanket rule
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so it's easier as if again
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if someone comes I come we come together we've had sex right yeah well now
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that you put it
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that way I'm just no no it's fair can I just say sex with a girl is just
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so much more intimate in general like I don't know how
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to explain other than it just feels better in every shape or form.
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It feels more intimate.
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So, like, if a girl does anything, it's, like, so much more exciting and memorable than when a guy does.
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100%.
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Guys, I have a question for you.
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Do you find kissing very intimate?
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Oh!
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Like, kissing to me is more intimate than, like, sex.
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Not sex, but, like.
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So you take a digit in the vagina but you wouldn't kiss someone?
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No. I'm not saying.
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No, actually.
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Well, I mean, I think a digit in the vagina is, yeah, it's sexy, but like I don't know what it is,
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an open mouth kiss. With tongue.
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Oh, yeah.
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Don't say just open mouth because that kind of thing.
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No, that's not a thing.
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Yeah.
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No, a tongue kiss is so sexual, no?
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Oh, let's make it inside of you it wasn't.
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Not that one.
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That was rape in the mouth.
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That was mouth rape.
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No, I'm talking.
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No, I agree.
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I think making out.
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I don't know what it gives me tinkles thinking about it.
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I think it's the intention behind the kiss.
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I think kisses can be super passionate and things like that.
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Oh, for sure i've had some kisses and i'm like holy what is
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that yeah like i just want to sit and make out yeah
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because i'm like oh my god yeah i agree sorry i just had to get
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that out there sometimes like i'll be in such a rush
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and gene will come and like want to make out with me
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and i'm just like don't stick your tongue in my mouth
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because we can't go anywhere if
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that happens like i it does things to me it's bad
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okay it just it works me up it's my god yeah it was a lot
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so i'm just like give me a peck and see you later
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because that's kind of otherwise yeah okay just gets me going Let's take a step back
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and answer maybe the more general questions that I've probably been asked previously, but even new ones that I'm happy to answer here straight off.
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But, yeah, let's get into, like, more generalized questions.
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It doesn't necessarily need to be about lesbians.
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I think that in regards to sex, I think a lot of people are always talking about the amount
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and how much they have it and all of the good things.
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No one's sitting there in their fucking group chat being like, oh, my sex life is dead.
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So I think everybody's comparing.
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I mean, are you?
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Is anyone doing that?
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Well, that's what I was going to say to you guys, because I know our group chat, and when we're out with our girls, we talk about sex.
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Do you guys all talk about sex?
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We talk about sex, but are you ever being like, oh, yeah, I haven't had sex in like fucking six weeks?
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Okay, so people do.
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I just think a lot of people aren't open enough about it.
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Everyone wants to make it they're very open.
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We talk about sex too much.
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Are your friends open?
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I want to know.
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We need the good balance.
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Can I answer, though?
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The girls are answering from the street.
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lens and their friends are in hetero relationships
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which i feel like is spoken about a lot more
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because it's like a this is a notion that
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if you're married you lose sex over time yeah yeah yeah
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and it's so much more normalized whereas lesbians i feel like have an ego about them yeah
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and would never want to admit
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that they're not having exactly where i'm coming from yeah as much sex yeah it's not something
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that i feel like they're as forthcoming with information whereas Because, yeah, wives are like, what the fuck?
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Or men are just like, not enough.
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Yep.
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No, I agree completely.
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I think you have to put a hetero lens on this and a lesbian lens on this.
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Just a general lens.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Then how much sex is normal in a long-term relationship?
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Is this how much sex would I want to be normal?
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No, we all know you'd fuck three times a day if you had the fucking choice.
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Daily would be my...
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She was trying to work her work schedule around her sex.
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She was just saying, what job can I get that I can work around?
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That's what she was saying.
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I just said, like, because someone said, who's got time to have sex three times a day?
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I'm like, I would make sure my day was planned around.
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We might need to go get you diagnosed.
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But I can easily sit here and not be a sex fiend.
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Like, if I don't have anyone I want to have sex with, I can sit by myself and not go out and just cause chaos.
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I'm controlled.
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I'm changed.
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But if I am in love with someone.
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Yeah.
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The corner of the coffee table.
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Yeah.
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Good times.
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She didn't actually fuck the corner of the coffee table.
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How much sex is normal?
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I still think as a general rule, three to four times a week.
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I was going to say every day because I thought that was going to come out your mouth.
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It's not normal.
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You want it every day.
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I would want it every day.
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But what I think is feasible and actually sustainable is three times minimum to four times.
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I think it really is person dependent.
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Men and women, it doesn't matter.
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It's the situation you're in.
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It's their sex drive.
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It's your sex drive.
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It's the thing you've got going on in your life.
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Okay.
