تدريب Shadowing: everything you want comes when you stop forcing it - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

Most people think discipline is forcing yourself to do something that you don't want to do.

⏸ متوقف مؤقتاً

السرعة:

387 جمل

إذا كانت الجمل قصيرة أو طويلة جدًا، انقر على Edit لتعديلها.

Most people think discipline is forcing yourself to do something that you don't want to do.

Dragging yourself out of bed at 5 a.m because some Navy SEAL on YouTube told you that's what disciplined people do.

And so when you don't do it,

you make it mean something about you.

I'm not disciplined, I don't have what it takes,

there's something wrong with me.

But here's the thing, there's nothing wrong with you.

You've just misunderstood what discipline actually is.

Because discipline is not the consistency of doing something you don't wanna do.

Real discipline operates at a completely different level.

And once you understand it,

the thing you've been forcing yourself to do becomes easier.

Not because you get tougher,

but because you stop fighting yourself.

So in this episode, I'm going to show you what discipline actually is,

why willpower keeps failing you,

and the two-part process that turns resistance into mastery.

So let's get into it.

All right, guys, there are sort of two different ways that you could go with this discipline conversation.

The first is where 99% of people go,

which is why so many people feel like they're undisciplined.

Because you can go on YouTube,

you can find 100 videos on five steps to become more disciplined.

You can find a bunch of habits of the world's most successful people.

You can find laws of leadership.

And it includes things like time blocking or habit stacking or the 21-day rule, the 5 a.m club.

And that's all fine.

But that is the surface game of discipline.

What we really want to take a look at is what's happening upstream.

what allows you to actually do the things

that you know would bring your health forward your relationships forward

your growth forward your wealth forward i want to talk about discipline at a root cause level because

when you understand discipline this way you're not just making an

effort from your end you're actually aligning your effort with a response from the universe now i know

that might sound a little bit new age

but bear with me here okay so you can do willpower or disciplined the hard way.

Anybody can do that, right?

It's like you can, if I point a gun to your head,

I can get you to do the work.

You would sit down, you'd write the marketing plan,

you'd make the calls, you'd do the sit-ups at the gym.

But that's the hardest way to live, right?

Living with a gun to your head,

living from what I would call a primal state,

that's pushing a boulder uphill every single day.

And so we want to find a way to actually act in alignment

and congruent with the things

that we believe we need to do in order to produce the results

that we want to get without having to force the action.

So we want to make the action easier by disciplining ourselves internally first.

I'm going to talk about two different ways that we can do this here.

Now, let's first talk about what's not working with willpower.

So if you keep procrastinating around something,

it's not because you're lazy.

What you'll find behind procrastination or self-sabotage or being undisciplined is some fear.

Like if you actually believe that the thing that you're about to go do might not work out,

you'll be tempted to not do it.

If you believe that you're not good enough, right?

Of course, your nervous system is going to resist putting you in a position where you might become exposed or grow.

If you believe money is hard to make,

you're going to resist building the thing that's supposed to make you money.

If you were programmed as a kid to be seen and not heard,

then your whole nervous system is going to resist becoming visible, right?

So you can put whatever action plan you want in front of you.

But if I tell you that what is in front of you is a tiger,

you're going to run in the other direction.

And so this is the challenge with most of the wonderful ideas out there that might work for some people,

like waking up early or time blocking or organizing yourself in a particular way or reducing context shifting.

All these are really great strategies.

But what we have to do is look upstream because this disciplined behavior is downstream of psychological alignment.

And when you really look at what discipline is, it's discipleship, right?

This isn't just a Christian concept.

The esoteric Egyptians taught this,

the Rosicrucians taught this through anthroposophy.

Every ancient tradition pointed to the same thing.

And that is a changed life is the byproduct of a changed mind.

If you want to become more disciplined at a root cause level,

we have to identify what is the inner conflict that is occurring for you that is making this action so difficult.

That is putting fear between you and the outcome.

Really, that was the entire teaching of the gospel, right?

That's why it was called the good news.