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If we generalize it, if I look back to when I was with men and in long-term relationships with men,
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I think I lasted at most with a man like two years. That was my longest.
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And then I was obviously three years in a previous relationship with a girl.
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uh i still was never having less sex than three times
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a week right the only time i'd have like a week where we couldn't is because
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if someone had surgery like i'm meeting like how many surgeries
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was you guys having oh i don't know i'm just saying
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like that's the only reason why it wouldn't be a minimum of three times a week
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and this is like three years into the relationship like still
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going still going i i didn't find a dip in any of mine guy
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or girl to be honest personally did you find that
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because you were with like you you've been in longer term
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relationships right i'm gonna come across like an absolute fiend on this episode
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and i don't mind
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that like i don't actually care how it's perceived i'm not actually a sex addict despite what we think uh
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but why i think sex is so important for me
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and why i actively choose to want it and to have it
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and to make sure it's something that's still very prominent in my relationships is
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because that intimacy to me brings us back to each other yeah it is something
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that i feel like makes me feel really connected to my
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partner it makes me feel less stressed more connected like we're on the same page it it adds this level
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that one makes it a relationship and not a friendship 100 right
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and and two it's something that genuinely as beings
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if we go back to caveman shit like we all need
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to be right it's just something that's innate in us i
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think it's healthy i think it's something we should be doing
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but it is something that i find a relationship always brings me closer to my partner
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so i want that level of intimacy with them
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because that's what i crave that's what I love and it's something that almost hits reset on just bringing us back.
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Yeah.
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You know, despite what's going on in our lives and despite what's happening in the chaos and all that.
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So what I'm explaining is it's something that I've always kept important in my relationship, which is why it's never dipped below three times a week
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and it's something that I will make sure it happens even if I'm not in the mood.
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I know I'm going to feel better for it after.
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I know it'll bring us close together.
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I will get in the mood.
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Do you ever feel like you have to beg the other person for it? we know
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that that's where you stand but how do you how how did you go navigating them
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if they weren't in the mood that's a really good question were you begging like how was
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that how did that feel yeah that's a really good question because
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if i had to beg for it i actually think i'd
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die like i i that'd be like the biggest form of rejection for me
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and i don't know if i'd handle that very well
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so i think i can have partners who aren't on the
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same level as like oh okay really wanting it every day yeah
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which is so fine but i i don't think i'd ever want to beg for it
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so like it's been a conversation where you know
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if they're like oh i just find
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that i'm too busy in this day like it
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and you like you said every second day
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if they're making time every second i'm like yeah perfect like we find
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that middle ground where i still feel like i'm connected to them
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that i'm not losing that and they still feel like it's maintainable
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and sustainable so i feel like i just have a conversation
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but if they straight up were like to me i don't want to have sex yeah i i cannot with
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that absolute deal breaker it's the beginning of the end it
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is someone ever rejected me i could i would it's
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because it's because to them even
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if it is well i just don't want to have sex
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to me that's making an effort that's a bigger issue yeah the fact
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that you don't and if you don't want to have sex with your partner
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and want to be
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that connected with them i actually believe you're not with the right person for sure especially
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if especially if it's
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that other person who's making the effort it's not even like
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you have to be like i've got to get off my ass
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and go initiate if that
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if your partner is sitting in front of you telling you
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let's i want to have sex with you i'm going to be intimate with you
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and you're still to their face being like too tired gotta
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get up early that's a problem the other thing is i've spoken to girls
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and i know girls previously who don't
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or haven't been able to come with guys during sex yep
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if i wasn't coming and i had to put in all
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that work it'd feel like a job yeah right like i would not look forward to it
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so i would avoid it right yeah but then again i also know
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that with the right person who can you know invest in
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you wants to make you feel good wants to make you
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understand how yep it doesn't become a job it's not become something you genuinely look forward to
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and you feel better after right
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and then I just look at it like you know
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so many girls say like what's the point yeah no shit what is the point
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if I wasn't coming I'd be like why am I gonna do it yeah
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and that's why I find sex with women uh
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and I'm obviously still generalizing but from my experience
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and what women have told me it doesn't feel like a chore yeah they actually look forward to it
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because it feels like less work it feels enjoyable the whole experience from start to finish even
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if you're the one giving it's fun Mm-hmm.
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Right?
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Completely agree.
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Yeah.
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So I do think from that lens we have that upper hand and I would look forward to it every single time.
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There's never a time where I'd be, oh, would you be happy to be woken up in the middle of the night?
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Absolutely.
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Yeah.
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Brush your teeth and give me a minute or something, but like don't come out with me with fucking dirty breath.
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Thanks.
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Shannon's OCD has been clearing lately, by the way, guys.
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I feel so sorry for G, but she gets it now.
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Yeah.
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So going off the back of that, you guys have never faked an orgasm with a girl?
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Not with a girl.
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Never.
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Oh, yeah.
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Is it okay for someone to fake an orgasm in a relationship?
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Not in my opinion.
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I can say that in my relationship with women, relationships that I've had, I've never faked an orgasm.
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In people that I weren't in relationships with, that I slept with, yes.
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I just don't...
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I just don't know why I'd cry wolf.
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Then they're going to think whatever they're doing.
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100% is great and I'm just going to keep going.
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Whatever they did that they thought made me cum, they're going to keep doing it even though it doesn't feel good.
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I would not want to encourage that.
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And that's on that person, right?
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Don't do that.
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You don't need to try and rush it either.
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You need to be comfortable in yourself to know
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that they can take however long they need to take to make you cum because that is what you're there for.
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It doesn't need need to be a i mean look
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if you're if you've got to go to work
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or whatever i think just i don't know
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if it's better to be like i gotta go or
497
if it's better to just end it
498
and fake it i don't know i wouldn't i don't know okay
499
so i'm all about transparency and just being honest i think i am too right
500
so i would be like sorry but i can't
501
so one is like why would you want even
502
if you're not dating them why would you want
503
that person to think they oh i don't care i just want to come out of me
504
and my house see i i believe that there's
505
so many reasons why someone might not be able to come what
506
if you're in a long-term relationship
507
and they're not doing it for you like there needs to be conversation you need to tell them yeah so that's
508
so that's what i where the honesty i think comes into
509
it where i'd be like hey i'm i don't think i'm going to get there
510
because of x y and z you reassure your partner
511
and say it's nothing against you if it's not because
512
that would be a form of that'd be hard a hard pill for me to swallow right well
513
if they're shit they need to be told okay that's not
514
what i'm saying they're shit it might be the person who can't come for whatever reason
515
because it's a mental game coming coming is a mental game on them you need to communicate
516
that yes correct and that's what i'm saying so i'm explaining
517
that like i would just be like hey i can't i don't think i'm gonna get there today because of this
518
i'd expect them to be able to take
519
that on the chin as well and be like okay
520
and then you make it a conversation
521
when you're out of the situation to be like is there
522
something i can do to make it it better for you is there something
523
because there's always something that you can do
524
but have you had to have these conversations me personally no
525
but but but hang on not
526
that i've i've not i've not been able to not come
527
for me personally have you not nah i'm actually really trying to go back
528
and i don't think i've ever had a situation where
529
have i not have you shan i faked it how many times have you faked it
530
like a lot like i'm guessing all the time no not
531
all the time there was definitely great times yeah yeah
532
but a lot like over 20 yeah god i almost want you to do it now
533
because you would fucking be like a pro out there Yeah.
534
That's great.
535
No, but I also feel like they weren't, they didn't, it's almost like they didn't know me well enough to know that it was fake.
536
See, I would know if a girl's fake it.
537
That's what I'm saying.
538
And that's where you really know that they're your person.
539
When they pull you up and be like, are you for real?
540
What are you doing?
541
As a girl as well, I will know if you're faking it.
542
I will know.
543
How?
544
Give people clues because they want to know now if their girlfriend or boyfriend, if a guy's listening, if their girlfriend,
545
faking it oh you know depends on which uh which which way you're taking it but if you're inside
546
exactly if i have something inside you
547
the way the vagina contracts and and and pulsates
548
and does all the things that it does before you come yeah you know
549
and every girl's got their own little quirks with how whatever before
550
but you you can't you can't fake
551
that you can't heart rate is another one it's not up you know they're They're not horny at all.
552
Yeah.
553
They're not about to come.
554
Yeah.
555
There's a lot of telltale signs, to be fair.
556
You also should know if it's like, if your girl takes a while or you're a man.
557
Well, we're talking about men here.
558
Yeah, we can talk about men.
559
Men fake it too. Can they?
560
If they're, yeah.
561
Oh, no, because they can't come.
562
They do.
563
I forgot about that.
564
It's been a while.
565
They can pretend if they've got a condom on to just like wrap it quickly.
566
And then chuck it.
567
Okay.
568
Well, look, we'll tell you a girl.
569
But if they're known to take a while and then it all of a sudden just happens,
570
I don't really know if it's the same technique you're using all the time
571
and today it happens in three seconds and it usually takes like five minutes.
572
I think that's a telltale sign of faking it.
573
I don't think that's – I'm pretty consistent in the way that I come and it's not three seconds.
574
You're quick, aren't you?
575
Haven't you told me that before?
576
I feel like the wind could blow in a certain direction.
577
Yeah, that's wild.
578
That's so crazy.
579
It's not that easy, but God, it's really not that hard.
580
I wouldn't say I've got a specific way every time.
581
Yeah, no. I'm not like you.
582
I'm not.