Christ came and said, hey,

don't be conformed to this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

And so you don't have to be stuck in your life and what we would call undisciplined.

You can actually create the breakthrough and start to align your identity and your actions

with the person who actually produces the outcome.

But in order to do that without force,

in order to make it consistent,

we've got to take a look upstream and see what's going on.

Because real discipline, and I want you to write this down,

real discipline is psychological.

Real discipline is not behavioral.

And that's the big mistake we make.

We look at the external and we go, oh, I'm not disciplined.

But really what's driving that action or preventing you from doing

that action externally that you believe you need to engage in and produce the result is something going on inside.

So the problem is most people are trying to discipline their behavior before they've disciplined their thinking, right?

And that's why it keeps falling apart.

100

If you actually believe something is hard,

101

do you believe you're going to be likely to do the thing.

102

But if you remove the concept of hard and you just realize like,

103

I'm going to be doing something for the first time,

104

it's not going to go as smoothly as it might the second time.

105

This is a learning process,

106

but I understand that this is the process

107

and I can truly enjoy the process of getting better and better at over time.

108

Aren't you more likely to actually do the thing?

109

So the story that we have about the action that we believe we should take,

110

that determines whether or not we are actually doing the thing

111

or doing the thing for a couple of weeks and then back on the couch.

112

So the discipline that you're being called to,

113

which again is not the alpha male,

114

hyper masculine, Navy SEAL type of discipline that we see on YouTube or Instagram or social media.

115

Real discipline is a discipline of awareness.

116

And that can be challenging because the external reality is so alluring.

117

Like we live in the sensory experience.

118

You've been given these five senses and we live in a sensory overload.

119

And so we almost forget our inner world.

120

But really the opportunity if we want to become disciplined is becoming aware of the resistance that is inside of us.

121

Identifying the old belief that comes up in the face of this action

122

or activity that you believe you should engage in and then working with that belief and choosing a new one.

123

One of the great distinctions that we teach that I think is one of the most powerful distinctions in personal growth,

124

when you're looking at trying to transform a belief,

125

you identify you've got this belief that is moving you into some form of suffering and deterring you from taking the action,

126

we want to work at the belief level.

127

And one of the most powerful distinctions is this distinction that beliefs are decisions.

128

You've decided that money is scarce.

129

You've decided that there's not enough time.

130

You've decided that you can't trust people.

131

You've actually decided that you're not disciplined.

132

And you're so powerful and your brain is a goal-achieving machine that whatever it is you believe becomes your reality.

133

And so the opportunity here is when you identify a limiting belief,

134

when you really look at what it is that you're not doing,

135

that you're not disciplined too externally.

136

And you go like, what is this resistance that comes up inside of me?

137

Every time I think about working on the presentation,

138

every time I think about making sales calls,

139

every time I think about taking some time for myself to meditate,

140

but I don't do it.

141

And you go, wow, what's happening inside of me when I'm confronted with that action is this idea that I'm not worthy,

142

or this idea that this is not going to work,

143

or this idea that there's not enough time.

144

and to decide differently, to decide that you are worthy,

145

to decide that this is going to work,

146

to decide that there is enough time to do the things that are important to you.

147

That small two millimeter shift,

148

realizing that beliefs are decisions and that you have choice transformed my life.

149

For years, I was not disciplined around my business.

150

I found it very difficult to sit down and actually do some work.

151

But part of that was I had a limiting belief,

152

which was that I'm not disciplined.

153

And I had a whole lifetime of history to prove it to myself.

154

I could look back and go,

155

I mean, look, you were an alcoholic,

156

you know, you were a drug addict,

157

you were a sex addict, right?

158

How can I possibly be disciplined enough to be successful in business?

159

And one of the things that I actually reframed,

160

which isn't just something I was making up,

161

it was really just seeing reality clearly,

162

was that I was very disciplined.

163

Like I was incredibly disciplined in my drug addiction.

164

I was incredibly disciplined with happy hour.

165

I was incredibly disciplined with my capacity to roll joints,

166

smoke them on the way to work and smoke them on the way back home.