583
Yeah.
584
Interesting.
585
Next question.
586
Is scheduling sex depressing or actually genius?
587
So you, would you know about this?
588
Because your schedule is quite open.
589
However, you did have a full-time job.
590
I had a full-time job.
591
I was working like four different jobs at one stage.
592
So, no, I was very time poor at one stage.
593
And you were in a full-blown relationship at this point?
594
Mm-hmm.
595
And you were still obviously finding time however many days a week.
596
You said that was happening.
597
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
598
Still got to find the time.
599
Right.
600
It was a bit more literal around conversations.
601
I do also feel like I'm the type of person that if I went for a few days without,
602
I just feel like I'd go a bit crazy.
603
Mm-hmm.
604
Like I'm a lot nicer person if I'm having it a bit more regularly.
605
So like I do feel like it's something that I'm mindful of if I'm going, if I know we're going to be busy, if I know we're going to have too many things on,
606
even though I do think scheduling sex is a little bit depressing, but I do, I would still throw out there saying, well, we better make sure we have sex because I know that this is coming, whatever.
607
I wouldn't do it and then like lead into it like that.
608
But like it's like a conversation of like, yeah, we have a lot coming up, you know.
609
you could look at it
610
that way you could also look at it from the lens of it's like the anticipation of knowing
611
that it's like happening tonight
612
or whatever would just get you i don't know i don't
613
think it's depressing i don't think it's depressing um have i
614
ever had to schedule i mean it's never been like next week this day this day like no
615
but like if i know that it's gonna be flat out
616
and we've only got this like little time frame and i love a quickie get ready yeah Love a quickie.
617
Love a bit of pressure.
618
Yeah, I do.
619
Just sort of a question while you were talking about that.
620
I can't remember what sex ex, but maybe Esther Perel or something.
621
But, and you said about the anticipation, the foreplay difference between men and girls.
622
Oh, my God.
623
Female sex, like lesbian sex is like pure foreplay basically the whole time and it's amazing.
624
That's how I look at it.
625
What do you mean by that?
626
Well, I mean, you're basically doing all the things that guys think
627
that they have to do for like five seconds before they shove it in.
628
Yeah.
629
Girls do for, well, can do for hours.
630
In saying that it's like one big foreplay, we need to make sure that people know, or not know, but we want to teach them.
631
Navigate it.
632
We want to help them navigate, right?
633
They're going to be hearing our voice in their head next time they're doing shit.
634
You're welcome.
635
So, what you have to do is...
636
is that is that asmr yeah no just stop doing
637
that um look it is one big foreplay but i also think
638
that like because you because we don't have much more than
639
that you have to like tease them a little bit
640
and lead in very slowly yeah i agree so
641
if you want to please your woman this is what you
642
have to do let's give them a play-by-play we know we're going out for dinner we're getting ready okay
643
the uber comes if that's the way you want to go
644
but i like my woman to be the driver i like to be a passenger princess
645
so i'm usually the driver
646
so we can are you okay right we're in the car
647
we've got the playlist on we're on the way to the restaurant there's the hand on the leg up
648
and down back of the neck oh i like
649
that you know yeah looking into each other's eyes yes i get really giddy
650
so i'll probably just chuck out a fucking really lame fucking like so lame
651
so lame we know she can fake it
652
so i can imagine it's not even i look at her
653
and i just i just get giddy right
654
so that's that's me okay we pull up to the restaurant she opens the door
655
or in your case you open the door big dick over here um okay
656
and we get into the restaurant we sit down all right
657
what happens at the restaurant i'm flirting with my partner i'm making them feel good about themselves
658
because i feel like that's a big important part give them
659
eyes keep flirting with them tell them how beautiful they look tell them how sexy they look whatever you know gets
660
gets them happy and excited say it do it from the start from dinner right
661
so we had dinner we were telling each other how beautiful
662
we are you make them feel good make them feel good
663
stroke their ego stroke their leg under the table take your flick your little shoe off
664
and give them a little what is
665
that called toesies footsies have a little bit of footsies i hate feet
666
so i would never don't even try
667
that with me okay she knows um i would imagine
668
and we've eaten what are we up to
669
so we've to leave the restaurant right same deal be a
670
gentle woman help her out help her into the car sexy music on
671
but this the music's amped up this time it's like it's
672
the sex playlist does anyone have a sex playlist i don't
673
i don't i don't know this story about my sex yeah
674
because i don't know how i feel about sex why i
675
don't know what are you listening to like i i there can be music there It cannot be music.
676
It doesn't really matter to me.
677
Fair.
678
But like my playlists are just so all over the place that if I put one on fucking, I'm going up, fucking K-pop's going to come on mid-sex.
679
I'm like, I'm not putting that one on.
680
I have to have a curated playlist that's like smooth.
681
Anyway, it was called fucking sex playlist, right?
682
It's flat out.
683
Original.
684
You know how Spotify comes up on your TV?
685
I had guests over that were not the guests that you want to see your sex playlist on the television.
686
And it was fucking on the television.
687
Anyway, that's my story.
688
That's, yeah.
689
That would happen to so many people.
690
I assume.
691
So this time you amp up the music.
692
The original music in the car was just quite light.
693
It's getting heavier.
694
It's getting heavier.
695
You want to set the scene.
696
You almost want to mind fuck them with the words in the music because then that gets them horny.
697
Do you know what I mean?
698
Oh, so you're subliminal messaging your person.
699
Absolutely.
700
Oh, okay.
701
No?
702
I mean, not really a tactic I use, to be honest, but sure.
703
because it's like that movie.
704
What's that movie?
705
It's like focus.
706
It's all subliminal.
707
This sounds really calculated.
708
I'm just thinking of anything right now.
709
You guys think I'm the gaslighter.
710
This bitch is gaslighting them into the evening they want to fuck.
711
I'm genuinely making this up on the spot.
712
This scenario has never happened to me.
713
All right, so I'm just thinking of what sounds good.
714
All right, so we get there.
715
You've subliminally mind fucked them and you're home.
716
You're on the couch.
717
I feel like you have to start on the couch.
718
If you're not in a full-blown relationship, yeah, and you're not going straight to the bed.
719
Yeah, correct.
720
I feel like you're getting comfortable.
721
You're settling in.
722
You might chuck something on the TV.
723
You might continue the conversation.
724
And you've got to get close on the couch.
725
Yeah.
726
Right?
727
Oh, yeah.
728
There's no sitting on opposite ends and just looking at each other like, you know.
729
Yeah, proximity is actually really important.
730
It's key.
731
Even when you're at the restaurant.
732
Restaurant, bring them closer.
733
If you can sit like next to them.
734
I've got that part.
735
Yeah, and touch them, do that.
736
Absolutely.
737
So then when you're at home, don't sit on one side of the room don't do that.
738
Sit close.
739
And don't sit close to where you're like sitting next to each other.
740
You almost want to put like a leg up, put in it and just sort of, you need to be, you need to be in close.
741
Lean in towards, there's one tip for you.
742
The leg needs to be towards them.
743
If there's ever a leg outwards, they don't want you.
744
Yes.
745
That's a fact.
746
Body language is important.
747
If they've got their arms crossed, if they're, like, facing away from you, maybe reassess the situation.
748
Yes.
749
So legs want to be crossed in towards each other.
750
You want to be touching.
751
You want to be close.
752
You almost, yeah.
753
Did you ever do the triangle method where you look at eyes, like, look at one eye, look at the other eye, look at lips, look at the other?
754
No. I didn't know that was a thing until someone did it on me.
755
It works. Does it?
756
It actually works.
757
I've never personally done it, but it's just like literally one eye, the other eye, lips.
758
Just continuous.
759
It's just a triangle and you just do continuous.
760
I'd be like, are you all right?
761
Nah.
762
Not like literally.
763
But like, you know, that like whole and then.
764
Nah, I wouldn't get it.
765
It would go right over my head.
766
Worked on me.
767
That's good.
768
There's a tip for you people because i didn't know
769
that one it is a method just do it slowly
770
because otherwise you look like you yeah don't dart your eyes in the sun uh what we're up to
771
so you're on the couch you're getting cozy touching needs to happen
772
but i think it needs to happen subtly yeah right it's
773
not just like pan straight on the upper thigh that's like
774
your thumbs in their crutch it needs to like happen lightly lightly
775
and further away so that you have time
776
and yeah i think it needs happens slowly i'm just actually trying to remember the first time
777
that this happened i know i know it's i'm trying to go back on my memory bank
778
and it's hard we were in bed i usually banter a lot like
779
so my band are like you're like you're fun i i
780
i will tie something in like usually from what we've joked
781
about earlier usually the other person's nervous that's like an like a normal thing
782
I actually remember a while back and one of my lines was,
783
because this person had come on to me very forward, very intensely like at the start.
784
And then when we were in a situation where we were at my house and on the couch, they seemed nervous.
785
And I kind of gave them shit being like, oh, is this gay panic? Is it?
786
Like are you a little stressed?