167

So I had this story that I wasn't disciplined,

168

but in fact, I was very disciplined.

169

I was just disciplined in things that were representative of unresolved trauma.

170

I was disciplined in things that were not in alignment with the results that I actually wanted to create in my life.

171

So I started developing some new belief systems around every limiting belief that I could find.

172

I made a new empowered decision.

173

And what was really simple was that the new decision that I made was always the opposite of the limiting belief.

174

So I decided that I am disciplined.

175

I am worthy.

176

I am capable.

177

As I started to adopt those beliefs,

178

I started to incrementally take more action in the areas of my life where I hadn't been.

179

So I started to work out more.

180

I started to go out more.

181

I started to connect with others more.

182

I started to be willing to pursue the ideas that I had.

183

I started to actually take on learning how to do marketing and becoming a marketer.

184

You know, today I think I'm a really phenomenal marketer.

185

I've had to in order to get my mission and this message out there in the world.

186

But it didn't start out that way.

187

I had to start making new decisions.

188

You don't make that decision once, right?

189

You make it every time the old belief comes up.

190

You start focusing not on actually time blocking and task doing,

191

you focus more on your inner dialogue.

192

And so I had a process when I started becoming quote unquote disciplined,

193

which was really a shift in my identity.

194

It was called the morning dump.

195

Every single morning I'd wake up with all these reasons why I couldn't,

196

why I wasn't, right?

197

Why I wasn't disciplined, why I wasn't successful.

198

I created a three column spreadsheet.

199

And in the first column,

200

I would write down all of the negative inner belief systems that would come up.

201

And in the second column,

202

I'd write down exactly the opposite of what that belief was.

203

And in the third column,

204

I'd say, well, what evidence do I have for the fact that this new decision is true, right?

205

So I'd write down something like I'm not very disciplined.

206

And then in the second column,

207

I'd write, I am very disciplined.

208

The third column, I'd say,

209

well, what evidence do I have for the fact that this is true?

210

And I'd sit with it.

211

What's interesting about this process,

212

we call it the decision matrix.

213

Some of you have said this tool has completely changed your life,

214

is that if you're willing to just kind of sit with the new decision for a little bit,

215

there'll be old memories that come up,

216

evidence that you've sort of been filtering out of your conscious awareness

217

because it hasn't been congruent with this limiting belief that you have, right?

218

This belief that there's not enough time,

219

this belief that you're not good enough,

220

this belief that money is hard to make,

221

this belief that you can't trust people,

222

this belief that if you want to do things right,

223

you have to do it yourself.

224

But if you're willing to sit with it for a moment,

225

you start to activate old dormant memories.

226

You literally start to activate a part of your brain that has been sleeping.

227

And as you do that,

228

what you'll start to find is that the new decision

229

that you make actually starts to be more true than the limiting belief that you've been

230

Buying into so I would do this process every morning.

231

I did it for about 30 days It was called the morning dump again in the first column.

232

I'd write down my limiting beliefs How I was feeling in

233

the morning second column for each one I'd write a new decision

234

and then for each of those i'd say well What evidence do I have for the fact

235

that this new decision is true?

236

And i'd ask that question a couple of times, right?

237

So if my limiting belief was like,

238

you know, i'm not very good at anything My new decision would be i'm actually pretty good at most things

239

And i'd say well, what evidence do I have for the fact that this is true?

240

And i'm like,

241

well like i'm good at the simple things i'm good at

242

waking up i'm good at brushing my teeth I'm going to drive my car And then i'd ask the question again.

243

Okay.

244

What other evidence do I have for the fact that this is true?

245

And i'd say well i'm pretty good at marketing.

246

I'm pretty good at coaching I'm a pretty good friend say

247

cool What other evidence do I have for the fact

248

that this new decision is true that i'm pretty good at most things

249

And what you'll notice is is you're willing to spend just a couple of minutes on

250

that This whole new awareness starts to open up and you realize that you've sort of enrolled yourself

251

into this hallucination of the limiting belief.