787
and then I made a comment like where's the big dick energy now
788
and then I said how about I show you this time
789
and then I did it that's hot yeah
790
so I'm I think I must do it more with my words
791
and my banter than I do physically touching you're good with your words
792
that makes sense yeah I'm a cunnilingus so that's your tongue but okay yeah a cunning lingus
793
i did not get that that's great you should have found your bio i'm a cunning lingus
794
so i've just remembered the way that i did it with g
795
and obviously we had met on the day
796
and then we'd gone on dates at dinner
797
but we'd never actually spent the time in
798
that like at the house together and when we did
799
and i'm talking the first the first time
800
that we got intimate not just the times we were sitting on the couch
801
and fell asleep on the couch after i'd finished to work
802
or whatever like because there was those times but the first time
803
that it was in bed so i can't really i can't really this isn't
804
that story so you're on the couch you're taking it slow
805
and then i just think
806
if it doesn't come from there they're not open to it simple i feel like there's
807
that leaning thing where you go to lean
808
if they're like kind of coming at you as well just
809
go for it go for a long passionate kiss please use tongue i don't know why
810
that needs to be told
811
but it does yeah you want to use tongue you don't
812
just want to go straight in with tongue i think there's a horror stories about
813
that but then there's also horror stories about not using tongue at all
814
i just think make out with them yeah right using tongue doesn't mean pick them and then
815
oh it gets hot and heavy from it does get hot
816
and heavy from there i know i'm getting flashbacks
817
and i'm like remembering it does get hot and heavy from there yeah
818
but i think what women do really well with other women is
819
that they drag it out it's not like you're getting to the point
820
because they enjoy the whole experience women like all women know how to drag it out
821
because it's not it's not true i think the way the
822
best way to do it is to drag it out yes not everybody knows
823
that yeah we recommend i get the out so
824
that means he's a lot of touching everywhere on the body
825
doesn't need to be there how good is being touched sorry underrated completely miss
826
that point i don't think they care i mean i'm sure everyone likes you know a massage here
827
and there but or being touched
828
but i don't know what it is yeah i think we
829
have more points do you know what do you know what actually gets me going
830
or like if i like a shoulder rub is that what you're No, like if someone's like tickles.
831
So if we're like lying in bed or like something and I start tickling or someone starts tickling, we are fucking.
832
100%.
833
We are fucking.
834
100%.
835
No, I completely agree.
836
So yes, don't underestimate a little touch.
837
A little touch, a little tickle.
838
But yeah, I think drag it out as long as possible.
839
What do we mean by that is make out with them.
840
Touch their body.
841
Don't just go straight for the vagina.
842
You've got to tease around it.
843
because do you know how many nerve endings are around, not just in the one spot they run things?
844
A lot.
845
So make sure you're doing – okay, I don't know what to do.
846
I like the little – I like the, like, the walking around the – I'm not just talking about the clit or the nerve endings or the vagina.
847
I'm talking about, like, up the legs, around the thighs, up the side before you touch the nipple.
848
Like there's so many ways to tease.
849
And that actually, what was the stat that we said before of the lady that there was a study, which I don't know what the study was and I don't know the stats for it.
850
But I just know that it exists.
851
You can look it up if you want to.
852
They put a whole people, a bunch of people in a room, did a study on them.
853
And the people who had longer foreplay and more teasing before you just went straight in and their partner made them come,
854
experienced the better orgasm and actually came quicker than the people who just went straight in with no foreplay,
855
no excitement, none of that.
856
And what people don't know as well, you know how you can obviously come two different ways, clit simulation or G-spot penetration, right?
857
girls don't understand and a lot of guys don't
858
that internally the g-spot there yes it's always there obviously
859
but only when a female's aroused does it swell up
860
and become more sensitive to the point where you're able to actually make a girl come
861
so you need to make sure she's actually aroused enough before that's actually able to happen
862
and otherwise that you drag that out the better
863
that come is agree right yep if you didn't know yeah teasing
864
and touching the two t's i reckon we do a bit of quick fire yeah
865
because there's so much to cover on sex so let's just And we've been going for a while.
866
We could sit here all day, I fear.
867
Oh, well, we love a tease.
868
We do love a tease.
869
Sex with the lights on or off? On. On.
870
I want to see everything.
871
On, but like dim.
872
Nobody likes this fucking shit.
873
No, yeah.
874
Give me some lamps.
875
Give me some candle light.
876
I've got my LED smart lights.
877
LEDs, red.
878
Red is sexy.
879
Get some red LEDs.
880
Let's go, baby.
881
Morning or night?
882
Oh, both.
883
Night.
884
Oh, both, both, both.
885
Unless you brush your teeth in the morning.
886
Oh, my God.
887
Anyway, don't listen to Shannon and work both.
888
Music or silence?
889
Music.
890
Don't care.
891
It's not an option.
892
You have to pick one.
893
Planned or spontaneous?
894
Spontaneous.
895
Spontaneous if there's a preference, yeah.
896
Long or quick?
897
You love a quickie.
898
I love both.
899
That's hard.
900
I don't know.
901
Long if I, yeah, long.
902
Makeup sex, hot or toxic?
903
Hot.
904
Toxic.
905
Hot.