252

And as you go through the first two,

253

three, four limiting beliefs, you don't need to go through all 30

254

or 40 that you would write down in a morning dump process.

255

Your whole attitude on life starts to change.

256

Your identity starts to shift.

257

You start to feel motivated.

258

And that's where discipline becomes more natural.

259

You're now not forcing the action.

260

You've just removed the resistance that was making the action so hard.

261

So this type of process,

262

reframing or limiting belief shifting work,

263

This is actually how you start to build new neural networks and new neural pathways.

264

You start to change your brain.

265

And so you become a person that from the outside looking in,

266

someone would say is disciplined,

267

like you're doing the work that you said you were going to go do, right?

268

But really from the inside looking out,

269

you know, no, this was who I always really was.

270

I've just removed the resistance that was preventing me from being that person.

271

What changes when you do the inner work first is that you're no longer battling yourself internally.

272

You're just practicing a new behavior.

273

And so it's kind of like if you and I were going to go practice a new tennis swing, right?

274

There's practicing the new tennis swing.

275

That's one thing.

276

And over time, we could dial that in.

277

We could get you disciplined to a new improved tennis swing.

278

But there's another scenario where you're practicing a new tennis swing

279

while a part of you is screaming that you're not good enough to be on the court, right?

280

So that's the challenge with trying to discipline yourself to new behavior is

281

that there's an internal dialogue taking place that makes the actual changed behavior harder than it needs to be.

282

So you can change your behavior.

283

You have the capacity to do that,

284

but not while you're criticizing yourself,

285

beating yourself up or scaring yourself at the same time,

286

because one is just mechanical.

287

It's a new habit.

288

The other is psychological warfare.

289

So we have to remove the psychological warfare and then now you don't have to push yourself into the new behavior.

290

You're no longer sitting on the sofa distracting yourself with Netflix and swiping left and swiping right and smoking pot and drinking,

291

you're actually out there practicing the new behavior.

292

And so number one, we have to understand that discipline is an interdiscipline.

293

It's not an external discipline.

294

The reason why most people fail in changing their behavior is they haven't changed the psychology that's motivating or preventing the behavior.

295

And then number two, what I want to explain to you now is that the confidence that you're looking for, right?

296

Because if you notice, like anytime you are feeling undisciplined,

297

there's a lack of confidence.

298

That confidence is gained through the doing, not before.

299

So here's where most people make their biggest mistake.

300

They think that the ability to do something well requires the confidence to do it first, right?

301

And so what most people do is they're waiting for the fear

302

or the doubt or for the discomfort to go away before they do the activity.

303

But that's not how it works.

304

In fact, it's just the opposite.

305

The confidence, the certainty, the comfort level is gained and the fear is eliminated through the doing of the thing.

306

And so the first thing we have to do is make sure

307

that we're psychologically and emotionally aligned that gives us a capacity to do the thing.

308

And we also have to understand that

309

even though it would be nice to be confident and certain and good at doing the thing before we do it,

310

that's not how it works, right?

311

All of those are rewards for being willing to do something imperfectly.

312

I look at this show,

313

for example, it's got like 240 episodes on the podcast now over the last three and a half years.

314

I had to be willing to start recording imperfectly and I had to be willing to record when nobody was listening.

315

It was 18 months that I was recording an episode every single week and about 5,000 people a month were listening,

316

which is still pretty cool, right?

317

But it wasn't until I got to around my 80th episode

318

that all of a sudden I started to really get good and I was rewarded algorithmically on YouTube.

319

And in one month, I went from 5,000 listens to a million listens on the show.

320

But that only happened because I was willing to do it imperfectly.

321

And by the way, you can go back

322

and listen to some the earlier episodes um i don't think they're bad

323

but they're not as good as they are today

324

and i got to be honest with you i still get anxious before i get in up

325

and speak on stage i still feel a twinge of anxiety before i sit down

326

and record an episode there's still an echo of that old identity

327

that says hey dave people aren't going to like you you're

328

not going to do it right like i lived with

329

that for the first 35 years of my life until i got into drug and alcohol and sex addiction recovery.

330

And it hasn't completely gone away.

331

But what I now understand is I don't need to be perfect.

332

I need to take a look at what's going on inside of me.

333

What am I thinking and work on transforming that resistance that will make the action and the effort easier.

334

And it's still going to be uncomfortable, right?

335

But the fear gets quieter every single time.

336

You know, one of my mentors said something that I'll never forget.

337

He said, in the beginning,

338

when you try anything new,

339

you're going to suck at it.

340

And you're basically going to suck at all of it.

341

And if you're willing to stick with the sucking long enough,

342

you'll suck a little bit less.

343

And if you stick with that long enough,

344

you'll actually start to get kind of sort of good at a few things.

345

And if you stick with that even longer,

346

you'll start to get genuinely good at most things.

347

And then eventually, if you stick with that long enough, you'll become great.

348

Eventually, people will look at you and go,

349

wow, look how masterful he or she is at that.

350

but there's no way to shortcut that process.

351

The gift is when you've done the inner work first,

352

the sucking doesn't take you out, right?

353

You're not making the suck mean that you're broken

354

and reinforcing the limiting belief that's been trying to prevent you from taking the action in the first place.

355

You're just in the practice.

356

And this is what discipleship really is.

357

This is following a true north and being willing to commit to the practice.

358

It's honoring the fact that your inner world outpictures itself.

359

And so you do the inner work first in order to make the external action easier.

360

It's honoring the fact that you become great at something by being willing to do it imperfectly for a long time.

361

That's discipleship.

362

That's discipline, right?

363

That's honoring who your higher power sent you to be.

364

So the question isn't, how do I force myself to be more disciplined?

365

The question is, what am I afraid of that's making the behavior so hard in the first place?

366

Because when you identify that fear,

367

when you name the limiting belief,

368

and when you start making new decisions as a practice over and over again,

369

the resistance starts to dissolve.

370

And then the action that you've been forcing yourself to take becomes the action you naturally want to take.

371

So discipline isn't about getting harder on yourself.

372

It's about getting clearer with yourself.

373

It's a discipline of the mind first and then a practice in the world

374

because the truth is you were never undisciplined You were just trying to discipline the wrong things

375

So I hope you love this episode as much as I

376

loved sharing it with you a couple of things number one

377

if you haven't yet subscribed become a member of our community we're growing so quickly because Man this personal growth thing.

378

It's not a thing you do on your own It's a thing you do with others

379

and if you haven't had an opportunity yet There's a ton of resources in the show notes.

380

You can jump on over to davidbear.com You can opt in to our newsletter.

381

You'll immediately get a four-part video series as well as download my Mindhack ebook for free.

382

And again, if you have questions or comments,

383

I've tried to read all of them.

384

Just drop them below if you're following along on YouTube.

385

And if you're on the audio platforms,

386

would love it if you leave a rating and review too.

387

But most importantly, I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.

TRENDING

الأكثر شعبية

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟

التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.

☕ اشترِ لنا قهوة

يظل ShadowingEnglish مجانيًا بنسبة 100% بفضل دعمكم. تكاليف الخوادم والذكاء الاصطناعي مرتفعة — قهوتكم تبقينا مستمرين! 🙏

التبرع عبر PayPal

ShadowingEnglish.com – تمرين التظليل الصوتي للإنجليزية

تحدث الإنجليزية بطلاقة باستخدام تقنية التظليل الصوتي. استمع لفيديوهات يوتيوب الأصلية، كرر جملة بجملة، وابنِ نطقاً حقيقياً وطلاقة — يستخدمها متعلمو IELTS حول العالم.

تدريب Shadowing: everything you want comes when you stop forcing it - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

الأكثر شعبية

السياق والخلفية

أفضل 5 عبارات للاستخدام اليومي

دليل خطوة بخطوة لممارسة التظليل

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟

تدريب Shadowing: everything you want comes when you stop forcing it - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

تنزيل التطبيق

السياق والخلفية

أفضل 5 عبارات للاستخدام اليومي

دليل خطوة بخطوة لممارسة التظليل

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