906
Of course you'd think that.
907
It's hot.
908
Sex on a first day?
909
No. I'm a three date wait.
910
Remember I said that in one of the episodes?
911
I personally haven't done it.
912
Shower sex, overrated?
913
You tell us, Sarah.
914
I love shower sex.
915
Overrated or what?
916
Underrated.
917
I do like it.
918
No, not overrated.
919
I do like it, but one person always does get more cold
920
and the other person gets a lot of water in the mouth.
921
It has to be on hair wash day because I'm not wearing a fucking shower cap.
922
Do you wear a shower cap?
923
I have to.
924
I only wash my hair once a week.
925
Fuck that.
926
Oh, my God.
927
Yeah.
928
Would you want to know your partner's body count?
929
Sure.
930
I don't care.
931
Yeah.
932
I would want to know, I suppose, yeah.
933
But I don't care.
934
It doesn't matter.
935
This isn't sex-specific, but better to be sexually compatible or emotionally compatible. If it's me.
936
I know who the fucking answer.
937
Emotionally.
938
I think they tie into each other.
939
I think you can't be sexual.
940
I can't be sexual with someone unless I'm emotionally compatible.
941
Correct.
942
I agree with that.
943
So, yeah, they're both important.
944
Initiating or being initiated? Being initiated.
945
I love when they initiate, yeah.
946
Talking during sex, yes or no?
947
No. Yes.
948
Cuddling after sex.
949
Yes!
950
Yeah, of course.
951
I need it.
952
I have a thing and she just knows she has to get right on top of me after.
953
Well, this is a lot.
954
Sorry, guys.
955
I'm just too comfortable here.
956
She, like, needs to lie to me and hug me so hard because I just need to be regulated.
957
Ever been caught?
958
Yes.
959
Yeah.
960
Is lesbian bed death real?
961
I don't think so.
962
No, I don't think bed death is the word.
963
I don't think it's dependent on sexuality.
964
I think it's the people in the relationship who make the bed death happen.
965
Who has better sex, lesbians or straight couples?
966
Lesbians.
967
I'm going to say lesbians.
968
Sorry.
969
Do lesbians move too fast emotionally?
970
Probably.
971
Yeah.
972
It's inevitable.
973
Yeah.
974
Two women, you can't help it.
975
Can you be genuinely platonic with someone you've slept with?
976
Yes.
977
Yeah.
978
A hundred and twenty-five million fucking percent.
979
I cannot express it enough.
980
Especially the men.
981
Yeah, well, even women.
982
Like, yeah, I definitely think you can.
983
One sex question you would never answer publicly.
984
None.
985
I'm an open book.
986
Literally.
987
Have you ever caught someone else having sex?
988
No. Yes.
989
You have?
990
Yeah.
991
God.
992
Oh, my God.
993
No, I watched the whole thing from...
994
It wasn't like I caught them.
995
I was basically involved.
996
Was that that really bad one that it was pubic bone on pubic bone?
997
It's only been that one? That one?
998
Never.
999
Here's a tip for us on this sex episode.
1000
Don't rub pubic bones.
1001
Don't smack pubic bones.
1002
Don't smack pubic bones.
1003
You need to do a tutorial on how to scissor because that ain't it.
1004
Oh, scissoring is a thing.
1005
Please.
1006
Yeah, we didn't speak about scissoring at all what the fuck sort of lesbians are we?
1007
I know, I love it.
1008
I have a question for you.
1009
Okay.
1010
Because we need to wrap this one up.
1011
Yeah.
1012
I think I would really like to know and the people would really like to know, have you slept with anyone in the last couple of weeks slash months?
1013
Thank you so much for joining, guys, for another really good episode.
1014
I love you guys.
1015
You pussy.
1016
Thank you, guys.
1017
We love you.
1018
Don't forget to subscribe and like and do all the things and share because someone might need to hear this.
1019
And touch everywhere.
1020
Touch it.
1021
Tease it.
1022
And if you guys have any more questions, we've finally got the voice note recorder up and running.
1023
So you can leave us a voice note message.
1024
We'll have it on our bio on Insta.
1025
We'll link it.
1026
But I want to hear what your questions are because we want to answer more of them.
1027
And we can help you.
1028
That's what we're here for, babies.
1029
Anytime.
1030
Okay.
1031
Thank you.
1032
Love you.
1033
Bye.
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Từ vựng và ghi chú luyện nói cho bài học này
Bài luyện nói trình độ B1 này dựa trên video “Are Lesbians Actually Having Better Sex?”. Video này có 1030 câu và 9188 từ để luyện shadowing. Phần lời nói dài 45:38. Người nói nói nhanh, khoảng 201 từ mỗi phút, nên sẽ có nhiều chỗ nối âm và nuốt âm. 85% số từ nằm trong 3.000 từ tiếng Anh thông dụng nhất; phần còn lại nên xem trước khi luyện.
Từ vựng quan trọng trong video
15 từ khó nhất trong video, kèm phiên âm và nghĩa:
| Từ | Phiên âm | Nghĩa |
|---|---|---|
| lesbian danh từ | /ˈlɛz.bi.ən/ | người đồng tính nữ |
| vagina danh từ | /vəˈdʒaɪ.nə/ | âm đạo, lồn |
| couch danh từ | /ˈkaʊ̯t͡ʃ/ | đi văng, đi-văng |
| notebook danh từ | /ˈnoʊtˌbʊk/ | tập, vở |
| lens danh từ | /lɛnz/ | thấu kính |
| toy danh từ | /tɔɪ/ | đồ chơi |
| orgasm danh từ | /ˈoɹ.ɡæ.zəm/ | cực khoái |
| cheat động từ | /ˈt͡ʃiːt/ | gian lận, bịp |
| compatible tính từ | /kəmˈpæt.ə.bəl/ | tương thích, tương hợp |
| nerve danh từ | /nɝv/ | thần kinh |
| explore động từ | /ɪkˈsploɹ/ | thám hiểm |
| cunning tính từ | /ˈkʌnɪŋ/ | xảo quyệt, xảo trá |
| generalize động từ | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.(ə.)ɹə.laɪz/ | nói chung chung |
| tickle động từ | /ˈtɪkl̩/ | cù, cù lét |
| vibration danh từ | /vaɪˈbɹeɪʃən/ | rung động |
Cụm động từ bạn sẽ nghe
| Từ | Nghĩa |
|---|---|
| get up động từ | dậy |
| go back động từ | trở lại |
| go out động từ | ra, chết |
| go up động từ | lên |
| sit down động từ | ngồi xuống, ngồi |
Những câu đáng luyện lại
Các câu ngắn, trọn ý trong video mà bạn có thể dùng lại khi giao tiếp hằng ngày:
- You know what I mean?
- Is that like your earliest memory of that?
- Haven't you told me that before?
- I'd be like, are you all right?
- Would you want to know your partner's body count?
Ngữ pháp trong video
Những cấu trúc người nói dùng nhiều nhất, kèm đúng cụm từ trong video:
| Cấu trúc | Trong video |
|---|---|
| Câu điều kiện if + mệnh đề, will/would + động từ — điều kiện và kết quả | if I wasn't coming I'd be · if you're not dating them why would you |
| Thì hiện tại hoàn thành tiếp diễn have/has been + -ing — việc bắt đầu từ trước và vẫn đang tiếp tục | has been clearing · we've been going |
| Thì hiện tại hoàn thành have/has + quá khứ phân từ — việc đã xảy ra nhưng còn liên quan đến hiện tại | I've spoken · we've even joked · I've been |
| Câu bị động be + quá khứ phân từ — nhấn vào việc xảy ra, không phải người làm | is promoted · being said · could be generalized |
Phát âm cần chú ý
Người nói dùng 422 dạng rút gọn, ví dụ I'm, don't, you're. Hãy nói theo dạng ngắn đúng như bạn nghe.
- Âm “sh” và “zh”: initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, vibration /vaɪˈbɹeɪʃən/, penetration /pɛ.nəˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, anticipation /ænˌtɪs.əˈpeɪ.ʃən/
- Từ dài — đặt trọng âm cho đúng: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, overrated /ˌəʊvəˈɹeɪtɪd/, spontaneous /spɑnˈteɪ.ni.əs/
Những âm người Việt thường gặp khó:
- Cụm phụ âm cuối — đọc đủ từng âm, đừng nuốt âm cuối: playlist /ˈpleɪˌlɪst/, lens /lɛnz/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, fiend /ˈfiːnd/, prompt /pɹɑmpt/
- Âm /tʃ/, /dʒ/ và /ʒ/ — tiếng Việt không có, đừng đọc thành “ch” hay “gi”: vagina /vəˈdʒaɪ.nə/, couch /ˈkaʊ̯t͡ʃ/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, cheat /ˈt͡ʃiːt/, chuck /t͡ʃʌk/
- Âm /æ/ — mở miệng rộng hơn âm “e”: orgasm /ˈoɹ.ɡæ.zəm/, compatible /kəmˈpæt.ə.bəl/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, banter /ˈbæntə/, smack /smæk/
Cách luyện với video này
- Nghe hết video một lần, chưa cần nói, và ghi lại những từ bạn chưa biết.
- Bắt đầu ở tốc độ 0,75×, nói đuổi từng câu, rồi quay lại tốc độ bình thường khi đã quen.
- Ghi âm giọng mình rồi so với bản gốc, chú ý các từ như lesbian, vagina, couch.
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.